– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

oh God

[Applause]

okay what the hell are you doing you

scared the crap out of

me was that the case yeah yeah I got a

lemon

Smo come on she'll be here any minute

hope it's

okay happy birthday

peeh well maybe we can make a a bee out

of one of those Roses yeah we'll just

use our special cake

tools how do we have hey what's going

[Applause]

on this is so great in what John Houston

film would you hear this line badges we

don't need no stinking badges Treasure

of s correct there's a possible

backwards bonus Madre Sierra the of

treasure yes I'd like to go up the

ladder of chance to the golden mud hut

please Wise Choice how many rungs

six that noise can only mean one thing H

monkey

monkey I'd like a wicked Wango card okay

it's an audio question name this

television theme

song oh my God okay I know this give me

give me a second to time Turtle shut up

I dream of Dreams yes yes you're back in

the lead uh I'd like to spin the

wheel come

on super Speedy speed round is there a

Hopping bonus of

[Laughter]

course who invented bifocals Ben

Franklin correct which monarch has ruled

Great Britain the longest Queen Victoria

correct again but you forgot to switch

legs between questions so no hopping

bonus oh every time now over to Chandler

I'd like a Google card are you sure yes

no

Google oh my God congratulations Ross

because Chandler you've been bamboozled

no this is the best game ever you just

saw Donald Trump at your convention yeah

so I'm waiting for an

elevator hey R can I wear your eyelash

curler I think I lost mine

[Applause]

yeah Joey can I talk to you for a second

[Music]

yes

yes you and and

you yes but you cannot tell anyone no

one knows how

when it happened in London in

London the reason we didn't tell anyone

was CU we didn't want to make a big deal

out of it but it is a big

deal I have to tell someone

please please we just don't want to deal

with telling everyone okay just promise

you won't

tell all

right man this is

unbelievable I mean it's great

but I know it's

great oh I don't want to see that

everybody has ordered I would like to

start the celebration and make a toast

to

Phoebe she dropped your sock a

what no Emma dropped her sock Mom's here

I wanted to have lunch with her today

she told me she was out of

town she still has not noticed that the

baby sock is on the ground it's a good

toast will you please get her attention

oh Mommy

oh for God's sake Judy pick up the sock

pick up the sock pick up

theck I'm sorry was that rude so come on

explain yourself Geller first you get my

Rachel pregnant you got Rachel pregnant

who did you did

yes yes yes I did but but it was it was

just a one night thing meant nothing oh

really that's what my daughter means to

you nothing no no sir um she means a lot

to me I mean I I care I I love Rachel

what oh but not that way I mean I mean

I'm not in love with her I love her like

like a friend oh really that's how you

treat a friend you get her in trouble

and then you refuse to marry her hey I

offered to marry her but I didn't want

to well why not so you can spend your

time with this I'm sorry Dr

Green Mona Mona Dr

Green how could you have kept all of

this from me I I was going to tell you

but but what you figured you get what

you wanted then you dump her like you

did Rachel hey I did not dump Rachel nor

are we still

together oh um can

I why don't we just let the machine get

that hey Ross it's Joey there's a a

hooker over here and we thought maybe

you know something about

it no no no no no I I need to lie

[Music]

down Kathy Kathy hi Kathy Kathy

[Music]

C touch

ity

[Music]

cyy

Kathy hey janler what are you doing

here I just want to say

hey

Hey

Okay Ross you got to stop okay you can't

just stare through the peephole for 3

hours you're going to get pee

by I knew it I knew it I always knew she

liked him you know she'd say no but here

we are right we just broke up first

thing she does you didn't just break up

yeah you'd been like 3 weeks you slept

with somebody 3 hours after you thought

you broke up I mean bullets have left

guns

slower here they come here they oh if

she kisses him good night I'm going to

kill myself I swear I can't I can't

watch come on date over date over oh oh

here we go she's going in okay she's

going in he's going

in keep going in the door's closed I I

can't see anything but the door closed

and the inventor of the door rests

happily in his

grave okay I have to do something I mean

I have to I have to stop it stop what I

don't know but the I I have a feeling

that my being there will do it I'll go

over and I will borrow something juice I

need juice

no it must be stuck I am your friend and

I am not going to let you do this you

are surprised inly

strong I need juice people need juice

look man people need juice s to me juice

I

[Applause]

need she's moving on okay if it's not

this guy it's going to be somebody else

and unless you're thinking about

subletting my peepole you are going to

have to get used to the fact that the

relationship is over okay man it's over

yeah

okay okay it's just I miss her so

much I

know but listen I uh saw down at the

hardware store they got those designer

tiles on sale if you ever want to redo

your bathroom floor what's wrong with my

bathroom floor nothing it's just old and

dingy that's

all I highly doubt that oh yeah if you

uh move your hamper you can see the

color the how I used to be

yeah I can't live like this what are we

going to do what are we going to do

relax relax here hold this this old

stuff comes right up I'll show

you little more than I want to

see look at that every inch of this is

glued down it take forever to pry this

up you should uh you should just leave

it I can't leave it you couched a hole

in my dingy

floor there you go a yeah that's nice

you know we can put it back there after

the surgeons remove it from your colon

oh my God J just left though yeah but

maybe it's not what we think maybe it's

tell Monica I'm sorry I drank the last

of the milk or maybe he he was writing

to tell her that that he's changed his

name you know tell Monica I'm

sorry I think it means he freaked out

and left don't be so

negative God isn't it possible that

sorry is sitting in there right

now okay pH I I think Ross is right I

what are we going to do look okay I'm

just going to I'm going to have to go

find him and bring him back okay you you

make sure Monica does not find out okay

okay but if you don't find him and bring

him back I am going to hunt you down and

kick your

ass I will I will find him I mean my mom

never thought this would work

out she was all once a cheater always a

cheater mhm oh I just wish we hadn't

lost those four months

but if time was what you needed just to

gain a little

perspective we were on the

break Coffey house you bet and for the

record it took two people to break up

this relationship yeah you and that girl

from the copy place which yesterday you

took full responsibility for I didn't

know what I was taking responsibility

for okay I didn't finish the whole

letter what I fell asleep sleep you fell

asleep it was 5:30 in the morning and

you had rambled on for 18

Pages front and

back oh oh and by the way y u apostrophe

r e means you are y r means

you're you know I can't believe I even

thought of getting back together with

you we are so over

fine by

me oh and hey hey hey those little

spelling tips will come in handy when

you're at home on Saturday nights

playing Scrabble with Monica hey

sorry I just feel bad about all that

sleep you're going to miss wishing you

were with me oh no no don't you worry

about me falling asleep I still have

your

letter how could someone get a hold of

your credit card number I have no idea

but look how much they spent Monica

would you calm down the credit card

people said you only have to pay for the

stuff that you bought still it's just

such Reckless spending I think when

somebody steals your credit card they've

kind of already throwing caution to the

Wi wow what a geek they spent $69.95 on

a Wonder

Mop that's

[Laughter]

me oh the yuck Ros he's doing it again

Marcel stop humping in the land stop

humping now Marcel come come back come

here Marcel no no no not in my room I'll

get him Ross you've got to do something

about the humping what it's it's just a

phase well that's what we said about

Joey hey would you all relax it's not

that big a deal Marcel stop it Marcel

Bad Monkey what let's just say my

Curious George doll is no longer curious

I have a weird feeling about this place

and how do I know they're not going to

secretly videotape me and put it all

over the

Internet because honey and I I mean this

in the sweetest way possible nobody's

going to want to watch

that Mr Bing here you are you'll go into

that room and deposit your specimen into

the Container deposit my specimen you

know I usually have to call a 900 number

for that kind of talk

thanks got

it all right honey my tests are down the

hall you sure you're going to be okay

yeah I guess look I know this is

embarrassing but nobody cares no one

here even knows

you oh my

[Applause]

god oh come on

[Applause]

[Laughter]

how great is this yeah we're probably

fertile let's go

home why are you here well Sid and I are

trying again and we had trouble last

time because apparently we no I mean why

why is she

here oh someone's a little cranky today

cuz they have to do it in a cup H oh

they gave you the kitty size

[Music]

what this was fun but I've got an

invasive vaginal exam to get

to I'd love to stay but I've uh got a

hot date please go just let me know if

you need a

hand okay Rachel you're up first

Situation Number one you're with Monica

the wedding is about to start when

Monica gets cold feet go I don't want to

marry

Chandler okay um it's going to be okay

one man the rest of my life I don't know

if I could do it this means I'll never

get to sleep with

Joey look

Monica getting cold feet is very common

you know it's it's just because of all

the anticipation and you just have to

remember that you love Chandler and also

I ran out on a wedding you don't get to

keep the gifts

very good drawing on your own experience

I like

that yes very nice Rachel thank you

judges oh kiss

ass okay Phoebe yes your

honor we're now in the ceremony Monica

is about to say I do when her drunk

uncle starts yelling what do you do go

when monac was a little girl I remember

that

oh very

good yes excellent perfect score right a

minute she just made a scene in the

middle of the ceremony hey you want a

little taste of feeds wants to go first

okay

[Applause]

okay welcome to America

[Applause]

oh go two in a row you got to use your

tongues

[Laughter]

now what are the odds what are

the okay that that's enough you know let

let's let someone else

play if you didn't want to play then

why'd you come to the

party should talk the bill we hope you

enjoyed your stay oh we did and you

still have all your

lamps I didn't factor in the room tax oh

dude don't worry about it uh I found an

unattended maid's C we're way ahead of

the

game oh my God what there's there's

something new in the

bowl look we have enough just walk away

no but I I want I want the pine

cones there's a forest right outside

it's not the same okay go

quick thank you for a delightful

stay my maple

candy everybody else finally we can

start celebrating my

I'm sorry apparently I've opened the

door to the

Past okay uh Monica man okay what what

you just saw can I ask you just a little

question why

tonight what see I've been waiting my

whole life to be engaged and unlike some

people I only planning on doing this

once so I you know I maybe this is

selfish and I'm sorry about it but I I

was kind of hoping tonight could just be

about that oh honey but it is no it's

not no no now it's about you and Ross

getting back together what yeah um you

kind of stole my

thunder okay ho ho we do not steal your

thunder because we are not getting back

together yeah no and and and you know

what nobody even saw

yeah that's

true I I swear we just kissed it was

just a kiss you guys

kissed what does this

mean are you are you get back together

can I sing at your

wedding Thunder being stolen okay come

on B it's nothing come let not make a

big deal out of this it was a onetime

thing it doesn't even matter oh my

God I cannot believe you guys are

talking about this the problem's in the

bedroom between a man and a

woman all right now Chandler is doing

the best he

can your boyfriend has been in there for

over an hour can't believe it it's like

I'm living with him again he's here when

I go to sleep he's here when I wake up

he's here when I want to use the shower

feel like I'm 16 all over again well

you're not 16 you're both adults now get

out you

doofers or you know he's rubber in your

glue all

yours I hope you cleaned your hair out

of the drain I hope you cleaned your

hair out of the dra

shut up

sh cut it out me

me I've never wanted you

more I want to watch Entertainment

Tonight tough nuggies were watching

predators of the serengetti

would you guys stop it's my TV what quit

it bite me oh my god well Monica keeps

changing the channnel a that's great why

don't you tell Mommy on

me now I'm mommy in this little play all

right look I refuse to get sucked into

this like weird little Geller dimension

thing okay so I'm going to go and take a

nice long hot bubble bath because you

kids are driving me

crazy hey hey got a second sure sure

come on in hello sweetheart oh

what you what you guys doing here uh we

are here to break up with

you both of you basically we think

you're a horrible human being and bad

things should happen to

you I'm sorry I'm sorry God I am so

sorry I'm an idiot I was weak I I

couldn't help myself whatever I did I

only did because I love you so

much uh which one of us are you talking

to there bear

Mindy Mindy of course Mindy it was

always Mindy even when we were having

sex in that chair I swear look whatever

I was doing I was always thinking of you

oh please during that second time you

couldn't have picked her out of a lineup

you did it twice well first time didn't

really count I you know it was

buried I overslept I was supposed to be

on the set half an hour ago I got to get

out of here oh what Joy you can't go

that you stink look I don't I fell

asleep before I could take a shower now

I don't have time they're just 10 blocks

away if I run I can make it yeah Run 10

blocks that'll help the smell hey slow

down no keep

moving so how did it go with Joshua last

night oh well I didn't see

Joshua but I did punch a girl in the

face what the whole night was horrible

it was pouring down rain and when I got

there there was no Rachel Green on the

list but there was a Rachel GP oh so did

you get to meet

her no there is no Rachel GP but then

this other girl overheard us and she was

all I'm Rachel G I'm Rachel gep and he

let her right in so you hit her in the

face no she was already in but then this

big behind me tried to steal my

umbrella so I clocked her I just want

you to know that what you witnessed in

there that wasn't for

fun it wasn't fun why why why would you

what what look I just don't want you to

think that we're animals who do it

whenever we want oh I don't think that

before today I never thought of you two

having sex at

all it was a simpler

time the truth is Dad we're we're

trying what yeah we're trying to get

pregnant oh my God this is so exciting

we'll get back in there I'll guard the

door it's okay D we we we can wait until

later whoa whoa waa I don't think so so

aren't you ovulating

daddy well you got to get at it princess

when your mother and I were trying to

conceive you whenever she was ovulating

bam we did it that's how I got my bad

hip it's funny this conversation is how

I got the bullet hole in my head all

right check out this bad boy 12

megabytes of ram 500 megabyte hard drive

built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a

modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS

wow what are you going to use it for

games and

stuff there are no jobs there are no

jobs for me oh wait here's one uh would

you be willing to cook

naked there's an ad for a Naked Chef no

but if you're willing to cook naked then

you might be willing to dance naked

there hi hey hey oh so um how'd you make

out last night

[Applause]

that that is funny that is painfully

funny no wait wait yeah that's just

painful wait a minute I thought last

night was was great yeah it was but I

get home okay and I see Julie's sailing

Solution on my night table and I'm

thinking to myself oh my God what the

hell am I doing I mean here I am I'm

with Julie this incredible great woman

who I care about and and who cares about

me and I'm like what am I just going to

throw all that away you got all that

from saline solution

wait a minute we're talking about Rachel

here you and Rachel oh believe me I've

been dreaming about me and Rachel for

like 10 years now but now I'm with Julie

you know so it's like me and Julie me

and Rachel me and Julie me and ra Rachel

Rachel hey you how are you good how are

you good good hi Honey hi Julie hi

Julie

Julie um how are are you good good so

everybody's

here everybody's

good so were you going to play something

Phoebe well actually I had

to all right hey Julie I didn't know you

wore lenses

what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this

is a song um about a love triangle

between three people that I made

up um it's called um two of them kissed

last

night there was a girl will call her

Betty and a guy let's call him

Neil now I can't stress this point too

strongly this story isn't real

now o Neal must decide who will be the

girl that he casts aside will Betty be

the one who he loves truly or will it be

the one who will call

[Music]

LLY he must decide he must decide even

though I made him up he must decide just

love the beginning parts of

relationships you know you just like

can't keep your hands off each other and

I know it is the best God

so so how long did that last for you and

Chandler what it's still going on come

on seriously when did it

end I am serious I mean we're we're all

over each other all the time okay well

you know where you are better than I do

I was just curious why don't you just

calm down Phoebe all

right I W you just get all your facts

before you run around telling everybody

that you know you're the only hot

couple God I woke the Beast um

I was wrong obviously I just I misspoke

it's okay oh it is okay I mean as long

as you know that Chandler and I are also

very hot and fiery I mean just as hot as

you I mean our flame woo it is on

fire hey Monica here's your broom

back you are so cute

[Music]

you know Rachel funny thing actually uh

The End Zone starts at that pole so

you're 5T short so we

[Applause]

win wait wait wait wait wait so explain

something to me though if if nobody

tagged Rachel then isn't the place still

going I'm

pregnant what now give me the sandwich

give me the

sandwich obviously this is a mistake you

can't be pregnant because you have to

have sex to get

pregnant Joe I tried to wait until I was

25 like you

did what Dina

can't believe this you're the good one

you went to college both

years who did the steal Bobby Corso but

he's a real nice guy I like him a lot

he's real funny you got pregnant for

funny

Dina if he's funny

laugh I'll be back in a little while you

stay here why we I can't look at you

right

now wow I

know S I know it's our anniversary but I

told you on the phone I don't have time

to stop okay you don't have to stop I'm

invisible I'm not here yeah but I

don't who approved that order well there

is no Mark Robinson in this office get

me Mark on the phone oh I love Mark do

you know Mark yeah well let me just

check that with what I've got here all

right see 038 is not the number for this

score Z

creat

pepper none for

me I'm sorry as I was saying the store

number is wrong and I'm sorry but that

is oh my

God oh my

okay oh yeah oh yeah excuse me I'm sorry

I'm going to have to call you back I've

got a shm in my

office what are you doing I'm sorry but

um hey oh somebody's off the phone how

about a glass of wine by the fire I get

it going again is having a secret Days

of Our Lives Party Up on the Roof and he

sent you guys to the play to get rid of

you

what what what's what's going on Joey is

having a secret Days of Our Lives Party

Up on the Roof and and he didn't want

you guys to know about it but I came

over here to tell

you I thought you came to say you were

sick all right Professor or

detective Joey's having a party and he

wasn't going to invite us yeah he does

it every year that's why he's sending

you to the play that's why he sent us to

that medieval restaurant and to that

button factory and that that horrible

Museum tour no I arranged that

hey you guys I'm turning in have

fun you know about your party Joey what

party the game's over take off your

robe great I

mean playing game you want to show

Rachel come here you want to do

something fun okay

[Music]

[Music]

you're so brave you're so brave yes you

are you're so brave okay okay H he's

fine he's fine let's just put him down

come here babe yes you're such a good

boy how could you do that to him Ross

trusted me what is he going to say he's

not going to say anything because we're

not going to tell him we're not no we're

not all right I like that okay

so we're okay we're okay we're okay

aren't we no we're not okay we're not

okay there's a bump there's a bump

there's a bu bump oh my God we push it

in push it in I cannot push it

in okay we're going to need a

distraction okay that's it okay I got it

okay the second that Ross walks in that

door yeah I want you to take him back to

your bedroom and you do whatever it is

that you do that makes him

[Music]

go or

we could put a hat on his head a hat yes

we need a hat we need a hat where are we

going to find a tiny little hat w w I'll

get rainy J bear I guess he'll know what

to

do oh my God you're a genius oh God it's

it's kind of sewn on though give it give

it

okay oh it's just like a blood bath in

here today or you could just you know

[Laughter]

what the hell are you

doing what the hell am I doing he just

broke my

fridge what what how do you know if how

do you know it's even Broken Oh you

think I don't know what breaks my

fridge excuse

me well what do you know

broken that'll be

$400 Joey I saw you push

him you pushed

them Joey I did not break this okay that

has been broken for a

while I Chan remember I told you about

our fridge uhhuh I still haven't gotten

a check for your half

yet do not give him any money I'm not

talking to you you broke my fridge took

care of everything thanks a lot co-host

wait a minute take care of everything

there's there's plenty of things for you

to do uhhuh like

what

cops cups you're giving me

cups and

Ice cups and Ice oh I get to be in

charge of Cups and Ice all

right fine okay I will be in charge of

Cups and Ice wait a minute I can get ice

at the restaurant I got it mine

hey check it out um cup hat cup Banner

cup Chandelier and the thing that

started it all the

cup great job with the cups

feves why don't you just go out with

her and did you notice the ice look we

have it all we have crushed cubed and

dry watch

a mystico

I no one's eating my tus and finger food

because they're all filling up on ph

snow cones there snow cones

snow I would like to make a toast to

Rachel and

Joey and to

love a

love l o v e

love l is for life and what is life

without

love oh my God are we supposed to

answer

O is

for oh

wow the

V is for this very surprising turn of

events which I am still fine with by the

way

is for how extremely normal I find it

that you

two are

together and that one day you might get

married I have children of your own

dude are you okay

totally Ross you don't seem okay I'm

sorry it must be the pressure of

entertaining buy and WRA all of your

Christmas gifts

no I uh oh I'll squeeze you fresh orange

juice every morning with extra pulp yeah

no

D I've got it you don't have it I so got

it there's going to be rumors about this

there's no way to stop it Sophie knows

Monica and Phoebe know how do Monica and

Phoebe know oh I called

them when they ask me what I saw I can

be very

generous or very

stingy go

on I can make you a

legend I can make you this generation's

Milton

Burl and Milton Burl has oh not compared

to

you hello

hey hello

Chandler I love

you hey what's going on

help no he doesn't

two hours that

lasted has anybody seen my engagement

ring yeah it's

beautiful oh God oh God oh God oh God oh

God oh God oh God no don't don't touch

that oh like I wasn't dreading tomorrow

enough having to give it back to him hi

Barry remember me I'm the girl in The

Veil that stomped on your heart in front

of your entire family oh God and now I'm

going to to return the ring without the

ring which makes it so much

harder easy rage we'll find it won't

wait oh yeah yeah okay

look all right when didd you have it on

last do probably right before she lost

it you don't get a lot of doy these

days no I had it this morning I know I

had it when I was in the kitchen with d

oh don't be

mad you didn't oh I'm sorry I gave you

one

job oh but look how straight those

noodles

are now Monica you know that's not how

you look for an engagement ring in

lasagna I just can't do

it

boys we're going in and I were talking

and and I was so upset about the hall

being knocked down and she suggested

that we just put the wedding off for a

bit she said what she said if I'm not

going to be happy getting married

somewhere that we can find in a day well

then we should just postpone

it postpone

it Emily do you think manica realizes

how much our parents spent on this

wedding huh do you think my sister's

teeny tiny little brain comprehends that

people took time out of their lives to

fly thousands of miles to be here

huh this isn't

right I realize that people are going to

be

disappointed but I'm sure they'll come

back when we can do it right well I

can't ask people to do that would you

ask people to do that don't you point

your pants at

me we have no choice

anywhere that's half decent will have

been B months ago Ross don't you

understand this is our wedding I'm

talking about the only thing I

understand is postponing it is not an

option this is when we're getting

married so what are you saying it's now

or never no I'm saying it's now or

there's no or in mine what is wrong with

these

pants it's not the pants it's you who's

backwards and if and if you don't

understand how important this is to me

well then perhaps we shouldn't be

getting married at all what Emily no

wait stop Emily

please where are the jello shots I don't

know Chand them supposed to be past

them CH

helloo oh somebody's feeling

better stick out your tongue take off

your

shirt oh my oh my God how many of these

did you have these are pure vodka yeah

Jal just like Mom used to

[Applause]

make okay how many of that girl are you

seeing how hammered are you huh the

these are Joey's sisters hi Joey sisters

what you

doing I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my

speed dialer a no no no no it's a good

thing why must we dial so speedily

anyway why must we rush through life why

can't we Savor the precious moments

those are some huge breasts you

have oh it's my wedding planner she's

driving me

crazy

hello hey okay stop

screaming okay so halib

it all right so salmon either way I

don't I don't it doesn't matter to me

well it matters to me

I don't care so you pick did you just

hang up on

me all right look I need you at the

rehearsal dinner tonight at 1,800 hours

uh-huh okay what time is

that you don't know military time well I

must have been in missile training the

day they taught

that just subtract 12 okay so 1,800 - 12

is

1,788 6

o00 hold on yeah Geller here

no I said it has to be there by 4:00

goodbye God how hard is it to make an

ice sculpture ice sculpture that sounds

really fancy I told you I just want a

simple wedding please honey leave the

details to me now I want to make this

day a special for you as I can no okay I

was thinking that the harpus should wear

white well harpus my friend Marjorie is

playing the steel drums oh she backed

out she did why I made

her steel drums don't really say an

wedding nor does margery's overwhelming

scent hey she will shower when Tibet is

free supposed to be back by now yeah but

her plane got delayed in Athens but

actually she should be here by now oh so

you talked to her did she did she sound

mad no but she likes

me you abandoned her on a plane to

Greece okay I did not abandon Rachel

okay Emily showed up at the airport I

had to go after her I mean I I did what

I had to do she's my wife Rachel is my

wife you know

Emily Emily is my

wife man what is

that so you still haven't heard from

Emily no not since I lost her at the

airport I can't believe she can outrun

you man hey she's fast

okay oh you think you can beat me let's

go

outside hi

re ra I am so sorry I am so so sorry oh

Ross come on you just did what you had

to

do my be well that's it you're not mad I

mean it must have been terrible terrible

hell I was in

Greece that was a nice hotel nice Beach

met the nice people it's not too shabby

for

Rachel so what that's it oh yeah we're

cool totally

cool thanks R you're the best Oh no

you're the

best oh I got to go to the flower store

oh check it out no one will tell me

where Emily is so I'm going to send 72

long stemmed red roses to her parents

house one for each day that I've known

and loved her that ought to get her

talking to me again oh Ross when you

make out the card be sure to make it out

to Emily

that's great it's so good that you had

such a good time in

Greece

what I didn't have a good time in Greece

Ross abandoned me okay I couldn't get a

plane out so I had to stay in their

honeymoon suite with people coming up to

me all the time going oh Mrs Keller why

you

cry I mean it was so humiliating I felt

like such an idiot I mean it's all my

fault and you know why because I make

very bad decisions oh that's not true

yes it is it is true I I went after Ross

in stupid London London is stupid

stupid phbe you were right I should have

never gone to London and from now on you

make all of my decisions for me oh no I

did that for someone once I'm I'm not

comfortable having that kind of power

and control over someone's life

I'll do

it hey everybody Happy Thanksgiving no

no no no no no what are we keeping

Thanksgiving a secret this year no we

are playing this game I learned at work

you have to name all the states in 6

minutes what that's like insanely easy

no it's a lot harder than it sounds you

always forget at least one or in some

cases

14 it's a stupid game and I wasn't

playing against other people so

technically I didn't lose what you

forgot 14 States nobody cares about the

dtas oh okay time's up all right I got

48 it's not bad BBS oh I got tired of

naming States so I decided to list the

types of

celery and I have one regular

celery okay so Rachel's got 48 and

Phoebe has the lead

in vegetables Joey say hello to the new

champ of Chandler's dumb States game wow

how many you got

56 done with time a to spare oo this may

be a new world's record you know I hate

to lecture you guys but it's kind of

disgraceful that a group of

well-educated adults and

Joey can't name all the states you ever

see a map or one of those round colorful

things called a globe

uh

mellin you got 46 States what that's

impossible 46 well who's well educated

now Mr I forgot 10 states Okay Ross time

is up no just give me another minute

look Ross if you don't know them by now

you will never know them okay that is

the beauty of this game it makes you

want to kill

yourself this this is crazy I can do

this all right uh I bet I can get all 50

uh before dinner okay but if you can't

no dinner you're on all right don't look

at my list Ross cuz there's a lot on

there that you don't

have how can I not get this I'm a

college professor I got 1450 on my SATs

1250 damn I forgot you were

here Ro you need some help from

you yes please

first of all

Utah dude you can't just make stuff

up I hate

America when I finish this game I swear

I am

moving okay maybe this is so hard

because there aren't 50

states let me tell you something I have

49 states and there are no

more I I think I should be able to eat

something it's up to

you look

uh I know why you're here you do yeah

and to save you from any embarrassment

um I think maybe I should talk

first okay okay

Ross and

Rachel Rachel and

Ross that's been one heck of a seesaw

hasn't

it

what I mean look that that one night we

had was fun and and certainly passionate

but don't you think it's better if we

just stay

friends seriously

what okay okay you know what if you want

to we can do it one more

time I mean I I'd be okay with that in

fact I have some time right now okay you

know what can I can I talk now oh sure

okay

ah I'm

pregnant

Ross

R okay whenever you're ready

[Laughter]

[Applause]

and you're the father by the way but you

[Laughter]

got can I get you some water I'm good

I'm

good Ross there is no pressure on you

okay I mean you can be as involved as

you

want yeah I uh I'm just I don't know I

don't

understand um how this happen

happened we we used the condom I know I

know but you know condoms only work like

97% of the time what

what

what well they should put that on the

box they do no they don't

[Applause]

well they should put it in huge block

letters Okay Ross come on let's just

forget about the condoms oh well I may

as well

have listen you know what I was really

freaked out too when I found out hey I'm

I freaked

out I'm indignant as a

consumer you know what let's let's talk

later no I want to talk now okay I in

fact I want to talk to the

president of the condom company okay you

know what maybe I should come back

okay yeah I'll press one change in my

room my clothes are

[Music]

wow you look no time for

that hey dude let me in I got a girl out

here well I've got a girl in

here you don't I just saw you go in

there with

Monica oh we're we're hanging out in

here which one of us is going to be

having sex in there me or you

well I suppose I would have to say

you what if we're watching a movie in

here which we are a and we already paid

for it it's my

giant my giant I love that movie don't

embarrassed that easily what you totally

get embarrassed no I don't Ross I I

think I'm just a more secure person than

you are is that so

yeah hey lady I'm I don't care how much

you want it okay I am not going to have

sex with you in the

bathroom uh I'm on my way back to the

bathroom yeah all right all right just

keep walking all

right what are you I'm sorry sir I just

I think he just really likes

[Music]

you hey you know that teacher who had a

baby with her

[Music]

student What the hi can I help you yes

I'm Sorry Miss do you have any extra

pants uh my friend seem to have had a

little

accident Rachel she and Phoebe took the

stripper to the

hospital did you know Chandler kissed

Rachel what when when was this

1987 the weekend you guys visited me at

school oh my God that's wild yeah but it

was like a million years ago so it

doesn't matter well it matters to me why

because the night you kissed Rachel was

the night I kissed Rachel for the very

first time you kissed her that night to

two two guys in one night wow I thought

she became a sled after she got her nose

fixed seriously where did this happen

Okay after you told me she was passed

out in our room I went in there to make

sure she was all right she was lying on

my bed all buried in people's coats well

I I went to kiss her on the forehead you

know but it was so dark I accidentally

got her lips I started to pull away but

then I I felt her start to kiss me back

it was only for a second but it was

amazing and now now I find out that you

kissed her first oh wait what bed did

you say she was on mine I'm pretty sure

I put her on my bed no she was

definitely on my bed why would I kiss a

girl and then put her on your

bed well then who was on my bed oh oh

oh no no

no you were under the pile of coats I

was the pile of coats

oh my

God you are my midnight mystery

kisser you were my first kiss with

Rachel you were my first kiss

ever what did I marry into

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
god /ɡɒd/ A2	noun - a supreme being worshipped in monotheistic or polytheistic religions
birthday /ˈbɜːθ.deɪ/ A2	noun - the anniversary of the day on which a person was born
badge /bædʒ/ B1	noun - a small object or emblem worn to show affiliation, achievement or authority
treasure /ˈtrɛʒ.ər/ B2	noun - a collection of valuable objects, or something highly valued
ladder /ˈlæd.ər/ A2	noun - a series of steps used for climbing
monkey /ˈmʌŋ.ki/ A1	noun - a small to medium-sized primate
bifocals /baɪˈfoʊ.kəlz/ C1	noun - eyeglasses with two different optical powers
queen /kwiːn/ A2	noun - the female monarch of a kingdom
wedding /ˈwɛd.ɪŋ/ B1	noun - a ceremony in which a couple is united in marriage
pregnant /ˈprɛɡ.nənt/ B1	adjective - carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the body
celebration /ˌsɛl.ɪˈbreɪ.ʃən/ B2	noun - a joyful gathering or activity to mark an event
toast /toʊst/ B2	noun - a short speech given in honor of a person or a group, often followed by drinking verb - to raise a glass and say something in honor of someone
engagement /ɪnˈɡeɪdʒ.mənt/ B2	noun - a formal agreement to marry; also a commitment to a cause
relationship /rɪˈleɪ.ʃənˌʃɪp/ B2	noun - the way in which two or more people or things are connected
anniversary /ˌæn.ɪˈvɜːr.sɚ/ B2	noun - the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded a year or more ago
marry /ˈmæri/ B1	verb - to join in marriage
hopping /ˈhɒp.ɪŋ/ B2	verb - to jump lightly from one place to another
bamboozled /bæmˈbuːz.əld/ C1	verb - to deceive or trick someone
convention /kənˈvɛn.ʃən/ B2	noun - a large meeting or conference, especially for professionals
crap /kræp/ B1	noun - something of low quality or worthless; slang for feces

Key Grammar Structures

• oh God

  ➔ Interjection, direct address to a deity.

  ➔ The phrase expresses strong emotion, often surprise or dismay. It's a common interjection.

• okay what the hell are you doing you scared the crap out of me

  ➔ Question with expletive ('hell'), phrasal verb ('scared out of'), informal language ('crap').

  ➔ The sentence demonstrates colloquial speech, using an expletive for emphasis and a phrasal verb to convey a strong emotional reaction. The use of 'crap' is very informal.

• what's going on this is so great

  ➔ Interrogative sentence, followed by an exclamatory sentence expressing positive emotion.

  ➔ The contrast between the question ('what's going on') and the exclamation ('this is so great') suggests a surprising or unexpected positive event.

• how many rungs six

  ➔ Question-answer exchange, elliptical response (omitting redundant information).

  ➔ The response 'six' is understood to mean 'There are six rungs'. The full sentence is implied but not stated, making the dialogue concise.