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[Music]
Haven't you heard? Snipes posting the
test scores. I wonder who will have the
top score.
Like it could be anybody but you,
Cassandra.
>> Brains and looks. How do I do it?
>> Woohoo! I didn't fail the math test.
Margo, 23 is an F. Never was good with
numbers.
>> Hey,
no way.
Harvey got 97 and I got 96.
How dare he get a better grade than me?
>> That's so not fair. Tragic, even.
>> It doesn't add up.
>> Well, yeah, but we still ought to be
happy for Harvey. Am I right?
I hear he cheated on the test. Cheated?
Really?
>> That's so unlike Harvey.
>> I can't wait to tell Rachel.
>> I'll tell Millie to tell Liz after she
tells Tabitha not to tell Sally.
>> You got to be kidding, Cassandra, not
Harvey. Well, that's what they say. And
why would they say it if it wasn't true?
>> Oh, yeah. Why would they
>> want to hear what I heard?
>> Harvey totally cheated on the math test.
>> Stole all the answers. Used dynamite to
blast a hole in the school wall. broke
into Snip's office in the middle of the
night.
>> Tiffany, did you hear? The cops are
looking for Harvey and so is the FBI,
CIA, PTA, and the Bulgarian secret
police. Where'd you hear that?
>> Hey, Bina, how did you do on the math
test?
>> Not as well as Harvey.
>> Yeah, but didn't you hear? He cheated.
>> Yeah, I heard that, too. The whole
school's talking about it.
>> I guess they can't all be wrong.
>> Oh, sure. Keep the cat waiting. His
needs are unimportant. Where is she?
It's 3 minutes past my snack time. Oh,
I'm wasting away before my eyes.
Practically all fur and bones.
Yes. Not a moment too soon.
>> Hi, Sabrina.
>> Roll already. Huh?
>> Yeah.
>> What are you talking about?
>> It's not fair to the rest of us when you
cheat on tests.
>> What? Where'd you hear that?
>> It's what they say.
>> Who's they?
>> You know them? Those that say things?
>> H.
And you believe them without asking me?
Well, they are in the majority.
>> Thanks a lot, Sabrina.
>> Harvey, why are you mad at me?
>> Maybe because you were repeating rumors
you shouldn't have.
>> Hey, everybody was saying it.
>> Everybody?
What do they know? That's how rumors
work. Enough people spread them. Nobody
knows what's true and what's not. You
hear a rumor, Brea, you squash it. You
don't and they take over.
Be sure what you say is the truth and
nothing but. Remember, the truth will
set you free.
>> You're right, Salem. What should I do?
>> First thing tomorrow morning, you're
going to apologize. Now, let's practice
begging forgiveness while you get my
treat.
[Music]
Sabrina looks so good today.
>> Her hair is so gorgeous.
>> Of course, you know she dyes it.
>> You don't say.
>> She just did.
You believe what I just hear. She She
dies her hair. I know. I can't believe
[Music]
>> Harvey.
>> I heard You heard what?
>> You had a total hair transplant, but
your scalp rejected it. So, you had a
plastic wig implanted in your head.
>> You can hardly tell it's fake. Can I
touch it? Seems almost real.
>> It is real. I can't believe you believe
that.
>> Well, for the record, I think your hair
looks very natural.
>> It is natural.
>> Oh, right. Why would anybody say such a
thing? I don't understand.
>> Sabrina, there's only one sort of person
who starts a rumor, and that's a very
unhappy person who wants others to be as
unhappy as they are.
>> But I don't get it. Why? How? Where do
rumors come from?
>> From the rumor mill.
>> Yeah, right. Uh-huh.
I'm totally serious. So are we. Totally.
It's in the gray area, Sabrina, in the
Nether World. A very old mill that makes
rumors. We tried to get it shut down for
years, but it keeps cranking them out.
>> Is there any way to stop a rumor?
>> Only with the truth. The truth will set
you free.
>> Gee, where did you hear that before?
[Music]
Did you hear about Marita?
>> Her parents are immigrants from outer
space.
>> That's what they say. Time to find out
who this they is.
>> I heard it from Glattus.
>> Elwood told me.
>> Sally said it. It's got to be true.
Cassandra told me it was.
>> You started spreading all these rumors.
You went to the rumor mill, didn't you?
>> Me spread rumors? How sad is that? I've
never even heard of a rumor mill.
>> Oh, okay. If you say so.
>> Sabrina's been weird since her twin
sister was sent to reform school. Maybe
it's time Cassandra got a taste of her
own medicine.
[Music]
A
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
the rumor mill. I'm going to teach
Cassandra a lesson she'll never forget.
>> Hello.
>> What do you want?
>> Do you work here?
>> Why? Hi. What have you heard? I I'm the
keeper of the mill and I'm the one who
makes this place run.
Don't touch that. Do you want to start a
rumor?
>> Well, yeah, I do. Sort of. Just one
harmless rumor.
>> What do you mean harmless? There's no
such thing as a harmless rumor.
>> Come here. Let me show you something.
What are those things?
>> Big ones and little ones and long ones
and short ones. Spicy, dicey, not very
nicey ones. Young ones, old ones, hot
and cold ones.
>> Why are they in there?
>> Well, you got to put them somewhere.
They get out. They spread like wildfire.
>> Why do you keep them?
>> I got no choice. Rumors live forever.
People start rumors, but they don't take
responsibility for them. So, I'm stuck
with them. Rumor mill? What's that?
Where? Well, I'll be right there.
I got a rumor gone bad. Out of control.
Feel free to look around, but don't
touch anything. Especially not that
there.
Couldn't
hurt to start just one little rumor.
Only one.
[Music]
Did you hear Cassandra lies about her
age?
>> You don't say.
>> Just a rumor.
>> How perfect is that?
Maybe just one more quick one.
[Music]
>> You hear the 411? Cassandra has a birth
mark shaped like an Irish setter and an
Irish setter shaped like a birth mark.
>> No,
>> that's what they say. Cassandra was
raised by wolves.
This I got to see.
>> Come on, fellow rumors. We got the
threatening to do.
>> Sabrina,
>> did you hear? Hear what?
>> Cassandra's flunking out of PE.
>> And you won't believe what kind of
birthmark she has. I'll give you a clue.
I do not have false teeth.
If you had anything to do with this,
>> Cassandra, do you think I would spread a
rumor? How sad is that?
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Switch to ugly rumors.
I got a nasty one. So do all of us. What
are we waiting for? Let's spread some
dirt.
[Applause]
[Music]
So, you think I dress like a colorblind
clown,
>> but I and I dance like a two-legged cow,
>> but I
behind my back.
>> Why are you getting rid of me and
getting a dog?
>> Hold on a minute. I don't know where you
heard any of this, but they're just
rumors.
>> My heavens. What's going on?
>> What are those things? More important,
do they eat cats?
>> Rumors. Ugly ones, too. Looks like the
rumor mill's been working overtime.
>> Oh, no. Sabrina, you didn't. Did you?
>> She did.
>> Did you hear? Salem said Hilda's got the
world's baddest breath.
>> I meowed no such thing.
>> Zelda can't stand Hilda's meatloaf.
>> That's not true. I think your loaf is
very tender.
>> Sabrina,
>> hey, you're the one who set us free. Let
me thank you by giving you some inside
dish. There's something big going on
over at the mall.
>> What? What do you mean?
>> Hey, I don't know. Just a rumor.
>> The mall.
[Music]
>> My uncle is not a vampire. Matter of
fact, my mother does wear army roots,
but she does not have a beard.
>> People, don't believe anything you hear.
They're just rumors.
>> How do we know that's true?
>> Yeah, maybe it's just a rumor.
>> If we don't get rid of them, they're
going to take over.
>> Now she gets it.
>> Roses are red, violets are blue, rumors
get spread. Who cares if they're true?
Hey everybody over here.
>> Where are we?
>> Can't see my hand in front of my face.
That's my face.
>> At least we got away from those things.
Uhhuh. Now don't go starting rumors.
A
rumor has it Harvey's going to get
dumped in a big fat of mustard.
>> Somebody help me.
>> No, I I'm a ketchup man. I I'm Djon
intolerant. I'm a teen, not a wumor
[Applause]
has it Margo's next.
>> No, I can't wear yellow. I'm a winter.
[Music]
>> Margo totally struck down by a spicy
golden condiment. Injustice. Thy name is
Mustard. This is all our fault,
Cassandra.
You mean your fault. I only let one
rumor out of that awful mill.
>> So, you did go down there.
No, I mean that's just a rumor.
>> Cassandra, we're the only ones who can
fix this. Will you help?
>> Not you, too, Tiffany.
>> I could be next.
What are we going to do?
Only one thing to do.
We really need your help.
>> I'm the one who needs help. But I don't
need it from you. You You've done
enough.
>> I want to make things right, but I don't
know how.
>> Now you see how hard it is to squelch a
rumor.
>> But there's got to be something we can
do.
>> Well, there is one person who might
help.
the professor. But he's not easy to
find. He lives deep in the dark heart of
the gray area.
[Music]
Professor
PT Dioynes, PhD DDS FYI IOU, Doctor of
Physology and Physiology, board
certified and board fortune teller,
master mechanic, and gray area cana
champion. What can I do for you?
>> We're here about rumors.
[Music]
>> Artist John's triedand-true rumor
remover. Rejuvenates the truth,
revitalizes friendships, or double your
money back, less twice the deposit.
Clears rumors so fast, nobody will
remember they were ever there. That's
how good it is.
>> How much does it cost? We're on a
budget.
>> Today, I'm running a special. I'll let
it go for a mere 40 Netherworld credits.
>> A
Okay.
[Applause]
>> Come on, folks. Everybody sing with me.
Rumors rule. Rumors rule. Spread them at
the mall and spread them at the school.
[Applause]
[Music]
>> Look what she has. Rumor remover. Stop
her. Stop that girl.
[Music]
>> Over here. Sabrina. Ali. The goo.
[Music]
It's stuck.
>> Oh,
Cassandra. Alio.
>> No time to dodaw, Sabrina. Put a little
elbow grease in it. I got rumors
hounding me.
>> There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Uh, no offensive.
>> None. taken. Just do it.
>> It didn't work.
>> They're too powerful. What do we do now?
>> Rumor has it you're going to get a bath
in the ketchup bag.
[Music]
>> Remember, Brea, only one thing will set
you free.
You're not true.
>> What?
>> You're nothing but lies.
>> Don't say that.
>> We're sensitive.
>> Cassandra, it looks like they don't like
to be faced with the truth.
>> You're a pack of lies.
[Music]
[Applause]
Looks like the truth set us free. I wish
you'd figured that out before we blew 40
credits.
>> But what about uh them?
>> Maybe they don't have to know the whole
truth.
[Music]
Hey, Brina.
>> You're sure they won't remember?
>> Sabrina Cassandra, I got the funniest
idea stuck in my head about you two
doing some kind of crazy magic. And Huh?
Oh, Harvey, you're not trying to spread
a rumor, are you?
[Music]
>> Sabrina, hurry up.
We'll be late for math. What's the hold
up?
>> It's my hair. It's a disaster.
>> You're like so vain about that hair. How
bad can it be?
>> Oh,
>> that does it. Nobody else sees me like
this.
Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.
Wait. I can fix it.
>> Oh, yeah. Like how?
Ow. Not so tight.
>> All clear. Come on. Your hair looks
fine.
>> You kidding? I look like I should be
yodelling in the Alps.
[Music]
[Music]
Hey. Ow, that hurt. Oh, hi Sabrina.
[Music]
>> That's a weird way to read.
>> You think? My hair looks awful and I
don't want you to see it.
>> Come on. Let me see. Aw, I bet it's not
that bad.
[Music]
>> See, you look great.
Anyway, you shouldn't obsess about your
looks. I think vanity is a sin or
something.
>> I really look okay.
>> Yeah, you look just like my old cocker
spaniel. I loved her.
>> Ow.
Did I say something wrong?
Sabrina, you know the dress code. No
hats in class.
>> I know you heard me, Sabrina. No hats in
class.
>> Is someone wearing a hat?
[Music]
M.
Oh,
[Music]
let's try this formula next.
>> Yeah, that last one smelled like a
funeral home. I told you too much
formaldahhide.
>> Hey, making shampoo is an art, not a
science.
>> Ouch.
>> Um, should look nice with your yellow
shirt.
[Music]
Oh.
[Music]
Go fetch you pathetic zombies. Get a
life.
>> So, what's the deal with this Madame
Medusa's trust hammer? Sounds like just
the thing I need.
>> I don't think so.
>> You thought so down there. I heard you.
>> How? Your ears were full of pineapple
chunks.
I've just had my hair washed and enough
organic food products to stock the
school salad bar for a week. So, don't
mess with me.
>> Okay. Okay. Just look on page 743 of
your spell book.
>> It's magic.
[Music]
>> Yeah. Which is why Hilda and Zelda don't
want you using it.
Pathetic.
There's a minor rule which you may
recall. No using magic at mortal school
for personal gain.
>> Here it is. Tangled and snarly, knotted
and gnarly. If great hair is your aim,
those wild locks you must tame.
>> Hey, put that back on.
Are you a supernatural being on the go?
>> Yes, yes, and yes.
>> Then Madame Medadusa's Tres Tamer is for
you. Sabrina, just follow the easy to
use instructions and remember, no water.
>> Wow. You mean I don't need water?
>> No, I mean once you've started using
Madame Medadusas, you have to avoid
water at all cost. Water will make it
stop working forever.
>> You hear me? No water. Not on your head
or anywhere. Don't wash. Have you got
it?
>> I got it. I got it.
[Music]
>> Okay, here goes.
[Music]
What's burning?
[Music]
Oh my gosh, it's me.
[Music]
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Sabrina, you look fabulous.
Why, thank you, Marita.
I hate to admit it, but Sabrina's hair
looks great. I can't believe you just
said that.
>> And I can't believe I agree with you.
[Music]
[Music]
Sabrina, can I get a picture?
>> A picture of me, little old me?
>> Yeah. The yearbook staff just took a
vote. You not only win this year's best
hair, you win best hair that ever was
and ever will be. So, why don't the rest
of us just give up and shave our heads?
>> That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. More.
More. Now, less. Good. Great. Super.
Awesome.
>> I can't believe this.
>> Oh, Sabrina, look out.
[Music]
Gross.
[Applause]
>> Thank you. Thank you. Wow. I could get
used to this. I've never been woripped
for my looks before.
[Music]
Hi, Bina.
Hey.
Huh?
[Music]
[Applause]
Out of my way. You're stupid. You got to
get away from here.
[Music]
Wo wo
wo.
[Music]
Oh.
[Music]
H.
[Music]
This not washing isn't so bad.
[Music]
[Music]
Sabrina.
I need a really big favor. I have to
make up the swim test I missed and I
need somebody to be my buddy.
>> You mean like actually get in the pool?
>> Miss McGrun will give us late passes to
math. Please,
>> Marita, I'd like to help, but I just did
my hair.
>> Well, but couldn't you just do it again?
>> I don't know. I mean, it looks so good
now. And
>> oh, just forget it. You know what? As a
friend, you stink.
>> Don't get mad. I could help with a a
soccer test or bowling.
So, this is your secret, huh?
[Music]
Hey,
couldn't you at least shower at night?
Your friends won't see your hair and I'd
be able to breathe.
>> Didn't you hear the guy? Once I start, I
can't wash or the trust tamer will stop
working. Look, it says so on the bottle.
Oh no, it's not in here.
You mean you'll have to stop using it?
Oh, darn. What a shame. Uh-oh.
I know I had it after gym class. Ow.
Hey,
>> I should have known.
[Applause]
>> Admit it. You stole it.
Crack a window, will you?
>> You just had to have hair like mine,
didn't you?
>> Oh, right. Like I want to look like you.
I don't think so.
>> So, what' you do with it?
>> You'll see.
>> You You didn't give it to mortals, did
you?
>> So, what? What could possibly happen?
Some for you and some for me. It's like
I just can't wait to see how fabulous
our hair is going to be in like a few
seconds. Crunchy.
Chewy.
Woo.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I hope we're not too late.
>> I still don't see what the big deal is.
>> Did you read the fine print? Warning.
All effects will be the opposite if used
by mortals.
>> The opposite? What does that mean?
[Music]
>> I'm sorry, but werewolves are so not the
opposite of good hair.
>> Don't tell me. Tell Madame Medusa.
>> P you. This garbage is nasty. Actually,
it smells better than you do.
>> Thanks.
>> At the mall, werewolves go shopping.
>> These aren't ordinary werewolves.
They're Tiffany and Margot.
[Applause]
[Music]
A Tiff's been wanting those jeans
forever.
[Music]
>> I hate to waste such a cute top as bait,
but anything less choice might not do
the trick. Shh, here comes one.
[Applause]
I really hope that's Tiffany. Why? She's
got much better taste than Margo.
I I didn't mean it. You've perfected a
look which is uniquely you.
Although I thought that outfit you wore
yesterday was pretty rank.
[Music]
Wow. Cassandra, help.
>> If I help you, who's going to help me?
[Music]
>> Cassandra, go right. Go right. If you
say so.
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
Your hair still looks great. Of course.
>> Yeah, I'm starting to wonder if it's
worth it. And I still think that outfit
looked bad.
>> Go ahead and howl. It won't do you any
good.
>> Gee, if I didn't know better, I think
that sounded like more werewolves.
>> Um, Sabrina, I probably should have told
you.
>> What now?
Well,
I I thought it'd be funny if a lot of
people showed up at school with hair as
good as yours.
And
Tiffany and Margot weren't the only ones
I gave the Tres.
What?
[Music]
[Music]
It's times like this I really wish I had
my broom.
>> I thought you might feel that way.
>> Salem, how do you find us?
>> I followed the smell.
girls. Um,
>> Cassandra, let's go. No way I'm riding
with that hairball.
>> Suit yourself. Enjoy the picnic. Oops, I
forgot. You are the picnic.
>> Wait, don't leave me.
[Music]
We made it.
>> Yeah, but we can't leave them like this.
They're our friends.
>> Wo!
>> Sabrina, what are you doing?
>> Actually, we're going to swoop down and
get them to chase us.
Are you nuts?
[Music]
Now where
>> the high school and don't lose them.
[Music]
[Music]
>> Thanks Salem. See you at home.
Perfect. Oh, yeah. I'd much rather be
eaten here.
[Music]
>> You do have a plan, right?
>> Yeah.
Just checking.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
What are we doing here?
>> You were all sleepwalking.
>> We were?
Yeah. We must have had something to do
with the full moon. Weird, huh? Huh?
Sabrina, your hair.
Yeah, it's a mess. I guess some vain
girls would obsess about things like
their hair.
>> Actually, I like it this way. Reminds me
of
>> Yeah, I know. Your cocker spaniel.
Thanks.
How sweet. How'd your swim test go?
>> I'm doing it tomorrow. Couldn't find a
buddy.
>> I'll be your buddy if you want me to.
That is.
>> That'd be great. You want to come over?
We could finish our homework together.
>> Nah, I'm heading home. I really want to
take a shower.
>> Salem.
Salem.
>> My sleep should be thought of as sacred.
Salem, have you seen my clean laundry?
>> Yes, and it was quite comfortable. Thank
you.
>> If you're sleeping in my clean clothes
again,
>> you'll never know.
Ruffled clothes offend the eye. Quickly
wash and quicker dry.
[Music]
Wait, stop. No shrinking.
>> What's that?
[Music]
>> Salem.
>> H. Yes. Uh, problem, Sabrina. You sound
uh concerned.
>> No, I just need my favorite jeans.
They're perfect for a bike ride with
Harvey. As long as they're not covered
in cat hair.
Huh?
What's wrong with my jeans? What's wrong
with me?
I'm fat.
Oh my gosh. School pictures are this
week. I can't have my picture taken like
this.
Don't panic, Sabrina. There's time to
lose the weight. I just have to get
serious.
[Music]
Hey, Sabrina, slow down. My cramps are
getting cramps.
>> Come on, Harvey. There'll be plenty of
time to rest later, like next Tuesday.
>> I don't think I'm going to make it to
next Tuesday.
Hey.
Oh man, the chain came off.
>> Here, let me help you. Can't waste time
resting, you know.
>> Gosh, Sabrina, what's with all this
exercise all of a sudden?
>> I want to lose some weight for school
pictures this week.
>> H what for? They only take a picture of
your face. So, you're saying I really do
need to lose weight?
>> No. No. I'm saying you don't need to
bother
>> because I'm already hopeless. I'm a lost
cause. I'm fat. Is that what you're
saying?
>> No. I'm saying I'm trying to say my bike
lost its chain.
>> Huh?
[Music]
>> Well, some of us have weight to lose.
wrist weights, Sabrina, and the ankle
weights and the sweatb band.
It's also 1988 gym class. Well, you
know, school pictures are coming up this
week. Oh my gosh, school pictures. All
my best tops are at the cleaners. My
hairdresser is in Aruba. This is a
crisis.
>> You're not kidding. The only good thing
about this week is that Mr. Snipe has
gone to some Netherworld conference.
[Music]
Today we're going to learn about the art
of thury.
Our first experiment will deal with
creating light. We begin with a dash of
extract of firefly.
I wonder if Cassandra thinks I look fat.
>> Next, add a pinch of dried purple
fireweed.
that Miss Mcgrron thinks I do.
>> Now, put in one small lump of cave giant
bichumin and grind well.
>> Wish I could just grind the pounds away.
Why does losing weight have to be so
hard?
>> That should be sufficient, girls. Uh,
Sabrina. Sabrina.
>> Uh, what?
>> Grinding time is over. You may add a
pinch of sunflower pollen now.
Wow.
[Music]
Sometimes you have to jumpst start the
magic with a nudge from your wand.
>> Like this.
>> Sabrina,
see me after school.
>> Yes, Miss McGrun.
[Music]
Now class, with Mr. Snipe gone, it's
been a long enough day for me already. I
want each of you to carefully add the
catalysts in your test tubes to your
flask. Observe the reaction.
>> Oh,
>> hey.
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
Why isn't this working?
Miss McRooney did say sometimes things
need a little jump start.
>> Oh no, what's happening?
Whoa,
>> Miss McRoon over here.
[Music]
>> Sabrina, I should have known. Quit now,
class. Everybody out. This is not a
drill.
>> I saw that little trick with the wand.
Spellman,
>> keep moving. Keep moving.
[Music]
Sabrina, I want to
>> see me after school. Yes, ma'am. I bet
you do.
[Music]
So, I have to work in the cafeteria for
the next few days for detention.
>> I got cafeteria detention once. I left
my dirty gym socks in my locker too
long. Pretty soon, they were trying to
destroy Tokyo. You were scrubbing pots
for weeks. You didn't just get dishpan
hands. You got dish pan everything.
Sabrina, sweetie, you didn't eat your
dinner. Yes, I did. I'm full. I just
can't eat. Full on three green beans and
a baby carrot.
>> Sweetie, the parsley was the garnish,
not the whole meal.
Well, waist not whatn not.
>> School pictures are this week. I want to
look my best.
>> Sabrina, you already do look your best.
You know how important it is to eat a
balanced diet. Well, Sabrina, just
promise us you'll eat healthy from now
on. Deal?
>> Oh, don't worry. Oh, is that the time?
I'd love to stay and talk about food,
but I got to go.
>> Well, I don't like it. She's starving
herself to lose some imaginary weight. I
remember doing the same thing when I was
her age.
Not me. I got sent to General Cheese
Head and he quickly cured me of all that
nonsense. You know, General Cheese Head
might be just the thing. I wonder if we
could get him to help Sabrina.
[Music]
Mrs. Crutup, this is Sabrina.
>> Nice to meet you.
>> Kind of puny, isn't she?
>> Don't worry, she'll make short work of
those pots and pans.
>> I suggest you use gloves.
gloves. How about a hazmat suit?
[Music]
Why am I so wiped? I'm usually not this
tired. Guess I'm usually not this
hungry.
>> I'm out of here. Just pull the back door
shut when you go. It's already locked.
>> Yes, Miss Crutup. See you tomorrow.
[Applause]
Like Miss McGurnney said, some things
need a little jump start.
[Music]
I'll just rest my eyes for a few
seconds.
[Music]
Huh?
[Music]
Oh my gosh. Magic got me into this mess.
Let's see if it can get me out of it.
Scene of chaos, please erase. pots
return to their proper place.
[Music]
That's weird. I just took a nap and I'm
still tired. Guess it really is time for
bed.
[Music]
>> Why do mornings show up so early?
Uh, I missed that, Sabrina. You had a
bed in your mouth.
>> Oh, what's the matter, kiddo? You feel
bad?
>> No, I feel fat.
>> You what? Why?
>> Oh, good one, Sabrina. You really got me
with that one. As if you're fat. Really?
>> No, I mean it. Look at me.
I can't even fit into my favorite jeans
anymore.
>> Um, Sabrina, about those jeans.
>> What about them?
[Music]
>> No. No, Sabrina, listen to me. I slept
in them, washed them, and then I shrunk
them when I dried them too fast.
>> Yuck. Boy, do I hate confessing.
>> Oh, Salem, that is so sweet of you.
making up that story so I won't feel bad
about getting fat. You really are a
friend.
>> Yeah, a friend who shrinks your clothes.
I thought people were supposed to
believe you when you told the truth.
>> If I'm quiet, Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda
won't know I skipped breakfast.
>> I have to work some more in the
cafeteria anyway. Tell them that. Okay.
>> Oh, I'll tell them. All right.
[Music]
Hey, you want to have lunch with me
today? My mom gave me enough pizza for
two.
>> No thanks. Food makes me sick.
>> Sabrina, turn down pizza. I don't
believe it.
>> I don't get it. My brain never bothers
me if I don't study. But if I don't eat,
my stomach won't leave me alone.
Man, I'm exhausted.
I know I'm not supposed to use magic,
but I don't have a choice. Pans and
scrubber know what to do. Keep on
washing till you're through.
[Music]
Hey, where am I?
[Music]
M whipped cream. It's so good.
And so full of calories, too. I can't
eat that.
No. No. I can't eat anything.
[Music]
Looks like a picnic.
>> What's that sound? Army ants.
>> Sabrina, you've been avoiding us.
>> Well, yeah. Food makes you fat. That's a
negative, soldier. The right food makes
you healthy.
>> I've got school pictures. I can't afford
to eat.
>> You can't afford not to. So, this is how
you want to play it, huh? You think
food's the enemy, do you?
>> You are the enemy.
>> Only if you treat us that way, Missy.
So, you leave me no choice.
Charge.
No, no, this can't be happening.
>> Oh man, I'm glad it was just a dream.
Got to stay away from food.
Hey, my wand.
[Music]
Gotcha.
[Music]
Miss McGrun is going to nail me so bad.
>> Oh no.
>> Charge.
[Music]
>> Charge.
>> Oh no, my wand's shorted out.
[Music]
[Music]
Got to find Miss Mcruni.
>> Move it, troops. We have to teach that
kid to eat and eat healthy.
[Music]
>> Miss McGrun, help. There's a food fight
in the cafeteria. Well, that's a job for
the janitor, Sabrina, not me.
>> No, ma'am. I mean, the food is fighting
like and Oh, no. And run for your lives.
>> Run for your lives.
>> Oh, Sabrina.
>> Yes, ma'am. You're going to want to see
me after school.
>> Bingo.
>> If anybody can straighten out Sabrina,
General Cheese Head can. I can't believe
she thinks she's fat. It's so silly.
[Music]
Huh?
>> General, it's us. Hilda and Zelda.
>> Silence, civilians. I've got a corn cob,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
>> Looks like the general is a few crackers
short of a box.
I'm out of here.
[Applause]
Oo, whole cream. Well, I am a little
parched.
Curse my refined pallet.
I I wanted to look my best. I'm so
sorry.
>> Well, I'm afraid sorry isn't going to be
enough. You made food your enemy, and
you need to change that and fast.
>> Miss Mcgrron,
>> darn thing's no good until I clean it.
Sabrina, we have to get to a washroom.
No, Miss McGruni. I started this. I need
to finish it. I'm going in.
>> Sabrina, no.
[Music]
Time for a little attitude about food
adjustments.
Well, food isn't your enemy, Sabrina.
It's about eating right and exercising.
Listen to us, sweetie. Not eating at all
is just as unhealthy as eating too much.
It's about creating a balance.
>> Oh, just smack him with a spatula and
get me down from here.
>> Stop.
>> You were all right and I was wrong.
Food's not my enemy. Please, can we be
friends?
>> Well, of course, dear. Friends it is.
Eat a bit and there will be peace.
[Music]
>> All you were saying is give peas a
chance.
[Music]
Hey, Miss McGrinie. Everything worked
out just fine.
>> Everything?
>> Oh, I know. I'm going to have to come up
with a top-notch forgetfulness spell.
>> Yes.
>> And I'm going to have to spend extra
hours in cafeteria detention. I promise
I will definitely not use magic this
time.
>> Yes.
>> After.
After what?
>> After I have breakfast, lunch, and
dinner. Don't binge, sweetheart. That's
really bad. Remember, with food, just
enough is just right.
>> Never fear. General Cheese Head is here.
General Cheese Head says you are what
you eat. So, eat right and not too much.
>> I General, I think I got it. Thanks.
[Music]
Check it out, Salem. What do you think?
Will I kill at the Ghost Athon or what?
>> You don't want to know what I think.
>> Yes, I do.
>> Okay.
I think you should finish your term
paper.
Okay. Okay. I promise. Just as soon as I
pick the right costume.
>> That's weird.
>> See, you don't like this costume.
>> No. No. That sneeze. I've heard it
before.
>> It's just dust from that dumb old book.
>> Not surprising you haven't touched it
for days.
>> So, what do you think?
That's it.
>> Really? You don't think it's too sappy?
>> The sneeze. It was in Paris, late 14th
century.
[Music]
The cherubs were just being added to the
Notre Dame Cathedral.
>> Hello. Notre Dame has gargoyless, not
cherubs.
>> Exact.
>> The witches who were supposed to cast
spells to help spread the weight load
caught a nasty flu from some of the
workmen.
>> Shoot.
>> So with them laid up in bed, no spells
were cast
and the cherubs turned into gargoyles.
So, what you're saying is you think I
have this gross gargoyle flu thing.
>> Well, wrong. Oh, I'm telling you it's
just a little dust
in my
nose.
>> Sabrina, honey, are you okay? Sorry,
just some dust in my
>> We'll see about that.
But H Zel
[Music]
into bed, young lady.
[Music]
>> But the ghostathon's tomorrow night, and
I haven't even figured out what I'm
going to wear yet.
>> I'm sorry, dear. If this fever keeps up,
you're not going anywhere.
[Music]
H
I feel fine. Really? I'll stay in bed
all day tomorrow. I promise.
>> Me, me, me. Is that all you care about?
The gargoyle flu is extremely contagious
and dangerous to witches and warlocks.
Can I get you anything, dear?
>> Well, no. It's too much work.
>> Nonsense. Whatever you want.
>> Fig and Bob Grass soup.
>> Of course you can. Anything to make you
feel better. Take some time though. 100
ingredients, you know.
>> Not taking this too seriously, are we?
>> I feel fine. I just have this dumb
sneeze. That's all.
[Music]
There's plenty more where that came
from. So, Spill, what magic formula can
I take to stop sneezing?
[Music]
>> No.
>> I know you think this cold is stupid,
but it doesn't affect every witch the
same.
All right. But I really can't believe
it's as bad as you say.
Well, good night.
[Music]
I feel so cheap, so weak.
What's the harm? One little bite. Nova
Scotian sumptuous.
[Music]
Now for a little catnap.
Nothing like a little sleeping potion.
Salmon
[Music]
[Music]
flu be gone. Uh, sneeze, freeze, shaw,
pause, stops all flu and cold symptoms.
That's the one.
[Music]
What a mess. Has Hilda ever cleaned up
after herself?
Intolerable. This time she's doing it
herself.
>> Sorry about this, Salem, but I got this
cold thing covered.
>> Sweet dreams.
>> Here you go, Sabrina. Oh,
>> sleeping. That's good.
[Music]
>> Our last, but certainly not least,
homeless ghost, witch, or warlock,
Robert Quibber.
Robert put in two distinguished
centuries in room 313 at the dreadful
boar hunting lodge on the English moors
only to have his home bulldozed and
replaced by the sunny side up tanning
salon.
>> Let's find him a home.
>> Doesn't the ruber deserve a new home?
This dilapidated little gem has creaky
claws and an attic full of bats. It's
positively crying out to be haunted.
Who will make the first bid?
500
and Elder.
Well, hello there. Who have we here? I'm
a Leo.
>> Excuse me.
[Music]
The Hocus Pocah. I love this song. It's
so retro.
>> Like I dig it, too.
>> That's nice. Now go away.
On second thought, let's dance.
[Music]
>> Ow. Ow. Hey, Leo. Can you try and dance
on the floor, not on my foot? Sweet.
Let's boogie another night away.
[Music]
[Music]
Ew. Nobody noticed. Maybe this wasn't
such a great idea.
>> Come on.
You don't want to poop this party, do
you?
[Music]
Now,
[Music]
Hey, sleepy head.
>> I did sleep rather deeply.
>> Good morning, honey. How are you
feeling?
>> Great.
See? No more cold.
[Music]
No way.
Sure.
Hey,
your new sweater.
Jeez, Cassandra, I'm so sorry.
[Music]
Oh, don't sweat it, Sabrina.
[Music]
My term paper. Would you believe uh my
blow dryer blew up my cell phone, which
blew up my organizer, which blew up my
hard drive?
>> Good, Sabrina.
>> Huh?
You put a sleeping potion spell on that
salmon, didn't you? Then you snuck off
to the Ghost Athon.
>> Cats, where'd you get such a crazy idea?
[Laughter]
[Music]
>> There.
>> I don't get it. What's so funny?
>> Nothing. In which folk, that's the first
symptom of the gargoyle flu. But
>> yes,
>> I took a cold potion and Oh, if that
goblin I was dancing with wasn't so
clumsy.
>> You sneezed and spread the germs.
>> So, they giggle. And Cassandra, it's
actually an improvement.
>> That's just the first phase. The other
phases aren't as harmless.
>> Hey, why aren't you giggling?
>> Since I was turned into a cat, witch
illnesses don't affect me much. Which
means you can go to the netherworld with
me to find a cure.
[Music]
>> Looks pretty normal to me.
>> Excuse me.
>> Oh, don't hurt me.
>> Okay. Okay, calm down. Don't you have a
new house to haunt? It's infested with
bats and spiders, and the lights flicker
and the floors creek.
>> Sounds dreamy. I mean, for a ghost.
>> Second phase of the gargoyle flu. They
go from unexplainable giggles to
complete terror. Stop it. Stop blinking.
>> Huh?
>> Your eyelashes, they're frightening me.
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
>> Forgive you? I'm going to eat you.
[Music]
Hey, why'd you do that? Why'd he do
that?
>> Third phase of the illness. Unbelievable
rage.
>> Run.
[Music]
Yeah.
[Music]
>> Follow me.
[Music]
What happened?
>> Stage four of the gargoyle flu.
>> Oh, crud.
>> What do we do now?
>> If we don't find a cure fast, they'll
stay that way along with the rest of the
nether world.
[Music]
Oh, Salem, it's all my fault. What can
we do?
[Music]
>> You finished Zelda's soup?
>> How can you be hungry at a time like
this?
>> I'm not. I'm merely observing that you
drank that soup and you haven't sneezed
since. Have you?
>> No, I feel fine.
>> As a half witch, I'd think you'd have a
few symptoms by now.
Do you think Anzelda soup cured me?
>> Could be. If we isolated the right
ingredients, then concentrated it to
full witch strength, maybe we'd have a
cure.
[Music]
>> Hi, Aunt Hilda.
Is Aunt Zelda around?
her laziness. I don't believe her. I
have to do all this shopping. Oh, you
want me to clean that, too? Give it.
>> Zelda.
>> Hello down there.
And Zelda, can you tell me what was in
that soup you made me?
>> You expect me
to remember all those ingredients?
>> Do you realize how many ingredients are
in that stupid soup? Do you?
>> Phase three, Zelda style.
>> What happened to phase two?
>> Well, how dare you shout at her? You
lazy lolly gagger. You're calling me
lazy? I sure am. What do you want to do
about it?
[Music]
Aunt Zelda.
>> Oh, okay. Sabrina dear,
>> look out.
[Music]
[Music]
and Zelda. And Hilda.
Oh, Salem, this is all my fault. I was
stubborn, selfish, and all I could think
about was me.
>> I couldn't agree more.
>> Thanks. Problemmo is how are we going to
find that cure without Zelda to tell us?
>> Experiment.
[Music]
[Music]
I give up. We've tried everything. Maybe
it wasn't just the broth that cured you.
You said something about cold medicine,
>> right? Schno's paws.
>> Concentrate this healing brew so it will
cure the gargoyle flu.
[Music]
This kitchen, it's cataclysmic. I can't
believe this mess.
>> Sabrina,
>> it was all my fault. I never should have
risked everyone's health just so I could
go to a party.
>> Oh well, dear. We all make mistakes.
Something to ponder while you spend the
next month washing our dishes. the next
month.
>> Well, before you get dishpan hands,
you've got a lot of work to do in the
netherworld.
[Music]
>> Took all night, but here it is. Miss
Mcgru,
[Music]
[Laughter]
payback for the latte bath.
Hey, Bina. You okay?
>> Sure. Things are definitely back to
normal.
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