– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

do

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

no no no no we're

[Applause]

done you go

kids and then the peacock bit

me please kiss me at

midnight you seen Sandy o uh I don't

know how to tell you this but uh she's

in Monica's bedroom getting it on with

Max that scien

geek oh look at that I did know how to

tell

you everybody the ball is ding

what the PO is dropping

it'll midnight and the moment of joy is

upon us looks like that no date pack

thing worked

out everybody looks so happy I hate that

not everybody's happy hey

Bobby

happy you know I uh just thought I'd

throw this out here I'm no math whz but

I do believe there are three girls and

three guys right here

I don't feel like kissing anyone

tonight I can't kiss anyone so I'm

kissing everyone no no no you can't kiss

Ross that's your brother yeah oh perfect

perfect so now everybody's going to kiss

but me all right somebody kiss me

somebody kiss me it's midnight somebody

kiss somebody kiss me it's midnight

[Applause]

it's you know I cannot believe we are

even having this discussion I agree I'm

like in

disbelief I mean don't you think if

things were going to happen with Rachel

they would have happened already I'm

telling you she said she's looking for a

relationship with someone exactly like

me she really said that well I added the

exactly like me

part but she said she's looking for

someone and someone is going to be there

tonight tonight tonight well I think

it's perfect you know it's just going to

be the two of us she spent all day

taking care of my monkey

I can't remember the last time I got a

girl to take care of my

[Laughter]

monkey anyway you I figured after work

I'd go pick up a bottle of wine go over

there and uh try to woo

her hey you know what you should do you

should take her back to the 1890s when

that phrase was last

used uh listen

um as long as we're telling stuff

uh I have another one for

you I'm a little younger than I

said you're not a senior oh I'm a

senior in high

school okay

what we did what's wrong oh God I just

had sex with someone who wasn't alive

during the

bicentennial I Just Had

Sex Ethan Focus how could you not tell

me well you never told me how old you

were well that's different my lie didn't

make one of us a felon in 48

states what were you thinking I wasn't

thinking I was too busy falling don't

say it in love with

you really

sorry well fall out of it you know you

shouldn't even be here it's a school

night oh God oh God I'm like those women

that you you see with shiny guys named

Chad I'm Joan Collins

who please what's wrong with Helen Helen

Geller I don't think so hello it's not

going to be Helen Geller thank you no I

mean it's not Geller what it's going to

be Helen willick no actually um we

talked about Helen willick

Bunch well wait a minute what why is she

in the title because it's my baby too

it's f really um I don't remember you

making any

sperm yeah we all know what a challenge

that is all right you two stop it no no

no if she gets a credit hey I'm in there

too pause you're not actually suggesting

Helen willick Bunch Geller cuz I think

that borders on child abuse of course

not I'm suggesting Geller willick bunch

I have something you can do I have this

new massage client

Steve anyway um he's is opening up a

restaurant and he's looking for a head

chef um hi

there hi oh yeah no I know you're a chef

I know and I thought of you first but um

Chandler's the one who needs a job right

now

so yeah I just don't have a lot of

chefing

experience unless it's an all Toast

restaurant yeah yeah well what kind of

food is he looking for well he wants to

do something eclectic so he's looking

for someone who can you know create the

entire menu oh my God yeah I know so

what do you

think thanks fee I just don't really see

myself in a big white hat

okay oh Monica guess what teally is your

zoo well it's technically not a zoo per

se it's a more of an interactive

Wildlife

Experience let me ask you some questions

about is it uh Marcel yes yes uh does he

uh fight with other

animals no no he's he's very docile H

even if he were

cornered I I don't know why um how is he

handling small

objects he can hold a banana if that's

what you

mean what about a hammer or a small

blade why why why why why would he need

a blade if he's up against a jungle cat

or an animal with horns you got to give

the little guy something otherwise it's

just

cruel he got it he got in San Diego what

oh did you hear that Marcel oh San Diego

San

Diego you're making a big mistake here I

mean San Diego's all very well and good

but if you give him to me I'll start him

off against a Blind Rabbit and give you

20% of the gate

hi Sandy Sandy hi come on

in you brought your kids yeah that's

okay

right you know when I saw you at the

store last week it was probably the

first first time I ever mentally

undressed an

elf wow that's uh

dirty

yeah hey kids I had a dream last night

where I was playing football with my kid

it's nice it's nice no no with

him I'm on this field and they they hike

me the

baby and I know I've got to do something

cuz the Tampa Bay defense is coming

right at me Tampa Bay's got a terrible

team right

but it is just me and the baby so I'm

thinking they can take

us and so I uh I just heave it down

field what are you crazy that's a baby

he should take the

sack anyway Sun I'm downfield and I

realize that I'm the one who's supposed

to catch him right only I know there was

no way I'm going to get there in time

right so I am running and I'm running

and that that is when I woke up see I I

am so not ready to be a father hey

you're going to be fine you're one of

the most caring most responsible men in

North

America you're going to make a great dad

yeah Ross you and the baby just need

better blocking

[Music]

all rich we're running low on resumes

over here do you really want to job with

Popular Mechanics well if you're going

to work for mechanics those are the ones

to work

for hey look you guys I'm going for

anything here okay I cannot be a

waitress anymore I mean it sick of the

lousy tips sick of being called excuse

me

ra did you proofread

these uh yeah why uh nothing I'm sure

they'll be impressed with your excellent

compuer

skills oh my god oh do you think it's on

all of

them oh no I'm sure the Xerox machine

caught a fuel could she be more out of

my league Ross back me up here he can

never get a woman like that in a million

years thank you buddy

oh oh but you know you always see these

really beautiful women with these really

nothing guys you could be one of those

guys you could do that yeah absolutely

oh God I can't believe I'm even

considering this I'm very very aware of

my tongue come on come on here

goes yes hi um okay next word would be

uh

Chandler Chandler is my name and

uh

hi yes you said that yes yes I did but

what I didn't say was what I was about

to say what I wanted to say was uh would

you like to go out with me sometime

thank you good night W you guys sure

have a lot of books about being a

lesbian well you know you you have to

take a course

otherwise they don't let you do

it hey hey yle the turtle a classic

actually I'm reading it to the

baby the uh the baby that hasn't been

born

yet um wouldn't that mean you're

crazy but you don't think they can hear

sounds in

there you're not serious I mean you you

really you really talk to it yeah all

the time I want the baby to know my

voice do you uh do you talk about me

yeah yeah all the time really but um we

just refer to you as Bobo the sperm

guy you know I don't know why you're so

embarrassed they were very nice boob

nice they were nice I mean that's it I

mean mittens are

nice okay rock hard place

[Laughter]

me you're so

funny he's really

funny I wouldn't want to be there when

when the laughter

stops whoa whoa back up there Sparky

what did you mean by

that well just seems as though that

maybe you have intimacy issues you know

that you use your humor as a way of

keeping people at a

distance huh I mean hey I just met you I

don't know you from

Adam only child

right parents divorced before you hit

puberty uh-huh how did you know that

it's textbook

hey you guys you all know my

Dad hey how long you in the city just

for a couple of days I got a job Midtown

I figure I'm better off staying with the

kid than hauling my ass back and forth

on a ferry I don't know this one oh this

is my friend Roger hi hey hey good to

meet you Roger you too sir what happened

to the uh puppet guy dad oh oh excuse me

so Ros how's the wife uh

all for

two uh Chan the quick say something

funny so how'd it go it was amazing you

know how you always think you're great

in bed the fact that you'd even ask that

question shows how little you know

me well it's like last night I couldn't

do the thing that usually makes me great

so I had to do all this other stuff and

the response I got man oh man was like a

tick or tape parade

yes I know as it happens my room is very

very close to the parade

route it was amazing and not just for

her uh for me too it's like all of a

sudden I'm blind but all my other senses

are heightened you know it's like I was

able to appreciate it on another

level I didn't know you you had another

level R she wants you she barely knows

me we just live in the same building any

contact uh she L me an egg once you're

in oh right hey Ross

hey come on Ross you got to get back in

the game here okay the Rachel thing's

not happening your ex-wife's a

lesbian I don't think we need a

excuse me can we get an egg over here

still in the show thanks an egg yeah

you're going to go up to her and say

Here's your egg back I'm returning your

egg I think it's

winning come on I think it's insane

she'll love

it thank you thank you

here is go with the egg my

friend go go go

they it it work no way it's suicide the

man's got an egg

[Music]

Key Grammar Structures

• I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight, I can't kiss anyone so I'm kissing everyone.

  ➔ verb + like + gerund / negative modal + present progressive

  ➔ The word **"like"** introduces a gerund (kissing). The second clause uses the negative modal **"can’t"** followed by the present progressive **"am kissing"**.

• If things were going to happen with Rachel, they would have happened already.

  ➔ Second conditional (past simple in if‑clause, would + perfect infinitive)

  ➔ The clause **"were going"** (past simple) sets an unreal condition, and **"would have happened"** expresses a past result that didn’t occur.

• She said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.

  ➔ Reported speech (present progressive) + relative clause with "like"

  ➔ The reporting verb **"said"** introduces a clause in the present progressive (**"she's looking"**). The phrase **"someone exactly like me"** is a relative clause using **"like"** to compare.

• I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.

  ➔ Simple past + relative clause with past simple "wasn't"

  ➔ The verb **"had"** is in the simple past. The relative clause **"who wasn't alive"** also uses the past simple to describe a past state.

• He wants to do something eclectic so he's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.

  ➔ Infinitive after "want" + relative clause with modal "can" + infinitive

  ➔ The verb **"wants"** is followed by the infinitive **"to do"**. The relative clause **"who can create"** uses the modal **"can"** plus infinitive **"create"**.

• I don't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.

  ➔ Negative verb + infinitive "to take care of" after past simple "got"

  ➔ The main clause **"don't remember"** is negative. The embedded clause uses **"got"** (past simple) followed by the infinitive **"to take care of"**.

• I think it's perfect, you know, it's just going to be the two of us.

  ➔ Future with "going to" + parenthetical clause "you know"

  ➔ The verb phrase **"going to be"** expresses a planned future. The parenthetical **"you know"** functions as a discourse marker.

• I can't believe we are even having this discussion.

  ➔ Negative modal "can't" + present progressive "are having" + intensifier "even"

  ➔ The modal **"can't"** negates belief, and the present progressive **"are having"** shows an ongoing action. The adverb **"even"** adds emphasis.

• I don't really see myself in a big white hat.

  ➔ Reflexive pronoun "myself" after verb "see" + prepositional phrase

  ➔ The verb **"see"** takes the reflexive pronoun **"myself"** to indicate the speaker’s own image, followed by the prepositional phrase **"in a big white hat"**.