– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

嘿 Kiki，

[笑声]

>> 你在做什么？只是想让

舒服一些。无法穿着我的

内衣睡觉。

>> 好吧，你会

[笑声]

我一直在想，你知道，

我总是看到女孩在女孩之上。

它们是首尾相接还是像

煎饼一样高？ [笑声]

你知道我

总是和这些女人约会是什么意思吗？

因为我一直认为，当合适的人

出现时，我就能成为一名

单口相声并坚持到底。你

知道，我看着我爸爸，心里想，

“嘿，你不是他。你就是你。”

当他们都想让你进入

你父亲的管道配件业务时，

你屈服了吗？

>> 不。

>> 不。您决定进入

演员行业。 [笑声]

现在，这并不容易，但你做到了。

我愿意相信，当

合适的女人出现时，你会有

勇气和胆量说：“不

谢谢。我结婚了。[笑]

你

>>真的这么认为吗？”

>> 是的，我真的这么做。

>> 谢谢，钱德勒。

>> 下车。

>> 嘿，宝贝。我可以和你聊

秒吗？

>> 当然。好的。嗯，我[笑]

菲比，听着，我只是想说

对不起，好吗？我对这种情况的处理非常糟糕

，而且我不应该对你撒谎

。

>> 那么，你应该做什么？

>> 好吧，我应该告诉你

真相。

>> 嗯嗯。

好吧，你知道，我不想

想要和你一起跑步的原因是因为

嗯，你知道，你跑步

的方式有点

[笑声]

>> 所以，好吧，这很尴尬。人们

看着我们，就像我们疯了一样。

>> 你为什么关心？因为他们是人。

但你不认识的人

再也见不到了。

>> 是的，但他们仍然是拥有

眼睛的人。

>> [笑声]

>> 好吧，我

在小姐旁边跑步并没有感到尴尬。

[笑声]

>> 但是哦，好吧。不，不，我明白为什么

和我一起跑步会让

你感到尴尬。是的。好的。你很紧张。

>> 什么？我还没起来。

听着，我并不紧张，伙计。

[笑声]

>> 没关系，雷切尔。我不是在评判

你。这就是你。我，你知道，我

更加怪异。我就像小时候

那样跑步，因为这是唯一

有趣的方式，你知道吗？我的意思是，

你是否曾经跑得那么快，以致于你以为你的

条腿会掉下来？你知道，

就像当你跑向

秋千或逃离

撒旦、

[笑声]

邻居的狗时。

>> [笑声]

[尖叫]

>> 我很抱歉。你说得对。这感觉

很棒。

>> 看吧，你不在乎人们是否

盯着看。这只是第二次，因为然后

你就走了。

>> 天哪，太棒了。我感到如此自由和如此

优雅。 [笑声]

嘿，小心那匹马。

>> 您正在熟睡。

更深，更深，更深。您现在

完全睡着了。您不需要

吸烟。香烟无法控制你。您

是一位坚强、自信的女性，

不需要吸烟。一个坚强、自信的

女人。

>> [笑声]

[欢呼]

[笑声]

[音乐]

>> 嘿，听我说。就像我

的一生一样，每个人都总是告诉我，

“你是一只鞋。你是一只鞋。你是一只

鞋。你是一只鞋。”然后今天，我

停下来，我说，“如果我

不想成为鞋子怎么办？如果我想

成为钱包怎么办？”你知道，或者或者或者

帽子。 [笑声]

不，我不想让你给我买帽子。

我是说我是一顶帽子。这是一个

隐喻。爸爸，[笑声]

>> 你可以看到他哪里有麻烦。

[笑声]

>> 看，爸爸，这就是我的生活。

好吧，好吧，也许我会和 Monica 一起留在这里

。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，我想我们已经确定你

和莫妮卡住在这里。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，也许这就是我的决定。

好吧，也许我不需要你的钱。

等等，等等。我说也许吧。

>> 你猜怎么着？

>> 你找到了工作。

>> 你在开玩笑吗？我接受的训练没有

。

>> 今天我被12次采访笑了。

>> 但你却出奇地乐观。

>> 好吧，如果您发现 Joan

和 David 靴子打折，您也会喜欢，折扣 50%。

>> 哦，你多么了解我啊。

>> 他们是我的新人，我不需要工作。我

不需要我的父母。我有一双很棒的

靴子。靴子。

您如何付款？

>> 呃，信用卡。嗯。

>> 谁为此买单？

>> 嗯，我的父亲。

[笑声]

>> 来吧。你不能一辈子靠父母生活

。

>> 我知道。这就是我

结婚的原因。

让她休息一下。第一次独自生活

很困难。

>> 谢谢。不客气。我记得

当我第一次来到这座城市时。我当时

14 岁。我妈妈刚刚自杀，

我继父又回到监狱了。我在这里

，但我不认识任何人。我

最终和这个白化病人住在一起，他

就像在

港务局外清洁挡风玻璃。然后他自己杀死了

。

然后我发现了芳香疗法。所以

相信我，我完全理解你的感受。

>> 您要查找的单词无论如何都是

。

[笑声]

好吧。你准备好了吗？

>> 我不这么认为。哦，来吧。切，切，

切，切，切，切，切，切，切，切，

切，切，切，切，切，切。

>> 嘿，

[欢呼]

[鼓掌]

欢迎来到现实世界。太糟糕了。

你一定会喜欢的。

>>嗨。

>> 嘿。

>> 听着，我想问你一些关于婚姻的问题

。

>> 哦，太棒了。现在你找我

开玩笑。我的意思是，我可以看看我们是否

都出去玩，但要来我家。

[笑声]

>> 不，我真的想知道你对此有何感受

。

>> 为什么？迈克永远不想

结婚。

>> 从来没有。

>> 从来没有。

>> 哇。好吧，你仍然要搬去

和他一起住吗？

>> 好吧，我想，但我只是想让你

告诉我，婚姻真的不是

那么大事。你知道，我不会

我不会错过任何东西。

婚姻很糟糕。

>> 是的，婚姻很糟糕。

我的意思是，如果你想看到一个男人

体重增加，而女人停止刮胡子，那就让他

结婚吧。 [笑声]

这不是你的真实感受，不是吗？

>> 不，对不起。

>> 听着，我知道这不是你现在想听到的

，但我无法控制。我我

热爱婚姻。

>> 说真的，你这个离婚者。 [笑声]

>> 如果你一定要叫我名字，我更喜欢

离婚者罗斯。只是比较酷而已。

看，看。我知道我的婚姻并没有

完全成功，但你知道，我

喜欢对另一个

人做出承诺。在卡罗尔成为女同性恋之前，我和卡罗尔度过了

次美好时光，之后又度过了

次。

无论如何，我很抱歉。

>> 没关系。这就是你的感受。

>> 但是来吧。我的意思是，住在一起

会很棒。我的意思是，你们

玩得很开心。你爱迈克。

>> 我确实爱迈克。啊，瞧，你之前

搬到一起住时感到非常兴奋。

你知道吗？你应该是的。这是一件

大事。

>> 是的，我想你是对的。

是的，谢谢。这有帮助。谢谢。

>> 离婚者来救援。 [笑声]

>> 这并不酷。

>> 是的，我刚刚听到的。加油，你们

。我自己的电视剧。我只是不知道

我是否足够好。

>> 我是。

>> 乔伊，你在说什么？你是

一位出色的演员。

你真的这么认为吗？

>> 你怎么能问这个问题？

>> 哇，她很漂亮。是的。哦，她也

非常好。她教会了我所有

关于如何使用

摄像机以及闻屁表演的知识。

>> 对不起。

>> 就好像您有太多台词需要学习

，速度如此之快，有时您需要一分钟

才能记住下一句。所以，当

你在思考这个问题的时候，你会

停顿一下，你看起来很紧张，你

知道，就像这样。

>> 好的。

>> 哦，这是我的场景。这是我的场景。

>> 华莱士夫人，我是德雷克·拉莫尔医生，您

姐姐的神经外科医生。你妹妹

患有

>> 我扮演阿尔·普契尼的屁股。

好吧。他去洗澡了

然后我就是他的屁股了。

>> 天啊。

>> 加油，你们。这是一部真实的电影

，阿尔·普契尼也在其中，而且规模很大。

>> 哦，不。太棒了。是你

知道，这是你应得的。经过

年的奋斗，您终于

能够闯入[笑声]

>> 好的。好吧，好吧。开玩笑。我不在乎

。这对我来说是一个重大突破。

>> 不，你是对的。你说得对。这是。

是的。

>> 那么，您要邀请我们所有人参加

盛大的开幕式吗？ [笑声]

>> 好吧。好吧，我要离开这里了。祝

我好运。

>> 祝你好运。 [唱歌] 祝你好运。我们

祝您好运。

>> 是的，无论如何。

>> 约书亚不会在那里。

>> 发生了什么？

>> 嗯，我想我认为他和我分手了

。

>> 不，为什么？

>> 好吧，显然他很容易害怕。

>> [笑声]

>> 对不起。

>> 没关系。

>> 有时

事情并不像你

想象的那样。

>> 来这里。

>> 哦，嘿。你不用去接

艾米丽吗？

>> 是的。

>> 是的。

>> 你还好吗？

>> 是的。我得到了我的女儿们。

>> 嘿，你知道什么能让你高兴起来吗？

>> 什么？

你知道，我必须告诉你，这

确实让我心情更好。

[笑声]

>> 我希望有一份工作可以让我

一直穿着它。 [笑声]

>> 也许有一天会有。

>> 我告诉你一件事。我不介意

分一杯干番茄

生意。五年前，如果有人

对我说，“这是一个西红柿，

看起来像李子，”我会说，“把

从我的办公室带走。[笑声]

爸爸，在我出生之前，你

吓坏了吗？

>>我没有吓坏。我只是说如果

有人带着这个来找我

这个想法

>> 爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，我说的是

呃，宝贝，你有没有感到

这种恐慌，天哪，我

会成为一名父亲？

>> 不。[笑声]

你妈妈真的很忙。 wasn't around

...

that much. Is that what this is about?

>> No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.

>> Cuz it's time to make up for that. We

can do stuff together. You always wanted

to go to that colonial Williamsburg. How

about we do that?

>> Thanks, Dad. Really? I just, you know, I

just I只是[笑声]

我只是想知道。

你什么时候开始感觉自己像个

父亲了？

哦，我猜一定是

你出生后的第二天。你妈妈

...

睡着了，他们把你带进来

你是这个丑陋的小红

。 [笑声]

突然，你用整个拳头抓住了我的

手指，

紧紧地握着

然后我就知道

所以，你不想去

威廉斯堡？[笑声]

>> 好吧，我们可以去威廉斯堡

>> 吃你的鱼。

>> 我对我所说的话感到抱歉。

>> 不。没有。你说得对。这是一个

荒谬的名字。 [笑声]

>> 没那么糟糕。

>> 是的，是的。

从现在开始，我没有名字。

[笑声]

所以你只是 Bing。

我没有名字。

>> 好的。那么我们应该

给您打电话做什么？

>> 好的。呃，现在，你可以暂时

叫我

克林特。

[笑声]

>> 不可能。你足够酷来完成

Clint 吗？

>> 好的。那么我可以用什么名字来

呢？

>> 嗯，让。

[笑声]

>> 这是克林特。已点击。

>> 再见，吉恩。

>> 再见，吉恩。

>> 已点击。点击。

>> 吉恩怎么样了？

>> 鼓声。

>> 好的。好的。好的。

帮助。

>> 我是马克还是约翰？ [笑声]

你的身高不足以成为马克，

>> 但你可能会成为一个很好的巴尼。

>> 好吧，看。我是认真的，好吗？

明天 3:30，我要去

法院。

>> 您实际上正在经历这个。

>> 嘿，看。这个名字一直拖着我

一生，好吗？这可能就是

为什么孩子们在学校里欺负我，也是为什么

我从来不和女人相处得很好。因此，从明天

4:00 开始，我要么成为

马克·约翰逊，要么成为约翰·马森。

[笑声]

>> 你遇到问题是因为你自己，而不是

你的名字。

>> [笑声]

>> 这必须停止。钱德勒是一个

伟大的名字。事实上，

>> 是的，

>> 对不起。我知道你真的想让

我给孩子命名为乔伊，但是所以，我

我要给孩子命名为

钱德勒。

[笑声]

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。但您也必须保留名称

。

>> 好的。谢谢。

>> 好的。

>> 你想拥抱它吗？

>> 是的。

耶！

>> 耶！哦，耶！好的，我现在就去告诉

弗兰克和爱丽丝。

>> 再见，二月。

>> 好的，再见。

>> 生日快乐。

[尖叫]

[笑声]

>> 今天是你的生日。

嘿，[笑声]

她不再像

29 岁时那么漂亮了。[笑声]

>> Green 小姐想在出柜前制定一些

基本规则。如果你不使用

会很感激。 [笑声]

“旧”或“下坡”这些词，或者它们仍然

看起来非常好，她

>> 他们确实如此。

[笑声]

>> 雷切尔，出来吧。莫妮卡做了

早餐。巧克力片煎饼。

>> 我们有礼物。

[笑声]

>> 好的。

>> 它们都来自您两周前交给我们的

清单。 [笑声]

>> 好吧，我可以保留这些礼物而

仍然是 29 岁吗？

>> 来吧，Ra。看吧，30 岁并不是什么大事

。

>> 哦，真的吗？当你

30 岁时，这就是你的感受吗？

>> 为什么，上帝？为什么？

>> 你想纹这个纹身吗？

>> 是的，我愿意。只是罗斯是

>> 好的。嘿。嘿。你的男朋友是你的

老板吗？

不，好的。谁是你的老大？

你。

不，你是你的老板。现在你

将你的heiny带入那里，并将那颗

心纹在你的臀部上。去。

[笑声]

>> 哦，看起来真不错。哦，我喜欢它。我

知道。我也是。哦，菲比。我很高兴

是你让我这么做的。好的，让我看看你的

。

[笑声]

好吧，让我们再看看你的。

宝贝，我们刚刚看到了我的。让我看看你的

。哦好的。

哦，不。噢，已经消失了。那太奇怪了。

我不知道它去了哪里。

[笑声]

>> 你没明白吗？

>> 没有。

>> 你为什么没有得到它？对不起。我很

抱歉，

>> 宝贝。你怎么可以这样对我？这

都是你的主意。

>> 我知道。我知道。我本来打算拿

，但后来他拿着这根

针进来了。就像，你知道他们用针来做

吗？

>> 真的吗？你不说。因为我的是

被小猫舔了。

>> 会很棒的。你只是让她认为

你想和她发生性关系。它会完全弄清楚

。

>> 好的，听着。我要让

陪她走多远？

>> 放松。她会在你之前让步

。

>> 你怎么知道？因为你是我的

团队的一员，而我的团队总是在这方面获胜

>>。 [笑声]

去买一些吧。去。

>> 好的，亲爱的。不，我要尝试

从这里聆听。

>> 好的。

>> 好的。哦，等等。

>> 好主意。

>> 是的。哦，等等。不要放弃

农场。好的，[笑声]

>> 菲比。

钱德勒，

>> 进来吧。[笑声]

>> 我正要去。

>> 嗯，我带了一些酒。您想要

一些吗？

>> 当然。

[笑声]

>> 所以，我们到了。

>> 紧张？

>> 我？不，你呢？

>> 不。我希望这发生。 [笑声]

我也是。

>> 无论如何，只是两周的事情。我只是

不想让事情以这种方式结束，你

知道。

>> 或者也许您不希望它结束​​。

>> 你是什么意思？

>> 你看起来真的很喜欢她。

>> 是的，我真的这么做。

>> 是的，但是我该怎么办？我的意思是，

我们都同意这将是

两周的事情，你知道，没有承诺。

>> 罗斯，

那个女孩刚刚花了整个晚上

和你的朋友聊天，

要求听听关于你的故事，

浏览莫妮卡的相册。

我的意思是，如果你只是

两周，你就不会这样做。

>> 你觉得呢？

>> 是的。

你还有大约 14 个小时，直到她

到达机场，而你

坐在走廊里，身边坐着一位 28 岁、嘴唇肥厚的

啦啦队长。

[笑声]

>> 是的，你说得对。

>> 是的。

>> 谢谢。

>> 只是现在它们就在我体内，

就像

就好像我认识它们，你知道，而且

这并不容易

当您知道这些小婴儿要

离开时。

>> 我知道，亲爱的。

但这并不是说您不会

拥有任何东西。我的意思是，你将

有侄女和侄子。从某些方面来说，

甚至更好。

>> 是的。好的。

>> 不，真的。真的，二月。我的意思是，你

不会担心

为上大学存钱，或者在他们表现不好时对他们大喊大叫

，你知道，或者决定

在他们

无法平静下来时让他们上rolin，

你知道吗？我的意思是，当他们想要

来找的人，也是他们

离家出走时，你将成为他们

谈论性的人。你只要变得很酷

菲比阿姨。

>> 酷阿姨菲比。 [笑声]

>> 我很酷。

>> 哦，

>> 是的。你知道还有什么吗？我的天啊。

他们会爱你吗？

>> 他们会爱我的。

>> 谢谢你们#{27​​} >> 再次。

...

亲爱的，

>>谢谢。

>> 哦，什么？天啊。只是在开玩笑。

>> 什么？我的天啊。噢，又遇见你了。

你真简单。

>> 当您稍后有时间时，我想

向您展示为什么我们不只是将蜘蛛

困在咖啡杯下并将它们留在那里。

>> [笑声]

>> 我正在接受培训，以便在

我讨厌的工作上做得更好。我的生活正式很糟糕。

>> 但是Ra，这不应该是

暂时的事情吗？我以为你想

做时尚的事情。

>> 嗯，是的。我仍在追求这一点。

>> 您具体是如何实现这一目标的？你

知道，除了发送简历

就像呃，两年前？

哦，好吧，我也发出了

好的想法。

[笑声]

>> 如果你问我，只要你得到了这份

工作，就没有什么理由促使你去寻找另一份

工作。你需要恐惧。

>> 恐惧？

>> 他是对的。如果您辞掉这份工作，您

就会有动力去寻找一份工作

你真正想要的。

>> 好吧，那你为什么还在从事你讨厌的

工作呢？我的意思是，你为什么不

退出并接受恐惧呢？ [笑声]

因为我太害怕了。

>> 我不知道。我的意思是，我愿意付出

任何东西来为设计师（你

知道）或买家工作。

>> 我只是不想到了 30 岁了还

在这里工作。

>> 是的，这比 28 岁

仍然在这里工作要糟糕得多。

>> 雷切尔。

>> 是的。

>> 提醒我和您一起回顾一下

哪壶是不含咖啡因的，哪壶是普通壶。

[笑声]

>> 我不能只看

上的手柄吗？你可能会想。

>> 好吧，[笑声] 好吧。冈瑟，你知道

什么吗？我是一个糟糕的女服务员。你

知道为什么我是一个糟糕的女服务员吗？

因为我不在乎。我不在乎。我

不在乎哪一壶是普通壶，

哪一壶是无咖啡因的。我不在乎

托盘位置在哪里。我只是不在乎。

这不是我想做的。

所以，我认为我不应该再这样做

。

>> 我将向您发出一周的通知。

>> 什么？

>> 冈瑟。我不干了。

我昨晚做了一个梦，梦见我

和我的孩子一起踢足球。

>> 哦，很好。

>> 太好了。

>> 不，不，和他在一起。

我在这片田野上，他们给我徒步

孩子。

我知道我必须做点什么

因为坦帕湾的防守正在

向我袭来。

>> 坦帕湾队有一支糟糕的球队，

>> 对吧？但是

[笑声]

只有我和宝宝。所以我

认为他们可以带走我们。

所以我呃我只是讨厌前场。

>> 你觉得怎么样？那是一个婴儿。

>> 他应该接受解雇。 [笑声]

>> 不管怎样，突然我就到了前场，我

意识到我就是那个应该

抓住他的人，对吧？只有我知道

我不可能在

时间内到达那里，对吧？所以，我正在跑步，我正在

跑步，就在那时我醒来了。

看，我还没有准备好成为一名父亲。

>> 嘿，你会没事的。

>> 你是北美最有爱心、最

负责任的男人之一。

[笑声]

你会成为一个伟大的父亲。

>> 是的，罗斯。你和宝宝只需要

更好的阻挡。

>> 嘿，采访进行得怎么样？

>> 不好。你知道，面试后我总是有这种感觉

。我敢打赌，它比你想象的要好

。

>> 好吧，我没有得到 Gucci 的工作，

我被 Ralph Lauren 解雇了。

>> 这是一次糟糕的采访。 [笑声]

>> 你在说什么？

这是怎么发生的？

>> 嗯，我的老板就在我面试的同一家餐厅

，他

听到了一切。所以，后来他打电话给我

到他的办公室，他告诉我

他必须让我走，因为

我不是一个团队合作者。我说，“等一下

分钟。不，是的，我是。”然后我让

坐在那里45分钟，而他

证明这确实是真的。

[笑声]

>> 天哪，我很抱歉。

>> 嘿，什么

这是什么？

这是一瓶香槟。为什么

在这里，

>> 罗斯？

>> 我想它在这里是因为我获得了终身教职。

>> 恭喜。

>> 恭喜。这是我职业生涯中

最伟大的一天。

Gunther，六节课。

>> 六？你想让我加入吗？

>> 哦，我以为乔伊在这里。五

很好。 [笑声]

明天我的咖啡里要加一杯 lugie

。 [笑声]

>> 哦，以色列香槟。

这是香草。 [笑声]

>> 我获得了终身教职。我没有中彩票。

>> 嘿，里奇。那么，呃，你的

进展得怎么样？哦，这很好。是的，但在

听到这个消息。

天内我不会

>> 哦，你知道吗？您将获得

。我我我我能感觉到。

>> 你可以吗？

[音乐]

[英语]

Hey Kiki,

[laughter]

>> what are you doing? Just trying to get

comfortable. Can't sleep in my

underwear.

>> Well, you're going to

[laughter]

I've been thinking, you know, about how

I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.

Are they end to end or tall like

pancakes? [laughter]

You know what I mean about how I'm

always going out with all these women?

Cuz I always figured when the right one

comes along, I'll be able to be a

standup guy and go the distance. You

know, I'm looking at my dad thinking,

"Hey, you're not him. You're you."

When they were all over you to go into

your father's pipe fitting business, did

you cave?

>> No.

>> No. You decided to go into the out of

work actor business. [laughter]

Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.

And I'd like to believe that when the

right woman comes along, you will have

the courage and the guts to say, "No

thanks. I'm married. [laughter]

You

>> really think so?"

>> Yeah, I really do.

>> Thanks, Chandler.

>> Get off.

>> Hey, baby. Can I talk to you for a

second?

>> Sure. Okay. Um, I [laughter]

Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that

I'm sorry, okay? I handled the situation

horribly and and I should not have lied

to you.

>> So, what should you have done?

>> Well, I I should have told you the

truth.

>> Uhhuh. which is

well, you know, the reason that I didn't

want to go running with you is because

um well, you know, the way that you run

is just a little

[laughter]

>> So, well, it's embarrassing. People were

looking at us like we were crazy.

>> Why do you care? Because they're people.

But people that you don't know and will

never see again.

>> Yes, but still they are people with

eyes.

>> [laughter]

>> Well, I didn't get embarrassed running

next to Miss.

[laughter]

>> But Oh, okay. No, no, I can see why

running with me would be embarrassing to

you. Yeah. Okay. You're uptight.

>> What? I am not up.

Listen, I am not uptight, man.

[laughter]

>> That's okay, Rachel. I'm not judging

you. That's just who you are. me, I'm

more freak, you know. I run like I did

when I was a kid because it's the only

way it's fun, you know? I mean, didn't

you ever run so fast you thought your

legs were going to fall off? You know,

like when you were like running toward

the swings or or running away from

Satan,

[laughter]

the neighbor's dog.

>> [laughter]

[screaming]

>> I'm so sorry. You're right. This feels

great.

>> See, and you don't care if people ARE

STARING. IT'S JUST FOR A SECOND CUZ THEN

YOU'RE GONE.

>> GOD, IT'S AMAZING. I feel so free and SO

GRACEFUL. [laughter]

HEY, look out for the horse.

>> You are falling fast asleep.

Deeper, deeper, deeper. You are now

completely asleep. You don't need to

smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You

are a strong, confident woman who does

not need to smoke. A strong, confident

woman.

>> [laughter]

[cheering]

[laughter]

[music]

>> Hey, listen to me. It's like all of my

life, everyone has always told me,

"You're a shoe. You're a shoe. You're a

shoe. You're a shoe." And then today, I

just stopped and I said, "What if I

don't want to be a shoe? What if I want

to be a a purse?" You know, or or or a

hat. [laughter]

No, I don't want you to buy me a hat.

I'm saying that I am a hat. It's a

metaphor. Daddy, [laughter]

>> you can see where he'd have trouble.

[laughter]

>> Look, Daddy, it's my life.

Well, well, maybe I'll just stay here

with Monica.

[laughter]

>> Well, I guess we've established you

staying here with Monica.

[laughter]

>> Well, maybe that's my decision.

Well, maybe I don't need your money.

Wait, wait. I said maybe.

>> Guess what?

>> You got a job.

>> Are you kidding? I'm trained for

nothing.

>> I was laughed at 12 interviews today.

>> And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.

>> Well, you would be too if you found Joan

and David boots on sale, 50% off.

>> Oh, how well you know me.

>> They're my new I don't need a job. I

don't need my parents. I've got great

boots. Boots.

How'd you pay for them?

>> Uh, credit card. Mhm.

>> And who pays for that?

>> Um, my father.

[laughter]

>> Come on. You can't live off your parents

your whole life.

>> I know that. That's why I was getting

married.

Give her a break. It's hard being on

your own for the first time.

>> Thank you. You're welcome. I remember

when I first came to this city. I was

14. My mom had just killed herself and

my stepdad was back in prison. And I got

here and I didn't know anybody. And I

ended up living with this albino guy who

was like cleaning windshields outside

Port Authority. And then he killed

himself.

And then I found aroma therapy. So

believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

>> The word you're looking for is

anyway.

[laughter]

All right. You ready?

>> I don't think so. Oh, come on. Cut, cut,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

>> Hey,

[cheering]

[applause]

welcome to the real world. It sucks.

You're going to love it.

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Listen, I wanted to ask you something

about marriage.

>> Oh, great. Now you're seeking me out to

make jokes. I mean, I can see if we're

all hanging out, but to come to my home.

[laughter]

>> No, I really want to know how you feel

about it.

>> Why? Mike doesn't ever want to get

married.

>> Never.

>> Never.

>> Wow. Well, you're still going to move in

with him?

>> Well, I want to, but I just wanted you

to tell me that marriage really isn't

that big a deal. You know, that I won't

I won't be missing out on anything. That

marriage stinks.

>> Yeah, marriage stinks.

I mean, if you want to see a man gain

weight and a woman stop shaving, get him

married. [laughter]

That's not how you really feel, is it?

>> No, I'm sorry.

>> Look, I I know it's not what you want to

hear right now, but I can't help it. I I

love marriage.

>> Seriously, you divorceo. [laughter]

>> If you have to call me a name, I prefer

Ross the divorcer. It's just cooler.

Look, look. I know my marriages didn't

exactly work out, but you know, I I

loved being that committed to another

person. And Carol and I had some good

times before she became a lesbian and

once afterward.

Anyway, I'm I'm sorry.

>> It's okay. That's how you feel.

>> But come on. I mean, living together

will be great. I mean, you guys have so

much fun. And you love Mike.

>> I do love Mike. Ah, see, and you were so

excited about moving in together before.

And you know what? You should be. It's a

big deal.

>> Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.

>> The divorcer to the rescue. [laughter]

>> It's not cooler.

>> Yeah, I just heard it. Come on, you

guys. My own TV show. I just I don't

know if I'm good enough.

>> I am.

>> Joey, what are you talking about? You're

a terrific actor.

You really think so?

>> How can you even ask that question?

>> Whoa, she's pretty. Yeah. Oh, and she's

really nice, too. She taught me all

about, you know, how to work with the

cameras and smell the fart acting.

>> I'm sorry.

>> It's like you got so many lines to learn

so fast that sometimes you need a minute

to remember your next one. So, while

you're thinking of it, you take this big

pause where you look all intense, you

know, like this.

>> Okay.

>> Oh, here's my scene. Here's my scene.

>> Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramore, your

sister's neurosurgeon. Your sister is

suffering from a

>> I play Al Puccini's butt.

All right. He goes into the shower and

then I'm his butt.

>> Oh my god.

>> Come on, you guys. This is a real movie

and Al Puccini's in it and that's big.

>> Oh, no. It's terrific. It's It's You

know, you deserve this. After all your

years of struggling, you've finally been

able to crack your way into [laughter]

>> Okay. Okay, fine. Make jokes. I don't

care. This is a big break for me.

>> No, you're right. You're right. It is.

Yeah.

>> So, you're going to invite us all to the

big opening? [laughter]

>> All right. Well, I'm out of here. Wish

me luck.

>> Good luck. [singing] Good luck. We all

wish you good luck.

>> Yeah, whatever.

>> Joshua was not going to be there.

>> What happened?

>> Um, well, I think I think he broke up

with me.

>> No. Why?

>> Well, apparently he scares easy.

>> [laughter]

>> I'm sorry.

>> It's okay.

>> Sometimes

things don't work out the way you

thought they would.

>> Come here.

>> Oh, hey. Don't you have to go pick up

Emily?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Are you okay?

>> Yeah. I got my girls.

>> Hey, you know what might cheer you up?

>> What?

You know, I got to tell you, this really

does put me in a better mood.

[laughter]

>> I wish there was a job where I could

wear this all the time. [laughter]

>> Maybe someday there will be.

>> I'll tell you one thing. I wouldn't mind

having a piece of this sundried tomato

business. Five years ago, if somebody

had said to me, "Here's a tomato that

looks like a prune," I'd have said, "Get

out of my office. [laughter]

Dad, before I was born, did you freak

out at all?

>> I'm not freaking out. I'm just saying if

someone had come to me with the idea of

this.

>> Dad, Dad, Dad, I'm talking about the

whole uh baby thing. Did you uh ever get

this sort of panicky, oh my god, I'm

going to be a father kind of a thing?

>> No. [laughter]

Your mother really did the work. I was

busy with the business. I wasn't around

that much. Is that what this is about?

>> No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.

>> Cuz it's time to make up for that. We

can do stuff together. You always wanted

to go to that colonial Williamsburg. How

about we do that?

>> Thanks, Dad. Really? I just, you know, I

just I just [laughter]

I just needed to know. Um,

when did you start to feel like a

father?

Oh, well, I I guess it must have been

the day after you were born. We were in

the hospital room. Your mother was

asleep, and they brought you in and gave

you to me. You were this ugly little red

thing. [laughter]

And all of a sudden, you grabbed my

finger with your whole fist and you

squeezed it so tight.

And that's when I knew

So, you don't want to go to

Williamsburg? [laughter]

>> Well, we can go to Williamsburg.

>> Eat your fish.

>> I am sorry about what I said.

>> Nope. Nope. You're right. It is a

ridiculous name. [laughter]

>> It's not that bad.

>> Yes, it is.

From now on, I have no first name.

[laughter]

So you're just Bing.

I have no name.

>> All right. So what are we supposed to

call you?

>> Okay. Uh for now, temporarily, you can

call me

Clint.

[laughter]

>> No way. Are you cool enough to pull off

Clint?

>> Okay. So what name am I cool enough to

pull off?

>> Um Jean.

[laughter]

>> It's Clint. It's clicked.

>> See you later, Jean.

>> Bye, Jean.

>> It's clicked. Clicked.

>> What's up with Jean?

>> Drum roll.

>> Okay. Okay. All right.

Help.

>> Am I a Mark or a John? [laughter]

You're not tall enough to be a Mark,

>> but you might make a good Barney.

>> All right, look. I am serious, okay?

Tomorrow at 3:30, I'm going down to the

courthouse.

>> You're actually going through with this.

>> Hey, look. This name has been holding me

back my entire life, okay? It's probably

why kids picked on me in school and why

I never do well with women. So, as of

4:00 tomorrow, I'm either going to be

Mark Johnson or John Marson.

[laughter]

>> You've got problems because of you, NOT

YOUR NAME.

>> [laughter]

>> THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. Chandler is a

great name. In fact,

>> yes,

>> I'm I'm sorry. I know you really wanted

me to name the baby Joey, but So, I'm

I'm going to I'm going to name the baby

Chandler.

[laughter]

>> Really?

>> Yeah. But you have to keep the name,

too.

>> Okay. Thanks.

>> Okay.

>> You want to hug it out?

>> Yeah.

Yay!

>> Yay! Oh, yay! Okay, I got to go tell

Frank and Alice right now.

>> Bye, Febs.

>> Okay, BYE.

>> Happy birthday.

[screaming]

[laughter]

>> IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

HEY, [laughter]

she's not as pretty as she was when she

was 29. [laughter]

>> Miss Green would like to establish some

ground rules before she comes out. She

would appreciate it if you didn't use

the words old or downhill or they still

look pretty damn good. [laughter]

>> They do.

[laughter]

>> Rachel, come on out. Monica made

breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes.

>> We've got presents.

[laughter]

>> Good ones.

>> They all came from the list you handed

out to us two weeks ago. [laughter]

>> Well, can I keep the presents and still

be 29?

>> Come on, Ra. Look, turning 30 is not

that big a deal.

>> Oh, really? Is that how you felt when

you turned 30?

>> WHY, GOD? WHY?

>> YOU WANT TO get this tattoo?

>> Yes, I do. It's just that Ross is

>> Okay. Hey. Hey. Is your boyfriend the

boss of you?

No. Okay. Who is the boss of you?

You.

No. You are the boss of you. Now you

march your heiny in there and get that

heart tattooed on your hip. Go.

[laughter]

>> Oh, it looks so good. Oh, I love it. I

know. So do I. Oh, Phoebe. I'm so glad

you made me do this. Okay, let me see

yours.

[laughter]

Okay, let's see yours again.

Baby, we just saw mine. Let me see

yours. Oh, okay.

Oh, no. Oh, it's gone. That's so weird.

I don't know how where it went.

[laughter]

>> You didn't get it?

>> No.

>> Why didn't you get it? I'm sorry. I'm

sorry,

>> baby. How could you do this to me? This

was all your idea.

>> I know. I know. And I was going to get

it, but then he came in with this

needle. And like, did you know they do

this with needles?

>> Really? You don't say. Because mine was

licked on by kittens.

>> It'll be great. You just make her think

you want to have sex with her. It'll

totally figure out.

>> Okay, listen. How far am I going to have

to go with her?

>> Relax. She's going to give in way before

you do.

>> How do you know? Because you're on my

team and my team always wins

>> at this. [laughter]

Just go get some. Go.

>> Okay, honey. No, I'm going to try to

listen from right here.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Oh, wait.

>> Good idea.

>> Yeah. Oh, wait. Don't give away the

farm. Okay, [laughter]

>> Phoebe.

Chandler,

>> come on in. [laughter]

>> I was going to.

>> Um, I brought some wine. Would you like

some?

>> Sure.

[laughter]

>> So, here we are.

>> Nervous?

>> Me? No. You?

>> No. I want this to happen. [laughter]

So do I.

>> Just a two week thing anyway. I just

didn't want it to end this way, you

know.

>> Or maybe you didn't want it to end.

>> What do you mean?

>> You seem to really like her.

>> Yeah, I really do.

>> Yeah, but what am I going to do? I mean,

we we both agreed it was going to be a

two week thing, you know, no commitment.

>> Ross,

that girl just spent the entire evening

talking to your friends,

asking to hear stories about you,

looking through Monica's photo albums.

I mean, you don't do that if you're just

in it for two weeks.

>> You think?

>> Yeah.

You've got like 14 hours until she has

to be at the airport and you're sitting

here in a hallway with a 28-year-old

cheerleader with a fat lip.

[laughter]

>> Yeah, you're right.

>> Yeah.

>> Thanks.

>> It's just that now that they're in me,

it's like

It's like I know them, you know, and and

it's just not it's not going to be easy

when you know these little babies have

to go away.

>> I know, sweetie.

But it's not like you're not going to

have anything. I mean, you're going to

have nieces and nephews. In some ways,

that's even better.

>> Yeah. Okay.

>> No, really. Really, Feb. I mean, you're

not going to be the one worrying about

saving for college or yelling at them

when they're bad, you know, or deciding

to put them on rolin when they just

won't calm down,

you know? I mean, you're going to be the

one that they come to when they want to

run away from home and the one they talk

to about sex. You just get to be cool

Aunt Phoebe.

>> Cool Aunt Phoebe. [laughter]

>> I am pretty cool.

>> Oh,

>> yeah. And you know what else? Oh my god.

Are they going to love you?

>> They are going to love me.

>> Thanks you guys

>> again.

Sweetie,

>> thanks.

>> Oh, what? Oh god. Just kidding.

>> What? Oh my god. Oh, got you again.

You're so easy.

>> When you have a second later, I want to

show you why we don't just trap spiders

under coffee mugs and leave them there.

>> [laughter]

>> I'm training to be better at a job that

I hate. My life officially sucks.

>> But Ra, wasn't it supposed to be a

temporary thing? I thought you wanted to

do fashion stuff.

>> Well, yeah. I'm still pursuing that.

>> How exactly are you pursuing that? You

know, other than sending out resumes

like uh what, two years ago?

Oh, well, I'm also sending out

good thoughts.

[laughter]

>> If you ask me, as long as you got this

job, you got nothing pushing you to get

another one. You need the fear.

>> The fear?

>> He's right. If you quit this job, you

then have motivation to go after a job

you really want.

>> Well, then how come you're still at a

job that you hate? I mean, why don't you

quit and get the fear? [laughter]

because I'm too afraid.

>> I don't know. I mean, I would give

anything to work for a designer, you

know, or a buyer.

>> I just don't want to be 30 and still

work here.

>> Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28

and still working here.

>> Rachel.

>> Yeah.

>> Remind me to review with you which pot

is decaf and which is regular.

[laughter]

>> Can't I just look at the handles on

them? You would think.

>> Okay, [laughter] fine. Gunther, you know

what? I am a terrible waitress. Do you

know why I am a terrible waitress?

Because I don't care. I don't care. I

don't care which pot is regular and

which pot is decaf. I don't care where

the tray spot is. I just don't care.

This is not what I want to do.

So, I don't think I should do it

anymore.

>> I'm going to give you my week's notice.

>> What?

>> Gunther. I quit.

I had a dream last night where I was

playing football with my kid.

>> Oh, it's nice.

>> That's nice.

>> No, no, with him.

I'm on this field and they they hike me

the baby.

And I I know I've got to do something

cuz the Tampa Bay defense is coming

right at me.

>> Tampa Bay has got a terrible team,

>> right? But

[laughter]

it is just me and the baby. So I'm

thinking they can take us.

And so I uh I just hate it downfield.

>> What do you think? That's a baby.

>> He should take the sack. [laughter]

>> Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield and I

realize that I'm the one who's supposed

to catch him, right? only I know there

is no way I'm going to get there in

time, right? So, I am running and I'm

running and that that is when I woke up.

See, I I am so not ready to be a father.

>> Hey, you're going to be fine.

>> You're one of the most caring, most

responsible men in North America.

[laughter]

You're going to make a great dad.

>> Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need

better blocking.

>> Hey, how'd the interview go?

>> Not good. You know, I always feel that

way after an interview. I'll bet it went

better than you think.

>> Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and

I got fired from Ralph Lauren.

>> That is a bad interview. [laughter]

>> What are you What are you talking about?

How'd this happen?

>> Well, my boss was at the same restaurant

where I was having my interview and he

heard everything. So, later he calls me

into his office and he tells me that

he's going to have to let me go because

I'm not a team player. And I say, "Wait

a minute. No, yes I am." And then I had

to sit there for 45 minutes while he

proved that that in fact was true.

[laughter]

>> Oh god, I'm so sorry.

>> Hey, what

what's this?

It's a It's a bottle of champagne. Why

is this here,

>> Ross?

>> I guess it's here because I got tenure.

>> Congratulations.

>> Congratulations. This is the single

greatest day of my professional career.

Gunther, six classes.

>> Six? You want me to join?

>> Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is

good. [laughter]

I'm going to have a lugie in my coffee

tomorrow. [laughter]

>> Ooh, Israeli champagne.

And it's vanilla. [laughter]

>> I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.

>> Hey, Rich. So, uh, how did your thing

go? Oh, it's good. Yeah, but I'm not

going to hear about that for a couple of

days.

>> Oh, you know what? You're going to get

it. I I I I can feel it.

>> Can you?

[music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
comfortable /ˈkʌmfətəbəl/ A2	adjective - 舒适的
underwear /ˈʌndərˌwɛr/ B1	noun - 内衣
courage /ˈkʌrɪdʒ/ B2	noun - 勇气
guts /gʌts/ B2	noun - 胆量
marriage /ˈmærɪdʒ/ B1	noun - 婚姻
embarrass /ɪmˈbærəs/ B2	verb - 使尴尬
uptight /ˈʌpˌtaɪt/ B2	adjective - 紧绷的
freak /friːk/ B2	noun - 怪人
confident /ˈkɒnfɪdənt/ B2	adjective - 自信的
metaphor /ˈmɛtəfɔːr/ C1	noun - 隐喻
tenure /ˈtɛnjʊr/ C1	noun - 任期
interview /ˈɪntəvjuː/ B1	noun - 面试
career /kəˈrɪər/ B1	noun - 职业
champagne /ʃæmˈpeɪn/ B2	noun - 香槟酒
aromatherapy /ˌærəməˈθɛrəpi/ C1	noun - 芳香疗法
committed /kəˈmɪtɪd/ B2	adjective - 投入的
responsible /rɪˈspɒnsəbl/ B2	adjective - 有责任感的

重点语法结构

• I've been thinking, you know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.

  ➔ 现在完成进行时 (have/has been + -ing)

  ➔ “I've been thinking” 使用现在完成进行时，强调从过去开始持续到现在的动作。

• You know what I mean about how I'm always going out with all these women?

  ➔ 尾随问句 (You know what I mean...?)

  ➔ “You know what I mean?” 是尾随问句，用于向听者寻求确认或同意。

• When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe fitting business, did you cave?

  ➔ 过去进行时 (were + -ing) + 过去简单时 (did + 原形)

  ➔ 这句话结合了过去进行时 ("were all over you") 描述背景动作，和过去简单时 ("did you cave") 询问具体事件。

• Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.

  ➔ 倒装强调 (but + 助动词 + 主语)

  ➔ 这句话使用倒装 ("but you did it") 强调尽管有困难但仍取得成就。

• You're going to have a lugie in my coffee tomorrow.

  ➔ 用 'be going to' 表示将来

  ➔ “You're going to have” 使用 'be going to' 表示基于现在证据或意图的将来动作。