look maybe we should go no you guys you
00:00
really don't have to go we're done
00:02
talking come on look I know how you must
00:03
no you don't Ross
00:05
imagine the worst things you think about
00:08
yourself now how would you feel if the
00:11
one person that you trusted the most in
00:13
the world not only thinks them too but
00:16
actually uses them as reasons not to be
00:19
with you no but but so I want to be with
00:22
you in spite of all those
00:25
things oh well that's That's mighty big
00:27
of You Were Us I said don't
00:30
go you know what you know what if if
00:34
things were the other way around there
00:38
was nothing you could put on a list that
00:40
would that would ever make me not want
00:42
to be with you well then I guess that's
00:44
the difference between us see I'd never
00:47
make a
00:49
[Music]
00:52
list guys there's uh somebody I'd like
00:56
you to meet
00:59
[Music]
01:01
wait wait what is that that would be
01:03
Marcel you want to say hi no no I don't
01:06
oh he is precious where did you get him
01:08
my friend bethl rescued him from some
01:11
lab that is so cruel why why would a
01:12
parent named their child
01:16
[Laughter]
01:17
bethl hey that monkey's got a Ross on
01:20
his
01:22
[Laughter]
01:23
ass Ross is he going to live with you
01:27
like in your apartment yeah I mean it's
01:30
been kind of quiet since Carol left so
01:33
why don't you just get a roommate uh I
01:35
don't know I think you reach a certain
01:37
age having a roommate is just kind of
01:38
pathetic sorry that's that's pathet
01:43
which is sanskrit for a really cool way
01:46
to
01:48
[Music]
01:48
live hey hello sir you here to return
01:50
those pants
01:54
no these are my
02:01
pants oh
02:03
okay how can I help you well um do you
02:06
have a Santa outfit left two days before
02:09
Christmas sorry man okay look do do you
02:12
have anything uh Christmasy I promis my
02:15
son and I I really don't want to
02:18
disappoint him um come on I you got to
02:20
have
02:23
something I'm the holiday armadillo
02:24
I'm a friend of Santa and he sent me
02:30
here to wish you a Merry
02:34
Christmas what happened to Santa holiday
02:38
armadillo Santa was unavailable so close
02:43
to
02:48
Christmas oh come in have a seat you
02:50
must be exhausted coming all the way
02:52
from Texas
02:54
Texas that's right Ben I'm Santa's
03:00
representative for all the Southern
03:03
States and
03:07
Mexico what's
03:10
up you know oh my
03:14
God what happened to your teeth I
03:18
whitened
03:21
them
03:24
really yeah what do you think well I
03:26
think I shouldn't look directly at
03:29
them come on
03:31
seriously they really really really
03:35
white yeah what was wrong with your old
03:38
human
03:41
teeth I I did leave the gel on a little
03:43
longer than it said to how much longer
03:46
uh a
03:48
day FR you know that tonight is your
03:50
date with Hillary I know that's why I
03:53
did it come on are they really that
03:55
bad no no no no you you'll be fine
03:58
Hillary's blind
04:01
right she will be after
04:03
tonight well hey hey ra uh do you notice
04:08
anything yeah your teeth yes I saw them
04:10
from
04:12
outside okay maybe this will make your
04:17
teeth look less
04:18
white
04:24
nope no okay so uh colors that don't
04:25
work are blue blue yellow green red
04:28
black white orange and
04:31
purple I don't know what I'm going to do
04:34
the date starts in like an
04:36
hour hey Ross maybe if your skin was
04:38
lighter your teeth wouldn't look so
04:41
bright oh great so all I need to do is
04:43
get some new skin thank
04:45
you just saying put just a little bit of
04:47
makeup on you who whoa whoo we're not 13
04:51
anymore Ross this is the only thing left
04:57
that has a shot at working but won't she
04:59
notice I have makeup on please half the
05:01
guys out there have makeup on
05:03
what right half the people I mean we
05:06
just try it and see no I am not putting
05:09
on
05:12
makeup hello oh good Ross could you put
05:13
up some of these flyers for me no Damon
05:16
Damon you make me
05:19
laugh would you like to move over to the
05:22
couch mhm
05:25
maybe I'll just turn down the lights a
05:32
little how about all the
05:34
way
05:36
okay wow cool poster or should I say gy
05:45
poster so
05:52
uh where were we
05:54
[Applause]
05:59
are those your teeth
06:02
oh you you can see them huh yes they're
06:06
insanely white I I did that for
06:10
you what's the matter with you what's
06:15
the matter with me you've got a black
06:19
light It's
06:21
1999 miss
06:22
it
06:28
Rachel I I want you to know that if it's
06:30
positive we're going to oh I know I know
06:34
do it's
06:40
negative what it's
06:43
negative
06:46
oh
06:49
oh well there you
06:54
go pH
06:57
that is that's great that is really
07:02
great great
07:04
news you know cuz the
07:09
whole H not being ready and kind of
07:12
financial aspects all
07:15
that how this is so just the way this
07:19
was supposed to
07:22
be well then great
07:26
it's SC is so
07:33
stupid how can I be upset over something
07:37
I never
07:40
had it's
07:41
negative now it's
07:43
positive what it's it's not negative
07:51
it's
07:54
positive are you sure well yeah I lied
07:55
before
07:58
oh my God now you know how you really
08:02
feel about it oh that's a risky little
08:05
game are you really going to do
08:11
this yeah I'm going to have a
08:15
baby I'm going to have a
08:20
baby I'm have a baby
08:22
[Applause]
08:26
with who no still got the
08:31
time I'm so sorry you guys I didn't mean
08:39
to bring you down no you were
08:43
right I don't have a
08:46
plan Pizza Guy than
08:51
God bab what do you have a plan
08:54
I don't even have a
09:00
PL Rachel Ready or Not Here Comes Your
09:01
night and shiny oh no
09:04
bye oh dear Jack how do I turn this off
09:13
press the button which one which button
09:17
Jack the button the
09:20
button I can't believe you did
09:23
that yeah well
09:26
see he's her
09:52
Lobster fine you can have the bath but I
09:54
am taking your boat now you're just a
09:57
girl in a
09:59
tub hey hi bubbles
10:03
manly well I just thought I would drop
10:07
by and let you know how I went with Joey
10:09
you told
10:10
her she pulled it out of me she's like a
10:12
conversational
10:15
wizard how did it go well you were wrong
10:17
he doesn't like me what yeah how would
10:20
you like it if I sent you to Lee Major's
10:22
house and I told you that he liked you
10:25
and you went down there and you found
10:26
out that he didn't like you how would
10:28
you feel
10:29
feel I don't think I'd care really Lee
10:33
major is
10:35
hot hello we're in the
10:38
bathroom why because it's a relaxing and
10:42
enjoyable
10:45
time what are you guys doing in
10:49
here oh my God a friend he's looking at
10:51
differently but it's wrong it's Rachel
10:56
you like Rachel he look it's no big deal
11:00
okay Phoebe and I talked about it it's
11:03
just a crush it's going to go away dude
11:04
you got to rearrange your bubbles
11:06
whoa m
11:10
t hey hiy Ross and I were looking for
11:14
you what are we all doing in
11:18
here oh
11:21
my honey cover it up with the
11:24
boat Cab's ready all right let's go
11:27
you're welcome oh I'm sorry were you
11:31
speaking to me or sleeping with someone
11:33
else we were on a break you know Ross
11:36
why don't you just put that on your
11:39
answering machine hey hey it's valid
11:41
okay and I'm not the only one who thinks
11:43
so monicaa agrees with me
11:44
what I don't
11:48
know hi it's me oh my God
11:51
Janice you called
12:00
Janice yes Janice why is that so
12:03
difficult for you to comprehend you
12:06
remember Janice
12:08
right yes she was smart she was pretty
12:10
and she honestly cared about me Janice
12:14
is my last chance to have
12:17
somebody
12:19
hello oh my God
12:24
jeez look how fat she
12:30
got hey it's
12:32
[Music]
12:35
everybody Janice you're yes I
12:36
am is it is it yours ha You Wish
12:41
Chandler
12:44
Bing you are looking at a married lady
12:46
now oh
12:50
yes
12:54
congratulations a sweetie I'm sorry you
12:56
couldn't have told me about this over
13:00
the phone and what miss the expression
13:01
on your face oh no Janice likes to have
13:03
her
13:06
fun let's do it Ross what want to play
13:08
football um Monica and I aren't supposed
13:13
to play
13:16
football says who your
13:18
mom
13:21
yes well every Thanksgiving um we used
13:25
to have a touch football game called the
13:28
the Geller ball no no no you say that
13:30
proudly anyway Ross and I were always
13:34
captains and um it got kind of
13:36
competitive and one year Gill Bowl six I
13:39
accidentally broke Ross's
13:43
nose it was so not an accident she saw I
13:46
was about to tag her so she threw a big
13:50
fat grandma arm elbow in my face just
13:52
kept running to score the winning
13:55
touchdown by way who ho ho ho uh you did
13:58
not win the game the touchdown didn't
14:01
count because of the spectacularly
14:03
illegal oh and by the way Savage nose
14:06
breaking I won the game oh yeah then how
14:09
come you didn't get the Galler
14:13
cup there was a Geller
14:16
cup yes it was the trophy you got if you
14:18
won the game but our dad said nobody won
14:21
that game and he was sick of our
14:24
fighting so we took the trophy
14:25
threw it in the
14:34
lake and was the curse
14:36
lifted
14:40
anyway that's when Mom said we were not
14:42
allowed to play football again you know
14:44
what I think we should play a game I
14:47
mean come on it's been 12 years can I
14:50
see you for a second
14:53
what all right we're going to play
14:59
[Music]
15:04
okay please be careful with that it was
15:52
my grandmother's be careful thank you um
15:53
if that falls off the truck it wouldn't
15:57
be the worst
15:59
thing
16:09
wow I
16:12
know seems smaller
16:14
somehow has it always been
16:18
purple look around you guys this was
16:24
your first home
16:27
and it was a happy place filled with
16:30
love and
16:33
laughter but more important because of
16:35
rent control it was a Fring
16:38
steel hey do you realize that at one
16:44
time or another we all lived in this
16:47
apartment oh yeah that's true uh I
16:50
haven't wait what about that summer
16:55
during college that you with Grandma and
16:57
you tried to make it as a
17:00
dancer do you realize we almost made it
17:06
10 years without that coming
17:08
up oh honey I forgot I promised triger
17:14
that we'd leave our keys oh okay
17:17
so I guess this is it yeah
17:55
I guess
18:00
so this is harder than I thought it
18:02
would
18:04
be it's going to be
18:05
okay
18:10
okay well do you guys have to go to the
18:18
new house right away or do you have some
18:21
time we got some time okay should we get
18:26
some coffee
18:29
sure
18:33
where oh my
18:39
[Applause]
18:45
God
18:47
Chandler in all my
18:50
life I never thought I would be so lucky
18:52
is to fall in love with my
19:00
best my
19:04
best there's a reason why girls don't do
19:06
this okay okay I'll do it I
19:09
thought I can do
19:18
this I thought that it mattered what I
19:23
said or where I said
19:27
it then I
19:30
realized the only thing that matters is
19:33
that
19:35
you you make me happier than I ever
19:39
thought I could
19:44
be and if you let
19:47
me I will spend the rest of my life
19:50
trying to make you feel the same way
19:52
Monica will you marry
20:06
me
20:10
[Applause]
20:15
yes I knew you were likely to take a
20:25
wife
20:28
can we come in yet we're dying out
20:32
here come in come
20:34
in we're
20:38
engag this is the least jealous I've
20:46
ever
20:49
been oh no wait no this is wrong Ross
20:50
isn't here
20:53
oh oh hell he's done this three times
20:55
she knows what it's about
20:58
[Music]
21:00
okay what is that I think it's the dying
21:08
cat
21:12
parade sounds like it's coming from
21:14
across the
21:16
street oh my
21:18
God what know that thing that Ross was
21:20
going to do at our wedding he was
21:23
hanging out with me yesterday and he
21:25
turned to me and he said you're half
21:26
Scottish right
21:27
no there is no way to not be
21:29
[Music]
21:32
Rock
21:39
unbelievable why is your family
21:41
Scottish why is your family
21:44
Ross you cannot play at our wedding I
21:48
mean everyone will leave I mean come on
21:51
that is just
21:53
noise it's not even a song
21:55
listen very carefully I
21:59
think it's Celebration by cool in the
22:01
[Music]
22:06
game well I feel like a snack do you
22:09
want some shortbread it's Scottish like
22:12
you
22:14
are oh no thanks I don't like anything
22:16
from my Scottish Heritage
22:19
what watch just my entire family was run
22:22
out of Scotland by
22:25
Vikings well it sounds to me like your
22:30
family is ready to uh ReDiscover its
22:32
Scottish Roots you can't play bag pipes
22:34
at the
22:36
wedding how did you know about that we
22:39
heard you play all the way from your
22:41
apartment were you the ones who called
22:43
the
22:44
cops that's not really important right
22:46
now what is important is while we
22:49
appreciate the gesture we just don't
22:51
feel that bag pipes are appropriate for
22:54
our wedding one not because we hate them
22:57
just just give me a chance to perform
23:01
for you and then decide whatever you
23:03
want and I'm not going to tell you what
23:05
song I'm going to play either but uh
23:07
let's just say when it's over I'll bet
23:10
there'll be a wee bitto
23:12
celebration remember I'm I'm still
23:18
learning
23:20
[Music]
23:22
1 2 3
23:31
[Music]
23:33
[Applause]
23:36
[Music]
23:48
4 You know the song sing along
23:50
[Music]
23:56
[Applause]
23:58
[Music]
24:01
[Applause]
24:01
[Music]
24:04
[Applause]
24:05
[Music]
24:06
so
24:12
[Music]
24:14
no what next blow a bubble a bubble's
24:15
good it's got a uh boyish charm it's
24:19
impish here we go
24:23
nice going imp okay okay it's okay all I
24:37
need to do is reach over and put it back
24:41
in my
24:44
mouth good save we're back on track and
24:47
I'm chewing someone else's
24:51
gum this is not my gum oh oh my God oh
24:56
my
24:59
God and now you're
25:00
choking are you all
25:04
right oh my God you're
25:07
choking
25:14
better yes thank you that
25:16
was that was
25:20
Perfection right gentlemen you're up
25:23
first okay okay you have 30 30
25:25
seconds the lightning round begins stop
25:30
it now what was Monica's nickname when
25:35
she was a field hockey goalie big fat
25:38
goalie
25:40
correct Rachel claims this is her
25:43
favorite movie dangerously ason correct
25:46
her actual favorite movie is weend to
25:48
Bernie
25:50
correct in what part of her body did
25:52
Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14 oh
25:54
e
26:02
no her
26:04
ear all right Monica categorizes her
26:08
towels how many categories are there
26:11
everyday use fancy guest fancy guest two
26:14
seconds no
26:17
11 11 unbelievable 11 is
26:19
[Applause]
26:22
correct all right that's four for the
26:26
guys ladies you're up come
26:29
on 30 seconds on the clock five correct
26:35
questions wins the game the lightning
26:39
round begins now what is Joey's favorite
26:41
food sandwiches correct Chandler was how
26:44
old when he first touched a girl's
26:47
breast 14 No 19 thanks
26:48
man Joey had an imaginary childhood
26:51
friend his name wasu correct his
26:54
profession was space Cowboy
26:56
correct what is Chandler Bing's
27:00
job oh gosh this has something to do
27:06
with numbers and processing it carries a
27:09
briefcase 10 seconds you need this or
27:11
you lose the game it's um has something
27:13
to do with transponding oh oh oh he a
27:15
trans
27:17
transfer that's not even a
27:21
word I can get this I can get this
27:24
oh
27:35
hi this guy says hello I want to kill
27:38
myself are you okay sweetie I just feel
27:41
like someone reached down my throat
27:44
grabbed my small intestine pulled it out
27:46
of my mouth and tied it around my neck
27:48
cookie Carol moved her stuff out
27:53
today let me get you some coffee thanks
27:55
no oh no no don't stop cleansing my
28:03
aura don't just leave my aura alone
28:07
okay I'll be fine all right really
28:11
everyone I hope she'll be very happy no
28:13
you don't no I don't to hell with her
28:15
she left
28:17
me and you never knew she was a
28:18
lesbian no okay why does everyone keep
28:24
fixating on
28:29
that she didn't know how should I
28:31
know sometimes I wish I was a
28:36
lesbian did I say that out
28:40
loud all right Ross look you're feeling
28:44
a lot of pain right now you're angry
28:48
you're hurting can I tell you what the
28:50
answer is strip joints
28:53
come on you're single have some hormones
28:58
see but I don't want to be single okay I
29:00
just I just I just want to be married
29:03
again and I just want a million dollars
29:09
I mean my mom never thought this would
29:13
work
29:15
out she was all once a cheater always a
29:17
cheater mhm oh I just wish we hadn't
29:22
lost those four months
29:26
but if time was what you needed just to
29:29
gain a little
29:31
perspective we were on the
29:34
break coffee house you bet and for the
29:38
record it took two people to break up
29:42
this relationship yeah you and that girl
29:45
from the copy place which yesterday you
29:47
took full responsibility for I didn't
29:50
know what I was taking responsibility
29:52
for okay I didn't finish the whole
29:53
letter what I fell as asleep you fell
29:56
asleep it was 5:30 in the morning and
30:01
you had rambled on for 18
30:05
Pages front and
30:10
back oh oh oh and by the way y u
30:13
apostrophe r e means you are y r means
30:17
you're you know I can't believe I even
30:22
thought of getting back together with
30:24
you we are so over
30:26
fine by
30:30
me oh hey hey hey those little spelling
30:32
tips will come in handy when you're at
30:34
home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble
30:36
with Monica hey
30:38
sorry I just feel bad about all that
30:40
sleep you're going to miss wishing you
30:43
were with me oh no no don't you worry
30:44
about me falling asleep I still have
30:46
your
30:49
[Music]
30:52
letter okay then what happened oh
30:54
oh uh-huh
30:59
uh-huh you'll get your
31:02
turn than what's going on nothing this
31:04
is not
31:08
[Music]
31:10
over put your 20 bucks down okay first
31:12
want to find the tasty treat wins okay
31:15
mhm all right let's get the contestants
31:17
out of their isolation
31:20
booths and they're
31:22
off get your fot off my contestant judge
31:25
judge rules no violation
31:28
oh hey guys yeah
31:32
hey you know what it's so weird to say
31:34
this but I just had a great date with
31:37
Janice what are you serious yeah I
31:39
opened up to her about all the terrible
31:43
stuff that's been happening to me I mean
31:45
I talked for hours it is amazing to have
31:47
someone give you such such focused
31:51
attention you don't need Janice for that
31:53
you've got us the gets a nut butter
31:56
no hey hey that's not a nut butter
31:59
that's just an old wanton no judge rules
32:02
Nutter butter oh tough call
32:05
[Music]
32:09
yeah
32:12
hello
32:16
hello
32:20
Bab Joey what's going on
32:21
[Laughter]
32:26
oh my God I know it's
32:28
stuck step how did he get on I put it on
32:34
to scare
32:38
Chandler oh my God Monica's going to
32:39
totally freak out well then help me get
32:42
it off plus it smells really bad in here
32:45
of course it smells really bad you have
32:49
your head up a dead
32:51
animal oh
32:54
[Laughter]
32:57
hey you get the turkey oh my God oh my
33:03
God who is that it's
33:07
Joey what what are you doing and is this
33:10
supposed to be funny no it's not
33:13
supposed to be funny it's supposed to be
33:15
scary get that off now I can't it's
33:18
stuck I don't care that that turkey has
33:21
to feed 20 people at my parents house
33:23
and they're not going to eat it off your
33:25
head
33:26
hold on okay let's just I'll
33:28
think okay I got it B all right you pull
33:35
I'm going to spread the legs as wide as
33:40
I
33:41
can Joey no it's not the time sorry guys
33:44
okay count to three one two
33:48
three it work
33:56
I scared you I knew
33:58
it I'm over here big guy yeah you are so
34:01
did you do it yes yes we had the
34:05
sex uhoh it was bad it was fine you know
34:09
but she didn't agree with me as strongly
34:12
as she agreed with
34:15
Joey she was more like uh I see your
34:17
point I'm all right with
34:20
it it was the first time you know
34:22
there's not always a lot of agreement
34:25
the first time yeah not for girls anyway
34:26
guys agree like
34:29
that look you have to help me okay I
34:31
mean I know what to do with a woman you
34:35
know I know where everything goes it's
34:37
always nice but I need to know what
34:39
makes it go from nice to my God
34:42
somebody's killing her in
34:45
there all right I'm going to show you
34:47
something a lot of guys don't know ready
34:49
turn me that pad
34:50
please all right now well you don't have
34:52
to draw an actual whoa she's
34:57
hot now everybody knows the basic arajin
35:00
Zone you got one two three
35:03
four five six and seven there are
35:07
seven let me see
35:13
that oh
35:15
yeah that's
35:19
one kind of an important
35:21
one oh you know you know what I was
35:23
looking at it upside down
35:25
well you know sometimes that
35:30
helps okay now most guys will hit uh one
35:36
two three and then go to seven and set
35:40
up
35:41
camp that that's bad well if you go to
35:43
Disneyland you don't spend the whole day
35:46
on the mat
35:48
horn well you might if we were anything
35:49
like
35:51
seven all right uh the important thing
35:53
is to take your time you want to hit
35:57
them all and you want to mix them up you
35:59
got to keep them on their toes oh
36:02
toes yeah for some
36:09
people all
36:12
right you could uh start out with a a
36:13
little one a two a one two three a
36:17
three a
36:23
five a four
36:25
a 32 two a 2
36:28
46 2 46 4 2
36:31
2 4
36:37
S 5 S 67 7
36:39
seven s seven s s s seven
36:45
seven hi hey I hear that you and Joshua
36:54
are going out to dinner with Ross and
36:58
Emily and I think that's I think that's
36:59
really cool yeah ra I think you're
37:01
handling that really
37:03
well handling it what do you mean
37:04
handling it there's nothing to handle
37:07
you know maybe I would have a problem
37:09
with this if it wasn't for me and
37:10
Joshua you know they're not going to get
37:13
married
37:15
anyway what come on they rushed into
37:16
this thing so fast it's ridiculous I
37:19
mean they're going to be engaged for
37:21
like what a year somewhere along the way
37:22
one of them is going to realize what
37:25
they've done done and they're going to
37:27
call the whole thing off I'm telling you
37:28
you're going to be dancing at my wedding
37:30
before you're dancing at theirs yeah
37:31
well I don't dance at
37:33
weddings why not because weddings are a
37:35
great place to meet women and when I
37:37
dance I look like
37:38
[Applause]
37:44
this hey man
37:51
hey hey hey what have you guys been up
37:55
to oh we went to a self-defense class
37:57
today wow yeah kicking a guy in the
38:00
crotch all morning really takes it out
38:02
of
38:03
you takes it out of
38:04
you now now we can kick anybody's ass
38:08
after one class I don't think so what
38:11
you want to see me self-defend myself go
38:15
over there and pretend you're a sexual
38:17
predator go on I dare
38:18
you of course you could defend yourself
38:21
from an attack you know is coming that's
38:23
not enough
38:26
look I studied karate for a long
38:28
time and there's a concept you should
38:31
really be familiar with it's what the
38:34
Japanese call
38:36
unagi isn't that a kind of
38:41
sushi no it's a concept yeah it is it is
38:44
it's freshwater
38:47
eel all right maybe it means that too oh
38:48
I would kill for a salmon skin roll
38:51
right
38:53
now no fine get attacked I don't
38:55
care come on Ross we're sorry please
38:58
tell us what it
39:01
is unagi is a state of total
39:04
awareness okay only by achieving true
39:09
unagi can you be prepared for any danger
39:12
that may befall
39:15
you you mean in case someone's trying to
39:17
steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your
39:20
kettle of
39:21
fish all I'm saying is it's one thing
39:26
being prepared for an attack against
39:29
like each other whole another story
39:30
being prepared for an attack I don't
39:33
know
39:34
surprise all right you knew that was
39:43
coming but that doesn't mean you have
39:45
unagi oh you know what if we made
39:52
reservations we could have unagi in
39:54
about a half hour
39:55
[Music]
39:58
[Laughter]
40:05
what the hell was that a lesson in the
40:10
importance of
40:13
unagi you're a
40:18
freak
40:21
perhaps now I'm curious at what point
40:23
during those girlish screams would you
40:26
have begun to kick my
40:28
ass all right so we weren
40:32
prepared I'm sorry I had to take such
40:36
drastic measures to make my point but I
40:39
look I just want you guys to be
40:41
safe
40:44
danger
40:50
ahuh unagi
40:52
[Music]
40:59
[Applause]
41:00
[Laughter]
41:05
[Applause]
41:07
danger
41:10
ah Salmon skin
41:12
[Music]
41:17
roll yeah say Jack yeah Alex TR back oh
41:19
of course Chuck willery definitely
41:23
Phoebe you will will not find a single
41:26
game show host whose ass I cannot
41:29
kick
41:39
no say it say we
41:40
arei it's not something you are it's
41:44
something you
41:47
have say it you know what I could easily
41:49
get out of this but there's a chance you
41:52
could get very very hurt
41:54
oh uhhuh nowhere to
42:03
run I don't like sitting up here I'm I'm
42:09
going to go over Rachel they got here
42:12
first why is Ross doing that danger oh
42:23
my God God why is he jumping on those
42:26
women we should help
42:31
them I I don't think they need any
42:34
help get out of here can you st
42:45
look at
42:59
[Music]
43:08
meat oh my God I know
43:24
I sound
43:27
amazing obviously
43:34
[Music]
43:38
faat I've I've I've never heard myself
43:45
sing before I mean except in my own
43:47
head this is so cool now I can hear what
43:50
you
43:53
hear pretty uh pretty different
43:55
huh I am sorry but I'm incredibly
43:58
[Music]
44:04
talented was hammered okay there's no
44:08
way that you look like Ross's
44:11
mother then why would he say it because
44:13
he's crazy okay he came up to me earlier
44:16
and thanked me for my very moving
44:18
performance in
44:20
Titanic my mother's right never going to
44:23
get get married you know what that
44:26
is who wouldn't want
44:29
you please I'm a single mom with a
44:32
30-year-old
44:34
son I'm getting married
44:40
[Music]
44:42
today morning Ross I'm getting married
44:44
today yeah
44:47
yooh you think you knew I was here
44:51
[Applause]
44:55
[Music]
45:00
well I've I've never done that with you
45:02
before nope so uh how are you how you
45:05
how you you
45:09
okay yeah yeah you oh yes yes
45:11
uh-huh
45:15
you we did
45:18
you
45:22
well I better get going AB
45:24
absolutely could you not look I don't
45:30
want to
45:33
look hi hi hi um I think there's
45:41
something that we really need to talk
45:47
about I think we
45:49
do why don't we go inside
45:51
look
46:00
uh I know why you're here you do yeah
46:02
and to save you from any embarrassment
46:06
um I think maybe I should talk
46:08
first okay
46:10
okay Ross and
46:21
Rachel Rachel and Ross
46:24
that's been one heck of a seesaw hasn't
46:29
it
46:33
what I mean look that that one night we
46:35
had was fun and and certainly passionate
46:38
but don't you think it's better if we
46:42
just stay
46:44
friends seriously
46:47
what okay okay you know what if you want
46:51
to
46:55
we can do it one more
46:57
time I mean I I'd be okay with that in
47:01
fact I have some time right now okay you
47:05
know what can I can I talk now oh sure
47:07
okay I'm
47:17
pregnant Ross
47:23
R okay whenever you're
47:32
[Laughter]
47:36
ready and you're the father by the way
47:42
but you
47:44
[Laughter]
47:46
got can I get you some water I'm good
47:49
I'm
47:52
good Ross there is no pressure on you
47:53
okay I mean you can be as involved as
47:57
you
47:59
want yeah I uh I'm just I don't know I
48:03
don't
48:08
understand um how this
48:10
happened we we used the condom I know I
48:16
know but you know condoms only work like
48:20
97% of the time what what
48:23
what well they should put that on the
48:31
box they do no they
48:37
[Laughter]
48:41
don't well they should put it in huge
48:46
block
48:49
letters Okay Ross come on let's just
48:50
forget about the condoms oh well I may
48:53
as well have
48:55
listen you know what I was really
48:59
freaked out too when I found out hey no
49:01
I'm not freaked
49:02
out I'm indignant as a
49:05
consumer you know what let's let's talk
49:09
later no no I want to talk now okay I in
49:12
fact I want to talk to the
49:15
president of the condom company okay you
49:18
know what maybe I should come back
49:22
okay yeah oppressed one
49:24
very funny Ross very lifelike and funny
49:32
okay oh no no no no I I wasn't waving at
49:39
you
49:42
lady whoa maybe I
49:44
was hey Monica this totally hot girl in
49:46
Ross's building is flirting with me get
49:49
in there man FL back mix it
49:51
up yeah yeah I'm down with
49:54
that okay here it
49:58
goes
50:01
how
50:03
you are
50:05
doing it worked she's waving me over
50:09
okay I'll be right over let's see she's
50:13
on the third
50:14
floor wow she is pretty huh tell me
50:16
about it
50:20
huh oh no no no no no I'm not with her
50:21
no that that's just Monica
50:24
oh sorry did I get
50:37
you no you didn't get me it's an
50:40
electric drill you get me you kill
50:42
me calm down do you want this unit or
50:46
not I do not want this unit oh you
50:49
should have told me that before not a
50:52
mine reader
50:54
and we're out of beer okay I'm going to
50:57
Monica's
50:59
fine come here to
51:07
me I know you come here to
51:10
me hey
51:14
Ross I brought reinforcements oh great
51:16
what you brought Joey well I brought the
51:19
next best thing
51:21
all Chandler you brought Chandler the
51:23
next best thing would be
51:26
Monica you know I would be offended but
51:28
Monica is freakishly strong so all right
51:31
look I I drew a sketch of how we're
51:34
going to do it okay ra that's you that's
51:36
the
51:39
couch what's what's that oh that's
51:41
me
51:45
wow certainly think a lot of
51:48
yourself oh that's that's my arm
51:52
oh I see I thought you just really
52:00
really liked your new
52:01
couch you know what just just follow my
52:06
lead
52:08
okay come on
52:10
CH all right okay here we
52:13
go all right ready y turn okay turn
52:17
turn don't think we can turn
52:25
anymore I I just don't think it's going
52:27
to fit oh yeah will come on up up up
52:30
up yes here we go
52:33
pivot
52:37
pivot
52:40
pivot
52:42
pivot
52:45
pivot pivot shut up shut up shut up
52:48
[Applause]
52:56
okay I I don't think it's going to Pivot
52:57
anymore you
52:59
think all right let's uh let's bring it
53:02
back down and and try again okay
53:05
oh okay yeah I think it's really stuck
53:14
now can't believe that didn't work I
53:18
know me neither I mean you had a sketch
53:21
oh you know what what did you mean when
53:27
you said pivot friends family we
53:28
gathered to celebrate here today the
53:32
joyous Union of Ross and
53:34
Emily May the happiness we share with
53:37
them today be with them always now Emily
53:39
repeat after me I Emily I Emily take the
53:42
Ross Take the Ross as my lawfully wedded
53:47
husband in sickness and in health till
53:50
death BS us as my lawfully wedded
53:52
husband in sickness and in health until
53:55
death Parts
53:59
us our
54:01
R repat after me I
54:03
Ross I Ross take thee Emily take the
54:07
Rachel
54:15
Emily Emily
54:23
shall I go
54:32
on all right I took the quiz and it
54:38
turns out I do put career before
54:41
men get up what here my seat how is this
54:46
your
54:52
seat cu I was sitting there but then you
54:55
left well it's not like I went to
54:58
Spain I went to the bathroom you knew I
55:02
was coming back what's the big deal sit
55:04
somewhere else the big deal is I was
55:06
sitting there last so it's my
55:08
seat Well actually the last place you
55:12
were sitting was in there
55:14
so you guys you know what you know what
55:17
it doesn't matter because you both have
55:19
to go get dressed before the big vein in
55:21
my head pops so all right Ross I just
55:23
just have to do one thing really quickly
55:26
it's not a big deal get
55:27
up all right fine you know what we'll
55:32
both sit in the chair fine with
55:34
me I'm so
55:39
comfortable me too in fact I think I
55:42
might be a little too comfortable all
55:47
right okay look we have 19 minutes okay
55:51
Chandler I want you to go and change
55:54
okay and then when you come back Joey
55:56
will go change and he'll have vacated
55:58
the chair okay okay all right fine I'm
55:59
going what I get back it's chair City
56:03
and I'm the guy who's sitting in a
56:06
chair all right you will notice that I
56:11
am fully dressed I in turn have noticed
56:14
that you are not so in the words of AA M
56:16
get out of my chair dill
56:20
hole okay
56:25
[Applause]
56:32
what are you doing well you said I had
56:35
to give you the chair you didn't see
56:36
anything about the
56:37
cushions the cushions are the essence of
56:39
the chair that's right I'm taking the
56:41
essence he'll be
56:45
back there's nobody in the
56:47
room where's my underwear who whoa whoa
56:52
whoo come on come on what you took his
56:55
underwear he took my Essence okay hold
56:57
on Joey why why can't you just wear the
57:00
underwear you're wearing now cuz I'm not
57:03
wearing any underwear
57:05
now okay um then why do you have to wear
57:07
underwear tonight it's a rented tux okay
57:10
not going to go commando on another
57:13
man's
57:14
fatigue well then it looks like
57:17
somebody's going to have to give
57:19
somebody back his
57:20
cushions okay you hide my clothes I'm
57:22
going to do the exact opposite to
57:25
you what are you what are you going to
57:28
show me my clothes hey
57:30
opposite is
57:34
opposite he's got
57:37
nothing okay buddy boy here it
57:48
is you hide my clothes I'm wearing
57:50
everything you own
57:54
oh my
57:56
God that is so not the opposite of
57:58
taking somebody's
58:01
underwear look at me I'm Chandler could
58:02
I be wearing any more
58:05
clothes maybe if I wasn't going
58:08
commando
58:14
yeah I'll tell you it's hot with all
58:16
this stuff on I uh I better not do any I
58:18
don't know
58:20
lunges okay okay enough enough with the
58:24
lunting no I'm sick of this okay I've
58:27
had up to he with you two neither of you
58:29
can come to the
58:31
party jeez what a
58:32
baby oh my God I love this apartment
58:35
isn't it perfect I can't believe I never
58:39
realized how how great it is well that
58:42
is because your eye immediately goes to
58:44
the big naked
58:46
man it's amazing you better hurry up and
58:47
fill out an application or I'm going to
58:51
beat you to it oh
58:52
well I never thought I'd say this but
58:58
I'm going to go use ugly naked guy's
59:00
bathroom oh look there's there's Monica
59:06
and Chandler hey hey you guys
59:08
[Applause]
59:13
hey Monica Monica oh my
59:20
God Monica oh my God oh my eyes my eyes
59:24
bab bab okay it's okay it's okay no
59:30
they're doing it I know I know I know
59:34
you know yes I know and Joey knows but
59:37
Ross doesn't know so you have to stop
59:39
screaming what's going
59:42
on nothing oh God they were just so
59:46
excited that you might get this
59:49
apartment actually it looks really
59:51
good it looks pretty good get in here
59:53
come on
59:57
[Music]
00:02
Lyrics & Translation
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Key Vocabulary
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Key Grammar Structures
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