– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

you are dead meat I didn't know it was a

big

secret oh it's not big not at all you

know kind on the same lines as say oh I

don't know having a third

nipple you have a third

nipple you

whip it out whip it out oh come on

there's nothing to see it's just a tiny

bump it's totally useless oh is as a

supposed to your other multifunctional

nipples I can't believe you you told me

it was a

nubbin joy what do you think a nubbin

was I don't know you see something you

hear a word I thought that's what it

[Music]

was Joey m

Joey Chandler what are you still doing

here I thought you guys took off oh no

no no she took off with my

clothes are you naked in there well not

exactly wearing

panties

huh you uh you always wear

panties no no this is the first

time wow talk about your bad luck I mean

the first time you try panties and

someone walks off with your

clothes I was not trying them out Susie

asked me to wear them well let me see

no I'm not letting you or anybody else

see ever all right all

right

whoa someone's flossing

Joey some people don't like

that Chandler's wearing panties what let

me see no no you don't have to

see hi

tushy all right one of you give me your

underpants oh no no no can't help you

I'm not wearing

any how can you not be wearing any

underwear oh I'm getting heat from the

guy in the hot pink thong

all right look Ross I'll give you $50

for your

underpants

[Music]

[Music]

hey I have had enough of this all right

Gunther these guys are trying to take

our

seat tell us these guys were here first

oh sorry didn't realize there you go

thank you

Gunther we didn't want to have to go and

do

that he told on

us you told on us well pal you didn't

give me much of a

choice don't play with his thing I

know all

right let's take this

outside let's let's take this

outside who talks like

that the guy who's about to kick your

ass talks like that you had to ask

yeah okay okay look see

the thing is we're we're not going to

fight you

guys well then here's the deal you won't

have to so long as you never ever show

your faces in this coffee house ever

again what have you been up to oh you

know teaching

aerobics partying way too

much oh and in case you were wondering

those are my legs on the new James Bond

poster

can you hold on a moment I have another

call I love her I

know I'm back so are we going to get

together or what uh absolutely uh how

about tomorrow afternoon do you know uh

Central Perk in the village say fiveish

great I'll see you then

okay

okay having a phone has finally paid

off okay even though you do do a good

Bob impression I'm thinking when she

sees you tomorrow she's probably going

to realize hey you're not

Bob I am hoping that when Bob doesn't

show up she will seek comfort in the

Open Arms of the Ry stranger at the next

table oh my God you are pure

evil okay pure

evil horny and

alone I've done this there's only one

banana nut muffin left oh well order

first yeah but I'm I'm so much

faster give it to me no give it to

me okay you can have

it there you go enjoy your

coffee that was there when I got

here hey you guys you will never guess

who's coming coming to New York quick

Phoebe tell us before you can swallow

okay Ryan that guy I went out with who's

in the

Navy you went out with a guy in the Navy

yeah I met him when I was I'm playing

guitar in Washington Square Park Ryan

threw in saltwater taffy cuz he didn't

have any change hey is that when you

wrote saltwater taffy man

no no he is my submarine guy he

resurfaces like every couple years and

we have the most amazing three days

together only this time he's coming for

two weeks two whole weeks which means

yay so wait this guy goes down for like

two years at a

time that'll teach you to lick my

muffin

hi oh no what happened I just spoke to

Carol Ben's got the chicken poox you

kidding yeah so if you haven't already

had it chances are you're going to get

it well I've had it yeah I've had it had

it had it well I haven't ever had it I

feel so left out oh

look wow I I don't know what to

say what do you say I don't

know it's a bracelet isn't it and it's

engraved too check it

out to my best bud

[Laughter]

thanks best

bud put it on oh

now no no I think something this nice

should be Sav for a special occasion oh

no no that's the beauty part it goes

with

everything put this on you're good to

go man you are so wearing that

bracelet I show I am hey whoa oh you

want some of this huh you want a piece

of this huh you standing here huh hey

hey those guys are taking her

stuff get out

[Applause]

way God that was that was amazing that

was incredible you guys you guys kicked

butt us what about you guys man you

really Bing gave it to all Mr Clean back

there he was a big guy yeah he was

wasn't he I wouldn't know having missed

everything oh don't do that to you

yourself any one of us could have

tripped over that little girl's jump

rope so listen guys are we

uh are we okay

here we're okay all right okay so can I

have my hat

back

no

huh man this is weird weird you ever

realize C crunch his eyebrows are

actually on his hat that's what's weird

Joey the man's been captain of a cereal

for the last 40

years oh look what the spoon you licked

and and you

put you licked in you

put yeah so well don't you see how gross

that is I mean that's like you're using

my

toothbrush you use my toothbrush

well that was only cuz I used the red

one to unclog the

drain mine is the red

one oh God can open worms

everywhere hey why can't we use the same

toothbrush but we can use the same soap

because soap is

soap it's

selfcleaning all right well next time

you take a shower think about the last

thing I wash and the first thing you

wash

you will all be pleased to know that I

have a date tomorrow

night this woman Allison from work she

is great she's pretty she's smart and uh

I've been holding off asking her out in

the past because she has a

uh unusually large

head but I'm not going to let that stuff

hang me up

anymore look at me I'm

[Applause]

growing oh my major was totally useless

I mean how often do you look in the

class classified and philosopher wanted

sure my God that's a big

head it didn't look this big in the

office maybe it's the lighting my head

must look like a golf ball at

work all right don't get hung up on it

quick quick list five things you like

about her nice smile good dresser big

head big head big

head what was that hi um I just thought

that it it would be fun if the three of

us had some beers and got to know each

other all right that sounds all right oh

good okay oh no I have to go because I'm

late for my um Green Eggs and Ham

Discussion

Group um tonight it's why he would not

eat them on a

train have fun bye that was so lame I

know

yeah hey talk to

him so you uh

you think that Speed Racer guy gets a

lot of tickets

or that's good that's good so so so who

broke up with who what are you kidding I

broke up with her she actually thought

that Shawn Penn was the capital of

Cambodia good me when everybody knows

that the uh the capital of Cambodia

is well it's not champan not

champan all right I got a funny one all

right my last girlfriend Tilly okay

we're eating breakfast right and I made

all these pant Pancakes there was like

50 pancakes right and all of a sudden

she turns to me all right and she says

Eddie I said yeah she says Eddie I don't

want to see you anymore and it was

literally like she had had reached into

my chest ripped out my heart and and

smeared it all over my life you know hey

Monica we got a question all right for

the zillionth time yes I see other women

in the shower at the gym and no I don't

look no not that one we're trying to

figure out who to bring to the Nicks

game tonight we have an extra ticket

yeah Ross can't go so it's between my

friend Eric prow who has breath issues

and Dan with the poking did you see that

play do you want some more beer is that

LE

okay he why don't you ask

Richard okay uh hey Richard if you had

an extra ticket to the Knicks

game and you had to choose between a

friend who smelled and one who bruises

you who would you pick wow well being a

huge Nicks fan myself I think you should

take someone who's a huge Nicks

fan okay that's

Eric glad to be of help

matches I meant why don't you take

Richard to the

game

what I don't know come on he keeps his

fingers to himself and he's always minty

fresh I rich it's really nice and

everything uh it's just so we don't know

know him really well you know and plus

he's you know

old or than some

people but uh younger than some

buildings just seems so feudal you know

all these women and

nothing I feel like Superman without my

Powers you

know I have the cape and yet I cannot

fly

[Laughter]

well now you understand how I feel every

single

day okay the world is my lesbian

wedding I shouldn't even bother coming

up with a line

right all right look

penisus okay we're all

people so how's your date with your

cyber chick going oh hey what is all

that oh it's a website it's the

Guggenheim Museum see uh she likes art

and I like funny

words what does she mean by

HH it means we're holding

hands are you the cutest I'm afraid I

might just

be you know what I think is so great

that you are totally into this person

yet for all you know she could be like

90 years old or have two heads

or it could be a

guy okay it's not a guy all right I know

her it could be like a big giant

guy I am not interested in the guy's

apartment oh please I saw the way you

were checking out his

moldings you want it why would I want

another apartment huh I've already got

an apartment that I love well it

wouldn't kill you to say it once in a

while

all right you want the truth I'm

thinking about

it what I'm sorry I'm 28 years old I've

never lived alone and I'm finally at a

place where I got enough money that I

don't need a roommate anymore whoa whoa

whoa I don't need a roommate either okay

I can afford to live here by myself you

know I may have to bring in somebody

once a week to lick the

silverware what are you getting so bent

out of shape for huh it's not like we

agreed to live together forever we're

not Burt

Ernie hi it's me oh my

God Janice you called

Janice yes Janice why is that so

difficult for you to comprehend you

remember Janice

right yes she was smart she was pretty

and she honestly cared about me Janice

is my last chance to have

somebody

hello oh my

God jeez look how fat she

got hey it's

[Music]

everybody Janice you're yes I

am is it is it yours ha You Wish

Chandler

Bing you are looking at a married lady

now oh

yes

congratulations oh sweetie I'm sorry you

couldn't have told me about this over

the phone and what miss the expression

on your face oh no Janice likes to have

her

fun peon Sandy just made

them yeah all

right what are these raising

uh sure why

not listen Eddie

um I've been thinking about our current

living situation and uh why are you

smiling I got a little surprise look got

a new fishy I named him uh Chandler you

know after after you

[Laughter]

well that's not even a real

fish no that's a Goldfish

cracker so what's your point

man okay good night you big freaking

nature listen Bing I received your memo

so we're not going to see the systems

report until next Friday well the people

in my group want to spend the holiday

weekend with their family I have a

family I'm going to be here yeah Bing

what's that

about it's about cutting my people a

little slack you know for morale look if

you want to see some rough numbers I can

get them to you by Wednesday rough

numbers this company was not built on

rough numbers am I right

Mr have the final numbers on my desk by

Tuesday if you say so

sir Joseph's good isn't

he well I'm going to kill

you hey hey I just figured Joseph's the

kind of guy who likes to mix it up you

know get in there ruffle some

feathers

why look I'm sorry but that's what

Joseph

does okay if you try to pull something

he'll call you on it what do trying to

pull he'll

say you had sex today wow it sounds even

cooler when somebody else says

it I was awesome okay she was biting her

lip to stop from screaming wow now I

know it's been a while but I took that

as a good

sign still doing the screening thing I

had sex

today I never have to answer that phone

again

comes to be you know what to

do hey Bob it's Jade listen I just

wanted to tell you that I was really

hurt when you didn't show up the other

day and just so you know I ended up

meeting a

guy Bob here oh hi so uh you met someone

huh yes yes I did in fact I had sex with

him two hours

ago so uh how was he

[Applause]

eh oh Bob he was nothing compared to

you I had to bite my lip to keep from

screaming your

name well that makes me feel so

good it was just so awkward and bumpy

well maybe he has some kind of uh new uh

cool style that you're not familiar with

and uh maybe you have to get used to it

well there really wasn't much time to

get used to it if you know what I mean

it's 6:30 in the morning we're not

working out it's

over no way with one pound to go come on

we're working we're moving we're in this

Z we're

grooving okay I don't I don't mind the

last pound okay in fact I kind of like

the last pound

okay so don't make me do anything that

I'll

regret what you going to do fat boy

huh

what nothing except tell you uh I think

it's wonderful how much energy you have

well thanks I mean especially

considering how tough it's been for you

to find

work you

know you know I mean you can't tell your

parents you were fired because they'd be

disappointed

uh-huh and it's not as if you have a

boyfriend's shoulder to cry

on well no but I I mean if it were me I

think I'd have difficulty just getting

out of bed at

all you know I try to stay

positive so

you you feel like going for a run

all right because you know you don't

have to if you want you could just take

a nap right

here

okay just for a little while

[Music]

[Applause]

okay hey oh where is he where Richard

did you ditch him yeah right after we

stole his lunch money and gave him a

wedgie what's the matter with you he's

Park in the car don't you guys have fun

your boyfriend is so cool really yeah he

let us drive his Jaguar joy for 12 blcks

me for 15

wow he must like you the

best oh and what about that thing he did

when he tipped the guy who showed us to

our seats you never even saw the money

it was like this hey Chandler thanks for

showing us to our seats

you're welcome hey Joey thanks for

parking the car no

problem hey chanler I think they get it

okay there's the man

hey hey you're getting better I'm going

to keep this by the

way he kept my dollar hey you didn't

microwave that did you because it's

breast milk and you're not supposed to

do that duh I think I know how to eat

breast milk

okay what did you just

do I licked my arm what it's breast

milk oh baby that is that is juice

squeezed from a

person what is the big deal no

no what did you just

do okay can people stop drinking the

breast

milk you won't even taste it no not even

if you just pretend that it's milk not

even if Carol's breast had a picture of

a missing child

[Music]

on

hey how did we do oh I tasted Ben's milk

and Ross freaked out I did not freak out

why' you freak out because it's breast

milk it's gross my breast milk is

gross this should be

fun no no Carol there's nothing wrong

with it I just I just don't think breast

milk is for adults of course the

packaging does appeal to grown-ups

and Ross you were being silly I've tried

it it's no big deal come on just taste

it that would be

no it's natural it doesn't taste bad

yeah tastes kind of sweet sort of like

uh like what cantaloupe juice

exactly you've tasted

it you you you've tasted it

uh-huh oh you've tasted

it you can keep saying it but it won't

stop being true

give me the

bottle get me the towel

[Music]

[Laughter]

my

B listen

uh I don't know what I'm going to see

you again well I'm guessing uh tonight

at the coffee house right yeah okay uh

take care yeah

[Music]

[Music]

you know you should go outside and be

with the three-dimensional

people no inside

good outside bad

you guys are so pathetic oh oh Z

Jo she's one of us

now hi you guys hey

hey now we just want to stop by and uh

say good night good

night look at that they won't even turn

their heads all right you guys taking

off my shirt

[Applause]

nah she's lying where is she where is

she oh hey I have a question where is

she oh Chandler relax Chandler shall be

here oh oh oh that's her yeah cuz life's

just that

kind Chandler you got to stop staring at

the door it's like a watched pot you

know if you keep looking at it then the

door is I'm never going to

boil I think what you have to do is try

not

to oh my

God

oh

my

God

oh my God

hello hey Hey listen I'm I'm sorry I

didn't make it over there today oh

that's okay you uh you had a

thing yeah well I hear the place looks

great oh forget about it I'm having a

ball how's the apartment doing oh hey

it's it's terrific I mean it's a regular

space

Fest oh well great yeah I just you know

wanted to call and say

hey well okay

then was that the oven

timer that's right my friend it's time

for B

[Music]

watch can you believe they gave

Stephanie skin cancer I still can't

believe they promoted her to

Lieutenant a you're just saying that cuz

you're in love with Yas Meine bleed well

how could anyone not be in love with

yasm ble

[Music]

Le hey hey they're

running see this is the Brilliance of

the

show i' say always keep them

running all the time running

run run run yes mean run

like hey

pal Eddie what are you still doing here

uh just some basic dehydrating of a few

fruits and vegetables man alive this

thing's

Fantastic look Eddie aren't you

forgetting anything oh yeah that's right

look I got a a new goldfish he's a lot

feistier than the last one yeah maybe

cuz the last one was made by pepp

Farm look Eddie isn't there something

else you're supposed to be doing right

now well not unless it's got something

to do with dehydrating my man cuz right

now I'm a dehydrating

Mania look you have to help me out here

I thought we had a deal I thought by the

time I got you know what that

is your last roommate's

kidney that's a that's a

tomato this one definitely goes in the

display you see the display

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
secret /ˈsiːkrɪt/ B1	noun - something kept hidden or unknown.
whip /wɪp/ B1	verb - to move quickly and forcefully.
useless /ˈjuːsləs/ B1	adjective - not effective; having no value.
totally /ˈtoʊtəli/ A2	adverb - completely; absolutely.
nubbin /ˈnʌbɪn/ B2	noun - a small, undeveloped growth.
naked /ˈneɪkɪd/ A2	adjective - without clothing.
panties /ˈpæntiːz/ A2	noun - underpants worn by women or girls.
flossing /ˈflɑːsɪŋ/ B1	verb - cleaning between teeth with floss.
underwear /ˈʌndərwer/ A2	noun - clothing worn next to the skin.
heat /hiːt/ A2	noun - the condition of being hot.
seat /siːt/ A1	noun - a place to sit.
choice /tʃɔɪs/ B1	noun - the act of selecting.
outside /ˌaʊtˈsaɪd/ A1	adverb - in or to an open space.
aerobics /eəˈroʊbɪks/ B1	noun - a system of physical exercise.
poster /ˈpoʊstər/ A2	noun - a large printed notice or advertisement.
comfort /ˈkʌmfərt/ B1	noun - a state of physical ease and freedom from pain.
evil /ˈiːvəl/ B1	adjective - profoundly immoral and wicked.

Key Grammar Structures

• you are dead meat I didn't know it was a big secret oh it's not big not at all

  ➔ Contractions (didn't, it's, not at all)

  ➔ Contractions like "didn't" (did not), "it's" (it is), and "not at all" are used for informal, conversational tone.

• you know kind on the same lines as say oh I don't know having a third nipple

  ➔ Phrasal verb (on the same lines as)

  ➔ The phrasal verb "on the same lines as" means similar to or comparable with.

• what do you think a nubbin was I don't know you see something you hear a word

  ➔ Tag question (I don't know, you see)

  ➔ Tag questions like "I don't know" and "you see" are added to statements to seek confirmation or agreement.

• Joey Chandler what are you still doing here I thought you guys took off

  ➔ Direct address (Joey Chandler)

  ➔ Direct address is used to call someone's name directly in a sentence, as in "Joey Chandler".

• whoa someone's flossing Joey some people don't like that

  ➔ Present continuous (someone's flossing)

  ➔ The present continuous tense is used to describe an action happening now, as in "someone's flossing".

• I'm thinking when she sees you tomorrow she's probably going to realize

  ➔ Future with 'be going to' (she's probably going to realize)

  ➔ The future with 'be going to' is used to express a prediction based on present evidence, as in "she's probably going to realize".

• hey you guys you will never guess who's coming coming to New York

  ➔ Double emphasis (who's coming coming)

  ➔ Double emphasis is used to stress a point, as in repeating "coming" for dramatic effect.

• you're wearing panties no I'm not letting you or anybody else see ever

  ➔ Negative imperative (not letting you see)

  ➔ The negative imperative is used to give a strong prohibition, as in "not letting you see".