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I don't think people understand
the other side that comes with it.
They're so quick to call you strange
and weird,
but it's almost as if you're forced
to be different because it's not normal.
Wherever the Jackson Five would go,
there would be mob scenes.
We couldn't go in a shopping
center or anywhere
because kids screaming.
We had hit records back to back to back.
We were playing these sellout
big arenas across America,
and so it was difficult.
We did have a chance to have
some fun, but in the hotel.
There would be a pillow
fight in the hotel,
or if we wanted to swim after hours,
we would swim in the pool downstairs,
that type of thing.
I mean, to all of us, we thought this was
the most wonderful thing in the world.
Who wouldn't have wanted that life?
It is wonderful.
There is a lot of wonderment
in being famous.
You travel the world and you see things,
you meet people, you go places.
It's great.
But then there's the other side.
There's lots of rehearsal, and you have to
put a lot of your time, give up yourself.
When I was real little
I went to public school once, and I went
to another public school for one week.
It got so bad, the fans, they come
in the class and chase us around and stuff.
The only total strangers he trusts are
the ones out there beyond the footlights.
At your concerts,
there are hundreds of people in the
audience yelling, Michael, Michael.
What do you feel like?
When they're all holding hands,
everybody's rocking and all colors
of people are there, all races,
and so its a wonderful thing.
There are some people who believe
that having always been on stage, you've
never had to deal with the real world.
That's true in one way.
That's true in one way,
but it's hard to in my position.
I try to sometimes,
but people won't deal with me in that way
because they see me differently.
They won't talk to me like they will
next door neighbor.
I get afraid of, well,
if I don't know people.
I get afraid of people sometimes.
There's a whole other life that I
haven't really experienced that.
Like friendship is a thing I'm just
beginning to learn about.
I was raised on the stage.
That's where I'm comfortable.
Everything else is like foreign to me.
I'm just beginning to know
and learn about people, friendship.
Yeah, because wherever I go,
I disguise myself.
People, they just go,
they really go crazy.
They're very happy to see you.
It feels as if they know you and
you have to respond back
to them like you know them.
Right.
They feel they personally know you.
That my pictures are on their walls,
my music is playing in their house.
I don't think you find me
in a disco or at a nightclub.
All of those places are fun if
that's what you like to do.
Just when I go to places like that,
it becomes work instead of pleasure.
They announce that I'm there
over the loudspeakers and they play all
my records and I'm signing autographs.
And again, you're on stage.
Yeah.
So it's not fun.
I've done disguises and all kinds
of things and it just doesn't work.
Or you go to the club,
as soon as you go in there,
every song is my song as if I want to hear
my music and everybody starts
chanting for me to dance.
So it becomes a show all over again.
So you can't go anywhere.
Wherever you go, you know.
That's not much of a life.
I know it's difficult.
And I don't want to complain like I'm
complaining because it
comes with the territory.
But I don't think people understand
the other side that comes with it.
So they're so quick to call
you strange and weird.
But it's almost as if you're forced
to be different because it's not normal life.
Sometimes I want to sneak into places
and not have any hoopla or, you know.
And doesn't work all the time because
people start and they crowd around.
I like to sneak into theaters
without being noticed sometimes.
Sometimes there's really
nothing you can do about it.
It's the price you have to pay.
Well, I've heard sometimes you turn up
in the most unexpected places to your
friends dressed in that they
don't even recognize you.
I have incredible disguises.
I can fool my own mother.
I enjoy doing it because I get to see
life the way it really is sometimes.
Well, the best privacy is
within yourself and to
be independent at home or something.
Because everything I want to do is here.
I can do whatever I want here.
It's loose and free.
If I go out somewhere, it's different.
You get sworn by lots of
photographs of people.
You just don't seem to enjoy it.
Enjoy what?
Enjoy your success.
Enjoy your wealth.
It's hard to… I can enjoy it behind my
gates, but I can't go out and enjoy it
because it becomes work all over again.
I have a good… I mean,
I can't go into a park.
I can't go to Disneyland as myself.
I can't go out and walk down the street.
There's crowds and bumper to bumper cars.
So, I create my world behind my gates.
Everything that I love
is behind those gates.
I would like to be able to go
out in public and just be normal sometime
without people recognizing who I am,
just to get a little bit of a feeling
of what it's like
to be of the regular norm,
to see how things are done, to
learn what people speak about when
they're just casually talking.
Because as soon as they see it's Michael Jackson,
the conversation changing.
It all becomes about me and not about
the situation, the moment
that's happening at the moment.
Right.
I would learn a lot from that.
I don't get to see that unless I disguise
myself and put on a lot of things and then
they stare at me and then
it's even different.
It's not the same even then.
Every book you buy, they wonder,
Why are you buying this?
Why is Michael Jackson buying this?
Why is he reading this?
Do you not sometimes wish that you could
go to the local store and- Of course.
-buy yourself some food
and come back or go to a bar?
Of course.
I want to go to the market,
one of those markets,
and pick one of those carts and throw
some food in there and go down the aisle.
I would love to do that.
Can you do that?
No, of course not.
Of course not.
I tried and the whole place stops.
Everybody's chanting
and getting an autograph.
It's hard.
It doesn't work.
I said on one of my interviews, It's
my dream to go in a supermarket and just
shop and be like everybody else and put
things in a basket because I can't do it.
Because when I try to do it,
people crowd around you.
They want photographs and they want
you to sign things and take pictures.
A good friend of mine who owns this mall,
he had them close,
the whole shopping mall.
He had people in there that I knew,
pretending as if they were shopping.
So, it felt like it was a real environment.
I met my cousins dressed like they
were bag boys and I went shopping.
It was great.
They planned everything
right down to the music.
Now people will know who you are
when you put the glove on.
I just trying to think.
It was a lot of fun.
It gave me a chance to see in my way what
the real world is like,
even though it wasn't the real thing.
I somewhere see myself
like you or like the people in this room.
I'm human, just like you are.
I'm no better than you are.
I mean, I have a certain talent
with my art and songwriting and dancing
and the drama and the whole thing.
So it's no right for me to think I'm
better than you or
have an ego to walk on air.
There are lots of people
in my field who are like that.
And most of those people, they fall.
They really do.
They begin to treat people who help them
badly and to forget where they came from
and to forget about those
who helped them get where they are.
Weren't you surrounded by your family,
by musicians, by people wanting to be your
friend, you were
an international superstar.
How can you say you had no friends?
Because those people
spoke to me on a language on another
level, that was musical,
that was entertainment.
But to get away from that,
to separate oneself from that and to try
to discover the fun things about life.
-you often seem very lonely.
Is that true?
I used to be very lonely.
Painful lonely.
So lonely.
You have no idea.
I used to walk the streets
looking for people to talk to.
When do you feel lonely?
When do I feel lonely?
I mean, I can be- usually in hotels.
When there's thousands of fans
chanting, you're out in the street,
losing sleeping bags and thier chanting
because they love you and everything
and you can't get out, you feel
trapped inside and you just cry.
You feel lonely and there's
all that love out there.
But still, you really do feel trapped
and all, but you can't get out.
Do you think that your success has
actually made people turn against you?
The bigger the star,
the bigger the target.
And the more popular I became,
the more rumors that were created,
which none of which were true.
I'd say a lot of people misunderstand
me because they don't know me.
I guess that's true.
People believe a lot
of crazy stories they read.
Some is true, some is not.
Does it hurt when you
see those crazy stories?
Sometimes.
Do you ever want to lash out in any type
of way and say, Hey, that's not true?
Yeah, a lot of times.
But why bring more attention to anything?
I've been living in that life all my life.
The tabloid press, that kind of press,
not the press, the tabloid,
the paparazzi, that type.
I've been running for my life like
that, hiding, getting away.
You can't go that way
because they're over there.
Well, let's go this way.
Pretend we're going that way
and we'll go that way.
Somebody should say, Hold on, stop.
This person deserves their privacy.
You are not allowed to go there.
I go around the world dealing
with running and hiding.
I can't take a walk in the park.
I can't go to the store.
I have to hide in a room.
You feel like you're in prison.
Can you ever do anything that's right?
No
No
No, no, no.
No matter what you do,
there's always somebody that will say
something about you,
they have their opinion on you.
No matter what you do,
no matter how well,
how good your intentions are,
there's always some jerk,
some mean-spirited person
to try to bring you down.
And all you want to do is
bring some love and some joy.
With great success,
people become jealous.
It hurts to be misunderstood.
No matter how much you try to put people
on track, there will
still be some judgment.
And what is said that it's
so far from the truth.
Just because it's in print
does not make it the gospel.
And because they're sensationalizing this
to an immense degree,
it's a feeding frenzy.
Just because of my celebrity.
The bigger the celebrity,
the bigger the target.
And they have to remember that.
So they turn this into money.
It's like, who get the biggest rating?
It's terrible what's happened with it.
But it's part of what I have
to suffer as a celebrity.
It's part of what I have to go through.
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