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[music] No one told you life was going
to be this way.
Your job's a joke you broke. Your love
lives the only way.
It's like you're always stuck in second
gear. [music]
When it hasn't been your day, we lost
your [music]
I'll be there for you.
>> [music]
>> I'll be there for you like I've been
there before. I'll be there for [music]
you.
[music]
>> Oh my god. Rachel Green.
>> Rob Tilman.
>> No. No. It's It's me, Ross.
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.
>> [laughter]
>> No, no, no. Ross Giller. Oh,
>> of course. Monica's brother.
>> Yeah, right.
>> Wow. How are you?
>> Good. Good. I'm I'm married.
>> Oh, me too. [laughter]
>> Isn't it the best?
>> Oh, it's the best.
>> So, um, how's Monica?
>> Oh, really, really great. Yeah,
actually, she's right down the street.
Um, do you you know what? You should
stop by and say hi.
>> Oh, I would love to.
>> Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh, she'd be so excited.
>> Oh, okay. Oh, wait. Don't you have to
pay for your busted ladies?
>> Hey,
>> Mom. Look who I ran into.
>> Oh my god, RACHEL. [laughter]
>> You look terrific.
>> Oh, so do you.
>> Did you lose weight?
>> You were so sweet to notice. Yes, I lost
THREE AND A HALF POUNDS.
AND YOU you remember my friend Chandler
>> and uh and and that's Phoebe over there.
>> Hi.
>> Oh my god. Sit down. Sit down. How long
has it been since we've seen each other?
>> 1987, the day after Christmas, Shawn
McMahon's party. I I played you one of
my songs, you know, interplanetary
courtship ritual. [laughter]
>> Oh, yeah.
>> So, are are do you still do you still do
music?
>> Well, sometimes you should come over
sometime. I'll play you one of my other
>> Oh my god. Joey Trivani from Days of Our
Lives just walked in here.
>> Ra, he's a friend of ours.
>> You are friends with Dr. Drake Raor.
>> It's kind of hard to be friends with
Drake because of his busy schedule and
the fact that he's not real.
>> Hey. Hey. Or I could bring my keyboard
here sometime.
>> He's coming. HE'S COMING OVER, JOEY.
>> I KNOW. HERE. HERE.
>> OH.
[laughter] NO, this is my friend Rachel.
We went to high school together.
[laughter]
>> I
I love you on that show.
>> I watch you every day. I mean, when you
took out your own kidney to save your
ex-wife, even though she tried to kill
you. [laughter]
>> Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.
>> She's not crazy, is she?
>> So, uh, how are you doing?
I was I was thinking maybe uh maybe we
can spice things up a little.
>> What do you mean,
>> Carol? Our sex life, IT IT'S JUST NOT
IT.
>> HEY THERE, LITTLE FELLA. [laughter]
>> HEY. HEY, why don't we get some shoes on
you? Huh? Hey, why don't you show dad
how you can put your shoes on in your
room? Yay. [laughter]
>> Yay.
Seriously, our sex life.
I was thinking maybe I don't know, we
could try some some new things, you
know, for fun.
>> Like what?
>> Well, I don't know. Um
what if we uh were to
tie each other up?
[laughter]
>> Um some people
eat stuff off one another.
Yeah.
Um, you know, we we could try dirty
talk. Uh, [laughter]
um, we could we could have a threesome.
>> I love that idea. [laughter]
>> Pick up my vitamins.
Teach me how to spell vitamins.
Wear in my new jeans.
>> You realize what you are, don't you?
>> What?
>> You're his
No, no, no,
>> wait. You didn't just sit on my Kit
Kats, did you?
>> No. There there was a a little little
dip in the market and I lost $13
million.
>> But the Kit Kats are all right.
>> What am I GOING TO DO? WHAT AM I GOING
TO DO? I CAN'T CALL my office. They'll
kill me. I can't call my clients.
THEY'LL KILL THEMSELVES. [laughter]
GREAT. Now my chest hurts. What? My
chest hurts.
And now I I can't breathe. Baby, are you
having a heart attack?
>> Well, if I were, would would I have
shooting pains up and down my left arm?
>> Yes. Then yes, that is what I'm having.
>> Who sold a story to Aren't you comics?
>> Oh my god, THAT'S SO GREAT. OH, WOW.
[laughter]
YOU'RE A POLISH WRITER. I WISH I HAD A
PRESENT for you.
>> Wait a minute.
>> My last good.
[laughter]
[laughter]
>> You want to share it? Okay. Okay. Tell
me something, Joey.
>> I just fell right off the couch there.
>> Yeah, you did.
>> I'm okay.
>> Let me here you go.
>> Whoops.
>> Let me ask you a question.
>> Yeah.
>> When was the last time
>> someone told [music] you just how
beautiful you are?
>> Wow.
I can't [music] I can't feel my hands.
[laughter]
>> And I want you to have it.
>> No. No. Yes. Yes. And every time you
look at it, I want you to remember that
you are a good person. Okay? Now, you
had the chance to cheat and with me,
>> but you didn't. And that's what this
ring stands for.
>> But I thought that ring stood for
Capri's undying love for her brother.
>> Look, you want the ring or not?
>> Yeah.
>> [music]
>> Oh [laughter]
my god, Barry.
>> You said you were going to be away all
weekend. Oh,
>> that's right. I'm sorry. I I am early.
Finish, please.
>> Hey, Febs. Call security.
>> Fees. Uh, didn't you get fired?
>> I don't think so.
>> Phoebe.
>> Jack. Hey,
>> what are you doing here?
>> All better. Back to work. Except this
clown from research told me I was fired.
He should do his research, huh?
>> Well, you were fired.
[laughter]
>> Nuh-uh.
>> I told that guy who answered your phone.
>> Oh, okay. I didn't get that message, so
this doesn't count. Anyway, I'll be in
my office.
>> Uh, Phoebe, you you you don't have an
office.
>> That's all right. I'll I'll work right
here. This is good. next to this plant.
>> You're in my office. [laughter]
>> Look, I have made a lot of cash for this
company. Okay, I am talking big bucks,
pesos, yen, rubles. You make one little
mistake.
>> You lost $13 million.
>> Oh, so now this is all about money.
YOU KNOW IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT OW! OH,
you have got to be kidding. [laughter]
>> Are you all right?
>> I'm having another heart attack.
>> What? I'M HAVING ANOTHER HEART ATTACK.
CALL 911. [laughter]
>> Dumb ass.
>> Yeah, come in, eat, whatever you want.
Dr. Roger got beeped again.
>> Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him?
>> What?
>> I'm the ruptured spleen.
>> Why would you do that?
>> Because you shouldn't be with him.
You should be with me.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. When you were talking about Roger,
that was killing me. Look, things like
last night, they don't just happen, you
know, or at least not to me. But with
the other two women
in the morning, you know, I would just
lie there and I couldn't wait to just go
hang out with my friends. But with you,
I was, you know, already with a friend,
>> Chandler.
>> And I know you probably don't want to go
out with me, you know, cuz I make too
many jokes and I've never been in a
serious relationship. And I guess I'm
not technically a doctor.
[cheering]
[applause]
>> There was just one woman, wasn't there?
No, there were two
>> including me.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> Only takes two heart attacks to finally
make you see. One of them won't do it,
but the second will set you free.
[laughter]
Tell all your hate and anger it's time
to say goodbye. And that is just what I
will do soon as those bastards I worked
for die.
[applause]
La
la la la la la la la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la [music] la.
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