By
Viewed
448,484
Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
Questions: 0/940
Correct: 0
Translate:
Hi. [laughter]
>> This guy says hello. I want to kill
myself.
>> Are you okay, sweetie?
>> I just feel like someone reached down my
throat, grabbed my small intestine,
pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it
around my neck.
>> Cookie.
>> Carol moved her stuff out today.
>> Let me get you some coffee.
>> Thanks.
>> No. Oh, no. No. Don't stop cleansing my
aura. [laughter]
Don't just leave my aura alone. Okay.
I'll be fine. All right. Really,
everyone? I hope she'll be very happy.
>> No, you don't.
>> No, I don't. To hell with her. She left
me.
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
[laughter]
>> No. Okay. Why does everyone keep
fixating on that? [laughter]
She didn't know. How should I know?
>> Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
[laughter]
>> Did I say that out loud?
>> All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a
lot of pain right now. You're angry.
You're hurting. Can I tell you what the
answer is?
>> Strip joint. [laughter]
>> Come on. You're single. Have some
hormones.
>> See, but I don't want to be single.
Okay. Hey, I just I just I just want to
be married again.
>> And I just want a million dollars.
>> Listen to me. It's like all of my life,
everyone has always told me, "You're a
shoe. You're a shoe. You're a shoe.
You're a shoe." And then today, I just
stopped and I said, "What if I don't
want to be a shoe? What if I want to be
a a purse, you know, or or or a hat?"
[laughter]
No, I don't want you to buy me a hat.
I'm saying that I am a H. It's a
metaphor. Daddy, [laughter]
>> you can see where you'd have trouble.
>> Look, Daddy, it's my life.
Well, well, maybe I'll just stay here
with Monica.
>> Well, I guess we've established you
staying here with Monica. [laughter]
>> Well, maybe that's my decision.
Well, maybe I don't need your money.
Wait. Wait. I said maybe.
>> Guess what?
>> You got a job.
>> Are you kidding? I'm trained for
nothing.
>> I was laughed at 12 interviews today.
>> And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
>> Well, you would be too if you found Joan
and David boots on sale, 50% off.
>> Oh, how well you know me.
>> They're my new I don't need a job. I
don't need my parents. I've got great
boots. Boots.
How'd you pay for them?
>> Uh, credit card.
>> And who pays for that?
>> Um, my father.
[laughter]
>> Come on. You can't live off your parents
your whole life.
>> I know that. That's why I was getting
married. [laughter]
Give her a break. It's hard being on
your own for the first time.
>> Thank you. You're welcome. I remember
when I first came to this city, I was
14. My mom had just killed herself and
my stepdad was back in prison. And I got
here and I didn't know anybody. And I
ended up living with this albino guy who
was like cleaning windshields outside
Port Authority. And then he killed
himself.
And then I found aromatherapy. So
believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
>> The word you're looking for is
anyway.
[laughter]
All right. You ready?
>> I don't think so. Oh, come on. Cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
[cheering]
[applause]
>> Hey, welcome to the real world. It
sucks. You're going to love it.
>> Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
Decaf cappuccino for Joey,
coffee, black,
latte,
[laughter]
and a nice tea. I'm getting pretty good
at this.
>> Excellent.
>> Good for me. [laughter]
>> Oh, hey.
It's worse than the thumb.
>> This is so unfair.
>> Oh, poison scissors.
>> So, I have a flaw. Big deal. Like Joey's
constant knuckle cracking isn't
annoying. And Ross with his over
pronouncing every single word. And
Monica with that snort when she laughs.
I mean, what the hell is that thing?
[laughter]
I accept all those flaws. Why can't you
accept me for this?
>> Does the knuckle cracking bother
everybody?
[laughter]
>> Well, I I could live without it.
[laughter] Was
it like a little annoying or is it like
when Phoebe chews her hair?
[laughter]
>> Oh, now don't listen to him, Feebs. All
right. I think it's endearing.
>> Oh, you do. Do you? [laughter]
>> Now, there's nothing wrong with speaking
correctly.
>> Indeed, there isn't. [laughter]
I should really get back to work.
>> Yeah. Otherwise, someone might get what
they actually ordered.
>> Well,
the hair comes out and the gloves come
off. [laughter]
>> Right.
>> I don't have a plan.
>> Pizza guy. Thank God.
>> Phoebe,
>> what do you have a plan?
>> I don't even have a plan.
>> I want a mushroom, green pepper, and
onion.
>> No, no, no, that's not what we ordered.
We ordered a fat-free crust with extra
cheese.
[laughter]
>> Wait, you're not G Stephanopoulos?
>> Oh man, my dad's going to kill me. Wait,
[laughter]
did you say G Stephanopoulos?
>> Yeah. Yeah, this one goes across the
street. I must have given him yours. Oh,
bonehead. Bonehead.
[laughter]
>> Wait, was this a a small Mediterranean
guy with curiously intelligent good
looks?
>> Yeah, it sounds about right.
>> Was he Was he wearing a stunning blue
suit and and a power tie?
>> No, pretty much just a towel.
>> Oh god. Oh god.
>> So, you guys want me to take this back?
WHAT ARE YOU NUTS? WE'VE GOT GEORGE
STEPHANOPOULOS'S PIZZA.
>> UH, FEES.
>> Who is George Snuffelophagus? [laughter]
>> That's Pig Bird's friend.
>> I see pizza. Oh, I want to see. Let me
see. Let me see. Hello. Who are we
spying on? You know the White House
advisor, Clinton's campaign guy. The one
with the great hair, sexy smile, really
cute butt.
>> Oh, him, the little guy. Oh, I love him.
[laughter]
>> Oh, wait. Wait. I see a woman. Tell me
it's his mother. It's
>> definitely not his mother.
>> Oh, no. Wait. She's walking across the
floor. She's walking. She's walking.
She's going for THE PIZZA. HEY, THAT'S
NOT FOR YOU,
OKAY,
>> let's do laundry.
>> That was amazing.
>> I can't even send back soup.
>> Well, that's that's because you're such
a sweet, gentle uh
>> um uh do you uh do Oh, hey, you must
need detergent.
[laughter]
>> What's that?
>> Us.
It's uh It's new. It's German. It's
extra tough. [laughter]
Ra, do you are you going to separate
those?
>> Oh god.
>> Oh, am I being like a total laundry
span? I mean, am I supposed to use like
one machine for shirts and another
machine for pants? [laughter]
>> Have you Have you never done this
before?
>> Well, not myself, but I know other
people that have. [laughter]
>> Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry
virgin.
>> [laughter]
>> Uh well, don't worry. I'll use the
gentle side.
>> Okay. Um
uh basically, you want to use one
machine for all your whites.
>> Whites.
>> Okay. A whole another machine for for
your colors
>> and and a third for uh your uh
uh delicates. And that would be your
bras and your under panty things.
Okay. Well, what about these are white
cotton panties. Would they go with
whites or with delicates?
>> Uh, that that that would be a judgment
call. [laughter]
>> You got the clothes clean. Now that's
the important part.
>> Oh, I guess. Except everything looks
like jammies now.
[laughter]
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this
cart.
Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist. You
lose things now. Come on. Get out of my
way.
>> I'm sorry. You know, maybe I wasn't
being clear. Uh, this was our car.
>> Hey, hey, hey. There aren't any CLOTHES
IN IT.
>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. QUIT MAKING UP
RULES.
>> Let's go. Come on. THIS IS MY CAR. I
THOUGHT IT WAS.
>> ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, MINTY. If you want
this cart, you're going to have to take
me with it.
>> [laughter]
>> Did you see that?
>> You were incredible.
>> A brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
>> Thank you. Thank you. I could not have
done this without you.
[laughter]
>> Okay. Um uh more clothes in the dryer.
Everybody sh uh Central Perk is proud to
present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffet.
[cheering]
[applause]
>> Thanks. Hi. Um I want to start with a
song that's about that moment when you
suddenly realize what life is really all
about. Okay, here we go.
>> Okay, thank you very much. New York City
has no power. And the [music] milk is
getting sour, but to me it is not scary.
[music]
Cuz I stay away from dairy.
[laughter]
[music]
>> It's that Victoria's Secret model.
Something something goodacre.
>> Hi, Mom. It's Jill.
>> She's right. It's Jill. Jill Goodacre.
Oh my god. I am trapped in an ATM
vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an ATM.
Oh yeah, that is the part to focus on,
you idiot.
>> Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the
bank. But an ATM vestibule.
>> Jill says vestibule. I'm going with
vestibule.
>> I'm fine. No, I'm not alone.
I don't know. Some guy.
>> Oh, some guy.
Some guy. Hey, Jill. I saw you with some
guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[laughter]
>> Would you like some gum?
>> Oh, is it sugarless? [laughter]
>> Sorry, it's not.
>> Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was
that? [laughter]
Mental note, if Jill Goodacre offers you
gum, you take it. If she offers you
mangled animal carcass, you take it.
You know, on second thought, gum would
be perfection.
[laughter]
Gum would be perfection.
Gum would be perfection. Could have said
gum would be nice. Could have said I'll
have a stick, but no, no, no, no, no.
For me, gum is perfection. [laughter]
I loathe myself.
Okay. What next? Blow a bubble. A
bubble's good. It's got a uh boyish
charm. It's impish.
Here we go.
[laughter]
Now it's going in. Okay. Okay. It It's
okay. All I need to do is reach over and
put it back in my mouth.
>> Good. Safe. We're back on track. And I'm
chewing someone else's gum.
This is not my gum. Oh my god. Oh my
god.
And now you're choking. [laughter]
>> Are you all right?
>> Oh my god. YOU'RE CHOKING
[laughter]
>> BETTER.
>> YES.
>> Thank you. That was
That was
>> perfection.
>> The most unbelievable thing has
happened. Underdog has gotten away.
>> The balloon. No. No. The actual cartoon
character. [laughter]
Of course, the balloon.
It's all over the news. Right before he
reached Macy's, he broke free and was
spotted flying over Washington Square
Park. I'm going to the roof. Who's with
me?
>> I can't. I got to go.
>> Come on. An 80ft inflatable dog loose
over the city. How often does that
happen?
>> Almost never.
>> Got the keys.
>> Okay.
First saw the giant dog shadow fall over
the park.
>> Yeah, but did they have to shoot him
down? I mean, that was just mean.
Okay. Right about now, the turkey should
be crispy on the outside, juicy on the
inside.
>> Why are we standing here?
>> We're waiting for you to open the door.
You've got the keys.
>> No, I don't. [laughter]
Yes, you do. When we left, you said,
"Got the keys." No, I didn't. I asked,
"Got the keys?"
>> No, no, no. You said got the keys.
Either of you have the keys. [laughter]
>> The oven is on.
>> Oh, I've got to get my ticket.
>> Oh, wait. Wait. We have a copy of YOUR
KEY.
>> WELL, THEY GET IT. GET IT.
>> HEY. HEY. That tone won't make me go any
faster, [laughter]
>> Joey.
>> That one will.
>> I swear you said you HAD THE KEYS.
>> NO, I DIDN'T. I WOULDN'T SAY I had the
keys unless I had the keys. I OBVIOUSLY
DID NOT HAVE THE KEYS.
>> OH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. ENOUGH
with the keys. No one say keys.
Why would I have the keys? [laughter]
>> Aside from the fact that you said you
had them, BUT I DIDN'T. WELL, YOU SHOULD
HAVE. WHY?
>> BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS MY
RESPONSIBILITY. Is that I mean, isn't it
enough that I'm making Thanksgiving
dinner for everyone? YOU KNOW, EVERYONE
wants a DIFFERENT KIND OF POTATO. SO,
I'M MAKING different kinds of potatoes.
I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY care what kind of
potatoes I want? NO. [screaming]
NO. [cheering] NO. YOU KNOW, JUST AS
LONG AS PHOEBE gets her peas AND ONIONS
AND MARIO GETS HIS TOTS AND get my first
Thanksgiving and I IT'S ALL BURNED AND I
[laughter]
>> Hey, Monica. Only dogs can hear you now.
So, look, the door's open. Here we go.
>> Oh,
well, turkeyy's burnt.
Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are
ruined. Potatoes are ruined. [laughter]
>> Here we come. Walking down the
[laughter]
>> This doesn't smell like mom's.
>> No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted
lumps, Ross. WELL, HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
YOU GOT ONE. [laughter]
>> OH, GOD. This is great. The plane is
gone, so I guess I'm stuck here with you
guys.
>> Hey, we all had better plans. Okay. This
was nobody's first choice.
>> Oh, really? SO WHY WAS I BUSTING MY ASS
TO MAKE THIS DELICIOUS THANKSGIVING
DINNER?
>> YOU CALL IT DELICIOUS.
Why don't WE GO SEE IT? [laughter]
>> STOP IT. STOP IT.
>> Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
>> Okay. Who wants light cheese and who
wants dark cheese?
>> I don't even want to know about the dark
cheese.
Does anybody want to split this with me?
>> Oh, I will.
>> You guys have to make a wish.
>> Make a wish.
>> Come on. You know Thanksgiving.
[laughter]
>> Woohoo. You got the bigger half. What'
you wish for?
>> The bigger half.
[laughter]
>> All right. I'd like to propose a toast.
Little toast here.
I know this isn't exactly the kind of
Thanksgiving that all of you planned,
but for me, this has been really great.
You know, I think because it didn't
involve divorce or projectile vomiting.
[laughter]
Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if
you'd gone to Veil or if you guys had
been with your family or if you didn't
have
syphilis and stuff,
we wouldn't be all together, you know?
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is
that uh I'm very thankful that all of
your Thanksgiving sucked. [laughter]
>> It's so sweet.
>> Thank you.
>> And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas
>> and a crappy new year.
>> Here,
>> guys. There's uh somebody I'd like you
to meet.
>> Wait, wait. What is that? That would be
Marcel. You want to say hi?
>> No. No, I don't. Oh, he is precious.
Where did you get him?
>> My friend Bethl rescued him from some
lab.
>> That is so cruel. Why? Why would a
parent name their child Bethl?
[laughter]
>> Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his
ass.
>> Ros, is he going to live with you like
in your apartment?
>> Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet
since Carol left. So,
>> why don't you just get a roommate?
>> Uh, I don't know. I think you reach a
certain age, having a roommate is just
kind of pathetic.
>> Uh, sorry, that's that's pathetive.
>> What do you think?
>> I think it's the most beautiful table
I've ever seen.
>> I know.
>> So, how does this work? Going to balance
the plates on these little guys' heads?
Who
>> cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on,
somebody. Heads
up, ROSS. SCORE.
>> You suck. [laughter]
[screaming]
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
>> That is it. You just barge in here. You
don't knock. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR
ANYBODY'S PRIVACY. WAIT. NO. YOU WAIT.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> Just say ONE THING.
>> WHAT? WHAT? That's a relatively open
weave and I can still see your
nipular areas.
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could
>> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your
thing.
[laughter]
>> [laughter]
>> What's the matter with you?
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS TROUBLE.
>> OH, WHAT?
>> YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE SO I
COULD SEE YOUR THING. [laughter]
>> SORRY, my my thing was in there with me.
>> Hey, Joey. What's going on?
>> Clear the tracks for the Booby Payback
Express. Next stop, Rachel Green.
>> [screaming]
>> Joey, what the hell were you doing?
>> Sorry, wrong boobies. [laughter]
>> Hello, Joey.
>> Hello, dear.
>> [laughter]
>> Who are they?
>> The uh blonde is my ex wife and the
woman touching her is her close personal
friend. [laughter]
>> I mean they're lovers.
>> If you want to put a label on it.
[laughter]
>> Wow. Uh anything else I should know?
>> Nope. Nope. That That's it.
Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.
[laughter]
I always forget that part. [laughter]
>> Hello.
Can you see my nipples through this
shirt?
[laughter]
>> No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're
still there.
>> So, where are you going, Mr. Sudy man?
>> Well, I have an appointment to see Dr.
Robert Pilman, career counselor. Agogo.
>> I added the agogo.
>> Career counselor.
>> Hey, you guys all know what you want to
do.
>> I don't.
>> Hey, you guys in the living room all
know what you want to do. You know, you
have goals. You have dreams. I don't
have a dream. Uh, the lesserk known I
don't have a dream speech.
>> Oh, I love my life. I love my life. Oh,
Bryant song.
The meeting with that guy went great. So
great. He showed me where the
restaurant's going to be. It's It's this
cute little place on Tent Street. It's
not too big. It's not too small. It's
just right.
>> Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman
and some bears?
>> So now we draw cards. [laughter]
So, I wouldn't need any, right? Cuz I
have a straight.
>> Oh, CONGRATULATIONS.
>> OKAY, FEBS, how many do you want?
>> Okay, I just need two. The um 10 of
spades and the six of clubs.
>> No. Uh Febs, you can't do that. You
can't
>> Oh, wait. I have the T of spades. Here
you want.
>> Uh no. See, uh you you can't do that.
No, that's okay. That's okay. I don't
need them. I'm going for force.
>> Oh, you're [laughter]
>> Damn it. [music] Damn it. Damn it.
>> Yeah,
>> I see. So then, um, you were lying
>> about what?
>> About how good your cards were.
>> I was bluffing.
>> Aha. And what is bluffing?
>> Is it not another word for lying?
>> Okay. Sorry to break up this party, but
I've got resumes to fix before work
tomorrow. Ra, we got to settle.
>> Settle what?
>> The Jamestown colony of Virginia.
[laughter]
>> You see, King George is giving us the
land. So, [laughter]
>> the game, Rachel, the game. You owe us
money for the game.
>> Oh, right.
>> You know what, you guys? It's their
first time. Why don't we just forget
about the money?
>> Well, no, we'll pay.
Monica, I had another answer already.
[laughter]
And you know what? We want a rematch.
>> Well, that's fine with me. Could use the
money.
>> All right.
>> Your money's mine. Green.
>> Your fly is open. GELLER. [laughter]
[music]
>> You guys, you know what I just realized?
Joker is poker with a J. [laughter]
Coincidence?
Hey, that's that's Joe incidents with a
C.
[laughter]
[laughter]
>> Uh, Phoebe. Phoebe.
>> Yeah, I'm I'm out.
>> I'm in.
>> Me, too.
>> Me, too. All right. What do you got?
>> Well, you better hop out of the shower
cuz I got a flush.
>> [cheering]
>> Well, well, well. Hop back in, bucko,
CUZ I GOT FOUR SIXES. I GOT FOUR SIXES.
I WON. I actually won. Oh my. Oh, look.
You know what? I think I'm going to make
a little Ross pile. [laughter]
I think that one was Ross's. And I think
Oh, that one was Ross's.
>> I see your 20.
Where's your 25?
>> [laughter]
>> Say you're 25
and uh Monica, get my purse.
>> Rachel, there's nothing in it.
[laughter]
>> Okay, then get me your purse.
[laughter]
Okay, babe. Here you go. Good luck.
Thank you.
I saw you're 25 and I raised you
seven
teen.
[laughter]
>> Joey, I'm a little shy.
>> That's okay, Ross. You can ask me.
[laughter]
What do you need? What do you need?
>> 15.
>> All right. Here's 10.
>> Here. I got five. I got five. Thank you.
>> Good luck. [clears throat]
>> Okay. I am calling your 17. What do you
got?
[music]
Full house.
>> [music]
>> You got me. Oh.
That's all right. That's a tough hand to
beat. I thought we had them.
>> Oh, well, when you don't have the cards,
you don't have the cards, you know. But,
uh, [sighs]
>> look how happy she is.
[snorts]
>> Hey. Hey. How was the first day?
>> Oh, excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
>> See, it pays to know the man who wears
my shoes.
Me.
No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew
you.
>> Why not?
>> Well, because you know
>> they don't like you. [laughter]
>> What?
>> I thought you'd do that.
>> Nuh-uh.
>> Who doesn't like me?
>> Everyone
except for um No, everyone.
>> What are you talking about?
>> Don't feel bad. You know, they used to
like you a lot, but then you got
promoted and you know, now you're all
like Mr. Bossman. You know, Mr. Bing,
Mr. Bing, boss man Bing. [laughter]
>> I can't believe it.
>> Yeah. Yeah. They even do you.
>> They do me,
>> you know, like um Okay. Um could that
report be any later?
I don't sound like that.
>> Oh. Oh, J.
>> Yeah, you do. [laughter]
>> The hills are alive with the sound
of music. [laughter]
[applause]
MY STONE. MY STONE. [laughter]
>> OKAY, I don't sound like that. That is
so not true.
That is so not That is so not that. Oh,
shut up.
[snorts]
>> [laughter]
>> Oh, that's nice.
Oh,
Ros.
Ross,
>> I'm here. [laughter]
>> You are
um we um we were just
Wow.
>> What?
>> Um
>> great. Now I'm having a baby.
>> What?
No, I'm I'm HAVING I'M HAVING A BABY.
I'M I'M HAVING IT WITH THE PHONE. THE
PHONE. THE PHONE.
[laughter]
>> ROS,
>> I'm hurt.
>> Monica, let's go. Come on now, people.
Woman in labor.
>> Hey, Ross, look what I got going here.
>> Yeah, save it for the cab. Okay.
[laughter]
>> What are you doing? What are you doing?
We're going to a hospital.
>> What? So I can't look nice? There might
be doctors there.
>> Joey, get out of the fridge.
>> All right. All right.
>> What is that for the ride?
>> Oh, yeah. Like in a cab.
>> Save it.
>> Okay. Hating this.
>> MONICA, COME ON OUT NOW. Let's go.
>> Baby coming.
>> I can't believe it. I'm going to be an
ant.
>> I'm going to have like a nephew.
[laughter]
>> That's nice. Get out. Let's go. Come on.
Right. Right. I'm going. I'm going.
Here
we go.
>> They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to
[music] touch. Soon they'll grow up and
resent you [singing] so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't
know [singing] why. And you cry and you
cry and you cry
and you cry and you cry and you
>> Thanks, Ross.
>> Yeah, I'm paying you to stop. [laughter]
>> Okay.
>> Oh, look. Twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute.
Cute.
>> No fair. I don't even have one. How come
they get two?
>> You'll get one.
>> Oh, yeah. When?
>> All right. I'll tell you what. when
we're 40. If neither of us are married,
>> what do you say you and I get together
and have one?
>> Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
[laughter]
>> Oh, no, no, no. I I just meant
hypothetically.
>> Okay. Hypothetically, why won't I be
married when I'm 40?
>> No, no, no,
>> no, no. What is it? Seriously, is there
something fundamentally unmarable about
me?
>> Uh uh.
>> Well,
>> dear God, this this parachute is a
knapsack.
>> Everything's going fine. Really? Yeah,
Ross is great. He's a He's in a whole
other place [laughter]
now. He's gone.
No, no, you you don't have to fly back.
Really?
>> What do you mean? This might be your
only chance. Would you stop? I'm only
26. I'm I'm not even thinking about
babies yet. [crying]
[laughter]
Oh god, I can't believe one of us
actually has one of these.
>> I know. I still am one of these.
[laughter]
>> Ross,
>> can I
Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. [music] You
got to
>> Hi, Ben.
Hi.
I'm your aunt Monica. Yes, I am. I'm
your aunt, Monica.
>> I
I will always have gum.
>> Hey, thanks.
>> How long did you think this barbecue was
going to last?
>> I'm going to China.
>> Jeez, you say one thing. And
>> you're going to China?
>> Yeah, it it's for the museum. Someone
found a bone. We want the bone, but they
don't want us to have the bone. So, I'm
going over there trying to persuade them
to give us the It's a It's a whole big
bone thing. [laughter]
Anyway, I'm going to be gone for like uh
like a week. So, uh if you want to reach
me, you can't. So, here's my itinerary.
Um
here's a picture of me.
>> Oh, let me see. [laughter]
>> Could you take it to Carol's every now
and then and show it to Ben just so he
doesn't forget me?
>> Yeah. Hi, Ben. I'm your father.
I am the head.
>> All right, this barbecue is going to be
very fun.
>> Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to
wish her a happy birthday before I I
left.
>> Oh, no. She's out having drinks with
Carl.
>> Oh, hey, who's Carl? [laughter]
>> You know that guy that she met at the
coffee house?
>> No. Well, well, see, there's this guy
that she met at
>> at the coffee house, right?
>> So, you do know who he is.
[laughter]
>> Oh, so pretty. This must have cost him a
fortune. I can't believe he did this.
>> Come on, Ross. Remember back in college
when he fell in love with Carol and
bought her that ridiculously expensive
crystal duck?
>> What did you just say?
>> [laughter]
[laughter]
>> Crystal duck.
>> No, no, no. The um the love part.
[laughter]
>> Oh.
My god.
>> Oh, no. No, no, no. That's good. Just
keep rubbing your head. That'll turn
back time.
>> I mean, you and Ross, did you have any
idea?
>> No. None. I mean, my first night in the
city, he mentioned something about
asking me out, but nothing ever
happened, so I just Well, what else did
he say? I mean, does he like want to go
out with me? Well, given that he's
desperately in love with you, he
probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of
coffee or something.
>> All this time?
>> Well, I've got to talk to him.
>> Yeah, he's in China.
>> The country?
[laughter]
>> No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave
for another 45 more minutes.
>> What about the time difference?
>> From here to the airport.
>> Yes.
>> You're never going to make it.
>> Well, I've got to try. Rachel, what are
you going to say to him?
I I don't know.
>> Well, then maybe you shouldn't go.
>> He's right. Cuz if you're just going to
like break his heart, that's the kind of
thing that can wait.
>> Yeah, but if it's good news, you should
tell him now.
>> I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see
him. Here, look. All right. Does this
help? [laughter]
[applause]
>> No. Look, all I know is that I cannot
wait a week until I see him. I mean,
this is just too big, you know? Just I
just I've just got to talk to him. I I
got to Okay, I'll see you later.
>> Rachel, I love you. Deal with me first.
[laughter]
[laughter]
Excuse me.
>> Pardon me. Excuse me.
>> Hi. Hi. Can I see your boarding pass?
>> No. No. I don't have one. I just need to
talk to my friend.
>> Oh, I'm sorry. You are not allowed on
the jetway unless you have a boarding
pass.
>> No, I know that I He just went on. He's
right there. He's got the blue jacket
on. I can I just I'm sorry. No, no.
Federal regulations. Okay. All right.
Okay. Um then could you please uh just
give him a message for me, please? This
is very important. All right. What's the
message? Uh I don't know. [laughter]
>> Sir. Sir, excuse me, sir.
>> Um, I have a message for you.
>> What?
>> It's from Rachel. She said that she
loved the present and she will see you
when you get back.
>> What?
[laughter]
>> Toby. Oh, for God's sake. I don't know
what she's talking about. There's no
Rachel. Don't give me that deep freeze.
[music]
Related Songs