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You have two ears and one mouth.
That ought to tell you something.
I like that phrase.
It's teaching us the best way to communicate is to listen, to listen well.
God says this in Proverbs 18. He says,
The reason why God gives us the encouragement is how we argue.
So often we argue by supporting argument,
supporting argument, supporting argument.
"This is why I'm mad."
But if you answer before listening, you never get to the real reason why the person's upset.
And you can major on a minor, on a supporting argument why the person's mad.
Let's say there's a man and a woman.
And she's upset that he hasn't taken out the trash.
So, she he says, "You didn't fix the towel rack."
Supporting argument.
"You leave your towel on the floor."
Supporting argument.
"You let the grass grow over the summer until it's way too long and then you finally mow it."
Supporting argument.
And he answers before she's done talking,
and says, "Why do you bring it up? The grass? It's winter now! Leave that alone!"
And she says, "You never do what you're supposed to do!"
And they start fighting about the grass.
They have a big blowout argument.
He says things he shouldn't.
She says things she shouldn't.
And they blow up and run away from each other.
Eventually, they reconcile, kiss and make up.
She thinks the argument's about the trash.
He thinks the argument's about the grass.
So, two weeks later, the trash isn't out again.
She yells at him, "We talked about this!"
And he goes, "No we didn't!"
And they fight about whether or not they fought about this before.
Does this sound familiar?
It's because we answer before the other person's done talking.
God says leave your past in the past.
When you're talking to someone,
don't do supporting argument, supporting argument,
supporting argument.
Instead, just go right to the cause,
right to the problem that's there.
And if someone comes to you and they're bringing up the past,
listen.
Because you love them, listen.
And then ask them why.
Why are you bringing this up?
What are you really upset about?
And then you can major on what the actual error, the actual mistake is,
and you will avoid so many fights.
Forgive others.
Leave it in the past.
Just as Jesus forgives you and leaves everything in the past.
Don't bring that up.
Focus on what's most important and you'll avoid big blowup fights and arguments.
I pray that gives you encouragement in your godly communication.
Thank you for joining me this week.
Have a wonderful weekend!
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