– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[Music]

Hey, look, Joey. I'm just saying if you

need something to hold you over, I can

get you a job right here as an

entry-level processor. But don't you

need experience for a job like that?

It's not that hard to learn. And as for

people realizing that you have no idea

what you're doing, hey, you're an actor.

Act like a processor. People will think

you're a processor.

Hey, Chandler, here's this morning's

projection. Hey, thanks. Scott

Alexander, Joey Tribani.

Joey is a uh fellow processor. No

kidding.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I process. People want

the processing. I'm the one they call.

Where do you work? Uh, well, right now

I'm in between things. You know how it

is. One day you're processing, the next

day you're not so much processing.

I was just telling Joey about the

opening in Fleshman's group. Fleshman's

group. Whatever you do, don't touch your

sandwiches.

Are all you processors dorks?

So, basically, this is very easy. You

read from the script and you try to sell

as much toner as you possibly can. Okay,

I can do that. Oh, by the way, I'd love

my office.

Why don't we do a trial run? Oh,

okay.

Um, all

right. Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire

Office Supplies. Can I speak to your

supply manager, please? I'm the supply

manager. Um, okay. I'd like to talk to

you about your toner needs. We don't

need any toner. Oh, okay. Well, I'm

sorry to bother you. Bye-bye.

Yeah, you're right. This is easy. Okay.

What was wrong with that call? Oh, well.

All right. Um, no offense, but you were

kind of rude.

They're always going to tell you they

don't need toner, but that's okay

because whatever they say, you can find

the answer to it here in the script. Oh.

So, I think you're ready to sell toner.

Do you have any last question? No. Oh,

wait. Yes, I do. I do have one question.

What is toner?

It's our anniversary, but I told you on

the phone I don't have time to stop.

Okay, you don't have to stop. I'm

invisible. I'm not here. Yeah, but I

don't Oh, who approved that order? Well,

there is no Mark Robinson in this

office. Get me Mark on the phone. I love

Mark. Do you know Mark? No. Well, let me

just check up with what I got here. All

right. See, 038 is not the number for

this score. 038 is Atlanta.

Pepper.

None for me. Don't get sad.

I'm sorry. As I was saying, the store

number is wrong and I'm sorry, but that

is Oh my god.

Okay.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Excuse me. I'm

sorry. I'm going to have to call you

back. I've got Shmp in my office.

What are you doing? I'm sorry, but um

Hey. Oh, somebody's off the phone. How

about a glass of wine by the fire? I'd

get it going again if you seeing in

Chicago, New York, and London are

consistently solid, but many of our

field offices have reported

disappointing

yields. Boston is down, Atlanta is down,

Houston is down. I could go on and on,

but instead of boring you, I'll go

straight to my 42point plan.

[Laughter]

Walter. Okay, if everyone's on board,

it's settled. Chandler.

[Laughter]

Chandler. Yeah. Are you on board?

Yes.

When problem solved, Chandler will be

running our office in Tulsa. You're

going to love Oklahoma.

Try feeding her again. I already fed

her. I know. That's why I said again.

All right, you guys. We can't turn on

each other. Okay, that's just what she

wants. Okay, Monica, can I talk to you

outside for a minute? Oh, no. You guys

just stay here. Here, I'm going to go

check her diaper. Febs, you want to

come? Oh, I'm kind of part of this.

Actually, Feebs, it's more of a husband

and wife kind of thing. I knew I should

have married Chandler.

Okay. What's up? Okay. Um, you know how

we always said it would be fun to move

to Paris for a year? You know, you could

study French cooking and I could write

and we could picnic along the sand and

go wine tasting in Bordeaux. Oh, yes.

Okay. You know how people say that

Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?

[Laughter]

What? Who says that?

People who have never been to Paris.

What's going on? We're moving to Tulsa.

[Laughter]

Excuse me. Okay. Miss McKenna, she kind

of uh works above my boss. She asked me

to move to Tulsa and be the president of

our office there and I was sleeping and

apparently said yes.

Tulsa, Oklahoma, the Sooner

State, whatever that is,

Taylor, I don't even want to see the

musical Oklahoma. Really? Oh, what a

beautiful morning story with a fringe on

top. Are you trying to tell me that

we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're

gay?

Right. Not that this matters, but did

they at least offer you a huge raise?

No. No, but they are going to lease us a

Ford Focus.

I'll get out of it. Thank you.

What is wrong with Emma? Oh, she

misunderstood. She thought she was

moving to Tulsa.

Ma'am, uh, do you have a minute? I kind

of have some bad news. I I don't think I

can move to Tulsa.

What? Uh, it's a funny story

actually. Uh, I kind of fell asleep in

the meeting this morning. So, when I

said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really

know what I was saying. You fell asleep?

But only because I was up all night

worried about this meeting. Ain't that

funny?

Irony. Not a fan. All

right. See, here's the thing. I went

home and told my wife about Tulsa and

and she won't go. See me? I love Tulsa.

Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is Italy. Please

don't make me go

there. Chandler, I No, no, no. Look,

Carol, can I call you

Carol? Why would I when your name is

Elaine? Oh, what a great picture of your

son strapping.

That's a picture of your daughter, isn't

it?

Well, she's lovely. I I like a girl with

a strong jaw.

I'll call you from Tulsa. Hey, feel free

to look, but I'm telling you, those

contracts are not on this desk. How

could you possibly know? Look at this

mess, Tag. I mean, this is what I'm

talking about. You have to be more

organized. You've got newspapers. You

got magazines.

Oh, and who's this

chippy? Little young for you, Tag, but

whatever. It's my sister.

Very cute braces.

Anyway, you know what the point is, Tag?

Start looking because you are going to

find those contracts on your desk.

So, when do you imagine you gave them to

me? In the morning or in the afternoon?

In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into

my office after lunch. He put them on my

desk and then I put a postit on

it that said, "Must go out

today." So, you just keep looking in

there. All right. I uh Oh, I'll squeeze

you fresh orange juice every morning

with extra pulp. Yeah.

No, I got it.

You don't have it. I so got it. There's

going to be rumors about this. There's

no way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica

and Phoebe know. How do Monica and

Phoebe know? Oh, I called

them. And when they ask me what I saw, I

can be very

generous or very stingy.

Go on. I could make you a legend.

I can make you this generation's Milton

Burl.

And Milton Burl has Oh, not compared to

you.

Hello. Hey. Hey. Hello, Chandler.

I love you.

Hey, what's going on? Oh,

no he doesn't.

Two hours that lasted.

The data we're receiving from MRI scans

and DNA testing of these fossils are are

staggering. Mhm. I mean, we've been

accepting Leaky's dates as as a given.

But if they're off by even a 100,000

years or so, then you can you can just

throw most of our assumptions, you know,

right in the

trash. So, so what I'm saying is is

is

that is that uh

reparations could could be huge. I mean,

not just in in paleontology, but if you

think about it, in in evolutionary

biology, uh, genetics, uh, geology, I

mean, truly, the the mind boggles.

Well, that's not what you want.

[Music]

Hello, Joey. Hey, I need to talk to

Charlie. Is she there? No, she uh she

went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's

up? Well, I'm meeting with Professor

Sherman about my being the keynote

speaker. Oh, how's it going? It could be

better.

He um he fell asleep. What? But I

already bought my ticket to Bermuda,

Barbados. Fine, I'll rent the car and

drive. Ross, you have to get that job.

What am I supposed to do? He's cold. In

fact, he was just talking in his sleep

before, and evidently he wants someone

named Fran to spank him harder.

Well, just wake him up. I can't. If he

realizes that I'm the one who put him to

sleep, I won't get the job. Ooh, that's

a tough one. Oh, wait a minute. This

happened to me before. Yeah, I was

auditioning for a play and the producer

fell asleep.

I No, wait a minute. It was me who fell

asleep.

Yeah. I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how

about a chase scene once in a while?

[Music]

Oh my god. You really want me to be the

keynote

speaker? Thank you.

You're welcome.

May I help you? Yeah, I'm a friend of

Rachel Greens. Oh, right. Uh, Dawn.

Close.

Ron. Well, uh, what can I do for you?

Um, well, I'm here to see if if uh

you'll give Rachel her job back. Ah, did

she uh ask you to come here and do this?

Oh, no. First, I have to get you to

agree. Then we'll see if she wants to

come back.

Wow, that is tempting.

Look, she loved her job here. And let's

face it, you're not going to find anyone

who did it as well as she did. Isn't

that true? She is good. Oh, I took a

shot there.

This your son? Yeah, his name is Ross.

What? Uh, nothing. It's just it's uh

it's close to Ron.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Uh, listen, Bing. I received your memo.

So, we're not going to see the systems

report until next Friday. Well, the

people in my group want to spend the

holiday weekend with their family. I

have a family. I'm going to be here.

Yeah. Bing. What's that about?

It's about cutting my people a little

slack, you know, for morale. Look, if

you want to see some rough numbers, I

can get them to you by Wednesday. Rough

numbers.

This company was not built on rough

numbers. Am I right,

Mr. Have the final numbers on my desk by

Tuesday. If you say so, sir.

Joseph's good, isn't he?

Well, I'm going to kill you.

Hey. Hey. I just figured Joseph's the

kind of guy who likes to mix it up. You

know, get in there, ruffle some

feathers.

Why?

Look, I'm sorry, but that's what Joseph

does. Okay? If you try to pull

something, he'll call you on it. What

are you trying to pull? He'll say, "I've

just been working on this big

presentation for tomorrow." Well, I

should be involved in that. So, why

don't you get me up to speed? That's

going to take weeks. Why don't you just

let me take care of the presentation?

Oh, no, no, no, no. I see what you're

doing here. All right. Listen, this is

my job, buddy. Okay? I've had it for 5

years and I know how it works. So, why

don't you just catch me up? Fine.

Oh, God. I totally messed with the back

support on my chair. How do you fix

this? Hey, you've been here 5 years. You

figure it out. Fine, I

will. All

right, fill me in. Chandler Bing. Hi,

honey. We're all here. We just want to

wish you a merry Christmas. Merry

Christmas. Merry Christmas.

A merry Christmas. I miss you guys. So,

is it horrible? Is everybody working

really hard? Uh, well, no. It's just uh

me and Wendy.

Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.

It is. Did I not tell you about her?

Mhm. Mhm. About the time you told me

about New Year's Eve. Where's everybody

else? I sent them home. Oh, you are such

a good boss. Is she pretty?

Uh uh. Answer faster. Answer faster. I

don't know. Answer better. Answer

better.

I don't think of her that way, you know.

I She's a uh she's a colleague. What

does she do there? Oh, she's regional

vice president. She's just below me. She

did what?

Below me.

Oh, wait. Is Wendy the runner-up Miss

Oklahoma? What?

Well, she she didn't win.

All right. Well, maybe I should let you

and the second prettiest girl in

Oklahoma get back to work. Well, second

prettiest that year. here. I mean, of

all the girls in Oklahoma, she's

probably Oh, Chandler, stop talking.

Honey, there's really nothing to worry

about. Okay, I'm serious. Okay.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry

Christmas, you guys. Merry Christmas.

The wife says, "Hi." Ah, fun

conversation. Oh, well, she's just got

this weird idea that uh you know, just

because you and I are alone that

something's going to happen. Huh?

Really? That be so terrible?

This is probably the wrong thing to be

worrying about, but you're getting ham

on my only tie.

Toby, have a good

night. Did that guy just call you Toby?

Yeah, he thinks that's my name.

Well, why don't you correct him? Oh,

it's been going on way too long now.

I mean, the first time he said it, we

were just passing each other in the

hallway, so I didn't say anything. And

then the next time he said, "Hey, Toby,

you want a donut?" And I I wanted a

donut. And now it's 5 years later, the

donut's gone, and I'm still Toby.

Wow, it's huge. It's so much bigger than

the cubicle.

Oh, this is a cube.

Look at this.

You have a window.

Yes, indeedy. With a beautiful view of

Oh, look. That guy's peeing.

Okay, that's enough of the view. All

right, check this out. Look at this.

Okay, sit down here. Sit. Okay. Okay,

this is great. This is great.

Yeah.

Helen, could you come in here for a

moment?

Thank you, Helen. That'll be all.

Last time I do that, I promise.

It's been a while, huh? Well, it's

funny. These halls look smaller than

they used to. It's a different building.

Dope.

Striker Raor, huh? When do you want me

to start? Why don't we start right now?

Okay. Here are the audition scenes.

Audition? Thought you were going to

offer me the part. Why would you think

that? Well, I was Dr. Drake Ramores,

Striker's twin brother, who looks more

like me than me,

right? Everybody has to audition.

You know, Terry, I I don't really need

to do this. I got my own cable TV

series with the robot.

I'm sorry, Joey. That's That's the way

it

is.

Well, I guess you think you're pretty

special, huh? Sitting up here in your

fancy small hall

building, making stars jump through

hoops for you, huh? Well, you know

what? This is one star whose

hoop This is a star that the hoop. This

hoop I was Dr. Drake Lamore.

[Music]

Good morning everybody. Can I get you a

cup of coffee, sir? Oh, no, no, no. I'm

an intern just like you guys, except for

the tie, the briefcase, and the fact

that I can rent a car.

Seriously, you're an intern? Yeah. Oh,

I'm kind of heading in a new career

direction and you know, you got to start

at the bottom,

dude. All right. Look, I know I'm a

little bit older than you guys, but it's

not like I'm Bob Hope,

the comedian. Uso.

Uh, it's USA. Sir,

I really owe you an apology for what?

Well, when we first met, you know, I

thought you were pompous and arrogant

and obnoxious. Is this your first

apology? No, I just mean that, you know,

first impressions don't mean anything.

And I I I think you're a really good

guy, and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.

Morning. Do you know what? Hey, new day,

new leaf. I am just really, really

happy. I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's

ass has something more important to say,

so I'll just wait till it's finished.

What? I was giving you an apology, and

you were totally checking her out. I

wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion.

I was looking at her skirt.

Or was it pants? I didn't really see

what happened below the ass area.

Oh, wow. You are really You're really a

creep. What? Do you even care if I was

looking at her? Are you jealous? Oh,

yeah. I'm jealous. Oh, Gavin, please.

Please look at my

ass. Stop looking at my

ass. I mean, I just think you are

totally inappropriate. Okay, this is a

work environment. She's your

subordinate. But it was okay when you

slept with your old assistant, Tag.

That is totally different for two

reasons.

One, I didn't know that you knew

that. And two, I wasn't some creep

staring at his ass. We had a We had a

deep meaningful relationship.

Huh? What was Tag's last name? It

was Oh my

god. He He did He he didn't have a last

name. Is it true that the reason you're

here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in

a meeting and took the job without

realizing what you were saying yes to?

Well, don't believe everything you hear,

Ken. But yeah, that's true. All

right, let's get started by uh taking a

look at last quarter's figures.

Uh Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow

smoke up the boss's ass?

I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?

No, no, no, no. I smoked for years, then

I quit.

Right now, I can't remember why.

You're not allowed to smoke in this

office, though, right? Yes. In Oklahoma,

it's legal to smoke in offices with 15

people or less. Would you like one? All

right. Look, look. I don't smoke

anymore. But if the rest of you want to

light up, go ahead. It's

fine. So, you all smoke then. No. It's

It's almost rude that I'm not smoking.

Well, that's not true. If you don't want

to smoke, Ken, please.

No, I can't I can't smoke. If I smoke,

my wife would kill me. I'm sorry, but

isn't your wife back in New York?

I've always liked you, Ken.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
processor /ˈprɒsɛsər/ B2	noun - a person or machine that processes something, especially data
toner /ˈtoʊnər/ A2	noun - powder used in printers and copiers to form the printed text or images
contract /ˈkɒntrækt/ B1	noun - a legally binding written agreement between parties
manager /ˈmænɪdʒər/ B1	noun - a person responsible for controlling or administering an organization or group of staff
meeting /ˈmiːtɪŋ/ B1	noun - an assembly of people for a specific purpose, especially for discussion
assumption /əˈsʌmpʃən/ C1	noun - something that is accepted as true without proof
evolutionary /ˌiːvəˈluːʃənəri/ C1	adjective - relating to the process of evolution or development
biology /baɪˈɒlədʒi/ B2	noun - the scientific study of life and living organisms
genetics /dʒəˈnɛtɪks/ B2	noun - the branch of biology that deals with heredity and variation in organisms
geology /dʒiˈɒlədʒi/ B2	noun - the science that deals with the Earth's physical structure and substance
paleontology /ˌpeɪliɒnˈtɒlədʒi/ C1	noun - the scientific study of fossils and ancient life forms
anniversary /ˌænɪˈvɜːrsəri/ B2	noun - the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded, celebrated annually
apology /əˈpɒlədʒi/ B1	noun - a regretful acknowledgment of an offence or failure
misinterpret /ˌmɪsɪnˈtɜːrprɪt/ B2	verb - to understand or explain something incorrectly
raise /reɪz/ B1	verb - to increase the amount, level, or strength of something; especially a salary
lease /liːs/ B2	verb - to rent property or equipment to another for a set period of time
internship /ˈɪntɜːnʃɪp/ B2	noun - a short period of work experience, especially for a student or recent graduate
sarcastic /sɑːˈkæstɪk/ B2	adjective - using irony to mock or convey contempt