– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[laughter]

coming.

[laughter]

>> I have a bone to pick with you.

>> Uh-oh.

>> Yes. Ben learned a little trick.

[laughter]

>> Oh, yeah. Did he pull the

>> That's right. That's right. [laughter]

Saran wrap on the toilet seat so the pee

goes everywhere.

[laughter]

>> Oh, that.

>> Yeah, that. You know, I hate practical

jokes. They're mean and they're stupid

and and I don't want my son learning

them.

>> Oh, come on. Saran wrap on the toilet

seat. You don't think that's just a

little funny?

>> I was barefoot.

>> Now, tell me, the toilet thing is the

only thing you taught him, right?

>> [laughter]

>> Yes.

>> Wow.

[laughter]

>> Hi. Yes. I'm sorry. The models are

actually down the hall.

>> Actually, I'm here about the assistant

job.

>> Really?

Okay. Well, then. All right. We'll just

have a seat there. Um, so what's what is

what's your name?

>> Tag Jones.

>> Uh-huh. Go on. [laughter]

>> That's it. That's my whole name.

>> That's your whole name? Okay.

>> Okay. Well, let's let's just have a look

see here.

>> I know I haven't worked in an office

before and I really don't have a lot of

experience.

>> Come on. Now, what are you talking

about? You got three years painting

houses. [laughter]

Two whole summers at TGI Fridays.

[laughter]

>> It's lame, I know, but I'm a goal

oriented person. Very eager to learn.

>> Okay, just hold on a second.

>> [laughter]

>> I'm sorry. It's for human resources.

Everybody has to do it. Would you just

stand up, please?

>> Okay, Rachel, you're up first. Situation

number one. You're with Monica. The

wedding is about to start when Monica

gets cold feet.

>> Go.

>> I don't want to marry Chandler.

>> Okay. Um, feet.

>> It's going to be okay.

>> One man the rest of my life. I don't

know if I could do it. This means I'll

never get to sleep with Joey.

>> [cheering]

>> Look, Monica,

getting cold feet is very common. You

know, it's it's just because of all the

anticipation, and you just have to

remember that you love Chandler. And

also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't

get to keep the gifts. [laughter]

>> Very good. Drawing on your own

experience. I like that.

>> Yes. Very nice, Rachel.

>> Thank you, judges. Oh,

>> kiss ass. [laughter]

Okay, Phoebe.

>> Yes, your honor. [laughter]

>> We're now in the ceremony. Monica is

about to say, "I do." when her drunk

uncle starts yelling. What do you do?

Go.

>> When Monica was a little girl, I

remember that.

>> Oh,

very good.

>> Yes. Excellent. Perfect score.

>> Wait a minute. She just made a scene in

the middle of the ceremony. Hey, you

want a little taste of fees? Ra, wait.

Do you want to go to a movie tonight?

>> Oh, you know what? I can't. I have to

have dinner with that Melissa girl.

>> Can I come?

>> I won't even talk. You just hear the

noise from my video camera.

>> What is this? What's going on?

>> Oh, good. Can I tell it? Can I tell it?

>> Well, do you want to hear what actually

happened or Joey's LWD version?

>> Joey's. [laughter]

>> No. Hey, come on. I had this friend from

college and I made the stupid mistake of

telling Joey that one time she and I,

you know, kissed a little bit.

Yeah, I'm sure that happened.

[laughter]

>> It It did. SURE.

>> HEY, it happened.

>> Yeah. It was senior year in college. It

was after the Sigma Kai luau and Melissa

and I got very drunk and we ended up

kissing for several minutes which means

she had a couple spritzers and a quick

peck on the cheek.

[laughter]

>> Why are you taking this away from me?

>> Why is this so hard for you to believe?

>> Okay, I just I didn't know that you were

lesbian.

[laughter]

>> [applause]

>> I'm not saying that I am a lesbian. I'm

just saying that this happened.

>> Okay. It just seems pretty wild. And

you're, you know, so vanilla.

[laughter] Vanilla. I'm not vanilla.

I've done lots of crazy things. I mean,

I I got I got drunk and married in Vegas

to Ross. [laughter]

All right. You know what? If you don't

want to believe me about this, why don't

you just come with me to dinner tonight

and she will tell you.

>> Okay. All right. Yeah, cuz I just can't

picture it.

>> No, you should get inside my head.

>> Wow.

I mean, I had no idea that that was

[laughter]

>> What the hell was that? Just want to see

what all the fuss was about.

>> [laughter]

>> And I've had better.

>> One of them has great references and a

lot of experience. And then there's this

guy.

>> What about him?

>> I love him.

[laughter]

He's so pretty. I want to cry. I don't

know what to do. Tell me what to do.

>> Come on. You know what to do. You hire

the first one. You don't hire an

assistant because they're cute. You hire

them because they're qualified.

>> Uh-huh.

No, I hear what you're saying and and

and that makes a lot of sense, but can I

just say one more thing? Look how

pretty.

[laughter]

>> Let me see.

Oh my god.

>> Oh, but no, no, you can't you can't hire

him cuz that it's not professional.

Um, this is for me. Yes. [laughter]

Okay, you're right. I'll hire Hilda

tomorrow. Dumb old. Perfect for the job.

Hilda,

>> come see this guy.

Wow.

Don't show this to Monica and don't tell

her about the Wow.

>> Happy birthday.

[laughter]

>> IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

HEY, [laughter]

she's not as pretty as she was when she

was 29. [laughter]

>> Miss Green would like to establish some

ground rules before she comes out. She

would appreciate it if you didn't use

the words old or downhill or they still

look pretty damn good. [laughter]

>> They do.

[laughter]

>> Rachel, come on out. Monica made

breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes.

>> We've got presents.

[laughter]

>> Good ones.

>> They all came from the list you handed

out to us two weeks ago. [laughter]

>> Well, can I keep the presents and still

be 29?

>> Come on, Ra. Look, turning 30 is not

that big a deal.

>> Oh, really? Is that how you felt when

you turned 30?

>> WHY, GOD? WHY?

>> Start celebrating my

I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the

door to the past.

>> Okay. Uh, Monica, man. Okay. What? What

you just saw?

>> Can I ask you just a little question?

Why tonight?

>> What? See, I've been waiting my whole

life to be engaged. And unlike some

people, I only planning on doing this

once.

So, you know, I maybe this is selfish

and I'm sorry about it, but I I was kind

of hoping tonight could just be about

that.

>> Oh, honey, but it is. No, it's not. No.

No. Now it's about you and Ross getting

back together.

>> What?

>> Yeah. Um, you kind of stole my thunder.

>> Okay. Ho ho. We did not steal your

thunder because we are not getting back

together.

>> Yeah. No. And and and you know what?

Nobody even saw.

>> Yeah,

>> that's true.

>> I swear we just kissed.

>> It was just a kiss.

>> YOU GUYS KISSED.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

>> ARE YOU ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER?

CAN I SING AT YOUR WEDDING? [laughter]

>> Thunder being stolen.

>> Okay, come on, baby. It's nothing.

Monica, come on. Let's not make a big

deal out of this. It was a onetime

thing.

>> It doesn't even matter.

>> Oh my god. [laughter]

>> I cannot believe you guys are talking

about this. The problems in the bedroom

ARE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

[cheering]

All right. Now Chandler is doing the

best he can.

>> God, Chandler just left, Bill.

>> Yeah, but maybe it's not what we think.

Maybe it's tell Monica I'm sorry I drank

the last of the milk. Or maybe he he was

writing to tell her that that he's

changed his name. You know, tell Monica

I'm sorry.

[laughter]

>> I think it means he freaked out and

left. Don't be so negative.

God, isn't it possible that sorry is

SITTING IN THERE RIGHT NOW? [laughter]

>> OKAY, PHOEBE, I I think Ross is right. I

What are we going to do?

>> Look. Okay, I'm just going to I'm going

to have to go find him and bring him

back. Okay, you you make sure Monica

does not find out. Okay.

>> Okay. But if you don't find him and

bring him back, I am going to hunt you

down and kick your ass.

I will I will find him.

>> Wedding is so close. Are you getting

nervous?

>> Yeah, but a part of me also can't wait

till it's over.

>> Chandler and I have this packact not to

have sex again until the wedding.

>> A no sex pact, huh?

I actually have one of those going on

with every woman in America.

[laughter]

>> Hey Vivie, will you give me a hand? Got

to make up the guest bedroom. Hey,

cousin Cassie's coming to stay with us

for a few days.

>> Cassie? I haven't seen her in like

forever. I wonder if she still carries

that Barbie everywhere she goes.

>> Ra, she's 25 years old.

>> So what? I still No, you're probably

right.

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Hey, Steve. Can I talk to you over

here for a second?

>> Yeah.

>> Subtle, guys.

>> What? [laughter]

>> I know you're blending my surprise

bridal shower.

Okay. Well, don't ruin it.

Just play along at least.

>> Okay. Sorry.

>> Oh my god. We have to throw her a

shower.

>> Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your

phone book and a bunch of people came,

but it took us so long to get you here

that they they had to leave.

>> We wanted to throw you a big surprise

and a great shower and and now you don't

have either.

>> We ruined everything.

>> Oh, no. Wait a minute. That's not true.

No, what you did that was really sweet.

And it kind of works out for the best.

>> What do you What do you mean?

>> Well, now I get to spend my shower with

the only people I really love. I mean,

and I get all those presents without

having to talk to a bunch of people I

don't even like.

>> Surprise, Monica.

>> Look around and I just see so many

people who have accomplished so many of

their goals by the time they're 30.

Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself

to me.

>> There you go.

[cheering]

>> I did it. One mile on a hippity hop.

That's it. That's everything I wanted to

do before I was 30. Except I wanted to

patch things up with my sister.

>> Oh, but yay.

>> And and girls. This thing is a godsend,

if you know what I mean. [laughter]

>> Friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe,

Rachel,

>> I'm 40.

>> Jeez,

>> look at you with your little maple syrup

award.

>> Yeah. May maybe you don't tell anyone

about this.

>> No, it's not a big deal. I do that too

with my shampoo bottle.

>> Really? No. What award are you

practicing for?

>> Grammy,

>> best new artist.

[laughter]

>> Oh, hey, listen. The Soapies people

called today and [clears throat] also

get to present an award.

>> Oh, that's great. So, you'll definitely

get on stage even if you don't win.

[laughter]

>> You You don't think I'm going to win?

>> Oh, of course I do.

>> But you should probably start practicing

your your gracious loser face. you know,

when like when the cameras are on you

and you want to look disappointed, but

also that your colleague deserved to

win, you know, so it's sort of like,

[applause]

>> you know,

>> you practice losing at the Grammys, too.

>> Oh, no. At the Grammys, I always win.

>> Splitting. You take half and I take

half.

>> Well, that's not fair. You've already

had some.

>> Well, oh, then you know what? I think

Monica would be very interested to know

that you called her cheesecake dry and

mealy. What do we use to split it?

>> Okay. [laughter]

>> All right. Pick a half.

>> Okay. Well, this side looks bigger.

>> Uh, there's more crust on this side.

>> Yeah. [laughter]

So,

>> maybe if I measure.

>> Oh, for God's sake. Just pick a piece.

>> All right. Pick that.

>> So, [laughter] the smaller piece.

>> Okay. There you go. Enjoy your half, my

friend. But that is it. No sharing, no

switching, and don't come crying to me

if you eat your piece too fast.

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> All right, you got to give me some of

your piece.

>> Oh, no. No, no switching, no sharing.

And don't come crying to me.

I may just sit here and have my cake all

day. You just sit here in the hallway

and eat my

>> Oh, yay. Look, there's a piece that

doesn't have floor on it.

>> Stick to your side.

>> Come on now.

[laughter]

All right. What are we having?

>> Hey, what are you guys What are you guys

talking about?

>> Nothing.

>> Damn, this coffee is cold. Hey, Rich, do

you mind if I heat this up on your

loins?

[laughter]

>> You know, I cannot believe you told him,

Joey.

>> So, I guess you bought that book after

we broke up, huh?

>> Uh-huh. Yeah, I did because I wore out

my first copy when I was with you.

[cheering]

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, when we were

going out, I read tons of porno

magazines. [laughter]

>> So,

boss, how could you do that to an old

man?

[laughter]

>> Excuse me, ladies.

>> Presenting the award for favorite

returning male character is Mackenzie.

>> This is it. This is it. This is my

category.

>> Oh my god. Do you have to speech?

>> Yep. Got to speak.

>> Did you got your gracious losser face?

>> Yep.

No, Charlie. Remember, if you win, you

have to hug me. You hug me.

>> Okay.

>> They say,

>> "Can I squeeze your ass [laughter]

>> on TV?"

>> Proven that this is not

>> the category of favorite returning male

character. The nominees are John Wheeler

from General Hospital, [applause]

Gavin Graham from The Young and the

Restless, [applause]

Duncan Harrington from Passions,

and Joey Triani from Days of Our Lives,

[applause]

and the Sophie goes to

Gavin Graham from The Young and the

Restless. [applause]

Hey.

>> Hi.

>> What are you doing?

>> Well, you know, I was thinking of moving

the couch over here.

>> Why would you want to do that?

>> So that there would be a decent place

for me to sit.

>> Ra, there is a decent place.

>> And your lap does not count. [laughter]

>> Okay, come on. Help me move this.

>> No. No. No.

>> No. No, Rosita does not move. [laughter]

>> I'm sorry. Rosita as in

>> As in Rosita does not move. [laughter]

>> Joey, it's just a chair. What's the big

deal?

>> The big deal is that it is the exact

equal distance from the bathroom to the

kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so

you don't get any glare coming off of

Stevie. [laughter]

>> Stevie the TV.

>> Is there a problem?

>> No. [laughter]

Oh, what does he know?

>> Come on, Rosito. Chica's got to stick

together.

>> NO,

[laughter]

>> you

>> Rachel Green's office.

>> Tag. Hi. Who is that?

>> Nobody. I was just practicing.

>> [laughter]

>> Hi.

>> Hi. Rachel Green's office.

[laughter]

>> You must be Hilda.

>> Yeah. This is Tag. Tag. This is Phoebe.

Phoebe. Can I see you for a second?

>> Phoebe.

>> That's a great name.

>> Oh, you like that? You should hear my

phone number. Okay. I'll be right back.

So, you hired yourself a little treat,

did you? [laughter]

>> All right. I know. I know how it looks,

Feebs, but I'm telling you,

>> but but you know, you cannot get

involved with your assistant.

>> Yes, I know that. I know that. And I

know that hiring him was probably not

the smartest thing that I've ever done,

but I'm telling you, from this moment

on, I swear this is strictly

professional.

>> Yes.

>> Hey, Rachel.

>> Hi.

>> Cute assistant. What's his story? Is he

like

>> gay? Yeah.

forever.

Come on.

>> So, this is Brooklyn.

>> All right, listen up. There's usually

only one dress in each size. So, when

they open those doors, fan out. Now,

this is what you're looking for.

Memorize it.

When you locate the dress,

blow on these. All right.

Three sharp blasts. When you hear it,

come running.

>> All right.

>> Oh, they're pushing. They're pushing.

>> DON'T BE A BABY.

>> LET'S GO.

>> RACHEL, come on.

>> No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it.

Don't crowd me.

>> This is it. This is the dress. Oh my

god, it's perfect. I'm sorry. This one's

taken.

>> Wow.

>> Megan. Monica, you came.

>> Yeah, this is my dress.

>> No.

>> Yes, it is. You saw me wearing it and

now you'll see me buying it. What? You

freak. [laughter]

You wouldn't even have known about this

place if it wasn't for me. Look, you

don't want to fight me.

>> Maybe I do. I'm pretty feisty.

>> I'm coming. I'M COMING.

>> OKAY.

HEY, WHAT DO I DO? [screaming]

What are you doing?

>> Did you find the dress?

>> No. You got to get me out of here,

Phoebe. These bargain shoppers are

crazy.

>> I'M TRYING TO GET MONICA.

>> NO, YOU GOT TO HOLD MY HAND.

>> OH MY GOD.

It's

me.

>> GO, GO, GO.

>> [laughter]

>> I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M GOING TO MEET

Jessica Ashley. Wait,

>> please be cool, okay? I work with this

woman.

>> Okay, I'm totally cool.

>> Okay,

>> come in.

>> Hey, Jessica.

>> Hey, Jess.

>> This is my friend Rachel.

>> Hey, what's up?

>> Uh, listen. And here's your trophy. I

accepted it for you.

>> Oh my god. I won. Do you have any idea

what this means?

>> That That's it. You're not going to

You're not going to put on your shelf or

anything?

>> No. I try to save that for real awards.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

>> Take it back.

>> Absolutely.

>> Yeah. [laughter]

>> Yeah, YOU DO.

>> [laughter]

>> I THINK I JUST CRACKED A RIB. But I

don't care BECAUSE TODAY IS MY WEDDING

DAY. MY DAY IS finally here.

>> You know, she might not even notice he's

gone.

[laughter]

>> I'm going to start getting ready.

>> God, we can't let her start getting

ready. This is too awful.

>> Oh, God. But wait, she'll be in the gown

and then he won't show up and then she's

going to have to take off the gown and

stop it. Stop it, Rachel. You can't do

this here.

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just It's

just so sad.

>> You You've got to pull yourself

together. Monica can't see you like

this. Then she'll know something's

wrong.

>> I know. I know. God, there's no tissue.

Could you grab me some toilet paper?

>> Yes. [snorts]

>> Oh, that's gone, too. This is Monica's

bathroom, right? [laughter]

>> Oh, no. I I I found one. Oh, okay.

>> Oh, thank you. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Can I have another one?

>> Sure.

[laughter]

>> Do you need SOME FLOSS?

>> [laughter]

>> OH, I just cannot imagine what is going

to happen if Chandler doesn't show up.

>> Oh, here's a whole bunch. I mean, she's

going to be at the wedding waiting for

him and people will be whispering, "Oh,

that poor girl." You know, and then

she'll have to come back here and live

all alone.

>> Oh my god. What? There was a pregnancy

test in the garbage and it's positive.

Monica's pregnant,

so I guess she won't be totally alone.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
laughter /ˈlæftər/ A2	noun - the action or sound of laughing
trick /trɪk/ A2	noun - a clever act or device
wrap /ræp/ A2	verb - to cover something by winding a material around it
toilet /ˈtɔɪlɪt/ A1	noun - a fixture used for urination and defecation
jokes /dʒoʊks/ A2	noun - things said or done to cause amusement
stupid /ˈstupɪd/ A2	adjective - lacking intelligence or common sense
experience /ɪkˈspɪriəns/ B1	noun - knowledge or skill gained from doing something
seat /sit/ A1	noun - a place to sit
barefoot /ˈbɛərˌfʊt/ A2	adjective - without shoes
wedding /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ A2	noun - the ceremony of marriage
anticipation /ˌæntɪsɪˈpeɪʃən/ B2	noun - the act of looking forward to something
experience /ɪkˈspɪriəns/ B1	noun - an event or occurrence that leaves an impression on someone
professional /prəˈfɛʃənəl/ B1	adjective - relating to a job or career
qualified /ˈkwɑlɪfaɪd/ B1	adjective - having the necessary skills or knowledge
assistent /əˈsɪstənt/ A2	noun - a person who helps someone
ceremony /ˈsɛrəməni/ B1	noun - a formal religious or public occasion
vanilla /vəˈnɪlə/ B1	adjective - plain or ordinary

Key Grammar Structures

• I have a bone to pick with you.

  ➔ Idiomatic expression using the present perfect tense.

  ➔ The phrase "have a bone to pick" is an idiom meaning to have a grievance or complaint to discuss.

• You know, I hate practical jokes. They're mean and they're stupid and and I don't want my son learning them.

  ➔ Use of present simple for general truths and habits.

  ➔ The present simple is used here to express general feelings and habits, like hating practical jokes.

• I was barefoot.

  ➔ Use of past simple to describe a completed action.

  ➔ The past simple is used to describe a specific completed action in the past, like being barefoot.

• I'm a goal-oriented person. Very eager to learn.

  ➔ Use of present simple to describe permanent characteristics.

  ➔ The present simple is used to describe permanent traits or characteristics, like being goal-oriented.

• Would you just stand up, please?

  ➔ Use of modal verb 'would' for polite requests.

  ➔ The modal verb 'would' is used to make polite requests, as in asking someone to stand up.

• You don't get to keep the gifts.

  ➔ Use of 'do' for emphasis in negative sentences.

  ➔ The auxiliary verb 'do' is used to add emphasis in negative sentences, as in "You don't get to keep the gifts."

• I'm not saying that I am a lesbian. I'm just saying that this happened.

  ➔ Use of present continuous for emphasis and clarity.

  ➔ The present continuous is used here to emphasize the action and make the statement clearer, as in "I'm just saying that this happened."

• You hire the first one. You don't hire an assistant because they're cute.

  ➔ Use of imperative for direct commands.

  ➔ The imperative form is used to give direct commands or instructions, as in "You hire the first one."