– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Manuel there is too much butter on those

trays he there is too much butter on

those trays no no no seor not not on

those trays no sir

un Ali

okay Ali ah monia what okay monia buru

is is um

e Buu Buu

is po

poor I nothing de I'm just dealing with

it he speak good how you say English

manilia

Sol do

do well don't look at me you're the one

who's supposed to be able to speak it

two pieces two each ARA Ara

I don't know why you wanted to hire him

basil because he's cheap and Keen to

learn dear and in this day and age why

did you say you could speak the language

I learned classical Spanish not the

strange dialect he seems to have picked

up to train a monkey morning Miss Gatsby

morning Miss te good morning good

morning Basel yes de are you going to

hang the picture yes I am dear yes yes

well when I've when I've H well why

didn't you do it now well I'm doing this

dear I'm doing the the menu well you got

all morning to do the menu why didn't

you hang the picture

now well that's all right I won't do the

menu I don't think you realize how long

it takes to do the menu but no it

doesn't matter I'll hang the picture now

if the menu are late for lunch it

doesn't matter the guests can all come

and look at the picture till they are

ready right

lower no up a bit thank you dear thank

you so much I know where I'd be without

you land of the living probably

yes uh could we have our bill please

well can you wait a minute well I'm

afraid we're a bit late for our train we

didn't get our alarm call

right up aide you know we do have staff

problems I'm so sorry it's not all done

by Magic B are you doing the menu no I'm

not doing the menu de I'm doing the bill

for these Charming people who are in a

hurry I'm sorry to cause all this

trouble but the reason we're late is we

didn't get our alarm call oh dear I am

sorry B why didn't they get their alarm

call because I forgot I am so sorry I'm

not

perfect there you well there's the

devill perhaps you'd pay my wife I have

to put the picture up aren't the dust

bins to be cleaned up

newspapers bye see you

again don't forget the picture basil I

won't dear leave it to me I'm going out

now I expect it to be out when I come

back

drive carefully

dear go go and wait in there go and be a

waiter in

there I do apologize your lordship I'm

afraid he's only just joined

us we quicker to train a

monkey do uh do please follow me I mean

if you're if you're ready there's no

hurry oh yes yes no

[Music]

fine uh excuse me I'm sorry to bother

you uh would you mind moving to that

table can I ask you please to move to

that table over there I'm so sorry to

tell you we're than you so much this is

Lord Mel's table is he what H Lord

melbury when he stays with us he always

sits at this table why did they put us

here then uh an oversight on my wife's

part I'm so sorry he's only just arrived

you see would you mind ply H would you

help these people

move thank you thank you so much come on

come

on thank

you ah Lord melbury do please come this

way your lordship I have your table over

here by the window as

usual just here thank you thank you

thank you very

much oh my Lord oh my God me get your M

thank thank you so much

[Music]

thank uh Lord melbury I really must

apologize please please think nothing of

it oh but it was no no no smallest of

accidents could have occurred anywh yes

but I mean it no no I've forgotten all

about it well that's most I mean you're

really your lordship would you allow me

to offer you dinner here tonight as our

guest oh that's extremely kind of you

unfortunately I have an engagement

tonight oh actually yes there is one

thing good good um I was wondering can

you cash me a small check I'm playing

gol this afterno delight yeah I'd rather

not go into the T absolutely I mean uh

how much if it's not a rude question no

well uh could you manage um 50 oh

100 oh

absolutely oh yes I mean uh will 100 be

enough I mean 150 200 160 yeah now let's

see it's dinner tonight few tips oh and

it's the weekend isn't it would 200 be

all

right

oh oh please oh tremendous oh I'm so

happy I'll send someone down to the town

straight away and have it for you here

when you get back yes well that'll be

spended well thank you thank you a lot

thank you so much not all I mean my my

privilege breeding I mean

sure hello

Dar what you doing I'm kissing you dear

well don't thought it might be nice some

small sign I heard about lunch what oh

that oh think nothing of it what it was

the smallest of accidents could have

happened anywhere anywhere first you

move that nice family in the middle of

their meal and then you attack Lord

melbury with a

chair okay well I've had a word with

Lord Mar about it he was quite Charming

it's delightful to have people like that

staying here sheer class golf bar there

engagements couple of

horses well I've never seen such Tatty

cases of course you haven't it's only

the true uper CLS that would have tat

like that that's the whole point oh you

don't know what I'm talking about no I

don't but don't ever move guests in the

middle of a meal again and get that

picture

up Sor rat

course he crazy for room no room no no

pay no

room um faulty to how are you nice day

what no no no he not here he not here

very very sorry uh goodbye

goodbye ah hello men today now you are

men you are you're men are you trying to

be funny huh I said are you trying to be

funny not is butd not here you men with

Oly what you Oly men what does that mean

you Orly you watch it where Oly what's

he going on about he means ohy what

oh that's right yet we are arly

men think is a plank wait here please I

go you

wait

um you wait too please

[Music]

poly poly

[Music]

po H Faulty Towers how are you is a nice

day oh you again no I say you're not

here he not here very very sorry

goodbye Wicked hey you man know what to

do I think so this is the uh dining room

you are certain you know it looks pretty

straightforward we just got to block

this one off yes yes

yes oh you now listen he not here how

many times where are your ears you great

big half we he not here

listen now you understand

Mr faulty I'm very sorry very sorry is

you yes is me Mr FY Polly no no she she

she very

busy men yes men are here men are work

you work men yes which ah yes man with

beard uh please which one is man with

beard

see one moment please um you are a or

put

[Laughter]

it

P

Manuel py what have you done with my

hotel py what have you done to my hotel

what look oh it's it's nice I like it

there you're hurting me what have you

done with my dining room door where is

it I don't know why don't you know I

left you in charge well I fell asleep

you fell asleep well it's not my fault

you fell asleep and it's not your fault

he forgot to wake me who forgot to wake

you it is my fault man will I knew it

don't blame him why not it's not really

his fault well whose fault is it then

you clothy and B Den

com well you hired O'Reilly didn't you I

mean we all warned you who else would do

something like this beg your pardon you

hired

ory oh I see it's my fault is it oh of

course there I was thinking it was your

fault because you've been left in charge

or man Well's fault for not waking you

and all the time it was my fault oh it's

so obvious now I've seen the life well I

must be punished then mustn't I you're a

naughty

don't don't she going to be back at

lunchtime wait look how a demand you

realize easy you're too but old thing

don't panic what else you say to

do

we oh just

[Music]

P right I call her r

what is this I me what is this doing

what is going on here your wife ordered

the call O'Reilly that puff out what

she

want call Oy what shall I call him no no

I'll do it I'll call him you go and see

if the roof still

on what are you doing stay there you

can't do that now see if they stop in

breakfast

now ah hello Mr oan how are you this

morning oh good good no rare diseases or

anything oh I do big a p um basil faulty

you remember the poor s you do jobs for

well now how are things your

end oh

good good good

good how would you like to hear about

things my

end oh well up your usual standard I

think I could say a few holes in the

floor the odd door missing but nothing

you can't be sued for good

morning how big good morning one moment

please would you say good morning see

what

see well what are you going to do now

then okay what you do now I start

breakfast oh that's you then see

where is

door door is

gone door door was here where

um and where is your Charming wife this

evening oh she's uh she's spending the

night with the

FR oh a girl a lady friend when the cats

away huh oh hardly know too much to do

ah well good night when we oh Mr for yes

did you fix my window oh uh D oh if you

could please it's it's so hot tonight

yes yes okay

right here we are no you're so strong oh

well I'm sure you are too if you put

your mind to it your wife shouldn't

leave you with strange women oh well I I

wouldn't call you that strange Mr FY

you're so Charming oh little oh hear

that isn't it wonderful yes it's nice

isn't it I shall sleep on natural

tonight good idea right not so much fun

on your own oh well one can always

pretend oh twinch from the old leg

better go Li up good night good night

Dam

stra oh

uh who is it h Mr

FY hello I'm so sorry but I have to

leave early tomorrow could I have a call

at 7:00 please oh Marvis is that all

absolutely 7:00 please don't go yet

really I think you've forgotten

something did I damn well thank your

recorder oh thank you you left it in my

room no thank you so much you left it in

my room so you could come and get it

didn't

you I'm not having you knocking on my

door in the middle of the

[Laughter]

night COC you're naughty

man good night good night

look go to your room I won't ask you

again open the door listen I can't my

wife has just got back unexpectedly

she's in the bathroom what dear uh I

think you'll find it on the second shelf

siil darling let me in basil look you'll

meet somebody else sooner or later Basel

try to control contr yourself where do

you think you are Paris let me in shut

up with you you silly tart go away my

wife will hear us this is your

wife oh what a terrible

dream there's a burglar downstairs

George go back Diddy there's a burglar

downstairs what a burglar

quick and will

we've been to a

wedding hello 4y

titties yes

yes oh it's your ay

yes oh he's left you again has he oh

dear oh dear how sad yes oh good evening

major yes I'll be with you in just one

moment yes well I'll get it a call H yes

well keep your pecker up

bye stop

[Music]

it hello we booked a room have you yes a

double one the name is one moment please

it's a nice suit what

I thought you said something

no are you all right yes thank

you are we ready I think we are yeah may

I have your name please yes it's Bruce

Mr and Mrs Bruce right is it a double

bed I big a pardon has our room got a

double bed a double bed yes well we've

only got one double bit I mean you want

that no very much indeed yeah well I

have to put you in number 12 then all

right well I mean what oh never mind yes

has it got a

breeze has it got a breeze oh is is it

Airy well there's air in it I mean

what I think there's a letter for me

what there's a letter for me there no

there isn't yes Gan

Wilson Jean Wilson is this you

mhm now what's going on

here well I can't give you a double room

then oh lord it's against the law what

law the law of England nothing to do

with me what did you do with you nothing

at all I can give you two singles if you

like but um should we go somewhere else

excuse me well there's my key and now

I'm off to pain the to Red thank you so

much well perhaps I'll see you later

this evening yes my wife and I will be

up till quite late tonight thank

you I believe it will excuse me we'll

have two singles then if that's all

right with the police two singles are

certainly now um next to each other next

to each other oh dear we can't do that

what a shame good evening good evening

um a double is it we'd like a double two

singles dear not married now um what

nothing I'm dealing with it well 17 and

18 are free you'd have to share a b no

oh Audrey called oh H it uh George's

left it again oh no now we've got one on

the first floor one right up at the top

shall I deal with this Basel I'm dealing

with it dear no dear that's all right

now you wanted two singles I said I deal

with it do you mind sharing your

bathroom look I was here first it's my

turn now

though I thought the Korean War you know

I killed four

men he was in the catering core he used

to poison

[Laughter]

them yes who is it is Manuel what do you

want can I go now I thought you'd gone

okay I thought you'd gone no no I turned

it off what it was about so high no no I

said I thought not a Crut it doesn't

matter okay it doesn't matter oh you

think I gone yes no no I go now

wonderful what is okay is okay thank

you yes before I go is

it is my birthday yes I know I want to

thank you for beautiful presents oh yes

and for your much kindness to me since I

come here not at all my pleas since

coming here from Spain leaving my mother

outside okay outside thank

you since coming here from Spain leaving

my five brothers and

sister oh I'm so sorry to have left you

uh I trust you enjoyed your meal yes

thank you I was the the casserole was

really good was it well it was adequate

oh quite yes exactly I'm afraid our our

Chef had lunch today is not our regular

incidentally I'm sorry about that poor

chap choking himself like that I was

wondering if you had a telephone I might

use oh yes please don't know how he

managed to do it but uh thank you ah

there he is good Mr hudon there you are

Fight For Shame about that bit of cheese

getting stuck in the old wind pip like

that would you like to go in there and

discuss it no I'd prefer to come in here

and discuss it oh fine I'm afraid it's a

little bit of a

mess well that lie down seems to have

done you some

good sorry

[Laughter]

I'm not a violent man Mr

faulty yes you are oh no I'm not no but

when I'm insulted and then attacked I

prefer to rely on my own metal and call

the police do do yes I do now stand up

like a man come on bit of trouble with

the old leg come

on yeah what I found yeah I I hope I've

made my point absolutely yes I've been

looking for that I would just like to

say I would just like to say that this

hotel is extremely inefficient and badly

run and you are are very rude and

discour man Mr faulty I said something

funny Mr faulty well sort of py I oh

really well here's the punch

line I'm going to fet my belongings and

I do not expect to receive a

bill you've handled that then have you

Bower Yes dear thank you leave it to

me incidentally I don't know if you

realize but he's a regular customer of

ours oh he loves it here it's his second

home it's just that we always have to

have this little I don't know he seems

to like it really the only danger is

there that somebody's going to think he

really isn't satisfied about something

or the fighting is real you know and

tell somebody you won't mention it would

you we'd love to offer you a dinner here

tonight as our guest to show our

gratitude what a dinner tonight would

you would you no I can't tonight thank

you tomorrow night I should be leaving

tomorrow I'm sorry all right £50

then take your £50 not to mention it £50

so 60 not to write about it you know I

mean articles books letters

I really don't oh please it's taken us

12 years to build this place up don't

put this in the book we're finished if

you don't please don't book what book

the hotel guy oh sorry I shouldn't have

mentioned it

oh You' got me confused with someone

[Music]

else I'm I'm nothing to do with any

hotel guide I'm down here for the

exhibition I sell outb

Motors all right

[Music]

you're not an inspect no not on the side

no swear to God yeah I tell you I have

nothing to do with it oh thank you oh

thank you so

much I don't know how I can

never

thanks 26 bedrooms 12 with private bath

BS yes well why don't you have dinner

here and Chris and I can try the cemont

okay the owner won bezel

faulty please SE Mr FY want to say adios

he wants to no Noor

[Laughter]

so you can't do the lobster no right

right I see but but but Andre the

tornadoes yes I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry sh sh sh yes of course I want the

duck that's marvelous but I mean can you

do one of two

sources wonderful that's it thank you

thank you Andre who talking to Andre

what is it what is it ready to water

battles well stole them stole them what

stole them you stupid woman tell them

some lie what's happening sh will you

have tell me what you're doing we got to

change the menual why why

why listen he's he's out there he's out

he's flat out so Andre is who what who

is out CT who you think hry kissing

you what do you mean out he's drunk

drunk drunk s potted inebriated got it I

don't believe it neither do I perhaps

it's a

dream no it's not a dream we stuck with

it right un need cooking I'll collected

in the car what's he cooking duck duck

duck duck you know

duck I'm so sorry to have kept you

waiting well we'd like to order now yes

quite um my wife would like the lobster

to her excuse me there is one small

thing I'm afraid you were given the

wrong menus uh this is tonight's

manual what uh yes I'm afraid the chef

changed his mind and forgot to tell his

he's like that a brilliant but

temperamental what youve changed

everything I'm afraid so yes it wasn't

good enough so he just chucked it away

he's such a perfectionist the lobster

Lobster tornado you name it it's in the

bin extraordinary yes Lucky Old bin I

say so uh this is your new menu duck

with orange duck with

cherries duck

surprise what's duck surprise uh that's

duck without orange or

cherries I mean is this all that is Duck

um yes done of course the three

extremely different ways and what you do

if you don't like Duck uh well if you

don't like Duck uh you're rather

stuck well fortunately I love it oh good

so uh that's four ducks is

it come on

come

[Music]

[Applause]

on I'm just a girl who can't say no I'm

in a terrible

fix come oh

[Music]

on

stop stop you vicious bastard come

on oh my God I'm Waring you if you don't

stop I'll count to three one

two three right that's it

you've tried it on just once too often

right well don't say I am warned you

I've laid it on the line to you time

time again right well this is it I'm

going to give you a damn good

trashing I can't be prissy and quaint

how can I be what I ain't I can't say

no very good uh any any sign of the duck

oh it's it's just

coming so uncle Ted comes in with his

cattive brown Na and

and mother says oh t look who's here and

he

says okay py okay got the toses got them

right ladies and

gentlemen so sorry I don't CT you

waiting

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

well who's for

trifle what a trifle for you Mrs

hle what about the duck f

Ducks off

sorry are these Germans too oh yes but I

can do right right here's the plan I'll

stand there and ask them if they want

something to drink before the wall

before their

lunch don't mention the

[Laughter]

wall can we help you

are you speak English of course oh

wonderful wonderful oh please allow me

to introduce myself I am the owner of

Faulty Towers and may I welcome your War

your War you War you

war and hope that your stay will be a

happy one now would you like to eat

first or would you like a drink before

the war me that uh trespasses will be uh

tied up with piano Sorry Sorry

the got got tou a shrapnel in the wall

Korean Korean more sorry Korean thank

you we will eat now oh good please do

allow me may I say how pleased we are to

have some Europeans here now that we are

on the continent can I speak to Dr Finn

please I didn't vote for it myself quite

honestly but now that we're in I'm

determined to make it work so I'd like

to welcome you all to Britain the place

is grilled but that doesn't matter

there's life the old thing yet wait a

moment got a bit confused oh yes the

place is grilled in fact the whole

room's a bit warm isn't it I'll open

window have a look and the ve chop is

done with

rosemary funny thought you gone to

Canada and is delicious and nutritious

in fact it's really good really good the

wheel is good yes doesn't matter doesn't

matter never mind maybe have two ex

mayones certainly why not why not indeed

we are all friends now eh a porn

cocktail all in the market together all

difference is forgotten and no need at

all to mention the war sorry

sorry por oh prawn that was it when you

said prawn I thought you said war oh oh

the war oh yes completely slit my mind

yes I forgotten all about a Hitler

himler and all that oh yes completely

forgotten it just like

that sorry what was it again a porn

cocktail oh yes Eva prawn yes and geres

too hardly remember at all and then

pickled harink Herman Goring yes yes and

on ribbon tops that was another one and

four cold meat salads please certainly

well I'll just get your order

or does which must be a bed at all times

without

question will you please call your wife

immediately Sim Sim she's in the

hospital you silly girl yes call her

there I can't I've got too much to do

listen don't mention the War I mentioned

it once but I think I got away with it

all right so it's all forgotten now and

let's hear no more about it so that's

two egg mayonnaise a prawn Gobles a

Herman Goring and four CED

sers wait a minute I got a bit confused

here sorry I got a bit confused cuz

everyone keeps mentioning the war so

could you what's the matter it's all

right is there something wrong will you

stop talking about the war me you

started it we did not start it yes you

did you invaded

Poland yeah yeah this will cheer you up

you'll like this one there's this woman

she's completely stupid she can never

remember anything and her husbands in a

bomber over Berlin oh sorry sorry you

love this leave her alone no this is a

scet i I've never seen anyone not laugh

at this look she'll love it she's

German no Mr P what do jimmyy instead

what Jimmy Kagney Jimmy Kagney you know

you Daddy R I can't do Jimmy Kagney

please try I'm going to get you shut up

yeah watch who's this then St

you I'll do the fun

[Applause]

[Music]

oh no no no no please no no no no

no no there aren't any major it went off

by accident oh come on and oh thank you

thank you so

much fire fire no no yes look will you

get back

now shut up I mean just just get over

the work is fire did you hear what I

said look his fire there no fire is only

drill

think

Fire's out upstairs man well listen

there is no

fire well I will keep the fire

department happy for another 6 months I

mean why we bother will you shut

up thank you ladies and gentlemen you

can come back in

now had it shut up yes I will have you

told CH cheddar Mr this an awful round

yes I know it's a right right thank you

thank you so much for poing your

[Music]

nose right ladies and gentlemen H could

I have everyone down here in the lobby

again sorry sorry sorry to this but

there is something that I think I to

mention um I'm not quite sure how this

has this hotel before and I'm not quite

sure how it's started now what is it

well uh the point is uh can I put it

this way

um

what

fire fire fire fire

[Applause]

bring the aling right

right where's the key where is the key I

mean would you believe it I mean would

you believe it the first time we have

ever had a fire here in this hotel and

somebody's lost the

key this place oh thank you God thank

you so bloody much

[Laughter]

hello thank

[Music]

you man Manel pull pull that pull Guys

open the door

get

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
butter /ˈbʌtər/ A1	noun - a yellowish dairy product made from churned cream
tray /treɪ/ A1	noun - a flat, shallow container used for carrying or displaying items
picture /ˈpɪktʃər/ A1	noun - an image or representation made by drawing, painting, photography, etc.
menu /ˈmɛnjuː/ A2	noun - a list of dishes available in a restaurant
alarm /əˈlɑːrm/ A2	noun - a device that makes a loud sound to warn of danger or to wake someone
guest /ɡɛst/ A2	noun - a person who is invited to stay or eat at another's home or establishment
dinner /ˈdɪnər/ A1	noun - the main meal of the day, usually eaten in the evening
bill /bɪl/ A2	noun - a statement of money owed for goods or services verb - to send someone a statement of money owed
waiter /ˈweɪtər/ A2	noun - a person who serves food and drinks in a restaurant
hotel /hoʊˈtɛl/ A1	noun - a place that provides lodging and meals for travelers
room /ruːm/ A1	noun - a part of a building enclosed by walls, floor, and ceiling
key /kiː/ A1	noun - a small piece of metal used to open or close a lock
fire /ˈfaɪər/ A1	noun - the heat, light, and flame produced by combustion
order /ˈɔːrdər/ B1	noun - a request to purchase something, especially in a restaurant verb - to request something to be supplied or delivered
lunch /lʌntʃ/ A1	noun - a meal eaten in the middle of the day
cheap /tʃiːp/ A2	adjective - low in price; inexpensive
language /ˈlæŋɡwɪdʒ/ B1	noun - a system of words used by a particular group of people to communicate