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Hello, one marriage, please.
We want to get married. Well, there's a
service in progress. Have a seat.
All right.
What are you doing?
Oh, it's the wedding march. Does Does
that freak you out?
No, only because it's the graduation
song.
>> [laughter]
>> Okay.
This is it. We're going to get married.
Are you sure you want to [music] do
this?
HELLO, MRS. ROSS.
WHY, HELLO,
MR. RACHEL.
>> [laughter]
>> WAIT. OKAY.
>> [laughter]
[laughter]
[laughter]
>> WELL, WE WENT TOGETHER. I DON'T KNOW.
DO YOU DO YOU HAVE ANY DO YOU HAVE ANY
CLOTHES ON?
YES. REALLY? NO.
>> [laughter]
>> But we we didn't have
sex, uh did we?
>> [laughter]
>> I mean, I don't remember much about
last night. It was
>> [laughter]
>> such a blur.
Oh.
I remember laughing. Huh? I laughed a
lot.
>> Then we didn't have sex.
>> [laughter]
>> Oh, I mean, we were really drunk.
I'm just glad we didn't do anything
stupid.
>> Tell me about it.
Hey. Hey.
>> Hi. Thank you.
Oh.
>> [laughter]
>> What? Are we going to talk about what
you guys did last night? Or
What do you mean last night? Nothing
Nothing
Nothing happened last night.
>> [laughter]
>> Ross invited us all to watch.
Rach, we were going to miss our friends
getting married. WHO GOT MARRIED?
YOU DID?
WHAT?
WAIT, [laughter] HELLO, we didn't get
married.
>> [laughter]
>> Wait Wait Wait Wait, I remember being in
a chapel. But they they they would not
let us get married when we were that
drunk. They'll let you get married when
you're drunk.
Most people get married in Vegas are
drunk.
I'm drunk right now.
Why can't I have a mimosa with
breakfast? I'm on vacation.
What are you guys going to do? Well, I
guess we just find a divorce lawyer?
Well, I think I think
Ross already has one.
Now, this one's free, right? Because you
paid for the first two, so you get the
third one for free.
Laugh it up, but the joke's on you
because we don't need to get divorced.
Okay? We We're just going to get an
annulment.
>> Ross, I don't think surgery's the answer
here.
>> [laughter]
>> Oh, oh, that's your thing.
>> [laughter]
>> What?
Your
thing, you know, that you're the guy who
gets divorced.
No, no, no, that's not my thing.
I do not love getting divorced.
Yes, you do. This is your third divorce.
In fact, you love divorce so much,
you're probably going to marry it. And
then
>> [laughter]
>> And then it won't work out, so you're
going to have to divorce it, DIVORCING
GUY.
>> [laughter]
>> I'M SO DRUNK.
YOU GOT married again.
Yes.
So, that's your second marriage in 2
years. Yes. Second in 2 years. Third
overall.
Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for
23 years, and never have I had so much
business from one client.
>> [laughter]
>> Why don't you tell me what happened?
Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas,
and we got drunk.
>> I'm sorry. Is this the same Rachel whose
name you said at the altar in the second
marriage? Yes, yes, yes.
>> [laughter]
>> But I I do not love her. Oh.
That's better, then.
>> [laughter]
>> This was just a drunken mistake, and I I
need to get it annulled. I see.
Have you considered therapy?
>> [laughter]
>> I think just the annulment for today.
>> [laughter]
>> There are a couple forms to fill out.
Easy. And we'll need to have witnesses
who can testify that you were not of
sound mind. No problem.
>> [laughter]
>> And we'll need you and Rachel to testify
before a judge.
Ooh.
There's no way to do this without her
cuz I kind of already told her it was it
was taken care of. Of course you did.
Look, Ross, you can't get an annulment
unless you and Rachel are both there.
Uh-huh.
What about someone who looks like
Rachel?
I will think about the therapy.
Hey. So, uh did everything go okay with
the annulment? Oh, yeah. No problems.
It's all taken care of. Ross, thank you.
Hey, you guys want to go see a movie?
Oh, yeah. Why not? I'm going to get my
sweater. Okay.
You want You want to hear something
weird? Always.
I didn't get the annulment.
What? We're still married.
Don't tell Rachel. See you later.
>> [laughter]
>> Hey, do you have any gum? Oh,
Wait. Wait. Hi. Listen, Ross, can I just
talk to you for just a second?
>> Oh, but Phoebe, we're going to be late
for the movie. Oh, THERE'S A CAB. TAXI!
OH, that's funny.
What timing, my god, huh? Here you go.
Here you go. We're We're actually just
going to walk cuz it's right up there at
the Angelica. OH, THE ANGELICA. GO, GO!
YOU DIDN'T GET THE ANNULMENT? I KNOW.
ROSS! WELL, I tried, but when I got to
my lawyer's office, all I could hear was
three divorces, three divorces.
Look, I just don't want my tombstone to
read Ross Geller, three divorces.
Don't be worried about that. Your
tombstone can say whatever you want it
to say. It can say Ross Geller, good at
marriage.
You know,
mine's going to say Phoebe Buffay,
buried alive.
>> [laughter]
>> Well, all I know is I I can't have
another failed marriage.
>> So, okay, what? You're going to be
married to a girl who doesn't even know
about it?
Woman, sorry.
>> [laughter]
>> Well, okay, so I don't have it all
worked out quite yet. Just don't don't
say anything to Rachel, please.
>> Rachel is one of my closest friends.
Although, being the only one that knows
about this does make me feel special.
Okay.
Phoebe! Hey, Rach!
>> [laughter]
>> What was that? Sorry, mix-up.
Hey, how was the movie?
I haven't seen it yet. Well, then you
BETTER HURRY. THE ANGELICA. GO, GO!
OKAY, BYE. OH, NO.
SO, did you get the annulment?
I couldn't. I knew it because you love
Rachel.
>> [laughter]
>> It's not that, okay? Annulments are more
complicated than Complicated cuz of the
love.
I do I do not love Rachel. I'm going to
tell her right now about the whole thing
so we can get this marriage annulled as
fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that
if if I loved her?
I've never been more convinced of your
love for her.
>> [laughter]
>> I do not have feelings for Rachel, okay?
Oh, what's wrong?
I know good Chandler are really moving
in here, and I have to move out, and
everything is changing.
>> Oh my Oh, come here. Come here. It's
okay.
Oh, everything's going to be okay.
Thank you. Of course.
Hello. Hello, is Ross there? Uh no, he's
not. Can I take a message? Yes, this is
Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer. Just
tell him that since I haven't heard from
him, I assume he's decided to give the
marriage a try.
Ross got MARRIED AGAIN? NO!
>> [laughter]
>> ALL RIGHT, KEEP GOING. WE ARE phasing
the accent out. Phasing it out.
So, without retesting their results in
the laboratory,
the team would never have identified
>> [laughter]
>> the initial errors in their carbon
dating analysis.
>> [laughter]
>> Are there any questions at this point?
Yes. What's happening to your accent?
Come again. What's What's this nonsense?
>> [laughter]
>> All right, I'm I'm not English.
I'm from Long Island.
I was really nervous and the accent just
just came out.
>> [laughter]
>> I'm sorry.
So, if we can just get back to the
lecture.
Um
Were there any questions?
>> [laughter]
>> About paleontology?
All right, look, I was just trying to
make a good first impression. Obviously,
I screwed up. But what you guys think of
me is really important because I'm I'm
hoping to get a permanent job here.
So, if you just give me another chance
to make A GOOD IMPRESSION.
ROSS, ARE YOU CRAZY? I'M STILL YOUR
WIFE. WERE YOU JUST NEVER GOING TO TELL
ME? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I COULD JUST KILL YOU.
>> [laughter]
>> WELL, uh Rachel. You two are involved in
a serious relationship. That really
creates a problem.
>> Ross, your honor, rest assured that
relationship ended 2 years ago and can
you please strike consummated like
bunnies from the record?
Is there anything in this record that is
actually true? Uh
Well, yes, we uh we got married in Vegas
and and the names, I think.
Well, based on what I've heard, you two
certainly don't qualify for an
annulment. Oh. If you don't want to be
together, you'll have to file for
divorce.
That's [snorts] great. You happy now?
Look what you did with your funny funny
form. Hey,
what about YOU AND YOUR CONSUMMATED LIKE
BUNNIES NONSENSE?
And what are you typing that for?
See what he said? We don't get the
annulment.
Don't type that. What?
Stop typing. [laughter]
Hey.
Stop typing.
STOP TYPING. STOP TYPING.
OKAY, DO YOU SEE DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE
keeping me married to?
>> [laughter]
>> You need to get out of my chambers. All
right, look, lady, here is the deal. I
came here for an annulment and I am not
leaving here until I get one.
>> Would you like to spend the night in
jail? Okay, thank you for your time.
Oh, honey, thank god you're home. I was
getting worried.
I picked up the divorce papers.
Uh
I've already signed everything and I put
little X's where you need to sign. Oh,
little X's, great. That makes up for
everything.
You know, I
You've done a lot of stupid stuff, too,
okay? Oh, name one stupid thing that is
as stupid as this one. Okay, how about
you flew to London to stop my wedding?
How about you told me you loved me after
I was already married?
>> a minute. That was different. I did
those things because I was in love with
you.
>> Yeah, right.
You're right. That's very different.
So, let's let's just sign the papers.
What?
Nothing.
Okay, can we just sign, please? Mhm.
>> [laughter]
>> Congratulations.
Okay, wait, Ross. Wait Wait a minute. Um
I uh kind of have a little confession.
What?
Uh well, you know, this whole marriage
thing
kind of my idea.
Excuse me? Uh well, remember how we were
too drunk to remember anything the night
we were married?
Yeah. And uh yeah, I didn't really I
didn't want to say anything, but it just
kind of kept coming back to me and
um remember we were in the casino and
for some reason you thought it would be
funny to eat a lot of grapes.
And uh and I thought it would be funnier
if we got married.
So,
as a as a compromise, we decided first
to get married and then eat a lot of
grapes.
>> [laughter]
>> So, um
sorry I
got us into this whole thing.
So, then if if I mean, if you think
about it, this is all
your fault.
Yeah, don't push it, though.
I got to say I
I know I divorced a lot of women.
Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
I know.
I always thought if you and I got
married, that would be the one that
stuck.
And it wouldn't be a secret.
And we wouldn't have our wedding dinner
at Pizza Hut.
>> [laughter]
>> Did I Did I even treat? No, it was on
the house. It was It was a newlywed
special.
That may be the most depressing thing
I've heard in my life.
>> [laughter]
>> All right, I should probably get these
to my lawyer's office. Yeah.
Hey, thanks, Ross, for taking care of
all this.
>> Uh no problem.
I'm going to need a copy of those.
>> Totally.
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