[Music]
00:00
Hey you guys, check it out. Check it
00:02
out. Guess what job I just got?
00:04
I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his
00:08
blue blazer black.
00:10
What? Blue blazer back. He He wants it
00:15
back.
00:18
You said black. Why would he want his
00:20
blue blazer back?
00:22
Well, you you you know what I meant.
00:25
No, you messed it up.
00:28
You're stupid.
00:31
Can't believe I'm getting my nails done.
00:34
And you said it was going to be fun.
00:36
It kind of is.
00:39
Also, you said there were going to be
00:41
other guys here. There are no other guys
00:42
here.
00:44
Jailer, there's a guy right over there.
00:45
That's a mailman.
00:47
That's our mailman.
00:50
Hi.
00:52
Taylor, don't worry. This doesn't make
00:58
you any less of a guy.
01:00
That does.
01:03
What am I sitting on?
01:06
I'd hate to think what this woman was
01:10
scratching when this broke off.
01:12
Hey, you know uh who used to have nails
01:14
like that?
01:16
Oh my god.
01:17
All right. There's a nuclear holocaust.
01:24
I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go
01:27
out with me?
01:30
I've got canned goods.
01:37
Hey guys, take a look at this. Check
01:40
this baby out. Dug me a hole.
01:43
Excellent hole, Joe.
01:48
Oh no. No. My whole world.
01:52
What? What? What is it?
01:56
Jellyfish sting. Ow. It hurts. It hurts.
01:58
It hurts.
02:01
Can we help you? Want us to take you
02:02
back to the house?
02:03
Oh, it's like 2 miles.
02:04
Yeah. And I'm a little tired from
02:05
digging the hole.
02:06
Damn the jellyfish. Damn. Oh, the
02:09
jellyfish.
02:12
I got to do something.
02:14
Well, there's really only one thing you
02:15
can do.
02:16
What? What is it? You're going to have
02:17
to pee on it.
02:19
What?
02:21
Woo!
02:22
Don't blame me. I saw it on the
02:23
Discovery Channel.
02:25
You know what? He's right. There's
02:26
something like uh ammonia in that that
02:27
kills the pain.
02:30
Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that
02:32
bad.
02:34
If you want some privacy, you can use my
02:37
hole.
02:38
Pass the cheese, please.
02:43
My god, you can't even look at me, can
02:51
you?
02:53
Nope.
02:54
Hey, it's Phoebe. We can talk to BB.
02:57
No, I'm I'm too depressed to talk.
03:00
I'll give you $1,000 to talk to us.
03:03
Hey, you guys. What do you What do you
03:06
think about making that beach trip an
03:08
annual thing?
03:10
No.
03:11
All right, that's it, you guys. What
03:12
happened out there? What? We took a
03:14
walk. Nothing happened. I came back with
03:17
nothing all over me.
03:20
Come on. What happened, Joey?
03:22
All right.
03:26
No, Joey. We swore we'd never tell.
03:27
They'll never understand.
03:29
We have to say something. We have to get
03:35
it out. It's eating me alive.
03:37
Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
03:41
All right.
03:44
All right.
03:48
I got stung.
03:53
Stung bad.
03:56
I couldn't stand. I I couldn't walk. We
03:59
were two miles from the house.
04:03
We were scared and alone.
04:07
We didn't think we could make it.
04:10
I was in too much pain
04:17
and I was tired from digging the huge
04:18
hole.
04:20
[Applause]
04:22
And then Joey remembered something.
04:23
I'd seen this thing on the Discovery
04:27
Channel.
04:29
Wait a minute. I saw that on the
04:30
Discovery Channel. Yeah. about jellyfish
04:32
and how if you
04:34
Ew,
04:39
you peed on yourself.
04:40
Ew.
04:43
You can't say that. You You don't know.
04:44
I I thought I was going to pass out from
04:48
the pain. Anyway, I I tried, but I I
04:50
couldn't bend that way.
04:54
So,
04:59
[Applause]
05:02
That's right. I stepped up.
05:06
She's my friend and she needed help.
05:11
If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
05:14
Only uh I couldn't.
05:22
I got the stage fright.
05:28
I wanted to help, but there was just too
05:32
much pressure. So So I uh I turned to
05:33
Chandler.
05:36
Joy kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do
05:41
it. Do it. Do it now."
05:44
Sometimes late at night, I can still
05:47
hear the screaming.
05:49
That's cuz sometimes I just do it
05:54
through my wall to freak you out.
05:55
One more time. Hey, don't you want a
05:57
washboard stomach and rockhard pecs?
06:00
No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man
06:02
breasts.
06:05
Good. That's good.
06:07
Okay.
06:08
I want to quit the gym.
06:15
You want to quit?
06:17
I want to quit the gym.
06:22
You do realize you won't have access to
06:25
our new full service Swedish spa.
06:27
I want to quit the gym.
06:35
Okay. Dave in the membership office
06:38
handles quitters.
06:40
Excuse me. Are you a member?
06:43
Me?
06:46
No.
06:48
Sorry. Members only.
06:50
I want to quit the gym. It's
06:54
okay, man. Be strong.
06:56
So, are you a member of any gym?
07:04
No, and I'm not going to be. So, you can
07:07
save your little speech.
07:10
Okay, no problem. Could you come here
07:11
for a second?
07:14
Hi, I'm Maria.
07:17
You're up first. Okay. Okay. You have 30
07:21
seconds.
07:24
The lightning round begins. Stop it.
07:27
Now, what was Monica's nickname when she
07:32
was a field hockey goalie?
07:34
Big fat goalie.
07:36
Correct.
07:37
[Laughter]
07:38
Rachel claims this is her favorite
07:40
movie.
07:42
Dangerous leaison.
07:43
Correct. Her actual favorite movie is
07:44
Weekend of Bernie.
07:46
Correct.
07:47
In what part of her body did Monica get
07:49
a pencil stuck at age 14?
07:51
Oh
07:54
e. No
07:58
her ear.
08:01
All right. Monica categorizes her
08:05
towels. How many categories are there?
08:07
Everyday use. Fancy guest. Fancy guest.
08:10
2 seconds.
08:13
No. 11.
08:14
11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct.
08:16
Yes.
08:19
All right, that's four for the guys.
08:23
Ladies, you're up.
08:25
All right. Come on. Come on.
08:26
Oh.
08:27
30 seconds on the clock. Five correct
08:32
questions wins the game. The lightning
08:35
round begins now. What is Joey's
08:38
favorite food?
08:40
Sandwiches.
08:40
Correct.
08:41
Chandler was how old when he first
08:42
touched a girl's breast?
08:44
14.
08:45
No, 19.
08:46
Thanks, man.
08:46
Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.
08:48
His name was Maurice.
08:51
Correct. His profession was
08:52
space cowboy.
08:54
Correct.
08:54
What is Chandler Bing's job?
08:57
Oh gosh. This has something to do with
09:03
numbers and processing. Well, it carries
09:05
a briefcase.
09:07
10 seconds. You need this or you lose
09:08
the game.
09:09
It's um has something to do with
09:10
transbonding.
09:11
Oh. Oh. Oh, he's a trans trans monster.
09:12
That's not even a word.
09:18
I can get this. I can get this.
09:22
[Applause]
09:27
[Music]
09:32
Kathy. Kathy. Hi, Kathy. Kathy,
09:36
[Music]
09:43
Kathy,
09:50
[Music]
09:59
moving.
10:06
Cammy.
10:10
Cathy.
10:16
Hey, Chandler. What are you doing here?
10:17
I just want to say hey.
10:22
Hey.
10:25
Okay.
10:27
You guys have any wrapping paper? Oh, is
10:31
it for my birthday present?
10:34
Fees, it was your birthday like months
10:36
ago.
10:37
Yeah, but remember you said you ordered
10:38
something special and it just hadn't
10:40
come yet.
10:41
Well, I have a call in about that.
10:45
Okay.
10:49
Actually, this is for uh Kathy's
10:50
birthday. It's an early edition of her
10:51
favorite book.
10:53
Oh, the Velvetine Rabbit. Oh my god.
10:54
When the boy's love makes the rabbit
10:57
real. Okay, but don't touch it because
10:58
your fingers have destructive oils.
11:00
Well, then you better keep it away from
11:04
Ross' hair.
11:05
So, this is pretty rare. How did you get
11:09
that?
11:10
Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to
11:11
a couple of bookstores, talked to a
11:12
couple of dealers, called a couple of
11:14
the author's grandchildren.
11:16
That's so sweet.
11:20
Yeah. And what a great way to say I
11:21
secretly love you, roommates's
11:22
girlfriend.
11:23
It doesn't say that.
11:26
Does it?
11:29
How do you think it's going to look when
11:30
you get her something incredibly
11:32
meaningful and expensive and her
11:33
boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
11:35
I'd like to toast Ross and Emily. Of
11:39
course, my big toast will be tomorrow at
11:41
the wedding, so this is kind of my
11:42
little toast or or Melba toast, if you
11:44
will.
11:46
Okay.
11:50
I've known Ross for a long time. In
11:52
fact, I knew him when he was going out
11:54
with his first girlfriend, and I thought
11:55
things were really gonna work out for
11:57
him until the day he overinflated her.
11:59
Oh, dear God.
12:05
I'm sure we're all very excited uh that
12:08
Ross and Emily are getting married at
12:11
Montgomery Hall. I mean, to think my
12:12
friend getting married in Monty Hall.
12:14
Oh, come on, Monty Hall. Let's make a
12:17
deal. Come on, you people.
12:19
All right, forget it. Congratulations,
12:22
Wland.
12:24
Hey, best man number two, Joey Triani.
12:29
Now, I'm not good with the jokes like
12:34
Chandler here.
12:35
Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are
12:38
going out to dinner with Ross and Emily,
12:40
and I think that's I think that's really
12:41
cool.
12:43
Yeah, Ra, I think you're handling that
12:44
really well.
12:45
Handling it? What do you mean handling
12:47
it? There's nothing to handle. You know,
12:49
maybe I would have a problem with this
12:51
if it wasn't for me and Joshua.
12:53
You know, they're not going to get
12:56
married anyway.
12:57
What?
12:58
Come on. They rushed into this thing so
12:59
fast. It's ridiculous. I mean, they're
13:01
going to be engaged for like what, a
13:04
year, and somewhere along the way, one
13:06
of them is going to realize what they've
13:08
done, and they're going to call the
13:09
whole thing off. I'm telling you, you're
13:10
going to be dancing at my wedding before
13:12
you're dancing at theirs.
13:13
Yeah. Well, I don't dance at weddings.
13:15
Why not? Because weddings are a great
13:18
place to meet women. And when I dance, I
13:19
look like this.
13:21
[Applause]
13:26
Hey, man. Hey.
13:34
So, what are you guys doing four weeks
13:37
from today?
13:39
Nothing.
13:40
Nothing.
13:40
I am
13:41
free.
13:45
Great. Because Emily and I are getting
13:47
married in a month.
13:49
What?
13:51
What?
13:51
Yep.
13:52
In a month?
13:53
Yeah.
13:54
You mean you mean 30 days?
13:54
Yeah.
13:56
From now?
13:57
Yeah.
13:58
That's great.
14:00
[Music]
14:02
Oh, man. I can't believe I locked myself
14:03
out again.
14:06
Hang on, buddy.
14:08
Oh my god. What happened here? Did you
14:14
do all this?
14:17
I sure did.
14:18
Why?
14:19
Well, I just thought it would make me
14:20
feel good to do something nice for my
14:21
friend.
14:23
You're amazing.
14:24
No, no, no. This is amazing.
14:25
A TV that appears as if from nowhere.
14:31
That's the dream.
14:35
How did you afford all this stuff?
14:37
Uh, you know, I'm 29. I mean, who needs
14:39
a savings account?
14:41
You are the best friend anyone has ever
14:42
had.
14:44
Oh, I don't know. No,
14:46
no, no. You are. You do this. You give
14:48
me the great advice. And hey, listen. I
14:51
was thinking about what you said
14:53
yesterday about focusing on one woman.
14:54
I'm going to do that.
14:56
You mean with Casey?
14:58
No, no, no. I think I'm going to see how
14:59
things go with Kathy. She's pretty cool.
15:01
Or Casey? No. No. Kathy. Could be Casey.
15:03
No. No. Kathy. Consider Casey.
15:06
You know what I think? I think
15:10
somebody's got a little crush on Casey.
15:12
How about I fix you two up? What do you
15:14
think?
15:16
Then all the pieces of my life are
15:17
falling right into place. Funny story, I
15:19
bumped into Joanna on the street
15:21
yesterday.
15:23
My boss Joanna? Well, that must have
15:24
been awkward.
15:26
Well, no, actually, she asked me if I
15:27
wanted to get a drink.
15:29
You uh didn't say yes to that, did you?
15:32
No.
15:36
No.
15:37
Hello, Rachel.
15:38
Well, not at first.
15:44
What is she doing here?
15:47
I don't understand. Last time you went
15:55
out with her, you said she was a big
15:56
dull dud.
15:57
Well, I think I judged her too quickly.
15:58
And this time, we were able to take the
16:00
relationship to the next level.
16:01
Well, last time I almost got fired. You
16:06
must end it. You must end it now.
16:09
Oh, come on. It's not like this is an
16:11
everyday occurrence for me. I mean,
16:12
usually I'm pretty much just in there by
16:14
myself.
16:15
Here, there's a place you can go to rent
16:19
videos of all the museums. It's almost
16:21
as good as being there.
16:24
It's better. You can't go to a museum in
16:26
your underwear.
16:29
Well, you could, but probably just the
16:31
one time.
16:32
I bet we could get videos of all the
16:35
sites, get a VCR in our hotel room. We'd
16:37
never even have to go outside.
16:39
If we do that, we've got to rent Die
16:42
Hard.
16:44
I bet the British version is good.
16:46
Hammered. Okay. There's no way that you
16:50
look like Ross's mother.
16:52
Then why would he say it?
16:54
Because he's crazy. Okay. He came up to
16:55
me earlier and thanked me for my very
16:58
moving performance in Titanic.
16:59
My mother's right. Never going to get
17:05
married.
17:07
You know what that is?
17:08
Who wouldn't want you?
17:10
Please. I'm a single mom with a
17:13
30-year-old son.
17:15
I'm getting married today.
17:21
Morning, Ros.
17:25
I'm getting married today.
17:26
Yeah. You
17:28
think you knew I was here?
17:32
[Music]
17:39
Well, I've I've never done that with you
17:42
before.
17:43
Nope.
17:46
So, uh, how are you? How you how you you
17:47
okay?
17:50
Yeah. Yeah. You
17:52
Oh, yes. Yes. Uh-huh.
17:53
You
17:56
We did you.
17:59
Well,
18:03
I better get going.
18:05
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
18:06
Could you not look?
18:11
I don't want to look.
18:13
Sambuka margarita.
18:16
Are you here?
18:18
Is that a real thing?
18:18
Well, we only had sambuka, so it is now.
18:20
Listen, uh, Joe, I I need to I need to
18:25
talk to you about something.
18:27
What's up?
18:29
It's It's about Kathy.
18:32
Oh. Uh, I like her.
18:35
I like her a lot, actually.
18:38
You do?
18:42
Yeah.
18:43
Well, your timing couldn't be better.
18:44
She's not my girlfriend anymore.
18:47
What?
18:49
Yeah, she broke up with me.
18:50
Oh. Uh, when?
18:52
Just now. After acting class. At first,
18:55
I thought she was doing some kind of
18:58
scene. That's why I let people watch.
18:59
Man, I am so sorry. Are you Are are you
19:03
okay?
19:06
I've been better, but I'm all right. So,
19:07
you like her, huh?
19:10
Yes. But I I I don't have to.
19:11
No, no, no, no. It's uh it's okay.
19:13
Yeah.
19:18
Yeah. You know why? Cuz you came to me
19:19
first.
19:22
Well, I thought that would be the best
19:26
thing to do.
19:27
But
19:30
hey, listen. Just so you know, you might
19:30
have your work cut out for you because
19:31
when I talked to her, I kind of got the
19:33
feeling she's into some other guy. So,
19:35
see, uh, that's that's actually what I
19:39
wanted to talk to you about.
19:41
I I think I know who the other guy is.
19:44
Oh,
19:47
it's me. I'm the other guy.
19:50
What?
19:54
Yeah. I mean, when you were late last
19:56
night, Kathy and I got to talking and
19:58
one thing led to another. And And what?
20:01
Did you sleep with her?
20:06
No. No. No. I just kissed her.
20:07
What? That's even worse.
20:09
How is that worse?
20:12
I don't know, but it's the same.
20:13
Look, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I
20:16
could do. I think I'm in love with her.
20:18
Who cares? You went behind my back. I
20:20
would never do that to you.
20:22
You're right. I have no excuses. cuz I
20:24
was totally over the line.
20:26
Over the line? You You're You're so far
20:27
past the line that you can't even see
20:30
the line. The line is a dot to you.
20:32
Yes. Yes. Right. And I feel horrible.
20:35
You have to believe me.
20:38
Oh my god. Is that why you bought all
20:40
this stuff?
20:42
Well, you know what? I will not watch
20:44
your TV. I will not listen to your
20:47
stereo. And there's a cinnamon raisin
20:50
loaf in the new bread maker that I'm not
20:52
going to eat. You know why? probably
20:54
because
20:56
because it's all tainted with your
20:56
betrayal.
20:58
From now on, this apartment is empty to
21:00
me. I'm not happy about you either.
21:03
Oh, and just so you know,
21:12
I made that bread for you.
21:14
Hello. Hi.
21:24
We'd like to close our accounts.
21:26
Close your accounts? Is there some kind
21:28
of problem?
21:30
No, no, no. We just like to close them.
21:31
Okay. Miss Lambert handles all our
21:35
closures. Would you come over here,
21:38
please?
21:40
Hi, I'm Karen.
21:42
I want to quit the bank.
21:45
So, you didn't leave the bank?
21:51
No. And somehow we ended up with a joint
21:53
checking account.
21:56
What are you ever going to use that for?
21:59
To pay for the gym.
22:01
So much is happening.
22:04
I know. Ross is getting married.
22:05
Phoebe's making people.
22:08
Everybody's doing stuff.
22:11
Yeah, we just sit here. I mean, if I
22:12
died, the only way people would even
22:14
know that I was here would be by the
22:16
aspirant on this chair.
22:17
Look, we have to do something, okay?
22:21
Something huge.
22:22
We could climb Mount Everest.
22:25
No, no, no. Not something stupid.
22:27
Something huge. No, no, no, no, no. I
22:29
saw an ad for this video. People climb
22:31
that thing every day. We could totally
22:33
do that.
22:35
Why not? I mean, it's just it's just
22:36
climbing.
22:38
It's just it's just steep.
22:40
We're going to Everest. Okay. It'd be
22:43
nice to leave an aspirin on Everest.
22:45
Hey.
22:48
Hey.
22:48
What? What's up?
22:49
We're going to climb Mount Everest.
22:50
Yeah, baby.
22:51
Really? I looked into that. Yeah, but I
22:52
mean it costs like $60,000 and you know
22:56
you could die and and you would die.
22:58
We could get that Everest video though.
23:06
Yeah, we could do that without, you
23:09
know, risking our lives at all.
23:10
And while we're down at the video store,
23:13
you know what else? We could rent Die
23:14
Hard.
23:16
But
23:18
you know what? I just remembered that
23:19
Everest thing is only available through
23:20
mail order.
23:22
Oh well.
23:23
So, you guys will stay here and hang out
23:25
with me?
23:26
Yeah.
23:27
Yeah.
23:28
But I'll tell you something. One of
23:30
these days, we're going to get off our
23:31
butts and rent Die Hard again. There we
23:33
are. Don't worry, Dad.
23:36
Where are you going?
23:39
My folks.
23:40
Oh, uh, when you when you coming back?
23:42
I don't know. Might stay there for a few
23:46
days while I look for an apartment.
23:48
What?
23:52
Yeah. You know, uh, at first I thought
23:53
we could talk about this, you know, work
23:55
it out. But, uh, seeing you two
23:56
together, I don't. Uh,
23:58
hey, look. What do you want me to say?
23:59
Do you want me to say that I'll stop
24:01
seeing her?
24:02
It's not about her, okay? But seeing you
24:03
two together just reminds me what you
24:07
did. And I don't want to live with
24:09
someone who doesn't know what it is to
24:11
be a friend. So, I'll see you.
24:13
Hey, look, I know what it is to be a
24:14
friend. I just I screwed up.
24:17
Yeah, you did. And that's why I'm
24:19
leaving.
24:22
All right. Look, if you're not going to
24:24
stay for me, then at least stay for
24:25
them.
24:27
Okay. They have had a very difficult
24:30
year. What? With the robbery and all.
24:32
when that guy was robbing us and I was
24:35
locked in the entertainment unit for
24:36
like 6 hours. Do you know what I was
24:38
doing in there all that time? I was
24:39
thinking about how I let you down.
24:41
Wow.
24:44
Yeah. But if I had known what kind of
24:45
friend you were going to turn out to be,
24:46
I wouldn't have worried about it so
24:48
much. See you around.
24:49
All right. Wait. Come on. Wait. Just
24:50
wait one second. There has to be
24:52
something that I can do. Something. If
24:53
we still had that entertainment unit, I
24:56
would get in there for 6 hours and think
24:57
about how I let you down.
24:59
[Applause]
25:05
We got a box.
25:08
Hey, look at this. They're lighting the
25:12
big Christmas tree tonight.
25:14
Um, that paper's two weeks old.
25:15
All right. Who keeps leaving old
25:19
newspapers in the trash?
25:20
I really wanted to take Kathy to this. I
25:24
can't believe I missed it.
25:26
Hey, you know, at least you have
25:27
somebody to miss that stuff with. Hate
25:28
being alone this time of year. Next
25:31
thing you know, it'll be Valentine's
25:33
Day, then my birthday, then bang, before
25:35
you know it, they're lighting that damn
25:38
tree again.
25:39
I want somebody,
25:41
you know? I want a man.
25:47
I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big
25:54
relationship, you know? Just like a
25:56
sling would be great.
25:58
Really? I didn't think girls ever just
25:59
wanted a fling.
26:00
Well, let me tell you something. It's
26:02
been a long time since I've been flung.
26:03
Well, I know what I'm giving you for
26:08
Christmas.
26:09
You know what? There's some nice guys at
26:14
my office. You want me to set you up?
26:15
Yeah. Wait a minute. It's been a long
26:17
time that I've been single. How come
26:19
you've never offered this before?
26:21
Well, I have a girlfriend. I'm I'm
26:22
happy.
26:24
So, I no longer feel the need to go out
26:25
of my way to stop others from being
26:27
happy.
26:29
Okay. No accountants. Oh, and no one
26:31
from like legal. I don't like guys with
26:35
boring jobs.
26:37
Oh, and Ross was like what? A lion
26:38
tamer.
26:39
Are you ready to party?
26:41
No.
26:45
Gandalf. Gandalf is coming to town.
26:47
Kathy's with her parents. I have nothing
26:49
to do. So, tomorrow we are partying with
26:51
Gandalf. Dude. Dude, we are so gonna
26:53
party.
26:57
Wow. Okay, dude alert.
26:59
And who is this guy?
27:03
Mike Gandalf Ganderson. Only like the
27:05
funnest guy in the world.
27:08
I'm going to call and get off work
27:09
tomorrow.
27:10
I'm going to call after you.
27:12
This is going to be so cool, dude. We
27:14
never party anymore.
27:16
All right. Were you guys smoking
27:20
something in the back of our van?
27:21
Really? And what do you mean we never
27:25
have fun anymore? You have fun with me?
27:26
Remember the time we saw those
27:28
strippers? Then you paid me 50 bucks to
27:29
eat that book.
27:31
Joey, you are going to love this guy.
27:34
Gandalf is like the party wizard.
27:36
Well, why do you call him Gandalf?
27:39
Gandalf the wizard.
27:41
Hello. Didn't you read Lord of the Rings
27:44
in high school?
27:46
No, I had sex in high school.
27:49
Oh, he he can't talk right now.
27:50
Why not? What's going on?
27:54
Well, he's he's trying to show Joey how
27:56
much he means to him.
27:57
By being in a box.
28:00
Joey had reasons.
28:02
They were three-fold.
28:04
Oh, well, uh,
28:08
you not being able to talk might
28:11
actually make this easier.
28:13
Listen, um,
28:16
Listen,
28:26
I don't want to be someone who comes
28:28
between two best friends.
28:31
I just I can't stand seeing what this is
28:34
doing to you guys. And I don't want to
28:37
be the cause of that. So,
28:39
I don't think we can see each other
28:42
anymore.
28:44
I'm going to go to my mom's in Chicago.
28:46
I'm going to stay there for a while.
28:48
I think this could have been something
28:56
really amazing,
28:58
but you know, this is probably for the
29:00
best.
29:03
You know,
29:05
I'm going to miss you.
29:11
Goodbye, Chandler.
29:16
Open the box.
29:28
Buy and wrap all of your Christmas
29:31
gifts.
29:32
No.
29:33
I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
29:34
juice every morning
29:37
with extra pulp.
29:38
Yeah.
29:39
No,
29:40
dude.
29:41
I've got it.
29:45
You don't have it.
29:47
I so got it. There's going to be rumors
29:49
about this. There's no way to stop it.
29:52
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
29:55
How do Monica and Phoebe know?
29:57
Oh, I called them.
29:58
When they ask me what I saw, I can be
30:01
very generous
30:04
or very stingy.
30:08
Go on.
30:12
I could make you a legend.
30:14
I can make you this generation's Milton
30:16
Burl.
30:19
When Milton Burl has
30:21
Oh, not compared to you.
30:22
Hello.
30:30
Hey.
30:31
Hello, Chandler.
30:33
I love you.
30:36
Hey, what's going on?
30:39
Oh,
30:40
no. He doesn't
30:45
2 hours that lasted.
30:49
Hey. Hey.
30:53
I was just at the bank and there was
30:56
this really hot teller and she didn't
30:58
ask me to go do it with her in the
31:00
vault.
31:01
Same kind of thing happened to me. Woman
31:04
pizza delivery guy comes over, gives me
31:06
the pizza, takes the money, and leaves.
31:08
What? No. Like nice apartment. Bet the
31:11
bedrooms are huge.
31:13
Nothing.
31:15
You know what?
31:17
We have to turn off the porn.
31:18
I think you're right.
31:21
Like,
31:24
all right. Ready?
31:25
One, two, three.
31:26
That's kind of nice.
31:33
Yeah, it's kind of a relief. Yeah.
31:36
You want to see if we still have it?
31:45
Yeah.
31:46
Free. We have a free.
31:49
Well, I'm going to put my sweats back
31:51
on.
31:52
Oh, no. Wait. Wait. Okay. You know what?
31:53
You were right. You were right. We
31:54
really weren't great at being guys. But
31:56
do you know why? Because we're girls.
31:57
Yeah.
32:01
Okay. Do you know what girls are really
32:02
good at?
32:03
Stripping.
32:04
No. Listening. Sit.
32:07
You know, maybe just would really really
32:10
help if you would just talk.
32:13
Yeah. Come on. What's going on in there?
32:15
Yeah. You know, if you want to cry.
32:20
That's okay, too.
32:23
Okay. Look, I'm going to have to ask you
32:26
all to leave.
32:27
Come on, Chandler. No,
32:29
look. Forget it. We tried, but phase
32:30
three is a lost cause. Okay, those
32:32
strippers were insanely hot, and I
32:35
couldn't picture myself with any of
32:37
them.
32:38
They really were pretty, weren't they?
32:43
You know, I really like that fighter
32:45
pilot one.
32:47
Oh, Candy. Oh, she was so spunky.
32:48
Yeah.
32:51
You know, I think if I were going to be
32:52
with a woman,
32:53
it it'd be with someone like Michelle.
32:58
She was She was just so petite.
33:00
See, I don't know. For me, it would have
33:03
to be Shantel.
33:04
Oh, Shantel. Oh my god. The
33:06
She had the smoothest skin. I mean, when
33:10
I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string
33:12
and grazed her thigh.
33:14
Phase three.
33:16
I just achieved phase three.
33:18
Really?
33:20
I am totally picturing you with all
33:21
those women.
33:23
That's That's not phase three.
33:25
Well, I'm there, too.
33:27
Well, are we all together like in a
33:30
group?
33:32
Stop it. You're killing me. I think I
33:32
just moved on stage four.
33:35
What is that? What is that?
33:37
Well, I don't want to have a
33:38
relationship ever. I just want to have
33:39
sex with strippers and my friends.
33:41
[Music]
33:45
Lyrics & Translation
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Key Vocabulary
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Key Grammar Structures
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