– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

All right. Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Decaf cappuccino for Joey.

Coffee black

latte

[Laughter]

>> and an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good

at this.

>> Excellent.

>> Good for me.

>> Hey, Toby. Have a good night.

Did that guy just call you Toby?

>> Yeah, he thinks that's my name.

>> Well, why don't you correct him?

>> Oh, it's been going on way too long now.

I mean, the first time he said it, we

were just passing each other in the

hallway, so I didn't say anything. And

then the next time he said, "Hey, Toby,

you want a donut?" And I I wanted a

donut.

And now it's 5 years later, the donut's

gone, and I'm still Toby.

And it was Erns Mulrad who first

hypothesized that the velociaptor, when

threatened, would expand its collar and

emit a high-pitched noise to frighten

off its predator.

>> Yes, Mr. Lewis.

>> What kind of noise?

>> Just a high-pitched intimidating noise.

>> But like how?

Well, we we don't know for sure,

but in my head, it it sounded something

like this. Uh,

[Laughter]

>> of course, this is just conjecture. I've

just been working on this big

presentation for tomorrow.

>> Well, I should be involved in that. So,

why don't you get me up to speed? That's

going to take weeks. Why don't you just

let me take care of the presentation?

>> Oh, no, no, no, no. I see what you're

doing here. All right. Listen, this is

my job, buddy. Okay? I've had it for 5

years and I know how it works. So, why

don't you just catch me up?

>> Fine.

>> Oh, God. I totally messed with the back

support on my chair. How do you fix

this?

>> Hey, you've been here 5 years. You

figure it out.

>> Fine, I will.

All right, fill me in.

>> You go into your room and try these on

and we'll see if we'll get a better idea

of what's going to work.

>> Thanks. You are such a good friend and

this is so weird.

>> Ow.

>> Toothpick.

>> Yeah.

>> What are you trying on now?

>> The fruit roll up. and

>> delicious.

>> Joey,

>> wait a minute. Wait a minute. We have a

winner.

>> What? Which one?

>> The silly buddy.

>> Not so silly anymore.

>> And what's cool is the character is from

Naples, right?

>> Yeah.

>> My whole family's from Naples.

>> That's great. Okay. Well, I've heard

everything I need to hear.

We just need to uh

Leslie.

>> Uh Joey, this is the awkward part.

>> Oh, hey. Right. Not a problem. I totally

understand. You need to, you know, make

sure I don't have any horrible scars or

tattoos. Don't you worry. I have nothing

to hide.

So, there you go.

That's me. 100% natural.

[Music]

>> Good morning, everybody.

>> Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?

>> Oh, no, no, no. I'm an intern just like

you guys, except for the tie, the

briefcase, and the fact that I can rent

a car.

Seriously, you're an intern?

>> Yeah, well, I'm kind of heading in a new

career direction, and you know, you got

to start at the bottom,

>> dude.

>> All right. Look, I know I'm a little bit

older than you guys, but it's not like

I'm Bob Hope,

>> the comedian. Uso.

>> Uh, it's USA, sir.

>> Oh, good. You're here. Okay. Hey.

>> Hi. What you got here?

>> Oh, this. Well, I'm glad you asked.

>> Now, don't you hate it when you have to

cut a tin can with an ordinary steak

knife?

>> Now, I know what you're thinking.

>> Pregnant woman slays four.

>> Evie, they didn't make you pay for those

knives, did they?

>> No.

>> Are you sure?

>> No.

Honey, you're not going to make enough

money to help Frank and Alice just by

selling knives.

>> No, no, I know that. But I'm just need

to make enough money for the second part

of my plan.

>> What's the second part of your plan?

>> My Saturn dealership.

>> Hey, hey,

>> hey, hey.

>> And this from the crime for help

department. Are you wearing makeup?

>> Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially

Joey Tribani, actor/model.

Thank you. That's so funny cuz I was

thinking you look more like Joey Tribani

man/woman.

>> What were you modeling for?

>> Well, you know those posters for the

city free clinic.

>> Oh wow. So you're going to be one of

those healthy healthy healthy guys.

>> You know the asthma guy is really cute.

>> Do you know which one you're going to

be?

>> No, but I hear Lyme disease is open. So

you know,

>> good luck, man. I hope you get it.

Thanks.

>> Whoa. Whoa. The poem is not about you.

>> What?

>> The empty vase is not about you. My baby

Preciosa, you make me so sad that you

would think this.

>> I'm sorry. It's my friend Phoebe.

>> No, it's it's about all women.

>> Well, all American women.

You feel better now?

Oh yeah.

>> Is there a Julio here?

>> I am Julio.

>> Mr. Pretentious.

>> You think there's no one finer? Well,

your poems are unpublished and you work

in a diner. You're no God's gift to

women. That's all in your head.

>> You are just a butt munch.

>> No one likes a butt munch.

>> And you're also bad in bed.

[Music]

Oh my god, that's my boss. You have to

seat us somewhere else.

>> I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's

table.

>> But but but my boss cannot see me. I'm

interviewing for another job.

>> Rachel,

>> I'm on a date.

>> That's great.

>> Yeah, it is. Yeah. You know, it's tough.

Single mom career. You got to get out

there.

>> Well, you've got a good energy.

>> Oh.

Rachel.

>> Yes. Hi,

>> James Campbell.

>> Hi.

>> Hi.

>> Excuse us,

>> please.

>> Okay.

>> Oh, well, he's cute.

>> So,

your resume is quite impressive.

>> My resume I wouldn't I wouldn't call my

my online dating profile a resume.

>> Dating profile? I'm I'm talking about

the work resume. La.

Whatever happened to just singing for no

reason?

>> Maybe people found it weird.

>> So

why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?

>> What? I I don't.

>> You don't?

>> No, I I love I love it there.

>> Well, if you don't want to leave, why

are we having this lunch?

>> What?

You go, boss. Hey.

>> Oh, do you want to talk to Chandler?

>> Is that Joey? Let me talk.

>> No, cuz he didn't believe in my movie.

>> Which is a big mistake because it is

real. Real.

>> Hey, you know what? I've been trying to

apologize to him all week. If he's not

going to let me do it on the phone, I'm

going to go down there. I'm going to do

it in person.

>> Uh, thieves. I heard that. Uh, can you

put him on?

>> Yeah.

>> Hey, don't come out here.

No, no, no, no. I support you 100% and I

want to prove that to you in person.

>> I got that. I forgive you. Don't come

out here.

>> Forgive me. You haven't been taking my

calls for a week.

>> Well, I'm totally over it, Chandler.

Friends forever. Don't come out here.

>> Would you mind doing a picture with us?

>> What was that?

>> Uh, entertainment tonight.

>> Yeah. Okay. So, good talking to you. And

don't come out here. All right.

All right, keep going. We are phasing

the accent out. Phasing it out.

So without retesting their results in

the laboratory,

the team would never have identified

the initial errors in their carbon

dating analysis.

Were there any questions at this point?

Yes.

>> What's happening to your accent?

>> Come again. What's What's this nonsense?

All right. I'm I'm not English.

I'm from Long Island.

I was really nervous and the accent just

um just came out.

Sorry.

So, if we could just get back to the

lecture.

Um,

were there any questions

about paleontology?

All right. Look, I was just trying to

make a good first impression. Obviously,

I screwed up, but what you guys think of

me is really important because I'm I'm

hoping to get a permanent job here. So,

if you just give me another chance to

make a good impression.

>> Ross, are you crazy? I am still your

wife? Or were you just never going to

tell me? What the hell is wrong with

you?

I could just kill you.

>> Well, Rachel,

[Music]

>> so basically this is very easy. You read

from the script and you try to sell as

much toner as you possibly can.

>> Okay, I can do that.

>> Oh, by the way, I'd love my office.

>> Why don't we do a trial run?

>> Oh, okay.

Um,

all right.

Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office

Supplies. Can I speak to your supply

manager, please?

>> I'm the supply manager.

>> Um, okay. I'd like to talk to you about

your toner needs.

>> We don't need any toner.

>> Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry to bother you.

Bye-bye.

Yeah, you're right. This is easy.

>> Okay. What was wrong with that call?

>> Oh, well, all right. Um, no offense, but

you were kind of rude.

>> They're always going to tell you they

don't need toner, but that's okay

because whatever they say, you can find

the answer to it here in the script.

>> Oh.

>> So, I think you're ready to sell toner.

>> Do you have any last question?

>> No.

>> Oh, wait. Yes, I do. I do have one

question. What is toner?

>> The airport, huh? You know that's over

30 miles. That's going to cost you about

so bucks.

>> Excuse me. That's $50 bucks.

>> What?

>> $50.

>> Oh, you know what it is? It's smudgy cuz

they're fax pages. Now, when I was on

Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remor,

they'd send over the whole script on

real paper and everything.

>> That's great. And and and just so you

know, if you wanted to expand this

scene, like like have the cab crash or

something, I could attend to the victims

cuz I have a background in medical

acting.

>> Okay, listen. Thanks for coming in.

>> No, no. Uh don't thank me for coming in.

Uh at least let me finish.

>> Uh we could take the expressway, but uh

this time of day you're better off

taking the budge.

You were going for the word bridge

there, weren't you?

>> I'll have a good day.

>> Hey, Jack.

>> Look at the window. There's my name. Hi,

me.

>> I remember the day I got my first

paycheck. There was a cave-in- in one of

the mines and eight people were killed.

>> Wow. You worked in a mine?

>> I worked in a Dairy Queen mine.

>> God, isn't this exciting? I earned this.

I wiped tables for it. I schemed milk

for it. And it was totally

not worth it.

>> Where's Fica? Why is he getting all my

money?

I mean, what Chandler, look at that.

>> Oh, this is not that bad.

>> Oh, you're fine. Yeah. For a first job,

you can totally totally live on this.

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Hey, by the way, great service to

excellent

is from the semi late Jurassic period.

>> Is it the mastadon from the ply scene

epic?

>> Sh. This is a museum. No talking.

Right down here, we have

a large foot.

Uh, and over here we have Ross Geller.

Everyone wave hi to Ross. Ross is one of

our most important scientists. Look at

him hard at work.

>> Okay,

>> honey. I'm old.

>> What's wrong?

>> I am so much older than these other

interns and I can't I can't compete with

them.

>> But I saw you were a little older. Try

to look at the positive. You have all

this life experience. Yes, but I don't

think life experience is going to help

me with these.

>> Wow.

>> It's like they're on fire.

>> What are they?

>> They're these prototype sneakers, and I

have to come up with ideas on how to

sell them, which I can't do because no

self-respecting adult would ever wear

these.

>> I'll give you $500 for them.

What am I supposed to do with these?

>> Come on. Sneakers are easy. You wear

sneakers all the time.

>> Well, first of all, they're not called

sneakers anymore. Apparently, they're

called kicks or skids. And I think I

heard somebody say slurps.

Here, look. They got these wheels that

pop out from the bottom so you can roll

around because apparently walking is too

much exercise.

Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood

obesity.

Would you help me try to sell these?

>> Okay. Have you considered using a girl

with huge knockers?

>> I don't think that's the kind of thing

they're looking for.

>> Hey, that' work on me.

>> Why do you think I'd buy Mrs.

Butterwarts?

>> You know what? These aren't half bad.

You should suggest something like these

to Ralph Lauren.

>> Okay, first of all, that's stupid. And

second of all, I'm not allowed to talk

to Ralph.

All right.

>> I feel younger already.

>> Yeah, I think I broke my hip.

>> Whose idea was it to put everybody in

the diner on skates?

>> Some idiot customer put a suggestion in

the suggestion box.

>> Oh my god, they took my idea.

>> That was you?

>> Yeah.

>> Okay, there you go.

>> Rachel, I made you a call call.

>> Oh my god.

>> Oh my god. Are you guys okay?

Oh my.

>> May I help you?

>> Yeah. I'm a friend of Rachel Greens.

>> Oh, right. Uh, Dawn.

>> Close. Ron.

Well,

>> uh, what can I do for you?

>> Um, well, I'm here to see if if uh

you'll give Rachel her job back.

>> Ah, did she uh ask you to come here and

do this?

>> Oh, no. But first, I have to get you to

agree. Then we'll see if she wants to

come back.

>> Wow, that is tempting.

>> Look, she loved her job here. And let's

face it, you're not going to find anyone

who did it as well as she did. Isn't

that true?

>> She is good.

>> Oh, I took a shot there.

>> This your son?

>> Yeah. His name is Ross.

>> What?

>> Uh, nothing. It's just it's uh it's

close to Ron.

>> Welcome everybody. Welcome to Amazing

Discovery.

>> Oh. Oh, it's gone again.

>> You guys can please not watch this.

Whatever.

>> Folks, this ever happened to you? You go

in the refrigerator, get a nice glass of

milk, but these darn cartons are so

flinging flanging hard to open.

>> Well, you said it, Mike. I don't

>> There's got to be a better way. And

there is, Kevin.

Can we please turn this off?

>> No way. Kevin,

>> what if I told you that there's a

revolutionary new product that

guarantees you'll never have to open up

milk cartons again? Meet the Milk Master

2000.

>> Are you intrigued?

>> You're flinging flanging right. I am.

>> The first time he's never used this

product before. You're going to see how

easy this is to do. Go ahead.

This works in any milk carton.

>> Wow, it is easy. Now I can have milk

every day.

>> Terry, I I I know that I haven't worked

here very long, but I was wondering, do

you think it would be possible if I got

a $100 advance on my salary?

>> An advance?

>> It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving

with my family. See, every year we go

skiing in Veil. And normally my father

pays for my ticket, but I've sort of

started this whole independent thing,

you know, which is actually why I took

this job.

>> Rachel. Rachel. Sweetheart,

you're a terrible, terrible waitress.

Really, really awful.

>> Okay, I I hear what you're saying. I'm

with you. Um, but but I'm trying really

hard and and I think I'm I'm doing

better. I really do.

>> Does anybody need coffee?

>> Yeah, over here.

>> Yeah, I do.

The

>> hell just happened?

>> I am so so sorry. I was going to do it

really. But then I was standing there

with $327 in one hand and $238 in the

other hand. And I was thinking, "Wow,

it's been a long time since I had

327 plus $238."

>> Joey, we had a deal. That That's why

you're here. I've got to fire you.

>> And I got to pay rent.

Look,

how how about this? You don't fire me.

Instead, I stay here. I gain their trust

and then they'll start listening to all

the nice things I've been saying about

you.

>> Kind of things you've been saying.

>> Well, nothing yet. They really hate you

and I want to fit in.

>> So, you're up for keynote speaker? Yeah.

>> Who's making the decision?

>> Professor Sherman. Yeah. I'm meeting

with him today.

>> Oh, he is a pretty tough guy to impress.

>> Yeah. Well, I think I know how to dazzle

him.

>> Oh, you're not going to do a magic

trick, are you?

>> No.

The data we're receiving from MRI scans

and DNA testing of these fossils are are

staggering.

>> I mean, we've been accepting Leaky's

dates as as a given. But if they're off

by even a 100,000 years or so, then you

can you can just throw most of our

assumptions, you know, right in the

trash.

So, so what I'm saying is is is

that

is that uh reparations

could could be huge. I mean, not just in

in paleontology, but if you think about

it in in evolutionary biology, uh

genetics, uh geology, I mean, truly the

the mind boggles.

Well, that's not what you want.

[Music]

Hello,

>> Joey. Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is

she there?

>> No, she uh she went shopping with

Rachel. Why? What's up?

>> Well, I'm meeting with Professor Sherman

about my being the keynote speaker.

>> Oh, how's it going?

>> It could be better.

>> He um he fell asleep.

>> What? But I already bought my ticket to

Bermuda.

Barbados.

>> Fine, I'll rent the car and drive.

>> Ross, you have to get that job.

>> What am I supposed to do? He's cold. In

fact, he he was just talking in his

sleep before, and evidently, he wants

someone named Fran to spank him harder.

>> Well, just wake him up.

>> I can't. If he realizes that I'm the one

who put him to sleep, I won't get the

job.

>> Oh, that's a tough one. Oh, wait a

minute. This happened to me before.

Yeah. I was auditioning for a play and

the producer fell asleep. I No, wait a

minute. It was me who fell asleep.

>> Yeah. I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how

about a chase scene once in a while?

[Music]

Oh my god. You really want me to be the

keynote speaker?

Thank you.

>> You're welcome.

>> Where's everybody else?

>> I sent them home.

>> Oh, you are such a good boss. Is she

pretty?

>> Uh uh. Answer faster. Answer faster.

>> I don't know.

>> Answer better. Answer better.

I don't think of her that way, you know.

I She's a uh she's a colleague.

>> What does she do there?

>> Oh, she's regional vice president. She's

just below me.

>> She did what?

>> Below me.

>> Oh, wait. Is Wendy the runner up Miss

Oklahoma?

>> What?

>> Well, she she didn't win.

>> All right. Okay. Well, maybe I should

let you and the second prettiest girl in

Oklahoma get back to work.

>> Well, second prettiest that year. I

mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma,

she's probably

>> Oh, Chandler, stop talking.

>> Honey, there's really nothing to worry

about.

>> Okay,

>> I'm serious.

>> Okay.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas, you guys.

>> Merry Christmas.

The wife says, "Hi."

>> Ah, fun conversation.

>> Oh, well, she's just got this weird idea

that uh, you know, just because you and

I are alone that something's going to

happen.

>> Huh? Really?

>> That be so terrible?

>> This is probably the wrong thing to be

worrying about, but you're getting ham

on my only tie.

We should all get dressed up and go to

have champagne at the plaza.

>> Oh, okay.

>> All right.

>> But I I I can't stay too long. I got to

get up early for a commercial audition

tomorrow and I got to look good.

Supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.

>> What?

>> So, when you said get up early, did you

mean 1986?

>> You guys don't think I look 19?

Oh, 19. We thought you said 90.

>> Okay, everybody, let's go. Let's go.

>> Okay.

>> Sup.

Sup, dude.

>> Take whatever you want. Just please

don't hurt me.

>> It's like playing a little PlayStation,

huh?

That's whack.

PlayStation

is whack.

Sup with the whack PlayStation. Sup,

huh?

Come on. Am I 19 or what?

>> Yes. On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being

the dumbest a person can look, you are

definitely 19.

>> Come on, man. Really? How old?

>> Young. You're a manchild. Okay, now go

get changed because everybody's ready.

And please Oh, please keep my underwear.

>> Oh, thanks.

>> Okay,

now I can pass for 19, right?

>> Yes, you can pass for 19.

>> Really?

>> Yes. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

No. Okay. You can play your own age,

which is 31.

>> I'm 30.

>> Joey, you are not. You're 31.

>> Oh crap.

[Music]