– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

what's going on you guys so i am filming

a youtube video today just a little

short vlog starbucks drink

nothing crazy but i asked zach to come

and he has no idea that i'm filming this

but i'm gonna try to make it a little

bit entertaining

so um as you all

may or may not know i am have always

been hugely 420 friendly

so i may or may not have just

smoked out a little bit in my car and

i'm just recording this because i know

the first thing he says or he's going to

say when he gets in the car is

something about that it smells like weed

so

i keep looking at myself and not at the

camera i'm sorry i'll work on that you

guys

oh i hear he comes right now what's up

you want to ride with me to starbucks

what's wrong i'm worried that there's

something else that you're going to

try to no i'm not i'm just filming a

youtube video

i'm afraid you're gonna do something to

me we're not going anywhere in anywhere

no way because i don't have a mask

oh i have an extra one but no i don't

think so okay

so how does it smell

in here like marijuana

why don't you say anything i was so sure

you were gonna say something like right

away

do you like this or does it smell like i

like it

so i got this new perfume you guys and

this hot girl in sephora was like

i'm not supposed to you know do any

testers but i will for you and i was

like all right

sounds fabulous and so she starts

pulling out different

perfumes out of the bottom drawer and it

was all like

i felt scandalous because you're not

supposed to test any perfumes right now

because of kovid

so they don't but she like literally

made a special exception for me

because i wanted to smell something

she's only made a special exception like

that

no no i'm serious she didn't do it for

everybody she didn't offer it or

anything to anybody else

and so she was like who's this like i

could hear the music playing in the

background it was slow-mo and she was

like

squirting it on the little thing and she

was like try this one

and i was like no she was like this one

this one's really sexy and it's ysl and

it's called

libre and as soon as she put it under my

nose she's like

we sold out of this it's never in stores

it's brand new

but we just happen to have cement and i

was like i smelled it and i was like

doom

so um anyway cool story

no but

so anyway zach does not want to do

youtube

i know how [ __ ] cool i am

[Laughter]

why are you laughing listen to me

i this makes your boobs look huge by the

way

isn't that what the hot girls do

why have i seen some girl in your phone

who did that and sent you a picture of

it or something earlier

you had screenshotted something with

some girl had her boobs like this

but without anything else

and i saw it somewhere not in my phone

no definitely not i know it was i don't

know where else i would have seen it

probably all over the internet but

anyway it's a popular thing to do so

no it's not but anyway i'm getting a

boob job

and that's exciting no but seriously

yes i am soon where

here here in vegas yep

yeah are you going to dr richards

jim richard jim ritchell

name that movie but anyway oh yeah stop

picking at your leg and pay attention

i was saying i forgot i was saying this

i thought we were running

now listen we are shut up

ready gotta do this when i do that

ready you didn't even [ __ ] do

i'm it the least like climactic thing

i've ever seen

are you [ __ ] kidding me i did it you

did it too late

anyway so i want to do youtube videos

because i know how [ __ ] cool

honestly both of us are people love both

of us for so many different reasons

and we're relatable and

honestly you're pretty cool i wouldn't

have stuck around for 11 years

i'm serious

you weren't like if you didn't have

personality and

we're well it's probably the

mostly the d is why i stuck around but

a little ounce of your personalities

whatever it takes

now listen seriously

so i need you guys to convince zach in

the comments to start doing youtube

videos with me

because why the [ __ ] not i watch way

more boring people than us

and way less valuable people people who

have way less to offer and i'm not

saying that to be me and i'm just saying

like think about i don't want to offend

anybody so i'm not going to say

anybody's names

but like there's people who are not that

interesting

that people watch so why not give them

something more interesting to watch

i don't know but there are people who

are extremely interesting and have

nothing of value all right you hold this

that's my bad side though you hold that

and i will drive to starbucks

all right so impromptu question and

answer ready

you should pay attention to the street

ask me

a question any random question okay

what do you look for in a woman i don't

look for anything in women what do you

mean

[ __ ] you don't what do i look for in

a woman what's the most attractive thing

about a woman

to you oh my gosh that's so hard

like just one top thing i have like

three

okay make it three just i like a pretty

mouth area

like what you got a pretty mouth

i like like i thought we were going to

starbucks we are you want to go to that

one yeah

the one on durango i know no we have to

go to the other one sorry

it's like the same distance basically

not even closer

to you watch you gotta add up this one

is always

always extremely busy with a lot not

emotions listen

a mouth a nice mouth i like i like good

teeth

and like pretty lips and i like eyes

and i can't do a third because there's a

three-way tie for

tits vagina and ass

like what that all equates to

i'm very picky like your boobs

have to be nice your vagina has to be

pretty and you got to have

somewhat of a butt i can't do flat ass

can you so what happens if you've never

had sex with a girl with absolutely no

ass like that's not correct okay exactly

we can't do that

but what would you do what would happen

if you found a girl that you were

into she had a great mouth and pretty

eyes and smile and all that other stuff

that you just mentioned

yeah this person is stopped in front of

us shut up

i'm fine just checking i don't know why

they're still stuck

i think he's broke down are you serious

you think he needs help

no he's good he was just out of his car

anyway anyway so what happens if you

find a girl

and she has all those things you

mentioned great ass

great tits great smile face all that and

then you get to the vagina and it's

like blown out what are you doing i'm

i'm oh [ __ ] i have an emergency i gotta

go

my mother's in the hospital like

bye no i can't have you ever had sex

with a scary-looking vagina

oh my god not that i remember

which probably means no because if i had

it would probably

there's probably been times though that

you don't even

you didn't even look at it probably

probably oh that's [ __ ] scary

because i was drunk yeah i mean that

happens

but it's still scary all right what's

your biggest fantasy

mine yep don't

don't [ __ ]

just say what it really is like don't

change it multiple women like how many

what like a good what's a number minimum

of

well i mean two is better than one oh my

god no i'm

zach your biggest fantasy is not a

threesome

so let's i need you to be more detailed

here like

a group of women whose only desire is to

please me

i think that's every man's fantasy

more than one woman yeah but how many

more

is it like however many it takes however

many i can get in the room at the same

time

no that's not a good answer how is that

not a good answer

it's an honest answer

like the angles are atrocious first of

all well like

yeah you're driving terribly that's part

of the reason why i'm holding the phone

so badly

anyway all right so multiple women

that's what you're gonna [ __ ]

say okay yeah multiple women whose only

desire is to please me

would it be more interesting if it was

like 37 women

no not 37 women because that's

impossible

no i just that's i want to

sexually dominate okay here we go

oh look no one four women at a time

probably because they're closed

at five o'clock on a sunday yeah no

[ __ ] haven't you heard the song it's

five o'clock on a sunday

starbucks is already closed it's really

a song

no it's not a song

um did you laugh at me

i bet she's cute watch um

i need the phone i don't care what

that's that's a nice thing to say

i need what i what the order i gave you

what was that

okay can i i'm ready are you do you know

what can i get for you can i do a

grande cold brew

with one pump of caramel and

three pumps of sugar-free vanilla

um and light cream

and can i add a blonde shot to that too

please okay

um is that zac bonds and a venti vanilla

bean cream frappuccino

yeah if i'm in it i have to get the name

thank you

if i'm in it i'm getting paid no you you

don't even want to do it

then i won't do it no i want you if i do

it then i'm going to get paid

you're funny and you're attractive you

have a bigger song

people know this i'm sorry

thank you

so we've established that ashley has no

look the filter i kind of like it

you can like get them to change it right

starbucks you're the one that always

says that

starbucks will change it you guys still

do that is there anybody out there who

still blows the straw

at somebody you're gonna do it to me now

no i'm not

is there another one for me yeah

tiffany's drinking

thank you so much i appreciate it how do

you like your drink

i don't

oh my god it's awful go back through and

say hey can i change this

this does not look like the one the

macro barista

put up now look you need to try this on

camera please

no please please please woman why do you

make me do this if you didn't even like

it why would i ever like it it's our

anniversary

and i got you a thousand dollar gift

card to get guns

what did i get you least you can do

where did i get you i know what you got

me what did i get

take a drink of this where did i get you

trip to the caribbean and

what does dirty mean please try to drink

it

here come on baby

do it do it there's gonna be something

behind me

the actual reaction

[Music]

that was awful i love coffee and this is

tastes like [ __ ] like actual [ __ ]

so

can you swear on youtube should i just

go up to the window

yeah just go through the window um i

just came through i was gonna see if i

could

switch my drink out for something else

um can i do a

and i'll pay the difference or whatever

but a venti um

iced chai tea latte please okay this is

it um and can i get it with three pumps

of chai

and three pounds of sugar-free vanilla

all right

and light ice and

can i add a shot a blonde shot to that

oops

okay and that's all

all right ask me another question random

what do you look for in a guy i haven't

looked for anything in a guy in 11 years

like it

thinks what i look for now would not be

what i looked for before we met probably

yeah yeah i changed you

i'm sober

my morals are like this much better than

they were

when i was an alcoholic and a drug

addict for sure i would say

but now

i like to cuddle a lot

i'm serious i do so you gotta be touchy

feely with me or i don't [ __ ] like

you

if you're inside a woman there's no way

she's ever gonna be mad at you

so consider that or just

like holding one hi sorry

yeah and then right up there with that

though is

yeah it's gotta be

on point if you know what i'm saying

largely on points

to throw it away yeah hold the old one

in your hands thank you so much

we appreciate it you too what put the

new one in between your legs

put the old one in your hand and we will

throw it away in the trash can that we

drive by

you know what the craziest thing is i'm

gonna park right here for a second

will you shut that one off in my turn

gladly

hey turn this back on all right

i don't know why i make the sound

effects but

that's just how my brain is so part two

i got a ball shot i didn't get him for

the one time i've never hit your balls

oh yes it's here this is try it's not no

coffee

it's like a healthy or try but still

this is [ __ ] good you guys

venti ice child

all right listen for those of you who

don't smoke marijuana i just want to

talk to you guys for a minute

why not you know what

i put up this tick tock the other day

and it was about weed

being a gateway drug and stuff weed has

legitimately kept me off of

drugs and alcohol over the years

if you're a recovering alcoholic you

want to go drink

smoke a bowl and see if you still want

to go drink afterwards you're going to

want to go eat your whole kitchen

it really takes the craving away from me

i have to live with this guy every day

and it's not always rainbows and

unicorns guys

but listen there's this woman

on tick tock

who does these challenges every week and

she has her followers send in like

25 cents 50 cents a dollar like whatever

they can

to like

and she adds it all up and then no yeah

the challenge is though that she goes

out her and her husband go out to eat

and they'll tip the server or whoever

the person is like they did a post

post mates drive or whatever what

however much money it was for the week

it's normally like a thousand bucks

yeah yeah and i thought that would be

really fun to do

because i like like helping people

but this way it's with other people's

money and that was mine

well obviously we'd have to put some of

our money in two that's i don't know if

she does that or not i'm pretty sure she

makes a lot of money off

doing this but maybe

that's kind of her thing so we couldn't

steal it all right ask me another

question what's your favorite sexual

position

i'll ask you because hey look at me know

where your head was it looked that mr

man was like right on your

the mr man right here put your head back

down

it looked like he was on no

whatever favorite sexual position

um doggy really

yeah smack your ass i like to watch your

ass bounce

but they're all so good i can't pick

just one though

really really yeah they are like if i'm

really if

if i want to just like go to town

it's usually doggy yeah but each one

feels differently

yup and i like trying different

positions and yeah you're creative for

sure

spending things different ways what do

you look for in a woman um

well i haven't looked for something in a

woman

i'm pretty sure that's not true venti

iced chai tea latte

three pumps of chai three pumps of

sugar-free vanilla

throw another one in there if you're

feeling froggy make it a little more

sweet but this is sweet i like it light

ice

so that way you get more drink and a

single shot

a single blonde shot because it's not as

strong and you don't really taste the

coffee

yeah i definitely did taste the coffee

he lied and told me there wasn't any

coffee and i thought

i forgot about the espresso i don't

consider that coffee but anyway that's

like the coffee of all coffees

can you ask me a question and it's

espresso ask me a question

um cut this off zach's starbucks drink

is a

vendi vanilla bean cream frappuccino

not a healthy kind basically like

milkshake it's not bad it's just like

boring to me

to her but anyway if you want to liven

it up you can put

caramel drizzle in it for aesthetics go

ahead

because you don't really taste it ask me

a question [ __ ] no i like i like

experimenting new things and you asked

me

uh what do i look for in a woman because

i'm trying to answer that

um well the first thing that i noticed

about you was your ass

your boobs oh yeah and your smile

i'm hungry let's go home and eat

what's there to eat at home steaks

or other things

um like the woman has to actually take

care of herself like not just

like not just hair and makeup and

clothes like actually has to physically

take care of yeah because

nine days out of ten i look like a bag

of dicks with

horrible hair no makeup and feel

but you physically take care of yourself

you make sure that you stay

in shape mostly possible i mean that's

probably not accurate but

okay maybe not as much as possible like

no significantly more than the majority

of america

okay question for you

um last one and then what what's your

biggest fear

in the world hands down immediate

response death

other than death what's your favorite

fear in the world a lot i have a lot of

catastrophic fears like

anxieties that are things that are

beyond my control

i think a lot of people feel that way

though so not being in control

no i mean i i don't know if i'd consider

that a fear

per se is just something that i really

just like

yeah pretty obvious yeah my my second

biggest fear

torture like something happening to me

like being somebody tying you up i mean

not in a sexual way no that's fabulous i

like that at all

i mean like torture torture like not fun

torture but

i get abducted and someone [ __ ]

burning you burning your toes

on the end of your toes going in the

description

stop you're sick no no you know what

what i imagine it to be like is

like law abiding citizen where he gets

the guy and he like

cuts him up while he's alive and

that's some [ __ ] sick [ __ ] if i was a

psycho killer that's how i would be

though

but but i don't want it to happen too if

i was in his position

law abiding this is the one that you

didn't like right

we're gonna dump it out we could give it

to a homeless person

if we see one don't just get it after

you drank it

there's what they have better chance of

getting it from me than from

me getting it from them so that's better

right wait no that's not better

why are you shaking why do you

constantly shake your head at me

you're look how big your tits look

someone's got cause they're man boobs

anyway muscular man chest dump it out

then or

go walk up to a garbage can i'm just

gonna dump it right here

and put the dirty cup in my floorboard

we'll throw the dirty cup away when we

get home but this way

it's not gonna spill on the way there

anyway anyway

but no so if i were in his position

like what happened the guy killed his

family right yeah

gotta believe i'd be doing the same

[ __ ] thing that's what i'm saying

100 percent 100 i would absolutely stop

caring

if somebody killed you and the boys in

front of you

you had to watch it yeah but the thing

is

i sincerely doubt that would ever happen

to me

without me being able to do anything why

are we talking about this

no but honestly your biggest fear

then i changed my biggest fear to

something happening to my kids

and then me yep i think that would be

not being able to protect my kids is my

biggest fear yeah

yeah yeah that's huge

and then maybe failing them as a parent

would be number two

death is my number one fear for myself

then something happening to my kids i

would say for sure that's this was

supposed to be fun though

but yay

james change the dynamic hurry

hurry the video on this i was talking

about sex and movies and stuff

and you're talking about fears that's

not a good question

okay what's your biggest sexual fantasy

i'm not going to say

yeah because i know what it is i'll say

that for the next

video say your biggest sexual fantasy

stay tuned you guys no

i'm not gonna say it say it one time you

don't know what it is

you think it's something to do with you

and another woman and while that does

top the list

that is well not does top the list

it's at the top of the list it's not

exactly

oh today's our six year wedding

anniversary too i don't know if i

mentioned that

i'm going to take these mister men

your biggest uh sexual fantasy is

you being restrained

in some fashion either tied up or bound

to a chair

or stuck some way where you have to

watch

while i [ __ ] another woman that's not

number one you can't move

i mean that's fantastic but i don't know

i have many favorite

or biggest or whatever then because but

it all involves

masochism what does that mean exactly

you

get off by having pain involved with

your

sex or control submission

submission yeah that's yeah yeah hugely

that's the biggest part for sure

but there are quite a few that

could slide into that spot you know what

i mean

oh my god all right do you have anything

else you want to add to this

oh i was thinking earlier

that we did we went to jail we did this

big thing right and that's how like 97

percent of the world knows even who we

are

if not more right no one [ __ ] knew

who we were before that show

not like no and i'm not saying we're

famous or anything but

well we are known the world over so

we're somewhat i mean we're like d-class

or c-class celebrities i think guys but

we did this thing we went to jail and we

learned all this stuff and did

something that very very few people in

the world have ever done and

that's not the most common thing

and then we [ __ ] didn't do anything

else with it right

fair to say we never like talked about

anything really a couple interviews

whatever man

like you do a podcast once every couple

months maybe

i was on access hollywood but we but

like right after it happened

yeah it's four and a half years ago so i

was like

we can do something to provide value

because i know that's why you would

rather do videos instead of like

you putting on my makeup or funny

stupid [ __ ] like that which i really

enjoy

funny videos and prank videos and stuff

like that with sex dude i

literally have a channel dedicated

but you don't like messy stuff or like

anything else it's not like scaring

where you can't just continue on with

your day

like it messes you up but we could talk

about jail or do ah

i don't want those things all right

coffee drink but anyway so i'm thinking

about something like that you guys but

either a sex like a sex podcast or a

jail podcast i feel like we'd

really thrive at addiction jail like

maybe some veteran stuff or we just go

totally sexual with it

and talk about or it could just be our

channel

whatever you feel the [ __ ] like talking

about i don't know maybe

but anyway have you enjoyed this as much

as i've enjoyed this it's been excellent

i promised i would get him on here for

videos so

here's the man of the hour

no i gotta go hang out with my boyfriend

so bye guys

[Music]

see you next time say bye

say bye

happy anniversary

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
filming /ˈfɪlmɪŋ/ B1	verb - recording video
vlog /vlɒɡ/ B1	noun - a type of blog where the main medium is video
friendly /ˈfrendli/ A2	adjective - kind and pleasant
smoked /smoʊkt/ B1	verb - past tense of smoke, to inhale the fumes of burning plant material
recording /rɪˈkɔːrdɪŋ/ B1	verb - the process of capturing sound or video
entertaining /ˌentərˈteɪnɪŋ/ B2	adjective - providing amusement or enjoyment
perfume /pərˈfjuːm/ B1	noun - a fragrant liquid used for scent
scandalous /ˈskændələs/ C1	adjective - causing shock or public outrage
exception /ɪkˈsepʃən/ B2	noun - a case that does not follow a general rule
literally /ˈlɪtərəli/ B1	adverb - in a literal manner or sense; exactly
relatable /rɪˈleɪtəbl/ B2	adjective - able to be related to or understood
personality /ˌpɜːrsəˈnæləti/ B2	noun - the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character
personality /ˌpɜːrsəˈnæləti/ B2	noun - the quality or character of a person
fantasy /ˈfæntəsi/ B2	noun - a vivid mental image of something imagined
dominant /ˈdɒmɪnənt/ C1	adjective - most important, powerful, or influential
addict /ˈædɪkt/ B2	noun - a person who is addicted to something