[English]
oo that's a flex to get all three Wicks
with only one match that's good luck
okie dokie hi guys we're getting cozy
first of
all do you like my socks cuz I like him
Okie do hello guys um this is going to
be a little bit of a different format
than what I usually do but I hit 500,000
subscribers half a million I've been
I've been saying half a million cuz it
just sounds more impressive and while I
do not have another plaque to unbox for
this Milestone cuz the next one isn't
until a million I have been thinking a
lot I guess about how this Milestone
feels and how I got here but more
specifically the challenges the things
that I think most people don't usually
talk about is what I'm going to focus on
today admittedly I've even been having
some more of these struggles even more
so recently I would say and so I thought
I would just do a little bit more of a
chatty reflection on this Milestone and
kind of focus on the challenges normally
guys when I'm doing a sitdown video like
this where I'm just addressing the
camera in my bedroom I am fully
following a script that I have written I
script my sit down videos pretty much
word for word because it makes my life
so much easier when I go to edit that
footage but today is different I have
not scripted anything I do have some
bullet points of things that I want to
hit here but this is pretty much off the
cuff so a bit more stream of
Consciousness than usual and to give you
a little taste to wet your appetite of
some of the things that we're going to
go over getting over the embarrassment
of starting that is something that
people people ask me a lot about and how
I stay motivated and pull myself out of
ruts and get over the struggles that
naturally you're going to have when
you're a YouTuber full-time hate
comments and how I deal with those and
how the Dynamics of just kind of that
theme changes as you actually grow as a
YouTuber and then of course we'll cover
some positive things too some of my like
favorite moments that I've had up until
now changing niches anyways let's start
with the beginning shall we we're still
going to go kind of chronological so how
I started um I'll give you the very
brief story just in case you're new here
and you don't know it I started my
YouTube channel for funsies in Co during
quarantine I came home from college I
graduated 20120 dumped out my suitcases
of clothes and I was just dreading
putting it away in my closet and I was
like you know I'm not going to wear a
lot of this again and a lot of it I had
thrifted I feel the need to say but
instead of just re um donating it I
thought ah maybe I can get a little bit
of money for some of this and so I
started listing those clothes for sale
on Poshmark online and it was something
I just got like pretty addicted to
pretty quickly because was just that
feeling the adrenaline of of making a
sale I just I found it really really fun
and then once thrift stores started
opening up I would go in Source clothes
and then flip them online and so that
was kind of my first side hustle
something to keep me busy during that
time and eventually I started making
videos about it on YouTube and so that
is how I started my YouTube channel in a
very very specific Niche probably
needless to say I became a whole lot
more addicted to YouTube than I did to
reselling almost after my first video I
was like this is awesome and I got
really really really into learning about
how to start a channel and how to grow
quickly and keyword research again I
have the time for this because of covid
my start date for my first consulting
job got pushed back and so I basically
had this Gap here where I was in
California at home with my family and
did this to stay busy and thank God for
that at the time right before I was
about to start my consulting job I had
been making YouTube videos for like 8
months at that point and I think I had
probably 8,000 something like that and I
had a friend say what if by the time you
start your consulting job you have
15,000 subscribers and I remember in
that moment feeling like oh my God what
if would I even start my job or would I
just go all in on this because I'm
having so much fun doing it and making a
little bit of money like I was monetized
at the point I was super excited the
prospect of 15,000 subscribers since
we're talking about the beginning the
fear of getting started and getting over
the embarrassment and getting made fun
of people ask me about this a lot like
surprisingly a lot I don't know if it's
surprising because it is a weird thing
it is unusual thing to film yourself to
do literally what I'm doing right now to
put it out on the internet and to
purport I guess that what you put on the
Internet is worth other people's time to
watch because most people don't do it
although more and more are doing it
these days it will just naturally rub
some people the wrong way or because
it's something that would scare them to
do they'll kind of make fun of you for
it or they'll think it's kind of weird
and I was not immune to that even though
I have amazing people in my life and
really great friends I did get made fun
of I'll actually never forget this I was
was at it was like a group of me and 12
of my friends it was uh like all college
friends and it was pretty shortly after
I moved to New York and I had started
getting a little bit of traction I'd put
out my first day in the life of a
consultant video and my first like New
York City Vlog because it was a big
group setting I think it was one of
those things where you know one person
says something to get a reaction out of
the group and then it kind of goes from
there this wouldn't have happened in a
one-on-one setting but alas it was a
group setting and my YouTube channel
came up without going into too much
detail I got some comments oh new City
Vlog like who watches these and day in
the life of a consultant oh you spent
the first six minutes of the video like
showing your morning routine before you
actually start talking about Consulting
all of which by the way at least that
last Point totally valid feedback which
I actually
Incorporated and so anyways it was a
pretty uncomfortable situation for me at
the time to be in this room of people
who were like kind of chirping at it but
the important part is how I got over it
and how I learned to like move past
those kind of comments the truth is that
I loved what I was doing so much and was
so motivated by it and energized by it
that like yeah while I didn't love those
comments was I going to stop because of
those like few people in that room
absolutely not not even for a second and
so what I did was think about it and
actually take admittedly take some
constructive criticism out of those
comments even if they weren't delivered
in the nicest way and Implement them
into my future videos like I learned to
get to the point quicker and these are
things I would have learned myself over
time but one I guess there is some value
in certain comments but that's not
really the point the point is there are
going to be a lot of people in your life
that kind of let you down or that give
up on you or just won't believe in you
do not let that person be you and if you
love what you're doing enough and you're
motivated by it like those comments are
just they're just going to roll off of
you that's not true they won't just roll
off of you they're going to suck but my
point is that what you want to do and
what you're passionate about and your
desires have to outweigh the shittiness
that comes from comments like that life
is way too short you have to live a life
that is true to yourself and what you
want to do and not what others expect of
you and you're going to get more and
more as time goes on granted probably
not from your close friends and from
people on the internet but you're always
going to deal with some some type of
hate comment when you put yourself on
the internet that completely just comes
with the territory and then getting over
the fear of embarrassment this is
slightly different than like getting
made fun of I I think you actually have
to be a little delusional when you put
your first video out you have to believe
that it is good and that it is valuable
depending on what the video is if you're
teaching something which I was at the
time I really could fall back on the
fact that if I had seen that video like
a year prior it would have been helpful
to me if that makes sense so I think
being able to fall back on kind of
knowing that there's value there gives
you a pretty strong Foundation to not
get shaken when you feel slightly
embarrassed that your friends from
middle school might see it or you know
what I mean like who cares the goal is
for as many people to see it as possible
so who cares if your second order uh
third order acquaintances see you know
what I mean pop in after I finish
filming that I want to include here
something else I've learned over the
journey to 500k is really the business
side of this I treated my YouTube
channel like a business from day one and
I think that's part of the reason that I
love doing it so much because that
personally really motivates me the
business side and it goes hand inand so
well more recently with kajabi who I've
been using for a while now they're
sponsoring this video but today I'm just
speaking from the heart I don't even
need to look at the talking points cuz I
know so much about kajabi at this point
they are an amazing and I really mean
this they are an amazing all-in-one
platform where creators can kind of
start and build multiple revenue streams
so you can build an online course on
kajabi you can have a membership site
you can host a podcast you can have an
email newsletter endless things they
have so much functionality and
capabilities it's almost overwhelming
but like in a good way because I love to
have the option to just customize the
crap out of everything they are just an
amazing kind of player in the creater
economy world where as far as I see it
they are just champions of creators
because they don't take a revenue share
yes as a Creator you pay to use the
platform but they don't take a cut of
whatever sales you make on your course
or on your membership whatever I just
have absolutely adored loved working
with them and so to try kajabi for
yourself which you should if you're a
Creator looking to build multiple
revenue streams you can try it for free
at kajabi.com tayor Bell that's
kajabi.com tayor Bell and you can join
the creators and entrepreneurs who have
now earned over eight billion dollars on
kajabi when I first started working with
them it was six billion so it's just
wild again kajabi.com tayor Bell thank
you to kajabi as always I got to go a
little faster if I ramble this much it's
going to take forever so stage two
slightly more positive maybe but it's
kind of that first phase of exciting
growth having the amateur mindset having
your first sort of mini viral video and
having real fans if I may say I think
that arguably the most fun stage at
least for me up until this point is kind
of the stage where you're going from 10
to 20,000 to 100,000 subscribers when
you're still considered a pretty small
Creator but you feel a real real
connection with a lot of the people
watching your videos and you're getting
better and you can see the numbers
rising and the numbers by the way small
tangent that I I was planning on hitting
here anyways a lot of people say numbers
don't matter because you can't control
the numbers which I get why people say
that and that is true to an extent but I
will go out of limb and say that numbers
do matter they matter for motivation at
least for a lot of people I'm not saying
it should be your main motivator but
let's be realistic especially when
you're starting going from 10,000 to
20,000 subscribers is a hell of a data
point that does matter it shows that you
have a proof of concept if you have more
eyeballs watching and more subscribers
and more comments now people's point
about the numbers being out of your
control is kind of true in the sense
that what you can control is making more
videos getting better and better at
honing your craft and then the score
kind of taking care of itself I do also
believe that and that's what you should
focus on is just getting better and
being consistent in all these things
rather than just focusing on the numbers
but they kind of go hand inand is my
point so anyways back to that really
really fun and exciting stage it was
really really fun my first ever kind of
mini viral video was my day in the life
of a consultant which as we've already
talked about I actually don't think is a
really really good video to today's
standards I watch it and I kind of
cringe because it's true I didn't get to
the point very quickly and I don't know
the flow is not very good but whatever
that's kind of the point it's not going
to be good when you first start but what
is so beautiful about that stage is that
you have this what I kind of call the
amateur mindset the amateur mindset I
have seen come up in many places just
kind of in the creative world I'm going
to share this in another video CU I
could talk about it a lot but and show
your work they go over the amateur
mindset which is basically the period in
your creative Journey Where You Are just
kind of unafraid and you're trying
everything and you don't know what you
don't know yet you're you're not
hindered by the context of a lot of
knowledge and getting better at what
you're doing now I know what I don't
know I know my limitations kind of and I
know that if I put out this video I know
it's not going to do well so I just
won't do it you know what I mean versus
back then you're just kind of
experimenting with everything you're
you're seeing some traction so you're
throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall
and there's a lot of creative freedom in
that time that I honestly am jealous of
I I often think about the way that I
operated in that time um I was posting
even God I had a freaking full-time job
and it wasn't even a 9 to5 it was a 9
to9 Consulting and I was still making
videos pretty much weekly and I didn't
hold myself to a crazy high standard of
editing at the time point is the mindset
that you have when your channel has has
just got off the ground and you're
having a handful of people watching
every single video and hyping you up in
the comments and you recognize their
Avatar and you feel like you have a
personal relationship with them it is
kind of the best feeling it is you get
totally addicted to it and this the sort
of sad reality is that I don't think
that you can go back to that and you
don't want to go back to that because
you've learned so much part of me wants
to go back to that kind of mindset but I
just yeah you can't take away what
you've learned and so what you can do is
just be fierce and unafraid to try new
things and I'm trying to get better at
that now going back to the negative not
even but the challenge is the stage
after that really really exciting like 0
to 100,000 subscriber Mark the
challenges during this whole time that I
was at BCG and doing YouTube I had a
little bit of an identity shift this is
kind of when I switched my Niche I was
very very intentional to at some point
stop talking about Consulting about my
day job because it wasn't my passion I
didn't want to have to rely on talking
about that to grow on YouTube that was
kind of my biggest fear is very loaded
but like to me it was kind of like
what's the point of doing this if I have
to talk about something I'm really not
enjoying to get views and to grow an
audience you know what I mean and so
Consulting was always kind of in the
background of my life like I would refer
to it because it literally was my
full-time job but I wouldn't make there
was a point where I stopped making
videos just about it I only made one day
in the life of a consultant video I made
a couple explaining what Consulting is
and why I went into it but admittedly
when I made those videos that's when I
was still kind of excited about
Consulting as more time went on I really
really wanted to pivot to kind of more
broad business and personal finance and
personal development topics as well as
what life is like in New York City so
there were a lot of different things I
wanted to make and experiment with but I
did not want to get pigeon hold into
Consulting content funny enough a lot of
people still have the notion that the
second I left Consulting is when I
stopped talking about it like no I
stopped talking about it years before on
purpose we we'll go over them but some
of the challenges with this identity
shift and with kind of changing my Niche
and doing this at the the same time as
this very very demanding consulting job
it was a pretty tough year I'll be
honest not like personally although it
was a very big transformational year for
me personally too but yeah I had to
Grapple for the full year with knowing
that I wanted to do this other thing
while I was still in in my consulting
job I talked about this in my why I left
Consulting video which I get pretty
personal in there but yeah basically I
dealt with this really really strong
cognitive dissonance of having this
other thing that I knew I loved and
wanted to do full-time but was in this
job that I really did want for so long
while I was in college and then once I
get it I'm not really enjoying it I'm
kind of resenting it to be honest
because it took me away from the thing I
wanted to do anyways though yes during
this year I did feel a little
directionless because I couldn't make
that many videos because it was so
demanding my full-time job so when I did
make them I feel like they they weren't
my best work because I just literally
didn't have the hours to dedicate to it
I didn't have the hours to dedicate to
improving and I couldn't practice so I
just kind of put out I don't want to say
half-ass videos but ones that were like
pretty quick relatively speaking to make
quicker to edit I just wasn't very
fulfilled during this time I will say
though it made very clear what I wanted
to do if that makes sense like it almost
took this job to make me realize oh that
is what I want that is fully what I want
to do and and to not have any second
guessing when I finally made the
decision to jump ship but anyways moving
on to like kind of is present day or
let's just say the last year leaving
Consulting and doing YouTube full-time a
lot of people ask me how I stay
motivated and my thoughts on this it's
sort of an unsatisfying answer and it's
that I really once again just love
making videos so much that if a video
doesn't perform well or I go through a
rut you know I just kind of have to sit
through that I have to allow that I have
to let myself kind of feel those
emotions cuz you just can't push that
away but I do believe that if you really
really love it you'll come back to it
and you'll get inspiration again from
something else and you know it's just
it's kind of the life cycle but I'll be
very honest with you guys when I have a
video that I think is really really good
I put so much time and effort into it
and it bombs or it just doesn't perform
as well as I thought it would have based
off of all of my conventional knowledge
and research on YouTube and everything
it sucks like I'm literally going
through it right the second as I make
this video I just put out my New York
City Terrace makeover video and I'm
really hoping that it performs better
over time because I think it's just like
really fun and in my opinion like a
well-made video that has a good flow
like I put so much time and effort into
and how much I'm talking versus how much
b-roll and how the music changes I just
put a lot of effort into that and so
while I'm never one to say that it
deserves more views like I really don't
like when people say that I think it's
one that a lot of people would enjoy if
they saw it and so anyways point is the
fact that it's not performing super
strong out of the gate it sucks like
it's not a fun feeling but the only
thing I can do is try and take away
learning lessons from why I think that
might be like really analyze it look at
my analytics see the retention and then
push forward and make another video
because that's in your control the
numbers are not in your control and so
that's kind of the mindset that I've
always taken on the flip side of that
I've had videos that I thought were like
fine that did really well so I'm like
what the hell but anyways the algorithm
will always or sometimes will surprise
you in positive and negative ways but
that is kind of just the name of the
game all that's in your control is to
get better I I'm like constantly kind of
a student of the game I'm always is
writing down editing techniques that I
want to learn how to do I am living on
YouTube I watch so many videos and if
one really really inspires me or I
notice that I feel happy afterwards I
take note of what about that video was
successful to me as a viewer and I have
a full note of videos that that did that
for me so that's what you can do I'm
turning this into like a teachable but
that's just kind of how I operate oh
people ask me here let me make sure it's
still filming I don't have a viewfinder
I still use my phone to film okay what
am I doing here Taylor let say on track
a lot of people ask me oh yeah getting
over the fear of filming in public very
specific but I always just have it in my
mind I am if someone looks at me and
sees me for 2 seconds while they're
walking by filming and they think oh
that's kind of weird I'm never going to
see that person again and even if I did
why do I care I I don't but like why
does one care what they think you know
it's a little bit reminiscent of one of
my favorite life advice that I always
give which is you know if you're
stressed out or worried about something
right now ask yourself if in a year will
that matter will it matter in 5 years
and the answer almost always being no
it's kind of the same thing like just
put it into perspective you're never
going to see that person again and this
doesn't just go for filming in public
that is so specific it it goes for lots
of things um when you get stressed out
and getting over embarrassment or trying
something new so anyways that's my
advice okay ooh this is fun some themes
and things that I've been thinking about
starting with staying private so I just
turned 27 which is crazy cuz I was 22
when I started this YouTube channel I
almost was 23 but I was 22 at that time
and when I first moved to New York I
kind of didn't really think about well I
did I thought about it a lot but I was
going to say proverbially I didn't
really think about what I was filming I
just kind of went out and and vlogged
and filmed things and then figured it
out when I was editing it how the story
would come together versus now I have
really started to realize the value of
keeping certain things private and the
value of staying present when you're in
an actual real moment with friends and
family I had someone leave a comment
recently like Taylor you always seem to
be alone do you not are you sad and
alone or something like that and no the
answer is no I'm not sad and alone but
when I go out and film a vlog it is a
planned day of filming where I'm by
myself I have bullet points of places
that I want to go see I don't have it
fully scripted or anything yeah it's a
very intentionally planned filming day
just for me every now and then I'll make
a video like what I spend in a week
where my friends and family have to be
in it regardless cuz I literally filmed
every single purchase that I made and so
friends made it into that one but
usually when I'm filming it's something
that yeah is very very planned and I do
that just so I can kind of curate what I
want to keep public and private and
there are times I've pic pulled out my
camera to film something if I'm out and
about with friends having a good time
and it's fine you know but I do feel
that it takes me out of the moment
that's kind of why I film the way that I
film oh another point on staying private
something I do and I'm I'm telling you
this because of some questions I've got
I don't announce things like big things
until until months later so when I left
Consulting to do YouTube full-time I
announced that my gosh four or five
months after I did it and similarly I
didn't announce that I started my new
consulting job until four or five months
after so like the timeline for when I
put it on the internet if I do put it
out is totally shifted and that has been
a really strategic decision that's been
very helpful for me because it gives me
Taylor the time to ease into something
privately like on my own time before I
announce it to the public and then the
public naturally have setting certain or
adjusting their expectations of my
frequency of uploads or of whatever yeah
I like to deal with my own
privately for a while first you know I
don't know if that's a tip it's just
something I do it's something I think
people in my personal life find
interesting and so thought I'd share
that okay hate comments this is so
unstructured sorry the reason I'm
talking about this is because the
Dynamics of hate comments and I think
the relationship that your audience has
with you or new people that find you it
does change as you get bigger or I
should say I this video is supposed to
be personal as I got bigger on YouTube
the Dynamics changed and some of it
might just be my perception but your
perception totally dictates your reality
what I mean by that is my perception
when I had 20,000 subscribers was oh
yeah one teeny tiny little hate comment
here and there but oh my gosh an
overflowing of people that found me and
feel like they found like an upand
cominging Creator before they got big
you know and they leave super super
supportive comments on all your videos
versus now if I'm being very honest with
myself I still get those I still have a
lot of very very very supportive
audience members and my God if the
people that I meet on the street that
come up and say hi are emblematic of how
amazing my audience is in the one-on-one
DMS that I get of people telling me that
they moved to New York because of me or
they got into pen because of me because
they applied years ago when I made
videos about my hindsight college
experience or they wanted to Consulting
because of me for better for worse it
means so much to me but on the more I
guess negative side what does come with
growing a bigger audience is you're just
going to get more hatee comments you're
going to get more trolls that assume
your intentions assume your motivations
and of course I can tell myself that
people that just go and leave nasty
comments like they have nothing better
to do with their time and so in some way
I pity those people but it doesn't not
hurt you know just because you can
rationalize it to yourself doesn't make
it feel any better however I think it's
worth noting that some hate comments
I literally don't care about and others
I do and others do hurt the ones that I
don't care about are like superficial
things comments on my looks or comments
on me wasting my IV League degree or I
actually and I mean this so sincerely I
don't care about those the ones that do
bother me are ones where I'm just so
obviously very misunderstood whether
it's purposeful or not you know comments
where people will assume I have bad
intentions or or that I'm just in it for
the money like utter that is
actually really harmful stuff or ones
that aren't necessarily where
you know people are still entitled to
their opinion you know they might not
like my content now compared to a few
years ago when I was talking more so
about consulting or you know more
corporate stuff versus what I focus more
on now is sort of Entrepreneurship and
how I make a living doing what I'm doing
and also just like fun lifestyle content
and showing what it's like to live in
New York people are entitled to their
opinion if they don't like that shift
even though happened a long time ago
nonetheless it's one thing to receive
constructive criticism and I mean this I
really do parse apart constructive
criticism with just like hate comments
and the construction of criticism even
though it can be hard to receive
sometimes I do take it into account I
really really do I still read to this
day every single one of my comments just
to have a pulse on what the community is
thinking even if I need to like mentally
filter through a decent amount of it
it's helpful to see what people are
thinking even in the hate comments I
don't think it gets easier but what I do
tell myself is that as I continue to do
this I'm just going to get more and more
and so it's something I have to learn to
deal with and while I know some creators
who just fully don't read the comments
for totally valid reasons for mental
health just so you don't see that
because it is a very weird unnatural
thing to be perceived by that many
people and having that many people weigh
in on everything about you it's a
strange thing and so I get why people
just might not read the comments I still
do I find Value in it plus I get so many
nice ones that I love responding to
anyways yeah it is just kind of the
reality of putting yourself when did I
get that close to the camera it is kind
of the reality of putting yourself on
the internet you're going to get it no
matter who you are and so finding out
what way works best for you to cope with
that or to learn from it um or what have
you you'll need to figure that out
sooner or later I guess I could tell you
guys just some of my sort of future
plans as far as content goes I am really
enjoying what I'm making right now it's
a hybrid of the solopreneur life and
life in New York City I think I'll stick
to that for a while but also to not be
afraid to experiment and try new video
topics even if they flop you have to try
new things to grow and so I have some
ideas there that I'm really excited
about too I will say that well I don't
know if I want to say this out loud
because maybe it will change but that's
okay I can change well let me put it
this way I still am a business person at
the end of the day the reasons I went
into Consulting and finance and my
internships and went to business school
like that is very core to who I am and I
do find it appealing to continue SL
start leading even more into that side
of me and my background and interest if
that would be of interest to you guys
let me know in the comments throw
suggestions like I said I read
everything so I will see your comment
that's one thing I will say otherwise
this was very rambly I know I think I
ended up making it a little prescriptive
more than I originally intended but if
you liked this or like this format where
I just Yap for however long this video
will be once I edit it down let me know
and I can make more because they are
kind of fun and therapeutic in their own
way and gosh I have to just finish with
an actual genuine thank you that this is
my job I mean like I said in the
beginning I know I kind of focus on some
of the negative aspects or the
challenges rather but for the most part
I really do wake up every single day in
this bed excited to do what I do and to
get out of bed and and get after it I
yeah couldn't be more grateful for that
truly I do not take it for granted so I
wanted to finish with that instead of
kind of the solemn note we finished on
before anyway I'll see you guys soon let
me know in the comments like I said I
read them all let me know what you want
to see from me kind of in the next year
I have hundreds of ideas written down
but I would love to hear y'all's
thoughts so anyways with that turtle out
okay so actually it's way too late to be
drinking coffee but I don't care and
guess who's due for a little refill
[Music]