[English]
- How 'bout a beer chief.
- How about an id?
- An id? That's very flattering.
Wait till I tell the Mrs.
- Ah, military id.
First Sergeant Walter Keller
born 1944.
That makes you 38. Must
have fought in Vietnam.
- Oh Yeah.
- What was it like?
- It was gross.
- Yeah, that's what
they say. War is gross.
I'm sorry, soldier.
- This is the thanks we get.
- Okay. Shot of bourbon beer
chaser.
Bloody Mary without Tabasco.
Bloody Mary with extra Tabasco
coffee, cream sugar, sweet
and low cc.
Water back pretzels.
Picture of water with three
glasses.
- Those are our drinks.
- I'm terribly sorry.
I don't suppose I could
impose upon you people
to save me a few steps.
And
really, thanks so much.
Free pretzels for everybody.
- Excuse me. Yes, sir.
Can you check upstairs and
see if the table's ready for
- The Phillips party?
- Sure. Be glad to.
- What was the name again?
- Phillips.
- Phillips.
- What a,
- You got something
funny there, coach? Yeah.
- Sam, this salesman came by
this morning
with these new napkins.
I read that one. It's terrific.
- This isn't funny.
- Well, no, that's not the
funniest.
No. Read some of the others.
- What others? Oh,
- Here I bought 30 gross.
Take a picture.
- 30 gross of two hunters
saying,
did I hear a buck snort? No.
- No. They're all different.
Sam.
I'll be done.
That's salesman. But two bucks
gets funny every time.
- You should have asked me
before you did this Coach.
- Gee, I'm sorry, Sam,
I was sure you're gonna,
we're gonna love him.
These things are a real
conversation starter. No,
- Coach.
This is not a conversation
starter.
You see these awful
napkins? Yeah. Just stink.
- See what I mean? The place is
a
buzz. Hey, coach.
- How about a bill?
- Forget it, Harry. And our
Samsons.
I can't serve you anymore.
You're Alin fan. Oh, no,
- No.
It ain't for me. I'm expecting
a friend. A friend. Yeah.
Yeah. He asked me to order.
It's boring. He did. He did.
In fact, he, he, he, he wrote it
down
one beer. Now wait
- A minute.
- Wait, wait, wait,
- Wait.
- One minute, one minute,
Harry. Let me see that. Yeah.
One beer. I just gotta make
sure.
- Okay.
- That'll be one buck. A
- Buck.
Let's see. Gosh, I thought I had
a dollar.
Well, I got a 10. You got change
- Cut.
Absolutely.
You go five and four ones.
- Oh, look at this. I
have a buck after all.
Nah, I don't need the change.
Coach.
Why don't you gimme my 10 back?
- Right up. Right.
- There you go. There you
go. Wait, wait. No, coach.
I don't want to carry
around all these bills.
Listen, gimme a 20 for the
whole thing. What do you say?
- Go?
- Nobody move.
- Ah, come on, coach. Don't
you see what he's doing?
I mean, he's short changing
- You.
Oh, no. No. Sam, he's
outsmarted me before, but
- Not this time.
No way. Believe me,
- Coach, how much money
are you giving him?
- 20 bucks.
- How much is he giving you?
- Oh, Don, you have
- Sam. I'm just
- Trying to keep in practice,
coach.
I tell you what, I'll give you a
$30 bill.
We'll call it even.
Okay. What do you think,
- Sam?
There's no such thing as a $30
bill.
- Coach. You wanna bet?
- Get
- Outta my bar, Harry. Come
- On.
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. You owe me 10 bucks.
What is this a click joint? I'm
sorry.
- Here now
- Go on. You know, Sam,
you know you got the wrong
idea about me. You, no,
- I don't.
Now, Harry, you got 10
seconds to get outta my bar
and gimme back my watch.
Harry, he's trying
- To help you guys out.
I mean, if you wanna
upgrade a little bit. Turn.
- Alright. Locking it
- Up.
- We need ride home.
- Come on.
We need to ride home. Alright.
I guess we're all sober enough
to drive ourselves tonight,
coach.
Yeah. Looks like you
get to go straight home
for a change here, coach. I've
never
- Driven a straight home
alone. I wouldn't know
- How to do it.
Okay, coach, you can take
me. Oh, what up, prince?
- Thanks.
- No, I owe you one anytime
tonight.
Now drop me off at Kenmore
Square.
I can catch a cab from there
and take me back here to my car.
- Oh, Sam, when you were in the
back, one
of you women called
and she said to tell you
that you're a lying piece
of garbage and she never
went to see you again.
- She leave her name.
- No,
but she did tell me to add one
more thing.
- Oh yeah. What's that?
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's, that's
Patty
- Cliff.
Yeah. Answer that for
me. Will you? Yeah. You
- Bet your coach.
Cheers, Carla. Yeah, Carla, it's
for you.
Sounds like trouble with the
kids.
- I'm not here,
- Carla.
- I give it to me. Give it
- To me.
- What is it? Fin's where?
- Well cut
- Her down. No, I don't care.
If it helps the TV
reception. Cut her down.
And if I get home
and find that you flush
the car keys again.
You've had it. And by the way,
any more problems tonight?
And you're adopted.
Your real mother is Doris
Slobodkin.
5 5 5 8 9 2 1.
- You think that's gonna work
- One in a million
chance, but I gotta take it.
- Excuse me. I'm here in
response
to the a in the newspaper about
amis tortilla's, children.
- Oh, what is she trying to
sell 'em again? What? Nevermind.
Nevermind. Carla. Yeah. What is
it?
Is the lady here to sue you? Oh
- Yeah.
Oh, I'm Miss Gilder.
We spoke earlier about your ad
for tutor.
- Oh - Yeah, yeah. Have a seat
over there and we'll talk.
I'm taking five.
- Okay.
- Here are my
resume and references.
Mrs. Elli, you will see
that I teach all subjects.
I have a great deal of
experience.
And if I may say so myself,
I am very highly recommended
by those for whom I've worked.
- Forget that. Have you
ever been in any major
military skirmishes?
What? Look, it's very
important that I know
that you can handle yourself.
You stand up for a minute,
gimme one, give
- You one.
- What? Your best shot right
here. Cold cock me, honey.
- Hold. Wait, I wait. Let's go.
- You don't really
expect me to strike you.
- He six fucks an hour
down here and we'll work out the
details.
- Okay? Everybody step right
in here. Come on. Come on.
This is the home of Paul Revere.
Looks like a bar to meet.
Well, the reveres like to
entertain a lot.
Walk around and soak up some
atmosphere.
Gimme a shot of bourbon.
What's this all about?
It's a walking tour of Boston
and it's 30 degrees outside
and my feet are throbbing.
Paul Revere's house is nowhere
near here. You wanna do this?
I gotta fit in five more
sites before six o'clock.
I'll never make it.
We are also standing
on the greenery burying ground.
The old corner bookstore
and the old North church.
Well, let's get going.
This is it from Boston.
That's the whole tour.
Seemed to fly by, didn't it?
They fond of you to Boston,
the hub of New England. Yeah.
I always thought Boston was a
lot bigger.
It is in the summer.
- Hello everyone. Hey,
- I'm in a
wonderful mood today. I,
- I spent the weekend at
an Indian film festival
that left me euphoric.
Oh,
- I love Indian films.
I mean, I remember Ford
Apache just thinking about it.
Makes the hair on my arms go up.
Whoop. Look. There they go.
Whoop.
- No, no, coach. No, no.
We're not talking about
American Indian. Hey, hey,
- Hey.
I can make the hair on my
arms. Stand up anytime I want.
See?
- Whoa.
- Come. Hey, you
- Think that's something Kathy
said?
A dto my best friend at St.
Cleats.
Belch the whole 23rd song
at the talent show. Once.
- That's good. That's good.
But I knew this guy once
Randy Evans first baseman,
he could make his eyeballs
vibrate.
And I always wanted to be able
to do that.
- Randy Evans, who'd he
- Play for?
I think he spent most of his
career with Cleveland Indians.
- Speaking of Indians. Do
you remember Ford Apache?
Just thinking of it.
- Whoa.
Evening everybody. Hello.
- Norman.
- West's new Norman. Most of my
wife.
- I thought you gone up to Maine
for the holidays with Vera.
- Yeah, I am coach. So what
happened? Nothing. Nothing.
Vera drove up last night
and I had to stick around
for an interview today, so,
oh, I didn't drive up tonight.
She left me the directions here.
She have no trouble finding a
place
- Getting away.
- Norman. Yeah. Yeah. We
got just the two of us.
Oh, they're big, big trees up
there.
You know, got a frozen lake.
One radio station.
- Sounds very romantic. Norman.
- Yeah. Where can the guy go
for a good time around here?
- Enjoy.
- Hey, wait a minute. P pal,
please.
I, I can't, I can't do that to
the Navy.
- Oh, hey Diane, do me a favor.
Will you pour Misha there real
quick? Beer
- Come right up.
Misha.
- There you go.
Sam.
- What is he doing with his
hand?
- He's a symbols player for the
symphony.
And then in the middle of a
concert, he's
counting out a long rest.
So we'll know exactly when to
get back to.
- Fascinating.
- Okay. 1 25 out of 20. That's 1
50, 1 75.
2, 3, 4, 5, 10, and 20
musicians are very
temperamental.
- Yes,
- I, I'll tell him.
Oh, Sam, I just had a
conversation
with your date tonight, Bambi.
She said she can't make
it. She's had an accident.
- You are kidding. What
happened?
- She fell off her shoes.
- That's tough. That's tough.
That leaves me only two
hours to find another date.
- Those are the breaks.
- Not to worry.
Not to worry. Oh, the
- Book Cliff.
I swear it just gave off a beam
of light.
- A little black book. Yeah.
Didn't those go out with
getting a girl drunk
and seducing her?
- That's out now.
- Let me see.
Let me see. Let me see.
Hey, Christy Labone.
- Christy Loni. Come
on down. Come on, Sam.
Let me dial this one.
It's been a long time
since I've run my fingers
over a girl's digits.
- Norman,
- You know,
I haven't seen Christie since
Woodstock.
- You were at Woodstock.
- Friend of mine told me to go
down there.
It was a great place to pick up
chicks.
- I should have known you
weren't there for the music.
- There was music at Woodstock.
- Sammy, it's ringing.
- Hello?
Is Christy there? She entered a
convent.
- Oh, boys, it looks like
your idol has fallen.
- So what's the number over
there?
Okay, closing time. Everybody
out. Harry.
Harry. How did you get in here?
- Came in the back door.
- I don't have a back door,
Harry.
- Well then it's my secret.
- I've been serving him all
night,
- Diane.
You know I don't like this slim
fla man
hanging around my bar.
- Oh, Sam. It's a bit unfair,
isn't it?
Anyone with half a brain can see
through his petty little scams
and tricks.
- You're too kind. Thanks.
- I hope he doesn't try to pull
anything on you. That's all
- Me.
It is too loud,
- Diane.
You know I like you.
You're a smart cookie.
Let me help you clean up. You
gotta keep the cover on this
table, you know, when you're not
using it.
'cause the keep from the lights
will
crack the bell. You gotta take
care of it.
- Table Harry. Harry,
- I'll, I'll take care of it.
Okay? You
- Can leave.
Okay, well let me save you a
couple of steps with a check.
Anyway. I'll pay Sam. Okay?
- Oh, oh, thanks.
- Take care of that table.
Now
- Men can't make
- Beds either.
- Okay, Sam, thanks a lot.
Goodnight.
- Harry. - Harry, the bill.
Oh, that's okay. I paid Diane.
Harry, I don't trust you. Oh,
Sam, Diane, will you tell Sam?
It's covered. It's covered.
- You know Sam, this is
my favorite time of day.
- What's that coach? Closing
time?
- No, 1 37. I don't know
this. Just something about it.
- I - Know what you mean. I
suppose we all got our favorite
1 37 story. What's
- Your favorite time of day,
Sam?
- I think, I don't know, eight
15. Nice.
- Yeah, I used to like eight 15.
I think I kind of grew out of
it.
- I think if nobody
minds, I'll take my lunch
- Now.
Good coach. Would you
mind right down there?
Yeah. Honey. Yeah.
- I got
- Some lovely roast beef or
sandwich.
Oh, Carla, if
- It bothers you, I could eat in
the back.
- Oh, no, no.
I was a little nauseous before,
but I'm fine now. Oh, great.
You know, I'm starting to
feel a little hungry myself.
Would you mind handing
me my lunch there, coach.
There you go. Thanks. Thank you.
Mind if I join you, Diane? Not
at all.
You know, that's another
thing about pregnancy.
You get cravings. Green,
olive, red, minto.
Nice juicy anchovy.
Now you open the little
anchovies mouth
with pimento stuff it
into the anchovies mouth.
Now sugar,
- I, I think I've just
lost my appetite forever.
- Works every time.
- You're in a pretty good mood
tonight.
- Why not? Last night I was
up till two in the morning
finishing off Kiir guard.
- I hope he thanked you for it.
- See the coach and George is
still at it.
- Yeah, it's kind of fun. They
enjoy each other's company.
- Well, it's nice to
have someone your own age
to spend time with.
Been through the same fads.
You've seen the same films.
You don't have to explain
things.
There's a real comfort in that.
- It's too bad we're not a
closer in age,
- Isn't it?
- However, six or seven
years really isn't that much.
- Gee, I would've thought eight
or nine.
- I find older men stimulating.
- I hope you're not talking
about me.
- Oh, certainly not. You're not
in the least bit stimulator.
- Hey, listen, seriously, I
would not worry about your age.
You're obviously young enough to
bring
that Ki Guard fellow home.
- You two think that you
could put your glands on hold
- Long enough to get some work
done here.
Huh?
- Excuse me. I've got to powder
my nose in the men's salon.
- Hey, - You know you look a
little like Tip O'Neill. Yeah.
- You know, a lot of
people say that. Really?
I'm a better looking fellow than
he is.
- Oh my God. You are Tip
O'Neill. How do you do Ho?
I'm Sam Malone.
- You used to throw for the
socks. Yeah,
- That's right.
What are you doing here in
Cheers?
- Well, I'm walking down the
street.
A lady stopped me, started to
tell me about her philosophy
of life and philosophy of
government.
And so I ducked in and
thought I'd have equipment.
- Well, what can I get you?
Here? There
- You are.
- Ha. Mr. Speaker,
- Forgive me for being so
relentless,
but I really wanna talk just a
- Step into the office.
- What? I'll be right back.
- What is it? No she won't.
- One more quick one coach.
Then I really gotta run.
- Hey. Hey. Nah. What were you
saying last week about that?
Do nothing. Congress down there
in dc
- We're a bunch of clowns.
- Hey, you think so, huh? Yeah.
- You could take the
average guy off the street
and you could do a better job.
Nah, sure. If Boza right
here could probably be a
better congressman than them.
- You know I may run for office
someday.
- You do that.
You're outta work too, huh?
- No, I'm a speaker of the
House of Representatives.
- I'm be ridiculous.
Gotta make you Tip O'Neill
and me horse's butt.
- You said it. Not me.
- Goodnight Danny. I'll be
careful going home though, huh?
- Boy, that guy should chew
your ear off there, coach. Yeah,
- But what a nice guy, Sam.
Hey, you know something?
That's the first person I ever
met
that was actually on the
Titanic. Sam.
- He survived the Titanic. I
forgot to ask
- Coach.
- Why didn't you call me over?
I would've loved to have heard
that story.
- What? He Sam, I figured. You
heard it. You're a big boat.
It hit a nice bird bang down. It
went.
- Listen, from now on,
when you hear an interesting
story like that, call me over.
It's one of the joys
of bartending. You want
- To hear interesting.
Forget the Titanic. Come
over here. What? What? What?
Clan Clin. Tell 'em what you
told me earlier. Go ahead.
- Yeah. What? What?
- I know. All the words today.
Bonanza theme song.
- Go ahead, let 'em hear it.
Then
- We got a right to pick
a little fight bonanza on.
If anyone fights any one of
us, he's gotta fight with me.
We're not a one to settle up
and run Bonanza. Any one of us.
Starts a little fight.
Knows you can trust on me.
- 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 1.
- We guarantee 1, 4, 4, 4, 4
- Oh oh sound.
Let me have the TV control.
- Oh, hey,
- Whatcha gonna watch?
There's something
extraordinary on television
- Right here. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's up?
- Game on, eh, what is it?
The Bruins. I didn't read
anything
- In the,
- I think the lady singing
the anthem is loaded.
- Diane, what the hell is this?
- Ners ring of the new lungs.
The complete cycle. The Rold.
The Walky, Siegfried, and
finally Guttered. Dumbo. Well,
- I hope they don't use that
candle.
Laughter.
- Oh, coach, it's not
comedy. This is opera.
Oh, I'll explain.
As we proceed now, this is
the story of a golden ring
with magical powers that curses
anyone
who owns it. Hey, hey, hey,
- Hey.
Wait, wait, wait. They had
that same story on
Scooby-Doo Saturday morning.
Oh, yeah,
- Yeah, yeah.
But the, the dog sang a
little better than that.
That's such a Come on,
- You guys not given a chance.
Now, the first three hours of
your,
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- I put up with your squirting
events.
It's time that you return the
favor
after 10 minutes, if you
aren't totally mesmerized
by its beauty, I will turn it
off.
- 10 minutes.
- Very funny.
- Culture's wasted on you.
Oxygen is wasted on you.
- There you
- Go. You know,
that was not a very nice
thing to do to Diane.
- Sam's got a point there. Well,
- She has watched a lot
of sports. Yeah. All
- Right.
All right. Let's give it another
shot.
- So, Chuck, how's the
job search going? Huh?
- I got something, Sam, but
I'm not too excited about it.
I'm a janitor at a biology lab,
but they do DNA experiments, you
know,
making mutant viruses and stuff.
- Well, that sounds
like a pretty good job.
- I don't know. It makes me
nervous.
You know, that weird stuff
floating around. I don't
- Worry about it.
I'm sure it's safe. Oh yeah,
absolutely.
They keep all the right
- Precautions.
Yeah, no problem. I guess you're
right.
Must be getting a little
paranoid, huh?
You know, I, I'm feeling better
already. See you later. Yeah.
- Take care, Chuck.