– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I mean, my mom never thought this would

work

out. She was all once a cheater, always

a cheater.

Mhm. Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost

those four

months. But if time was what you needed

just to gain a little perspective,

we were on a break.

Coffee house. You bet. And for the

record, it took two people to break up

this relationship. Yeah. You and that

girl from that copy place, which

yesterday you took full responsibility

for. I didn't know what I was taking

responsibility for. Okay. I didn't

finish the whole letter. What? I fell

asleep. You fell asleep.

It was 5:30 in the morning and you had

rambled on for 18 pages.

front and

back. Oh, and by the way, y u apostrophe

r e means you are. Y r means you're

know. I can't believe I even thought of

getting back together with you. We are

so over.

Fine by me.

Oh. Oh, and hey, hey, hey. Those little

spelling tips will come in handy when

you're at home on Saturday nights

playing Scrabble with Monica. Hey,

sorry.

I just feel bad about all that sleep

you're going to miss. Wishing you were

with me. Oh, no. No. Don't you worry

about me falling asleep. I still have

your letter.

Joey, um, you look familiar. Are, uh,

are you on TV or something? Well, Joey

doesn't like to talk about it, but he's

one of the stars of Days of Our Lives.

That's right. That's right. Don't you

play a woman?

A woman in a man's body.

Much better.

So, you know, Ross, it's funny cuz you

look familiar to me, too. Have you ever

been married?

Well, yes. Yes, I have. In fact, um,

just the other day, Chris and I were

talking about how I've been married and

how I have a son. Yeah, little Eric.

That's right. Wait, no, Ben.

So, you just been married the one time

then?

Well, um, you've been married twice.

Yes.

And another time after

that. Boy, I'm getting hungry.

Uh, hey Joey. Have you ever been so

hungry on a date that when the girl goes

to the bathroom, you eat some of her

food?

You said the waiter ate my crab cake.

Yeah. So, uh, Ross, that now why did

that first marriage break up? Hm.

Was it because the woman was straight or

because she was a lesbian?

Do you two know each other? No. No. No.

Just seems like Ross is the kind of guy

who would marry a woman on the verge of

being a lesbian and then push her over

the edge.

Ross. Ross. Ross.

Ross. Hi.

Hi. Are you a uh friend of Rachel's?

Yes. Yes, I am. Are you a uh a friend of

Rachel's? Actually, I'm uh kind of a,

you know, a date type

thing of

Rachel. A date? Yeah, I'm her date. Oh.

Oh, you're uh Oh, you're the date. You

know, this is actually good because if

we ever lose Ross, we have a spare. Oh,

you are the uh

paleontologist. Yes. Yes, I am. And you

are

a periodontist. See, now they're as

different as night

and later that night.

Well, I am going to uh get a beverage.

Uh it was nice nice uh meeting you.

Ditto. I uh well, I I met Russ.

Oh,

hey. I didn't know we were uh seeing

other people. Well, we're not seeing

each other, huh? So, well, uh for your

information, there's a woman at the

museum who's curator of moths and other

uh winged

things. Who's uh let it be known that

she is drawn to me, much like

a well, you

know. Well, so far I've been keeping her

at bay, but if this is the deal, well,

yeah, this is the deal. Okay. Well, um,

have a nice evening. Thank you. The

rest, you ready? Yeah.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

She's dating.

She's dating. Yes. Yes. But did you see

who she was dating? What do you mean? Do

you not see it? See what? I don't know

what she sees in in that

goober. And And takes him. What? like

like I don't know. Uh uh hello a week to

give out a sentence.

Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?

Yeah. Hey, we're having some fun now,

huh? Ross, want to do another one? Huh?

Ross.

Okay. 11 letters. Atomic element number

101 ends in

desposium. Desposium. Try

menolivium and weenie number two has it.

Unless of course nine down nights and

white satin was sung by the duty blues.

Wait, you don't see it? You actually

don't see it. What? Okay, honey. You're

dating Ross. No, babes. I'm dating Russ.

Russ is Ross. Russ. Ross. Steve. Sleeve.

Okay. No one is named

Sleeve. Baby, what the hell are you

talking about? Other than their names

being similar, I'm sorry. I do not see

what you're seeing. For your

information, it's a card sharp, not a

card shark. You could not be more wrong.

You could try, but you would not be

successful.

Okay, I'm going to get some more coffee

before the pinching and eye poking

begins.

I know what your problem is. Oh, you do?

Do you? Mhm. You're

jealous. Uh, of of what? You're jealous

because I'm a real

doctor. Hey, you're a doctor of gums.

That's the smallest body part you can

major in. It's like day one floss. Day

two. Here's your diploma. You listen.

No. No. Let me finish. No, let me

finish. No, you let me finish.

Hi. Hi.

E,

you you've been quiet all morning. Is

everything okay? Mhm.

You sure you're all right? Yep.

Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab

her some breakfast. FYI, there it is.

In the future, when a girl asks for some

ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.

Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me

about last night? I was just trying to

do the right thing. Really? Well, it

seems to me if you had done the right

thing, I would not have woken up today

feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would

have woken up feeling comforted and

satisfied.

Well, oh, stop

that. I can't believe this. What? I was

just being a good guy. I treated you

with with respect and understanding. Oh,

that is so hot.

Hey, I was looking out for you. Oh,

really? Well, Ross, you know what? I am

a big girl. I don't need someone telling

me what is best for me. I got to say,

I've not had sex a lot of times before.

This is the worst ever.

Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very

good for me either. Oh, okay. You know,

hey, hey, you know what? You know what?

To avoid this little thing in the

future, let's just say you and me never

having sex again. What? That's right.

Sex is off the table. I am never having

sex with you again.

Dr. Green, are you feeling better? Oh,

yeah. This will show him. Here we go.

What are you doing? Oh, you'll see. My

friend,

[Music]

I'm

dead and so young.

Hosting that I died. That really isn't

funny. Well, how you died was funny. Oh,

please. Hit by a

blimp. It kills over one Americans every

year. Unbelievable. My classmates are

going to think I'm dead. My professors,

my my parents are going to get phone

calls. You're messing with people's

feelings here. Well, you want to talk

about people's feelings? You should have

heard how hurt Professor Stern was

yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be

able to go with him to Key West.

You've really crossed a line here. But

that's okay. It's okay cuz I'm on my way

to buy some uh Photoshop software and a

stack of gay porn. That's right. Your

coming out's about to get real graphic.

This is Josh. Josh, these are my

friends. That's

Ross. Hey, Josh. Hi, dudes.

So, did you play in college? Oh, I still

do. Next year, I hope to make varsity,

though.

Ross, didn't you play uh soccer in high

school? Oh, no, wait. That's right. You

just organized their game schedules on

your Commodore 64.

Well, it's getting late. I got to get to

the game, so I'm going to head. Okay.

I'll miss you.

Dope.

Wow. Cute one. Very cute. I know. Isn't

he great? So nice to finally be in a fun

relationship. You know, there's nothing

boring about him. And uh bet he's never

even set foot in a museum. Well, maybe

he'll get to go soon. You know, like on

a class trip or something.

You know what else is really great about

him? Oh, what is the word for an adult

who doesn't have dinosaur toys in their

bedroom?

Um, what was that? Monica knows. It's

this dumb thing that Ross made up to try

to fool our parents. It's a way of

giving the finger without actually

having to give it.

I remember I cried the night you made

that up. This is the first time I

realized I was cooler than my big

brother.

Well, I'm going to go get

ready for my date tonight. So, uh, I'll

just head

embarrassed that easily. What? You

totally get embarrassed? No, I don't,

Ross. I I think I'm just a more secure

person than you are. Is that so?

Yeah. Hey lady, I don't care how much

you want it, okay? I am not going to

have sex with you in the

bathroom. Uh, I'm on my way back to the

bathroom.

All right. All right. Just keep walking.

All right.

What are you? I'm sorry, sir. I just I

think he just really likes you.

[Music]

Hey, you know that teacher who had a

baby with her student?

[Music]

Hi. Can I help you? Yes. I'm sorry,

miss. Do you have any extra pants? Uh,

my friend seems to have had a little

accident.

I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby

with the rash came in after me.

The doctor will be right with you, sir.

Mommy, I can't find Waldo. What? the

circus. He's behind the elephant. Wow.

So, your child's a big fan of the Waldo

books, too.

Yeah, that's that's how I know.

I'm Ross, by the way. Hi, I'm Sally. Hi.

So, no ring. Can I assume you're also a

single parent? I am a single parent.

It's hard, isn't it? There's almost no

time for a social life. I mean, where

are you going to meet someone? Well, um,

let's say, I don't know, you you met

someone in the pediatrician's office.

Uh, Rossy, we're ready for you.

[Laughter]

Um,

yeah. Come on, Ross Jr., it's time to go

in.

Mommy, what's wrong with that man? Hey,

I helped you find Wald.

I think the check-in is that way.

[Applause]

Oh, kids love me.

Hey, here.

What did you do? Why don't you go to a

costume party?

Let me guess. Um, Ponchovilla

and your Bon Saget.

Poncho? Yeah. Whoa. What are you talking

about, Fe? I don't

Oh my god, you drew on me. Hey, you wet

my pants.

Oh, what kind of party was this? Ross, I

have been walking around like this since

the plane. I You have so crossed a line.

Right. Wait, the men's room is that way.

Oh, please. What's wrong with Helen?

Helen Geller.

I don't think so. Hello. It's not going

to be Helen Geller. Thank you. No, I

mean it's not Geller. What? It's going

to be Helen Willick. No, actually, um,

we talked about Helen Willick Bunch.

Well, wait a minute. What? Why is she in

the title? Because it's my baby, too.

It's really, um, I don't remember you

making any sperm.

And we all know what a challenge that

is. All right, you two stop it. No, no,

no. She gets a credit. Hey, I'm in

there, too. Because you're not actually

suggesting Helen Willick Bunch Geller

cuz I think that borders on child abuse.

Of course not. I'm suggesting Geller

Willick Bunch. Your boyfriend has been

in there for over an hour. Can't believe

it. It's like I'm living with him again.

He's here when I go to sleep. He's here

when I wake up. He's here when I want to

use the shower. Feel like I'm 16 all

over again. Well, you're not 16. You're

both adults now. Get out, you doofus.

or you know he's rubber and you're glue

all yours.

I hope you cleaned your hair out of the

drain. I hope you clean your hair out of

the drain.

Shut up. Shut up.

Cut it out. Me.

[Music]

I've never wanted you more.

I want to watch Entertainment Tonight.

Tough noogies. We're watching Predators

of the

Serengeti. Would you guys stop? It's my

TV.

Quit it. Bite me. Oh my god. Well,

Monica keeps changing the channel. Oh,

that's great. Why don't you tell mommy

on

me? Now I'm mommy in this little play.

All right, look. I refuse to get sucked

into this like weird little Geller

dimension thing. Okay. So, I'm going to

go and take a nice long hot bubble bath

because you kids are driving me crazy.

Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent

doctor. Oh, wait a minute. His name is

Dr. Bobby.

Well, that's his last name and his first

name. He's Bobby Bobby.

It's Robert Bobby.

And um excuse me, he helps me. Please

ask her how. What do you need help for?

With my alignment. I got one leg shorter

than the other. Oh my god. Argue with

that. What? It's true. My right leg is 2

in shorter. Come on. You're just

tilting.

Her legs are fine. I know that. So, what

do you let her go to a chiropractor for?

Sorry. Let her. What can I do? She

doesn't listen to me about about

renters's insurance either. Wait a

minute. You don't have renters's

insurance?

Nope. But what if somebody steals

something? And how you going to run

after him with one leg shorter than the

other?

Hey, would you uh would you like some

juice? I love some juice. Okay.

Wow, this is going so well. Did you see

us? Did you see? Yeah, honey. I'm

standing right there.

Why don't you just tell them about the

mall? I haven't gotten checked yet.

Excellent.

Okay, I put most of the stuff away. Oh,

great. The pacifiers. Uh, it's in the uh

cupboard. The uh burping cloths. Uh

linen closet. The diapers in the

hospital.

Well, you guys got a hospital. Fancy.

Oh, I left the diapers at the hospital.

There's There's some in the bag, but

I'll run out and get some more. All

right. Thanks. Oh, Ross, can you stop at

the coffee house and get me a muffin?

Oh, sure. What kind? Um, let me think.

What do I

want? What do I want?

Please take your time. It's an important

decision. Not like say, I don't know,

deciding to marry someone. This is about

a muffin.

Blueberry. Blueberry. It is. Thank you,

Mom.

Dad, you remember that that time you

walked in my room and smelled marijuana?

Yes. Yes.

Well, I told you it was Chandler who was

smoking the pot,

but it was me. I'm sorry. It was you.

And Dad, you know that mailman that you

got fired didn't steal your Playboys?

Ross did.

Yeah. Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't

break the porch swing. Monica did.

Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a

year.

Monica and Chandler are living together.

Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got

divorced again.

That's a lot of information to get in 30

seconds.

All right, Monica. Why you felt you had

to hide the fact that you're in an

important relationship is beyond me. And

we kind of figured about the porch

swing.

Brass, drugs, divorced again.

What happened, son? I I uh I got tricked

into all those things.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Um,

I think there's something that we really

need to talk about. I think we

do. Why don't we go inside?

Look,

uh, I know why you're here. You do?

Yeah. And to save you from any

embarrassment, um, I think maybe I

should talk first.

Okay. Okay.

Ross and

Rachel. Rachel and

Ross. That's been one heck of a seessaw,

hasn't it?

What?

I mean, look, that that one night we had

was fun and and certainly passionate,

but don't don't you think it's better if

we just stay friends?

Seriously? What?

Okay. Okay. You know what? If you want

to, we can do it one more time.

I mean, I I'd be okay with that. In

fact, I have some time right now. Okay.

You know what? Can I Can I talk now? Oh,

sure. Okay.

I'm

pregnant, Ross.

Ross. Okay. Whenever you're ready.

[Laughter]

[Applause]

And you're the father, by the way. But

you got it.

Can I get you some water? I'm good. I'm

good.

Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay.

I mean, you can be as involved as you

want.

Yeah. I uh I'm just I don't know. I

don't

understand. Um how this

happened. We We used a condom. I know. I

know. But you know, condoms only work

like 97% of the time. What?

What?

What? Well, they should put that on the

box.

They do. No, they

[Laughter]

don't. Well, they should put it in huge

block letters.

Okay, Ross, come on. Let's just forget

about the condom. Oh, well, I may as

well have.

Listen, you know what? I was really

freaked out, too, when I Hey, I'm not

freaked

out. I'm indignant as a consumer.

You know what? Let's Let's talk later.

No, no, I want to talk now. Okay. I in

fact, I want to talk to the

president of the condom company. Okay.

You know what? Maybe I should come back.

Sh.

Yeah, I'll press one.

Hi.

You uh wanted to see me?

Yeah. Uh here's a box of your stuff.

What? Uh you know, it's just like hats

and shirt and CDs. Just sort of stuff

that you've left here. What are you

doing? Are you Are you trying to hurt me

or something?

No,

Ross. It It just seems that, you know,

it's time we, you know, move on. I I

mean, don't you think?

Yes. Yeah. Yes, I do. Yeah. I I really

do.

Hey, this this was a gift. Ross, you got

that for free from the museum gift shop.

It's still a gift. I got it from the

gift shop.

Okay. All right. Give me the mug. I'll

keep the mug. No. You know, you know it.

Don't do me any favors. In fact,

where where's the rest of my stuff? Huh?

Like like my um Hey, this book is

mine. And and and and that t-shirt you

sleep in. I'd like that back, too. Yes,

I do.

You know how much I love that t-shirt.

You never even wear that t-shirt. I'm

just trying to help you move on.

Oh, you are a petty man. You are a

petty, petty, petty, petty, small.

[Laughter]

You are so just doing this out of spite.

A no, no, no. I'm I'm going to wear this

all the time. I love this shirt.

You have not worn that t-shirt since you

were 15. It doesn't even fit you

anymore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Okay. And if you don't mind, I'm going

to take the rest of my

stuff and

relax in my favorite

shirt. You have a pleasant evening.

Wait a minute. You You hated the name

Ruth. Why Why would you change your

mind? Unless you know we're never going

to have to use it. You did see the

folder. You know it's a boy. I didn't

see anything. I actually changed my mind

about the name. Oh, I don't think so.

You're You're just giving me Ruth. So So

you'll get to name him when it's a boy.

And then that's when you'll swoop in and

and name him Heath or Blaine or Seoia.

I would put Seoa.

Veto. Fine.

Unless

you anticipated that I would figure all

this out and you know that it actually

is a girl and and you really do want her

to be named Ruth. Well, I'm not falling

for that. Okay, Ruth is off the table.

But Ross, you want the name Ruth? Not

like this.

Sure have a lot of books about being a

lesbian.

Well, you know, you you have to take a

course, otherwise they don't let you do

it.

Hey, hey, Yurt the Turtle, a classic.

Actually, I I'm reading it to the baby.

the uh the baby that hasn't been born

yet. Um wouldn't that mean you're crazy?

What? You don't think they can hear

sounds in there?

You're not serious. I mean, do you

really you really talk to it? Yeah, all

the time. I want the baby to know my

voice.

Do you uh do you talk about me? Yeah.

Yeah. All the time. Really? But um we

just refer to you as Bobo the sperm guy.

Hey, guess what I got for your wedding?

A freakishly thin date with a hanger for

a head.

No, Rachel hooked me up with a tux. But

not just any tux. Batman's

tux. That's right. Made expressly for

Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit

film that Batman film he was in.

You can't wear that. I'm wearing the

famous tux. James Bond's tux. So So if

you wear that, it'll make mine less

special. Well, you need something to

make this date special. Hello. You have

the most special thing of all. You are

marrying the woman you love.

Please don't take away my cool thing.

Please. Pretty please. Pretty please.

Not very uh 007.

Look, it's my wedding day, okay? If you

were getting married, I would never do

anything to upset you. When I got

married, you slept with my sister. That

was pretty 007.

Cuz I've got a product report to read.

It's like eight pages. I hope I don't

fall asleep.

Why did you write it?

Whoa, look at that. Chip Matthews

called. Wonder what he wants.

Well, uh, actually, I bet he sensed that

I was ready to have sex with another

guy.

Well,

um, why don't you give him a call?

Okay.

Um, are you sure you want to hear this?

Oh, I'm sure.

Chip. Hi, it's

Rachel. Rachel

Green. Yeah. Um, you left me a

message. Yes, you did. My roommate wrote

it down.

Monica

Geller.

Oh. Oh, that's

right. He called to ask out

Monica. That's That's got to be

embarrassing.

Cad's ready. All right, let's go. You're

welcome. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you

speaking to me or sleeping with someone

else?

We were on a break. Okay. You know,

Ross, why don't you just put that on

your answering machine? Hey. Hey, it's

valid. Okay. And I'm not the only one

who thinks so. Monica agrees with me.

What? I don't know.

That's what you said last night. What I

said was was that I

understood. Joey is the one who agreed

with you. Okay. Really, Joey?

What?

You know what? But there there is no

right or wrong here. No, I think it's

very obvious who's wrong here. Obviously

not to Joey.

What? Joey the same way that

I guess who I am.

Hey, hey, hey,

hey. Look what you're doing to Chandler.

Kick Whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?

There's no question. So, you think Ross,

too?

You picked Ross. Ross is really strong.

He's the strongest out of all three of

you, except for Joey.

I cannot believe you didn't pick me. Uh,

in her defense, she's right. I am

stronger. I would destroy you. Oh,

really? You think you're stronger? Why

don't you prove it?

Oh, I'll prove it. I'll prove it like a

theorem. Hey, wait. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop. Now, no one's going to fight in

this apartment. Hey, Monica. People came

to see a fight. Let's give them what

they came for.

Hey, you guys could arm wrestle. Yeah.

Listen to the nurse.

You're going down. Oh yeah, you're going

further down. Down town. Seriously,

guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.

Mona

Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where

would I be?

I am so sorry. I spilled wine all over

your shirt. Oh, it's okay. No, it's

still wet. You know what? Let me get it

out before it sets. Oh, I have something

you could wear.

here.

Oh, I don't know if I want to wear a

woman's shirt.

No, no, that that's a man's shirt.

Awfully pink.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Oh, my god.

Ross.

Hello.

Ross, what are you doing? Not touching

myself, if that makes anyone less

uncomfortable.

Okay, here we go.

Well, yeah,

I think I'm going to take off.

Huh?

Oh, you guys, this was an amazing night.

Thank you so much. I love you. Good

night. What?

I don't get a goodbye.

Lucky bastard.

She says goodbye to everyone but me.

Well, maybe she thought that with all of

your history, it could be, you know,

implicit. Well, it needs to be placit.

All right, let's think about this. I

mean, there's got to be an explanation.

Uh, did you do anything to make her mad?

No, I don't I don't think so. You know,

maybe she was just really spent from our

talk. It was pretty intense. Yeah, mine,

too. Mine was a humdinger.

Okay. I mean, don't I deserve anything?

I mean, a few tears. A a cursory hug.

Not from you,

Ros. If you're this upset, you should go

and talk to her. And say what? You owe

me a goodbye. That mean it's got more

pride than that. The hell I do?

I don't get a goodbye.

What? Everyone gets a goodbye but me.

What do I got to do to get a goodbye?

Huh? Uh, be best friends with you. uh go

out with you, have have a baby with you.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I did

all those things.

Or maybe maybe I'm just not giving you

enough credit. Uh I mean, it is

difficult to say goodbye to five people.

Uh goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

It's physically impossible.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
perspective /pərˈspektɪv/ B2	noun - a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
responsibility /rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪləti/ B1	noun - the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
finish /ˈfɪnɪʃ/ A2	verb - to come to an end; to complete something.
familiar /fəˈmɪliər/ B1	adjective - well known from having seen or experienced it before.
stars /stɑːrz/ A2	noun - a luminous point in the night sky.
married /ˈmærid/ A2	adjective - having a spouse.
hungry /ˈhʌŋɡri/ A2	adjective - feeling or displaying the need for food.
date /deɪt/ A2	noun - a social or romantic appointment or engagement.
paleontologist /ˌpeɪli.ənˈtɒl.ə.dʒɪst/ C1	noun - a scientist who studies prehistoric life, including dinosaurs.
periodontist /ˌpɪəri.əˈdɒntɪst/ C1	noun - a dentist specializing in the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of periodontal disease.
curator /ˈkjʊəreɪtər/ B2	noun - a person in charge of a museum, zoo, or other place of exhibition.
drawn /drɔːn/ B1	adjective - attracted or pulled toward something.
jealous /ˈdʒeləs/ B1	adjective - feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
satisfied /ˈsætɪsfaɪd/ B1	adjective - pleased or content.
embarrassed /ɪmˈbærəst/ B1	adjective - feeling or showing awkwardness or shame.
graphic /ˈɡræfɪk/ B2	adjective - very detailed and vivid.