[English]
You go into the booth and you
>> I'm gonna stop you right there, Linda.
Okay.
>> Does it look like this is my first time?
Huh? Now I want four twos and I want
them all on my back.
>> Okay.
Wait a minute. THERE'S TWO SETS OF
NOZZLES. WHICH ONE IS IT? Which which
which one is it?
Son of a
>> Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in. Go away.
I don't want to see anybody. I know. I
went to the tanning place and the same
thing happened to me. You have to let me
in.
>> Really?
>> Did you count Mississippi?
>> You You're not tan.
>> No, I just had to get a picture of this.
I'll see you later.
>> Your father's doctor's on the phone if
you'd like to speak to him.
>> Oh, great. Um, are you going to be okay?
>> He's unconscious. I think we'll be just
fine. Okay.
Did Did the TV wake you?
>> No. When you put your feet up on my bed,
you tugged on my catheter.
>> Ouchie.
>> What are you doing here, Giller?
>> Well, I came with Rachel, who who should
be back any second.
So, what's new? Oh, I had a little heart
attack.
>> Wait, is is it painful?
>> What? The heart attack is sitting here
talking to you.
>> Let's see if we can get that Rachel back
in here.
>> So, what's new with you, G? Knocked up
any more of my daughters lately?
>> Nope, just the one. Right.
>> Hey, hey, check out the flyers for the
band. I made them on a Macintosh in the
computer room.
>> Awesome. The name really stands out.
Thanks to a little something called
Helvetica bold 24 point.
>> Man, we going to rock that Asian student
union.
>> Hey guys.
>> Hey Missy.
>> You know our band is playing on Friday.
>> Yeah. Yeah. You should come check us
out. We're called Way. No way.
>> No way.
>> Way.
>> Grace. I'll be there.
>> Fresh
>> boss mean she's gone.
>> I know it.
You know, I'm totally going to ask her
out.
>> Dude, I was going to ask her out.
>> I said it first, bro.
>> Well, I thought it first. Holmes,
>> look. If you think
>> Wait, wait. What are we doing?
>> What we have is too important to mess it
up over some girl. I mean, we can get
laid anytime we want.
>> Totally.
>> I had sex in high school.
>> Me, too. I'm good at it.
All right. I say we make a pact. Neither
of us will go out with Missy Goldberg.
>> You got it.
>> All right. So, that's Missy Goldberg, VB
Kates, and Molly Ringwald, who neither
of us can go out with.
>> Those are the packs.
>> Oh, and Sheena Eastston. But we probably
couldn't get her anyway.
>> Maybe not you.
>> Hey.
>> Hi.
>> Hey, guys. Uh, I need some fashion
advice. Oh,
>> how does this look?
Well, it's it's a little low. Pick it up
a little.
A little bit more. A little bit more.
There you go.
Now, throw it away.
>> Come on. This looks good.
>> Ross, please. Trust me. I buy 30 fashion
magazines a month. Now, I don't know
who's running for president or who that
NATO guy is, but I do know that you have
to get as far away as you can from that
hat.
>> Damn it. I have this date tomorrow night
and and I have to look cool.
>> Well, you know, if you want fashion
help, Rachel and I are going shopping
tomorrow. You're more than welcome to
come with us, right?
>> Really? That would be great. I I mean, I
have to do something. She kind of teased
me about how I dress.
>> I can see why. Nice shirt.
>> You're wearing the same shirt.
Stupid gap on every corner.
>> Wow, this place is awesome.
>> You know what? We should just go. I'm
not going to find anything here. This
stuff is ridiculous. Oh,
>> this place is great.
>> Wow.
>> Ra, come on. I'm not going to wear any
of this. Nothing silver.
>> Okay. Nothing with hair and nothing with
padlocks on it. Of course. Look, look. I
know that some of this stuff is out
there, but I mean, come on. Look at
this. Look at this sweater. I mean, this
is just beautiful.
>> Wow. This is really soft.
$350.
>> Down from 700. You're saving like 200
bucks.
>> Both logic and math are taking a serious
hit today.
>> Hey, check this out. It's totally you.
>> Wow.
>> Yeah.
Wow. Actually, this this looks pretty
good.
>> Yeah.
>> Boys will be boys.
>> What? They will be.
>> All right, that's it. I'm getting mad at
you.
>> No, no, no. Ross, wait. Come on. All
right. You know what? There's other
stuff. Here's some nice shirts. Look at
these these nice pants.
>> Huh. Actually, these these might look
pretty good on me.
>> Yes, they will. You know what you should
do? Just go take a walk. All right. I
know your size and I'm going to I'm
going to pick out some really good stuff
for you.
>> Really?
>> Yes. And I know what looks sexy on guys.
Please just wear what I suggest and she
is going to go nuts for you.
>> So, you're saying uh if I wear these
pants, I might be getting into hers.
>> Why do men keep talking to me like this?
>> Some really great stuff.
>> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not sure about some
of the bras I got.
>> Oh, really? Hey, do you want to try some
of them on for me? Oh, okay.
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
>> Oh, no. I took one of Ross' bags by
mistake, and one of mine is missing. Oh,
well, Ross probably has it. You can get
it from him later.
>> So, what do you think?
I think we're not wearing the same shirt
anymore.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Rachel picked it out for me.
She told me to trust her. And you know
what? I'm glad I did. I turned quite a
few heads on my way over here.
>> Dude, I really don't think you should be
wearing that.
>> Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little
competition with the ladies.
>> Looks like someone is the ladies.
You're just jealous because you couldn't
pull this off. Yeah. Now, if you'll
excuse me, I have a date.
>> See? All eyes on me.
>> Wow, this place looks great.
>> Oh, you are going to love it. And I'm so
glad we're finally doing this.
>> Me, too.
>> Here.
So this was fun.
>> What are you guys doing?
>> Try it. I can't feel a thing.
Are you kidding?
>> This is packing.
>> We're taking a break
>> from
>> jumping on the bed.
>> All right. Rachel's party is in a couple
of hours and there's a lot to do. Now,
Ross, you've got Geller Blood. You're in
charge of these Yahoos.
>> You got it.
>> All right.
>> All right. She's right. We got to get
serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts
down his pants and kick him.
this your son?
>> Yeah, his name is Ross.
>> What?
>> Uh, nothing. It's just it's uh it's
close to Ron.
>> Does he um Does little Ross like
dinosaurs by any chance?
>> Yeah, they're all he talks about. Hi.
>> How would he like to come with me to the
Museum of Natural History after everyone
else has left? Just the two of us. And
and he can touch anything he wants.
I just heard it how you must have heard
it. And that's not good. Um, let me
start again. I'm a paleontologist. Uh,
you'll be there with us. And the
touching refers only to bones, fossils.
>> You could really arrange that.
>> You let Rachel come back and it's done.
>> Well, I guess having Rachel back
wouldn't be the worst thing in the
world.
>> Yeah. Yes. Oh, thank you. This is great.
Thank you so much. And I swear your
kid's going to have the time of his
life.
>> That's great. I worry about little Ross.
He's he's always reading. He's
collecting rocks. And he's obsessed with
dinosaurs.
>> He'll be fine. You You've been quiet all
morning. Is everything okay?
>> Mhm.
>> You sure you're all right?
>> Yep.
>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab
us some breakfast.
>> FYI,
>> there it is.
>> In the future, when a girl asks for some
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me
about last night. I was just trying to
do the right thing.
>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had
done the right thing, I would not have
woken up today feeling stupid and
embarrassed. I would have woken up
feeling comforted and satisfied.
>> Well,
>> oh, stop that.
>> I can't believe this. What? I was just
being a good guy. I treated you with
with respect and understanding.
>> Oh, that's so hot.
Hey, I was looking out for you.
>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I
am a big girl. I don't need someone
telling me what is best for me.
>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of
times before. This is the worst ever.
>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very
good for me either.
>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know
what? You know what? To avoid this
little thing in the future, let's just
say you and me never having sex again.
>> What?
>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am
never having sex with you again.
>> Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
Okay, Ross. I I realized that you didn't
expect to walk in and see that, but uh
let me explain. Okay,
>> we weren't doing anything.
>> Ra, he just saw us.
>> But what you saw that that is the extent
of it. Okay, one kiss.
>> No, come on. That is a lie. We also
kissed in Barbados.
>> Dude, chill.
Okay. We also kissed in Barbados, but we
didn't plan it. Okay. And the only
reason that that happened was was
because I saw you kissing Charlie.
>> Yeah, you started it. I have got to
chill.
>> Look, we we probably should have talked
to you about this before it ever
happened.
But
>> Oh, we feel so terrible about this,
Ross.
>> Yeah, but it did happen.
So
Ross.
Ross,
>> can we just close the door?
>> So, you two are
here.
>> Yeah.
And have you had
>> No.
>> No. No.
>> But if I hadn't walked in here, would
you?
>> Probably. No. No.
>> Ross, this is not how we wanted you to
find out about this. You have every
right to go nuts.
>> I'm not going nuts. Do you see me going
nuts?
>> No, but you know what I mean.
>> Hey, hey, hey.
If you two are happy, then I'm happy for
you.
I'm fine.
>> Really?
>> Absolutely. I'm fine.
Totally fine.
I don't know why it's coming out all
loud and squeaky cuz really I'm fine.
I'm not saying I wasn't a little
surprised to see you guys kissing. I
mean, at first I was like,
but now that I've had time to absorb it,
loving this,
>> it's all working out.
Me and Charlie and you two. You know
what we should do?
>> Calm ourselves.
>> No,
we should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do
it tomorrow night. I'll cook.
>> Look, don't don't you think that'll be a
little weird?
>> Weird? What? What's weird? The only
thing weird would be if someone didn't
like Mexican food because I'm making
fajitas.
I do like fajitas.
>> Rachel,
>> she and Phoebe took the stripper to the
hospital.
>> Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
>> What? When When was this?
>> 1987. The weekend you guys visited me at
school.
>> Oh my god, that's wild.
>> Yeah, but it was like a million years
ago. So, it doesn't matter.
>> Well, it matters to me.
>> Why?
>> Because the night you kissed Rachel was
the night I kissed Rachel for the very
first time. You kissed her that night,
too?
>> Two guys in one night. Wow. I thought
she became a sled after she got her nose
fixed.
>> Seriously, where did this happen?
>> Okay. After you told me she was passed
out in our room, I went in there to make
sure she was all right. She was lying on
my bed, all buried in people's coats.
Well, I I went to kiss her on the
forehead, you know, but it was so dark I
accidentally got her lips. I I started
to pull away, but then I I felt her
start to kiss me back. It was only for a
second, but it was amazing. And now, now
I find out that you kissed her first.
>> Oh, wait. What bed did you say she was
on?
>> Mine.
>> I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
>> No, she was definitely on my bed.
>> Why would I kiss a girl and then put her
on your bed?
>> Well, then who was on my bed?
>> Oh. Oh. Oh,
>> no. No, no,
>> you were under the pile of coats. I was
the pile of coats.
>> Oh my god.
>> You were my midnight mystery kisser.
>> You were MY FIRST KISS WITH RACHEL.
>> You were my first kiss ever.
>> WHAT DID I MARRY INTO?
>> All right. Okay. Be careful.
>> Careful. Watch her here. Watch her hair,
>> right? She's got like three hairs.
>> I know. I know. But they're just so
beautiful. Oh my god. I just pulled one
out.
>> I promise you she's safe. Okay, now
watch. Watch how much she loves this.
>> Okay,
>> are you ready to Here we go.
>> Okay, careful.
>> Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
She's smiling.
Oh, look at that. She does like it.
>> See, I told you.
>> Oh. OH.
Oh my god. Look at her. She's a little
daredevil.
Oh god. Oh, let me push. Can I push?
>> Oh, absolutely.
>> Okay.
Oh god. Okay. Get Get the camera. It's
in It's in the diaper bag.
>> Okay.
See scared of the swings. I bet you FEEL
PRETTY SILLY.
I BROUGHT the camera for Emma's video.
>> Oh, good. Good. We had this idea to make
a birthday video for Emma and we'll give
it to her when she's 18.
>> Oh, cool. Wow. It's like a time capsule.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, just think she's going to be
watching that video on a TV that hasn't
even been invented yet
with friends who right now are just like
babies.
And they'll be living in a in a floating
city that the humans built to escape the
ant people.
That's the hope.
>> So, is uh Emma awake yet?
>> Oh, no. It's still nap time, but she'll
be up soon.
>> Uh, where's Joey?
>> I said it's still nap time.
>> Hey, there's Uncle Joey.
>> Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th
birthday.
>> 18, huh?
>> Joey. No.
What? What? It's for her hot friends.
When they see this, you'll be 52 and
starting to think about settling down.
>> Hi.
>> So glad you came.
>> I can't believe Emma's already won.
>> I remember your first birthday. Ross was
jealous of all the attention we were
giving you. He pulled on his testicles
so hard we had to take him to the
emergency room.
There's something you didn't know about
your dad.
>> I'll love you forever. I'll like you for
always. As long as I'm living my baby,
you'll be
>> wow.
That was amazing.
>> Thank you so much for that gift.
I was not ready for this today.
>> Emma, your name poses a dilemma
cuz not much else with Emma. Maybe the
actor Richard Crana, he played the
commanding officer in Rambo. Happy
birthday, Emma.
Is that it?
No, of course not. No, I I've also, you
know, prepared a reading.
>> Um,
sex and the single mother,
>> finding your G-spot.
>> No, no, no.
>> Hello, Emma. Happy 18th birthday.
>> Right now, that seems so far away. 17
years.
>> Yes. You'll be all grown up by then, and
we'll be
>> Well, your grandfather and I might not
be here.
>> That's true. This message could be
coming to you from beyond the grave,
Emma.
>> After all, my parents died very young.
>> And my cholesterol is off the charts.
>> Remember, Emma, heart disease kills
women, too.
>> Okay, cut. Great. Great. That was That
was just Yeah.
>> Oh, good. Well, you know what? While
we're waiting, you guys could tape your
message to Emma for her 18th birthday.
Huh? Okay.
>> Hi, Emma. It's the year 2020.
Are you still enjoying your nap?
>> We're Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler, by
the way. You may not recognize us
because we haven't spoken to your
parents in 17 years.
We used to be married, but then we
missed a weekend away together and
things kind of unraveled
>> because of you.
>> You know, I'm thinking about letting
Emma have her first cookie.
>> Her first cookie? She has cookies all
the time.
>> I've never given her a cookie.
>> Have you?
>> No.
>> Oh, and for the record, I've also never
given her frosting from a can.
Hey, Ra. The adoption agency needs
letters of recommendation, and we were
wondering if you would write one for us.
>> Of course, I'd be honored.
>> Thanks.
>> Thank you.
>> I think there's been an oversight.
>> Sure, we would have asked you. We just
thought you wouldn't be interested.
>> Yeah, it's just that we don't think of
you as really being so much with the
words.
>> Well, hey, wait, wait. Oh, hey.
Clearly, we were wrong.
>> Look, I got a lot of nice stuff to say
about you guys, okay? And I know how
much you want to have a baby, and I
would love to help you get one.
>> You know what? Enjoy, we want you to do
it.
>> Thank you. All right, let me see how I'm
going to start.
Dear baby adoption decider people,
>> so excited about your letter.
>> What you What you working on? Oh, Monica
and Chandler's recommendation. I want it
to sound smart, but I don't know any big
words or anything. So,
>> well, why don't you use your thesaurus?
>> What' I just say?
>> Watch.
>> Here you uh you highlight the word you
want to change.
>> Uh go under tools and the thesaurus
generates gives
gives a whole list of choices. You can
pick the word that sounds smartest. Oh
my god, that's great. I'm smart. No, no,
I'm brainy, bright, clever. I love this
thing.
Look out, ladies. Joey Triotti's got the
whole package.
>> How'd the interview go?
>> Not good.
>> You know, I always feel that way after
an interview. I'll bet it went better
than you think.
>> Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and
I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
>> That is a bad interview.
>> What are you What are you talking about?
How'd this happen? Well, my boss was at
the same restaurant where I was having
my interview and he heard everything.
So, later he calls me into his office
and he tells me that he's going to have
to let me go because I'm not a team
player. And I say, "Wait a minute. No,
yes, I am." And then I had to sit there
for 45 minutes while he proved that that
in fact was true.
>> Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
Hey, what what's this?
It's a It's a bottle of champagne. Why
is this here,
>> Ross?
>> I guess it's here because I got tenure.
>> Congratulations.
>> Congratulations.
>> This is the single greatest day of my
professional career. Gunther, six
classes.
>> Six? You want me to join?
>> Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is
good.
I'm going to have a lugie in my coffee
tomorrow.
>> Ooh, Israeli champagne.
And it's vanilla.
>> I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.
>> Hey, Rich. So, uh, how did your thing
go?
>> Oh, it's good. Yeah, but I'm not going
to hear about that for a couple of days.
>> Oh, you know what? You're going to get
it. I I I I can feel it.
>> Can you?
>> Well, everybody, here's to Ross. and and
to years of hard work finally paying off
>> and to knowing that your career doesn't
mean everything,
>> but also knowing it means a lot,
>> but more importantly to full
well-rounded lives
>> that center around work.
>> You know what the best part about this
is? I can never be fired.
>> Oh god.
>> No, seriously. I have job security for
life, you know. I mean, I never have to
worry. Oh. Oh, look at look how happy
you are for me.
>> Oh, it's not that I got fired today and
I didn't get the other job.
>> Ra, I'm so sorry.
>> Oh,
>> great. I feel like an idiot.
>> No, it's okay. You didn't know. Oh,
>> little heads up would have been nice.
>> Okay, here we go.
>> Well,
>> yeah.
>> I think I'm going to take off.
>> Huh?
>> Oh, you guys, this was an amazing night.
Thank you so much. I love you.
Good night.
>> WHAT?
>> I don't get a goodbye.
>> Lucky bastard.
>> She says goodbye to everyone but me.
>> Well, maybe she thought that with all of
your history, it could be, you know,
implicit.
>> Well, it needs to be placit.
All right, let's think about this. I
mean, there's got to be an explanation.
Uh, did you do anything to make her mad?
>> No, I don't I don't think so.
>> You know, maybe she was just really
spent from our talk. It was pretty
intense. Yeah, mine, too.
>> Mine was a humdinger.
>> Okay.
I mean, don't I deserve anything? I
mean, a few tears, a cursory hug.
Not from you,
>> Ros. If you're this upset, you should go
and talk to her. Come on and say what?
You owe me a goodbye. That mean it's got
more pride than that.
>> The hell I do?
>> I don't get a goodbye.
>> What?
>> Everyone gets a goodbye but me. What do
I got to do to get a goodbye? Huh? Uh be
best friends with you? Uh go out with
you? Have have a baby with you? Oh, wait
a minute. WAIT A MINUTE. I DID ALL THOSE
THINGS.
Or maybe maybe I'm just not giving you
enough credit. Uh I mean it is difficult
to say goodbye to five people. Uh
goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. It's
physically impossible.
>> Hey guys.
>> Okay. Wait, wait. Let me tell them.
>> Oh, sure.
>> Joey's going to be a celebrity guest on
a game show,
>> right?
>> Really? Which one?
>> Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship.
>> Things you find in the ocean. YOU'RE
GOING TO BE A PYRAMID.
THAT WAS OUR FAVORITE GAME SHOW EVER.
>> Except for match game
>> or win, lose or draw.
>> Oh, what did I marry into?
>> Well, do you guys want to come down
tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
>> Oh, we can't. We were throwing Phoebe a
bachelorette party.
>> Yeah, sorry, boys. This ride's closing.
>> Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid
college alumni thing. I can't believe
you get to meet Donnie Osman.
>> Seriously?
>> Yeah.
Ross and I always wanted to be Donnie
and Marie.
>> You guys just keep getting cooler and
cooler.
>> Yeah, we used to perform for our family
and friends.
>> Oh god, that's right. I blocked that
out.
>> I'm a little bit country
>> and I'm a little bit rock and roll.
>> I'm leaving you.
I just got back on the plane and I just
feel awful.
That is so not how I wanted things to
end with us.
It's just that I wasn't expecting to see
you and and all of a sudden you're there
and saying these things and
now I'm just sitting here and thinking
of all the stuff I should have said and
I didn't.
I mean, I didn't even get to tell you
that I love you, too.
Because of course I do. I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
What am I doing?
I love you.
>> I've got to see you. I've got to get off
this plane.
>> Oh my god.
>> Okay. Excuse me. Miss, please sit down.
>> No, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I
need to get off the plane. Okay. I need
to just tell someone that I love them.
>> Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
>> LET HER OFF THE PLANE.
>> I am afraid you are going to have to
take your seat.
>> Oh, please, Miss. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
>> OH, come on, miss. Isn't there any way
that you can just let me off the
>> No. No.
>> Oh my god. Did she get off the plane?
Did you get off the plane?
>> I got off the plane.
>> You got off the plane.