– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I could do my "Eliza Doolittle"  before she was civilized" walk.  

Hello, governor. - Wow, that was just  

ugly. I wish I hadn't seen it. All right, just watch me.  

Your lack of apartment knowledge  is really starting to piss me off.  

We have to show him right now  not to screw us. I need paper.  

- What are you doing? I  mean, besides over-reacting?  

- Writing a threatening note. - "I have an unregistered gun and  

can shoot you through the floor"? You're coming in really hot,  

Max. We're not giving him this. - What's he look like?  

- He's got his finger over the peephole. - Okay, game on. Back up! This is my  

building, I've got to take it back. - Max, this is life, not call of duty:  

Modern warfare 3. - Move. WHAT?  

- What is meaning of this  horrible, horrible note?  

- Oh, you're not a man? - What kind of question  

is this? Do I look like a man? - No, but you clump around up there like a man.  

- Max, please. - Did you write  

this horrible, horrible note? - I did. - First day in my new home and I'm given  

this horrible, horrible note, with threats. - Well, they're not actually threats.  

- "I will gut you like a hog." - That's pure. How much for ten?  

- I know I said 250 earlier, but…  - Bullcrap! 150 or we walk, bitch!  

- Okay, let's all just calm down.  It's a really good deal, Max.  

- How about we settle at 200 and call it a night? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. About that. I be getting mad  

offers for these things tonight. I actually got to raise it to 300,  

or I walk. Bitch! Ooh, ow, ow, ooh, your hands are cold.  

- What'd you call me? - Nothing.  - That's what I thought!  

She said 200, we'll pay 200! And you'll take it. You'll shove it in this "hanes her way" hoodie  

you're wearing, you'll say, "Thank you Max" and  you'll hit the bricks, capisce? Caroline, cash.  

- Thank you, Max. - What'd  you say? - Thank you, Max!  

I've got the chills now, do you guys serve tea? - Oh, I feel so much better.  

Nicolas is not going to leave her. - No, why would he leave her for you? - Well,  

you don't have to be nasty about it. - Waitress? Dude?  

- Hi, what can I get ya? - We need some... - Is that annoying? Is that obnoxious and rude?  

Would you find it distracting if someone  did that to you while you were working? Oh,  

you don't have a job. Sorry. - Damn dude, she burned you.  

- Oh No, hipster. Do not think we're on  the same team. We have nothing in common.  

I wear knit hats when it's cold out.  You wear knit hats 'cause of Coldplay.  

You have tattoos to piss off your  dad, my dad doesn't know he's my dad.  

And finally… You think… This is the sound  that gets you service. I think… This is  

the sound that dries up my vagina. - The other waitress disappeared,  

the Russian one. We need horseradish. - Please. - That ladies, is how you treat a waitress.  

- Can I see the receipt? As manager of the jewelry department,  

I couldn't possibly return a ring that you bought…  At least three years ago without a receipt.  

You wouldn't want me to lose my job  again, would you? I got this, Donna.  

And so sorry to hear about your father  being a criminal, and you being penniless  

and all that ugliness. But it is kinda karma. You are where you are now, and I'm back on top.  

- Look, jeffrey, I know we just met,  but there's no way you're a top.  

- Chasing guys, eating pie, having fun. - This table is sticky! Run a damp rag  

across it! - Would it kill you to clean  a little? What kinda place is this?  

- The kind that serves soup cold. -  And what's with your crazy earrings?  

What are you, some kinda gypsy? - Whoa! Hold up, ladies. You don't  

get a bitch pass just 'cause you're old. Yes, that's right. I said it. You come in  

here with your gangster granny attitude,  think you can get away with dumping all  

over the lowly gypsy waitress. No way. At this diner, we don't  

discriminate due to age. If you're gonna act  

like an ass, I'm gonna treat you like an ass… No  matter how close that ass is riding to the floor.  

Now, I'll wipe off the table  we'll take it from the top.  

Hi, I'm Max. Who wants tapioca? That's more like it. Save the  

disappointment for the grandkids. - 2 Chainz is the man. He sings my  

anthem. - We represent the lollipop guild? - I'm talking about his ode to big booty  

hos. - Birthday Song is my song.  - No,Birthday Songis my song.  

- Every morningin the shower I rap ♪ All I  want for my birthday is a big booty ho ♪  

- Wow, that actually makes you look whiter. - Hi! I'm from the Funnel Cake booth back there  

and your little table is sadder than  watching the notebook at a funeral.  

- Hey Dutch girl, why don't you go stick your  finger in a dyke. I'm sure you can find one over  

near the plus sized denim. -  

Max, please. We are all business  woman here. - Yeah. Some of us  

wearing table cloth on their heads. - Just so you know they make shift  

tables cause we are just starting out.  We've only been in business eight months.  

- Heidi, how long have we been funneling?  - Everyday 24-7 for the past three months.  

- And we already have a booth. - Yeah we do! - I have to say you girls really take the fun  

out of funnel. - Actually we  

put the fun in the funnel. - See? You can't start "funnel"  

without "fun". - Or FU. - Oh, hell no.  

- Max. - Hang on. I wasn't done. Oh, hell no! - Oh, she's yarn-bombing that bike. It's  

whimsical, t's new, iIt's stupid. - This yarn-ival is pathetic. Yo, yarnie.  

and we use it for deliveries and to trap nerds. Peace out ganja beer, before I knit you a noose!  

- Max, that was a great idea. - What, that she go back to  

school? I know. At least a couple night  classes, right? Get around some people.  

Excuse me, OshKosh B'gosh. I have a question about  

your coloring book. Why? - Oh, they're for adults.  

Super Zen. Super meditative. Helps with stress. - You know what else helps with stress? Sex.  

And even if someone could get past those  boner-killing overalls… you ain't gonna  

have any of that if you keep this up. Not to mention, how stressful can your  

life really be if you are carefully shading  a unicorn's ass at 3:00 p.m. on a Tuesday?  

- So let me get this correct: You want  to make t-shirts for your business,  

with no business connection. Okay. This is your journey,  

but it might end here. - No, no, no, see, it's a cupcake,  

and we sell cupcakes, so that's the "bidness." Okay, you know what? Screw this!  

That t-shirt is way cool, and if  you can't see it, this seminar  

is so not Worth the $1,000 I paid. Peace out! - Well, the cupcake shows a mix of sweet imagery  

because we're two girls trying to retro-repurpose  the phrase "sugar and spice and everything nice."  

- Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey,  hey, hey! Leave Pam alone!  

- I'm fine, Ellen. They can't shut me down,  because I believe in us and our special brand  

of "artisan cupcakes"! - Why?  

- Give me! - Eat it, you losers! Eat it, eat it!  

- I see the truth balls have stopped.  It looks like "eat it, eat it,  

you losers," might just be your brand. - I need your attention. - You also  

need a booster seat for most places. - It'll… It'll keep me busy, because Max,  

when Nicolas looks at me, it does Something to  my insides, and I want this to be a Relationship  

before he does something to my insides. - If you keep talking about your insides,  

I'm gonna kick you on your outsides. - - Good evening, ladies. - No.  

- Max, what are you doing? - I  know this neighborhood is a circus,  

but our window's becoming a freak show. - No wonder they don't have any bad yelp  

reviews. No one's ever tasted their food! Hi. Um, our drinks? And did you ask the chef about  

the soup? - You know, I haven't had a minute. - She hasn't had a minute? What's  

she been doing, dancing with wolves? - I mean, have you ever? - I know, can you even?  

- Byron and I have been here forever, and have  yet to see our dandelion chickpea foie-gras.He's  

hypoglycemic and I'm Lila. - And I'm pissed. I'm getting  

our drinks. - Would you get us some wine? -  Oh, sure, what kind? - A chardonnay for me,  

and Byron will have a sauvignon blanc. - Is that the "dandelion chickpea and other things  

that don't belong in a dish together" thing? - All right, your dandelion chickpea,  

a chardonnay, and a sauvignon blanc. Enjoy. - What do you think you're doing? - Waiting  

on tables. Look into it. - Hand it over. I have a gun.  

- Well, I have a death wish  so that's not gonna work.  

Look pal, we work at this cupcake window  from 2:00 to 4:00, six nights a week,  

and that is after eight hours of slinging hash at  the diner next door for lousy minimum wage, which  

a bunch of rich politicians out in… help me out.  - Washington. - What she said… don't wanna raise.  

Then, we walk home to our illegal one bedroom  apartment, get three hours of nyquil induced  

sleep before we have to get back up and share  a bowl of Spanish language cheerios. - It's the  

same thing but the "c" wears a sombrero. - So, no. I am not about to give you our  

hard-earned money. And if you're gonna shoot  me, better aim good. 'Cause if you miss,  

I will climb over this counter, tear off  your head, and it'll be our new tip jar.  

- I can't make a tart! - How's the tart coming? - Han, you're not safe. Leave. - You haven't even  

finished the shell? That's the easiest part! - Han, this is your face.  

- Well, I should get going. I didn't know  she could take bitch to the next level.  

- Yo, dollface. It's been ten minutes! His  chowder, my spaghetti. Where's the food?  

- "Where's the food"? Where's your neck? - I wasn't listening. I was looking  

at your boobs. - Well, I do what I  

can but they'll never be as big as yours. - Oh, hell no! - What? - She's been back  

here too. - Who? - Guine-queer! There's so much yarn-bombing,  

it's like craft-ganistan. - So that's it for deliveries?  

- Oh, you can deliver wherever and whenever  you want, but there is no way I am ever  

getting on that bike again. - Max, look. Guinevere!  

- Oh, hell no! She yarn-bombed our darn barn! - You two should've tipped. I'm an artist. Eat  

my stitches, bitches! - That was  

not whimsical at all! - Give me the damn bike. Knit's  

about to hit the fan! -  

We're here to see Ruby. - Who wants to see Ruby? - She's coming in real hot,  

Max. Maybe this isn't a good idea. - There's only one old woman who scares me,  

and his name is Steven Tyler. - I'm Ruby. - Well... if it isn't  

"Miss doesn't invite people to stuff." - Who's  

also known as Miss Very, Very Pretty. - I don't need someone to tell me that  

I'm pretty. That's what I told Roy Orbison  when he wrote "Pretty Woman" for me.  

What do you little girls want? - We're  friends of Earl. - Of Earl? - You know,  

Earl, from The Early Birds. - You know, the guy who put this  

club on the map. - Oh, that Earl! He's a bum! - Girl, you better check yourself! - No one says  

anything bad about my Earl. - Your Ear... Well, I prefer  

not to go to jail for murdering  Earl's girlfriend, but… it's not  

that strong a preference. Here, hold my hoops! - Oh, no, no, no, no. Max isn't Earl's girlfriend.  

He's more like a father-figure to her. - More like a great-grandfather figure! - He's  

both! Hold my hoops! - Everybody calm down,  

take a beat. A jazzy beat, of course. - I only have two questions for you… Why is  

she so upset? And what the hell is a jazzy beat? - I'm upset because I know Earl helped build  

this club, and he wasn't invited to play  

your anniversary show. - That's right... 'cause  

he's a bum! - Hold my hoops again! - That no-good, two-timin' musical  

Genius will never set foot in my  club while I'm alive. Here, hold  

my hoops while I unstrap the pistol on my shoe. - Ruby, come on, can't you just let him play? I  

mean, he's just a cashier at a diner now. - What'd you just call him? Earl is more  

than just a cashier. - That is his job,  

not what he is. How dare  you! - Yeah, how dare she!  

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
gun /ɡʌn/ B1	noun - firearm; a weapon that shoots bullets verb - to fire a gun; to shoot
note /noʊt/ A2	noun - a short written message verb - to write a short message
threat /θrɛt/ B2	noun - a statement of intention to cause harm
deal /diːl/ B1	noun - an agreement or transaction verb - to negotiate or distribute
money /ˈmʌni/ A2	noun - currency; cash
walk /wɔːk/ A1	verb - to move on foot
shoot /ʃuːt/ B1	verb - to fire a gun; to discharge a weapon
pay /peɪ/ A2	verb - to give money for goods or services
cupcake /ˈkʌpˌkeɪk/ B2	noun - a small, individual cake baked in a cup-shaped container
business /ˈbɪz.nəs/ B1	noun - commercial activity; a company
waitress /ˈwɛɪt.rɪs/ B1	noun - a female server in a restaurant
horrible /ˈhɔːrɪbəl/ B2	adjective - extremely unpleasant or terrible
cold /koʊld/ A2	adjective - having a low temperature
ugly /ˈʌɡ.li/ A2	adjective - unpleasant to look at; unattractive
whimsical /ˈwɪmzɪkəl/ C1	adjective - playfully quaint or fanciful; odd in a charming way
crazy /ˈkreɪ.zi/ B1	adjective - mentally unsound; wildly enthusiastic
old /oʊld/ A1	adjective - having lived for a long time; not new
young /jʌŋ/ A1	adjective - not yet old; in early stage of life
brand /brænd/ B2	noun - a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies a product
relationship /rɪˈleɪ.ʃənˌʃɪp/ B2	noun - the way in which two or more people or things are connected