By
Viewed
4,595
Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
Questions: 0/1414
Correct: 0
Translate:
[music]
[laughter]
Oh, look what happened. [laughter]
Huh? Check me out. I'm in my kitchen
naked.
Picking up an orange.
I'm naked. [laughter]
Lighting the candles
naked and carefully.
>> [laughter]
>> Oh my god, that's Rachel naked.
[laughter]
I can't look at that. I am looking at
this. Okay. Vivid colors, expressive
brush strokes, [laughter]
unless she wants me to be looking at
that.
She knows I'm home. She knows I can see
her. What kind of game is she playing?
[laughter]
I think maybe someone's lonely tonight.
[laughter]
Oh, Dr. Geller, stop it. You're being
silly. [laughter]
Or am I?
>> Oh, I miss you already.
>> Can you believe this happened?
>> No. No.
>> And yet it did.
>> Goodbye, Janice.
>> Kiss me.
Oh, Chandler. Sorry.
Oh, Chandler. Sorry.
[laughter]
>> Hey, Janice. Hi, Monica.
>> Okay. Well, this was very special.
[laughter]
>> Great. SHE COULDN'T SEE WHO'S OUT HERE.
WHAT'S going on? Oh my god.
Janice T.
>> Janice is gonna go away now.
>> [laughter]
>> I'll be right back. Oh,
Joey, look who it is.
>> Whoa.
[laughter]
>> Oh, good. Joey's home now.
>> This is so much fun. This is like a
reunion in the hall. [laughter]
>> Oh, hi Ross. Yeah, there's someone I
want you to say hi to.
>> He just happened to go.
>> Hello, Ross. Yes, that's right. It's me.
How did you know?
>> She's sweat. Wet. [snorts] Got it going
like a turbo vet.
>> So, fellas.
>> Yeah.
>> Fellas.
>> Yes.
>> Has your girlfriend GOT THE BUTT?
>> HELL YEAH.
>> SO, SHAKE IT.
>> Shake it.
>> SHAKE IT.
>> SHAKE IT. SHAKE THAT NASTY BUTT.
>> Baby got back.
>> One more time from the top. I like BIG
BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE. You are the
[laughter]
>> Rachel, please. That is so
inappropriate.
really think this is okay.
>> Well, Ross and Emily aren't going to use
it.
>> Oh, it's so beautiful.
>> Oh,
you know, I I don't know if I feel right
about this.
>> Oh, mama. Mink. [laughter]
This is the honeymoon suite. The room
expects sex.
The room would be disappointed if it
didn't get sex. All the other honeymoon
suites would think it was a loser.
>> [laughter]
>> Okay.
>> Okay,
>> Emily. Nope. Not under here.
>> Hey.
>> Hi.
>> So, did you uh did you tell Ross?
>> Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo
related emergency.
So, I guess now it's your turn again.
>> No, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's
better if you tell him. You know, it's
easier for a woman. That way you know if
he gets mad, all you have to do is go. I
didn't mean it.
I'm I'm so sorry.
[laughter]
>> Yeah, cuz that's what we do.
>> All right. All right. Okay. Um how about
this? How about this? Tomorrow
>> Mhm.
>> Tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell
them together.
>> Okay, that sounds fair. That just means
though once again.
>> I know. I know. That's okay. I mean, we
can control ourselves. We're not handm.
>> Of course, we can wait.
>> All right. So, I guess that means good
night then.
>> Yep. Good night.
>> Good night.
>> Good night.
Seriously, good night.
>> Stop saying good night. Okay.
>> I'm so sorry.
>> Hey,
>> was the show still on? Almost over, man.
Hey, Non. Oh, go. Is that the Pope?
>> Why am I looking?
>> Oh, look. Here I am. Look, this is my
big scene.
>> All right, back off. [laughter]
>> I got a gun.
I'm not afraid to use it.
>> Oh, Joey.
>> That's right, Lony.
>> You couldn't have at least changed your
shirt.
Now, I want a suitcase filled with
$100,000
[laughter]
filled with $100,000 in small bills. And
if I don't get
>> And if I don't get it,
I'm going to shoot this duck.
>> Oh, no.
>> I'm coming out.
And she supposed to buy this
>> Joey. Bravo.
>> Ground control to major.
Commencing countdown. Engines
on. [laughter]
[laughter]
That's uh scenes from next week's show.
Next week.
>> I am definitely going to watch that.
>> Do you not want to be seen with me?
>> What? No. Of of course I do. Are Are
they gone?
>> Uh, no. They're still here. But I think
I'm about to leave.
>> What? No. No. Wait. What?
You're right. This is stupid. Who cares
what people think? I mean, we we like
each other, right? There's nothing wrong
with that.
Come on,
>> Bert. Lydia, Mel, [laughter]
>> this is Elizabeth.
>> Hi.
>> Aren't you in my popular culture class?
>> That's right, Lydia. Elizabeth here is a
student and uh we're dating. And you may
frown upon that, but we're not going to
hide it anymore. [laughter]
You are so fired.
>> What? They're going to fire you. You
can't date a student. It's against the
rules. Really? It's not just frowned
upon.
>> Oh my god. Did you hear that? She said,
"Manica,
[laughter]
they can't leave her."
>> You know, if you want, we could sneak
the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't
even know. That's not going to work. I
had that dog there for 3 days and
Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
>> Hey, [laughter] I didn't know either.
>> Yeah, but you kind of knew that
something was going on, didn't you?
>> Yeah, I knew.
>> Hi, honey.
>> Please, please, please don't be mad at
me.
>> What? Why? Why would wait and see? Maybe
we will. Maybe we won't.
>> Okay. Okay. I went over to Ross's
apartment to bring back clunkers, you
know, for you. And I [clears throat]
left the door open and she must have
gotten out. And I looked everywhere all
over the apartment, including the roof,
which FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors
growing weed.
I couldn't find them. And I
[clears throat] am so so so
sorry. But I do know where we can all
go. EASE THE PAIN.
>> [laughter]
>> WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. LOOK WHO'S BACK.
>> HEY, [laughter]
LOOK. Oh my god.
>> That's right. She came back all by
herself. It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
[laughter]
>> It is so good to see you.
>> Yet, she came all the way back from
Ross's building. Oh, the things SHE MUST
HAVE SEEN.
>> [laughter]
>> AND THEN SHE CLIMBED UP the fire escape
and she tapped on the window with her
teeny little paw. And then we ran to let
her in. [laughter]
I went too far, didn't I?
>> Honey, you made the bed again. I told
you you don't have to do that. This
isn't camp.
>> Oh, then I guess the panty raid last
night was totally uncalled for.
[laughter]
Okay, I am going to take a shower and
today I will be singing Jim Crochy's
Leroy Brown.
Monica,
>> hey, I have a question. [laughter]
Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole
damn town or the fattest man in the
whole damn town?
>> Baddest. Otherwise, the song would be
fat fat. Leroy Brown,
>> what are you doing?
I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.
>> Are you remaking the bed?
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? The
way you did it, it was just fine.
>> Then you're redoing it because
>> if I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
>> You're pretty much running that risk
either way.
>> Okay. You see,
the debate tag shouldn't be at the top
left corner. It should be at the bottom
right corner.
>> Well, that's not so crazy.
>> I'm just easing you in.
>> All right.
>> All right. You see these little flower
blossoms? They should be facing up, not
down, because well, the head of the bed
is where the sun would be.
[laughter]
You don't love me anymore, do you?
>> Actually, if it's possible, I love you
more.
>> Really?
Wow. Well, then come on. I want to show
you how to fold a toilet paper into a
point.
>> Hey, I'm here.
>> Oh my god.
>> You like it?
>> Oh my god.
>> It's my new apothecary table. [laughter]
>> Rosie is going to be here any second.
She cannot see this.
>> Oh, why not? She'll She'll love it. It's
the real thing. I got it at Pottery
Barn. [laughter]
>> I know you did. I bought the same one.
And if she sees your table, she's going
to know that I lied to her. I told her
that ours was an original.
>> Why did you do that?
>> Because she hates Pottery Barn.
>> She hates Pottery Barn. [laughter]
>> I know. I know. She says it's all
mass-produced. Nothing is authentic. And
everyone winds up having the same stuff.
[laughter]
>> So, come on. She's going to be here any
second. Can we please just cover this up
with something, please?
>> What? No. No. I am not going to hide it
from Phoebe. Oh, although I did get some
great Pottery Barn sheets.
>> Oh. Oh, I forgot they made sheets.
>> Yeah,
[laughter]
I still can't believe she hates Pottery
Barn.
>> Ross, get over it. It's not like she
hates you.
>> Yeah, but Pottery Barn,
>> you know what? I think she's just She's
weird. You know, it's because she's a
twin. Twins are weird. [laughter]
>> Well, she's not weird. She just likes
her stuff to be one of a kind.
>> Huh?
>> You know what's not one of a kind? A
twin.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Oh, Phoebe's here. Okay. So, let's turn
out all the lights and we'll just watch
the movie.
>> Okay. Hey. Ooh, cool sheet.
>> Oh, you like it? You want to know where
I got it?
>> Sure. They got They GOT IT AT A FLEA
MARKET.
You bought your sheets at a flea market.
[laughter] Ross, come on. You got to
loosen the purse strings a little.
[laughter]
>> Hey babes, can you please not put your
feet up on my new
old sheet?
>> MY APOTHECARY TABLE.
>> WHAT? NO.
>> NO. ROSS, where did YOU GET THIS?
>> I GOT IT AT POTTERY BARN. OKAY.
OH MY GOD. Baby Pottery Barn has ripped
off the design OF OUR ANTIQUE.
>> WOW.
>> OH MY GOD. WELL, IF THEY'VE RIPPED OFF
OUR TABLE, ours must be worth much more
than $150.
>> Well, THIS DOESN'T EVEN SMELL like
opium.
>> Of course not. It smells like wine,
which you spilled. And thanks for
wrecking my sheet, by the way.
>> Oh, Ross, calm down. I'll give you the
80 cents.
She's asleep. That means we can uh
>> Yes, but we have to be fast.
>> Okay, I'll try.
>> And you can't make any noise.
>> Okay, I'll [laughter] try.
>> Hello, [crying]
Emma.
>> Hey. Hi.
How are you? How are you? Where are your
babysitters? Huh?
Why is the bedroom door closed?
[laughter]
>> You can't have sex when you're taking
care of the BA BIE.
>> Well, that was weird. You were loud and
I was fast.
>> [laughter]
>> I think you may have really done it this
time.
>> Or should I have to wait to take a
pregnancy test?
>> May want to get some more of those, too.
[laughter]
>> Where's Emma?
>> Oh my god. Where's Emma? Where's Emma?
>> Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling
you.
>> Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came
home early and picked up Emma. You go
look across the hall and and I'll call
herself.
>> Okay. Hey, you better hope that we're
pregnant because one way or another,
we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
>> All right, let's uh let's start with the
cons cuz they're more fun.
>> Rachel first.
>> I don't know. I mean, all right. I guess
you can say she's she's a little spoiled
sometimes.
>> You could say that. You know,
I guess, you know, sometimes she's she's
a little ditzy, you know, and I' I've
seen her be a little too into her looks,
but Oh, and like Julie and I, we have a
lot in common cuz we're both
paleontologists, right? But I mean,
Rachel's just a waitress.
>> Waitress.
Got it. You guys want to play Doom?
[laughter]
>> Or we can keep doing this.
[laughter]
>> What else?
I don't know.
Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.
[laughter]
>> Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with
her?
>> She's not Rachel.
>> Well, uh,
>> he broke up with Julie.
>> Well, go hug her for God's sakes.
>> Really? Really?
It's always been you, right?
God.
[applause]
>> Oh.
>> Oh.
Oh, this is good. This is really good.
>> I know. I know. It's It's almost
What do you say we go take a walk? Just
us, not them.
>> Let me get my coat.
>> Okay. No. Hey. Whoa. Whoa. I'll get your
coat.
>> Okay.
He's going to get my coat. He's going to
get my coat. Oh my god. [laughter]
This is unbelievable.
>> What's that?
>> What? Nothing.
What is that? It's on my name. What is
it?
>> No. No. See, see.
>> Hey, it's printing.
>> Hey, it's printing.
>> Well, what is it? Let me see.
>> Hey, someone order a coke.
>> Chandler wrote something about me on his
computer and he won't let me see.
>> He won't. He won't. He
>> Because Isn't that Isn't that the the
the the short story you were writing?
>> Yes. Yes, it is a short story that I was
writing
>> in a minute. Let me read it.
>> No,
>> come on.
>> Hey, uh why don't you read it to her?
[laughter]
>> All right.
[applause]
It was summer
and it was hot.
Rachel was there.
A lonely gray couch.
Oh, look. Cried Ned.
And then the kingdom was his forever.
The end.
That's it. That's all you wrote. You're
the worst WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
>> ALL RIGHT. All right. You know what?
This isn't funny anymore. There's
something about me on that piece of
paper, and I want to see it.
>> No, you don't.
>> All right. You know what? Fine. If you
guys want to be children about this,
that's fine. I do not need to see it.
What is this?
>> That is something that's
>> Ross. What is this?
>> Thank you. Well, good luck.
>> Okay, just just remember how crazy I am
about you. Okay.
>> Kind of ditsy. I'm too into her looks.
Spoiled.
>> Now that's a little spoiled. He was
supposed to type little the idiot.
just a waitress.
>> Now, that that was uh I mean, as opposed
to uh the um Okay, is is this over yet?
Ra,
>> I do not have chubby ankles. [laughter]
>> No, I
uh may I help you?
>> Yes. Hi. I talked to you on the phone.
I'm the lady who got stuck with the race
car bed.
>> Look, it's like I told you there's
nothing I can do. You signed for it.
Monica Felula Geller.
>> All right, Chester man. Look, we want to
see the king.
>> Nobody sees the king.
>> Okay, I'm talking to the king. Hey, you
can't go back there.
>> Oh my god.
Hey, watch it lady.
[laughter]
He good looking.
[laughter]
[laughter]
All right, I'll leave. My bed's so
boring.
Mona.
[laughter]
Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where
would I be?
I am so sorry. I spilled wine all over
your shirt.
>> Oh, it's okay.
>> No, it's still wet. You know what? Let
me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have
something you can wear.
Here.
>> Oh, [laughter]
I don't know if I want to wear a woman's
shirt.
No, no, that that's a man shirt.
>> Awfully pink.
[music]
[laughter]
>> OH. [laughter]
>> [laughter]
>> Oh my god, Ross.
>> Hello,
>> Ros. What are you doing?
>> Not touching myself, if that makes
anyone less uncomfortable. Well, I just
called Joshua.
>> Oh, how'd it go?
>> Well, I did my best to convince him that
I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to
get married and I'm just going through a
hard time. What'd he say?
>> Well, uh, his answering machine was very
understanding.
[laughter]
[snorts]
>> I feel blue.
>> Hey, you know what might cheer you up?
What?
>> You know, I got to tell you, this really
does put me in a better mood. [laughter]
I wish there was a job where I could
wear this all the time. [laughter]
Maybe someday there will be.
>> Oh god, that's Chandler. He's going to
come by and borrow some candles for his
big date.
>> Oh, okay.
>> No, no, Rachel, don't get it. See us.
>> No. Yeah, the groom cannot see the
bride. You're not going to marry
Chandler.
>> Not after this. [laughter]
>> Okay, guys, just relax.
>> I do.
>> I got to go.
>> Yeah. Well, that ought to do it.
>> Hello. One marriage, please.
>> Yep. We'd want to get married.
>> Well, there's a service in progress.
Have a seat.
>> All right.
>> What are you doing?
>> Oh, that's the wedding march. Does Does
that freak you out?
>> No, only because it's the graduation
song.
>> [laughter]
>> Okay,
this is it. We're going to get married.
>> Are you sure you want to do this?
>> HELLO, MRS. BROCK.
>> WELL, HELLO, MR. RACHEL.
>> WAIT. OKAY.
>> What's your name?
>> [laughter]
>> It's Jake.
>> Joey.
>> Hey, Jake. Uh, do you like the Knicks?
>> Yeah, big fan.
>> Me, too. There's a game on Tuesday.
>> You want to go?
>> Yeah, that'd be great. Let me make sure
I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
[laughter]
>> Pet.
>> Hey,
>> listen. You know how uh when you're
wearing pants and you lean forward, I
check out your underwear?
>> Yeah.
Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he
was wearing women's underwear.
>> I know. They were mine.
>> Oh,
no. No, wait. That's weird.
>> No, it's not. We were just goofing
around and I dared him to try them on.
>> That's weird.
>> I'm wearing his briefs right now.
>> That's kind of hot.
>> I think so, too. And that little flap is
great for holding my lipstick.
[applause]
[laughter]
>> Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.
>> And you know Jake says that women's
underwear is actually more comfortable
and he loves the way the silk feels
against his skin.
>> Yeah. Well, next thing you know, he'd be
telling you that your high heels are
good for his posture.
>> There is nothing wrong with Jake. Okay.
He is all man. I'm thinking even more
than you.
>> Oh, yeah. He look like a real lumberjack
in those pink laces.
>> I'm just saying that only a man
completely secure with his masculinity
could walk around in women's underwear.
I don't think you could ever do that.
>> Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.
>> Okay, whatever.
>> You've seen my huge stack of porn,
right?
>> Hey, fees. Hey,
>> check it out.
>> Huh?
[cheering]
>> Hi.
>> How much of a man am I?
>> Wow. Nice. Manly and also kind of a
[laughter]
>> You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake
was talking about.
>> The silk feels really good.
>> Yeah. And and things aren't as smashed
down as I thought they were going to be.
>> It's great, Joe.
>> Yeah. And you have so many more choices
than you do with men's underwear.
Bikini, French cut, thong, and and the
fabrics. You got cotton, silk, lace, and
you know what? I've always wondered
about
>> panty hoes. You know, the way they start
at your toe and then they go all the way
up to [laughter]
>> I should go take these off, shouldn't I?
>> I think it's important that you do.
Listen,
uh not that I'm insecure about my
manhood or anything, you know, but uh I
think I need to hook up with a woman
like right now.
>> Yeah, I understand.
>> Yeah. Okay.
>> Hey. Hi.
>> Hi.
>> You know, you look familiar. Do I know
you from somewhere?
>> I don't think so.
>> Maybe it's because I'm on television.
>> [laughter]
>> I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.
>> Wow.
>> Really?
>> Mhm.
>> 450, please.
>> Oh, let me get this.
[laughter]
>> These are for you.
>> This is us getting ready for the prom.
>> You know what, you guys? We don't have
to watch this.
>> Yeah, we do.
>> Fun. Smile.
>> Oh, Dad. Turn it off.
>> IT IS OFF.
>> DAD, IT IS NOT. WHAT'S WITH THE RED
LIGHT?
>> THAT'S THE OFF LIGHT.
>> RIGHT, BOSS.
[cheering]
[applause]
>> [laughter]
>> You look really pretty tonight.
>> Oh, thanks.
>> So, uh, what are you going to do this
summer?
>> Oh, you know, I'm just going to I'm
going to hang out, work on my music.
>> Does my hook unhook? These things keep
falling down. I can't.
[laughter]
>> Uh, hold. Let me see. I don't know. So,
what are you GOING TO DO?
>> NO, THE GUYS ARE here
>> this summer. Work on your music.
[laughter]
>> My own prom without a date. I can't.
It's too lame.
You know, if you're not going, then I
don't want to go either.
>> Oh, I'm going to kick Chip.
>> I have a wonderful idea. You should take
Rachel to the prom.
>> Doubtful. Jack, give me that. Talk to
your son.
>> This thing's heavy.
>> Your mother's right. Take her. She could
wear my tux.
>> Dad, she wouldn't want to go with me.
>> Of course she would. You're a college
man.
>> I don't know.
>> Come on. Don't you want to find out?
>> I can't believe I don't get to go to my
old prom. Is it so harsh?
Okay, hold my board.
>> A boy. At a board.
>> Okay, you guys. You know, I think we've
seen enough. Let's turn.
>> Okay, fine. Well, I'm not going to
watch. All right.
>> Come on, kid. Let's go.
>> Are you handsome?
>> Let's show him.
>> Just a sec, Dad.
Be cool. Just be cool.
Okay, Dad.
>> Rachel, ready or not, here comes your
night in shining.
>> Oh no.
>> BYE.
>> Oh dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
>> Press the button.
>> Which one? Which button, Jack?
>> The button. The button.
I can't believe you did that.
>> Yeah. Well,
>> [cheering]
[music]
>> Look at you. All sweet and innocent,
sleeping like an angel with them chubby
little hands wrapped around you.
[laughter]
It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.
[crying]
>> Step away from THE CRIB. I'M 11.
>> IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. RA, it's me. Put
down the scrunchie. [laughter]
>> What are you doing?
>> Well, I heard Emma stirring, so so I
came in to make sure she could reach
Hugsy.
>> Oh, thanks. All right. Well, now that
I'm up, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
>> Okay. There you go, sweetie.
This isn't over.
>> You already had it.
>> Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your
phone book and a bunch of people came,
but it took us so long to get you here
that they they had to leave.
>> We wanted to throw you a big surprise
and a great shower and and now you don't
have either.
>> We ruined everything.
>> Well, no, wait a minute. That's not
true. No, what you did that was really
sweet and it kind of works out for the
best.
>> What do you What do you mean? Well, now
I get to spend my shower with the only
people I really love. I mean, and I get
all those presents without having to
talk to a bunch of people I don't even
like.
>> Oh, surprise.
>> Monica,
>> you you've been quiet all morning. Is
everything okay?
>> Mhm.
>> You sure you're all right?
>> Yep.
>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab
us some breakfast.
>> FYI,
>> there it is.
>> In the future, when a girl asks for some
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
[laughter]
>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me
about last night. I was just trying to
do the right thing.
>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had
done the right thing, I would not have
woken up today feeling stupid and
embarrassed. I would have woken up
feeling comforted and satisfied.
[laughter]
>> Well,
>> oh, stop that.
>> I can't believe this. What? I I was just
being a good guy. I treated you with
with respect and understanding.
>> Oh, that is so hot.
>> Hey, I was looking out for you.
>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I
am a big girl. I don't need someone
telling me what is best for me.
>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of
times before. This is the worst ever.
>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very
good for me either.
>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know
what? You know what? To avoid this
little thing in the future, let's just
say you and me never having sex again.
>> What?
>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am
never having sex with you again.
[laughter]
>> Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
>> What's going on? Uh,
>> Phoebe's a porn star. [laughter]
>> What?
>> Phoebe Buffet in Buffet the vampire
layer.
>> My god,
>> that's Phoebe. Where did you get that?
>> Well, down at the adult video place on
Bleea. And And I saw Joey was about to
go in, so I ran in ahead of him to to
surprise him. And and then then I
pretended that I didn't know he was in
there. [laughter]
>> Wow. I mean, I just can't I can't
believe this, you know? I mean, you
think you know someone, even even
Phoebe, who's always been somewhat of a
question mark. [laughter]
>> This is so bizarre.
I guess it kind of makes sense, though.
She, you know, she had such a terrible
childhood.
>> I had a terrible childhood and I don't
do porn.
Yes, but you're dead inside.
>> Well, I better take that back.
>> Why? Why?
>> I can't wash that. I mean, that's
Phoebe.
>> Yeah, you're right. We can't We
shouldn't watch this.
>> Absolutely not.
>> Fo, maybe a little bit. How about just
the first half?
>> Hey, no. This is wrong, YOU GUYS.
PHOEBE'S OUR FRIEND. WELL, I'M not going
to watch it.
>> Yeah, good for you, Joe.
>> [laughter]
>> Ah, I thought I'd find you here. N
foratul.
[laughter]
Are you going to plunge your steak into
my dark places?
>> Actually, I was kind of hoping it would
be the other way around.
[laughter]
>> Hold on a second. What is that on her
ankle?
>> Her ankle is what you're watching.
>> Well, it's hard to tell.
[laughter]
>> Oh gosh, she just stopped moving.
>> Just doing her job. [laughter]
>> You sick bastard.
>> It's a tattoo. That's weird. Phoebe.
>> Oh,
>> wait. That's Ursula. That's not Phoebe.
That is Ursula.
>> I CAN WATCH THAT. REWIND IT. REWIND IT.
HEY. OH, what's up? OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I
DOING?
>> What are you? Hi.
[laughter]
>> Well, what are you doing here? I'm I'm
supposed to pick you up.
>> Change of plans. I made you a special
Valentine's dinner. Surprise.
>> Hi.
>> Oh, hey, Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel.
What's she doing here?
>> I have no idea.
[laughter] Um, I'll be watching TV if
anybody needs me.
>> Seriously, what is she doing?
>> Uh, you know, lately she just likes
hanging out here. [laughter]
>> Why?
>> I think she's lonely.
>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we
just ask her to go?
>> Well, no. No, she's way too emotional.
And by emotional, I mean crazy.
>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese
food.
>> Oh my god, she has food delivered here.
>> Yes, she's she's emotional but but
ballsy.
>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going
to get in my sweats and eat this in bed.
[laughter]
>> And you thought she was going to be in
our way. [laughter]
>> So, okay, why don't you uh open the
champagne and I will be right back. I've
got a surprise for you. You got another
ex-wife back there?
>> What am I sitting on?
>> Top of the world. Dock of the bay.
[laughter]
>> I'm out.
>> Oh, yeah. Wendy's. Oh,
>> all right. Whose are they?
>> Whose are they?
>> Not mine.
>> Well, they're Joey's. They got TO BE
JOEY'S. [laughter]
YEAH, THEY'RE MINE.
>> SEE, Joy's the Joey Joies.
>> Why are they here?
>> I don't know. Uh,
I'm Joey.
>> Yeah, I'm disgusting. I take my
underwear off in other people's homes.
>> Well, get him out of here. What's wrong
with you?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
TAKE THEM.
>> JOEY, you can touch them. They're your
underwear.
>> Chandana, a word.
>> That's it. I'm tired of covering for you
two. This has got to stop.
Ah!
Ooh, NICE.
My god.
[laughter]
>> What do you think you're doing?
>> Just washing the windshield.
>> There is no way I am letting you drive
this car. So, why don't you just hand
over the keys?
>> Oh, well, I do do not start this car.
>> [laughter]
>> Okay. Okay. I will give you 20 bucks if
you get out of this car right now.
[laughter]
>> Look, Ross, if you're so freaked out,
just get in the car
>> with you. Yeah, right.
>> All right.
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. [laughter]
>> What are you doing? Get in the front.
>> In the death seat.
>> Oh.
Fine, you can have the bath, but I am
taking your boat now. You're just a girl
in a tub.
[laughter]
>> Hey.
>> Hi, Bubbles. Manly.
>> Well, I just thought I would drop by and
let you know how it went with Joey.
>> You told her. [laughter]
>> She pulled it out of me. She's like a
conversational wizard. [laughter]
>> How did it go?
>> Well, you were wrong. He doesn't like
me.
>> What? Yeah. How would you like it if I
sent you to Lee Major's house and I told
you that he liked you and you went down
there and you found out that he didn't
like you? How would you feel?
[laughter]
>> I don't think I'd care. Really? Lee
Major is hot.
>> Hello.
>> We're in the bathroom.
[laughter]
>> Why?
>> Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable
time. [laughter]
>> What are you guys doing in here?
Oh my god. A friend he's looking at
differently,
but it's wrong. It's Rachel.
>> You like Rachel?
>> Hey, look. It's no big deal, okay?
Phoebe and I talked about it. It's just
a crush. It's going to go away. Dude,
you got to rearrange your bubbles. Whoa.
[laughter]
>> Hey. Hey. Hey.
>> Ros and I were looking for you. What are
we all doing in here?
>> [laughter]
>> Oh my.
Honey, cover it up with the vote.
[laughter]
Everybody else, finally, we can start
celebrating my
I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the
door to the past.
[music]
>> Okay. Uh, Monica. Man. Okay. What? What
you just saw?
>> Can I ask you just a little question?
Why tonight?
What? See, I've been waiting my whole
life to be engaged. And unlike some
people, I only planning on doing this
once.
So, you know, maybe this is selfish and
I'm sorry about it, but I I was kind of
hoping tonight could just be about that.
>> Oh, honey. But it is. No, it's not. No.
No. Now it's about you and Ross getting
back together.
>> What?
>> Yeah. Um, you kind of stole my thunder.
>> Okay. Ho ho. We did not steal your
thunder because we are not getting back
together.
>> Yeah. No. And and and you know what?
Nobody even saw.
>> Yeah,
>> that's true.
>> I swear we just kissed.
>> It was just a kiss.
>> You guys kissed.
>> WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
>> ARE YOU ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER?
CAN I sing at your wedding? [laughter]
>> Thunder being stolen.
>> Okay, come on, baby. It's nothing.
>> Let's not make a big deal out of this.
It was a onetime thing. It doesn't even
matter.
>> Oh my god.
[laughter]
I cannot believe you guys are talking
about this. The problems in the bedroom
are between a man and a woman.
>> All right. NOW, CHANDLER IS DOING THE
BEST HE CAN.
[applause]
>> Good job, Joe. Well done. Top notch.
>> You liked it? You really liked it? Oh,
yeah. [laughter]
Which part exactly?
>> The whole thing. Here we go.
>> No, no, no, no. Give me some specifics.
I love the specifics. The specifics were
the best part.
>> Hey, what about the scene with the
kangaroo? Did you Did you like that
part?
>> I was surprised to see a kangaroo
[laughter]
in a World War I epic.
You fell asleep.
There was no kangaroo. They didn't take
any of my suggestions.
[laughter]
[applause]
>> Thanks a lot for coming, buddy. See you
later.
>> Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Look,
this guy fell asleep. He fell asleep,
too. Be mad at him.
>> Hello.
Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens
cleaner. [laughter] Your battery. Okay,
>> Ross.
>> Hi.
>> Thank god you're here. You have to help
me. Were you just talking to yourself?
>> That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I
was.
>> So, when she came in, I got distracted
and totally forgot about the camera. It
kept rolling and recorded everything.
>> Yeah, we're going to need to see that
tape.
>> Wanted to
>> interesting.
>> [laughter]
>> Anyway,
um probably worked out for the best.
>> Yeah, sure.
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going
to see him kiss me.
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to
see why.
>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time
that I went backpacking through Western
Europe? [laughter]
>> [laughter]
>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.
>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross. [laughter]
>> What?
>> Now I'm so happy.
>> What are you talking about?
>> You use the Europe story.
>> That's the magic story you use when you
want to have sex. [laughter]
>> How do you know about that story? How do
you know about that story? [laughter]
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who
heard it from some guy.
>> Some guy. [cheering]
[applause]
>> No. No. She told me that his name was
Ken Adams. [cheering]
>> Jer, I saw what you were doing through
the window. I saw what YOU WERE DOING TO
MY SISTER. NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
[laughter]
LISTEN, we had a good run. You know,
what was it? Four, five months. I mean,
that's more than most people have in a
lifetime. So, goodbye. Take care.
Bye-bye then.
>> What are you doing?
>> Oh, I'm going on the lamb. [laughter]
>> Come on, Chandler. Come on. I can handle
Ross.
Hold on.
>> Hey, Ross. What's up, bro? [laughter]
What
the HELL ARE YOU DOING?
>> OKAY. What's What's going on?
>> Well, I think I think Ross knows about
me and Monica. [laughter]
>> Dude, he's right there.
[laughter]
>> I thought you were my BEST FRIEND. THIS
IS MY SISTER. My best friend. And my
sister. I I cannot believe this.
>> Look, we're not just messing around. I
love her, okay? I'm in love with her.
I'm so sorry that you had to find out
this way.
Sorry, but it's true. I I love him, too.
>> My best friend and my sister.
>> Hey, Rachel. Somebody got your shoes.
Oh, give me
[screaming]
>> Oh my god.
Oh, these are my rat babies. [laughter]
>> Yeah, we have rat babies now.
>> You brought rats to my birthday party.
So, this is what a stroke feels like.
[laughter]
>> I had to bring them. We killed their
mother. They're our responsibility now.
You know, they require constant care.
You should know that, Rachel. You're a
mother.
>> Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
>> No. Seven rats.
[laughter]
>> I think we should take them home. We
need to feed them. Why? You're going to
leave my party to take care of a box of
rats. Well, I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm
not like you, okay? Not everyone can
afford health.
[music]
>> Got to go. Miss you, too. I love you,
but it's getting real late now.
>> Hey, ma. Listen. I made the appointment
with Dr. Baza, and
>> Excuse me.
>> Did you know this isn't ma? [laughter]
Her name's Ronnie.
She's a pet mortician. Sure. [laughter]
>> So, how long you've been?
>> Remember when you were a little kid? I
used to take you to the Navyyard and
show you the big ships
>> since then.
>> No, it's only been 6 years.
>> I just wanted to put a nice memory in
your head so you'd know that I wasn't
always such a terrible guy.
Joe, you ever been in love?
I don't know.
>> Then you haven't. You're burning your
tomatoes. Huh?
>> You'll want to talk.
>> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And
the worst part of it is it's with two
different women.
>> Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is
Ma.
>> Of course. Of course. One of them is ma.
What's the matter with you?
>> Good one.
>> Hey, Joe. Dad. Ronnie's here. Huh? Hi.
>> Hey.
>> Hey.
>> Hello, babe. [laughter] Uh, what what
are you doing here?
>> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at
my apartment. I figured you need it
tomorrow for your meeting. [laughter]
>> Thank you. Um,
>> so, who's up for a big game of Kplunk?
[laughter]
>> Look, I uh I I shouldn't have come. I I
better get going. I don't want to miss
the last train.
>> No, no, hun. I I don't want you taking
that thing to swing this.
>> Oh, where am I going to stay? Here.
>> Wo ho.
>> We'll go to a hotel.
>> Go to a hotel.
>> No, you won't.
>> No, we won't.
>> If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing
stuff. I want you right here where I can
keep an eye on you.
>> You're going to keep an eye on us.
>> That's right, mister. And I don't care
how old you are. As long as you're under
my roof, you're going to live by my
rule.
>> What is that?
>> I think it's the dying cat parade.
>> Sounds like it's coming from across the
street.
>> Oh my god.
>> What?
>> You know that thing that Ross was going
to do at our wedding? He was hanging out
with me yesterday and he turned to me
and he said, "You're half Scottish,
right?"
>> No. There is no way to not [laughter] be
Ross. [music]
>> Why is your family Scottish?
>> Why is your family Ross?
>> You cannot play our wedding. I mean,
everyone will leave. I mean, come on.
That is just noise.
It's not even a song.
If
>> you listen very carefully, I think
it's Celebration by Cool in the Gang.
>> Well, I feel like a snack.
>> Do you want some shortbread? It's
Scottish like you are.
>> Oh, no thanks. I don't like anything
from my Scottish heritage. What?
[laughter]
Well, just my entire family was run out
of Scotland by
Vikings.
>> Well, it sounds to me like your family
is ready to uh rediscover its Scottish
roots.
>> You can't play bag pipes at the wedding.
[laughter]
>> How did you know about that?
>> We heard you play all the way from your
apartment.
>> Were you the ones who called the cops?
>> Hello?
Hello,
[laughter]
>> baby.
>> Joey, what's going on?
>> What?
>> Oh my god.
>> I know. It's stuck.
>> STEP. HOW DID IT GET ON?
>> I put it on to scare Chandler.
>> Oh my god. Monica's going to totally
freak out. Well, THEN HELP ME GET IT
OFF. PLUS, WELL, it smells really bad in
here.
>> Of course it smells really bad. You have
your head up a dead animal.
>> Oh,
[laughter]
hey.
>> Hey, did you get the turkey, B? OH MY
GOD. OH MY GOD.
>> Who is that?
>> It's Joey. [laughter]
>> What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THIS
supposed to be funny?
>> No, it's not supposed to be funny. It's
supposed to be scary.
[laughter]
>> Get that OFF NOW.
>> I CAN'T. It's stuck.
>> I DON'T CARE THAT THAT TURKEY has to
feed 20 people at my parents house and
they're not going to eat it off your
head. [laughter]
>> Hold on. Okay, let's just I'll think.
Wait for me.
>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
Okay,
>> a mistake. What were you trying to put
it in? her purse.
[laughter]
>> Where? Where did he put it?
>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong
because my fingernails did not grow at
all yesterday.
>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and
he got drunk.
>> Oh, you guys knew about nothing and you
didn't tell us.
>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.
>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get
out of here. Just get out.
>> No, I know. I want to stay. I want to
talk about this.
>> Okay. All right. How was she?
>> Uhoh.
[laughter]
>> What
>> was she good?
>> Don't answer that. [laughter]
>> I know. She said you wanted to talk
about it. Let's talk about it. How was
she?
>> She was awful.
>> She was not good. Not good. Didn't
compare to you.
She She was different. Oh.
>> Uhoh.
>> Good. Different.
>> Nobody likes change.
[laughter]
>> Should we do something?
>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
[laughter]
>> I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was
disgusted with myself and then this
morning I was so I was I was so upset
and then I got your message and I was so
happy and all I wanted was to get her
out of my apartment as fast as possible.
>> What time did your little friend leave?
>> Oh my god. She was there.
>> She was still there. She was in there
WHEN I WAS IN THERE.
ask you.
>> Listen. Oh, hey. Hey, the important
thing is she meant she meant nothing to
me.
>> And yet, SHE WAS WORTH JEOPARDIZING OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
>> LOOK, I didn't think there was a
relationship to jeopardize. I thought we
were broken up.
>> We were on a break.
>> That, for all I knew, could last
forever. That to me is a break up.
>> You think you're going to get out of
this on a technicality?
>> I'm not trying to get out of anything,
okay? I thought our relationship was
dead. Well, you sure had a hell of a
time at the wake.
>> You know what? I don't think we should
listen to this anymore.
>> What are you doing? I can't go out
there.
>> Why not? I'm hungry.
[laughter]
>> Because they'll know we've been
listening. God, I'd have to hear about
it from Gunther.
>> Come on. Like I wanted him to tell you,
I ran all over the place trying to make
sure that didn't happen.
>> Oh, that is so sweet.
I think I'm falling in love with you all
over again.
>> You know what? I think we can go out
there. I mean, they have more important
things to worry about.
>> Yeah, we'll be fine.
>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I
thought I should. I I did. And then
Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[laughter]
>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.
Related Songs