Word Crimes

♪ HEY ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ HUNH, HUNH ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ UNH ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ HUNH ♪

WHOO!

♪ CHECK ME OUT ♪

♪ IF YOU CAN'T WRITE

IN THE PROPER WAY ♪

>> ♪ IF YOU DON'T KNOW

HOW TO CONJUGATE ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU FLUNKED THAT CLASS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ AND MAYBE NOW YOU FIND ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ THAT PEOPLE MOCK YOU ONLINE ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ OKAY, NOW HERE'S THE DEAL:

♪ GONNA FAMILIARIZE

>> ♪ OOH, YOW! ♪

>> ♪ YOU'LL LEARN THE

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ OF NOUNS AND PREPOSITIONS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ LITERACY'S

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ AND THAT'S WHY I THINK

IT'S A GOOD TIME

TO LEARN SOME GRAMMAR ♪

♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ NOW, DID I STAMMER? ♪

♪ WORK ON THAT GRAMMAR ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ IT'S "LESS" OR IT'S "FEWER" ♪

♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

♪ LIKE PEOPLE WHO WERE... ♪

♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ ...NEVER RAISED IN A SEWER ♪

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES,

LIKE "I COULD CARE LESS" ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ THAT MEANS YOU DO CARE ♪

♪ WHOA-OH-OH-OH ♪

♪ AT LEAST A LITTLE ♪

♪ DON'T BE A MORON ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ YOU'D BETTER SLOW DOWN ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ AND USE THE RIGHT PRONOUN ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ SHOW THE WORLD

YOU'RE NO CLOWN ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ SAY YOU'VE GOT AN I-T,

FOLLOWED BY APOSTROPHE S ♪

♪ NOW, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? ♪

♪ YOU WOULD NOT USE "IT'S"

AS A POSSESSIVE ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO ♪

♪ IT'S A CONTRACTION ♪

♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! ♪

♪ WHAT'S A CONTRACTION? ♪

WELL, IT'S THE SHORTENING OF A

WORD OR GROUP OF WORDS BY

OMISSION OF A SOUND OR LETTER.

♪ OKAY, NOW HERE ARE SOME

♪ SYNTAX YOU'RE ALWAYS

MANGLING ♪

♪ NO "X" IN "ESPRESSO" ♪

♪ YOUR PARTICIPLE'S DANGLING ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T WANT YOUR DRAMA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ IF YOU REALLY WANNA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ LEAVE OUT THAT OXFORD COMMA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

"BE," "SEE," "ARE," "YOU"

ARE WORDS, NOT LETTERS ♪

♪ GET IT TOGETHER ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ USE YOUR SPELL-CHECKER ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD NEVER... ♪

♪ WHOA, NO ♪

♪ ...WRITE WORDS USING NUMBERS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ UNLESS YOU'RE 7 ♪

♪ YEAH, HEY ♪

♪ OR YOUR NAME IS PRINCE ♪

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES ♪

♪ THEM CRIMES ♪

♪ YOU REALLY NEED A... ♪

♪ I HATE THEM CRIMES ♪

♪ ...FULL-TIME PROOFREADER ♪

♪ I MEAN, THOSE CRIMES ♪

♪ YOU DUMB MOUTHBREATHER ♪

♪ WELL, YOU SHOULD HIRE ♪

♪ WHOA, HIRE ♪

♪ SOME CUNNING LINGUIST ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, YEAH ♪

♪ TO HELP YOU DISTINGUISH

WHAT IS PROPER ENGLISH ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ ONE THING I ASK OF YOU ♪

IS PAST DUE ♪

♪ LEARN TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE,

TOO ♪

♪ ALWAYS SAY "TO WHOM";

DON'T EVER SAY "TO WHO" ♪

♪ AND LISTEN UP WHEN I TELL YOU

THIS ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU NEVER USE QUOTATION

MARKS FOR EMPHASIS ♪

♪ YOU FINISHED SECOND GRADE ♪

IF YOU'RE DOING GOOD OR DOING

WELL ♪

♪ BETTER FIGURE OUT

THE DIFFERENCE ♪

♪ IRONY IS NOT COINCIDENCE ♪

♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU'D

GOTTEN IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL ♪

♪ 'BOUT WHAT'S FIGURATIVE AND

WHAT'S LITERAL ♪

♪ OH, BUT JUST NOW ♪

♪ JUST NOW ♪

♪ YOU SAID ♪

♪ YOU SAID ♪

♪ YOU "LITERALLY COULDN'T

GET OUT OF BED" ♪

♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ THAT REALLY MAKES ME WANT TO

LITERALLY SMACK A CROWBAR

UPSIDE YOUR STUPID HEAD ♪

♪ I READ YOUR E-MAIL ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ IT'S QUITE APPARENT ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ YOUR GRAMMAR'S ERRANT ♪

♪ YOU'RE INCOHERENT ♪

♪ SAW YOUR BLOG POST ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ OH, IT WAS ♪

♪ THAT WAS SARCASTIC ♪

♪ AW, PSYCH ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU WRITE LIKE A

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ YOUR PROSE IS DOPEY ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ THINK YOU SHOULD ONLY... ♪

♪ WHOA-OH ♪

♪ ...WRITE IN EMOJI ♪

♪ OH, YOU'RE A LOST CAUSE ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ GET OUT OF THE GENE POOL ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ TRY YOUR BEST TO NOT DROOL ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

>> NEVER MIND. I GIVE UP.

>> ♪ WHOO ♪

>> REALLY NOW, I GIVE UP.

>> ♪ WHOO ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ GO AWAY ♪