– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[Music]

merry christmas everyone

and with hot chocolate in hand and tree

in the background

we are going to explore the witty yet

sophisticated art

of the british christmas special

[Music]

[Laughter]

now this was originally going to be a

countdown but

i found that british christmas specials

are so diverse in what they offer in

terms of seasonal spirit that

there's really no point in ranking them

so in no particular order

[Music]

my family has always been an interesting

highlight of british comedy

because if you know anything about

british comedy you'll know that it takes

its roots and often its cues

from theatre which means either

outrageous pageantry or

dramatic subject matter which is why a

lot of british comedies are also

tragedies my family is interesting

because

american comedy with their snappy

dialogue and their gag

driven humor were becoming more and more

popular in the uk

so the bbc decided to restructure their

writer's room

to make american style comedies for

british audiences

it's got all the archetypes we've got

the micromanaging mother the grumpy

father the spoiled daughter the

know-it-all son and the village idiot

and it is very recognizably american in

style

if you take one small scene and count

the jokes they are numerous and rapid

fire

whereas british comedy focuses more on

long setups before it hits you

with the punchline this is not a hard

and fast rule just an interesting

deviation i've noticed

critics didn't think highly of it but

audiences

loved it evidenced by the fact that it

had 11 seasons

which is an eternity by british comedy

standards

though there is a noticeable dip in

quality after season 5.

anyway on to the christmas special

there are all the hallmarks of a typical

american holiday special

mother wants dinner to be perfect father

is indifferent or even outright annoyed

by it

then a problem shows up usually a

relative

mother tries to solve the problem father

tries to ignore it

characters who aren't involved putter

about in the background there is a

bonding moment and everyone sits down to

christmas dinner which is in some way

ruined

it's comfortable it's consumable

it's christmas

[Music]

only fools and horses is one of the most

beloved british sitcoms in history

the basic premise is a wheeling and

dealing wise talker named dale boy who

dreams of becoming a millionaire

and his long-suffering brother rodney

this character is so essential to

british culture that if you come across

as a smart talking wheeler dealer type

you may be called a dale boy in contrast

to american shows that may be more

likely to have their characters slowly

work their way up the ladder

delboy's schemes usually go his way

but he never climbs higher than the step

he was born on

because like stephen fry says

the american comic hero is a wisecracker

who is above his material and who is

above the idiots around him

all the great british comic heroes are

people

who want life to be better and on whom

life craps from a terrible height

and whose sense of dignity is constantly

compromised by the world letting them

down

and that is why british comedies are

also tragedies

even if you win you never move

unless you are very very

lucky so on to the christmas special

it's another uneventful christmas in

poverty stricken london until

dale boy and rodney's deadbeat dad shows

up claiming to have an

illness and suggesting that dale and

rodney get tested

rodney doesn't really remember him so

he's willing to give him the benefit of

the doubt and granddad is just happy to

see his son again

but dale isn't falling for it the

results of their tests come back and

apparently

dell is not his father's son dell goes

through

shock confusion isolation and eventually

suspicion as he decides to investigate

his father's

illness only to find out that he

doctored the results to change dell's

blood group

out of sheer nastiness

he is kicked to the curb but dale even

though he'll swindle you out of your

lunch money

he'll also give you his last penny

damn that is

quite far removed from the comparatively

banal

problem of your young but still adult

daughter coming home pregnant

this one is not full of happy christmas

spirit

but it does embody the importance of

family you love and who love you

and that blood doesn't mean there's a

place for you at the christmas dinner

[Music]

table

the vicar of dubli is the standard

comedy setup of an intelligent person

being surrounded by idiots

the premise is a female vicar assigned

to a very insulated possibly inbred

village parish

you are expecting a bloke beard bible

bad breath

and instead you got a babe with a bobcat

and a magnificent bosom

they are all shocked to get a female

vicar but episode 1 is all that's ever

said about it

the christmas special consists of the

vicar geraldine who is at this point

very beloved in the village

being invited to everyone's christmas

dinners and because she doesn't want to

disappoint anyone

she eats all of them

years ago i was watching a countdown of

the greatest british christmas specials

and the writer of this one

said that comedy is populated by

...

and he wanted to prove that you can make

nice

people funny and well

isn't that just lovely

[Music]

from british politeness to british

cynicism we have black adder

black adder is pretty famous but in case

you don't know

it's a historical sitcom where rowan

atkinson plays the wisecracking

blackadder who will deliver the most

colorful

long-winded insults you have ever heard

ask them who they prefer to meet

squadron commander flash heart and the

man who cleans out the public toilets in

aberdeen

[Music]

as poor as a church mouse that's just

had an enormous tax bill

on the very day his wife ran off with

another mouse taking all the cheese

about the weakest practical joke since

cardinal woolsey got his knob out at

hampton court

and stood at the end of the passage

pretending to be a door

every season takes place in a different

time period making use of class-based

humor and it's so

so clever every season rowan atkinson

plays a different descendant in the line

of blackadder

that is to say a heartless

except for the christmas version

where he is kind and generous

and a complete sucker

he gets visited by a ghost who praises

him for his generosity but inadvertently

reveals to him that if he keeps going

the way he's going

his ancestors will end up destitute

and the story ends with blackadder

learning a valuable lesson

bad guys there have been better stories

from this show

but it's a fun parody of a beloved

christmas story told in its uniquely

black adder way

[Music]

now most entries in this list are

sitcoms

because well they tend to do the best

christmas specials

especially if you're cynical but there

is a different one

i wanted to share with you you know

those cheesy

studio christmas shows where they just

have a host

play games talk to celebrities bring on

singers to sing christmas songs and milk

the season for all it's worth

well we have a tv host duo in britain

called anton deck who are the kind of

guys who can for some reason get away

with telling the dumbest

jokes they would be so unfunny if

said by anyone else but i'll be real

with you

i mostly chose this special because of

this moment

they bring on robbie williams to sing

white christmas and

i don't want to spoil it just watch

and i am fully convinced that he

genuinely didn't know that was going to

happen

and bless him he tries to keep going but

his performance

is over the rest of the special is

really just more of what i said before

but

best christmas prank

ever

[Music]

mrs brown's boys is quite contentious in

current british comedy

if you ask people about it it's either

the funniest thing you've ever seen or

the worst thing to ever grace british tv

it's melodramatic it's for the most part

poorly acted

and it's a one-and-one-out structure of

storytelling

one person comes in conversation the

person leaves

next person comes in conversation leaves

rinse repeat looking at it from that

point of view i can understand why some

people think it's trash

but here's why i think that's unfair

pantomime pantomime is a british theater

tradition of

melodrama absurdity and audience

participation

in the last half century it has mostly

been confined to the christmas season

and for many people including myself

it's an essential part of the season

not this year though it's really hard to

describe panto to someone who hasn't

seen it but it's usually a retelling of

old folk and fairy tales incorporating

fourth wall breaking

pantomime dames which is just men in the

most

obvious drag ever and regional humor

it means that pantos are going to be

wildly different from one city to the

next

and everyone's city is going to think

theirs is the best

though glasgows are the best highlights

of recent years include

ali balbag and cinderella two i married

and umpty

mrs brown's boys is very much like that

the situations

are absurd mrs brown a man in drag by

the way

talks to the audience and even though

it's recorded for tv if the actors make

a mistake

they'll leave it in anymore

did you just bang your breast off the

table now so i have a real fondness for

it especially during christmas time

their best christmas special is the one

with the most standard plot

one of mrs brown's children is a priest

away on the missions

and this will be the first christmas

he's been home in four years

the rest of her children get the news

that he won't be able to make it and

none of them can bear to tell her

meanwhile one of her son's dodgy friends

sells her a live turkey and he keeps

trying to kill it but can't bring

himself to

all the while mrs brown is preparing for

her audition for the nativity play

there is no room at the inn and she said

but i am exhausted

i have come across the desert on my ass

eventually her other son's boyfriend

accidentally tells her that the priest's

son won't be coming home

she gets her part in the nativity i

spend the whole

it ends with all her family around her

and a lovely

christmas surprise there's even a song

at the end

just like there is in pantomime so

this is going to be entirely down to

what you think of this

absurd theater-based style of comedy

and whether this very very british

christmas tradition

holds a special place in your heart

dear red-nosed fat bastard

still game is a scottish comedy because

i just

had to include one here and like i said

about pantomime maybe i'm biased

because it's my region the humor comes

from but

it is hilarious

it's one of those funny because it's

true scenarios

if you've ever met scottish people

especially old scottish men

this is how they interact you're putting

a beef on jack

ah actually every time i shag your wife

she makes me a sandwich

[Laughter]

you have to be quick with a comeback or

you will be eaten

alive and there's also this thing at

least

my family do where you take the piss by

putting on your posh voice

which is really just your normal glasgow

drawl but

more enunciated what would you like

oh that is a big question what would we

like victor oh what would we like jack

we would like it to be warmer than here

and to lose the stale smell of pish

yes and for the decor to be a bit more

inviting

we would like to come in here and no

want to kill ourselves

mr jarvis the gauntlet is down once more

yes i thought furthermore beside it i

place

one shiny golden nugget indeed a king's

ransom

bar keep fetching the arrows

shut it up your prick and give us the

dance

i would like to inform the right

honorable gentleman

that he is an object so that should make

for a pretty festive christmas special

funnily enough this is a pretty standard

christmas story

the main characters jack and victor join

their local community choir and get a

real slagging for it at their local pub

but oh dear asbestos was found in the

community centre so there's no place to

practice

so they convinced the owner of the pub

to give them the function room

meanwhile a friend of theirs winston

works as a lollipop man outside of a

posh school because the parents give him

posh christmas gifts

mean meanwhile one of the more infamous

locals is trying to get a space in the

choir

i was told i'll get the voice of an

angel yeah for any of yous out there who

are under the impression that scottish

people look like

karen gillan or sean connery or jared

butler because

yeah he's called jared not gerard

you are dead wrong you go to some of the

rougher parts of scotland and

you will think i've seen things

the story is not really what's engaging

it's the characters

they like so many people i know can turn

any situation into an excuse to in

colloquial terms

take the piss like when tam tries to

cheat at the slot machine

well she's not a slapper tam she's not

going to get you at home the first night

but there is real heart here too

especially when winston gets switched to

a rough end of town and gets reminded

how hard some kids have it

when the heating breaks causing the

whole choir to lose their voices we get

a very wholesome

but still hilarious ending

[Music]

carry on is a beast of a series in terms

of british culture

there are series of movies ranging from

historical to contemporary to horror

using a pool of the same actors the

weird thing is

despite how old they are you will be

hard-pressed to find someone of my

generation or even younger

who hasn't seen at least one carry-on

film

and the best way i can describe the

humor is british people think

innuendo is really really

really really really really funny it

took me a long time to get all that

in there a bit

my own sister ravaged before my very eye

i demand immediate satisfaction there

seems to be a failing in your family

remember your position thank you

a sextant what are you doing lieutenant

merely showing her my instrument

your what my instrument mom when you

raise it up

[Laughter]

in the air one can tell from its angle

[Music]

one's exact position

[Laughter]

oh i'm really useful the movies

even though they are unconnected are

just so

carry on you've got barbara windsor's

laugh

[Laughter]

said james being a dirty old man if they

get any shorter they'll have two more

cheeks to powder

and the ever famous matron

[Music]

please i'm not that kind of doctor

matron take them away

if you are ever in the unlikely

situation where you produce a double

entendre and a british person says

oh matron you'll know why

so on to the christmas special and for

any of you who think that old british tv

is going to be all proper and

tea and crumpets and all that don't navi

style nonsense no

old british tv is

[Music]

naughty

[Music]

[Applause]

the story is basically a bunch of wealth

of victorians get together in what they

call the pudding

club to celebrate the festive season and

tell tales to pass the time

they proceed to tell their tales all of

which involve some sort of sex

they include a pantomime a christmas

horror mystery

christmas in a british colony and an

authentic

tudor christmas carol

any of the specials i mentioned in this

video that are available on youtube i'll

leave links below but if you're going to

check out the carry-on one be warned

there are jokes in there that just

simply

would not fly today in fact if you're

going to watch the carry-on special just

skip the pantomime section because

glasgow pantomimes are really the only

ones that are worth seeing

[Music]

but if you guys want to know my favorite

british christmas special you have to

look

no further than the royal family

my ass not the one you're thinking of

most of you will know the word sitcom

comes from situation comedy

well this deviates from that because bar

a couple of episodes that include

weddings and birthdays

nothing happens every episode is just

watching people

watching telly i know you're probably

wondering who the hell green led

that but it is based on the truth

that normal people are funny you could

be sitting with your family

and your dad or your granny will come

out with something hilarious

dad stop fiddling with yourself

i'm not fiddling with myself paying a

quid for these underpants got 50 pence

with stuck at my ass

and it's only when looking at normal

conversation from the outside

that you realize how funny it is how was

your dad dave

nice all right yeah

has he still got that dry crevice yeah

it's not the smooth back and forth of

some sitcoms or the absurdity of others

these are things real people say

five pence for the carrier bag it's

disgusting

you could get one of those bags for life

i've got one

just sitting next to you

people repeat what they say a lot

because this is how

real people talk me and my family

love this show we are this

family we are a

slightly more intelligent infinitely

more hygienic

version of this family every now and

then

one of us will come out with something

absolutely hilarious and we will be

rolling on the floor and i will be

thinking we

are the bloody royal family i once said

that i liked ham but i didn't like ham

and pork

i was 11 when i said that and my dad

still hasn't let it go we don't just

love this show we

are the show we quote the damn thing to

each other

and i swear literally before i started

recording this video i was eating mince

pies with brandy clotted cream

with my mum and dad and my mum commented

on how

potent the brandy clotted cream was and

i

said can you taste the ambience in it

mom oh yeah

i don't know if this will be funny to

anyone other than a british working

class family

but it is pure

genius fair point one medium bro the

christmas special sees the royals lazy

daughter denise

actually host christmas she forgets that

the turkey needs to be defrosted

overdoes the potatoes leaves her parents

and her husband's parents to make small

talk before they are rightly and

properly drunk

thankfully they have a solution to that

balloon on blue vodka

blue wicked then seven up you know for

those who don't drink

good idea the conversation is about as

riveting as you would get at any real

christmas dinner table

dave said you were in hospital a few

months ago yes

i've had an unruly bowel barber helen

mirren do you know she's 79 years of age

now

and still picky is ever anti-twig

hasn't your gym got a lovely big head

for hats barbara

ooh everybody says that jocelyn and it

ends with the wife crying over the

dinner

shouting at her husband everyone

politely saying what is edible is

wonderful

and everyone singing like loons

that is the truest depiction

of christmas

[Music]

of course doctor who had to be on this

list somewhere i mean

what do i even say the doctor who

christmas special is practically

essential viewing at this point

so which one did i choose all of them

call it a cop out if you want but every

fan

has a favorite doctor a favorite season

a definitive

version of who they believe the doctor

to be

the same has to be applied to the

christmas specials

some are artistically better than others

but in

terms of what they provide at christmas

well

that's down to you is your idea of

christmas david tennant sword fighting

for the fate of the world

is it matt smith being chased by creepy

snowman

is it peter capaldi being stuck in a

memory library whatever it is

good bad cheesy or disappointing

doctor who is a fixture of christmas

it is a fixture

of christmas and if you would like to

know which one is my favorite

well maybe i'll rank them next year

subscribe merry christmas

and an extra special double merry

christmas to

my patrons spaceman spiff and jake

rittner

and you guys just your support

has been invaluable especially

feedback and just it's so hard to

explain

just how much it means to me because

this has been a year since i've been

doing this

and i can see how i've improved

with people's help and people's

constructive feedback and that makes me

want to keep going

so i promise i will be back in the new

year

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to

tackle

reign of the superman right through to

apocalypse war be

finished with my dc amu retrospective

and hopefully

do far more beyond that

thank you once again everyone and i hope

2021 is a good year for all of us

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
sophisticated səˈfɪstɪkeɪtɪd B2	adjective - highly developed or complex
archetypes ˈɑːrkitʌɪps B2	noun - a very typical example of a certain person or thing
micromanaging ˌmaɪkroʊˈmænɪdʒɪŋ B2	verb - to manage or control every part of a situation or activity in a very detailed way
grumpy ˈɡrʌmpi A2	adjective - bad-tempered and annoyed
spoiled spɔɪld A2	adjective - treated too well and therefore not able to behave well
know-it-all ˈnoʊɪtɔːl A2	noun - a person who annoys others by appearing to know everything
village ˈvɪlɪdʒ A1	noun - a group of houses and other buildings in the countryside, larger than a hamlet
idiot ˈɪdiət A1	noun - a stupid person
recognizably ˈrɛkəɡnaɪzəbli B1	adverb - in a way that can be recognized
rapid-fire ˈræpɪdˈfaɪər B1	adjective - happening very quickly
punchline ˈpʌntʃlaɪn B1	noun - the last part of a joke that makes it funny
deviation ˌdiːviˈeɪʃən B2	noun - the act of moving away from a fixed course or norm
critics ˈkrɪtɪks A2	noun - people who judge the merits of something, especially films, books, or plays
audiences ˈɔːdiənsɪz A2	noun - the people who have come to watch or listen to something
eternity ɪˈtɜːrnəti B1	noun - a long time, or time that seems to have no end
standards ˈstændərdz A2	noun - a level of quality or attainment
hallmarks ˈhɔːlmɑːrks B2	noun - a distinctive characteristic or feature
indifferent ɪnˈdɪfərənt B1	adjective - not caring about something
outrageous aʊtˈreɪdʒəs B1	adjective - very shocking or offensive
pageantry ˈpædʒəntri B2	noun - a display or ceremony that is very impressive or elaborate

Key Grammar Structures

• now this was originally going to be a countdown but i found that british christmas specials are so diverse in what they offer in terms of seasonal spirit that there's really no point in ranking them

  ➔ Use of 'in terms of'

  ➔ The phrase "in terms of" is used to introduce a specific aspect or perspective when discussing something. Here, it highlights the diversity of British Christmas specials in relation to their seasonal spirit.

• american comedy with their snappy dialogue and their gag-driven humor were becoming more and more popular in the uk

  ➔ Use of 'with their'

  ➔ The phrase 'with their' is used to attribute specific qualities to a noun. Here, it links the qualities of snappy dialogue and gag-driven humor to American comedy.

• critics didn't think highly of it but audiences loved it evidenced by the fact that it had 11 seasons

  ➔ Use of 'evidenced by'

  ➔ The phrase 'evidenced by' is used to introduce supporting evidence for a statement. Here, it shows that the show's popularity is proven by its 11 seasons.

• there is a noticeable dip in quality after season 5

  ➔ Use of 'there is'

  ➔ The phrase 'there is' is used to introduce the existence of something. Here, it highlights a noticeable decline in quality after season 5.

• it's comfortable it's consumable it's christmas

  ➔ Use of 'it's'

  ➔ The contraction 'it's' is used to combine 'it is' or 'it has'. Here, it is used repeatedly for emphasis, describing the essence of Christmas.

• because like stephen fry says, the american comic hero is a wisecracker who is above his material and who is above the idiots around him

  ➔ Use of 'who is'

  ➔ The relative pronoun 'who is' is used to provide additional information about the subject. Here, it describes the characteristics of the American comic hero.

• even if you win you never move unless you are very very lucky

  ➔ Use of 'unless'

  ➔ The conjunction 'unless' is used to introduce a condition that negates the main clause. Here, it indicates that moving up is only possible if one is very lucky.

• you are expecting a bloke beard bible bad breath and instead you got a babe with a bobcat and a magnificent bosom

  ➔ Use of 'and instead'

  ➔ The phrase 'and instead' is used to contrast two different outcomes. Here, it highlights the unexpected result of getting a babe instead of a bloke with a beard.

• they are all shocked to get a female vicar but episode 1 is all that's ever said about it

  ➔ Use of 'all that's ever said'

  ➔ The phrase 'all that's ever said' emphasizes that the topic is only briefly mentioned. Here, it indicates that the shock of getting a female vicar is only addressed in episode 1.

• i don't want to spoil it just watch and i am fully convinced that he genuinely didn't know that was going to happen

  ➔ Use of 'that was going to happen'

  ➔ The phrase 'that was going to happen' refers to a future event in the past. Here, it describes the unexpected event that occurred during the performance.