– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

...

If you were cheering for me or just because you're inside.

Because it's cold here, isn't it?

I know people from the East coast are going,

it is not cold here, Ellen.

But it's cold here.

I mean, I think even like, you know, for people on the East

coast, it's like-- it was like 30 degrees this morning.

I actually think that maybe our weather

is colluding with Russia.

That's what I think.

OK.

I have a confession to make.

OK.

Something I did, and I said I wouldn't do it.

And I did it, and I'm deeply ashamed.

And I'm all about honesty, so I'm going to tell you.

I watched The Bachelor.

[SCREAMING]

[APPLAUSE]

I watched it, and it was an accident.

Here's what happened.

Here's what happened.

What happened was I was--

I was at home, and I noticed the light bulb

was out in the ceiling in the living room.

So I got a ladder and I climbed up the ladder and I went

on the very top step, the one they tell you not to get on

even though it's a step.

It's on there.

And anyway, so I'm balancing on the top of it trying

to change that light bulb and I slipped

and I fell and I landed on the remote

and it turned on The Bachelor, and I watched it for two hours.

And-- I'm kidding.

This is how it really happened.

Portia was out of town, and I got weak.

I just-- I was lonely, I was bored.

The light bulb is still out.

I haven't gotten to it.

Every year I swear I have watched it in the past,

and I've told you I've watched it,

but this year, I was like, I am not going to watch it.

And I really didn't think I was going to watch it,

and then I ended up watching it.

I held out for eight weeks.

I didn't watch it for eight weeks, and then--

who's watching?

Anybody watching The Bachelor?

[SCREAMING]

And so proud, too.

So proud that you watch it.

That's great.

The rest of you are just shaking your head like, you poor thing.

So if you haven't watched The Bachelor,

I'm going explain what happens.

It's a show that brings together all kinds of women.

There's Becca K, Becca M, Becca B, Becca C, Brittany J,

Brittany T, Brittany Y, Brittany P, Lauren B, Lauren G,

Lauren J, Lauren S. I said the Beccas, right?

There's, like, 29 women with four names,

and in the middle of all that, there's a handsome white man.

And his is Ari.

Here he is.

[SCREAMING]

Yeah?

OK.

He's a retired race car driver, and now, he's a realtor.

And on The Bachelor, that sounds attractive.

On Tinder, it means you're a Uber driver.

[LAUGHING]

...

All right.

I don't know why I keep watching.

I mean, I do know why.

Because The Bachelor is like pizza.

Even when it's bad it's good.

It's like-- and when it's really bad, it's really good.

And so the thing is, if you miss,

like, eight weeks of episodes, each episode is two hours long,

and it's impossible to catch up on what's going on.

I'm kidding.

It's exactly the same.

[LAUGHING]

Like, a monkey could tune in and all of a sudden go, oh, get it.

And if you missed the first half of the season

like I did and you want to catch up,

I put together a recap of what's happened so far.

So you can join in now.

This is what's happened.

[VIDEO PLAYBACK]

...

[APPLAUSE]

...

Poor Becca M. That was Becca M or Rebecca J. One of them.

It was--

...

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
colluding /kəˈluːdɪŋ/ C1	verb - to conspire secretly
confession /kənˈfɛʃən/ B2	noun - an admission of guilt or a personal statement
ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/ B1	adjective - feeling embarrassed or guilty
honesty /ˈɒnəsti/ B2	noun - the quality of being truthful and sincere
accident /ˈæksɪdənt/ B1	noun - an unexpected event that causes damage or injury
ladder /ˈlædər/ A2	noun - a series of steps used for climbing
balancing /ˈbælən sɪŋ/ B2	verb - to keep steady or maintain equilibrium
remote /rɪˈmoʊt/ B1	noun - a handheld device used to control another appliance
realtor /ˈriːəlˌtɔːr/ C1	noun - a professional who sells or rents land, houses, or apartments
attractive /əˈtræktɪv/ B2	adjective - pleasing or appealing to the senses or mind
impossible /ɪmˈpɒsɪbəl/ B2	adjective - not able to be done or achieved
catch /kætʃ/ B1	verb - to seize or capture, especially to keep up with something
recap /riˈkæp/ C1	noun - a brief summary of previously covered material
episode /ˈɛpɪsoʊd/ B1	noun - a single installment of a series
season /ˈsiːzən/ B1	noun - a particular period within a series of TV shows or a year's weather cycle
lonely /ˈloʊnli/ B1	adjective - feeling sad because one has no company
bored /bɔːrd/ A2	adjective - feeling weary and impatient because of a lack of interest
proud /praʊd/ B1	adjective - feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction about one's achievements

Key Grammar Structures

• If you were cheering for me or just because you're inside.

  ➔ Conditional sentence (Type 2)

  ➔ The use of 'were' in 'If you were cheering' indicates an unreal or hypothetical situation in the present.

• Because it's cold here, isn't it?

  ➔ Tag question

  ➔ The phrase 'isn't it?' is a tag question used to seek agreement or confirmation.

• I know people from the East coast are going, it is not cold here, Ellen.

  ➔ Reported speech

  ➔ The phrase 'are going, it is not cold here' is reported speech, where the original words are conveyed indirectly.

• I actually think that maybe our weather is colluding with Russia.

  ➔ Modal verb (maybe) for speculation

  ➔ 'Maybe' is used to express uncertainty or speculation about the weather colluding with Russia.

• I watched The Bachelor. [SCREAMING]

  ➔ Past simple tense

  ➔ The phrase 'I watched' is in the past simple tense, indicating a completed action in the past.

• I held out for eight weeks.

  ➔ Phrasal verb (held out)

  ➔ 'Held out' is a phrasal verb meaning to endure or resist something for a period of time.

• Even when it's bad it's good.

  ➔ Parallel structure

  ➔ The sentence uses parallel structure with 'when it's bad' and 'it's good' to emphasize contrast.