Hey we’re Foil, Arms and Hog.
00:00
and we did once upon a time, an immigration sketch.
00:01
And then we thought, hey,
00:04
This could be a series.
00:05
Yeah, these are funny.
00:06
These are our favorite immigration
sketches.
00:07
First up, we have getting past U.S. Immigration
00:09
Before granting you entry to the United States. We have a few simple questions.
00:16
It's just a formality.
00:20
Okay.
00:21
I'm actually Irish, myself.
00:21
False.
00:23
No, I hadn't started.
00:24
Oh yeah, sorry.
00:27
Question one, the United States is governed by two major parties.
00:28
Uh, can you name them?
00:31
The Gun Lobby and Big Tobacco.
00:32
What is the name of America's National Holiday?
00:33
Black Friday.
00:35
In what state is the city of Chicago?
00:36
State of violence
00:38
What is America's most dominant race?
00:39
The Hundred Meter Butterfly
00:41
Quick fire round, finish these sentences.
00:43
America is the greatest something in the world-
00:45
weapons exporter.
00:47
Martin Luther King had a-
00:48
tough time getting equal rights.
00:49
Finally, the United States was founded in-
00:51
mischievous circumstance surrounding land claims from Indigenous people.
00:53
Welcome to America
00:56
our most successful series.
01:01
And he's got no face time.
01:03
It’s tough guys.
01:05
That's dedication.
01:06
It is though.
01:07
It's the two things you want
most when you're doing a sketch.
01:08
Do I get to sit down, check.
01:10
Do I get to read the script, check.
01:12
The only way it can be better
is if you get to eat.
01:14
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:16
That's the triumvirate right there.
01:17
Sleeping is pretty good in a sketch.
01:19
Sleeping would be great.
01:20
Before granting you Citizenship
01:22
to the United Kingdom,
01:24
you must first pass
01:25
this British Citizenship test
01:26
Question 1:
01:27
The Premier League
01:28
is the showcase of which
01:30
English popular Sport
01:31
Diving.
01:31
Correct.
01:32
What is Britains most popular pastime?
01:33
Queuing
01:35
Name the area where the hightest
01:35
British Population Density is?
01:37
Tenerife.
01:38
What is the current sterling
01:39
conversion rate?
01:39
About 1 goal in every 10 games
01:41
England won the world cup
01:42
in 1966 beating West Germany
01:43
Was that a question?
01:46
No, I just wanted to remind you
01:48
What is Scotland's national dish?
01:49
Deep fried Mars bar
01:51
When was the war of the Roses?
01:53
Last Christmas when Cadbury's
01:54
reduced the size of the tin
01:56
International relations with Jordan
01:57
were at an all time low
01:59
when?
02:00
When she split with Peter Andre
02:01
Name the two great Manchester rivals?
02:02
Liam and Noel
02:05
Pronounce this Welsh word:
02:06
Caath Er Einn
02:09
zeeeta
02:11
Joan
02:11
esss
02:12
Correct
02:13
Which tunnel separates Britain
02:14
from mainland Europe?
02:15
Tunnel Vision.
02:16
What noise to politicians in the
02:17
House of commons make?
02:19
Ughghghghgghghgghghghghghg
02:20
Correct
02:22
What did England win in 1966
02:22
beating West Germany?
02:24
The...World Cup?
02:26
Correct!
02:27
We beat them 4-2
02:28
Which British male was responsible
02:29
for misleading the public over Brexit?
02:31
The Daily Mail
02:33
and the last question....
02:34
How would I....
02:35
Yeah?
02:37
Get myself....
02:37
Yeah..?
02:38
An Irish Passport
02:39
WHAT?!
02:40
Isn’t it nice to see what he looks like?
02:42
Yeah. Very important.
02:44
You know, some of the best
02:45
back of head acting you're going to see
in the industry
02:47
That nape.
02:49
What a nape. I know.
02:51
Thank you.
02:51
Yeah.
02:52
You took that acting with clipboard course.
02:53
I did.
02:55
Yeah.
02:55
8 grand it was, a three week intensive.
02:56
They have obviously the four year
part time or the two year full time.
02:59
But I just. I mean,
it was just very demanding. Yeah, Yeah.
03:02
Before granting you entry to Italy
03:05
you must first answer these simple questions
03:07
What are the three official languages of Italy?
03:09
Italian
03:12
Sicilian
03:13
and speaking with your hands
03:14
Yes
03:15
On which side of the road do they drive in Italy?
03:16
Both
03:19
Yes
03:19
How do Italians like to start the day?
03:20
With an espresso
03:22
and an argument
03:23
Yes
03:24
Who secretly holds all the power in Italian society?
03:25
The mothers
03:28
Yes
03:29
What is the most terrifying thing
03:29
for an Italian to wake up to find lying in their bed?
03:31
Silvio Berlusconi
03:35
Yes certainly
03:36
What far-right leaning institution
03:37
is well supported in Italy?
03:39
The leaning Tower of Pisa
03:41
Yes
03:42
Where can you find The Statue of David?
03:43
The LA Galaxy Stadium in Los Angeles
03:46
Yes
03:47
Name the beautiful saucy yet complex
03:48
Italian dish Italy is famous for
03:51
Monica Bellucci
03:53
Yes
03:54
Name Italy's biggest bank
03:55
The Trevi Fountain
03:57
Yes
03:58
What city within Italy is frozen in time
03:59
due to a terrible act of God?
04:01
Vatican City
04:03
Yes
04:04
What sentimental item do most elderly Italian women
04:05
keep in their homes?
04:09
Their middle-aged sons
04:10
Yes certainly
04:11
I think I'll move out some day
04:12
What can erupt in Italy at any time?
04:14
Football violence
04:18
What is the national sport in Italy?
04:19
Diving
04:21
Where in Italy are you most likely to be robbed?
04:22
In a taxi
04:24
Finally
04:25
where are tourists in Italy required to
04:26
observe local customs?
04:27
When in Rome?
04:32
Yes
04:32
Unfortunately your visa has been declined
04:33
What?
04:36
But
04:39
Welcome to Italy
04:42
Yeah
04:44
Grazie mille!
04:47
One of the main gripes that
the Italian’s had
04:48
with the Italian immigration was
04:50
the bribe at the end.
04:51
They felt that €50 wasn’t enough.
04:52
Yeah, that they’d up it!
04:54
They’re not gonna be bought so cheaply, yeah.
04:56
We’re not cheap, yeah!
04:59
How dare you.
05:01
In Ireland, it would have been in
a brown envelope.
05:03
That’s the only difference.
05:05
Sounded like you were shocked.
05:06
*various shocked noises*
05:07
Next up, we have getting past
Spanish Immigration.
05:10
Before granting you entry to Spain
05:13
you must first answer these simple questions.
05:14
What is Spain's biggest export?
05:17
Spanish students.
05:19
Si.
05:20
What is Spain's biggest import?
05:20
Irish criminals.
05:22
Si.
05:23
How do you describe Spanish architecture?
05:24
A bit gaudy /Gaudí.
05:26
Si.
05:27
Where do you find the majority of the Spanish workforce?
05:28
In bed.
05:30
Si.
05:30
Construction of the Sagrada Familia Cathedral began in 1886,
05:31
and was finished when?
05:34
Any day now.
05:36
Si.
05:37
What is considered the most magnificent villa in all of Spain?
05:37
David Villa.
05:41
Si.
05:41
What traditional, barbaric act, is still legal
in Spain?
05:42
Calling a Catalonian Spanish.
05:45
Where do tourists part with most of their money in Spain?
05:47
Walking up La Rambla.
05:50
Si.
05:51
In Spain which bin do you use to discard food waste?
05:52
The Paella pan.
05:56
Si.
05:56
What two groups in Spain have caused unrest,
05:57
and clashed with authorities over the years?
05:59
Real Madrid and Barcelona.
06:01
Si.
06:03
Where do you go if you commit tax fraud in Spain?
06:03
Home.
06:06
Si.
06:07
What famous Spanish cruise do tourists
flock to?
06:07
Penelope.
06:10
Si.
06:11
Name Spain's most notorious serial killer.
06:11
Bull fighter José Tomás.
06:14
Si.
06:16
How would you describe Tapas?
06:16
A bit of everything.
06:18
Si.
06:19
How would you describe paella?
06:20
A bit of everything.
06:22
Si.
06:22
What resources did Spain extract from its colonies?
06:23
TOGETHER: A bit of everything?
06:27
Si!
06:28
Welcome to Spain!
06:29
Great!
06:30
I will sign your papers
06:31
but not now, it's the middle of the day.
06:32
So... good night.
06:34
This is the middle of the day.
06:38
Yeah.
06:39
Maybe we can just take the form...
06:41
*Makes a sudden noise*
06:44
*Genuinely frightened, not acting*
06:45
*Laughter*
06:46
DoomDah!!!
06:47
Next up is getting past
Swiss Immigration.
06:48
He got a lot of hate about
the Swiss accent.
06:51
Well okay so.
Not hate, questions.
06:54
Well, can I just say, right.
06:56
At first I went
06:57
♫ Really with the musical Swiss accent ♫
06:58
And you guys were like
07:01
And in fairness you were right, I’m not
saying you were wrong.
07:02
But you were like
07:04
That’s like obviously distracting
to the rest of the sketch.
07:04
So I had to tone it down
07:08
And then of course they were like
07:09
Well it sounds just German, or it
doesn’t sound, yknow.
07:10
Well look let this be the thing that people
will judge it on.
07:13
Do the one that you wanted to do.
07:16
With no practice!
07:18
*This is certainly an attempt*
07:19
HELLO, I AM FROM SWITZERLAND
(Arms dying from painful accent)
07:21
(This is definitely a Swiss accent)
07:23
I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!
07:27
Before granting your entry to Switzerland
07:29
you must first answer these questions correctly
07:31
What are the three main languages of Switzerland?
07:34
French
07:37
German
07:37
and secrets
07:38
Correct
07:39
What is the most famous mountain peak in Switzerland?
07:40
The Toblerone one
07:42
Correct
07:43
What is the most powerful defensive weapon
07:44
in the Swiss Army?
07:46
The Alps
07:47
Correct
07:48
Name the weakest weapon in the Swiss Army
07:48
The tweezers
07:51
Correct
07:51
What has a large amount of holes and hardly any cheese?
07:52
Credit Suisse Investment Bank
07:55
Correct
07:57
What is one of the biggest pluses about
07:57
moving to Switzerland?
07:59
The flag
08:01
Yes
08:01
Despite having no coastline
08:02
Switzerland has a large amount of?
08:04
Offshore bank accounts
08:05
Yeah
08:06
What's Swiss institution accelerates objects at such
08:07
speeds that they collide and separate as molecules
08:10
Roger Federer's backhand
08:13
Correct
08:15
Why do people travel to Switzerland to meditate?
08:16
To enter a neutral state
08:19
Yeah
08:20
The cuckoo clock originated in Germany
08:21
Sorry is that a question?
08:27
No I'm just reminding you
08:28
Switzerland has a long tradition of culinary innovation
08:30
what is its biggest accolade?
08:33
The world's most expensive Big Mac
08:35
You are correct
08:37
Which dropped set still haunts Roger Federer?
08:38
His fondue set
08:41
Yeah he was very upset
08:42
Finally what is the most ridiculous looking Swiss watch company?
08:44
The Swiss Guard
08:48
Yeah
08:49
Welcome to Switzerland
08:50
Just hold on a moment while I contact my superiors okay
08:52
This next
one is getting past Canadian immigration.
09:16
And this is the one that I tried
hardest with the accent.
09:18
I really tried not to say aboot.
09:21
I looked it up.
09:23
I really, it goes about.
09:24
It's about it's about time
09:27
And still people were like, we don’t say aboot.
09:29
I was like, I'm not saying aboot.
09:31
I'm saying about!
09:32
Can’t win, can’t win.
09:32
Subtle.
09:34
We were good in it.
09:34
Nailed that accent.
09:36
Yeah, I’m doing it now.
09:37
Before granting you entry to Canada
09:41
I have a few simple questions
09:42
Where is the capital of Canada not found?
09:44
Toronto
09:47
Correct
09:48
What do Canadians fear more than
09:49
bear attacks eh?
09:50
Being confused for Americans
09:51
That's right
09:53
Which sticky liquid that Canada is famous for
09:53
if consumed in large amounts
09:55
can be bad for your health?
09:57
Crude oil
09:59
That's correct
10:00
Which iconic leaf symbolizes Canada?
10:00
The cannabis leaf
10:02
Correct
10:03
At least two-thirds of Canada
10:04
is covered in what throughout the year?
10:05
Maple syrup
10:08
Correct
10:08
What highly aggressive sport
10:09
played on the ice is Canada well known for
10:11
Seal clubbing
10:14
Correct
10:14
What natural wonder
10:15
flows from the Canadian border
10:16
into The United States?
10:18
Marijuana
10:19
Correct
10:20
What do Canadians do more than any other
10:21
people in the world?
10:22
Apologize
10:23
No play ice hockey
10:24
Oh sorry yeah
10:25
No no no I'm sorry
10:27
No it was a good answer
10:28
Sorry no you're right
10:29
The iconic Canadian dish
10:31
poutine of french fries, gravy and cheese
10:32
is primarily consumed in which state?
10:35
Drunkenness
10:37
Correct
10:38
Canada is next to which beautiful
10:39
but inhospitable region?
10:41
The United States of America
10:42
Correct
10:43
What is the most common type of moose
10:44
found here in Canada?
10:46
Pantene Pro-V
10:48
Yeah that's right
10:49
It sits right up there with Tresemmé
10:50
In what part of Canada
10:52
were the land claims of indigenous people
10:53
taken seriously?
10:55
None of it
10:57
That's correct
10:58
The Territory of Nunavut
10:59
Now in Canada
11:00
Do we say about
11:01
or aboot?
11:03
About
11:05
No no we say a boot
11:06
and Canada's cold so when you're
11:08
out and about make sure you wear a boot
11:09
Next question
11:11
Do a Newfoundland accent
11:12
What? That's not fair
11:14
I wouldn't know where to start
11:15
Wow that's absolutely perfect
11:16
And finally
11:18
What do Ryan Gosling
11:18
Celine Dion
11:20
Jim Carrey
11:20
Michael J Fox
11:21
Pamela Anderson
11:22
Drake
11:23
and Keanu Reeves have in common?
11:23
They're
11:26
famous
11:27
Yes but not that something else
11:28
Something to do with Canada
11:31
They
11:34
visited Canada?
11:35
No they're Canadian
11:36
What?
11:37
Really?
11:38
Yeah why does everyone think our best people
11:39
are American?
11:40
All Canadian?
11:41
Yeah
11:42
Wow
11:42
You didn't know that?
11:43
No sorry
11:44
No I'm sorry
11:45
but it gets pretty annoying after a while
11:46
Right
11:47
Yeah
11:48
Oh Justin Bieber he's Canadian
11:49
No I don't think he is
11:50
No I'm pretty sure Bieber is Canadian
11:51
Anyway welcome to Canada
11:53
He is Canadian
11:54
Bye-dee bye now
11:55
There's the door boys
11:56
Are you sure he's not?
11:56
He's definitely Canadian though
11:57
I'll give ya a boot lets go
11:58
Doomdah
11:59
Best thing aboot Canadian immigration was that
12:00
when we were on tour going into Canada
we got pulled by an immigration officer
12:02
and the first thing he said to us
was?
12:07
Before granting you entry to Canada,
12:09
I’ve just got a few simple questions.
12:10
What a legend, what a legend.
12:11
Because you get pulled by immigration,
you get a bit tense. Yeah.
12:14
And then immediately
it's hilarious. Release. Yeah.
12:16
Then we offered him tickets for the show
and then we realized, oh, that.
12:19
That could be bribery as an official.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:22
And then you get tense. Yeah. Yeah.
12:25
But then he turned up for the show anyway,
12:27
and then you release.
12:28
That's actually the second time
we've offered tickets to a Customs
12:29
official offer. Like,
just kind of just asking.
12:31
Oh sure we’ll get you tickets.
12:33
You can't. There's a reason.
12:34
Oh god yeah!
12:35
Get down on the floor.
12:37
Next up, we are going to Ireland.
12:38
We're staying here. It's
Ireland. It's Irish Immigration. Yes,
12:40
Before granting you entry to The Republic of
Ireland
12:44
I just have a few simple questions
12:46
It's just a formality
12:48
Name three Irish rivers
12:50
River Shannon, River Liffey and
12:52
River Dance
12:54
Correct
12:55
When is Summer in Ireland?
12:55
The 15th to the 23rd
12:57
of July
12:58
Correct
12:59
What are Ireland's national sports?
13:00
Gaelic football
13:02
hurling and
13:03
binge drinking
13:04
Correct
13:05
What is Ireland's national dish?
13:06
Niall Horan
13:08
He is
13:09
What are the two predominant religions in Ireland?
13:10
Man United
13:12
and Liverpool
13:12
They are
13:13
How many counties are there in Ireland?
13:14
Thirty two
13:16
How many accents are there in Ireland?
13:16
Thirty two thousand
13:18
Yes
13:19
The current Irish government is a coalition of
13:20
which three parties?
13:22
Apple, Facebook
13:23
and Google
13:24
Yes
13:25
Name the area with the highest Irish
13:25
population density
13:27
London
13:28
Correct
13:29
What time zone does Ireland run on?
13:29
Five minutes past
13:31
when it should be
13:32
Yes
13:33
Where will you go if you defraud the government in Ireland?
13:34
Prison
13:36
Where will you go if you defraud the taxpayer in Ireland?
13:37
Spain
13:39
Yes
13:39
Who came to power following
13:40
Irish independence from Great Britain?
13:41
The Catholic Church
13:43
They did
13:44
What is Ireland's biggest export?
13:45
Nurses
13:46
What is Ireland's biggest import?
13:47
Landlords
13:48
What is the current street value
13:49
of crack in Ireland?
13:51
90
13:52
The craic is 90.
13:53
Now for the Irish language section
13:54
OK
13:56
Go ahead
13:57
What?
13:59
OK
13:59
Go ahead
14:01
Sorry I don't speak Irish
14:02
Jesus
14:04
OK
14:05
Now for the practical
14:05
Please pour a pint of Guinness from this can
14:07
No wait
14:09
Never drink Guinness
14:11
from a can
14:12
Correct
14:13
Welcome to Ireland lads
14:14
Wahey!
14:15
Of course that was starring Emman Idama
14:24
and our good friend Paul Tylak.
14:26
Not that Emman isn’t our good friend.
14:28
It’s just kind of the way
the sentence was structured.
14:30
We've known Paul longer.
14:31
We have known Paul longer, to be fair.
14:33
Both of them were excellent.
14:36
Yeah, wonderful.
14:37
And they arrived with their lines,
learned.
14:38
I mean,
14:40
These chumps here, like
14:42
I have a script fair enough, right.
14:43
But you know-
What do you mean fair enough?
14:44
Well I have to know what the line,
14:47
Someone has to be in charge,
14:48
You know, I’ve a good mind not to let you
through immigration next time.
14:51
I don't want
take anything away from Paul and Emman.
14:54
They were great but, yeah.
14:56
Especially the Irish dancing.
14:57
I think this infighting
is sullying their performance.
14:59
Yeah, it's. It's drawing away.
15:01
This one is getting past
Paris immigration.
15:03
I mean, French immigration.
15:05
That’ll really annoy the French because,
15:07
Yeah, we always label them as Parisian.
15:09
We're not Parisian.
We're French. Yeah, true, true.
15:11
Hello
15:13
before granting you entry to France
15:14
you must first answer these questions
15:16
I will ask you the questions in English
15:18
but I am not happy about it
15:20
Question one
15:23
What is France's national sport?
15:25
Protesting
15:27
Yes
15:28
When do French people like to take their lunch?
15:28
Between nine and five p.m
15:31
Yes
15:32
What is France's largest export?
15:33
Secondhand smoke
15:35
Yes
15:36
What are people from Paris traditionally called?
15:37
Rude
15:39
Yes
15:40
What French monument do millions flock to
15:41
every year?
15:43
The Statue of Liberty
15:44
Yes
15:45
Who is France's biggest ever movie star?
15:46
André The Giant
15:48
Yes
15:49
Name one French handball champion
15:50
Thierry Henry
15:53
Yes
15:53
Why is the French national anthem regarded as one of
15:54
the best in the world?
15:56
Oh because it's
15:57
harder
15:58
better
15:59
faster stronger
15:59
Yes
16:00
Name a temperamental French model
16:01
known for having near constant breakdowns
16:03
The Renault 5
16:06
Yes
16:06
What famous French invention used to cut people
16:07
at the neck
16:10
has spilled much blood
16:11
over the years
16:13
The BIC shaving razor?
16:14
Yes
16:15
What was the defensive line along the German border
16:16
called in 1930?
16:18
Naive
16:20
Yes
16:21
Who went too far into Russia
16:22
before rapidly retreating when the tide
16:24
turned against them?
16:26
Marion Le Pen
16:28
Yes
16:29
Which minority within France
16:30
are stereotypes for their drug abuse?
16:32
Cyclists
16:34
Yes
16:35
After a long day at work where do the French
16:36
like to visit?
16:37
Their neighbor's spouse
16:39
Yes you passed the test
16:40
Great
16:42
So we can go?
16:43
I'll let you know tomorrow
16:44
Oh you just have to process it or?
16:45
No no no
16:47
I'm going on my lunch
16:48
This next one is getting passed.
16:51
Australian immigration,
which I've done in a New Zealand accent
16:53
or I've tried to because most people said
I did a New Zealand accent anyway.
16:55
It’s like
16:59
What's the point?!
16:59
Right boys before granting you entry
to Australia
17:01
you must first answer these simple questions
17:03
Okay yeah
17:05
What is the official language of the State of Australia?
17:06
Foul language
17:08
Correct
17:09
What months are Australia's Summer months?
17:10
January
17:12
February
17:13
March
17:14
April May June July
17:14
August September October
17:16
November December
17:17
Correct
17:17
When Australians say they are watching the footie
17:18
What are they doing?
17:20
Drinking
17:21
Yeah
17:21
What is Australia's most popular wine?
17:22
That they're constantly confused
17:24
with New Zealanders
17:25
Correct
17:26
Who are Australia's most well-known
17:27
hard rock artists?
17:28
The Aboriginal People
17:30
Correct
17:31
What endangered species can be found
17:32
on Bondi Beach?
17:33
Sun burnt Irish people
17:34
Yeah
17:35
Which Queen still represents Australia?
17:36
Priscilla Queen of the Desert
17:38
She does
17:39
What are the Australian soccer team
17:40
more commonly known as?
17:41
Shite
17:42
Yeah
17:43
Did you enjoy Mad Max Fury Road?
17:44
Yes
17:46
That's the correct answer
17:47
Australia fundamentally disagrees with the
17:48
international community on which
17:50
important issue
17:51
Vegemite
17:53
Correct
17:53
Which recurring event wreaks havoc and devastation
17:54
throughout Australia each and every year?
17:57
Australia Day
17:58
Correct
17:59
What is Australia's biggest import?
18:00
Backpackers
18:02
What is Australia's biggest export?
18:02
Backpackers who overstayed their visa
18:04
Congratulations boys you passed the test
18:06
Yes
18:08
Unfortunately though you're still being deported
18:09
What no why?
18:10
We found a whole bunch of sausages in your bag
18:12
I quite
18:16
liked the Australian immigration
ending there with the sausages.
18:16
If you know, the whole bunch of sausages.
18:19
But, but apparently we got that wrong
because we should have said bangers.
18:20
Oh a bunch of bangers in your bag.
18:24
Oh, they say the English bangers.
18:26
Okay. Hm.
18:29
See that's the great thing about
these sketches is you're always learning,
18:31
Always learning.
18:34
So cultured,
Ever the student.
18:35
It's also the worst thing
about these sketches because you have to do so much
18:38
research, we've never had to work harder
to write a joke.
18:40
Next up, we have Dutch immigration.
18:45
Before granting you entry
18:49
you must first answer some simple questions
18:50
First one is easy
18:52
if you're Dutch you're from which country?
18:53
Deutschland
18:55
What?
18:56
No Dutchland
18:56
Dutchland?
18:57
Holland
18:58
No
18:58
The Netherlands
18:59
Oh
19:00
Yeah the Netherlands
19:01
They're going to get more difficult
19:02
The second question
19:04
Which seedy industry
19:05
is the Netherlands well known for?
19:06
Oh yeah
19:08
The flower industry
19:09
What controversial herb is consumed
19:10
openly here in the Netherlands
19:12
much to the disgust of outsiders
19:13
Licorice
19:15
Yeah
19:16
Which type of bicycles are most commonly
19:17
seen in the Netherlands
19:18
Stolen ones
19:19
Yeah
19:20
What is the Netherlands largest import?
19:21
Tax avoiders
19:23
What is the Netherlands' largest export?
19:24
Oh postcards
19:25
with windmills
19:26
Yeah
19:27
In history what do you call the area of the Netherlands
19:27
that was controversially claimed from the sea?
19:30
Indonesia
19:32
Yeah
19:32
Who did the Dutch football team knockout
19:33
of the last 16 in the World Cup in 1994?
19:35
Ireland
19:38
Why is that question there?
19:40
No I just thought I'd throw it in
19:41
Where do you purchase marijuana in the Netherlands?
19:43
Coffeeshops
19:46
Where do you buy coffee in the Netherlands
19:46
Anywhere else
19:48
Yeah
19:49
By 2050 the Dutch minister of the environment
19:49
expects the whole country to be 100% what?
19:51
Underwater
19:54
Yeah
19:54
What is the largest fan base
19:56
in the Netherlands?
19:57
Soccer
19:59
No windmills
19:59
What is the fastest way to get to The Hague
20:01
from Maastricht?
20:03
Commit a war crime
20:04
Yeah
20:05
What would Dutch citizens
20:06
like to finally see de-legalized?
20:07
André Rieu concerts
20:10
Yeah we've had enough
20:11
Finally what do people from all over the world
20:12
travel to Amsterdam to see?
20:14
Come on
20:17
We both know what we're talking about
20:18
Yeah
20:20
It's obvious
20:21
Sure
20:22
The bridges
20:23
Bridges
20:23
The bridges
20:24
Yeah
20:26
Torensluis Brug
20:26
Magere Brug
20:27
Blauwbrug
20:28
Lekkeresluis Brug
20:29
Lekkertisr...
20:29
Lekkertisr... is my favourite
20:30
You guys are going to have a good time
20:32
Yeah
20:33
We're going to check out those bridges
20:34
Yeah OK
20:35
We'll do that now
20:36
Doomdah
20:36
See he has it hard though.
20:38
He has to do every single accent
for every single country that we do.
20:39
And also he has to read all his lines
from the clipboard.
20:42
Hey, don't be telling the secrets.
20:46
Next up, we have Scottish immigration.
20:48
Right lads, before granting you entry to Scotland
20:50
You must first answer these simple questions
20:53
What is the main language spoken here in Scotland?
20:55
What?
20:59
What is the main language spoken in Scotland?
21:00
English
21:04
The questions are going to get more difficult boys
21:06
What was chosen as the national flower of Scotland?
21:09
A weed
21:12
Aye
21:13
Who has done more for Scottish independence
21:13
in the last five years than anybody else?
21:16
Boris Johnson
21:18
Aye
21:18
What piercing high-pitched Scottish music
21:19
somehow still remains popular to this day?
21:21
Travis?
21:24
Aye
21:24
What is the most celebrated sporting result
21:25
in Scottish history?
21:27
When
21:28
England lost the Euro 2020 Final
21:29
Aye good times
21:31
What is apparently safe enough to store
21:33
in Scotland
21:34
but dangerous enough to protect England?
21:35
Trident nuclear warheads
21:38
Aye safe my arse
21:39
The Old Firm Derby is a rivalry in which popular sport?
21:41
Boxing
21:44
Aye
21:45
Traditionally in sporting events
21:46
if a Scottish person wins they are known as?
21:47
British
21:50
Aye and if they lose?
21:50
Scottish
21:52
Go figure
21:52
Which beloved fictional character
21:54
in literature and then film
21:56
was inspired by the city of Edinburgh?
21:57
Spud from 'Trainspotting'
22:00
Aye
22:01
What former Scottish leader is accused of spreading
22:02
Disinformation?
22:05
Mel Gibson
22:06
Bastard
22:07
What monster is Scotland famous for?
22:08
Frankie Boyle
22:11
Legend
22:11
Which nation
22:13
invented whiskey?
22:14
Not England
22:20
I'll accept that
22:21
And finally the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the biggest
22:23
what in the world?
22:26
The biggest arts festival
22:27
No pain in the [ __ ] arse
22:28
We're doing a show would you like a flyer?
22:30
No I wouldn't like a flyer
22:32
Get out!
22:33
It's 9.15pm in Bristol Square
22:34
Out!
22:36
McEwan Hall if you want to check it out
22:36
Are you sure it's called 'Hogwash'
22:38
Get out!!!
22:39
Don't be one of the people that points out
there's
22:42
actually no Scottish immigration
because it's a general like UK.
22:43
It's not, you missing the -
22:47
(Foil grumbles)
22:50
Next we got Indian immigration,
22:51
and this was the biggest sketch
ever for us on Facebook, I believe.
22:52
And what a great Indian accent
you did.
22:58
It wasn’t me.
23:00
It was, it was!
23:01
Throwing me under the bus!
23:02
Before granting your entry to India
23:03
you must first answer some simple questions
23:05
Where do tourists spend most of their time in India?
23:08
The toilet
23:10
Correct
23:11
Name the three main religions in India
23:12
Hindu, Muslim and
23:14
Cricket
23:17
Correct
23:17
When did British rule end in India?
23:18
In 1947
23:20
and when did Indian rule begin in Britain?
23:21
Just this week
23:24
Correct
23:25
India has a history of non-violent
23:26
passive resistance protest
23:28
What does it also have?
23:30
160 nuclear warheads
23:31
Correct
23:33
What do tourists often find when visiting India?
23:34
Themselves
23:37
Correct
23:38
Where can you go to get finger food in India?
23:39
Anywhere
23:42
Where in India would you go to see a portrayal
23:45
of an idealized vision of Indian life
23:47
full of overacting and dramatic fight scenes
23:49
The Indian Parliament
23:52
Yes
23:53
Name one of India's greatest treasures
23:54
The English Crown Jewels
23:56
How are actors in Bollywood movies selected?
23:58
The caste system
24:02
Indeed
24:03
What poses the greatest challenge in India today?
24:04
Probably
24:08
the Lotus pose
24:09
Yes very hard to tuck the feet in
24:10
Which famous board game played on a grid
24:13
and invented in India
24:16
has captivated the world's greatest minds
24:17
for centuries?
24:19
Snakes and ladders
24:21
Correct
24:22
name the disputed region between India and Pakistan
24:23
that causes riots and fatalities every year
24:26
The wicket
24:29
and finally who brought the world
24:31
Chicken Tikka Masala?
24:33
Scotland
24:35
Yes for the last time
24:36
okay congratulations gentlemen
24:38
and welcome to India
24:40
Oh okay well that was easy yeah
24:41
Just some very simple forms to fill in
24:43
Yeah sure...
24:46
There you go
24:47
All of them?
24:49
Yes that's all of his ones
24:50
and yours are on the way
24:52
and the last one in the series
24:53
is Brazilian immigration.
24:56
Spanish or Portuguese?
24:57
I can never remember.
24:58
I know it's
the joke is in the sketch show.
25:00
But I can never remember.
25:02
I thought you were joking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Portuguese.
25:03
Before granting you entry to Brazil
25:06
you must first answer these simple questions
25:07
What is not the capital of Brazil?
25:10
Rio de Janeiro
25:12
Correct
25:13
What currently divides Brazil?
25:13
The Equator
25:15
Correct
25:16
What is Brazil's national pastime
25:16
witnessed on beaches field and even
25:18
the middle of the street
25:20
Plastic surgery
25:21
Correct
25:22
Where do the majority of Brazilian citizens go to
25:22
worship?
25:25
The football pitch
25:25
Correct
25:26
What once covered the entirety of the bottom
25:27
of Brazil but now just covers
25:29
a thin band in the middle?
25:31
The Bikini Bottom
25:32
Correct
25:33
What nut is Brazil famous for?
25:34
Bolsonaro
25:36
Yeah
25:36
Name the ancient tribe who ruled over parts
25:37
of Brazil once known for their savagery
25:39
The Portuguese
25:41
Yeah
25:42
Who won...
25:43
Brazil
25:43
Correct
25:44
Which Ronaldo?
25:45
The Brazilian one
25:46
Yes
25:47
What is the most feared and
25:47
brutal gang on the streets of Brazil?
25:49
Oh the Polícia Militar
25:51
Yeah
25:53
One of the world's most feared forms
25:53
of martial arts Capoeira began in Brazil
25:55
but what are its fighters called?
25:57
Dancers
26:00
Yeah don't say that to their faces though
26:01
what is the name given for the cutting down of
26:03
large amounts of jungle to create an airstrip?
26:04
The Brazilian wax
26:08
Deforestation
26:09
What the hell is wrong with you?
26:10
Now finally
26:11
Name a famous Brazilian footballer
26:12
MMA fighter, singer,
26:13
Judo Champion, environmentalist,
26:15
and finally president
26:17
Okay
26:18
Silva
26:20
Silva
26:20
Silva
26:21
Silva
26:21
Silva...
26:22
da Silva
26:23
Correct
26:24
welcome to Brazil
26:24
Gracias Senór
26:26
Buenos días
26:27
Adiós amigo
26:28
What's wrong with you
26:30
we don't speak Spanish
26:30
There you go.
26:33
You just watched all of our immigration
sketches.
26:34
Hope you enjoyed them
as much as we did doing them.
26:36
If there’s a country that you think
we've missed out on, you know, let us know
26:40
One that maybe is not going to get us shot
and another one
26:44
that won’t get us thrown in prison
for a trumped up
26:48
crime upon arrival in said airport.
26:51
Oh, the chair went!
26:54
Oh is it gone?
26:56
We're saying we're staying.
We're not moving.
26:58
Okay, wow, tenterhooks.
27:02
Yeah.
27:04
We're sitting on top
27:04
of like five cushions
to bring us up to the level of the camera.
27:05
And the chair below is really on its last,
literally on its last legs.
27:08
Doomdah.
27:14
Lyrics & Translation
[English]
Hey we’re Foil, Arms and Hog.
and we did once upon a time, an immigration sketch.
And then we thought, hey,
This could be a series.
Yeah, these are funny.
These are our favorite immigration
sketches.
First up, we have getting past U.S. Immigration
Before granting you entry to the United States. We have a few simple questions.
It's just a formality.
Okay.
I'm actually Irish, myself.
False.
No, I hadn't started.
Oh yeah, sorry.
Question one, the United States is governed by two major parties.
Uh, can you name them?
The Gun Lobby and Big Tobacco.
What is the name of America's National Holiday?
Black Friday.
In what state is the city of Chicago?
State of violence
What is America's most dominant race?
The Hundred Meter Butterfly
Quick fire round, finish these sentences.
America is the greatest something in the world-
weapons exporter.
Martin Luther King had a-
tough time getting equal rights.
Finally, the United States was founded in-
mischievous circumstance surrounding land claims from Indigenous people.
Welcome to America
our most successful series.
And he's got no face time.
It’s tough guys.
That's dedication.
It is though.
It's the two things you want
most when you're doing a sketch.
Do I get to sit down, check.
Do I get to read the script, check.
The only way it can be better
is if you get to eat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the triumvirate right there.
Sleeping is pretty good in a sketch.
Sleeping would be great.
Before granting you Citizenship
to the United Kingdom,
you must first pass
this British Citizenship test
Question 1:
The Premier League
is the showcase of which
English popular Sport
Diving.
Correct.
What is Britains most popular pastime?
Queuing
Name the area where the hightest
British Population Density is?
Tenerife.
What is the current sterling
conversion rate?
About 1 goal in every 10 games
England won the world cup
in 1966 beating West Germany
Was that a question?
No, I just wanted to remind you
What is Scotland's national dish?
Deep fried Mars bar
When was the war of the Roses?
Last Christmas when Cadbury's
reduced the size of the tin
International relations with Jordan
were at an all time low
when?
When she split with Peter Andre
Name the two great Manchester rivals?
Liam and Noel
Pronounce this Welsh word:
Caath Er Einn
zeeeta
Joan
esss
Correct
Which tunnel separates Britain
from mainland Europe?
Tunnel Vision.
What noise to politicians in the
House of commons make?
Ughghghghgghghgghghghghghg
Correct
What did England win in 1966
beating West Germany?
The...World Cup?
Correct!
We beat them 4-2
Which British male was responsible
for misleading the public over Brexit?
The Daily Mail
and the last question....
How would I....
Yeah?
Get myself....
Yeah..?
An Irish Passport
WHAT?!
Isn’t it nice to see what he looks like?
Yeah. Very important.
You know, some of the best
back of head acting you're going to see
in the industry
That nape.
What a nape. I know.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You took that acting with clipboard course.
I did.
Yeah.
8 grand it was, a three week intensive.
They have obviously the four year
part time or the two year full time.
But I just. I mean,
it was just very demanding. Yeah, Yeah.
Before granting you entry to Italy
you must first answer these simple questions
What are the three official languages of Italy?
Italian
Sicilian
and speaking with your hands
Yes
On which side of the road do they drive in Italy?
Both
Yes
How do Italians like to start the day?
With an espresso
and an argument
Yes
Who secretly holds all the power in Italian society?
The mothers
Yes
What is the most terrifying thing
for an Italian to wake up to find lying in their bed?
Silvio Berlusconi
Yes certainly
What far-right leaning institution
is well supported in Italy?
The leaning Tower of Pisa
Yes
Where can you find The Statue of David?
The LA Galaxy Stadium in Los Angeles
Yes
Name the beautiful saucy yet complex
Italian dish Italy is famous for
Monica Bellucci
Yes
Name Italy's biggest bank
The Trevi Fountain
Yes
What city within Italy is frozen in time
due to a terrible act of God?
Vatican City
Yes
What sentimental item do most elderly Italian women
keep in their homes?
Their middle-aged sons
Yes certainly
I think I'll move out some day
What can erupt in Italy at any time?
Football violence
What is the national sport in Italy?
Diving
Where in Italy are you most likely to be robbed?
In a taxi
Finally
where are tourists in Italy required to
observe local customs?
When in Rome?
Yes
Unfortunately your visa has been declined
What?
But
Welcome to Italy
Yeah
Grazie mille!
One of the main gripes that
the Italian’s had
with the Italian immigration was
the bribe at the end.
They felt that €50 wasn’t enough.
Yeah, that they’d up it!
They’re not gonna be bought so cheaply, yeah.
We’re not cheap, yeah!
How dare you.
In Ireland, it would have been in
a brown envelope.
That’s the only difference.
Sounded like you were shocked.
*various shocked noises*
Next up, we have getting past
Spanish Immigration.
Before granting you entry to Spain
you must first answer these simple questions.
What is Spain's biggest export?
Spanish students.
Si.
What is Spain's biggest import?
Irish criminals.
Si.
How do you describe Spanish architecture?
A bit gaudy /Gaudí.
Si.
Where do you find the majority of the Spanish workforce?
In bed.
Si.
Construction of the Sagrada Familia Cathedral began in 1886,
and was finished when?
Any day now.
Si.
What is considered the most magnificent villa in all of Spain?
David Villa.
Si.
What traditional, barbaric act, is still legal
in Spain?
Calling a Catalonian Spanish.
Where do tourists part with most of their money in Spain?
Walking up La Rambla.
Si.
In Spain which bin do you use to discard food waste?
The Paella pan.
Si.
What two groups in Spain have caused unrest,
and clashed with authorities over the years?
Real Madrid and Barcelona.
Si.
Where do you go if you commit tax fraud in Spain?
Home.
Si.
What famous Spanish cruise do tourists
flock to?
Penelope.
Si.
Name Spain's most notorious serial killer.
Bull fighter José Tomás.
Si.
How would you describe Tapas?
A bit of everything.
Si.
How would you describe paella?
A bit of everything.
Si.
What resources did Spain extract from its colonies?
TOGETHER: A bit of everything?
Si!
Welcome to Spain!
Great!
I will sign your papers
but not now, it's the middle of the day.
So... good night.
This is the middle of the day.
Yeah.
Maybe we can just take the form...
*Makes a sudden noise*
*Genuinely frightened, not acting*
*Laughter*
DoomDah!!!
Next up is getting past
Swiss Immigration.
He got a lot of hate about
the Swiss accent.
Well okay so.
Not hate, questions.
Well, can I just say, right.
At first I went
♫ Really with the musical Swiss accent ♫
And you guys were like
And in fairness you were right, I’m not
saying you were wrong.
But you were like
That’s like obviously distracting
to the rest of the sketch.
So I had to tone it down
And then of course they were like
Well it sounds just German, or it
doesn’t sound, yknow.
Well look let this be the thing that people
will judge it on.
Do the one that you wanted to do.
With no practice!
*This is certainly an attempt*
HELLO, I AM FROM SWITZERLAND
(Arms dying from painful accent)
(This is definitely a Swiss accent)
I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!
Before granting your entry to Switzerland
you must first answer these questions correctly
What are the three main languages of Switzerland?
French
German
and secrets
Correct
What is the most famous mountain peak in Switzerland?
The Toblerone one
Correct
What is the most powerful defensive weapon
in the Swiss Army?
The Alps
Correct
Name the weakest weapon in the Swiss Army
The tweezers
Correct
What has a large amount of holes and hardly any cheese?
Credit Suisse Investment Bank
Correct
What is one of the biggest pluses about
moving to Switzerland?
The flag
Yes
Despite having no coastline
Switzerland has a large amount of?
Offshore bank accounts
Yeah
What's Swiss institution accelerates objects at such
speeds that they collide and separate as molecules
Roger Federer's backhand
Correct
Why do people travel to Switzerland to meditate?
To enter a neutral state
Yeah
The cuckoo clock originated in Germany
Sorry is that a question?
No I'm just reminding you
Switzerland has a long tradition of culinary innovation
what is its biggest accolade?
The world's most expensive Big Mac
You are correct
Which dropped set still haunts Roger Federer?
His fondue set
Yeah he was very upset
Finally what is the most ridiculous looking Swiss watch company?
The Swiss Guard
Yeah
Welcome to Switzerland
Just hold on a moment while I contact my superiors okay
This next
one is getting past Canadian immigration.
And this is the one that I tried
hardest with the accent.
I really tried not to say aboot.
I looked it up.
I really, it goes about.
It's about it's about time
And still people were like, we don’t say aboot.
I was like, I'm not saying aboot.
I'm saying about!
Can’t win, can’t win.
Subtle.
We were good in it.
Nailed that accent.
Yeah, I’m doing it now.
Before granting you entry to Canada
I have a few simple questions
Where is the capital of Canada not found?
Toronto
Correct
What do Canadians fear more than
bear attacks eh?
Being confused for Americans
That's right
Which sticky liquid that Canada is famous for
if consumed in large amounts
can be bad for your health?
Crude oil
That's correct
Which iconic leaf symbolizes Canada?
The cannabis leaf
Correct
At least two-thirds of Canada
is covered in what throughout the year?
Maple syrup
Correct
What highly aggressive sport
played on the ice is Canada well known for
Seal clubbing
Correct
What natural wonder
flows from the Canadian border
into The United States?
Marijuana
Correct
What do Canadians do more than any other
people in the world?
Apologize
No play ice hockey
Oh sorry yeah
No no no I'm sorry
No it was a good answer
Sorry no you're right
The iconic Canadian dish
poutine of french fries, gravy and cheese
is primarily consumed in which state?
Drunkenness
Correct
Canada is next to which beautiful
but inhospitable region?
The United States of America
Correct
What is the most common type of moose
found here in Canada?
Pantene Pro-V
Yeah that's right
It sits right up there with Tresemmé
In what part of Canada
were the land claims of indigenous people
taken seriously?
None of it
That's correct
The Territory of Nunavut
Now in Canada
Do we say about
or aboot?
About
No no we say a boot
and Canada's cold so when you're
out and about make sure you wear a boot
Next question
Do a Newfoundland accent
What? That's not fair
I wouldn't know where to start
Wow that's absolutely perfect
And finally
What do Ryan Gosling
Celine Dion
Jim Carrey
Michael J Fox
Pamela Anderson
Drake
and Keanu Reeves have in common?
They're
famous
Yes but not that something else
Something to do with Canada
They
visited Canada?
No they're Canadian
What?
Really?
Yeah why does everyone think our best people
are American?
All Canadian?
Yeah
Wow
You didn't know that?
No sorry
No I'm sorry
but it gets pretty annoying after a while
Right
Yeah
Oh Justin Bieber he's Canadian
No I don't think he is
No I'm pretty sure Bieber is Canadian
Anyway welcome to Canada
He is Canadian
Bye-dee bye now
There's the door boys
Are you sure he's not?
He's definitely Canadian though
I'll give ya a boot lets go
Doomdah
Best thing aboot Canadian immigration was that
when we were on tour going into Canada
we got pulled by an immigration officer
and the first thing he said to us
was?
Before granting you entry to Canada,
I’ve just got a few simple questions.
What a legend, what a legend.
Because you get pulled by immigration,
you get a bit tense. Yeah.
And then immediately
it's hilarious. Release. Yeah.
Then we offered him tickets for the show
and then we realized, oh, that.
That could be bribery as an official.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you get tense. Yeah. Yeah.
But then he turned up for the show anyway,
and then you release.
That's actually the second time
we've offered tickets to a Customs
official offer. Like,
just kind of just asking.
Oh sure we’ll get you tickets.
You can't. There's a reason.
Oh god yeah!
Get down on the floor.
Next up, we are going to Ireland.
We're staying here. It's
Ireland. It's Irish Immigration. Yes,
Before granting you entry to The Republic of
Ireland
I just have a few simple questions
It's just a formality
Name three Irish rivers
River Shannon, River Liffey and
River Dance
Correct
When is Summer in Ireland?
The 15th to the 23rd
of July
Correct
What are Ireland's national sports?
Gaelic football
hurling and
binge drinking
Correct
What is Ireland's national dish?
Niall Horan
He is
What are the two predominant religions in Ireland?
Man United
and Liverpool
They are
How many counties are there in Ireland?
Thirty two
How many accents are there in Ireland?
Thirty two thousand
Yes
The current Irish government is a coalition of
which three parties?
Apple, Facebook
and Google
Yes
Name the area with the highest Irish
population density
London
Correct
What time zone does Ireland run on?
Five minutes past
when it should be
Yes
Where will you go if you defraud the government in Ireland?
Prison
Where will you go if you defraud the taxpayer in Ireland?
Spain
Yes
Who came to power following
Irish independence from Great Britain?
The Catholic Church
They did
What is Ireland's biggest export?
Nurses
What is Ireland's biggest import?
Landlords
What is the current street value
of crack in Ireland?
90
The craic is 90.
Now for the Irish language section
OK
Go ahead
What?
OK
Go ahead
Sorry I don't speak Irish
Jesus
OK
Now for the practical
Please pour a pint of Guinness from this can
No wait
Never drink Guinness
from a can
Correct
Welcome to Ireland lads
Wahey!
Of course that was starring Emman Idama
and our good friend Paul Tylak.
Not that Emman isn’t our good friend.
It’s just kind of the way
the sentence was structured.
We've known Paul longer.
We have known Paul longer, to be fair.
Both of them were excellent.
Yeah, wonderful.
And they arrived with their lines,
learned.
I mean,
These chumps here, like
I have a script fair enough, right.
But you know-
What do you mean fair enough?
Well I have to know what the line,
Someone has to be in charge,
You know, I’ve a good mind not to let you
through immigration next time.
I don't want
take anything away from Paul and Emman.
They were great but, yeah.
Especially the Irish dancing.
I think this infighting
is sullying their performance.
Yeah, it's. It's drawing away.
This one is getting past
Paris immigration.
I mean, French immigration.
That’ll really annoy the French because,
Yeah, we always label them as Parisian.
We're not Parisian.
We're French. Yeah, true, true.
Hello
before granting you entry to France
you must first answer these questions
I will ask you the questions in English
but I am not happy about it
Question one
What is France's national sport?
Protesting
Yes
When do French people like to take their lunch?
Between nine and five p.m
Yes
What is France's largest export?
Secondhand smoke
Yes
What are people from Paris traditionally called?
Rude
Yes
What French monument do millions flock to
every year?
The Statue of Liberty
Yes
Who is France's biggest ever movie star?
André The Giant
Yes
Name one French handball champion
Thierry Henry
Yes
Why is the French national anthem regarded as one of
the best in the world?
Oh because it's
harder
better
faster stronger
Yes
Name a temperamental French model
known for having near constant breakdowns
The Renault 5
Yes
What famous French invention used to cut people
at the neck
has spilled much blood
over the years
The BIC shaving razor?
Yes
What was the defensive line along the German border
called in 1930?
Naive
Yes
Who went too far into Russia
before rapidly retreating when the tide
turned against them?
Marion Le Pen
Yes
Which minority within France
are stereotypes for their drug abuse?
Cyclists
Yes
After a long day at work where do the French
like to visit?
Their neighbor's spouse
Yes you passed the test
Great
So we can go?
I'll let you know tomorrow
Oh you just have to process it or?
No no no
I'm going on my lunch
This next one is getting passed.
Australian immigration,
which I've done in a New Zealand accent
or I've tried to because most people said
I did a New Zealand accent anyway.
It’s like
What's the point?!
Right boys before granting you entry
to Australia
you must first answer these simple questions
Okay yeah
What is the official language of the State of Australia?
Foul language
Correct
What months are Australia's Summer months?
January
February
March
April May June July
August September October
November December
Correct
When Australians say they are watching the footie
What are they doing?
Drinking
Yeah
What is Australia's most popular wine?
That they're constantly confused
with New Zealanders
Correct
Who are Australia's most well-known
hard rock artists?
The Aboriginal People
Correct
What endangered species can be found
on Bondi Beach?
Sun burnt Irish people
Yeah
Which Queen still represents Australia?
Priscilla Queen of the Desert
She does
What are the Australian soccer team
more commonly known as?
Shite
Yeah
Did you enjoy Mad Max Fury Road?
Yes
That's the correct answer
Australia fundamentally disagrees with the
international community on which
important issue
Vegemite
Correct
Which recurring event wreaks havoc and devastation
throughout Australia each and every year?
Australia Day
Correct
What is Australia's biggest import?
Backpackers
What is Australia's biggest export?
Backpackers who overstayed their visa
Congratulations boys you passed the test
Yes
Unfortunately though you're still being deported
What no why?
We found a whole bunch of sausages in your bag
I quite
liked the Australian immigration
ending there with the sausages.
If you know, the whole bunch of sausages.
But, but apparently we got that wrong
because we should have said bangers.
Oh a bunch of bangers in your bag.
Oh, they say the English bangers.
Okay. Hm.
See that's the great thing about
these sketches is you're always learning,
Always learning.
So cultured,
Ever the student.
It's also the worst thing
about these sketches because you have to do so much
research, we've never had to work harder
to write a joke.
Next up, we have Dutch immigration.
Before granting you entry
you must first answer some simple questions
First one is easy
if you're Dutch you're from which country?
Deutschland
What?
No Dutchland
Dutchland?
Holland
No
The Netherlands
Oh
Yeah the Netherlands
They're going to get more difficult
The second question
Which seedy industry
is the Netherlands well known for?
Oh yeah
The flower industry
What controversial herb is consumed
openly here in the Netherlands
much to the disgust of outsiders
Licorice
Yeah
Which type of bicycles are most commonly
seen in the Netherlands
Stolen ones
Yeah
What is the Netherlands largest import?
Tax avoiders
What is the Netherlands' largest export?
Oh postcards
with windmills
Yeah
In history what do you call the area of the Netherlands
that was controversially claimed from the sea?
Indonesia
Yeah
Who did the Dutch football team knockout
of the last 16 in the World Cup in 1994?
Ireland
Why is that question there?
No I just thought I'd throw it in
Where do you purchase marijuana in the Netherlands?
Coffeeshops
Where do you buy coffee in the Netherlands
Anywhere else
Yeah
By 2050 the Dutch minister of the environment
expects the whole country to be 100% what?
Underwater
Yeah
What is the largest fan base
in the Netherlands?
Soccer
No windmills
What is the fastest way to get to The Hague
from Maastricht?
Commit a war crime
Yeah
What would Dutch citizens
like to finally see de-legalized?
André Rieu concerts
Yeah we've had enough
Finally what do people from all over the world
travel to Amsterdam to see?
Come on
We both know what we're talking about
Yeah
It's obvious
Sure
The bridges
Bridges
The bridges
Yeah
Torensluis Brug
Magere Brug
Blauwbrug
Lekkeresluis Brug
Lekkertisr...
Lekkertisr... is my favourite
You guys are going to have a good time
Yeah
We're going to check out those bridges
Yeah OK
We'll do that now
Doomdah
See he has it hard though.
He has to do every single accent
for every single country that we do.
And also he has to read all his lines
from the clipboard.
Hey, don't be telling the secrets.
Next up, we have Scottish immigration.
Right lads, before granting you entry to Scotland
You must first answer these simple questions
What is the main language spoken here in Scotland?
What?
What is the main language spoken in Scotland?
English
The questions are going to get more difficult boys
What was chosen as the national flower of Scotland?
A weed
Aye
Who has done more for Scottish independence
in the last five years than anybody else?
Boris Johnson
Aye
What piercing high-pitched Scottish music
somehow still remains popular to this day?
Travis?
Aye
What is the most celebrated sporting result
in Scottish history?
When
England lost the Euro 2020 Final
Aye good times
What is apparently safe enough to store
in Scotland
but dangerous enough to protect England?
Trident nuclear warheads
Aye safe my arse
The Old Firm Derby is a rivalry in which popular sport?
Boxing
Aye
Traditionally in sporting events
if a Scottish person wins they are known as?
British
Aye and if they lose?
Scottish
Go figure
Which beloved fictional character
in literature and then film
was inspired by the city of Edinburgh?
Spud from 'Trainspotting'
Aye
What former Scottish leader is accused of spreading
Disinformation?
Mel Gibson
Bastard
What monster is Scotland famous for?
Frankie Boyle
Legend
Which nation
invented whiskey?
Not England
I'll accept that
And finally the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the biggest
what in the world?
The biggest arts festival
No pain in the [ __ ] arse
We're doing a show would you like a flyer?
No I wouldn't like a flyer
Get out!
It's 9.15pm in Bristol Square
Out!
McEwan Hall if you want to check it out
Are you sure it's called 'Hogwash'
Get out!!!
Don't be one of the people that points out
there's
actually no Scottish immigration
because it's a general like UK.
It's not, you missing the -
(Foil grumbles)
Next we got Indian immigration,
and this was the biggest sketch
ever for us on Facebook, I believe.
And what a great Indian accent
you did.
It wasn’t me.
It was, it was!
Throwing me under the bus!
Before granting your entry to India
you must first answer some simple questions
Where do tourists spend most of their time in India?
The toilet
Correct
Name the three main religions in India
Hindu, Muslim and
Cricket
Correct
When did British rule end in India?
In 1947
and when did Indian rule begin in Britain?
Just this week
Correct
India has a history of non-violent
passive resistance protest
What does it also have?
160 nuclear warheads
Correct
What do tourists often find when visiting India?
Themselves
Correct
Where can you go to get finger food in India?
Anywhere
Where in India would you go to see a portrayal
of an idealized vision of Indian life
full of overacting and dramatic fight scenes
The Indian Parliament
Yes
Name one of India's greatest treasures
The English Crown Jewels
How are actors in Bollywood movies selected?
The caste system
Indeed
What poses the greatest challenge in India today?
Probably
the Lotus pose
Yes very hard to tuck the feet in
Which famous board game played on a grid
and invented in India
has captivated the world's greatest minds
for centuries?
Snakes and ladders
Correct
name the disputed region between India and Pakistan
that causes riots and fatalities every year
The wicket
and finally who brought the world
Chicken Tikka Masala?
Scotland
Yes for the last time
okay congratulations gentlemen
and welcome to India
Oh okay well that was easy yeah
Just some very simple forms to fill in
Yeah sure...
There you go
All of them?
Yes that's all of his ones
and yours are on the way
and the last one in the series
is Brazilian immigration.
Spanish or Portuguese?
I can never remember.
I know it's
the joke is in the sketch show.
But I can never remember.
I thought you were joking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Portuguese.
Before granting you entry to Brazil
you must first answer these simple questions
What is not the capital of Brazil?
Rio de Janeiro
Correct
What currently divides Brazil?
The Equator
Correct
What is Brazil's national pastime
witnessed on beaches field and even
the middle of the street
Plastic surgery
Correct
Where do the majority of Brazilian citizens go to
worship?
The football pitch
Correct
What once covered the entirety of the bottom
of Brazil but now just covers
a thin band in the middle?
The Bikini Bottom
Correct
What nut is Brazil famous for?
Bolsonaro
Yeah
Name the ancient tribe who ruled over parts
of Brazil once known for their savagery
The Portuguese
Yeah
Who won...
Brazil
Correct
Which Ronaldo?
The Brazilian one
Yes
What is the most feared and
brutal gang on the streets of Brazil?
Oh the Polícia Militar
Yeah
One of the world's most feared forms
of martial arts Capoeira began in Brazil
but what are its fighters called?
Dancers
Yeah don't say that to their faces though
what is the name given for the cutting down of
large amounts of jungle to create an airstrip?
The Brazilian wax
Deforestation
What the hell is wrong with you?
Now finally
Name a famous Brazilian footballer
MMA fighter, singer,
Judo Champion, environmentalist,
and finally president
Okay
Silva
Silva
Silva
Silva
Silva...
da Silva
Correct
welcome to Brazil
Gracias Senór
Buenos días
Adiós amigo
What's wrong with you
we don't speak Spanish
There you go.
You just watched all of our immigration
sketches.
Hope you enjoyed them
as much as we did doing them.
If there’s a country that you think
we've missed out on, you know, let us know
One that maybe is not going to get us shot
and another one
that won’t get us thrown in prison
for a trumped up
crime upon arrival in said airport.
Oh, the chair went!
Oh is it gone?
We're saying we're staying.
We're not moving.
Okay, wow, tenterhooks.
Yeah.
We're sitting on top
of like five cushions
to bring us up to the level of the camera.
And the chair below is really on its last,
literally on its last legs.
Doomdah.
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
immigration /ˌɪməˈɡreɪʃən/ B2 |
|
|
citizenship /ˈsɪtɪzənʃɪp/ B2 |
|
|
passport /ˈpæspɔːrt/ B1 |
|
|
visa /ˈviːzə/ B1 |
|
|
government /ˈɡʌvənmənt/ B1 |
|
|
dominant /ˈdɒmɪnənt/ B2 |
|
|
indigenous /ɪnˈdɪdʒənəs/ C1 |
|
|
customs /ˈkʌstəmz/ B2 |
|
|
bribe /braɪb/ C1 |
|
|
deport /dɪˈpɔːrt/ B2 |
|
|
grant /ɡrɑːnt/ B2 |
|
|
require /rɪˈkwaɪər/ B2 |
|
|
answer /ˈænsər/ B1 |
|
|
stereotype /ˈstɛriətaɪp/ B2 |
|
|
accent /ˈæksənt/ B1 |
|
|
neutral /ˈnjuːtrəl/ B2 |
|
|
defraud /dɪˈfrɔːd/ C1 |
|
|
festival /ˈfɛstɪvəl/ B1 |
|
|
officer /ˈɒfɪsər/ B1 |
|
“immigration, citizenship, passport” – got them all figured out?
⚡ Dive into vocabulary challenges in the app and lock in your knowledge right after jamming to ""
Key Grammar Structures
-
Before granting you entry to the United States, we have a few simple questions.
➔ Simple Present
➔ The verb "have" is in the **simple present** to express a regular, habitual situation.
-
I'm actually Irish, myself.
➔ Emphatic Reflexive Pronoun
➔ "myself" is an **emphatic reflexive pronoun** used to add emphasis to the subject.
-
What is the name of America's National Holiday?
➔ Wh‑question (subject‑verb inversion)
➔ "What" is a **wh‑word** that triggers subject‑verb inversion: "What is…".
-
America is the greatest something in the world – weapons exporter.
➔ Superlative adjective
➔ "greatest" is a **superlative adjective** indicating the highest degree among all.
-
Do I get to sit down, check?
➔ Modal verb of permission (+ infinitive)
➔ "get to" is a **modal verb phrase** that expresses permission, followed by the infinitive "sit".
-
Before granting you entry to Italy, you must first answer these simple questions.
➔ Modal verb of obligation (must) + infinitive
➔ "must" is a **modal verb of obligation** followed by the infinitive "answer".
-
If you defraud the government in Ireland, where will you go?
➔ First conditional (if + present, will + base verb)
➔ "If" introduces a **first conditional**: present tense in the if‑clause, future with "will" in the main clause.
-
We have known Paul longer, to be fair.
➔ Present perfect (have + past participle)
➔ "have known" is the **present perfect**, showing an action that started in the past and continues up to now.
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