– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[music]

[music]

[applause]

>> I

had a terrible dream this morning.

I dreamt

I gave this talk without pants.

Oh, no, Jose.

Last time I had this dream, I was 14

the night before my math exam.

Clearly, my brain thinks this is as

stressful

as trigonometry.

I called my comedian friend Brian.

Brian is a wise person.

He has a lot of time to think about

stuff

because he's also unemployed.

Brian told me,

"Akash,

don't worry."

Brian is Irish. I can't do accents, so

imagine it yourself.

"Akash, don't worry. Life is like

comedy.

It's all about perspective.

Just flip the perspective."

So, here I am

imagining all of you

without pants.

First of all, Freiburg, congratulations.

For people without pants, you're way

more confident than I expected.

And Brian is right. Comedy is about

perspective.

Today, I want to share

two messages with you.

One,

your perspective already makes you

funny.

And two,

humor is one of the fastest ways we can

connect as human beings.

Let's test this, okay? I'll ask you a

question.

Uh who here among you thinks you are

funny? Can raise your hand.

Okay, fantastic. Uh that's that's great.

Um

more than I expected. You guys can come

to me after the show and join my comedy

club.

Those who did not raise your hands, do

not despair.

We are going to work on it right now.

So, the next question is for those who

did not raise their hands.

Who here among you has laughed at your

own mistake?

Can you raise your hand?

Look around you.

Your best comedy material

is already accessible within you.

So, without knowing,

you're already funny.

Brian told me something else.

>> [snorts]

>> Brian said there are three jobs in life

one can do without any training.

Be a politician,

be a parent,

be a comedian.

No exam, no qualifications needed. Isn't

that crazy?

I don't think everyone should be a

politician.

I definitely do not think everyone

should be a parent.

>> [laughter]

>> Uh

but I really, really think everyone

should be funny.

Because humor is one of the easiest and

simplest ways we can bond as human

beings.

In fact, scientific research has shown

that laughter is

an evolutionary mechanism

that generates endorphins and enhances

social bonding.

Why do you think our prehistoric

ancestors drew penises on cave walls?

I was at the Ausländerbehörde last week,

uh the foreigners office,

uh to extend my visa.

I stood in queue for 2 hours.

I was pretty frustrated.

I could see the woman behind the

counter. She looked even more frustrated

than me.

I had mentally prepared all the German

dialogues in my head, so I am I can I

can

uh be ready when my turn comes. So, my

turn came. I stepped up to the counter,

and I forgot everything.

And I mumbled something completely

incoherent.

And this woman was like, "Wie bitte?"

So, I tried again.

Even worse.

And she responded to me in Turkish.

So, I told her, this time in English,

"I'm so sorry. I did not understand

you."

And she puts her hands on her hips, and

she says, "I did not understand you,

either."

in English.

>> [laughter]

>> We both laughed.

And the tension broke.

I still don't have a visa.

But I at least left the Ausländerbehörde

less frustrated.

From my perspective,

she was the bureaucratic hurdle against

my visa.

But to her, I'm the hundredth confused

person coming to her without reading

instruction.

She must be so tired of saying

So geht das nicht.

>> [laughter]

>> Sometimes in Turkish.

I don't even look Turkish.

But she's trying her best.

But when we laughed, we were just two

confused people failing together.

The funny thing about um humor I find is

I laugh with people I like.

Maybe you have noticed that as well.

When I met my girlfriend a few years

ago, she used to imitate her parents.

And I thought that was hilarious.

Now I know her parents really well.

And they're nothing like how she

imitates.

Which I find even funnier.

And it goes both ways. Humor is a

two-way street.

So I'm a physicist, so I'm a I'm obliged

to bring in a physics analogy.

Newton's third law says for every action

there is an equal and opposite reaction.

In human terms, I say

you laugh

with people you like.

And you like people you can laugh with.

Laughter induces likeability.

I imagine all of us are or most of you

want to be liked. I want you to like me.

Nobody stepped out of their house today

thinking, I will make one person

uncomfortable at Aldi.

>> And humor isn't just making others

laugh.

It's also the ability to laugh.

And that comes from empathy.

The ability to put yourself in somebody

else's shoes

and see the world from their perspective

and recognizing the humanness in them.

Most humor follows a very simple

pattern.

You take an expectation, something

that's already there, something you

everybody knows, you see it,

and finding the surprise hidden inside.

Um

since I moved to Freiburg,

a lot of people,

especially women,

ask me if I do yoga.

>> [laughter]

>> At first I thought they were curious.

Soon I realized they don't care if I do

yoga.

They want to inform me

that they do yoga.

Even my doctor,

I went to her a few weeks ago for back

pain,

and she looked at me, "Ah,

young man like you,

don't you do yoga?"

I just wanted painkillers.

I did not want to be shamed for a bad

being a bad Indian who doesn't do yoga.

So now I pretend I do not know what yoga

is.

So whenever someone asks me,

I say, "Huh,

what is a yoga?

Is it like a vegan cake?

The joke is that there is an expectation

that I know yoga.

The surprise is now Zara has to explain

to me, an Indian, what a downward dog

is.

My role as a comedian

is not to tell you the objective truth.

It's to show you

my truth.

And laughter comes from when you can

empathize with my perspective.

I don't know if your doctor ever asked

you if you do yoga,

but I imagine you felt my frustration.

I started comedy because of Brian.

I was inspired by Brian

not because I found him funny.

I was inspired by Brian because I did

not find him funny.

I thought if Brian could do it, I can do

it.

And I went through the process, I

realized something very very

significant. When I tried to be cool and

smart, nobody laughed.

But when I spoke about raw uncomfortable

stuff, things,

people did.

Not because I became funnier,

because my humanness became relatable.

Imperfection

is relatable.

You do not need to do not need to lead a

life like some of the extraordinary

speakers before me.

Even they are not perfect. Nobody is.

You just need you

and some self-awareness.

I

am friends with a kickboxer.

You know

these guys. Um

he told me something.

My parents

gave me so much trauma

I had to become a fighter.

But they did not give me enough trauma

that I could be a world champion.

So now I am a coach

giving young kids a lot of trauma

so one of them can become a world

champion.

He could have said

my parents were abusive

and it damaged me.

But what he said was I went through

something difficult.

I overcame it.

I know my limits

but have ambition.

Same facts

different framing.

Humor lives a lot in how we frame

tension.

And there is so much tension around us.

I want to ask you two last questions.

All right?

First question.

Who here had a wonderful start to their

day?

Okay, most of you.

So boring.

Who here had a terrible start to their

day?

Okay, some of you. Some of you. Can I

talk to you?

>> [laughter]

>> Hi. What's your name?

Teresa. Okay, what happened? Can you

just quickly tell us if you don't mind

for the room?

>> [laughter]

>> You

She Sorry, you don't sleep anymore?

Since you didn't fell asleep anymore

since 4:00 a.m.

Okay, and that has been going on for 18

months.

>> [laughter]

>> Like I said, some people shouldn't be

parents. Um

>> [laughter]

>> Thank you, Teresa, for sharing. So, what

was the solution?

>> Um

I breastfed her.

Um she calmed down, fell asleep. I

didn't.

>> You She calmed down from

>> Some yoga.

>> You did some yoga. That helps you.

>> And that worked. Uh had tea and

everything was better.

>> Okay, wonderful. Okay, so you found a

solution to your problem. And then maybe

tomorrow you make your daughter do yoga,

and then she calms down.

Thank you, Teresa. Give a big round of

applause to Teresa.

>> [applause]

[applause]

>> Comedy is also risky. Sometimes it

works, sometimes it doesn't.

But it's okay even if it fails, you have

a story.

And that story can be funny.

Uh so, when I say everybody can be

funny,

what I mean is

you all have a unique perspective that

makes you funny.

Because you have lived a life.

And when you share it honestly,

humor can become a powerful tool

for connecting people.

So, after this talk, I encourage all of

you to go into the foyer,

be in a room full of strangers, take off

your emotional pants,

and laugh together.

And maybe you'll be one day you'll be

inspired to share your own awkward story

to others.

And watch a room full of strangers

become a community.

Thank you.

>> [applause]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
stressful /ˈstresfəl/ B1	adjective - causing feelings of anxiety or worry
perspective /pərˈspektɪv/ B2	noun - a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something
confident /ˈkɒnfɪdənt/ B1	adjective - feeling or showing certainty about oneself
despair /dɪˈspeər/ C1	verb - to lose or be without hope
accessible /əkˈsesəbəl/ B2	adjective - able to be reached or obtained
evolutionary /ˌiːvəˈluːʃənəri/ C1	adjective - relating to the process of gradual development
mechanism /ˈmekənɪzəm/ B2	noun - a system of parts working together in a machine or process
frustrated /frʌˈstreɪtɪd/ B1	adjective - feeling or expressing distress and annoyance
incoherent /ˌɪnkəʊˈhɪərənt/ C1	adjective - expressed in an incomprehensible or confused way
bureaucratic /ˌbjʊərəˈkrætɪk/ C1	adjective - relating to the business of running an organization or government
empathize /ˈempəθaɪz/ C1	verb - to understand and share the feelings of another
relatable /rɪˈleɪtəbəl/ B2	adjective - making sense and feeling easy to understand or connect with
imperfection /ˌɪmpəˈfekʃən/ B2	noun - a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature
trauma /ˈtrɔːmə/ B2	noun - a deeply distressing or disturbing experience
ambition /æmˈbɪʃən/ B1	noun - a strong desire to do or to achieve something

Key Grammar Structures

• I dreamt I gave this talk without pants.

  ➔ Past Subjunctive / Unreal Past

  ➔ The verb "gave" is in the past form to express an imaginary or hypothetical situation in a dream.

• Brian has a lot of time to think about stuff because he's also unemployed.

  ➔ Subordinate Clause of Reason (because)

  ➔ "Because" introduces the reason behind the main clause action.

• Who here among you thinks you are funny?

  ➔ Interrogative Pronoun as Subject

  ➔ "Who" acts as the subject of the question inquiring about a specific person/group.

• I've stood in queue for 2 hours.

  ➔ Present Perfect Continuous/Simple

  ➔ The structure "have/has + past participle" shows an action that started in the past and has present relevance.

• Newton's third law says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

  ➔ Existential "There is"

  ➔ "There is" is used to declare the existence of something in a specific context.

• You do not need to lead a life like some of the extraordinary speakers.

  ➔ Modal Verb of Necessity (Negative)

  ➔ "Do not need to" indicates the absence of obligation.

• I imagined all of you without pants.

  ➔ Past Simple

  ➔ The verb "imagined" (base + ed) describes a completed action in the past.

• If Brian could do it, I can do it.

  ➔ Conditional Sentence (Type 1/Mixed)

  ➔ The "If" clause sets a condition, followed by the main clause expressing a possible result.