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At 21,
people expect you to have your life
figured out.
Or at least pretend that you do.
You're supposed to be finishing degrees,
starting careers,
confidently following some kind of plan.
And over a year ago,
it looked like I had one.
I was teaching, I had a job, I had
structure.
To other people, it probably looked like
I knew exactly what I was doing.
But the problem was, it only looked that
way from the outside.
Deep down,
I knew something didn't feel right.
And it's not in a dramatic way.
I didn't wake up one morning and decide
to change my whole life.
It was more like a thought I couldn't
shake.
If I already feel stuck now,
what happens if I continue to stay here?
And that question scared me because I
already knew the answer.
So, I'm making a decision that looked
highly questionable to almost everyone
around me.
I left teaching.
I walked away from the front of the
class,
and I went back to school.
Now, I remember walking into class on my
very first day,
looking around at the classmates who
were years younger than me, and
thinking, "What?
How did my life end up here?"
Well, obviously because I enrolled at
SN, but you get what I mean.
For years,
I had been the one standing in front of
the classroom.
And then, there I was, sitting at a desk
again,
taking notes,
doing homework, and preparing for exams
most people my age had already finished.
And I will
Sorry.
And I would love to tell you that I felt
brave,
but most of the time,
I I felt uncertain.
Cuz when you start again,
the hardest part isn't always the work
itself.
Sometimes, the hardest part
is walking away from a life that you
spent years building.
Kitchen was stable. It was respectable.
And it gave me routine.
It even when it didn't feel right
anymore,
it still it still felt safer than
stepping into something unknown.
And I think this is where many of us get
stuck.
We are staying because
we're afraid.
We're staying because we're waiting for
fear to disappear.
And fear really leaves before we take
action.
Sometimes, you have to decide while
you're still afraid.
For a long time, I told myself I was
being practical.
But,
I was just scared.
I kept telling myself, "Stay a little
longer.
At least it's safe here.
Um it's not that bad."
And that's how we choose the unknown
angel that didn't know double over the
unknown angel.
We choose the life we already know
because we're afraid of what happens if
we step into the unknown.
Does the unknown
ask us to risk being misunderstood? It
asks us to start again. And it asks us
to admit that
what might what what used to work for us
might not work anymore.
So, let me ask you this.
What are you tolerating today
simply because you're afraid of what
happens if you let go of the familiar?
And for me,
that was the question I had to come
face-to-face with.
I wasn't staying because I was happy.
I was staying because leaving meant I
have to face the unknown.
And suddenly, the unknown makes us feel
like we need more time, more or proof,
more confidence, more signs.
But at some point, I realized something.
Certainty is not what changes your life.
Decision does.
Not a perfect decision, not a decision
with every step planned ahead.
Just one honest decision that says,
"This I feel familiar, but this is no
longer where I want to be now."
I used to think starting over meant I
had fallen behind, but one story changed
the way I saw that.
2 years ago, I read about a woman named
Doreen Bigelow.
She started ballet at 61 years 61 years
old.
Not as a child, not as a teenager, at
61.
When I first read about her, I thought
it was inspiring.
But I also thought I had nothing to do
with me at the time.
But now, I think I understand why her
story stayed with me for so long.
See, it was It wasn't really about
ballet.
It was about giving yourself the
permission
to rewrite the timeline.
Cuz a timeline is not a rule.
It's just an idea that we were given.
An idea that says there's a right age to
study, to succeed,
to know who you are,
and the right age to begin.
But we all know that real life rarely
works that way.
Some people start early,
some start late,
some start over,
and some people spend years on a path
before they realize they want something
different.
But that doesn't mean
they were wrong for.
That doesn't mean they failed.
It means they changed.
And changing your path isn't always a
sign that
um you were
wrong before.
It's a sign
that says you're finally being honest
now.
So today, I'm not exactly where people
expected me to be at 21.
I'm sitting for exams that most people
took years ago, and baby tiny steps
embarrass me a little, but
I don't think I'm behind anymore
because I feel like I'm finally moving.
Rewriting your timeline isn't about
proving people wrong.
It's not about catching up to everyone
else, and it's not about making your
life look impressive from the outside.
It's actually about recognizing when
you're when
the path you're on
no longer reflects the person you're
becoming.
So if there's something in your life
that you're outgrowing, I'm not here to
tell you to destroy everything and start
over tomorrow.
I would be reckless.
And honestly, I don't think every
uncomfortable feeling needs a dramatic
answer.
But I do think you should be attaching
to that feeling.
So maybe
you don't need certainty before you
begin.
Maybe you just need one decision.
The decision to give yourself
permission,
the decision to try again,
and the decision to choose the unknown
angel
even if the known devil feels safer.
Thank you.
>> [applause]
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