– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I wanted to start a new family tradition.

In a way, I succeeded.

We now have Phil Un-appreciation Day.

Hear ye, hear ye! - Nope.

I hereby declare the opening of the first annual Dunphy Games.

Hard pass. - Tests of strength.

Games of chance. With the champion receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice

and this gift card to Yogurtland.

Phil, it's not going to happen.

Your dissent has been noted,

town elder, but perhaps those those who've seen fewer winters should cast a vote.

I'm good. Thank you. I appreciate but I'm busy.

Who dares accept the challenge of a noodle-joust?

No sale, Dad.

Oh, well, nice try son. I'll probably just drive back to Florida then.

Great to see you guys.

I just thought with everyone growing up, a new tradition might give us another excuse to get

together every year.

Or, maybe we can get together today for Joe's soccer team party.

We have superheroes coming.

We have the Superman, the X-Men.

That's what Jay called my dad and me.

Ex-men. That hurts.

Why, what happened?

Oh, it's nothing. It's probably just my stilter's hip flaring up.

No it's not.

Oh, you don't look that good. Do you have a fever?

I don't know, I can't tell.

Ay, no, you're burning up.

Hi, I ordered your Ultra-Soft Gel-Heel Socks, and they are both marked "L." And "L" is for, "L" is for large.

Hilarious. I'm thinking I've been wearing two left socks. I'm adorable.

Can you hang on a second? Hello?

Claire, everything is okay, but I am taking Phil to the hospital.

He's dead.

I was just resting my eyes.

Oh, God. What happened?

It's okay, honey, I just have a little bit of stomach pain.

Hang in there, sweetie. I'm coming.

I'll be there.

Really, Schwartzy? Calling me while I'm putting?

It's bush-league moves like that why your wife left you,

why we still play poker and never invite you.

why we, oh, it's Gloria.

Jay, pick up Joe and meet me at the hospital.

What happened? Is it Stella?

No, it's Phil.

Wait a minute. I'm getting another call.

Dad I heard.

Yeah. Okay, Haley and Luke are working at the club.

Can you grab them and meet me at the hospital?

Sure thing. Sorry, guys. Emergency.

Got to take the cart. What?

The clubhouse is 50 yards away.

Walk the first 25. Make camp and then tackle the rest in the morning.

Forget about Joe. I'll have Mitch and Cam bring him.

Phil, how's the pain? On a scale of one to

Bo Derek!

10. Got it. Boy, they did not get that score wrong huh?

Good. Yeah.

Okay.

It's good, but is it wow?

We're inviting eight people over for brunch with an invitation that reads friends, Romans,

hungry men. They're gonna say wow.

Hey, Gloria.

I am taking Phil to the hospital.

What? They're taking Phil to the hospital.

It's just a stomach issue.

Please pick up Joe at soccer and meet us over there.

Of course. Oh, but what about Lily?

What is that, a harp?

No, Dios mio, no! The angels are coming down.

You cannot have him yet.

Hello

Haley. Would you mind picking up Lily from City Kids gym?

I don't have a car. Alex said she's on a date, but she can grab Lily.

Crap. We don't have time for this valet stuff. I'm going rogue.

Luke, this thing's not fast enough. Grab a nine iron trying to hook a bumper.

Hey, Uncle Mitchell, I'm kind of busy right now.

He is? I'm on my way. Sorry, boys.

Gotta cut it short today.

Hurry, hurry! Take him!

If Phil dies would Claire gets a new husband?

He's not gonna die, bud.

But to answer your question, yes, probably. You have to move on with life.

Wow.

Wait for us.

Comin' in hot! Comin' in hot!

You're just gonna park that right there.

I did the closets for head of surgery here. I'm untouchable.

Phil, honey, how are you?

Back in the hospital. But better because of Elsie and her friend IV.

If it's okay, I invited IV to come live with us.

Uh huh. Well, I brought you something that's gonna make you feel so much better.

Oh, Surgery bear. Our first year dating, we went to a carnival at the Milken toss.

There was a bear that Claire really liked.

I spent all night trying to win it, but I just couldn't.

Came back the next night, and the carnival had left town,

so I drove to Fresno. Failed again.

Sacramento. No dice. Six weeks later, in Carson City, Nevada.

It happened when I handed it to her and saw the smile on her face.

I proposed to her on the spot.

Anywho, just come with me to every visit in the hospital since for good luck.

And I was so worried about forgetting it that guess what I did?

You remembered it?

Well, I brought you your nice comfy neck pillow

and I'm gonna run right home and get you Surgery Bear, okay? Okay.

- Dad. - Hi.

Oh, honey. Yeah?

Just in case I made one of my goodbye videos for you and the kids.

I posted it in the usual spot.

Okay.

Goodbye videos?

It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

- Hey, Phil. How you feeling? - Hi!

- Good - Did you tell them

about the long pants?

Oh, yeah. They had to cut me out of them when they,

when they got tangled up in the spokes of the wheelchair.

Well, they gave him the good stuff.

Well, glad you got to wish him well.

We have to get this guy prepped for his gallbladder surgery.

That means they're gonna shave me.

Should we be worried that those could be his last words?

I got this, Phil, we love you.

I love you, too. They're gonna shave me.

Well, we tried.

Oh, no. I'm in heaven.

No, no, you're not. Not yet.

You made it.

And just so you know, Surgery Bear was here and scrubbed in for the whole procedure.

That's pretty dangerous. He's a women's studies professor.

Besides, the only thing I really needed was my neck pillow.

What?

I knew if you didn't have something to keep you busy, you'd worry all day.

Oh, honey, you really do know me.

I'm glad you woke up when you did.

You almost slept through the second Saturday in January.

Why would you put it like that?

Hear ye, hear ye! I hereby declare the opening of the first annual Dunphy Games Hospital Edition.

Test of strength. Chance.

And cunning. Yes!

With the winner receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice.

To our champion, Mitchell!

Yes.

Extinguish the torch. And that concludes the first Dunphy games.

Winter Dunphy Games. We'll see you all again July 9th for the summer.

Take the win, Phil.

Okay.