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Translate:
Good Tea Party morning,
everyone!
Peter, you joined
the Tea Party?!
That's right, Brian.
I finally got something
better to do
with my Saturdays
than sit at the mall
and watch Japanese girls
laugh at normal conversation.
So, I drove to work
this morning...
(all giggling)
And I had to stop
for coffee.
(all giggling)
So, there's a Starbucks
near my house.
(all laughing)
You people
are a circus.
Finally, I'm part of
a movement of regular people
trying to take back
our government.
Look, the Tea Party isn't
the grassroots movement
you think it is.
It's actually funded
by Big Business types
who are using you to get
the government out of their way
so they can roll over
everyone.
Mom held hands with a woman
at the gas station this morning.
Don't know what that means.
Just reporting it.
All I'm saying is
you're being used
and you're too clueless
to know it.
Boy, you just think
you're so superior, don't you?
Like that first creature
to walk on dry land.
Hey, where'd you go?
Ah, I went for a jog.
What's a jog?
It's a great way to stay
in shape is what it is.
Is it like a swim?
(laughing condescendingly)
No, no, it's, it's
nothing like a swim.
Wow, a lot of people here today.
Yeah. Man,
I love street fairs.
They got rides, games,
and ethnic food cooked horribly
by white Americans.
Tack-os!
Hot tack-os here!
Oh, are those tack-os?
You better believe
they're tack-os.
I love tack-os!
Especially on a
corn tor-tilla.
Oh! I love tack-os
on a corn tor-tilla!
Boy, they're really
against socialism.
That's right. The Tea Party
is all about self-reliance.
Look, there's even
a Tunnel of Self-Love.
Would you like to buy a photo
of yourself on the ride, sir?
No, I would not.
Welcome, everyone!
It's great to see
so many regular people out here.
Folks who are tired
of big government
and are ready to stand up
for their rights.
Yeah!
Down with
the Spend-o-crats!
PETER:
We are Marshall!
And now, it's my privilege
to introduce another regular,
blue-collar guy,
our Quahog chapter spokesman:
Joe Workingman!
(cheering and applause)
Good afternoon, friends
and socioeconomic equals!
Is anyone else out there
sick of government crap?
Oh, my God.
It's like he's saying everything
I'm listening to.
That's right.
The government wants to tell you
what foods to eat.
(booing)
And what church
you can go to.
(booing)
And that you can't
own a chimpanzee
because you're not
responsible enough.
(booing)
I would feed it!
Also, the government
wants to tell you
how many children
you can have.
What?! No!
And the government
wants to tell you
you can't throw
your old TVs into the river.
Then how I supposed
to find TV?
If you join the Tea Party,
together, we can fix all that.
But you probably don't wanna
join the Tea Party
because all you get are these
stupid, awesome keychains!
Oh, my God, it's the keychain
from the dream!
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