– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Excuse me.

I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.

Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler.

I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics

designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.

Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.

If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it.

[laughing]

If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

[laughing]

In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.

[laughing]

Interesting.

My mother and I have the same agreement about church.

[laughing]

I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

[laughing]

And then you might want to avoid East Texas.

Noted.

Now, before this goes any further, you should know.

That all forms of physical contact, up to and including coitus, are off the table.

[laughing]

May I buy you a beverage?

[laughing]

So you've never been married?

No.

I mean, to be completely honest, I've-

I've only been in one long time relationship.

What happened with that?

That's a good question.

[laughing]

After five years, it was just feeling like more work than it should be.

That's too bad.

Was he a neurobiologist like you?

No.

He's a theoretical physicist at Caltech.

[laughing]

I love teaching math, but that would be my dream job.

What's his focus?

Um, used to be string theory.

Now it's dark matter.

But let's not discuss Sheldon, let's get back to you.

Wait, you're not talking about Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

[laughing]

I'm trying not to.

[laughing]

Do you know him?

No, but I followed his work for years.

He's a rock star.

You've got to tell me about him.

What's he like?

[laughing]

I have to say, after reading your questionnaire, I feel like I already know you.

Totally, me too.

Excuse me.

Can we please get sparkling instead of taps, some clean silverware, and find out what they're having?

That looks delicious.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you.

So you're an astrophysicist?

Yes ma'am.

[laughing]

I mean uh, just yes.

Un- unless you prefer ma'am.

I don't.

Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am.

You seem more like a, sweet thang.

[laughing]

Wow.

You are not good at this.

If I was good at this, I wouldn't need to be fixed up by my father.

I never thought I let my family set me up either.

But I'm 34,

I'd like to have kids, and it's hard to date because I work so much.

Oh yes, you're a concierge.

For now.

I plan to be managing a hotel in the next five years.

Four If I can get the current manager out of the way.

He's a smoker, so fingers crossed.

I know how you feel.

My mother makes me crazy.

Not as crazy as my mother makes me.

Oh yeah?

Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?

My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

[laughing]

Okay well-

Does she lay out your clothes for you in the morning like you're nine years old?

You live with your mother?

No, that's the sad part.

[laughing]

Rough.

Okay, check this out.

My mother made me wear rubber gloves to kindergarten so I wouldn't pick up a disease from the other children.

[laughing]

That's nothing.

I couldn't ride a bicycle because my mother was afraid I'd hit a bump and lose my virginity.

[laughing]

Oh wow.

You didn't, did you?

Not on a bicycle.

In a Camry.

[laughing]

Corolla.

[laughing]

Let's see.

What else can I tell you about me that would make you like me?

[laughing]

I love music.

Do you love music?

You really want to ask her that?

Well, you're right.

Everyone loves music.

[laughing]

She says, "Do you play an instrument?"

No, but when I was six years old, I tried to start a boy band called Frankie Goes to Bollywood.

[laughing]

But I couldn't get any other boys to join, so my parents asked the servants to be my backup dancers.

But wait, when you saying servants don't sign it like I'm bragging.

Sign it in a way that I sound humble with just a hint of-

That's right, I had servants.

[laughing]

Do you hear yourself?

Yes, but she doesn't, so get signing hand monkey.

[laughing]