– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you

I don't go to Olive Garden and tweak out

like an addict shoving bread sticks in

my face hole while the waiter looks away

in disgust as he grates a cheese

mountain on my plate.

But you know you can do better at home,

right?

[Music]

Shimmy shimmy shimmy. Good morning you

beautiful people. Today you're going to

learn how to make three core pasta

sauces, including one that people always

argue about. And you can make each one

in the time it takes you to boil your

pasta. Now, first up is arabiata, which

out of all three pastas we're making

today has technically the most prep

work, but also isn't a lot. But before

we deal with any of that prep, we need

to start by filling a pot with water and

putting on the stove. And here's a fun

fact for you. I'm sure like most of you,

when you go to boil water, you probably

turn your faucet all the way hot because

you're like, "Oh, then the water's

hotter, so it'll boil quicker." Which is

true, but the consequence of that is the

water you're now heating up has run

through your water heater. And unless

you're really on top of flushing and

cleaning out your water heater, chances

are there's probably a good solid amount

of mineral deposits in that water, which

ends up on your pasta. And if you're

thinking, oh, like no, that's not mine.

No, no. I would say take a stainless

steel pan, put a little bit of hot water

in it, throw it on your stove, and then

let it cook off and steam off, and

you'll see that residue that's left

over. But also, I'm not a scientist.

That's just my personal experience and a

lot of time on the internet. Anyways,

the first thing you're going to want to

do is go ahead and crush and strip off

the skin from some garlic that fell on

the floor. We're just going to ignore

that and pretend it didn't happen

off the skin.

I've got roughly six cloves here, but

honestly, it's personal preference. If

you really like garlic, go ahead and add

more garlic if you are not super into

garlic and you're lying to yourself,

then don't add as much garlic. And then

we're just going to give this all a

rough chop so we don't end up with a

large chunk of garlic in our bite. And

then we'll just set that to the side on

a bench scraper so we can easily move it

later. Next up, you'll take just a

little bit of Italian parsley. You

really don't need a lot of it. This is

roughly four to five stems worth. And

you also could pick leaves off of stems,

but really it doesn't matter that much

cuz we're just going to roughly chop it

anyways. And then we are also just going

to set this to the side. Next up, we

have basil, which if you're still buying

basil in those little like plastic

containers, the the ones at the grocery

store where it's like here's like four

or five stems and it's like $6. Please

don't do that. This is a basil plant,

which I got for $3 at the grocery store.

Like not even anything fancy. It was

just at Albertson's. And now whenever I

need basil, I can just snip snip snip

snip snip snip snip snip. And to

maintain this, you can go the super easy

route like I do and just put it inside a

deli and then fill up a little bit of

water and just top it off when it looks

dry. It's very minimal work for a great

return. And for the basil, you can go

ahead and cut it if you want, but I

don't like to cut basil if I can avoid

it. That said, I'm going to cut basil

later today. But in this case, just

layer it up and tear it. Now, your 10

leaves of basil are all artsy and torn

up in a nice, cool, different, unique

way. And the last thing you're going to

need is a 28 oz can of peeled whole San

Marzano tomatoes. They look like this.

But also, bear in mind, not all San

Marzano tomatoes are the same. These are

San Marzano tomatoes, but they are not

DOP San Marzano tomatoes, which is the

regulatory body that approves San

Marzano tomatoes. I think I don't know

the specifics. All I know is that if you

can find a can that says DP certified on

it, get that one. And then all you're

going to do is just crack open the can.

Now, before we start cooking down our

sauce, my pasta water is boiling. So,

we're going to start with that.

Traditionally, for something like this,

people would use pennet, but I'm using

filei because I like it. And really,

there are no rules except salt. Add

salt. Generous amounts of salt. followed

by about 250 g of raw pasta, not raw,

dried pasta. Usually that's about half

the package and enough for two people.

Now, in a saucepan on medium high heat,

we're going in with a little bit of

olive oil, a roughly chopped garlic, as

well as about a tablespoon of red chili

flakes. If you want it more spicy, you

can add more, but that's a nice middle

ground. Then, I'm just going to sauté

this around until it's got nice and

fragrant and my nose hairs are burning.

Just make sure to keep it moving so that

way your garlic doesn't burn or your

chili flakes. You don't want that to

burn either. And don't forget to stir

your pasta, too, so it doesn't stick to

the bottom of your pot. And now after

about 3 minutes or once that garlic

starts to get really fragrant, go ahead

and add in your whole canned tomatoes.

Then just using your wooden spatula or

spoon, you're going to want to break up

those tomatoes. Not all the way, but you

don't want like a giant tomato in your

bite. So just use sound judgment. Now,

as this comes back up to temp, you're

going to notice a lot of bubbles and

splatters. So just be weary because

molten tomato doesn't feel good on the

skin.

Like that almost immediately. That's

great. Learn from my mistakes, please,

because it sucks. I can feel it through

my a. And while this continues to cook

down, you just want to make sure you're

scraping the bottom so that way

nothing's getting stuck or nothing's

getting burnt. And it cooks down your

sauce nice and evenly. Now, after about

7 to 8 minutes cooking this down, most

of that moisture, most of that excess

water has evaporated. We're now just

going to want to salt our sauce.

Remember, it's tomatoes and tomatoes can

take a lot of salt, so don't be afraid

of salt, but also, you know, add a

little by little. Stir it in. Give it a

nice mix. And then give it a good taste.

A little more. And then, of course, you

can't forget your black pepper.

Now, our pasta is almost done. So, the

last thing we're going to do is scrape

up that parsley and basil. Add that in.

And then just give that all a nice fold

together. I mean, you can't look at that

and tell me that isn't beautiful. Come

on. And now, make sure our pasta is

done. It's done. And we are just going

to carefully move it over to our sauce.

And now, we want this sauce to emulsify

just a little bit better. So, I'm just

going to grab a little bit of pasta

water and just go ahead and work that

into our sauce. I don't know if you can

tell, but uh there's pasta sauce

everywhere, which is just the nature of

making a red sauce. But you got to clean

as you go, you know. And before I top

this off with a nice grading of

parmesano reaniano, I have to say this

is the last time you will ever see my

parmesano reaniano tomahawk. Cuz last

time I showed it to you guys, you guys

all made fun of me for it. But I think

it's pretty cool. This is it. Final

gradings that you will ever see the

Parmesano Reiano tomahawk.

[Music]

And next up on our list of things you're

going to accomplish today, we have

pesto, which start with pine nuts.

Oh, you're right. Yes, these these are

not pine nuts because pine nuts are

expensive and can be hard to find. These

are sesame seeds, which are inexpensive

and much easier to find. And can I tell

you a secret? Get closer. Closer. This

will work just as good. Now, we're going

to start off by toasting our sesame

seeds about 32 g or 4 tablespoons worth.

Spread them out and let them toast over

medium heat. Now, mine come already

toasted, but I want mine to be extra

toasted because we're putting it in

presto. So, why not? Now, one of the

more important things to toasting,

whether it's seeds, nuts, beans, or

whatever it is, is movement. Because you

don't want your beans or nuts or seeds

or whatever it is to be unevenly

toasted, right? You don't want it to

burn on one side and be nice and toasty

or whatever it is, and the other side is

raw. So, keep it moving. Make sure that

it stays nice and even. While that

toast, I totally forgot to remind you,

start boiling your water. this sauce

goes even quicker and so you're going to

spend a lot of time just waiting for

your for your pasta. And now after about

five minutes of toasting and I'm really

starting to get that nutty smell, remove

from the heat, move your heat source.

And now to build your sauce, you have

two options. You can do it in a motor

and pestle or a moete, which is the more

traditional way to do it, or you can

just use a mini food processor because

it is so convenient and so easy. And

I'll be honest, I went into today being

like, I'm just going to use this and

then I was like, no, I'm I'm going to

use this. I'm going to put in the work

for you guys and sweat profusely most

likely. I don't have air conditioning,

but there's nothing wrong with this. As

long as you are cooking for yourself,

that is that is all that matters. Now,

in addition to our sesame seeds, we're

going to throw in two to three cloves of

garlic. My garlic clove is unreasonably

large, so I'm just going to use two. And

then we just going to grind all of this

down.

And once we've gotten this all into a

fairly nice paste, we're going to start

working on our basil. Now, it's not an

exact science, but you want roughly

about 30 g of basil leaves. And you

really can just do it more along the

lines of taste, especially if you're

doing it in a mortar and pestle. You can

really see it versus if you're doing it

in a food processor. It's a little bit

harder to gauge. Once it's chopped up,

it's chopped up. It just does it all too

quickly. All right, we have roughly 25 g

of basil right now. I'm just going to

add that in. And if you really don't

have enough basil, you can subsidize

with a little bit of spinach. It'll help

kind of fill it out and give it more

body. And that should break up fairly

quickly and smell amazing. And now at

this point, my water is boiling, so I'm

going to find my salt and my pasta. And

you know what to do here, right? Like

you get the gist. I'm using ducete, but

feel free to use whatever you like. And

now into this, we're going to want to

add about 3 to 4 tablespoons of olive

oil. Again, this is more of a feel thing

and and you'll get the hang of it the

more that you make it. You're also going

to want to add about 60 g of grated

primo mediano. I told you you'd never

see it again. And for this, you really

do want to make sure that you are

grating this fresh because if you use

the pre-graded stuff, often times

there's going to be an anti- coating

agent on it that's going to prevent it

from making good sauce, and you don't

want that. And we'll just carefully

incorporate that in there. Mine's

looking a little solidified. So, I'm

going to add in a little bit more olive

oil. Roughly 2 tbsps more. And you want

to make sure that nothing gets stuck up

on the sides and you're really getting

everything all mixed up and broken down.

Couple more tablespoons. And again, this

is something you want to do little by

little because you can always add more,

but you can't take it away. I'm going to

add just a pinch of salt and no black

pepper because I don't like black pepper

in my pesto.

And now that our pasta is done, we're

just going to move it over. We're going

to fish it out and place it in a bowl.

And then we're just going to scrape in

our pesto. And make sure you don't

forget any because, you know, you worked

hard for this, especially if you ground

it down by hand. Like that's it's a lot

of work. And we'll just start folding

this together. There's a little bit of

pasta water already in this because of

the way that we moved the pasta over.

And that's great because we want that to

help emulsify our sauce. Then once it's

all mixed together and you have your

consistency where you like it, all you

have to do is just move it over to a

plate, top it with some parm.

[Music]

And now for our third and final sauce

and accompanying pasta, Alfredo. And not

the heavy cream kind of Alfredo, the

more authenticish Alfredo. It is the one

pasta dish that can undoubtedly piss off

any food snob. It is the pasta sauce

that requires the least amount of

ingredients, but also the most amount of

technique to get right. And today you're

going to learn to make it really well.

And all you need are two ingredients,

butter and parmesano aso. But first, we

start by boiling our pasta water because

it is going to take four times as long

as it takes us to prep our sauce. Now,

for butter, you're going to want

something that is really nice quality

because at the end of the day, there's

two ingredients that goes into this

pasta. And if one of them sucks, then

your pasta is going to suck. So, you

want to start with about 60 g of

unsalted, really good quality butter.

This is not the time to bust out your

bottle of squeeze margarine. Okay? Don't

do it. And now you're gonna want to

grate at least 60 grams of parmesano

mezano. And I say at least because you

can get away with about 60. That's a

good sweet spot, a 1:1 ratio of cheese

to butter. But also like who doesn't

want more cheese, you know?

For clarity sake, I did about 75 g. And

I'm probably going to also grate more

later on because I'm an addict with

problem. And now all we have to do is

wait for our pasta water to boil. And

while we wait for that, I figured I'd

tell you what pasta I picked off for

this maf. It's kind of like fetuccini,

but it's a little bit thicker and it's

got cool wavy edges that are better for

sauce. And now that we're boiling a

generous amount of salt and about 250 g

of our pasta. I I really hope that it is

as awkward for you when I'm standing

over there as it is for me because it's

really weird standing over there. I'm in

a weird position. I'm all twisted and

turned and I'm like trying to talk but

also I know like I'm at the edge of the

frame so I'm getting stretched out. I'm

not exactly a thin guy to begin with. So

I hope that it's awkward for you too.

And now that our pasta is done, we're

going to move it over. We're going to

take our pasta out carefully. And this

part needs to go fairly quickly because

you want to use that residual heat of

the pasta to melt our cheese and butter.

So, what I'm going to do is place that

on top of our pot because that's going

to keep our bowl warm, keep our pasta

warm, keep it from solidifying. So, I uh

totally forgot to press record, but uh

let me just run you a recap real quick

of what happened. Pasta finished. I put

the pasta here. I moved the pasta into

this bowl. I scooped out some pasta

water. I put the bowl on top of this pot

so that way it keeps it warm. Then, I

put the butter in the pasta. Mixed it

all around. Then, I put some cheese and

I mixed it all around some more. Now

we're here. Cool. Sick. Like I was

saying, you you want to use the residual

heat of the pasta and the pasta water to

help emulsify your sauce. If you do it

over the stove and it's too hot, you're

going to end up with a broken sauce. So,

placing the bowl over top as it kind of

cools down is going to help us stay

warm, but also not overheat our pasta.

And you want to do this part relatively

quickly. You definitely don't want to

have to stop and reexlain what you're

doing because you're an idiot who didn't

press record on your camera. Adding in a

little bit of pasta water here. As we

mix this, that sauce is coming together.

If your sauce is looking not saucy and

more of like cheese bits, add a little

more pasta water. It is a touchandgo

game. You're making sure that this pasta

stays silky and creamy, but you don't

want it to be wet and gross, and you

also don't want it to be underhydrated.

As you can see, this pasta with zero

cream in it is now looking quite creamy

with absolutely no cream.

Now, I'm just going to add a little

pinch of salt because I just just want a

little bit more salt as well as a little

bit of black pepper. And then I'm just

roughly chopping a little bit of that

Italian parsley cuz I want to give it a

little bit of color, a little bit of

freshness. It's like six leaves. And the

beauty of making your sauce this way is

one, there's, you know, there's no cream

in it. But two, if your sauce starts to

solidify, right, if you made your pasta

and then you went and you had to do

something or whatever and you came back

and it started to harden up, you'd add a

little bit more of that hot pasta water

to help break it up and and make it nice

and creamy again.

Thank you so much for watching all the

way through. I really hope that you

enjoyed it and learned something. Here's

a photo of me in a Superman costume.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
argue /ˈɑːrɡjuː/ B1	verb - to have a disagreement
sauce /sɔːs/ A2	noun - a liquid or semi-liquid food served with or on food
boil /bɔɪl/ A2	verb - to heat a liquid until it bubbles and turns to vapor
pasta /ˈpæstə/ A2	noun - a food made from flour, water, and sometimes eggs, formed into various shapes and typically cooked in boiling water
water /ˈwɔːtər/ A1	noun - a clear, colorless, odorless, and tasteless liquid
garlic /ˈɡɑːrlɪk/ A2	noun - a plant with a pungent bulb used as flavoring
chop /tʃɒp/ A2	verb - to cut into pieces
basil /ˈbæzɪl/ B1	noun - an herb with aromatic leaves
tomatoes /təˈmeɪtoʊz/ A2	noun - a typically red, edible fruit
salt /sɔːlt/ A1	noun - a crystalline mineral used to season food
heat /hiːt/ A2	noun - the state of being hot verb - to apply heat to
burn /bɜːrn/ B1	verb - to be damaged by fire or heat
mineral /ˈmɪnərəl/ B2	noun - a naturally occurring, inorganic solid
deposit /dɪˈpɒzɪt/ B1	noun - matter that has been laid down
fragrant /ˈfreɪɡrənt/ B2	adjective - having a pleasant smell
flavor /ˈfleɪvər/ B1	noun - the taste of food
technique /tɛkˈniːk/ B2	noun - a way of doing something