– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Okay, it's

ready. Come on. What's ready? Just come.

Oh my god. Wow. Hey, listen. Beautiful.

Oh, did you what? Did you work for two

days straight?

Pretty much.

What What do you think of the floor? I

don't know. It looks the same.

You used to have carpet. Oh, yeah.

So, I I made snacks.

Please just hang out. Okay. I'm I'm just

going to rest my eyes for just a little

bit.

Oh, come on. Do you want us to uh come

back later? Oh, no. No, no. Stay. Stay.

Stay. Just keep

talking. I am always the hostess.

All right. Now, Well, you don't have to

draw an actual wh Whoa. She's hot.

Now, everybody knows the basic

arrogynous zones. You got one, two,

three,

four, five, six, and seven. There are

seven.

Let me see

that. Oh, yeah.

That's one. Kind of an important one.

Oh, you know, you know what? I was

looking at it upside down.

Well, you know, sometimes that helps.

Okay. Now, most guys will hit uh 1, two,

three, and then go to seven and set up

camp.

That That's bad. Well, if you go to

Disneyland, you don't spend the whole

day on the Mad Horn.

Well, you might if we're anything like

seven.

All right. Uh, the important thing is to

take your time. You want to hit them all

and you want to mix them up. You got to

keep them on their toes. Toe toes.

Yeah. For some people.

All

right. You could uh start out with a a

little one, a two, a one, two, three, a

three, a

five, a four, a three, two, two, a two,

four, six, two, four, six, four, two,

two, four,

seven, five, seven, six, seven, seven,

Seven seven

seven seven.

[Laughter]

He's coming here for Thanksgiving. I

know it's sick. Why is it sick? Because

it's Richard's son. It's like inviting a

Greek tragedy over for dinner.

Hey, come on, Phoebe. You understand,

don't you?

Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best

shot, but no.

Sorry, honey. I think it's twisted.

Yeah. What's twisted? Me going out with

Richard's son. Ew.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Sounds like a really bad idea to me.

Is he okay in there? He's fine.

Hey, you know, man, if things work out

between you and Richard's son, you'll be

able to tell your kids that you slept

with her grandfather.

Fine, judge all you want to, but married

a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell

in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a

girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a

box.

[Applause]

All right, there's a nuclear holocaust.

I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go

out with me?

I've got canned goods.

Hey guys, take a look at this. Check

this baby out. Dug me a hole.

Excellent hole, Joe.

Oh, no. No. My hole.

What? What? What is it? Jellyfish sting.

No, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Can we

help? You want us to take you back to

the house? Oh, it's like two miles.

Yeah. And I'm a little tired from

digging the hole.

Damn the jellyfish. Damn all the

jellyfish.

I got to do something. Well, there's

really only one thing you can do. What?

What is it? You're going to have to pee

on it.

What? Rose, don't blame me. I saw it on

the Discovery Channel. You know what?

He's right. There's something like uh

ammonia in that that kills the pain.

Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that

bad.

If you want some privacy, you can use my

hole.

Pass the cheese, please.

My god, you can't even look at me, can

you?

Nope. Yay, it's BB. We can talk to BB.

No, I'm I'm too depressed to talk. I'll

give you $1,000 to talk to us. Hey, you

guys, what do you what do you think

about making that beach trip an annual

thing? No.

All right, that's it, you guys. What

happened out there? What? We took a

walk. Nothing happened. I came back with

nothing all over me.

Come on. What happened, Joey?

All right. No, Joey. We swear we'd never

tell. They'll never understand.

We have to say something. We have to get

it out. It's eating me alive.

Monica got stung by a jellyfish. All

right.

All

right. I got stung.

stung

bad. I couldn't stand I I couldn't walk.

We were two miles from the

house. We were scared and

alone. We didn't think we could make it.

I was in too much pain and I was tired

from digging the huge

hole. And then Joey remembered

something.

I'd seen this thing on the Discovery

Channel. Wait a minute. I saw that on

the Discovery Channel. Yeah. About

jellyfish and how if

you

either I thought I was going to pass out

from the pain. Anyway, I I tried but I I

couldn't been that way.

[Applause]

So, that's right. I stepped up.

She's my friend and she needed

help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of

you.

only uh I

couldn't. I got the stage

fright. I wanted to help, but there was

just too much pressure. So So I uh I

turned to Chandler.

Joy kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do

it. Do it. Do it now."

Sometimes late at night I can still hear

the screaming.

That's cuz sometimes I just do it

through my wall to freak you out.

Gentlemen, you're up first. Okay. Okay,

you have 30

seconds. The lightning round begins.

Stop it.

Now, what was Monica's nickname when she

was a field hockey goalie? Big fat

goalie. Correct.

Rachel claims this is her favorite

movie. Dangerous leaison. Correct. Her

actual favorite movie is Weekend at

Bernie. Correct.

In what part of her body did Monica get

a pencil stuck at age 14?

Who? E.

No. Her

ear. All right. Monica categorizes her

towels. How many categories are there?

Everyday use. Fancy guest. Fancy guest.

Two seconds. No. 11.

11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct. Yes.

All right. That's four for the guys.

Ladies, you're up. All right. Come on.

Oh.

30 seconds on the clock. Five correct

questions wins the game. The lightning

round begins now. What is Joey's

favorite food? Sandwiches. Correct.

Chandler was how old when he first

touched a girl's breast? 14. No, 19.

Thanks, man.

Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.

His name was Maurice. Correct. His

profession was space cowboy. Correct.

What is Chandler Bing's

job? Oh gosh. This has something to do

with numbers and processing. Well, it

carries a briefcase. 10 seconds. You

need this or you lose the game. It's um

it has something to do with

transbonding. Oh. Oh. Oh, he's a trans

trans monster.

That's not even a

word. I can get this. I can get this.

[Applause]

Can't find garbage bags. Oh, well, I

think I saw some in here.

What is it?

I don't know, but maybe if we keep that

drawer shut, it'll die.

We're living here.

What? What? What is it? Did you see the

size of the closets?

I can't believe we live here.

A

Joey, let me ask you a question. This

has been driving me crazy. What does

this light switch do? Oh, nothing. Did

it drive you crazy to have a switch and

not know what it did? I know what it

did. Nothing.

They wouldn't have put it there if it

didn't do something. How can you not

care? Like this.

You done? Yep. Hey. Hey. Hey. What's up?

This switch thing has been driving me

crazy. So, I turned it off and checked

every outlet. Now, four of them don't

work, which means one of them has to be

controlled by the switch. So, I plugged

in things in all four outlets that that

make noise. That way, when I turn it on,

I just follow the noise and find out

which one it is.

I better stop listening before you did.

You know, you you also could have used

uh lamps and then followed the light.

Yeah. Well, I'm using

noise. Okay. All right. So, everybody

ready? Here we go.

Something. I hear something. Where is

it?

It's coming from Joey.

Oh my god, that's so freaky. Turn him

off.

Hi. Hi.

What What are What are these? Oh, just

some pictures I made and hung up.

Thought they brighten up the place. They

do, don't you think?

No, no, no,

no. I I know that there's no hole there.

I just really like that picture.

Oh my god, look at this. Okay, but there

is a wire back there. I mean, that

switch is connected to something. I

don't care. The wires have come loose in

your

head. I just thought if I could follow

the wire, I could find out what it did.

And did you?

No. Disappears back there behind that

baseboard. For a minute there, I thought

it went

downstairs, but it didn't.

Say hello to Mrs. Katraus. Oh my god.

Hello, darling. Hello, Mrs. Katraus.

[Music]

The super couldn't figure out what it

did. The $200 an hour electrician

couldn't figure out what it did.

I've had seven pretty serious

shocks. I officially give up. Thank God.

Guess Joey was

right. Dad's

nothing. I'm doing it. I am totally

doing it.

[Music]

I lost it. What? Your nails? Oh, I know.

I never wear fake ones. I just did it so

my mom wouldn't give me grief about

biting them. Oh, no. I meant It's weird

that you only have nine

now. Oh my god.

Wait a minute. I had him when I put Oh

my god. It's in the kiche.

Oh my god. Okay, don't panic. I'm going

to go to the store. I'm going to get you

another set of nails. No one's going to

know. And you're going to look

great. Oh. Oh, it's cuz they're going to

eat. That's the problem.

Honey, don't bite your

nails. Okay. Uh please don't freak out.

Um, but uh there's a blue fingernail in

in one of the kiche cups and there's no

way to know which

one. And whoever finds it wins the

prize. Was hammered. Okay. There's no

way that you look like Ross's mother.

Then why would he say it? Because he's

crazy. Okay. He came up to me earlier

and thanked me for my very moving

performance in Titanic.

My mother's right. never going to get

married. You know what that

is? Who wouldn't want you?

Please. I'm a single mom with a

30-year-old son.

I'm getting married today.

Morning, Ros. I'm getting married today.

Yeah, you're

think you knew I was here.

[Music]

Well, I've I've never done that with you

before.

Nope.

So, uh, how are you? How you how you you

okay?

Yep. Yep. You Oh, yes. Yes.

Uh-huh. You

We did you.

Well, I better get going. Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

Could you not look? I don't want to

look.

Oh my god. You still have the chipper.

What? That's what we used to call your

uh your motorcycle in high school. You

know, a motorcycle is a chopper and your

chip.

Never mind.

I think it's cute.

Wow. Lipper from the chipper.

So, you still in touch with anyone from

high school? Um, there's Rachel and um I

think that's it. How about you? Oh,

yeah. I still hang with Simmons and

Zana, you know, and I see Spindler a

lot. Lavine, Kelly, and I run into

Goldie from time to time. Stick Browns,

Okov, Maguire, JT Beersley.

Is that all? Ah, you know, after high

school, you just kind of lose touch.

Oh, yeah. I ran into Richard Dorfman.

Oh, how is he? Not so good. Me and

Simmons gave him a wedgie.

Isn't he an architect now? Yeah, they

still wear underwear.

The flight leaves in 4 hours. It could

take time to get a taxi. There could be

traffic. The plane could leave early.

When we get to London, there could be a

line at customs. Come on.

Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of

Monica.

Passport check. Camera check. Travelers

checks check. Who are you saying check

to? Myself. You know, for remembering to

pack the thing, you know, you do a good

thing, you get a

check. My mom does it. I never realized

it was weird. Hey, my mom used to put

her head in the oven. Actually, she only

did it the one time. That it's pretty

weird.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Are you ready yet? Yep.

You got the tickets? Oh, got them right

here. Check.

I am so so sorry. I was going to do it

really. But then I was standing there

with

$327 in one hand and $238 in the other

hand. And I was thinking, "Wow, it's

been a long time since I

had 327 plus $238."

Joey, we had a deal. That That's why

you're here. I've got to fire you. And I

got to pay

rent.

Look, how how about this? You don't fire

me. Instead, I stay here. I gain their

trust and then they'll start listening

to all the nice things I've been saying

about you.

Kind of things you've been saying. Well,

nothing yet. They really hate you and I

want to fit in. I'm not even touching

the lasagna. Really? Oh, they love your

casserole. Yes. It's hard to believe

just a little while ago this was nothing

but ingredients.

Everyone seems to like your

dish. And you? I thought it was

quite tasty.

So, if everyone liked it and you liked

it, that would make this a success,

which would make you a

Well, I was going for wrong, but we can

use your word.

Yes. Well, I was wrong. And I have to

say, you really impressed me today.

Wow. Um, you might even say that she

pulled a Monica.

She doesn't know we switched it. How do

you think the suit would look on an

assistant? The owner of Alisandre came

over here to yell at me, but instead I

made him some sauce and he offered me

the job as head chef. Oh my god, you

just ruined the thing. I was practicing

the whole way home, but I'm so happy.

Can you believe it? I finally get to run

my own kitchen. Oh, you've waited so

long.

Hey, thieves. Quick question for you.

Yeah. How do you think the suit would

look on an assistant buyer at

Bloomingdales?

I don't know. Totally depend on her

coloring. And uh

you got the job. You got the job. Why

didn't you tell me?

Oh, it's going to be so great. I'm going

to get to help decide what we sell and

I'm going to have an office with walls

and everything. I'm going to have walls.

Okay. Is this the day of good news or

what? I got us a job. The wedding

reception.

Oh. Um, BB, I kind of need to talk to

you about that.

Um, well, I I I I think it might be time

for me to take a step back from the

catering, but we've only had one job.

I know, but now we have this second one,

and it just it feels like it's

snowballing, you know?

Yeah. What are you saying?

I got offered the head chef job at

Alessandro's.

What? It's okay cuz you know what? If

you think about it, you don't really

need me for the business. You're the

cook.

Without you, it's just me driving up to

people's houses with empty trays and

asking for money.

All right. But um well, I I'll pay you

back all the money you invested and you

can keep the van. For what?

I can't believe this. Got to get out of

here. Phoebe, wait a minute.

Diamond assistant buyer.

Are we in London?

What are you doing here? You can't be

here. I've uh I've come to talk to Ross.

What?

Nothing. No, nothing. I was going to

call him, but you came to tell him you

love him. I knew it. I was right. I'm

right.

Right. I'd really rather talk to him.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
snacks snæks A1	noun - small portions of food eaten between meals
hostess ˈhoʊstəs A2	noun - a woman who receives or entertains guests
arrogant ˈærəɡənt B1	adjective - having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities
important ɪmˈpɔrτənt A2	adjective - of great significance or value
Disneyland ˈdɪzniˌlænd A1	noun - a large theme park based on Disney characters and movies
Thanksgiving ˌθæŋksˈɡɪvɪŋ A2	noun - a national holiday in the United States and Canada celebrating the harvest and other blessings of the past year
twisted ˈtwɪstɪd B1	adjective - mentally or emotionally disturbed; perverse
holocaust ˈhoʊəˌkɔst B2	noun - a great destruction or sacrifice of life, especially by fire
jellyfish ˈdʒɛliˌfɪʃ A2	noun - a marine animal with a gelatinous umbrella-shaped body and stinging tentacles
ammonia əˈmoʊniə B2	noun - a colorless, pungent gas composed of nitrogen and hydrogen
privacy ˈpraɪvəsi A2	noun - the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people
annual ˈænjuəl A2	adjective - occurring once every year
catering ˈkeɪtərɪŋ B1	noun - the business of providing food services for events
snowballing ˈsnoʊˌbɔlɪŋ B2	verb - to increase rapidly in size or scope
chef ʃɛf A1	noun - a professional cook, typically the chief cook in a restaurant
assistant əˈsɪstənt A2	noun - a person who helps another, typically in an office or other workplace
Bloomingdales ˈblʊmɪŋdeɪlz A1	noun - a well-known department store chain in the United States
office ˈɒfɪs A1	noun - a room or building where people work, typically with desks and computers
wedding ˈwɛdɪŋ A1	noun - a ceremony in which two people are married
reception rɪˈsɛpʃən A2	noun - a formal party held after a wedding ceremony
diamond ˈdaɪəmənd A1	noun - a precious stone consisting of a clear and colorless crystalline form of pure carbon