Now look, there's only one problem,
00:01
00:02
though. There's only room for one. So, I
00:02
00:04
guess one of you will have to stay at
00:04
00:05
Joey's.
00:05
00:07
>> Well, since the fire was kind of my
00:07
00:09
fault, I guess you should get to stay
00:09
00:11
here.
00:11
00:11
>> Hey, hey, hey. Now, this was no one's
00:11
00:13
fault, Feebs. Okay. It was an accident.
00:14
00:15
>> Well, no, it was my fault. So, you
00:15
00:17
should get the nice room.
00:17
00:18
>> Okay.
00:18
00:21
>> So, Ra, you're the first guest at Hotel
00:21
00:23
Monica.
00:23
00:24
>> Yeah. Um, you just have to tell me how
00:24
00:25
you like your eggs in the morning. And I
00:25
00:27
thought I would bring them to you, you
00:27
00:28
know, in bed. What? You've been through
00:28
00:30
so much.
00:30
00:31
>> I have.
00:31
00:33
>> This right here is where I keep the
00:34
00:35
pizza.
00:35
00:38
>> And uh that's where the napkin is.
00:38
00:41
>> What's that smell?
00:41
00:42
>> I know. I
00:42
00:45
[Applause]
00:45
00:47
>> So, did you sleep well last night?
00:47
00:49
>> I did. Yeah,
00:49
00:50
>> I did. Monica was so sweet. She left a
00:50
00:52
little mint on my pillow.
00:52
00:54
>> You know what Joey left on my pillow?
00:54
00:56
What?
00:56
00:56
>> Gum.
00:56
00:58
>> Well, we determined the cause of the
00:58
01:00
fire.
01:00
01:01
>> Yeah, I know. I know. It was my candle.
01:01
01:02
My candle.
01:02
01:05
>> No, there was an appliance left on in
01:05
01:07
the bathroom. It looks like a curling
01:07
01:08
iron.
01:08
01:09
>> I don't use a curling iron.
01:09
01:10
>> Well, someone does.
01:10
01:12
>> Don't look at me. My hair's straight.
01:12
01:14
Straight. Straight. Straight.
01:14
01:16
>> Could have been a hair straightener.
01:16
01:18
>> Oh,
01:18
01:21
this is where I keep the pizza.
01:21
01:24
Hey. Hey, where'd the napkin go?
01:24
01:30
[Music]
01:30
01:30
[Applause]
01:30
01:35
>> Oh my god. Rachel Green.
01:35
01:38
>> Rob Tilman.
01:38
01:40
>> No, no, it's it's me, Ross.
01:40
01:43
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.
01:43
01:47
>> No, no, no. Ross Geller.
01:47
01:50
>> Oh, of course. Monica's brother.
01:50
01:52
>> Yeah, right.
01:52
01:53
>> Wow. How are you?
01:53
01:55
>> Good. Good. I'm I'm married.
01:55
01:57
>> Oh, me too.
01:57
01:58
>> Oh, isn't it the best?
01:58
02:01
>> Oh, it's the best.
02:01
02:06
>> So, um, how's Monica?
02:06
02:07
>> Oh, really? Really great. Yeah,
02:07
02:10
actually, she's right down the street.
02:10
02:11
Um, do you you know what? You should
02:11
02:13
stop by and say hi.
02:13
02:14
>> Oh, I would love to.
02:14
02:15
>> Yeah. Oh. Oh, she'd be so excited.
02:15
02:17
>> Oh. Oh, come on. Oh, wait. Don't you
02:17
02:19
have to pay for your busty ladies?
02:19
02:25
No, no, no. That's a It's okay. Some
02:25
02:27
Some kid asked me to pick it up for him,
02:27
02:29
but I
02:29
02:30
>> Oh,
02:30
02:32
>> guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting
02:32
02:35
a divorce.
02:35
02:36
>> Oh my god.
02:36
02:37
>> Wow.
02:37
02:37
>> What is the matter with you?
02:37
02:41
>> No. Barry and Mindy.
02:41
02:43
>> Oh, sorry. I hear divorce. I immediately
02:43
02:46
go to Ross.
02:46
02:48
>> Who? Who's Barry and Mindy?
02:48
02:50
>> Barry was the guy that I almost married.
02:50
02:52
And Mindy was my best friend.
02:52
02:53
>> Oh. Oh, wasn't he cheating on you with
02:53
02:55
her?
02:55
02:55
>> Yeah, but that just means that he was
02:55
02:56
falling asleep on top of her instead of
02:56
02:58
me.
02:58
03:00
>> God, can you imagine if I'd actually
03:00
03:01
married him? I mean, how different would
03:01
03:03
my life be?
03:03
03:04
>> I know what you mean. I've always
03:04
03:06
wondered how different my life would be
03:06
03:07
if if I'd never gotten divorced.
03:07
03:09
>> Which time?
03:09
03:10
>> The first time.
03:10
03:12
>> Well, seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't
03:12
03:14
realized she was a lesbian.
03:14
03:18
>> I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.
03:18
03:22
I bet I'd still be doing my karate.
03:22
03:26
Towards the end of our marriage, I was
03:26
03:28
doing a lot of karate as a way of
03:28
03:30
releasing the tension from, you know,
03:30
03:32
not doing anything else physical.
03:32
03:34
>> Maybe the problem was you were
03:34
03:35
pronouncing it karate.
03:36
03:38
>> She's my best friend.
03:38
03:39
>> Well, Joey's my best friend.
03:39
03:42
>> I'm not your best friend.
03:42
03:45
>> You just said,
03:45
03:48
>> "Of course you're my best friend. Would
03:48
03:51
you please tell Rachel, though?
03:51
03:53
>> All right. All right. At least I'm
03:53
03:55
prepared.
03:55
03:55
>> Okay.
03:55
03:58
>> Oh, yes.
03:58
03:58
>> Hey.
03:58
03:59
>> Hey. Hey.
03:59
04:01
>> These aren't for you. Are you upset?
04:01
04:02
>> I am now.
04:02
04:07
>> Hey, room me.
04:07
04:09
>> Okay. Bye.
04:09
04:14
>> Ra,
04:14
04:15
there's something um important I have to
04:15
04:18
tell you. Are you pregnant?
04:18
04:21
>> No, but I'm throwing the shirt away.
04:21
04:25
>> I think there was a little
04:25
04:26
misunderstanding before
04:26
04:28
>> um when I said that uh that Chandler and
04:28
04:31
I wanted to um live together,
04:32
04:34
we meant alone together.
04:34
04:41
Oh my god. Oh, that's funny. I can't
04:42
04:44
believe I did that.
04:44
04:45
>> Oh no, sweetie. No. You know what? This
04:45
04:47
is my fault. I I wasn't clear. I I'm
04:47
04:50
really sorry.
04:50
04:52
>> And and listen, you take as much time as
04:52
04:55
you need to move out, okay? There's
04:55
04:56
absolutely no rush.
04:56
04:59
>> Okay.
04:59
05:03
>> Hey.
05:03
05:03
>> Hey. What have you guys been up to?
05:04
05:05
>> Oh, we went to a self-defense class
05:05
05:07
today.
05:07
05:07
>> Wow.
05:07
05:08
>> Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch all
05:08
05:10
morning really takes it out of you.
05:10
05:12
>> Takes it out of you.
05:12
05:16
>> No. Now we can kick anybody's ass
05:16
05:18
>> after one class. I don't think so.
05:18
05:21
>> What? You want to see me self-defend
05:21
05:23
myself? Go over there and pretend you're
05:23
05:25
a sexual predator. Go on. I dare you.
05:25
05:29
>> Of course you could defend yourself from
05:29
05:31
an attack you know is coming. That's not
05:31
05:33
enough. Look, I studied karate for a
05:33
05:37
long time.
05:37
05:40
And there's a concept you should really
05:40
05:42
be familiar with. It's what the Japanese
05:42
05:44
call unagi.
05:44
05:49
>> Isn't that a kind of sushi?
05:49
05:52
>> No, it's a concept.
05:52
05:53
>> Yeah, it is. It is. It's freshwater
05:53
05:54
heel.
05:54
05:56
>> All right, maybe it means that, too.
05:56
05:58
>> Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll
05:58
06:00
right now.
06:00
06:03
>> You know, fine. Get attacked. I don't
06:03
06:04
even care.
06:04
06:06
>> Come on, Ross. We're sorry. Please tell
06:06
06:08
us what it is.
06:08
06:12
Unagi is a state of total awareness.
06:12
06:17
Okay. Only by achieving true unagi can
06:17
06:20
you be prepared for any danger that may
06:20
06:22
befall you.
06:22
06:25
>> You mean in case someone's trying to
06:25
06:27
steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your
06:27
06:28
kettle of fish?
06:28
06:34
>> All I'm saying is it's one thing being
06:34
06:36
prepared for an attack against like each
06:36
06:38
other. Whole another story being
06:38
06:40
prepared for an attack. I don't like
06:40
06:42
surprise.
06:42
06:47
[Laughter]
06:47
06:51
>> All right. You knew that was coming. But
06:51
06:53
that doesn't mean you have unagi.
06:53
06:58
[Applause]
06:58
07:00
>> Oh, you know what? If we made
07:00
07:01
reservations, we could have unagi in
07:01
07:03
about a half hour.
07:03
07:05
[Music]
07:05
07:08
>> It was good.
07:08
07:09
>> Oh, yeah. It's the last time.
07:09
07:11
Danger.
07:11
07:17
>> What the hell was that?
07:17
07:19
>> A lesson in the importance of unagi.
07:19
07:25
>> Oh, you're a freak.
07:25
07:29
>> Perhaps.
07:29
07:31
Now, I'm curious. At what point during
07:31
07:34
those girish screams would you have
07:34
07:36
begun to kick my ass?
07:36
07:40
All right. So, we weren't prepared.
07:40
07:45
>> I'm sorry I had to take such drastic
07:45
07:47
measures to make my point, but I look, I
07:47
07:49
just want you guys to be safe.
07:49
07:52
>> Danger.
07:52
07:58
Uhhuh.
07:58
08:00
Unagi.
08:00
08:06
[Music]
08:06
08:08
[Applause]
08:08
08:10
danger.
08:10
08:12
[Laughter]
08:12
08:14
[Applause]
08:14
08:18
Ah,
08:18
08:20
salmon skin roll
08:20
08:24
[Music]
08:24
08:27
sayac. Yeah, Alex Tbec. Oh, of course.
08:27
08:31
Chuck Woolery. Definitely, Phoebe. You
08:31
08:34
will not find a single game show host
08:34
08:37
whose ass I cannot kick.
08:37
08:42
[Laughter]
08:42
08:47
>> No.
08:47
08:48
>> Say it. Say we are unagi.
08:48
08:52
>> It's not something you are. It's
08:52
08:54
something you have.
08:54
08:57
>> Say it.
08:57
08:58
>> You know what? I could easily get out of
08:58
08:59
this, but there's a chance you could get
08:59
09:01
very, very hurt.
09:01
09:06
[Music]
09:06
09:11
Uh-huh.
09:11
09:12
Nowhere to run.
09:12
09:17
>> I don't like sitting up here. I'm I'm
09:17
09:19
going to go over. Wait till they got
09:19
09:21
here first.
09:21
09:25
[Laughter]
09:25
09:31
Why is Ross doing that?
09:31
09:32
>> Danger.
09:32
09:33
>> Oh my god. Why is he jumping on those
09:33
09:36
women?
09:36
09:39
>> We should help them.
09:39
09:42
I I don't think they need any help.
09:42
09:54
Um.
09:54
10:03
Um.
10:03
10:19
Why have we been together?
10:19
10:21
>> I don't know.
10:21
10:25
>> Do Do you have Do you have any clothes
10:25
10:26
on?
10:26
10:28
>> Yes.
10:28
10:29
>> Really?
10:29
10:29
>> No.
10:30
10:34
>> But we we didn't have
10:34
10:37
sex. Uh, did we?
10:37
10:41
I mean, I don't remember much about last
10:41
10:44
night. It was such a blur.
10:44
10:48
>> Oh, I remember laughing.
10:48
10:51
>> I laughed a lot.
10:51
10:52
>> Then we didn't have sex.
10:52
10:57
>> Oh.
10:57
10:59
Oh, I mean, we were really drunk. I was
10:59
11:02
glad we didn't do anything stupid.
11:02
11:04
>> Tell me about it.
11:04
11:06
>> Oh, hi.
11:06
11:07
>> Hi.
11:07
11:08
>> Yeah. This is the guy I was telling you
11:08
11:09
about.
11:09
11:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. And believe me, this suit
11:09
11:11
does not do justice to what's underneath
11:11
11:13
it.
11:13
11:15
>> Okay. But thieves, I can't I'm just sort
11:15
11:19
of in the middle of something.
11:19
11:21
>> Oh, okay. Yeah, that's okay. Have a
11:21
11:23
seat.
11:23
11:24
>> You can't do that.
11:24
11:25
>> Maybe I should go.
11:25
11:26
>> Sit down. We're winning.
11:26
11:30
>> Okay. You know what? Maybe I should go.
11:30
11:32
>> No, no, no. Have a seat. You have a
11:32
11:33
seat.
11:33
11:34
>> Rachel. Rachel, you haven't touched
11:34
11:35
Elon's hair.
11:35
11:37
>> It's the softest hair. Touch it. I'm
11:37
11:39
good, Rachel. Patrick is really rich.
11:39
11:42
Give her some money.
11:42
11:45
>> Oh,
11:45
11:46
>> you know what, Phoebe? This isn't really
11:46
11:47
worth the free massage.
11:48
11:49
>> That's right, Patrick. Bye-bye. No,
11:49
11:51
>> Elena is much more cooperative and he
11:51
11:53
can dance. You dance for Rachel.
11:54
11:56
>> No, no, no. Don't dance for me, please.
11:56
11:58
Don't
11:58
11:59
>> What's the matter with you guys? Yeah.
11:59
12:01
>> Okay, let's talk it out. I
12:01
12:04
>> Am I the only one that this is
12:04
12:06
embarrassing for?
12:06
12:07
>> I'm a little embarrassed. Sh.
12:07
12:11
>> I'll tell you who should be embarrassed.
12:11
12:12
It's you guys. Come on. This is
12:12
12:14
ridiculous. Thank you very much, but I
12:14
12:16
do not need you to get me a date. Then
12:16
12:18
why did she ask us to
12:18
12:19
>> I am still talking. And then you chase
12:19
12:21
away the one guy that I actually liked.
12:21
12:24
I mean, no offense to you guys. Really?
12:24
12:26
I mean, congratulations, son. All the
12:26
12:28
cash
12:28
12:30
and and you know, you really Well, you
12:30
12:32
do have very soft hair, but I would much
12:32
12:34
rather go to the ball all by myself than
12:34
12:37
go through any more of this. Goodbye.
12:37
12:42
Now, do you use some sort of special
12:42
12:44
conditioner on that hair?
12:44
12:46
>> Yes. Papaya extract.
12:46
12:47
>> Thank you. You go ahead. I'll catch up.
12:47
12:50
Okay. Okay.
12:50
12:56
Come on, let's start running. Let's go.
12:56
13:00
[Music]
13:00
13:05
>> You guys, I'm telling you, when she
13:05
13:07
runs, she looks like a cross between
13:07
13:08
Kermit the Frog and the $6 million man.
13:08
13:13
>> Monica had such a crush on him
13:13
13:17
that she used to kiss his poster every
13:17
13:19
night before she went to bed.
13:19
13:21
I used to do that, too.
13:21
13:23
>> Did you also have his album? It's not
13:23
13:24
easy being green.
13:24
13:28
>> Oh,
13:28
13:32
so Phoebe runs weird, huh? Yeah. Yeah.
13:32
13:35
You know what? And and I know she's
13:35
13:36
going to want to run again. I just don't
13:36
13:38
I don't know how to get out of it. I
13:38
13:39
mean, I live with her. Why don't you
13:39
13:41
just be straight with her? Tell her the
13:41
13:42
truth.
13:42
13:44
>> You're right. You're right. I should
13:44
13:46
just tell her the truth.
13:46
13:48
>> Hey.
13:48
13:48
>> Hey.
13:48
13:49
>> Hey, Bab. Monica tripped me. I don't
13:49
13:50
think I can ever run again. Ever.
13:50
13:54
>> Why? Why would you do that? I don't
13:54
13:57
know.
13:57
13:59
>> Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your
13:59
14:01
ankles.
14:01
14:02
>> Ankle. We'll see.
14:02
14:07
[Music]
14:07
14:12
Hi.
14:12
14:13
>> Oh, yeah. Oh, it's me. I saw you grab
14:13
14:16
your running shoes this morning and
14:16
14:17
sneak out. You lied. So you could run by
14:17
14:20
yourself?
14:20
14:20
>> No. No, Phoebe. No. I was No. You know
14:20
14:22
what? I was I was actually just checking
14:22
14:25
to see if I could run and I can.
14:25
14:28
>> Please, Rachel. I am not an idiot.
14:28
14:30
>> No. Wait, Phoei.
14:30
14:37
>> Hey, Phoebe. Can I talk to you for a
14:37
14:39
second?
14:39
14:39
>> Sure. Okay. Um, I
14:40
14:46
Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that
14:46
14:48
I'm sorry, okay? I handled the situation
14:48
14:51
horribly and and I should not have lied
14:51
14:54
to you.
14:54
14:55
>> So, what should you have done?
14:55
14:58
>> Well, I I should have told you the
14:58
14:59
truth.
14:59
15:00
>> Uhhuh. which is
15:00
15:03
well, you know, the reason that I didn't
15:03
15:06
want to go running with you is because
15:06
15:09
um well, you know, the way that you run
15:09
15:11
is just a little
15:11
15:16
>> So, well, it's embarrassing. People were
15:16
15:18
looking at us like we were crazy.
15:18
15:20
>> Why do you care?
15:20
15:21
>> Because they're people.
15:21
15:23
But people that you don't know and will
15:23
15:25
never see again.
15:25
15:26
>> Yes, but still they are people with
15:26
15:29
eyes.
15:29
15:31
Well, I didn't get embarrassed running
15:31
15:33
next to Miss
15:33
15:38
>> But Oh, okay. No, no, I can see why
15:38
15:41
running with me would be embarrassing to
15:41
15:43
you. Yeah. Okay. You're uptight.
15:43
15:45
>> What? I But I am not up.
15:45
15:50
Listen, I am not uptight, man.
15:50
15:56
That's okay, Rachel. I'm not judging
15:56
15:58
you. That's just who you are. me, I'm
15:58
16:00
more freak, you know? I run like I did
16:00
16:02
when I was a kid because it's the only
16:02
16:04
way it's fun, you know? I mean, didn't
16:04
16:06
you ever run so fast you thought your
16:06
16:08
legs were going to fall off? You know,
16:08
16:10
like when you were like running toward
16:10
16:12
the swings or or running away from
16:12
16:14
Satan,
16:14
16:18
>> the neighbor's dog
16:18
16:23
[Music]
16:23
16:38
[Music]
16:38
16:38
[Applause]
16:38
16:40
I'm so sorry. You're right. This feels
16:40
16:42
great.
16:42
16:43
>> See, and you don't care if people are
16:43
16:44
staring. It's just for a second cuz then
16:44
16:46
you're gone.
16:46
16:47
>> God. Hey, it's amazing. I feel so free
16:47
16:50
and so graceful.
16:50
16:56
>> Hey, watch out for the horse.
16:56
17:00
>> We the trivi from Days of Our Lives just
17:00
17:03
walked in here.
17:04
17:05
>> Ra, he's a friend of ours. You are
17:05
17:08
friends with Dr. Drake Raor.
17:08
17:12
>> It's kind of hard to be friends with
17:12
17:13
Drake because of his busy schedule and
17:13
17:15
the fact that he's not real.
17:15
17:19
>> Hey. Hey. Or I could bring my keyboard
17:19
17:21
here sometime.
17:22
17:23
>> He's coming. He's come over. Joey.
17:23
17:24
>> I know. Here. Here.
17:24
17:26
>> Oh,
17:26
17:28
no. This is my friend Rachel. We went to
17:28
17:31
high school together.
17:31
17:33
Hey,
17:33
17:33
>> I
17:33
17:36
I love you on that show.
17:36
17:38
>> I watch you every day. I mean, when you
17:38
17:41
took out your own kidney to save your
17:41
17:43
ex-wife, even though she tried to kill
17:43
17:45
you.
17:45
17:47
>> Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.
17:47
17:50
>> She's not crazy, is she?
17:50
17:53
>> So, uh, how are you doing?
17:53
17:58
[Music]
17:58
18:00
>> We're going to find love. Definitely.
18:00
18:04
Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that.
18:04
18:07
That's what makes it so easy for me to
18:07
18:08
be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler.
18:08
18:12
It'd be nice to have a little guarantee,
18:12
18:14
though.
18:14
18:15
>> What do you mean? Well, you know, some
18:15
18:17
people make deals with a friend. Like,
18:17
18:18
if neither of them are married by the
18:18
18:21
time they're 40, they marry each other.
18:21
18:23
>> You mean a backup?
18:23
18:24
>> Yeah, exactly.
18:24
18:25
>> Yeah. Yeah, I've got that.
18:25
18:28
>> You do?
18:28
18:29
>> Mhm.
18:29
18:30
>> Who? Joey? Joey?
18:30
18:33
>> Yeah. Are you serious?
18:33
18:35
>> Yeah. I locked him in years ago.
18:35
18:39
>> Wait, so if neither of you are married
18:40
18:42
by the time you're 40, you're going to
18:42
18:44
marry Joey?
18:44
18:45
>> Yeah, we shook on it.
18:45
18:47
>> Yeah, but believe me, that is not how he
18:47
18:49
wanted to seal the deal.
18:49
18:52
>> Oh, seriously?
18:52
18:53
>> Oh, yeah. I think his exact words were
18:53
18:59
>> charming.
18:59
19:01
That is just a backup.
19:01
19:03
>> It's like I guess I'm just really sad
19:03
19:05
that I'm leaving. I'm going to miss you
19:05
19:06
so much.
19:06
19:07
>> Well, this doesn't have to be so sad,
19:07
19:10
though. You know, maybe instead of just
19:10
19:12
thinking about how much you're going to
19:12
19:13
miss each other, you should like think
19:14
19:15
about some of the things that you're not
19:15
19:16
going to miss.
19:16
19:19
>> I don't think there's anything.
19:19
19:21
>> Come on. There's got to be something.
19:21
19:24
>> Oh, she's perfect.
19:24
19:30
I have one.
19:30
19:33
>> Great. Okay, you can go first. Uh, well,
19:33
19:35
I guess I'm not going to miss the fact
19:35
19:38
that you're never allowed to move the
19:38
19:39
phone pin.
19:40
19:45
>> Good. That's a good one. Okay, Monica,
19:45
19:47
anything you know, does Rachel move the
19:47
19:49
phone pin?
19:49
19:52
>> Odd sometimes.
19:52
19:54
>> Always, actually.
19:54
19:57
Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't
19:57
19:59
everyone feel better?
19:59
20:01
>> It's not just the phone pin.
20:02
20:05
I never get my messages.
20:05
20:07
>> You get your messages?
20:07
20:09
>> Yeah. Well, I don't think it really
20:09
20:10
counts if you have to read them off the
20:10
20:12
back of your hand after you fall asleep
20:12
20:13
on the couch. So So you missed a message
20:13
20:16
from who? Chandler or your mom?
20:16
20:20
Or Chandler or your mom?
20:20
20:27
Great. It worked. No one's sad.
20:27
20:30
>> What? What? What the? How did How did
20:30
20:32
What the How did What?
20:32
20:35
>> Well, you know, he lost his keys, so he
20:35
20:38
was looking for them
20:38
20:39
>> in your mouth.
20:39
20:43
>> No,
20:43
20:45
downstairs. And we got to talking, you
20:45
20:47
know, for like two hours and I really
20:47
20:48
liked him, so I invited him up here for
20:48
20:50
a cup of coffee.
20:50
20:51
>> You were at the coffee house.
20:51
20:55
Ross, what's the big deal? So, I kissed
20:55
20:57
the guy.
20:58
20:58
>> He is my girlfriend's father. Okay. It's
20:58
21:01
It's It's weird.
21:01
21:02
>> What? You dated my sister.
21:02
21:04
>> But that was different.
21:04
21:06
>> What? Why?
21:06
21:07
>> This is weird for me.
21:07
21:11
>> Ross, look. Look. This is good for you,
21:11
21:14
okay? Let's face it. So far, the guy is
21:14
21:16
not loving you. But I can turn that
21:16
21:18
around. I got the inside track. We can
21:18
21:21
all go out to dinner, you know, and I
21:21
21:23
can talk you up. Plus, the guy is a
21:23
21:26
very, very successful lawyer.
21:26
21:30
>> How is that important?
21:30
21:31
>> Oh, it's important.
21:31
21:34
>> Hello.
21:34
21:35
>> Hello. Is Ross there?
21:35
21:36
>> Uh, no, he's not. Can I take a message?
21:36
21:38
>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross's divorce
21:38
21:40
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
21:40
21:41
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
21:41
21:43
decided to give the marriage a try.
21:43
21:45
>> Ross got married again? No.
21:45
21:52
All right. I'm I'm not English.
21:52
21:56
I'm from Long Island.
21:56
21:59
I was really nervous and the accent just
21:59
22:02
um just came out.
22:02
22:04
I'm sorry.
22:04
22:08
So, if we could just get back to the
22:08
22:09
lecture.
22:10
22:11
Um,
22:11
22:13
were there any questions
22:13
22:17
about paleontology?
22:17
22:22
All right, look, I was just trying to
22:22
22:23
make a good first impression. Obviously,
22:23
22:26
I screwed up, but what you guys think of
22:26
22:29
me is really important because I'm I'm
22:29
22:30
hoping to get a permanent job here. So,
22:30
22:33
if you just give me another chance to
22:33
22:36
make a good impression.
22:36
22:38
>> Russ, are you crazy? I am still your
22:38
22:41
wife? What were you just never going to
22:41
22:43
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
22:43
22:45
you?
22:45
22:46
Oh, I could just kill you.
22:46
22:54
>> Why? Rachel,
22:54
22:55
>> had enough to drink? I'm just helping
22:55
22:57
the kids.
22:57
23:00
>> How is you drinking helping the kids?
23:00
23:03
>> Because the more I drink, the less there
23:03
23:05
is for the kids to drink.
23:05
23:11
Mr. Tribiani,
23:11
23:13
>> your generous contribution brings us a
23:13
23:15
big step closer to building the youth
23:15
23:16
center.
23:16
23:17
>> Just out of curiosity, how how much is
23:18
23:19
that boat worth?
23:19
23:20
>> I think it was valued at 19,000.
23:20
23:23
>> That was pretty close.
23:23
23:28
>> Uh, so bad news. Um, I can't buy the
23:28
23:32
boat. I don't have any money.
23:32
23:34
>> Tell me something, Joey.
23:34
23:39
I just fell right off the couch there.
23:39
23:41
>> Yeah, you did.
23:41
23:42
>> Oh, okay.
23:42
23:44
>> Let me here you go.
23:44
23:44
>> Whoops.
23:44
23:45
>> Let me ask you a question.
23:45
23:46
>> Yeah.
23:46
23:48
>> When was the last time
23:48
23:50
>> someone told you just how beautiful you
23:50
23:52
are?
23:52
23:54
>> Wow.
23:54
23:56
I can't I can't feel my hands.
23:56
23:59
>> Come on. Come here.
23:59
24:05
>> Huh?
24:05
24:05
>> Huh?
24:05
24:23
[Laughter]
24:23
24:28
I will look in the back closet.
24:28
24:29
>> I can save you time, ladies. I'm right
24:30
24:31
here.
24:32
24:34
>> Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a
24:34
24:36
walk? This doesn't concern you.
24:36
24:39
>> We are looking for our Christmas
24:39
24:40
presents for Monica.
24:40
24:42
>> What? That's terrible.
24:42
24:43
>> No, no, we do it every year.
24:43
24:45
>> Oh, well that that makes it not
24:45
24:47
terrible.
24:47
24:49
>> No. Yeah, we never find them. She's
24:49
24:51
always best at us. That wy minkx.
24:51
24:55
Yeah, don't worry. We're just going to
24:55
24:57
search here for an hour and then we're
24:57
24:58
going to go over to Joey's and search.
24:58
24:59
Okay.
24:59
25:00
>> No, not okay. You can't look for
25:00
25:02
Monica's presents.
25:02
25:03
>> Oh, no. We have to.
25:03
25:04
>> No, you don't have to. And you can't
25:04
25:06
because I I live here, too.
25:06
25:09
>> Well, then you should look with us.
25:09
25:13
>> Why,
25:13
25:14
>> Chandler? Aren't you worried about what
25:14
25:15
to get Monica for Christmas?
25:15
25:17
>> No. I have a great idea for a present
25:17
25:19
for her.
25:19
25:19
>> Oh, that's it? A great idea? I guess.
25:19
25:23
>> Chandler, that's not enough. I mean,
25:23
25:25
what if she gets you a great present,
25:25
25:26
two medium presents, and then a bunch of
25:26
25:28
little presents, and you've just gotten
25:28
25:29
her one great present? I mean, that's
25:29
25:31
just going to make her feel bad. Why
25:31
25:32
would you do that to her? Chandler. Why?
25:32
25:34
Why?
25:34
25:37
>> If I helped, we could find him faster.
25:37
25:38
>> That's right.
25:38
25:40
[Music]
25:40
25:43
>> Okay.
25:43
25:45
Call me when you get there. Okay.
25:45
25:47
>> Okay. Really going to miss you.
25:47
25:56
>> Oh, yeah. I have your key.
25:56
25:59
There you go. Thanks. Yeah.
25:59
26:07
Oh god, this is silly. I'm going to see
26:07
26:09
you in a couple of hours.
26:09
26:13
>> Bye. House.
26:13
26:20
>> Bye.
26:20
26:34
[Music]
26:34
26:39
[Music]
26:39
26:47
She really left.
26:47
26:48
>> I know.
26:48
26:52
>> Thank you.
26:52
26:53
>> No problem, Romy.
26:53
27:03
Can I ask you a question?
27:03
27:05
>> Sure.
27:05
27:06
>> What the hell is that dog doing here?
27:06
27:10
>> If she if she wasn't into me, why why
27:10
27:12
would she ask me out again?
27:12
27:13
>> She asked asked you out again?
27:14
27:15
>> Yeah. Mhm.
27:15
27:17
>> Tomorrow night,
27:17
27:18
>> Valentine's Day, the most romantic day
27:18
27:21
of the year. Who knows what could
27:21
27:24
happen? I might not be shutting my
27:24
27:26
drapes to show her my slides, if you
27:26
27:28
know what I mean.
27:28
27:28
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I got it.
27:28
27:29
I got it. I got it. I can't. I can't. I
27:29
27:31
can't. I can't. I'm not good with the
27:31
27:32
you and my sister thing. Okay. I just
27:32
27:33
can't. It's just too weird. All right. I
27:33
27:36
imagine the two of you together. I just
27:36
27:37
freak out. It freaks me out and I can't
27:37
27:39
do it. I can't do it.
27:39
27:43
>> It's okay.
27:43
27:46
Hey, it's too weird for you. I won't see
27:46
27:49
her again.
27:49
27:49
>> Thank you. I Yeah.
27:49
27:50
>> I mean, after tomorrow night.
27:50
27:52
>> No. No. No. No. No. Please. I can't. I
27:52
27:54
can't do it again.
27:54
27:55
>> Okay. Oh, hey. Okay. Okay.
27:55
27:58
>> Okay. I'll I'll tell her tonight. I
27:58
28:01
can't see her anymore.
28:01
28:06
>> You want me to call her right now?
28:06
28:08
>> Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I mean,
28:08
28:11
come on. That's That's crazy, man.
28:11
28:13
That's crazy.
28:13
28:16
>> So, what's what's going on with you?
28:16
28:17
What is going on with you?
28:17
28:19
Well, um Oh, I may be teaching another
28:19
28:22
class this semester.
28:22
28:23
>> Yeah, do it now. Call her right now.
28:23
28:25
>> Now, you two were involved in a serious
28:25
28:27
relationship that really creates a
28:27
28:29
problem.
28:29
28:29
>> Ros, your honor, rest assured that
28:29
28:31
relationship ended 2 years ago. And can
28:31
28:33
you please strike consummated like
28:33
28:35
bunnies from the record?
28:35
28:37
>> Is there anything in this record that is
28:37
28:39
actually true?
28:39
28:40
>> Uh well, yes. We uh we got married in
28:40
28:43
Vegas and uh and the names, I think.
28:43
28:47
Well, based on what I've heard, you two
28:47
28:49
certainly don't qualify for an anulment.
28:49
28:52
>> If you don't want to be together, you'll
28:52
28:53
have to file for divorce.
28:53
28:55
>> That's great. You happy now? Look what
28:55
28:57
you did with your funny funny form.
28:57
29:00
>> What? Me? What about you and your
29:00
29:02
consummated like bunnies nonsense?
29:02
29:05
Now,
29:05
29:05
>> what are you typing that for? She
29:05
29:07
already said we don't get the anulment.
29:08
29:10
Don't type that. What? Stop typing. Hey,
29:10
29:15
stop typing.
29:15
29:17
Stop typing. Stop typing.
29:17
29:20
>> Okay. Do you see? Do you see what you
29:20
29:21
are keeping me married to?
29:22
29:24
>> You need to get out of my chambers.
29:24
29:26
>> All right. Look, lady, here is the deal.
29:26
29:28
I came here for an anolment, and I am
29:28
29:30
not leaving here until I get one.
29:30
29:32
>> Would you like to spend the night in
29:32
29:33
jail?
29:33
29:33
>> Okay. Thank you for your time.
29:33
29:37
>> Oh my god. They let you keep that stuff?
29:37
29:40
>> Sure. As long as they don't find out,
29:40
29:42
you can keep whatever you want.
29:42
29:44
And I want you to have it.
29:44
29:46
>> No. No.
29:46
29:47
>> Yes. And every time you look at it,
29:47
29:50
>> I want you to remember that you are a
29:50
29:52
good person. Okay. Now, you had the
29:52
29:55
chance to cheat and with me,
29:55
30:00
but you didn't. And that's what this
30:00
30:02
ring stands for.
30:02
30:05
>> But I thought that ring stood for
30:05
30:06
Capri's undying love for her brother.
30:06
30:08
>> Look, you want the ring or not?
30:08
30:09
>> Yeah.
30:09
30:17
Oh
30:17
30:19
my god, Barry.
30:19
30:21
>> You said you were going to be away all
30:21
30:22
weekend.
30:22
30:24
>> That's right. I'm sorry. I I am early.
30:24
30:28
Finish, please.
30:28
30:33
[Music]
30:33
Lyrics & Translation
[English]
Now look, there's only one problem,
...
though. There's only room for one. So, I
...
guess one of you will have to stay at
...
Joey's.
...
>> Well, since the fire was kind of my
...
fault, I guess you should get to stay
...
here.
...
>> Hey, hey, hey. Now, this was no one's
...
fault, Feebs. Okay. It was an accident.
...
>> Well, no, it was my fault. So, you
...
should get the nice room.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> So, Ra, you're the first guest at Hotel
...
Monica.
...
>> Yeah. Um, you just have to tell me how
...
you like your eggs in the morning. And I
...
thought I would bring them to you, you
...
know, in bed. What? You've been through
...
so much.
...
>> I have.
...
>> This right here is where I keep the
...
pizza.
...
>> And uh that's where the napkin is.
...
>> What's that smell?
...
>> I know. I
...
[Applause]
...
>> So, did you sleep well last night?
...
>> I did. Yeah,
...
>> I did. Monica was so sweet. She left a
...
little mint on my pillow.
...
>> You know what Joey left on my pillow?
...
What?
...
>> Gum.
...
>> Well, we determined the cause of the
...
fire.
...
>> Yeah, I know. I know. It was my candle.
...
My candle.
...
>> No, there was an appliance left on in
...
the bathroom. It looks like a curling
...
iron.
...
>> I don't use a curling iron.
...
>> Well, someone does.
...
>> Don't look at me. My hair's straight.
...
Straight. Straight. Straight.
...
>> Could have been a hair straightener.
...
>> Oh,
...
this is where I keep the pizza.
...
Hey. Hey, where'd the napkin go?
...
[Music]
...
[Applause]
...
>> Oh my god. Rachel Green.
...
>> Rob Tilman.
...
>> No, no, it's it's me, Ross.
...
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.
...
>> No, no, no. Ross Geller.
...
>> Oh, of course. Monica's brother.
...
>> Yeah, right.
...
>> Wow. How are you?
...
>> Good. Good. I'm I'm married.
...
>> Oh, me too.
...
>> Oh, isn't it the best?
...
>> Oh, it's the best.
...
>> So, um, how's Monica?
...
>> Oh, really? Really great. Yeah,
...
actually, she's right down the street.
...
Um, do you you know what? You should
...
stop by and say hi.
...
>> Oh, I would love to.
...
>> Yeah. Oh. Oh, she'd be so excited.
...
>> Oh. Oh, come on. Oh, wait. Don't you
...
have to pay for your busty ladies?
...
No, no, no. That's a It's okay. Some
...
Some kid asked me to pick it up for him,
...
but I
...
>> Oh,
...
>> guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting
...
a divorce.
...
>> Oh my god.
...
>> Wow.
...
>> What is the matter with you?
...
>> No. Barry and Mindy.
...
>> Oh, sorry. I hear divorce. I immediately
...
go to Ross.
...
>> Who? Who's Barry and Mindy?
...
>> Barry was the guy that I almost married.
...
And Mindy was my best friend.
...
>> Oh. Oh, wasn't he cheating on you with
...
her?
...
>> Yeah, but that just means that he was
...
falling asleep on top of her instead of
...
me.
...
>> God, can you imagine if I'd actually
...
married him? I mean, how different would
...
my life be?
...
>> I know what you mean. I've always
...
wondered how different my life would be
...
if if I'd never gotten divorced.
...
>> Which time?
...
>> The first time.
...
>> Well, seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't
...
realized she was a lesbian.
...
>> I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.
...
I bet I'd still be doing my karate.
...
Towards the end of our marriage, I was
...
doing a lot of karate as a way of
...
releasing the tension from, you know,
...
not doing anything else physical.
...
>> Maybe the problem was you were
...
pronouncing it karate.
...
>> She's my best friend.
...
>> Well, Joey's my best friend.
...
>> I'm not your best friend.
...
>> You just said,
...
>> "Of course you're my best friend. Would
...
you please tell Rachel, though?
...
>> All right. All right. At least I'm
...
prepared.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Oh, yes.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey. Hey.
...
>> These aren't for you. Are you upset?
...
>> I am now.
...
>> Hey, room me.
...
>> Okay. Bye.
...
>> Ra,
...
there's something um important I have to
...
tell you. Are you pregnant?
...
>> No, but I'm throwing the shirt away.
...
>> I think there was a little
...
misunderstanding before
...
>> um when I said that uh that Chandler and
...
I wanted to um live together,
...
we meant alone together.
...
Oh my god. Oh, that's funny. I can't
...
believe I did that.
...
>> Oh no, sweetie. No. You know what? This
...
is my fault. I I wasn't clear. I I'm
...
really sorry.
...
>> And and listen, you take as much time as
...
you need to move out, okay? There's
...
absolutely no rush.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey. What have you guys been up to?
...
>> Oh, we went to a self-defense class
...
today.
...
>> Wow.
...
>> Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch all
...
morning really takes it out of you.
...
>> Takes it out of you.
...
>> No. Now we can kick anybody's ass
...
>> after one class. I don't think so.
...
>> What? You want to see me self-defend
...
myself? Go over there and pretend you're
...
a sexual predator. Go on. I dare you.
...
>> Of course you could defend yourself from
...
an attack you know is coming. That's not
...
enough. Look, I studied karate for a
...
long time.
...
And there's a concept you should really
...
be familiar with. It's what the Japanese
...
call unagi.
...
>> Isn't that a kind of sushi?
...
>> No, it's a concept.
...
>> Yeah, it is. It is. It's freshwater
...
heel.
...
>> All right, maybe it means that, too.
...
>> Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll
...
right now.
...
>> You know, fine. Get attacked. I don't
...
even care.
...
>> Come on, Ross. We're sorry. Please tell
...
us what it is.
...
Unagi is a state of total awareness.
...
Okay. Only by achieving true unagi can
...
you be prepared for any danger that may
...
befall you.
...
>> You mean in case someone's trying to
...
steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your
...
kettle of fish?
...
>> All I'm saying is it's one thing being
...
prepared for an attack against like each
...
other. Whole another story being
...
prepared for an attack. I don't like
...
surprise.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> All right. You knew that was coming. But
...
that doesn't mean you have unagi.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Oh, you know what? If we made
...
reservations, we could have unagi in
...
about a half hour.
...
[Music]
...
>> It was good.
...
>> Oh, yeah. It's the last time.
...
Danger.
...
>> What the hell was that?
...
>> A lesson in the importance of unagi.
...
>> Oh, you're a freak.
...
>> Perhaps.
...
Now, I'm curious. At what point during
...
those girish screams would you have
...
begun to kick my ass?
...
All right. So, we weren't prepared.
...
>> I'm sorry I had to take such drastic
...
measures to make my point, but I look, I
...
just want you guys to be safe.
...
>> Danger.
...
Uhhuh.
...
Unagi.
...
[Music]
...
[Applause]
...
danger.
...
[Laughter]
...
[Applause]
...
Ah,
...
salmon skin roll
...
[Music]
...
sayac. Yeah, Alex Tbec. Oh, of course.
...
Chuck Woolery. Definitely, Phoebe. You
...
will not find a single game show host
...
whose ass I cannot kick.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> No.
...
>> Say it. Say we are unagi.
...
>> It's not something you are. It's
...
something you have.
...
>> Say it.
...
>> You know what? I could easily get out of
...
this, but there's a chance you could get
...
very, very hurt.
...
[Music]
...
Uh-huh.
...
Nowhere to run.
...
>> I don't like sitting up here. I'm I'm
...
going to go over. Wait till they got
...
here first.
...
[Laughter]
...
Why is Ross doing that?
...
>> Danger.
...
>> Oh my god. Why is he jumping on those
...
women?
...
>> We should help them.
...
I I don't think they need any help.
...
Um.
...
Um.
...
Why have we been together?
...
>> I don't know.
...
>> Do Do you have Do you have any clothes
...
on?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> Really?
...
>> No.
...
>> But we we didn't have
...
sex. Uh, did we?
...
I mean, I don't remember much about last
...
night. It was such a blur.
...
>> Oh, I remember laughing.
...
>> I laughed a lot.
...
>> Then we didn't have sex.
...
>> Oh.
...
Oh, I mean, we were really drunk. I was
...
glad we didn't do anything stupid.
...
>> Tell me about it.
...
>> Oh, hi.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Yeah. This is the guy I was telling you
...
about.
...
>> Yeah. Yeah. And believe me, this suit
...
does not do justice to what's underneath
...
it.
...
>> Okay. But thieves, I can't I'm just sort
...
of in the middle of something.
...
>> Oh, okay. Yeah, that's okay. Have a
...
seat.
...
>> You can't do that.
...
>> Maybe I should go.
...
>> Sit down. We're winning.
...
>> Okay. You know what? Maybe I should go.
...
>> No, no, no. Have a seat. You have a
...
seat.
...
>> Rachel. Rachel, you haven't touched
...
Elon's hair.
...
>> It's the softest hair. Touch it. I'm
...
good, Rachel. Patrick is really rich.
...
Give her some money.
...
>> Oh,
...
>> you know what, Phoebe? This isn't really
...
worth the free massage.
...
>> That's right, Patrick. Bye-bye. No,
...
>> Elena is much more cooperative and he
...
can dance. You dance for Rachel.
...
>> No, no, no. Don't dance for me, please.
...
Don't
...
>> What's the matter with you guys? Yeah.
...
>> Okay, let's talk it out. I
...
>> Am I the only one that this is
...
embarrassing for?
...
>> I'm a little embarrassed. Sh.
...
>> I'll tell you who should be embarrassed.
...
It's you guys. Come on. This is
...
ridiculous. Thank you very much, but I
...
do not need you to get me a date. Then
...
why did she ask us to
...
>> I am still talking. And then you chase
...
away the one guy that I actually liked.
...
I mean, no offense to you guys. Really?
...
I mean, congratulations, son. All the
...
cash
...
and and you know, you really Well, you
...
do have very soft hair, but I would much
...
rather go to the ball all by myself than
...
go through any more of this. Goodbye.
...
Now, do you use some sort of special
...
conditioner on that hair?
...
>> Yes. Papaya extract.
...
>> Thank you. You go ahead. I'll catch up.
...
Okay. Okay.
...
Come on, let's start running. Let's go.
...
[Music]
...
>> You guys, I'm telling you, when she
...
runs, she looks like a cross between
...
Kermit the Frog and the $6 million man.
...
>> Monica had such a crush on him
...
that she used to kiss his poster every
...
night before she went to bed.
...
I used to do that, too.
...
>> Did you also have his album? It's not
...
easy being green.
...
>> Oh,
...
so Phoebe runs weird, huh? Yeah. Yeah.
...
You know what? And and I know she's
...
going to want to run again. I just don't
...
I don't know how to get out of it. I
...
mean, I live with her. Why don't you
...
just be straight with her? Tell her the
...
truth.
...
>> You're right. You're right. I should
...
just tell her the truth.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey, Bab. Monica tripped me. I don't
...
think I can ever run again. Ever.
...
>> Why? Why would you do that? I don't
...
know.
...
>> Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your
...
ankles.
...
>> Ankle. We'll see.
...
[Music]
...
Hi.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Oh, it's me. I saw you grab
...
your running shoes this morning and
...
sneak out. You lied. So you could run by
...
yourself?
...
>> No. No, Phoebe. No. I was No. You know
...
what? I was I was actually just checking
...
to see if I could run and I can.
...
>> Please, Rachel. I am not an idiot.
...
>> No. Wait, Phoei.
...
>> Hey, Phoebe. Can I talk to you for a
...
second?
...
>> Sure. Okay. Um, I
...
Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that
...
I'm sorry, okay? I handled the situation
...
horribly and and I should not have lied
...
to you.
...
>> So, what should you have done?
...
>> Well, I I should have told you the
...
truth.
...
>> Uhhuh. which is
...
well, you know, the reason that I didn't
...
want to go running with you is because
...
um well, you know, the way that you run
...
is just a little
...
>> So, well, it's embarrassing. People were
...
looking at us like we were crazy.
...
>> Why do you care?
...
>> Because they're people.
...
But people that you don't know and will
...
never see again.
...
>> Yes, but still they are people with
...
eyes.
...
Well, I didn't get embarrassed running
...
next to Miss
...
>> But Oh, okay. No, no, I can see why
...
running with me would be embarrassing to
...
you. Yeah. Okay. You're uptight.
...
>> What? I But I am not up.
...
Listen, I am not uptight, man.
...
That's okay, Rachel. I'm not judging
...
you. That's just who you are. me, I'm
...
more freak, you know? I run like I did
...
when I was a kid because it's the only
...
way it's fun, you know? I mean, didn't
...
you ever run so fast you thought your
...
legs were going to fall off? You know,
...
like when you were like running toward
...
the swings or or running away from
...
Satan,
...
>> the neighbor's dog
...
[Music]
...
[Music]
...
[Applause]
...
I'm so sorry. You're right. This feels
...
great.
...
>> See, and you don't care if people are
...
staring. It's just for a second cuz then
...
you're gone.
...
>> God. Hey, it's amazing. I feel so free
...
and so graceful.
...
>> Hey, watch out for the horse.
...
>> We the trivi from Days of Our Lives just
...
walked in here.
...
>> Ra, he's a friend of ours. You are
...
friends with Dr. Drake Raor.
...
>> It's kind of hard to be friends with
...
Drake because of his busy schedule and
...
the fact that he's not real.
...
>> Hey. Hey. Or I could bring my keyboard
...
here sometime.
...
>> He's coming. He's come over. Joey.
...
>> I know. Here. Here.
...
>> Oh,
...
no. This is my friend Rachel. We went to
...
high school together.
...
Hey,
...
>> I
...
I love you on that show.
...
>> I watch you every day. I mean, when you
...
took out your own kidney to save your
...
ex-wife, even though she tried to kill
...
you.
...
>> Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.
...
>> She's not crazy, is she?
...
>> So, uh, how are you doing?
...
[Music]
...
>> We're going to find love. Definitely.
...
Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that.
...
That's what makes it so easy for me to
...
be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler.
...
It'd be nice to have a little guarantee,
...
though.
...
>> What do you mean? Well, you know, some
...
people make deals with a friend. Like,
...
if neither of them are married by the
...
time they're 40, they marry each other.
...
>> You mean a backup?
...
>> Yeah, exactly.
...
>> Yeah. Yeah, I've got that.
...
>> You do?
...
>> Mhm.
...
>> Who? Joey? Joey?
...
>> Yeah. Are you serious?
...
>> Yeah. I locked him in years ago.
...
>> Wait, so if neither of you are married
...
by the time you're 40, you're going to
...
marry Joey?
...
>> Yeah, we shook on it.
...
>> Yeah, but believe me, that is not how he
...
wanted to seal the deal.
...
>> Oh, seriously?
...
>> Oh, yeah. I think his exact words were
...
>> charming.
...
That is just a backup.
...
>> It's like I guess I'm just really sad
...
that I'm leaving. I'm going to miss you
...
so much.
...
>> Well, this doesn't have to be so sad,
...
though. You know, maybe instead of just
...
thinking about how much you're going to
...
miss each other, you should like think
...
about some of the things that you're not
...
going to miss.
...
>> I don't think there's anything.
...
>> Come on. There's got to be something.
...
>> Oh, she's perfect.
...
I have one.
...
>> Great. Okay, you can go first. Uh, well,
...
I guess I'm not going to miss the fact
...
that you're never allowed to move the
...
phone pin.
...
>> Good. That's a good one. Okay, Monica,
...
anything you know, does Rachel move the
...
phone pin?
...
>> Odd sometimes.
...
>> Always, actually.
...
Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't
...
everyone feel better?
...
>> It's not just the phone pin.
...
I never get my messages.
...
>> You get your messages?
...
>> Yeah. Well, I don't think it really
...
counts if you have to read them off the
...
back of your hand after you fall asleep
...
on the couch. So So you missed a message
...
from who? Chandler or your mom?
...
Or Chandler or your mom?
...
Great. It worked. No one's sad.
...
>> What? What? What the? How did How did
...
What the How did What?
...
>> Well, you know, he lost his keys, so he
...
was looking for them
...
>> in your mouth.
...
>> No,
...
downstairs. And we got to talking, you
...
know, for like two hours and I really
...
liked him, so I invited him up here for
...
a cup of coffee.
...
>> You were at the coffee house.
...
Ross, what's the big deal? So, I kissed
...
the guy.
...
>> He is my girlfriend's father. Okay. It's
...
It's It's weird.
...
>> What? You dated my sister.
...
>> But that was different.
...
>> What? Why?
...
>> This is weird for me.
...
>> Ross, look. Look. This is good for you,
...
okay? Let's face it. So far, the guy is
...
not loving you. But I can turn that
...
around. I got the inside track. We can
...
all go out to dinner, you know, and I
...
can talk you up. Plus, the guy is a
...
very, very successful lawyer.
...
>> How is that important?
...
>> Oh, it's important.
...
>> Hello.
...
>> Hello. Is Ross there?
...
>> Uh, no, he's not. Can I take a message?
...
>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross's divorce
...
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
...
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
...
decided to give the marriage a try.
...
>> Ross got married again? No.
...
All right. I'm I'm not English.
...
I'm from Long Island.
...
I was really nervous and the accent just
...
um just came out.
...
I'm sorry.
...
So, if we could just get back to the
...
lecture.
...
Um,
...
were there any questions
...
about paleontology?
...
All right, look, I was just trying to
...
make a good first impression. Obviously,
...
I screwed up, but what you guys think of
...
me is really important because I'm I'm
...
hoping to get a permanent job here. So,
...
if you just give me another chance to
...
make a good impression.
...
>> Russ, are you crazy? I am still your
...
wife? What were you just never going to
...
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
...
you?
...
Oh, I could just kill you.
...
>> Why? Rachel,
...
>> had enough to drink? I'm just helping
...
the kids.
...
>> How is you drinking helping the kids?
...
>> Because the more I drink, the less there
...
is for the kids to drink.
...
Mr. Tribiani,
...
>> your generous contribution brings us a
...
big step closer to building the youth
...
center.
...
>> Just out of curiosity, how how much is
...
that boat worth?
...
>> I think it was valued at 19,000.
...
>> That was pretty close.
...
>> Uh, so bad news. Um, I can't buy the
...
boat. I don't have any money.
...
>> Tell me something, Joey.
...
I just fell right off the couch there.
...
>> Yeah, you did.
...
>> Oh, okay.
...
>> Let me here you go.
...
>> Whoops.
...
>> Let me ask you a question.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> When was the last time
...
>> someone told you just how beautiful you
...
are?
...
>> Wow.
...
I can't I can't feel my hands.
...
>> Come on. Come here.
...
>> Huh?
...
>> Huh?
...
[Laughter]
...
I will look in the back closet.
...
>> I can save you time, ladies. I'm right
...
here.
...
>> Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a
...
walk? This doesn't concern you.
...
>> We are looking for our Christmas
...
presents for Monica.
...
>> What? That's terrible.
...
>> No, no, we do it every year.
...
>> Oh, well that that makes it not
...
terrible.
...
>> No. Yeah, we never find them. She's
...
always best at us. That wy minkx.
...
Yeah, don't worry. We're just going to
...
search here for an hour and then we're
...
going to go over to Joey's and search.
...
Okay.
...
>> No, not okay. You can't look for
...
Monica's presents.
...
>> Oh, no. We have to.
...
>> No, you don't have to. And you can't
...
because I I live here, too.
...
>> Well, then you should look with us.
...
>> Why,
...
>> Chandler? Aren't you worried about what
...
to get Monica for Christmas?
...
>> No. I have a great idea for a present
...
for her.
...
>> Oh, that's it? A great idea? I guess.
...
>> Chandler, that's not enough. I mean,
...
what if she gets you a great present,
...
two medium presents, and then a bunch of
...
little presents, and you've just gotten
...
her one great present? I mean, that's
...
just going to make her feel bad. Why
...
would you do that to her? Chandler. Why?
...
Why?
...
>> If I helped, we could find him faster.
...
>> That's right.
...
[Music]
...
>> Okay.
...
Call me when you get there. Okay.
...
>> Okay. Really going to miss you.
...
>> Oh, yeah. I have your key.
...
There you go. Thanks. Yeah.
...
Oh god, this is silly. I'm going to see
...
you in a couple of hours.
...
>> Bye. House.
...
>> Bye.
...
[Music]
...
[Music]
...
She really left.
...
>> I know.
...
>> Thank you.
...
>> No problem, Romy.
...
Can I ask you a question?
...
>> Sure.
...
>> What the hell is that dog doing here?
...
>> If she if she wasn't into me, why why
...
would she ask me out again?
...
>> She asked asked you out again?
...
>> Yeah. Mhm.
...
>> Tomorrow night,
...
>> Valentine's Day, the most romantic day
...
of the year. Who knows what could
...
happen? I might not be shutting my
...
drapes to show her my slides, if you
...
know what I mean.
...
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I got it.
...
I got it. I got it. I can't. I can't. I
...
can't. I can't. I'm not good with the
...
you and my sister thing. Okay. I just
...
can't. It's just too weird. All right. I
...
imagine the two of you together. I just
...
freak out. It freaks me out and I can't
...
do it. I can't do it.
...
>> It's okay.
...
Hey, it's too weird for you. I won't see
...
her again.
...
>> Thank you. I Yeah.
...
>> I mean, after tomorrow night.
...
>> No. No. No. No. No. Please. I can't. I
...
can't do it again.
...
>> Okay. Oh, hey. Okay. Okay.
...
>> Okay. I'll I'll tell her tonight. I
...
can't see her anymore.
...
>> You want me to call her right now?
...
>> Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, I mean,
...
come on. That's That's crazy, man.
...
That's crazy.
...
>> So, what's what's going on with you?
...
What is going on with you?
...
Well, um Oh, I may be teaching another
...
class this semester.
...
>> Yeah, do it now. Call her right now.
...
>> Now, you two were involved in a serious
...
relationship that really creates a
...
problem.
...
>> Ros, your honor, rest assured that
...
relationship ended 2 years ago. And can
...
you please strike consummated like
...
bunnies from the record?
...
>> Is there anything in this record that is
...
actually true?
...
>> Uh well, yes. We uh we got married in
...
Vegas and uh and the names, I think.
...
Well, based on what I've heard, you two
...
certainly don't qualify for an anulment.
...
>> If you don't want to be together, you'll
...
have to file for divorce.
...
>> That's great. You happy now? Look what
...
you did with your funny funny form.
...
>> What? Me? What about you and your
...
consummated like bunnies nonsense?
...
Now,
...
>> what are you typing that for? She
...
already said we don't get the anulment.
...
Don't type that. What? Stop typing. Hey,
...
stop typing.
...
Stop typing. Stop typing.
...
>> Okay. Do you see? Do you see what you
...
are keeping me married to?
...
>> You need to get out of my chambers.
...
>> All right. Look, lady, here is the deal.
...
I came here for an anolment, and I am
...
not leaving here until I get one.
...
>> Would you like to spend the night in
...
jail?
...
>> Okay. Thank you for your time.
...
>> Oh my god. They let you keep that stuff?
...
>> Sure. As long as they don't find out,
...
you can keep whatever you want.
...
And I want you to have it.
...
>> No. No.
...
>> Yes. And every time you look at it,
...
>> I want you to remember that you are a
...
good person. Okay. Now, you had the
...
chance to cheat and with me,
...
but you didn't. And that's what this
...
ring stands for.
...
>> But I thought that ring stood for
...
Capri's undying love for her brother.
...
>> Look, you want the ring or not?
...
>> Yeah.
...
Oh
...
my god, Barry.
...
>> You said you were going to be away all
...
weekend.
...
>> That's right. I'm sorry. I I am early.
...
Finish, please.
...
[Music]
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
unagi /ʊˈnɑːɡi/ C1 |
|
|
karate /kəˈrɑːti/ B1 |
|
|
divorce /dɪˈvɔːrs/ B1 |
|
|
candle /ˈkændəl/ A2 |
|
|
appliance /əˈplaɪəns/ B2 |
|
|
napkin /ˈnæpkɪn/ A2 |
|
|
guest /ɡɛst/ A2 |
|
|
fire /faɪər/ A1 |
|
|
mistake /mɪˈsteɪk/ B1 |
|
|
prepared /prɪˈpɛrd/ B2 |
|
|
danger /ˈdeɪn.dʒɚ/ A2 |
|
|
aware /əˈwɛr/ B2 |
|
|
accident /ˈæk.sɪ.dənt/ B1 |
|
|
straight /streɪt/ A2 |
|
|
curling /ˈkɜːrlɪŋ/ B1 |
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pillow /ˈpɪl.oʊ/ A1 |
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mint /mɪnt/ A2 |
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married /ˈmær.id/ A2 |
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“unagi, karate, divorce” – got them all figured out?
⚡ Dive into vocabulary challenges in the app and lock in your knowledge right after jamming to ""
Key Grammar Structures
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I guess one of you **will have to** stay at Joey's.
➔ Future simple with modal of obligation
➔ The phrase **will have to** expresses a future obligation: *you will have to* do something later.
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Well, since the fire was kind of my fault, I guess you **should** get to stay here.
➔ Modal verb for suggestion (should)
➔ The modal **should** is used to give a gentle recommendation: *you should* do something.
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This right here **is** where I keep the pizza.
➔ Present simple of 'to be' with demonstrative pronoun
➔ The verb **is** links the subject *this right here* to the location *where I keep the pizza*.
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It **was** my candle. My candle.
➔ Past simple of 'to be' for identification
➔ The past **was** states a fact that, in the past, *the candle* belonged to the speaker.
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It **could have been** a hair straightener.
➔ Modal perfect (could have + past participle) for speculation about the past
➔ The structure **could have been** expresses a possible but unconfirmed explanation in the past.
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If neither of them **are** married by the time they're 40, they **marry** each other.
➔ First conditional (if + present simple, ... will + base verb)
➔ **are** is the present simple of *be* used in the *if‑clause*; **marry** is the base form after *will* in the main clause.
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It **was valued** at 19,000.
➔ Passive voice in the past simple
➔ **was valued** is the past simple passive of *value*, indicating that someone/something assigned a value to the object.
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I **should have told** you the truth.
➔ Modal perfect (should have + past participle) for regret
➔ **should have told** combines the modal *should* with the perfect infinitive *have told* to indicate something that was the right thing to do but wasn’t done.
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We **are going to** find love.
➔ 'Going to' future for intention
➔ **are going to** + verb expresses a planned or intended future action: *we are going to find*.
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If you **don’t want** to be together, you **will have to** file for divorce.
➔ First conditional with modal of obligation in the result clause
➔ **don’t want** is the negative present simple in the *if‑clause*; **will have to** expresses the obligatory future action in the main clause.
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