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Hello, Cookie Runners. I'm Time Keeper
Cookie, head of the Time Balance
Department, TBD for short. If you've
been following us since the 2021 launch
of critically acclaimed RPG Cookie Run
Kingdom, you know a lot has happened in
this timeline. I'm a little bored right
now, so come with me as I speedrun the
story. [music] For you new Cookie
Runners, you might want to circle back
to this video after downloading CRK,
available on the App Store now. I've
actually been in the story keeping tabs
this whole time. You just couldn't see
me. Though, I thought I'd try something
new and give these cookies a TLDR on
what's to come so they can move on with
their lives. I can change time because
I'm the boss and it's fun. So, here's a
dimensional rift recap where spoilers
are for everyone. Oh, one clock tick.
Let me call out of work.
Hey, Croissant Cookie. I'm going to be
out of office for the day, so hold down
the fort for me, okay? Wait, what? Time
Keeper Cookie, you just clocked in. Hey,
thanks. Bye. All right, that takes care
of that. No time to lose. Let's go. New
Cookie Runners, again, seriously,
there's spoilers [music] ahead. Watch at
your own risk.
>> HEY, HOUND. RUN LIKE THE WIND. Take the
crown as far as you can. We're right
behind you.
>> Bark, bark.
>> Looks like the dog has the crown.
>> Stop, thief.
>> Hello. Might as well save your breath
and stop the chase here. The crown never
appears again in this timeline. It's
lost to the end of time. Uh,
wait. Or was it that it'll be found
there? Hmm, guess I'll have to double
check. But, carry on. See you later.
Hmm?
>> [clears throat]
>> Hey again. Unsure about your long
journey?
Well, don't worry. You'll get to the
Vanilla Kingdom and all of the other
ancient heroes kingdoms in Crispia. But,
you will be tricked into unleashing the
greatest villain ever named Dark
Enchantress Cookie, who is actually an
evil manifestation [music]
of White Lily Cookie's soul that was
accidentally created through the pursuit
of forbidden knowledge, plunging the
world as you know it into a constant
battle between light and darkness for
the foreseeable future.
I know, it's a doozy and there's going
to be a lot of fighting. Ta-ta for now.
>> Um
Ensure there are enough arrows to hold
off a siege.
>> Our kingdom's coffers cannot sustain
these efforts. May I advise caution? For
soon even our citadel's kitchens will
have to switch from rainbow jellies to
plain jellies.
>> Silence! There will be no meals at all
if our kingdom is to fall.
>> Hi there. Just an FYI, your advisor is
planning to backstab you to take over
the kingdom and your son is going to
push you off the top of the castle
walls.
Might want to look into a more vetted
hiring process and some therapy.
>> [snorts]
>> What happens when you take 12 cookies
and leave them stranded on a treacherous
island left to face the elements?
>> Let's find out on Earthbread's
first-ever survival game show, Last
Cookie Standing.
>> I would hope the ones responsible for
our loss will be held accountable for
their miscalculations.
>> Hey, I was going to win it for us, but
then this bag of old rags wouldn't back
off.
>> Old rags? How dare you? I oughta
>> Okay, with that, it is now time to vote.
Caramel Arrow Cookie, you can stop.
>> Oh, hello. Don't mind me, I'm just
stopping by this parallel universe side
quest. Cream Unicorn Cookie is going to
win and this show is going to get
cancelled after season 1. I know a lot
of effort is going to be put into the
show, but uh you might want to cut back
on the budget.
>> Now that the strength of the seal is
gone, it is time. Awaken
my comrades, my friends, the almighty
beasts.
>> Cookies, cookies, I know you're all
upset. Just so you know, Silent Sault
Cookie was the one who actually sealed
all of you beast cookies away. So, why
doesn't everyone just chill out for a
couple of updates, yeah?
>> [clears throat]
>> Return to flower.
>> Oh, no.
>> Look, Yodel, IT'S TURNING WHITE. I DON'T
WANT TO CRUMBLE HERE.
NOT HERE.
>> [screaming]
>> NOT LIKE THAT.
>> MYSTIC FLOWER COOKIE, you
you beast.
>> [gasps]
>> What's with all this flower in the air?
Anyway, Mystic Flower Cookie almost
wipes out your kingdom and friends, but
then after a hard fall down the stairs,
you pick yourself back up and win. So,
everything doesn't turn back into
flower. Yay!
Oh.
>> No, no, no. The bird hunt can't end like
this. Where's the thrill? You will
crumble and become dust like all those
trinkets you treasured so.
>> Oh, sorry, but your bird escapes with a
new pair of wings. Also, rip cilantro
cobra cookie.
>> Oh, no. The last piece has crumbled. Now
it's only us left. Think about it. If
you really had what it takes, you
wouldn't have ended up here. Now would
you?
>> He's a liar. She's a liar. He's a liar.
Everyone just lies.
Pure vanilla cookie, you tried to be
nice, but Shadow Milk Cookie thinks
that's cringe and gets away again. Get
it together, you guys. Love the new fit
you're going to get though, Pure Vanilla
Cookie.
>> Hollyberry Cookie is mine forever and
ever.
>> [gasps and sighs]
>> Especially since I have this.
>> [laughter]
>> Nobody wants to stay in your paradise,
and you're going to absolutely crash out
about it.
>> Make sure not to wander about this late.
>> Others say that the Calanamic Knights
have turned against us peaceful cookies
instead of protecting us.
>> Truth always comes to light, much like a
spring quenching the thirst of a barren
land. Yes, the knights always stand by
those in need.
>> All of your friends crumble, so stay
calm and cookie on. Please don't hurt
White Lily Cookie. She's been through a
lot.
>> Leave me.
>> How could this ultimate cookie possibly
change our world.
>> Countless souls endose, all merged into
one, will become the ultimate cookie's
body. In other words, the ultimate
cookie is destined to transcend all
limits and gain infinite power.
>> So, this all boils down to a crazy
final battle. Espresso Cookie absolutely
bodies you by undoing your taboo magic.
Then your ultimate cookie and your witch
worm flop. Sorry, but you're going to
lose and Cookie kind moves on without
you.
>> What could have gone wrong? Where did I
make a mistake?
>> There. We're all caught up. How's that
for a speed run, eh? Just another casual
stroll in the timeline for me.
>> [laughter]
>> Now, time to check on that cake hound
with a crown at the end of two.
Give me just a clock tick. I got to take
this. Hello?
>> Time keeper cookie, what happened? The
timeline is going haywire and all the
cookies are having existential crises.
>> Oh, I thought letting everyone know
their futures would save time. Hmm,
guess that didn't work. Oh, well. No
worries, Croissant Cookie. I'll fix
everything in A CLOCK TICK.
THERE. BACK TO NORMAL. By the way, my
powers only work in Cookie Run. So, if
you didn't listen to my spoiler
warnings, blah blah. But at least you're
caught up. If you want to stay up to
date, make sure to like and subscribe to
this channel. The ad revenue really
helps fund the TBD. Want to know where
the story is going to go next? Well,
that is TBD.
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