– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

hi everyone welcome back to advanced

english

greg and md here nice to see you all

hello hello so today's topic

is all about politely declining

an invitation in other words how do you

say

no when you either can't

make that event

or outing or if you don't want to and

you want to find a way out of it and say

no how do you do that in a nice way

[Music]

yeah that's a very very helpful tool to

have in your tool kit

because you know particularly

as we get better uh

at the language that we're learning um

the more opportunities we have to do

things

that's true right and so we get more and

more invitations to do things

um and being able to politely decline

protects your time uh while also

uh ensuring that you keep the

relationships that you have healthy

exactly that's a really good point right

we want to make sure that we keep the

friends we have

and not alienate them by always saying

no

right right all right so we're ready to

jump into this

yeah what do we have all right so the

first thing

is not to apologize right just i want to

preface it with that

there's no need we did a lesson before

on over apologizing

and saying sorry you don't need to be

sorry

right okay so that's one thing right we

don't need to be sorry if we can't make

something

right if they're trying to invite us

yeah and and to be clear

uh this is something that happens a lot

or that we hear people

say a lot right i'm sorry uh i can't

make that yeah uh i'm sorry uh

that won't work for me right the the i'm

sorry part is what we're talking about

it's that

apology that isn't actually necessary

yeah

so so that's a good sort of you know

rule of thumb

to have when you're really when you're

going into these kinds of things and

keep the apologies for the times when

you need to apologize

so with saying no tell them that you

have plans right tell them that you

you could say something like i would

love to but

right if indeed you are if you do want

to do that at some point for example

if greg is inviting me out to dinner

and i really want to at some point but i

don't have the time i already have plans

then i would say i would love to but i

can't do this friday

would next week work right giving them

an alternative

for example yeah i would love to but

it's yeah it's a very powerful phrase

um because it shows your interest yeah

um

but then clearly states that it's not an

option at least this time around

exactly and you're not like completely

um what's the word like you're not

telling them that in the future right

you're not completely rejecting it

exactly that this wouldn't be a

possibility for another time

yep so that's a good one um don't

feel pressure to give an elaborate

explanation

sometimes when people ask us uh

something or like to go out somewhere

and we can't do it or we don't want to

do it we feel badly

and then we try to come up with this

long

elaborate explanation as to why

we can't do it yeah right oh you know i

really i have a lot of laundry i have to

feed

my dogs and then i have a lot of

homework to do

or i have a lot of business proposals to

uh write i don't know why you would

write so many at one time but

you might um so there's no need to go

into all this detail about why you can't

do it

yeah it's it's always good practice to

keep things

short and simple um the more excuses you

give

the more it sounds like maybe you're not

being honest

or uh that you have something to hide

right

people respect it when you keep it short

so just saying

you know i can't make that this time

around uh

maybe next week and not explaining why

that that just helps keep the

conversation

on track and it prevents you from saying

something that maybe you didn't want to

say

or don't feel comfortable saying and it

prevents them

from probing more and trying to convince

you to do whatever it is they invited

you to do

right like it prevents them from talking

you

into it yeah right forcing you to change

your mind or your plans

trying to be convincing right to talk

you

into something or talk you out of

something right

so the other thing you can do is provide

an alternative

so that you know let's say you are busy

the next two weekends you can say if you

want to

spend time with this person you can

invite them to something

or suggest an alternative let's say they

want to play mini golf

you don't have time so you say i'm free

on this date can we agree on that date

are you

free at that time yeah i love that

basically a counter invitation

it's almost building on the first

suggestion that you gave which is

um i'm sorry i'd love to but because

this is proving by by inviting them

into something new um at a different

time

it really shows that you're genuine

about wanting to spend time with them

wanting to do whatever it is they

invited

exactly um and maybe what they asked was

not something you wanted to do

but you do want to spend time with them

right this is an opportunity to present

an alternative

that you are more comfortable doing yeah

so again what it reinforces is

this relationship this person is

important to you

and that you would do something with

them

if the time were different or the

activity were different so by proposing

it you put something forward

that you're comfortable doing um that

you're excited about doing

with them so they're happy you're happy

i

i love that as a strategy so it's a

win-win yeah it's a win-win

definitely and the last thing is you

know be honest right if it's something

where

you just don't feel comfortable doing it

or you

don't know how to do that type of

activity let's say they invite you for

skiing and you just you don't know how

to ski and you don't really feel like

learning at that time because you've

other stuff on your plate then you can

say

i'm i don't know how to ski um at some

point i'm thinking about learning

but thank you for the invitation and

then you can propose a

counter invitation for another time yeah

there's nothing wrong with being upfront

about something yeah the more

the more honest people are with me the

more i actually like them even if it's

because

even if they're presenting their honesty

in the form of rejecting me yeah

because uh it just shows that they speak

their mind that they have nothing to

hide

yeah so i i completely agree with that

right

um by by being upfront about

um you know a reason why you might not

want to do something

it kind of it puts some closure on the

conversation

um it shows you're not trying to make up

something yeah

um and uh and it you know it just it

just i

i think creates a much cleaner and

crisper conversation

yeah yeah so try those out the next time

you

don't want to do something or you can't

do something

and let us know how it goes figure out

what the best

strategy is for you based on the amount

of

invitations you get you might be super

popular and get a lot of invitations

and don't be afraid to say no and greg

touched on it earlier

about protecting your time yeah right

because time is something that we can't

get back

we can't buy more of so you know

definitely don't feel the pressure to

accept an invitation that you don't want

to

or you don't feel like doing at that

time there's nothing wrong with that

right yeah that's great so

thanks for joining us and uh we look

forward to having you in our next

conversation about whatever it is we

discuss

yeah stay tuned keep it right here on

advanced english and we'll see you soon

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
declining /dɪˈklaɪnɪŋ/ B1	verb - to refuse or say no to something
invitation /ˌɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/ A2	noun - a request to be present or participate in an event
polite /pəˈlaɪt/ A2	adjective - showing good manners and consideration for others
apologize /əˈpɒləˌdʒaɪz/ A2	verb - to express regret for something wrong or unfortunate
alternative /ɒlˈtɜːrnətɪv/ B1	noun - a second possibility or choice
elaborate /ɪˈlæbəreɪt/ B2	verb - to give more details or a fuller explanation
excuse /ɪkˈskjuːz/ A2	noun - a reason given to explain a fault or failure
honest /ˈɒnɪst/ A2	adjective - truthful and sincere
upfront /ˈʌpfrʌnt/ B1	adjective - frank and direct in manner or speech
strategy /ˈstrætɪdʒi/ B2	noun - a plan of action designed to achieve a long-term aim
reject /rɪˈdʒekt/ A2	verb - to refuse to accept or agree with something
ensure /ənˈʃʊər/ B1	verb - to make certain that something happens
alienate /ˈeɪliəneɪt/ B2	verb - to make someone dislike or distrust you
pressure /ˈprɛʃər/ A2	noun - the feeling of stressful urgency
counter /ˈkaʊntər/ B1	adjective - opposing or in response to