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You're not bad with money. You were just
never taught how to use it. You were
taught how to earn it, not how to grow
it. You were taught how to spend it, but
not how to invest it. You were taught to
chase it, not how to make it work for
you. You weren't taught about investing,
only about surviving. And it's not your
fault you didn't know, but it's your
power to learn now.
>> The number one health and wellness
podcast,
>> J Shetty.
>> J Shetty,
>> the one, the only J Shetty.
>> Hey everyone, welcome back to OnPurpose.
I'm J Shetty and I am so deeply grateful
that you tuned in. I hope that you've
subscribed so that you never miss an
episode. And make sure you keep tagging
me on Instagram and Tik Tok and all your
platforms. I love seeing the clips and
the parts that resonate with you. And I
love the community we're building. Now,
today's episode is about something that
I believe is so important. It's
everything I wish I knew about money in
my 20s. Now, whether you're in your 20s,
30s, 40s, or 50s, this episode still
applies because I believe that financial
literacy is something we all learn far
too late. It's something that some of us
never learn at all. I'm sure you've had
some challenges with this. Whether it's
been credit card payments, whether it's
been debt, whether it's been
understanding how to make money or grow
money, whether it's understanding, do I
need a side hustle? How many streams of
income do I have? Do I really know where
I'm spending my money? Do I know where
I'm wasting my money? And chances are,
if you've turned up here, there's a part
of you that's also avoided money. I'm
guessing there's a part of you that
doesn't like looking at your bank
statement. There's a part of you that
maybe wants to put it away. There's a
part of you that doesn't check how much
you've saved because you're scared.
You're scared to look at the number.
It's hard to face. And here's what I
want to start by telling you. It's not
your fault. You were never taught how to
do it. It's not something you should
know how to do. I think we all feel like
we grow up and all of a sudden we're
paying rent. We're paying taxes. We got
to figure out what a mortgage is. We
have no idea how that works. Everything
has interest. And all of a sudden, you
grow up and you go, "Well, wait a
minute. No one taught me this in
school." Even if you studied economics
at school, you didn't know how real
world economy worked. Even if you
studied finance at university, you
didn't necessarily know how to start and
run a business. It doesn't work that
way. So, I want you to take the pressure
off and I want this to be the start of
you changing your money mindset. I want
this to be the beginning of transforming
your relationship with money. I think
that's the main thing I want to focus on
here. Currently, you have an avoidant
relationship with money. There are three
types of attachment styles in love.
Secure, anxious, and avoidant. And I
believe that those three attachment
styles are also our attachment styles
with money. We either feel secure
talking about money and what it is. We
feel anxious talking about money and how
much we make, save, and spend. Or we
avoid it all together. Which one of you?
If I asked you right now, do you feel
secure talking about money, listening
about money, looking at your bank
statements, looking at your budgeting
and saving? Do you feel anxious? So, you
might do those things, but actually
there's this underlying anxiety. I don't
have enough. I'm not going to have
enough. I don't like all of this. This
is stressful. And then there's
avoidance. I don't look at it at all. I
have no idea. We want to transform our
relationship with money to be secure.
I'm not saying we have to be overly
confident. I'm not saying you have to
become a millionaire. I'm not saying
that you've got to have an abundance
mindset. I just want you to feel safe
and secure talking about money, hearing
about money, and learning about money.
We've all been taught this myth. I'm
sure you've heard it before. Money is
the root of all evil. You know what's
really interesting about that? When you
actually check the actual reference,
the actual quote is the love of money is
the root of all evil. Notice how
different that is. It's not that money
is the root of all evil. It's the love
of money that's the root of all evil.
It's the obsession. It's the lust. It's
the greed after it that's the root of
all evil. But money itself is energy.
Money is a resource. Money is a
universal power.
Money's a currency.
But when we get lost in this belief that
it's bad, it's negative. Our
relationship with it becomes anxious and
avoidant. When we feel it's unhealthy,
we're not being told to not master our
money. We're just being told not to fall
in love with it and think it's the be
all and end all of everything. That's
the beginning of transforming our
relationship from avoidant to anxious to
secure. Let's dive in. Number one, you
don't have an income problem, you have a
decision problem. Most 20year-olds think
they'll be better with money once they
can earn more. I'm sure you've said this
as well. When I have more money, I'll be
better at dealing with it. Right now, I
don't have enough to even think about
it. But science shows that your sense of
control, not your salary, predicts your
financial well-being. People with an
internal locus of control, who believe
they influence their outcomes, are more
likely to budget, save, and bounce back
from financial stress. One of my
favorite quotes from Jim Ran is he said,
"Formal education will make you a
living. Self-education will make you a
fortune." But here's the takeaway. The
moment you take responsibility for your
financial habits, even if you're broke,
is the moment you start building wealth.
Here's an action. List three money
related decisions you can make today.
Even if your income is low, you could
set up a free budgeting app. You could
cancel one unnecessary subscription. You
could transfer £5 to savings or $5 even
if it feels small. Don't avoid talking
about money. Don't avoid talking to
people about money. Don't act broke to
stay relatable. Don't play so small so
no one feels uncomfortable.
Don't pretend you don't care about
wealth when you're struggling without
it. Don't shame ambition then envy the
results. Don't wait to get rich before
learning how to manage it. Don't hide
your financial goals. Speak them like
they already belong to you.
Don't stay silent about money and expect
your relationship with it to improve.
It's like not talking to your partner
and wanting to stay in love. Imagine if
you never talked about love. You never
talked about your relationship. You
never talked about connection or
intimacy. How good would your
relationship be? How healthy would it
be? People who believe that they can
control their destiny, that they can
change their reality, that they take
control of their financial habits, will
see change. I want you to recognize that
you won't feel better about your
financial situation because you avoid
looking at your bank statement. You'll
only feel better about your financial
situation when you actually turn towards
it. Number two, you won't save what you
don't see. This is a psychological
principle. We spend what we mentally
label as available. If your paycheck
hits your account and sits there, your
brain sees it as spendable. This is why
automation and separation are more
powerful than discipline. We think, "Oh,
I'll be disciplined this month. I'll
spend less." But no, if there's no
automation and separation of how that
money is divided, you will break your
discipline. Mental accounting helps
reduce friction between what you want
and what you do. There's an amazing
quote I love. It says, "Do not save what
is left after spending, but spend what
is left after saving." That's from
Warren Buffett, one of my favorite
quotes. Don't save what is left after
spending, but spend what is left after
saving. You want to create an automatic
save and then spend what is left over.
You don't want to be in a position where
you just have this amount in your
current account and you're thinking,
"Okay, I'm going to try and save some of
it this month." And then at the end of
the month, you're looking at it and
you're back at zero. You got to remember
this. Your brain is lazy but
programmable.
Make savings invisible. Open a second
account today. Automate 10%, 20%,
whatever you can do of every paycheck,
even if it's $10 to go straight there
and label it freedom fund. Label it your
freedom fund. Give it a name. Give it
something exciting. Don't just call it
savings because even the word savings
sometimes can feel boring and kind of,
you know, unenthusing or it can feel
scary to look at a savings account with
not much in it. But a freedom fund,
whatever inspires you, make it automated
and make it separated.
Don't just make money. Learn to keep it.
Don't spend to look rich. Save to stay
free. Don't let every paycheck pass
through you like you don't matter.
Don't confuse lifestyle with wealth.
Don't buy comfort now and borrow stress
later.
Don't think saving is boring. It's the
most rebellious thing in a world that
wants you broke. Don't wait until you
make more. Save now so future you has
options.
Don't treat saving like a punishment.
Treat it like selfrespect.
A lot of people that I've spoken to,
finance experts as well, will talk about
the dangers of how everyone online will
tell you, invest, invest, invest. You
may end up losing a bunch of money on
crypto. You may end up losing a bunch of
money on NFTTS. You don't need to do any
of those get-rich quick schemes. What
you need to focus on is building your
future. Number three, buying things
won't make you rich, but learning about
them actually might. Most people think
money is for spending, not studying, but
impulsive buying triggers dopamine and
short-term pleasure, while financial
literacy builds long-term gain. Studies
show those with higher financial
literacy experience lower anxiety, more
saving, and better life outcomes. Warren
Buffett said, "The more you learn, the
more you earn." Money grows when your
brain grows first. Talking about
investing, spend 10 minutes today
reading about a financial concept,
compound interest, inflation, investing.
Swap one scroll for one financial
insight.
Investing in yourself and your knowledge
is a far better investment at the
beginning of your wealth journey than
any other asset. I promise you that.
Buying things won't make you rich.
Impressing people won't build your net
worth. Wearing your salary won't grow
your savings.
Spending like you're wealthy won't make
you wealthy. Every time you buy to feel
better, you're selling off your future
peace. You don't need more stuff. You
need more strategy. The goal isn't to
look rich. The goal is to stop worrying
about money. Now, I'm not saying I don't
want you to treat yourself. I'm not
saying that I like nice things, too. I I
I don't think there's anything wrong
with that. You just don't want it to be
imbalanced. You don't want it to be that
you're stressed every time you buy
something. I was talking to a friend
about this. He didn't go to university.
He found something that he loved early
on in life and started making a living.
Now, in the beginning, it didn't make
him loads of money, but he learned very
quickly how to not get wrapped up in
building a lifestyle and actually how to
invest it and learn about it. And that's
the point I really want to bring about
here. It's not just investing. Before
investing, there's a learning piece.
Okay? Is it property? Is it compound? Is
it this? Is it borrowing? Is it? It's
figuring that out. And I think a lot of
people today will be like, "Hey, invest
in this cuz this is the next big thing.
Hey, invest in this cuz this is the next
big hit." And the challenge with that is
you do something with very low learning.
Usually, it's a very big investment. And
I've got another friend who knew nothing
about crypto, put practically 50% of his
life savings into it, and then the next
week when crypto dropped, he took
everything out cuz he'd lost 10K and got
worried about it. And then the next week
it all went up again. And then he'd lost
all of it. And it was just this mess of
getting involved in things and investing
in things that you have very little
insight over. At the same time, I've got
friends who got great jobs out of
university, but their lifestyle changed
so much that their lifestyle was
competing with their income. Right? When
your lifestyle is competing with your
income, the pressure that we experience,
that makes it extremely hard to turn
that into future value. A lot of the
times we can look at people and think
that they're spending lavishly, but
we're looking at a number, not at a
percentage. I would start looking at
your life as a percentage of how much
you spend on your lifestyle versus how
much you spend on your future. It's not
about the amount. Someone could spend
10,000 on a wedding. Someone could spend
50,000 on a wedding. Someone could spend
a million on a wedding. It's not about
the amount they spend. It's the
percentage of their income that matters
about how they spend. And so, stop
looking at numbers at face value. Start
looking at your life as a percentage of
what you're walking home with after tax
and figuring out how that feels for you.
I think the before and after tax is a
whole conversation in and of itself. So
many of us look at how much we make as a
revenue standpoint or as an income
standpoint and not looking at what does
that look like after tax? What does that
look like after rent? What does that
look like after my car bill? Right? I
see so many people with really great
amazing cars that is their entire salary
is the amount that car is worth and all
of a sudden when you start looking at
those payments monthly it starts getting
really painful. Don't ignore the reality
of trying to present your lifestyle in a
certain way. I've also find it to be
what's known as the golden handcuffs. A
lot of people get so used to their
lifestyle that they can't quit a job
they hate. So, you actually hate what
you're doing, but you can't stop doing
it because it pays for the lifestyle you
want. The question you have to ask
yourself is, do I want to do something I
hate for the rest of my life to pay for
things? And it's okay if you do. If the
answer is yes, that's fine. But oftent
times we get an opportunity to do
something closer to our heart but we
don't want to take it because we'd make
less. In my own life I went through
that. I had a stable job as a
consultant. I was doing okay. Okay being
very important as part of it. And I
wasn't doing well and I wasn't doing
badly. I was doing just fine. And I gave
that up to pursue my passion. And I'm so
grateful for that because I am so
thankful that I get to do what I love
today. But I had to take off the golden
handcuffs. I had a safe, stable career
lined up, but I was willing to make
less. I was willing to make nothing at
all in the beginning to get it going.
And I'm grateful that I was able to put
those down. So don't be tied by the
golden handcuffs. Step number four, debt
isn't evil, but ignorance is. Most
20somes are taught that all debt is bad.
It's not. What's dangerous is not
understanding how it works and what type
of debt you're getting into. We avoid
debt education out of fear. Yet, the
avoidance is what leads to mistakes.
Psychology shows that we react more
strongly to losses than gains. So, we
emotionally shut down around debt. One
of my favorite quotes is if you don't
find a way to make money while you
sleep, you will work until you die.
That's Warren Buffett as well. So the
takeaway is you can't beat a system you
don't understand. Action point for you.
Learn the basics. APR, credit score,
interest. Pick one debt. Could be your
student loan, credit card, and break
down how it actually works. Then make a
plan. Do one thing at a time. Don't just
look at debt as this one big bubble.
Student loan is different to credit card
debt. Go and understand it deeply and
see what support there is out there as
well. Number five, you're not lazy,
you're overwhelmed.
We blame ourselves for being bad with
money. But often it's not laziness, it's
too many small, unresolved financial
decisions draining willpower. Science
shows that decision fatigue leads to
avoidance, impulsive spending, and
missed opportunities.
PT Barnum famously said, "Money is a
terrible master, but an excellent
servant." Here's the takeaway. Simplify
before you scale. What does that look
like in action? Pick one financial goal
for the next 30 days. Just one. And
track only that. no pressure to fix
everything at once. And remember, you're
not bad with money. You were just never
taught how to use it. You were taught
how to earn it, not how to grow it. You
were taught how to spend it, but not how
to invest it. You were taught to chase
it, not how to make it work for you. You
weren't taught about investing,
only about surviving. You learned to
feel guilty when you had money and
ashamed when you didn't. You inherited
stress, not strategy.
And it's not your fault you didn't know,
but it's your power to learn. Now,
number six, your money beliefs aren't
yours, they're inherited. This is from a
psych principle of cognitive scripts and
money archetypes by Brad Klants. What we
don't realize is we grow up absorbing
money messages. Maybe in your house
people always said money is hard to
make. Rich people are greedy or we don't
talk about finances. These unconscious
scripts drive your habits until you
rewrite them. T Harve said your money
blueprints are not set in stone. You can
change them. So here's the takeaway. You
can't change your future until you
challenge your programming. Write down
three money beliefs you heard growing
up. What were the things your parents
said? What were the things your family
members said? What were the what was the
rhetoric around money? And ask yourself,
do these still serve me? Then rewrite
one. Instead of saying money is selfish,
write money is fuel for generosity.
Notice the difference. You can change
your relationship with money. You can
stop chasing it out of fear and start
building it from wisdom. You can stop
using it to impress and start using it
to invest. You can stop hiding from your
bank account and start owning every
number. You can stop saying I'm bad with
money and start learning like your
future depends on it. Because it does.
You can rewrite the money stories you
were raised on. You can replace guilt
with clarity. You can replace shame with
strategy, scarcity with intention. It's
not about how much you have. It's about
how you treat it. And how you treat
money determines whether it stays or
leaves. Think about a partner. Is your
partner going to stay if you don't
respect them? Is your partner going to
stay if you don't invest in them? Is
your partner going to stay if you don't
learn about them? Is your partner going
to stay if you avoid them? No. Money is
exactly the same. But why do we treat it
so differently? It's because of these
narratives that we've built up since we
were kids. I grew up in a house where we
always had just enough, which meant I
looked at my bank account growing up
with zero in it. A lot. I started
working when I was 14. I paid for my
first phone bill, paid for my car, my
car insurance. I started paying for
things very, very early in life, but I
was lucky to live at my parents, so I
wasn't paying for rent. But I started
learning the value of money. And I
remember growing up just looking at my
bank balance and seeing zero because my
money mindset was I need just enough.
Would I ever say I need just enough
oxygen?
Imagine you had all the oxygen for the
next 3 months in a bag. and you were
like, "All right, I've only got three
months, but I've got just enough for
three months." You'd you wouldn't do
that. You you'd be like, "Oh god, I need
to figure out how to get more oxygen or
I need to I need to have more available
oxygen. I can't live like that." Money
and oxygen are very similar like that.
And by the way, I've been there. I've
been nearly 4 months away from being
broke. I know what it feels like to be
living paycheck to paycheck with only
enough money for rent and groceries.
Having been there, what I know is that
there was a lot of fear. There was a lot
of stress. It was because I was avoiding
conversations about money. I was
avoiding looking at where the money was
going. It was just coming in and going
out and I wasn't breaking it down. If
you're not aware of how much is being
saved, how much is going for bills, if
you're not budgeting, if you're not
taking a look at this at a very basic
level, you will always be scared. I
don't want you to be scared anymore.
Number seven, generosity multiplies
wealth, not drains it. We're taught to
hoard money when stressed, but
psychology shows that intentional
generosity improves well-being,
long-term wealth mindset, and even
motivation. People who give, even small
amounts, are more optimistic and
productive. One of the things I love to
see is I've been very fortunate over the
last few years to lead some fundraisers.
We led one online during the pandemic
for Give India and it was phenomenal to
see so many of you jump in and it was
because of people like yourself who
jumped in at $5, $10 that we were able
to raise over $5 million in 24 hours.
People often think, what will my $5 do?
What will my $10 do? I promise you it
makes a difference because what we need
is a lot of people who give a little.
That great giving that happens connects
us. And I saw that in action. I remember
we did this live broadcast where we were
raising money. We had big donors who
were matching it. I had friends like Ray
Dallio come in and give a million
dollars to match whatever we were doing.
We had Indiaspora who were matching
whatever we made as well. But it was you
who raised millions of dollars that then
were matched by these other donors. And
that's what created this beautiful
feeling of giving. And one of the things
I think about is if I have more, I have
more to give. It's a beautiful mindset
to have. And that's what it is. It's the
responsibility of those who have more to
give more. That's what it's there for.
And so, you don't have to be greedy.
There's a famous quote that I've heard
many, many times, and it says, "Money
just makes you more of who you are."
Right? It just amplifies who you were in
the first place. A lot of us are scared
to become wealthy because we're scared
it might change our hearts. I'm here to
tell you that it will only make you more
of who you are. If you're a generous
person, if you have more money, you'll
just be more generous.
If you're a greedy, small-minded person,
it will just make you more of that. And
so, don't feel like it will change you.
It doesn't have to change you. There's a
famous Drake lyric that I love where he
said, "I like when money makes a
difference but doesn't make you
different." And that's what I think we
have to approach it from is how can we
use money to make a difference in our
lives, the people that we love and
people beyond. So that's the takeaway.
And here's the action I want to leave
you with here. Give something small this
week. £5 your time, a referral or a
skill. All of that is giving. Watch how
your energy towards money shifts when it
serves others as well. Here's my final
thought. Money isn't just numbers. It's
emotion. It's energy. It's identity. At
20, you're not too young to build
wealth. You're early enough to build it
with wisdom. Start with just one of
these shifts today. And remember, the
wealthiest people aren't always the ones
who made the most money. They're the
ones who built the best relationship
with money. Let me know what resonated
with you, what connected with you. I'd
love to do more episodes about our
financial health and well-being. I'm
always approaching it from an energetic
standpoint. I have some amazing experts
on the show giving you much more
tactical, practical, specific insights
on what to do with your money. Make sure
you go and check out those episodes.
We've had everyone from Cody Sanchez to
Jaspree to many, many more. Do not miss
those episodes on financial well-being.
I'll see you very soon. If you love this
episode, you will also love my interview
with Charles Doohig on how to hack your
brain, change any habit effortlessly,
and the secret to making better
decisions. Look, am I hesitating on this
because I'm scared of making the choice,
cuz I'm scared of doing the work?
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