– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

five four three two one

boom and we're live thanks for doing

this man I appreciate it

hey thank you for having me I appreciate

that he's the only guy I've ever had in

the studio where when I showed up you

were working out that's what I do mask

my life that's my life it's pretty crazy

though I mean how much time did you have

when you got here I got here about an

hour early oh yeah okay so I got here

shirt off doing chin up hilarious I

think if I camera out in time for you

song I wanted to take some pictures well

maybe next time

next time well catch you after the show

you are a guide that for a lot of people

you sort of embody the idea of hardening

your mind and figuring out a way to do

things that most people think are

impossible

all right let's you've sort of become

that guy over your life and you've

become that guy for a lot of people

including me online we've talked about

you on the podcast a ton of times so

having you in here has been it's very

exciting to me I appreciate that thank

you how'd you become that guy you know

what I grew up not that guy yeah so a

lot of people put a title on me they

want to they see me now they see me now

as the guy that with his shirt off who

can do 4030 pull-ups in 17 hours you can

run tours in five miles in 39 hours who

can do all this crazy [ __ ] but what they

don't understand is they don't

understand the journey that it took me

to get to this point and what got me to

this point was I was just the opposite

everything the day I was that guy who

ran away from absolutely everything that

I got in front of me but not many people

knew that I had two people at the like

the real me was like this very scared

insecure stuttering got beat up by his

dad all this kind of stuff and I built

this fake person that walked around like

my [ __ ] didn't stink you know you know

that yeah so that was that's kind of how

I did it and I do the process of time I

realized that I was lying to myself and

lying to people but that it's a

fascinating journey though because

you are that guy now Ryan you genuinely

are legit badass right at one point in

time you were a legit terrified person

yes so what was the process like how did

how did you step forth well it's a it's

a long process right um I my dad beat

the [ __ ] I mean was growing up we I was

the first black baby born in this

hospital called Millard Fillmore in

Buffalo New York my dad owned skating

rinks he owned bars he ran prostitutes

from Canada to Buffalo New York my dad

was a big-time pimp big-time anything

bad about a person

big-time hustler he was American you

know that I'm with them Denzel

Washington he was that but not that bad

right yeah he wasn't that big but that's

what it reminds me of he was that kind

of guy and beat the [ __ ] out of me did

she help you no I love my mom there was

an instant one time when my mom got

knocked out on top of stairs and they

drug her down the stairs by her hair at

six years old

I'll never forget this in my mind I was

always afraid my whole life I was afraid

but I had this [ __ ] voice this this

conscience that would always be battling

me said hey you got to get up and do

something I didn't want to do [ __ ] you

know I was just afraid but I would that

that voice would forced me to get up and

my dad you know I try to beat him up

whatever at six and I get my ass kicked

so this went on for several years and I

have a big time learning disability can

my dad didn't believe in us going to

school so my dad it was about the

business the skating rink in the bar so

this game you open about seven o'clock

at night and this is when time I was

able to walk so about five you know four

or five six years old eight nine and I

go to the skating rink it's ten o'clock

at night and I worked the skating rink

until 10:00 at night and then we would

scrape the gum off the floors and we

cleaned the whole skating rink up and

then my dad at the office and my brother

and myself asleep in the office and my

mama go upstairs and worked the bar

until three o'clock in the morning and

then they cleaned the bar up so after

all that [ __ ] was done with going to

school really happened so when I went to

school I was all kind of you know my

learning disability I had social anxiety

I was just a jacked up kid from living

in this tour

at home from the outside looking in we

live in the all-white neighborhood and

then we would travel to the ghetto of

Buffalo New York with the skating rink

was that so we you know we worked around

mostly blacks and I lived around mostly

White's but no one knew what was going

on the house that on 201 Paradise Road

yeah it's crazy but um my mom got

courage to finally leave him when I was

by 8 years old we moved to a small town

in Brazil Indiana and that's when the

real war started for me and Brazilian is

a small town great people a lot of great

people and I say that because like

people get offended and I'm gonna get to

the point where they get offended there

was about maybe 10 black families at

about 10,000 people in the town and in

1995 the KKK marched in the 4th of July

parade so this was a not every bar was

racist there's a lot of good people some

the best people I knew was there but

there's also a lot of racism there so me

being one of the few black kids net you

know in the area you know it kind of

haunts you I had stuff on my notebook

you know [ __ ] we're gonna kill you on

my Spanish notebook they had that on my

car [ __ ] this is early 90s and so even

though I sold it didn't hurt me

it was jacking me up so all the

insecurities I have when I was a kid

with my father I moved into this area

here and it just got worse and worse and

worse and it [ __ ] haunted me and that

voice that talked about it kept talking

louder and louder and louder I was doing

nothing about it and I decided to make

moves and I cheated all through school

and it's kind of humbling to talk with

my stories sometimes in this um it's

also embarrassing but it's real it's who

the [ __ ] I am is what I am is what

created me and copy from the fourth

grade to the to my junior year in high

school on every assignment and I want to

get in the military I'm gonna join the

airforce and the guy gave me an as vapp

test as I could water down SAT and I

couldn't copy on it because the guy

beside me how to test a test B they got

him I write he had test C so I looked

the copy on this test and I couldn't

copy on so I got like a 20 and I wanted

to be an Air Force pararescueman it's

guys that jump out of airplanes and save

down pilots it's a

it's a special operator in the Air Force

and my squirt was so horribly low that

is we take it again

and he said hey I got an 18 the second

time even worse I need to get a 50 out

of a 99 and so a mom and I for a while

we lived in the government subsidized

apartments seven dollars a month and

also food stamps and we slowly moved up

to a $230 a month place but at the time

you know we you know pretty poor but um

my mom afforded enough money for me to

go to see a tutor one one hour a week so

for four hours a month it had six months

to study from our last test I can only

take the best you know the answer to

test three times and I studied my ass

off and passed it I got in the Air Force

and realized there was more things in

front of me I was afraid of water

terrified the water and I've learned how

to swim but what gets everybody in this

training in all special ops training is

the water confidence where they try to

pretty much drowned your ass you know

all of our lives we've been breathing

and they take that from you and they

want to see how comfortable you are in

the water and there's a 1%

african-americans in Special Operations

and I didn't know anything about African

like a lot of them are negative buoyant

which I am because the bone density I

struggled but I'm six weeks into the

program there was about 25 guys left of

about 150 I was there and I was never I

didn't gonna sleep for six weeks of the

program and I wanted to quit so badly

but I quit everything in my life I

copied through school I want to prove

people wrong and so here I am in this

Air Force program start to get a little

more confidence but this water was

kicking my ass

and six weeks in the program the doctor

gave me a blood test and must have

sickle-cell sickle cell trait not the

anemia but I still killed people but so

they pulled me out training for a week

and when you go from being very

uncomfortable in that water situation

and then now you're comfortable and I'm

sitting back watching the guys drown I'm

not you know I'm not part of the

activities anymore for this week I don't

want to get back in that damn water

again so the fear overcame in all my

insecurities for my dad from this small

town from everything started coming back

and even though no one knew how [ __ ]

up I was kind of create this other

person

tough I live with this [ __ ] all time so

mean I wouldn't go back in that water

the doctor called me a backup I thought

to get like a like a medical kick out of

the military so no quitting for me they

kicked me out so I can have some pride

the doctor said no I'm kidding you know

we could put you back in the training

and I was like [ __ ] but after a week I'm

like you know what I missed one week

there's only three weeks left there's a

good chance you know I could tough this

[ __ ] out and go on but I went back to

the CEO and the commanding officer of

the program and the sergeant said hey

you gotta start from day one because you

missed you know that that week of

training and I broke

I broke I couldn't imagine going back

through that again

so I made up a lie and I said man

there's sickle-cell things really

scaring me it was the [ __ ] water it

wasn't sickle cell and and I pretty much

quit even though they gave me a medical

and I quit so um from the age of 19 days

of 22 I went into the job called tack

pee where you control fast movers behind

enemy lines cool job but there's no

water I was afraid of water so I've

avoided it and I gained 125 pounds in

that time frame

I went from 175 to almost 300 to 297 was

my heaviest and I started finding things

that was comfortable and the more things

I found comfortable the more

uncomfortable my mind was because that

voice I was telling you about it always

was there I was trying to avoid that

conscience I wanted to be left alone

from that conscience and it wouldn't

leave me alone so I got out of the Air

Force and I started working for a job

called ecolab respray for cockroaches at

24 and I'm spraying at different staking

sheiks Red Lobster whatever from 11

o'clock at night at 7 o'clock in the

morning and what changed I came home and

watch this Discovery Channel show class

224 I came home from Steak N Shake I

sprayed it down last get a big ol large

42 ounce shake walk across the street

and get a box of mini doughnuts from

7-eleven you never drive home for 45

minutes this big old fat guy who yeah I

worked out but I was fat I didn't run

didn't PT I just hit the gym so I'm

driving

home turn the TV on and what comes on

Discovery Channel so and that's what

everything changed for me I was taking a

shower I walked out heard these guys and

I watched the show and it made me

reflect big-time on the piece of [ __ ]

that I am and I'm exactly what people

said I was going to be so so what was on

this show that really struck home it was

um I saw these guys going into water so

I was terrified of it I can't even

express have you ever had a big fear and

I know a lot of fighters have fears and

stuff like that but they get over them

but all of us have these fears that you

just don't want to [ __ ] face and um I

have a lot of them had a lot of them and

that's what created the person who's in

front of today and we'll get into that

but I'm just a scared [ __ ] is what I

was and but I was watching these guys

going through hell week class 2:24 and

these guys ringing the bell quitting

dropping their helmet down rolling out a

lot of guys is leaving and it made me

reflect on my fears my insecurities and

I saw real men when I thought were real

men who were staying who were overcoming

adversity who were overcoming all these

different things that I had blamed so

many [ __ ] people in my life my dad my

mom for not being there when I was 14

years old my my mama's would get

remarried to this great guy he got

murdered and then I moved back to a

small town in Brazil and and I everybody

was a blame my learned disability my my

skin color you know me being everything

and so I sat there for a while and I was

like man I gotta [ __ ] I got it

no one's gonna [ __ ] come to help me

no one's gonna [ __ ] come to help me

his [ __ ] me against me period and I'm

so I had to man up and I said first

thing I started doing is facing every

[ __ ] fear I have no matter what the

[ __ ] it is man and these things would

keep me up and that no one people who

are here in this [ __ ] day they will

never really understand and grasp when

you face these things and so many things

how they keep you up and haunts you at

night I think there's a lot of people

out there that know what you're talking

about I mean and so that's what it did

and I had two options to either be that

300-pound guy who spray for cockroaches

and

thousand dollars a month and at 24 years

old knowing we're not 50 [ __ ] years

old I can reflect on this and think

about what God never became or I can

totally just sack it up and fail and

fail and fail entire succeed so I

started calling recruiters up I said

we'll be a [ __ ] Navy SEAL and every

recruiter so there's a weight and height

so they weigh weight and height limit to

get in the military and I was 6 foot 1

and to 97 and I had prior service which

was a big deal so I called all these

recruiters up and all of them said hey

how tall are you bla bla they got into

conversation and see if I even qualified

and by the time I got to my weight phone

we were hanging up pretty much like hey

you know what call somebody else you

know try to get in the reserves so I

tried to get in the reserves and I

called this guy named Steven salad your

recruiter up and he said hey come on in

he saw me put me through the weight

standard all the sort of stuff and to

get into the class I had to get into how

to lose 106 pounds in less than 3 months

so I was like [ __ ] that I can't do that

I grabbed my chocolate milkshake and

went back to Ecolab I'm going back to

work man this is my life

so in this job you look you know you're

looking for cockroach she's looking for

rodents and stuff like that and this

next morning or this next night I went

to work and I hit the all-night

cockroaches too much I hit the mother

lode of cockroaches and this restaurant

got full of cockroaches and rodents and

everything else and I sat there and said

this is my life I said this is my life

you are exactly who the [ __ ] that this

is it and I said this ain't gonna be it

for me so in that restaurant I quit my

job left my canister in that restaurant

my spray canister got back in my ecolab

truck and I went home and I started

working out like somebody I was I became

the most obsessed person on the planet

Earth that was basically I had to invent

a guy that didn't exist I had to invent

a guy that can take any pain any

suffering any kind of judgment be called

[ __ ] be called whatever the [ __ ] in

the world and be understanding the

[ __ ] room and said go [ __ ] yourself I

had it built the I had to build this

callous mind and I built it to suffering

I built it to downright [ __ ] just

crushing myself if it was raining

outside three o'clock in the [ __ ]

morning feeling the first instinct is

don't go out there and do [ __ ] my

instinct was we gotta [ __ ] go out

there anything that was [ __ ] horrible

in my life that I would normally say no

that was inhumane that most people I had

to go do it and I started callous in my

mind at this point in my life and I lost

the weight I lost the weight and I went

back to recruiter I got into that class

and I went through three Navy sohail

weeks in one year only God ever be in

three hell weeks in one year after my

knowledge the first one I didn't make it

through the next two I did and that I

just didn't stop anymore from there

and I started realizing through this

through this process that the [ __ ]

mind is what you created and I started

opening different doors that I didn't

think we're even there they didn't think

even existed and the more doors are

opening up the more I start realizing

that my potential is damn near endless

and it changed my whole mindset so I

went from David Goggins and I created

Goggins and that journey is a priceless

journey that is hard for me to explain

to people because it sounds so quick and

easy that guy's lost this weight and I

went through three healthiest I went to

Ranger school went to Delta Force Lexus

whatever it is it was brutal it's a

brutal journey every [ __ ] day and if

ever less what are you happy

if anybody knows my life story and I try

to give you a just a snippet of it where

I'm at two days in front of Joe Rogan

telling you my life to get through what

I became to get to where I'm at now

there's nothing but pride I have for

myself that I can't really I can't

really show people because I have this

face and a space that they see like are

you happy what's wrong with you I'm

driven I'm obsessed and that's what you

see that's it people need to hear this

story

this is a this is an exciting story for

people because there's a lot of people

out there that feel trapped and they

feel stuck and they feel like they can't

do anything this is who they are you're

a guy who felt that exact same way but

figured out how to not be that person

and be a person

you would admire how did you what were

the first steps like you had some slips

before right because you you quit

because of the water thing right but

then when you went back the second time

and you decide you're going to lose all

that weight and you quit that job did

did you was it just straight forward

from there or whether there's some days

where you just failed and then you

picked it back up again so my first run

when I decided to lose the weight I was

like I said 297 I was about thirty two

percent body fat and I went my idea was

to run four miles for my first run I

didn't know how bad it's gonna [ __ ]

hurt me I used to run before I was fat

and I was like [ __ ] it I can do this I

ran a quarter mile and walked home I

walked home and sat on my couch and

cried I miss my mom's house who was

about 40 about maybe 20 minutes down the

road and cried and getting her couch

saying I can't [ __ ] do this I don't

know what I'm gonna do I just got

somebody pregnant my life was this

[ __ ] I was making $1,000 a month my

rent was 8/10 a month and my mind just

kept [ __ ] with me and kept [ __ ]

you're not good enough man this isn't

for you man these guys are best mother

[ __ ] on the planet Earth you not that

and what it was and it's kind of funny I

was obsessed with rocky rocky one in

particular and when I was a kid I come

home every day and I watched his [ __ ]

show rocky and I was fast forward with

the little VHS tapes to round 14 round

14 [ __ ] me up like nobody's business

why this song came on right so when I

bought the pull-up record I listened to

the song for 17 hours it's two minutes

and 13 seconds and I'm able to visualize

and dream like nobody's business and I

know that I can create a vision that

many people can't and I work for it so

the vision I had was when Apollo Creed

beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of Rocky beat

the [ __ ] out of him he's kept fighting

he was a dumb fighter couldn't read

couldn't [ __ ] on me couldn't read

couldn't write just punchy everything

about him and rocky beaches are probably

[ __ ] using that corner everybody was

saying stay the [ __ ] down

and him getting up him getting up Apollo

Creed raised his arms up in the [ __ ]

air turn around thought he won the fight

he turns around and sees this guy

getting up and it was the face of Apollo

Creed that changed my life the face of

Apollo Creed it was like just by that

[ __ ] getting up not winning just

by him getting the [ __ ] up Apollo Creed

was his champ his best rocky had taken

his soul had literally taken his soul

his his head goes down he looks down

like Ruth what the [ __ ] are you

I wanted to be that not Rocky I want to

be the guy that people looked at I don't

keep you've liked me or didn't like I

don't care but said this [ __ ] is

gonna keep coming after whatever the

[ __ ] is in front of them I wanted that I

wanted that I wanted that worse than

anything in the world

so that is I kept picturing me falling

down and getting up and every

[ __ ] that called me [ __ ] I was

dumped even myself even myself I wanted

to feel something besides two feet I

wanted to just go to distance and that

going a distance pushed me to a point of

where now I go way past the distance so

you go the first day you run a

quarter-mile and you walk back home and

you're you're upset how do you how do

you move forward so basically idea was I

came home and I had a talking milkshake

I sat down and I gave up I said it

saying go [ __ ] happen Mac I lose 106

pounds and I came and go a quarter a

[ __ ] mile I started being able to

take negative [ __ ] and be happy and this

whole I say what if a lot it sounds

corny and it sounds weak but it's true

one of the recruiters said there's not

many black Navy SEALs in fact I was a

thirty six african-american seal in

history

is in overseas because the [ __ ] water

you know I mean people get mad at me

it's [ __ ] true just get over it and

so I was like man what story would it be

if my [ __ ] fat dumb lying to be

people insecure ass can overcome this

[ __ ] and that would if mentality like

that that dreamer mentality just would

always fuel me it was just ruin man what

if I can be but if I can be a seal man

what if I can go from wearing a quarter

of [ __ ] mile now I run 205 miles what

if I can go but just what if I can go in

and what if how would that feel if I'm

graduating kind of get at that

graduation thing I was talking about

224th like the video I said then I'll

watch this command officer stood up and

he said to the graduation guys you're

graduating buds like eighteen of them he

said we live in a society where

mediocrities often rewarded and we don't

to say something about these men detest

mediocrity and I wanted to be a man that

the test mediocrity you know it got me a

lot of trouble in the SEAL Teams and

going forward in my life because I just

I started looking down on people for not

going hardest [ __ ] [ __ ] and I started

to create different things but that's

for a different day but I just believe

that it you know my whole mind changed

that is a problem that a lot of people

who work hard to have you get angry at

people who don't work hard to the point

where you you know you want to insult

them you want to you want to smack them

and it's really because you're scared of

seeing that yourself yeah that's

probably the truth that's probably the

truth so I guess a lot of times my life

I would see people and it part was a

direct reflection of who I was and I

would get mad at them but reflections

probably just be getting mad at myself

yeah that's for me 100% when I when I

see people they're half-ass some things

I get terrified of seeing that in myself

and I get mad at them right and it's uh

it's not a good way to handle it no you

know but it's it's natural because

you're just terrified of seeing that

trait right and it cost me so you come

back mmm you do the quarter-mile right

you walk back home how do you regroup so

what I did I sat down then I put rocky

in I got my milkshake put rocky ice you

know what I was big-time in Rocky and

platoon why platoon I love to see people

who were getting beat down and this

there's there's scenes there's scenes

that this drove me and people in my hell

weeks you know I was in three of them

always hear me singing these songs these

songs humming these songs in torturous

situations when you're when everybody's

quitting this [ __ ] code I would be

somewhere gone somewhere [ __ ] gone if

somewhere [ __ ] darkest [ __ ] there's a

scene of platoon when Elias Wimborne and

shoots Elias and you know they think

Elias is dead and the choppers are

taking off and charlie sheen's ask him

you know Tom Berenger

where's Elias reason lies Willem Dafoe I

found him back there dead somewhere and

through the woods the Viet Cong has

chasing he lies through the woods and

the shoot him in his [ __ ] back

and all he wants to do is get to the

[ __ ] chopper he's getting shot in his

back he's getting up getting something

face getting up and you see this guy

just fighting

I love the [ __ ] guy who just [ __ ]

fights and so I put these things in as

reminders that you're gonna have to

[ __ ] suffer man this [ __ ] point

two-five man this is man you're gonna

have to [ __ ] suffer to go from this

fat insecure [ __ ] to one of the

best guys on the planet Earth this

journeys could take something that is

going to be incomprehensible to most

people and these different

visualizations how I visualized myself

talked it became so nasty and dirty that

I wasn't liked the fact that I went

point to five so it became from being

defeated to like man all right

[ __ ] maybe you know maybe

tomorrow and go point seven-five you

know it just became this different

mindset I turn negatives into positives

so I would I would take it like who

would even think about doing this so I

would sit in my couch saying who at 297

who can't [ __ ] swim that great who

scary the [ __ ] water we have the

[ __ ] balls kind of balls to [ __ ]

man up quit a job and go and it put

everything on himself

so it's how I started talking to myself

and put myself in a whole different

category and that was fueling me the

next day and I just kept using that as

fuel and fuel no one would do this [ __ ]

no one do this [ __ ] you're the best

[ __ ] around you're the best

[ __ ] ever live and I had the

guys kept fueling me with them with the

right kind of message that I needed to

hear that was never telling myself and

through time

became reality to myself so you start

out on the first day and then do you

start running again the second day yeah

the second day was right back after

again but I start realizing I can't run

that for right so what I did was I

became damn near a professional cyclist

with the miles I put it on the bike so I

never we never watched TV

I had to be doing something so I was

riding the bike I rode a bike a lot to

lose the first initial kind of weight

cuz it took my bones were just hurting

so bad my bow is broken and I learned to

get over that also and I tried to swim a

lot I weren't a great swimmer but

putting fins on kind of equalized my

body I wasn't so negative buoyant so I

started fitting a whole bunch and I

spent hours in the pool hours in the

pool trying to get more and more

comfortable not because I was going

underwater I was so scared of the water

that I had to live in the water I had to

become one with the water so going to

the pool used to scare me so I went to

the pool an awful awful lot and then the

bike got easier I was able to run more I

went from like one mile one mile was a

great accomplishment two miles and then

from 2 to 3 was a big one I went from 3

to 6 and then like they have a warning

order that they give people to get ready

for buts and the whole thing was running

6 miles five days a week and that was my

goal and so I just kept I failed I go

back to scratch I use some positive

motivation I have like one day where I

like [ __ ] defeated but I started

realizing this a part of the process

this is a part of the journey I had to

realize this is part of my process

versus just saying like I used to

I'm just not good enough if I'm not good

enough we always say that [ __ ] that's

not good enough and then we try

something else

I'm gonna [ __ ] make myself good

enough and that became my mentality I'm

gonna make myself good enough and so I

misunderstood a lot but that's that's

all it came down to I made myself good

enough and the days I couldn't run that

far the next week I would do two a days

so on the running if I ran a

quarter-mile I weighed a [ __ ] couple

hours it haunt me bother me I try to run

a half a mile next time same day you can

do more than this if I had to walk ahead

and walk it just became just a process

of

grinding and grinding and grandees not

even a good word for it it's not even a

good word for it and just just going

further and further and then when I got

through running I go to the bike I go to

the pool if I got tired somewhere my

legs are tired

I go to the gym and I develop this crazy

workout where I was doing volume like

two-three hundred reps of like very

lightweight people I said how you know

how come you have any like loose skin my

workout routine the gym became sick it

became sick I was just doing two three

hundred reps four hundred reps on like

chest just like for one simple exercise

the best press and a racket get back on

it just rep it out trying to burn as

many calories I can't build that muscle

mass and ice became just became obsessed

with it so when you're doing this are

you worried at all about repetitive

stress injuries or the fact that your

body's not conditioned for this and

you're basically taking your body where

you had abused it right and now you're

you're forcing it to live like in an

elite athlete right I didn't care I

didn't know any better I didn't think

about it wow I didn't I didn't know that

working out that hard would [ __ ] you up

I did it [ __ ] you up oh yeah yeah that's

one reason I'm with you three Hill weeks

so I don't talk about a lot but um the

stress of my life getting to 24 calls me

have some serious so as issues I know

anything about this [ __ ] there's so as

muscles what we use history hip flexor

muscle and basically under stress it

starts to tighten up and I was I started

for from the time I was in third grade

time I was in seventh grade white

blotches on my skin I was just I was in

that case and so the insides of me are

also getting [ __ ] up so in this

process my soul has mostly got real

tight to my t12 I can show you the bump

on the back of my head after this show

is over but I had I started growing this

[ __ ] like large tumor or looking bump

on the back of my head from my body

compressing so I'm six foot one but my

muscles were like five foot nine because

I just started just the muscle tightness

for my so ass going to my t12 I was just

getting tighter my quads everything

getting tired from just stress just

stress in my life so the more I stressed

my body with the workouts

my lower body became out of balance so I

had a bunch of stress fractures bunch of

injuries going through buds and how I

got through buds was they gave me my

third time was my last time going

through hell week I basically put a

black sock on at four o'clock in the

morning and I would get duct-taped I had

a numerous stress fractures on both of

my legs because my my body was literally

like coming in on itself in my legs like

I was I was pronating it really bad and

putting stress on my stress on my shins

and so I would put duct tape I would

duct tape my feet and I would show you

the top of them where I have pressure

ulcers they're the size of quarters from

you know how the ankle joint so the foot

goes to the shin and how you move this

where the tape was so tight it just

created a nice ulcer right there and I

just uh just kept going through it so

you just use that tape to just support

your ankles right so I basically cast

myself and for the first 30 45 minutes

the pain was excruciating but then it

would go numb and I would go numb and

then I saw I got through Wow did that do

any long-term damage oh yeah I've been

out for five years so I retired from the

I did 21 years in military this time in

the Air Force and I did about 16 years

in the Navy how old you 43 she looks

like you're 30 that's good that's good

you really you look very young for your

age whenever I'm stressed I get after it

I think I fixed was ever bothering me so

I basically over the last five years

everything I've done in my life I did it

be very unhealthy I've never talked

about it I just kept going and it cost

me pretty much I was choking my insides

out adrenal issues tons of general

issues thyroid issues anything with the

endocrine system pretty much shut down

on me a lot my organs were pretty much

shutting down and I went from a guy who

could run 205 miles to a guy who

couldn't get a bed and the doctors were

trying to search what was wrong that's

why I figure out the psoas muscle no one

figured it out and I hit it by accident

so I I've missed two days of stretching

out in five years and so what happened

was all this should I did to myself this

dress I

under physical mental all kind of [ __ ]

it just choked me out from the inside

and doctors put me all kind of

medication and the medication started

doing the exact opposite it was kind of

sure I was on um DHEA I was on some

different things for my estrogen

different things for my I was on

anything to do with your with your

endocrine system thyroid medicine get

God I was on quarters all kind of [ __ ]

to get my stuff I'd like just lump in my

throat from like the heart was always I

couldn't run down the street my body was

just jacked up couldn't sleep my hope I

was just down shutting down I could give

you a lot more than that but just give

me example I was [ __ ] dying and so I

couldn't do anything I went from a guy

who was this guy to a guy who can't do

[ __ ] and doctors like I don't know

what's wrong with you me you know your

labs or this is it PTSD is it what's

going on I knew what any of that [ __ ] so

I sat in the bed one day and I realized

man my life is over this is it but it

gave me time to reflect on everything

I'd accomplished I've never taken time

to reflect on the kid I was to the man I

am now so honestly the time I wasn't

working out it was the best time I live

because I got a chance to really reflect

back and be proud of who I became guy

never took time to do that it was like

one after another get the [ __ ] after get

after it get after you ain't good

nothing my [ __ ] get after it get after

it and I'm I got halted so anyway this

process went on for a while more

medication this isn't working that's not

working no doctor can figure it out I'm

like [ __ ] it I saw this doc about eight

years before this happened he was like

hey man you're so [ __ ] tight I've

never seen anybody in my life as tight

as you you need 50,000 hours of

stretching he's doing some crazy number

I like whatever stretching the you know

it stretch stress is bad for you so you

thought stretch was but that's just bad

for you why did you think that I read

some article you know a man [ __ ] [ __ ]

stretching man I worked out so hard I

don't have time to stress man I was 150

miles a week I was biking to work man I

was getting after it man I was working a

full-time job

and stretching and doing that so my body

was literally getting tired and tired

not just from what I was doing but

there's all cuz you ran this nut wasn't

that man and so I said no I'm gonna try

to stretch out so I don't do anything

for like ten minutes

or you know I don't do to a six-minute

abs [ __ ] so I start stretching out

one hour hour and a half long story

short man I shaved my head unless every

morning and that bump doesn't the back

of my [ __ ] head I started realizing

it was shrinking for some [ __ ] reason

I don't know why because I shaved my

head back and I was like it's getting

smaller smaller that bump got healthier

I got smaller that bump got I was like

oh hold up [ __ ] what's going on

that so whereas muscle started getting

more and more stressed out more more

relaxed and over a period of five years

I'm the best shape in my damn life right

now from stretching out Wow that's all

it was I went from like I came in

counting medications I was on now I'm on

a very low dose thyroid pill period do

you ever do yoga all the time man all

the time and I if I were to tell

somebody one thing right now man that's

so as muscle and getting that hip flexor

opened up because we're all stressed the

[ __ ] out it was it's almost worse than

others it changed my life yeah how do

you say Nick Gregorius how do you say

his last name

the Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt from

England the Greek fella he has a great

quote about yoga he said yoga is a

martial art you do against yourself yep

it's a great way of putting it a hundred

percent so what it feels like when

you're in there right hundred percent

and so you how many years ago was this

it was five years ago anything and how

long was there a period where you

couldn't work out at all there was about

so I always try to do something but I

couldn't run hardly though I could run

maybe half a mile and all that hard [ __ ]

would happen in my heart would get a fit

and I'll cast off what happened and I

started just stretching and also I tried

to pull ups every now and then but

everything was just I didn't have the

energy I didn't have anything I mean

nothing was processing right for me so

do you think that you just broke in your

body you pushed it too hard hundred

percent

sat back in that bed that night and I

had a lot of time to reflect us you know

what I was actually kind of proud of

myself in a very sick twisted way I even

though people would understand it I had

to do what I had to do and you know and

I did it like I didn't tell you how I

got into ultrarunning

you know there's a lot of things that so

I I pushed extremely hard I went way

beyond what I thought was capable like

my first ultra race I did I was uh I was

heavier I was in Iraq you know the

marcus luttrell lone survivor I was in

buds I was in three hell weeks as you

know as I said many times and I knew a

lot of guys that died in the operation

now I was at freefall school with

marking the trail who is his twin

brother during the operation wet wings

wear market rosin on a survivor

I knew market real well and I was about

200 some odd pounds and I didn't run

hardly at all at this time I was a seal

but I was like a bodybuilder

and I did it elliptical trainer 20

minutes on Sunday all I did so I did

[ __ ] that cardio stuff I was never about

it until this happened so that happened

and I was like man I gotta find a way to

raise money for these families so I

googled the I I found a foundation the

Special Operations Warrior Foundation

and I googled the 10 hardest races in

the world I knew nothing about ultra

running the first I'd ever run was 20

miles at one time and so what came up

was the bad water 135 135 mile run

through Death Valley in the summertime I

thought was a [ __ ] stage race I know

people can run her 35 miles at one time

had no idea was imminent stage race

would you run like 20 miles I'll camp

out and then run 20 more to get her 35

miles right so I wouldn't alter runner

to know ultra runner was I called the

race director up Chris Kaufman of the

bad water spinning he said are you an

ultra runner and I was like I don't know

what that is

he goes have you run 100 miles in 24

hours or less I was like no but I said

I'm a Navy SEAL I was in 3 Heloise I was

arranged I gave him some resume he

didn't give a [ __ ] he said I don't care

you got qualified for my race and the

deadline was up in two months for this

bad water race and basically he said

there's two more races you can do to

qualify

and I might consider you my race we

select top 90 athletes in the world and

you know even all true runner but I like

your cause like what you're doing he

said uh I come up on a Wednesday and he

goes there's a race on Saturday in San

Diego San Diego one day when you run

around a one-mile track for 24 hours

Samiha miles you get if you get 100 24

hours I will consider you in my race I

did the math 14 some minute mile [ __ ] it

I can do that dumb [ __ ] thinking I'll

tell you that right now

it was rough worst pain I've been in my

entire life or this race so I have my

wife that time she's not my ex-wife we

go to Walmart get a blue lawn chair Ritz

crackers in my licks that's what I'm

gonna have for a hundred mile run

so show up at the start line this race

it was a you a national championships

it's like the best ultra runners compete

against each other to Sydney miles you

can get in 24 hours and I'm this big

bodybuilder looking guy but there's do

it like them I would say I was at least

230 at least it may have been more than

jacked yeah oh yeah I was ripped to [ __ ]

up I'm a big ol chest out date I was I

was jacked up there's a picture I mean

he definitely didn't look like someone

who could run a home run no not at all

so basically I start running and I get

to about mile 40 mile 50 and I'm feeling

pretty good I get to mile 70 and it was

the worst pain of my life i sat down

this blue lawn chair at Mile 70 and my

the rich crackers after mile 20 became

wrist cracker bong sky wasn't hydrating

correctly I don't know what to do I was

drinking mile Plex for my nutrition

because I couldn't eat these rich

crackers have very minimal water if any

at all and I was just dying so I sat

down this blue lawn chair as I was

watching lies runners go around in this

circle and I was all dizzy and

lightheaded hadn't gone in the bathroom

it's been about 12 hours I went 70 miles

about 12 hours which is good and I

looked at my ex-wife now and I was like

I am [ __ ] I started seeing like three

of her and once my body stopped my mind

just went off and I had to go to the

bathroom and the bathroom is like it's

like 20 feet away from me if that not

Cooney

and so I sat there and pee blood down my

leg and start crapping up my back and

for 30 miles to go I am my feet were

broken I was just in the worst shape

because once you stopped running not

running like that I mean I didn't run in

almost a year I was just doing body

building stuff and 20 minutes on the

elliptical trainer no running at all I

probably ran no [ __ ] no [ __ ] no more

than 50 miles the whole year that wasn't

my thing I want it to be like jacked you

know I didn't want to be cardio guy I

want to be ripped big Navy SEAL guy and

um in the day before this race is funny

this guy named Joe Burns who put me

through my hell weeks a SIL guy he's one

of the hardest guys out there he was in

the gym the Friday before I did this

race and he was doing a full body squats

deadlifts power cleans I get my own you

know he he's a guy that proved me to do

this race you know he gave me the

approval to go do this race and signed

off on it so I'm in the gym I went in

there did a full-body hardcore squats

deadlifts and everything with this guy

because I knew he was gonna come watch

me in this race so I've always been

about all right man you're gonna see me

coming here and Jack this weight and the

more you watch me do a hundred mile run

we can think about that so basically I

paid for it so at my so he came out

there with my favorite thing chocolate

you know mini doughnuts because he knew

my story of my past life and brought the

six minute doughnuts out there and I'll

have my hat pulled down and at Mile 70

men it was torturous and with blood down

my leg and 30 miles to go I started

reaching the cookie jars man I started

pulling off all kind of stuff I reached

in my mind and a lot of us when we have

bad times in life even the hardest

person where we forget how badass we are

during that hard time I have a thing

where I take a couple seconds to reflect

on I hang on man you've meant to been

through this you've been through that

you overcame this overcame that I don't

ever close my mind to the fact that this

can't be done

and I knew I had to get up I need

nutrition I need hydration I need to get

stop being dizzy so that's the first

thing I did I didn't panic gonna have 30

more miles to go to get

I start about the process slowly but

surely I was able to stand up and I was

literally hobbling around this track

we're just walking no running at all I

couldn't run my feet were in the worst

pain it's the worst pain I've been in my

entire life nothing in any training is

even a comparable to this last 30 miles

and what happened was my ex-wife looked

at me and she's like man you're this we

agreed I'm not gonna make the time I was

going way too slow

and at that time at mile 81 something

clicked that I'll never probably be able

to do again where my mind body spirit

soul everything disconnected and my mind

knew I wasn't [ __ ] around anymore it

knew it wasn't gonna quit it knew that

guy was dead and buried and gone and I

was gonna die out here on this [ __ ]

Walmart for whatever reason why I was

gonna get through this [ __ ] I

didn't give a damn it made no there was

no [ __ ] crowds there was no trophy at

the end there was I wasn't even in a

race in my mind there was it was nothing

it weren't about nothing there was no

nothing it was a bunch of people who

didn't know who the [ __ ] I was it was me

against me and I used all these

different dark places to start bringing

out light and just [ __ ] going deeper

and deeper in it running the next 20

miles around 101 miles and I ran the

next 20 miles ran at about a 1030 pace

and I did 101 miles in 18 hours and 56

minutes sat back down that blue

port-a-potty now my chair that got from

Walmart and that's when the body

realized I was done and this great

feeling came over me but also the worst

pain in my life I that's when I took a

humongous [ __ ] on myself literally like

I like a [ __ ] log up my [ __ ] back

piss so much blood down and my wife was

she was a nurse and she was freaked out

I couldn't get up I couldn't stand up

she backed this Camry on the knoll of

the grassy area I was at and we were

both lifters at the time so she was

decently strong I put my arms around her

neck she got me to the backseat of the

car that the windows down cos smelled

like horrible [ __ ] and I had this poncho

line because November in San Diego so

I'm sitting there Jack him in the back

his car and she was terrified anything

dr. Anita

that's take me home so we look in the

second story or the second deck of this

apartment complex in San Diego I got to

the first deck so I get a car and I

could stand up but with my arms on her

neck so just leaning down I was gonna

pass out got to the second or I got to

the first deck went down just couldn't

stand up anymore got around her neck

worked up my way up the railing

gamma-gamma I was on her neck again

walked to the kitchen area which is

right in the front door I was laying on

a poncho liner crap was everywhere

I managed she helped me manage to get

into the toilet into the tub and it's

like dirt was coming on my penis

this looked horrible just just that

grossly in the world it was worst pain I

can ever ever ever be in in my life and

the craziest thing I tell your story

because it's right now I'm not sadistic

I'm not crazy people may think that any

way they may want to put a title on me

after hearing me because it makes them

feel better because they think wow this

guy must be some special or just [ __ ]

up crazy dude no I'm a guy that came

from nothing anybody's capable of doing

[ __ ] like this anybody and I sat in that

tub she's put the water on me she called

my mom up and my mom was dating a doctor

at the time the doctor he actually said

you need to get him to a hospital now

she came back in all I want to do is

call Chris Koster on the phone the race

director of bad waters I [ __ ] did it

so she some taken to doctor I said no

let me sit here enjoy this pain she said

what are you talking about I said you

don't I go I need to go to the doctor I

realize that but I never thought it was

humanly possible to do what I did I went

70 miles in at 70 miles I was dead I was

at a hundred percent what I thought what

I thought was 100%

I went 30 I went 31 more miles after

being in the worst physical shape I've

ever been in in my life and all that all

that pain and suffering and thing was

going through my [ __ ] body and I sat

in that tub and the waters hitting me it

was the most amazing feeling of

accomplishment and I want to be numb I

want people to give me drugs and

numbness [ __ ] pain I wanted to I did

this however as crazy as it sounds it

was the most amazing moment of my entire

life to overcome such to come from this

kid who was mentally torturing something

was torture is talk to this kid - Skyy

now who was able to overcome such

amazing odds and obstacles and I called

Chris cost him up the race director of

bad water and he said the idea of a

24-hour race is to run 24 hours you

really ran 19 and he put doubt in my

mind that he was that mean - bad water

so a month later or so about a month and

half later I went this race called the

hurt 100 so hundred mile race in Hawaii

26,000 feet of climb was all he said

that's all he said that's so crazy I

mean he's a hardcore dude but he didn't

know how [ __ ] up I was right and he

said he didn't say well you know I can't

say no I might let you win

he put enough doubt in my mind and say

man I got to do more so I was broken I

was broken bad and like how long does it

take you to recover physically the

funniest thing about this I'll tell a

story very often I had signed up for I'm

getting to that answer it's right now

I'm in deployment and me and my wife my

mom signed up for the first Las Vegas

Marathon down the strip of Las Vegas and

that isn't happened

so I ran 100 miles before I ran a

marathon

two weeks later roughly December 5th was

this marathon that we all signed up for

I couldn't walk I could not walk I was

[ __ ] up so it's ten days or two weeks

after this 100 mile in one race I did

this marathon December 5th Las Vegas I

said you know it's the first one I can't

run maybe I can walk with my mom so I

tried to go out this little Knoll around

our grassy area in San Diego I tried to

run legs were broken I said [ __ ] I can't

even I'm jacked can't do [ __ ] so I said

you know what maybe I'll watch you guys

do the marathon and I'll cheer you guys

on whatever I said I'll try walk with my

mom December 5th happened that gun went

off 2005

14 days after I broke myself off and I

qualified for the Boston Marathon around

308 that's crazy and what's funny about

I know people here says [ __ ]

even when I tell you the story I dropped

I want to drop so many names google it

look it up I don't give a [ __ ] like

almost seems like I'm making my own

story up it does it almost seems like it

to you it does I cannot tell it if I

were to hear somebody I said let's you

know just do you Joe Rogan's podcast I

heard some black dude from [ __ ]

Brazilian hand talking about I this

happened this happened three weeks

Ranger school ran a hundred miles broke

my feet broke my body I'm like this man

he's the biggest [ __ ] liar on the

planet or ain't nobody know [ __ ] even

why I tell my story it almost sounds

like some made-up [ __ ] so yes crazies

you ran a hundred miles before you ever

ran a marathon right then you didn't run

again at all and he's still qualified

for the Boston Marathon so you ran a 308

right for the first marathon you ever

did ever did two weeks after you ran a

hundred miles right with no training and

nothing in between but it gets better

than that you can see my training log to

actually post it up so that's when I

started training for the hurt 100 so

basically what happened was after that I

had about four weeks what did it feel

like to run that 308 if you could barely

walk when that gun went off something

went off in my head and I didn't feel

that much pain at all afterwards I did

but something happened where I was like

the gun went off and that thing came

back like all right man what if because

I want to qualify for Boston that was my

goal but I was I was jacked up you know

and I and I and I didn't run as much

that sort of at all over my Iraq

training I hit the weights and but my

job but but my goal was my son that

forward a year early

I want to qualify for Boston which was a

three 10:59 and I was like what if you

can qualify for Boston mayor and so we

wit helped me out I spent 101 miles

what the [ __ ] is 26 miles to me now so

the mindset going into it was like I ran

75 more miles in this so I use it to my

advantage so after that happened I ran

but my feet pretty much broken I would

go to the physical therapist and they

had this compression tape compressing

tape help because I'm my feet were

pretty bad off and I would run 7080

hundred mile weeks and then I went to

the hurt 100 race in Hawaii 26,000 feet

of climbing over 100 miles probably one

of the top five hardest hundred mile

races in the world

I wouldn't even a real runner yeah I

baked a lot of miles by the last the

last but two and a half about two months

but I want a runner went out there and

got through the race did in 33 hours

with a ninth place finisher

not many people finished that that year

and I qualified for bad water and got in

and I went on to lose weight and train

hard and I got fifth my first year I

went back my second year and got there

when you say you went you lost weight

like what were you eventually way in so

I went to the race about 190 we lost

quite a bit yeah bodybuilding time right

that's over a short period of time right

how did you lose all that way once again

I I just worked out hard I stopped

taking my protein so much I got off I

was on this stuff called a nitro tech

and I got off all the protein stuff I

started I stopped hitting the weights so

hard and I just became a running fool

became the Black Forest got man pretty

much pretty simple man that's what

happened now when you say you were using

compression tape on your feet and that

your feet were jacked up what was the

extent of the injuries so basically

because of my pronation that I never

figured out cuz my soul has muscles I

always had issues with stretch fractures

shin splints so I put a lot of pressure

on the inside of my ankles and so that

there's this tendon that goes up the

backside of your I don't know if it's

your fibula my backside that of that

little bone backs out your foot it goes

right up beside that lot right alongside

that bone and that thing was just so

fluid up on both sides that even this

flexing my foot was just killing me so I

when you can you know when you cast that

thing up casting my feet always helped

me out because it it it locked my foot

into a position that wouldn't made me

pronate as much so between the casting

of that and if you watched the a bad

water video of 2006 you see me crossing

the finish line with this compression

tape literally like flying on my ankles

because I went to the race with

compression tape on my ankles and so

basically I'd have that on my you know

on my ankles I had inserts in my you

know in my shoes and also this wedge on

the back heel of my left foot so then it

would keep me from pronating that heel

so much so I had all that on just to go

around

and I ran my ass off and went to bad

water 2006 and with compression tape on

my feet and walked a lot but I got third

place do you always run with regular

running shoes I do yeah so now I don't

have those issues anymore all the

stretching has opened my body up to

where I know how it should have been so

my alignment is pretty good it's not

perfect so now I just run in regular

running shoes now no no more compression

tape no more none that stuff so if you

see now if you look down there you'll

see they can press it up and you'll see

my ex-wife here in a second taking their

compression tape off of me she's doing

it right now

you see her right now you know she said

tape yeah so that's the tape I didn't

have to wear every day of my life to run

Wow so as you see the story may be kind

of unbelievable but there's some proof

right there so that's how I was so

painful yeah I was pretty [ __ ] up as

you see right now me trying to get all

man yeah I'm pretty destroyed right

there what is the most amount of miles

you've ever run at one time yeah two

hundred and five and thirty nine hours

Wow non-stop whoo yeah I've had quite a

few people on I've met quite a few

people now over the last year so that

have run ultras Courtney doe Walter you

know she is she won the Moab okay yeah I

heard my 40 rather heard about yes she

she beat all the men by 22 miles

something like that some crazy things

she was first place winner she beat

everybody else

second place one word

and with her I mean you would never

believe it wouldn't talk to her she

seemed so normal right she drinks beer

and eats nachos needs candy ultrarunner

man she's just silly and she's fun

yep and there's no demon there I like

waiting to meet a demon right you know

I'm like where's your demon like how are

you getting through her demons a quiet

demon right it's it's there it has to be

okay there's something there has to be

there's no other people that everybody I

know that that can do that as a demon a

lot of us don't want admit to [ __ ] yeah

we got him a hundred percent it has to

be yeah so when you do this and you you

qualify and you do that race in Hawaii

right they just let you in after that no

so the race in Hawaii yeah I actually

called the race jerk threw up and there

wasn't like a big time like I had to

have 100-mile race I believe as I had

and so you know 100-mile you did the

boss of merit or you did the Vegas

marathon yeah so I did a hundred mile

101 miles the Vegas marathon went to

hurt 100 did that hundred mile ER and

all this is in a very short amount of

time yeah so November was the first time

jamala December was the 26 mile or not

in Las Vegas January was the next

hundred miles on Hawaii you know [ __ ]

crazy that is like say if I was your

friend and I called you up on October

20th I go hey man how many times you run

like run every night I see something

crazy I'm gonna pull it up or not but if

you can pull my race schedule for 2007

this pull up David Goggins race results

you can see something real crazy in a

second they saying this is good and I

gotta show you proof because why I know

my story doesn't make any sense but this

look at the dates of these races and

we're gonna show it to you in a second

it's um just look at the hundred miles

and 15 hours back-to-back weekends how

many weekends there were between races

so if you look right here you can't

really see it so he's look at 2007 yeah

go all the way down keep on going 2007

steals races there and do that okay get

to right there so hundred mile or Hawaii

oh gee looked up first two weeks later

three weeks later another one that's

50-miler a 50-miler

a month later then looking at what 14

days later another 50k

50-miler month later they look at less

than a month

another 50-miler 53 milder in June July

was another 100 miler bad water was

literally reached that water was a month

after I did that hundred mile or 135

Marlette Ville was less than a month

after bad water the plane 100 was three

weeks after Leadville Angels crest was

to attend date a week after that energy

modeler the bare 100 was wet thirteen

days after that hundred mile or she and

then I ran the two hundred and it said

to her and three point five but I didn't

ran toward its 205 miles around there

but what's not in there was that

McNaughton race I did in two thousand or

fifty mile race I also did in two

thousand seven that wasn't lifted so

that was just my 2007 year that's insane

yeah so do you think that is what [ __ ]

your body up no no no because I I still

run the same mileage now well [ __ ] my

body up was hell week really oh yeah you

don't go through three hell weeks in one

year so I so what happened was when I

realized that my body is really jacked

up was I went I was a big-time squatter

loved squatting and I went through the

first hell week got messed up ii hope

you got all the way through then throw

hope we could got all the way through

and my third hell we could hit me that

guy died on Thursday and then that hell

weekend and I graduated pulmonary edema

it was a code name was John stop it code

is [ __ ] hell week the Pacific Oceans

never warm and it rained the whole time

the whole time is rain and he pretty

much just drown on his own fluid pretty

much we were in the pool doing some

evolution he sunk to the bottom his

temperature was hot he missed a lot of

hell week for getting pulled out for

different stuff he wouldn't go quit and

I'm heating up dying he'll week but um

yeah so anyway after hell week ended I

want to go back to the gym you know so

second phase happened I face like I can

get back in the gym so I jacking my

weight

I love jack and weight and I realized I

couldn't squat so I went from squatting

a lot to I couldn't even squat the bark

and my lower back was all [ __ ] up I

was like I don't know what's going on

it was cuz this this muscle so inhale

week your hip flexors are so and I went

through so many of them so fast

and so the hardest part of buds I went

through three times not not the healthy

part yes one the hardest parts but it

was the initial part of the where

everybody sees on TV the log PT to surf

torture the dad gone boats over your

head law all that [ __ ] I went through

that person three times in one year and

over a period of time my hip flexors got

so tight that is jacked me up it jacked

me up for my hip flexor so so always

being so cold and so stressed out and

everything led up to it

but this really was the part that I

noticed I could squat before hell week

or before my first time going to buds

after after buds I couldn't I couldn't

squat anymore do you just think it might

just be because your body was exhausted

no cuz I for 12 years so I would I would

go back and tough it out like like with

Joe burns he was squatting so I said

[ __ ] I almost caught with Joe burns but

I just couldn't squat cuz that that

muscle was attached here at t12 so what

was it doing - is it locking up it was

pulling and so it made my hips feel like

I couldn't sink my ass oh I couldn't

sink so his incredible pain and then

with the weight pushing me down and then

trying to push up the pain was just is

just too much so so this is all range of

motion is always in motion issues yeah

Wow that that's an important thing for

my friend cam Haynes who doesn't stretch

he's another friend of mine who runs

ultra races he ran that moab 240 he's

run the bigfoot 205 he's run a few of

those right um i know he's listening go

stretch dude yes support man it was

especially if you work in that hard

right if you're doing that much yeah

you're you're definitely locking up he

could barely touch his toes yeah that's

not a good thing that's not good no no

it comes back to hurt you inside pretty

soon now how flexible you now cuz I

would imagine you probably a [ __ ]

ballerina at this point because sad when

your brain I'm trying to get there I'm

trying to get there so I stretch every

night for at least two hours there's a

thing that people said that it always

pissed me off like because I'm pretty

flexible they said oh you're naturally

flexible people have a natural threshold

like

oh they don't like a doctor told me that

I go you don't know what you're talking

about I'm like you don't know what you

talk about cuz most people don't push

themselves past that pain that stretch

pain alright people want to put a title

on your mask

easy for them oh yes exactly natural

exactly now you don't work hard enough

[ __ ] yeah people built like

chimps aren't usually flexible right you

have to you have to force yourself to do

that's right and I know it because I had

a friend my friend Tom our dog nah he

was a football player Jack big fick dude

terrible flexibility was taking

Taekwondo with me

and over the course of a couple years I

saw that dude eventually develop a full

split there you go and he just did it

through his mind yes was everybody else

was done training that guy would be on

the mat constantly stretch and always

working out cuz he had built his body up

so strong through all those years of

squatting and lifting yeah that he just

you know he was all tense everything was

just like this super powerful right but

all like very tense that's why I stopped

you know that's why I never stretched

because I wanted that strength yeah yeah

you want that tight muscle but no I

don't think it is stupid yeah I think

you're not supposed to stretch before

you do big physical activities because I

think it does like weaken you somewhat

but I don't think being flexible overall

makes you weak or not at all yeah what

certainly doesn't from martial arts

because you need that flexibility to

have leg dexterity to be able to kick

right it's got to be fluid where it's

not tightened up by the restriction of

the motion of your body I get it it's

truth I just think people are for

whatever reason and I'm one of those

drone on too much about yoga I'm like

one of those vegans it's like you got to

do it man right he's trying

I get it knowing like a born-again

Christian or something I'm getting that

way now man that way now for anybody

does anything hard like you know if you

do anything like with weightlifting type

[ __ ] or martial arts type [ __ ] where

it's just everything's explosion its

lifting it's heavy

push push push right yoga just will

balance your [ __ ] out yeah well yeah

really well man and there's all these

people that resist it like there was

some article recently that it was

something along the lines of hot yoga is

just trendy nonsense

I've read that and then even in the

article it talked about that there might

be some benefits in terms of like the

strengthening your arteries and they

didn't even mention

heat-shock proteins is a study going on

right now I believe it's at Harvard one

of my friends was telling me about it

where they're they're trying to find the

benefits of 90 minute hot yoga classes

because they think it might mirror the

observed benefits of sauna which they

already know for a fact has big benefits

because of your body producing heat

shock proteins to deal with the heat

right that's why I put that sauna in

here man I go in that [ __ ] all the

time well no one can tell me doesn't

work that's big it's proof positive you

changed my life it wasn't a medication

or this or a dress it was stretching

yeah it was yoga stretching all that

stuff combined changed it well I just

think it balances out your body in those

static poses where you're just holding

the pose and it just it works you out in

a weird way

that one's a person you just don't get

lifting weights or hitting the bag or

anything out you're just not gonna get

that that kind of working out I can't

agree with you more it's so difficult

crazy get your ass off and [ __ ] and

you're like this is like the silent

struggle it's humbling nobody knows it's

like if you see like two doorways right

and one of them is like [ __ ] CT Ollie

Fletcher's [ __ ] super pump iron

addicts gym which is hard work and then

right next to it is the yoga studio

you're like well once you get done with

all that hard work you'll go over to

that yoga studio no there's two

different kinds of hard work going on

it's no joke two different kinds of hard

work yes sir so what do you do now in

terms of like you got over this five

years ago you're in this bad situation

when your body's not working right now

everything's working great again well I

had two heart surgeries also whoa yeah

so you know your heart so I had a hole

in it so you know you're not supposed to

have a hole in your heart and be a seal

and it reborn with it I was born with it

it went undetected and me pushing so

hard so around in 2009 I was trying to

first race across America and I just

couldn't go anymore another pitfall in

my life was the hole and I was pretty

much off active duty steel for three

years yeah you know I had two hearts for

them trying to fix it so the hole was

significantly large look how big that

they say it was as big as a quarter now

Mike Holly Hill is it big as a quarter

yeah that's

a pretty big hole in your heart because

they had to helix patches I'm like

that's impossible that the helix patches

they're in my heart so the two stents

what is a helix patch it is like a

little mesh very like what they do for

hernias like something maybe something

like that so they went through my

femoral artery and they placed this

patch but to go through your artery yeah

everything my femoral artery yeah

looking with a camera yeah whoa so what

no the cameras down through my throat

whoa and they put this catheter through

my femoral artery get went to my heart

they they went and they took this helix

patch they place it in there and then

they found out six months later that the

hole wasn't covered up enough yet

because always I mean in the huge patch

was very damn big so they put it go back

in there in 2010 how does the patch

adhere to your heart I guess your heart

heals around the patch so but how did

they stick it in place I I guess they

put it with the holes at uh-huh and then

it kind of like inflates oh wow the hole

is that and then that that thing goes in

there and then it kind of covers a hole

and in the heart so there's two things

in my heart right now that the heart

just kind of covered up whoa okay so

there you go Jamie's got an image of it

for us whoa so so it's attached to this

little probe right and then they put it

over the area where the injury is Wow

that's insane yeah atrial septum defect

if I had atrial septal defect so

basically everything I had done I then

got from medicine oh [ __ ] you do I'll be

done that's so crazy that they could do

that yeah so I was out for I was

off-duty for three years so I stuck I

was in a recruiting area for three years

trying to get back on active duty and

that was my life for three years so they

put that patch in yep and now your

heart's 100% 100%

it sounds percent Wow yeah that's

incredible yeah I was losing you know

blood and I was just I was a bad off

it's just amazing that you were able to

do all that with a hole in your heart

that's what the doctors were saying you

know because eight naw I was a seal so

when I went in and the doctor that found

the hole are like so they'd gave me EKGs

all this stuff once again

may you after I ran like 205 miles you

know Ryan made you're in great shape I'm

like man I just don't feel good like

walking up the stairs this making me

jacked up so the doctor doc Shrek he's

like you know gave me he can go to the

doctor get an echocardiogram so I'm in

there getting echocardiogram just

chilling out in there and the guys

talking to him he has his little wand in

my heart

we're bullshitting about stuff and he

when people get quiet [ __ ] not good

man so he's in there this has one of my

heart chilling out yeah man we doing

yeah you know what's going on now like

he says I'll be right back

he goes and gets a doctor doctor comes

in puts thing I'm a heart the doctor

gets another doctor now I'm just

freaking the [ __ ] out I'm like okay cuz

when it comes to your heart

that was a big deal so they come back in

they say hey we can stop the

echocardiogram I mean he talked you out

in the hallway you have a hole in your

heart and the guy didn't know that I was

he knew I was Navy god I don't think he

was a seal because not me black guys are

seals and he had a conversation about

you know we gotta fix this real quick I

said yeah I mean then I came up that I

was the seal he said man you could have

died jumping you could die diving you

could have died into all this stuff cuz

basically the hole in your heart if it

gets plugged with something like

anything like you know let's say you get

a bubble from diving or something like

that

you got died right so I I I call it luck

I call it look so I I got through two

surgeries they put me back on they give

you the first one yeah and when do they

realize that it's not done not good

enough so they take you back and you get

a bubble study a bubble test so it's so

they like literally send bubbles that

way safe bubbles that way to see if the

bubble goes through your heart so they

have this this echocardiogram again and

they hook you up I think to ID or

something like that and they throw these

bubbles through your heart and they see

if it goes through after six months when

I should've been healed up the bubble

went through so had to tell me then hey

we got a you know you're not you're not

good to go so

I had to take a year before I have

another surgery because because that

patch had to be completely completely

healed so they can go back in time you

knew you had a hole right so so then you

add a hole because of the heart surgery

probably all this time like when you're

waiting for it details you know you have

an extra hole yes I don't have a hole

yes

what were you allowed to do with your

body then well at that time they go you

know do how you feel comfortable and so

you know the hole is not going to kill

you right now but you can't die if you

can't jump you pretty much wouldn't

steal anymore so I was a recruiter for a

period of time so basically I was crazy

about that is before my second surgery I

was actually training for Delta Force I

was I wanted to go to Delta and I was

rucking ruck running a lot and before my

second truck running I mean you're

running with a package I pack on my back

with some weight on how heavy is the

pack 50 60 pounds and you run with that

on well you're supposed to hike or hump

like ruck hopping right I ran with it

because I was you know I that's what I

did right so the date of the day of the

day of heart surgery I did a ruck run

Jesus because I knew I was gonna be out

of commission for a while so [ __ ] it

matter get my last one in dude Jesus

Christ all I could do I have my training

launch after my second heart surgery all

I could do was walk so I became an ultra

Walker I walked my [ __ ] ass off and I

over a period of time it took a year for

that thing to heal up in the hill you

know my first bubble study after my

second heart surgery came back negative

or positive the bubble went through

again oh no and they're gonna crack me

open oh man over that period of time my

heart healed around that thing nicely

and I passed a second bubble test so the

first bubble test was how long after a

year it was so the first bubble test

after the first surgery was six months

and then you had to go through a full

six months after that variety heal then

you have the second heart surgery and

when does the bubble test fail after the

second heart surgery it was about six

months Jesus Christ and they said and

the doctor looked at me and said you

know I'm sorry to inform you maybe we

have to crack your chest open the next

time they're really getting there

and so I sat back thinking this could be

a third heart surgery and then that one

they said we have to wait for six months

to see if this thing's gonna close up

right yeah I came back thinking man I'm

about to get cracked the [ __ ] open and

that bubble got pinned up man Wow when

they go through maybe forced it through

with your mind

it may add something to visualize holy

[ __ ] man that is crazy yeah it's crazy

one on a ruck run with a hole in your

heart - well I did it for several years

I said [ __ ] it

keep on going man that's amazing now

after all said and done everything's

good now yeah everything's I mean I'm

sure supposed to pop up in my [ __ ]

ass not to do that you know everything's

good right now

I'm always waiting for the next thing to

pop up and I hang on the same way I was

attack it but yeah I said right now I'm

in the best shape my 43 years old just

turned 43 February 17th I am in the best

shape my life I'm not knocking on wood

because life [ __ ] it life comes at you

dude so right [ __ ] knocking on wood come

at me I mean I would think that you

would be a go-to guy for injuries yeah I

give anybody had a ball I've had them

all I found when you broke the world

record for chin-ups didn't you rip your

arm apart pull-ups yeah so if you pull

up the picture man there's a picture of

my hand you'll see I'll know what is it

pull ups are so pull ups are here hands

out hands out and chin ups our hands

right hands forward so I failed three

times before I finally got it the third

time and I the first time I ripped the

[ __ ] on my forearm and then the second

time you'll see there's a picture of my

hand and it it's a third-degree burn so

that's my hand oh Jesus man what in the

[ __ ] is going to look at you a bit by a

wolf

so what's funny about that as you see

that uh that doesn't create after one

pull-up so if you can imagine the pain

of because you know you have one contact

point that's it

mmm you like running you can overcome it

cuz it these big giant legs and right

it's different when you have these

little fragile

punk-ass hands touching the bar no

imagine four thousand thirty pull-ups

how many times you're coming

that bar coming off right now way 207

pounds at the time so I was I was a

bigger guy I'm like 195 or 185 now so I

was almost 22 pounds heavier so I was a

lot bigger than I am right there ma'am

you look pretty get that [ __ ] man

so you were doing it in sets of five

sets of five so as you see I have these

different people who are witnessing you

you have to have your your your number

there to make sure that you're you know

qualified for the Guinness Book of World

Record that's 1450 I have a long way to

govern another four thousand and fifteen

pull-ups to go hurt Jesus Christ so yeah

and how long did you do this over 24

hours it was seven so I brought it at 17

Wow and I was [ __ ] over it what did

it feel like in the last chin up

you know what actually here's a video

that we have and I was chasing this guy

named Steven Highland so this guy named

Steven Highland had the record and the

video is my last three pulls for broke

the record I'm talking so much [ __ ]

there's another [ __ ] I'm like hey

[ __ ] you thought was good get it

huh I told you [ __ ] ass [ __ ]

I'm coming after you I'm here now is

this me talking [ __ ] it's a cool video

but I felt um I felt nothing I was just

happy I have to do anymore

I just 67,000 pull-ups in nine months G

in training first record for 4000 and

the failures so I I did the first time

in September failed miserably on this

today shot the twenty five hundred and

eighty eight or something like that

film is me for millions of people two

months later November tried again failed

again two months later in January 19th I

finally [ __ ] got it so after I got it

wasn't like I'm happy it was like I

gotta do more [ __ ] pull-ups anymore

Roger that so it was I had a [ __ ]

check that [ __ ] but you were doing them

when I got here today you know why cuz

now it's a party dude I don't like doing

this we could get somebody knocks him

out you don't like doing them so you got

to do them that's my whole life

isn't it like someone someone gets drunk

on a certain whiskey like if they smell

it they'll get disgusted like like

Jagermeister or something like that they

smell it no oh right is that what it's

like with you chin ups

along with envelopes with a lot of a lot

of things yeah right now I'm like

running out like and people don't

believe it but you know I was I was a

big guy twice in my life so hence the

reason why I just don't like running man

it hurts it's brutal it sucks going out

and I'm gonna be gone for two hours or

I'm gonna be going 49 hours right

running on a one mile track

[ __ ] I'm not crazy man it sucks I mean

you know people put me in this category

of you must be some crazy guy who loves

it no man no that's why I do it though

that's the only way to couch your [ __ ]

brain man I want me to get hard a lot

people take these classes on mental

toughness I even steals in the class

about visualization self-talk eat an

elephant one by that time breathing

control Roger that you gotta put

yourself in hellacious situation it's a

lifestyle how are you going to react how

are you gonna react

all that training goes out the [ __ ]

door when you're in the [ __ ] cold

water and you're [ __ ] miserable it's

the first hour of a hundred thirty hours

of hell week and that first wave goes

over your head and you're the codis

you've been in your life and your mind

goes from our one to our one [ __ ]

thirty all that [ __ ] self talking

[ __ ] dude you ain't think about anything

about getting the [ __ ] out of here but

if you live this [ __ ] on a daily basis

and you know how to calm your mind down

this self-talk will help all that stuff

will help but usually we react we have

pain we have suffering we react and we

react about get the [ __ ] out of here we

got to go it's those people were able to

control that [ __ ] feeling and [ __ ]

flight and say no I'm a [ __ ] there's a

way through this it's not going to be

your forever I'm not cold right now

I let the three of them I'm not cold now

I'm in a nice warm studio with you you

got to think about that [ __ ] it's just

going to end it's going to end but we

don't know that we don't think that at

that time it's gonna last forever and

then you get to sit back on Friday there

by walking across the you know back on

the grinder all the 16 17 guys that

graduated Hill week and you a chance to

watch these guys victorious

and then you get the chance think about

that you take that hot warm shower first

thing that comes to your [ __ ] minds

why the [ __ ] that I quit so what keeps

me going

I've quit several things I know what's

on the back end the [ __ ] quitting

it's a lifetime of thinking about why

[ __ ] did I do that and I ain't [ __ ]

doing that there's something about

talking to a guy like you that a lot of

people hope that you're gonna say some

magic thing that's gonna click in their

brain everybody gets change who they are

like what is it what is the thing that's

why people go to these self-help

conferences and they take these classes

and they hope that someone's gonna say

something that changes the way their

mind works it's hilarious to me it is

it's kind of hilarious to me too but

what is also hilarious is that what

you're saying is that you have to do

those things you have to suffer you have

to live in it you have to be comfortable

in it and then maybe some of that [ __ ]

will help you a little bit along the way

period and I went to I was a when I was

a still recruiter I got invited to MIT

smart ass [ __ ] there man I'm

not that I miss a garanimal Dumber

knuckle-dragger

and there was this guy that I forget his

name but he was like the top head head

guy old white guy you know all genius

doubt and we were on this panel and they

were asking us all these questions about

the mind mental toughness and [ __ ] he

was answering them and I wasn't

answering any questions now I'll never

forget he was just answering off of

theory mmm he never put his [ __ ] ass

and [ __ ] you read a bunch of [ __ ]

books and you think that you know how

the [ __ ] mind works and [ __ ] I've

gone through hell just a kid and then

all the way up until now right so I know

so that theory is [ __ ] yeah there's

a lot of good stuff out there you can

read from people but I had lived hell

and when you put yourself in hell that's

the only time you can figure out how the

[ __ ] to get through that [ __ ]

you can't you can't read somebody else's

book about some theory on how to do [ __ ]

some guy who was set up in there a nice

warm office and read and wrote some book

with a nice cup of coffee in the [ __ ]

hand no I want to see that guy who put

immersed himself in [ __ ] hell and he

thought about quitting and leaving him

and his wife and his kids and why am I

here is it is it worth it all this crazy

[ __ ] it still said if I

not a way to get through it so basically

that's that's the bottom line of it all

we all want to read about how we can

quickly get somewhere that's why that

six-minute abs and also it's so powerful

did you make it some results from it

they're not permanent

the permanent result comes from you

[ __ ] I say it all time you have to

suffer you have to make that a tattoo on

your [ __ ] brain so when that hard

time comes again you don't forget it

you may forget it for a second but you

can go back in the cookie jar call it

it's a it's something that we've all

indoors I call it the cookie jar and we

often forget how hard we are but you got

reflect back take a cup of sighs reflect

I've been through this I've been through

that and then remind yourself I'm a bad

[ __ ] and then you can get do

that [ __ ] but if you don't believe it

you ever endured [ __ ] you're just

blowing smoke man and you're not gonna

get to anything what was this guy saying

look what was his theories that he was

throwing out there his theories was

about I forget exactly what it was was

there some about what the mind does

under stress and how we can't he said

how we can't do something and I did it I

did what he said we couldn't do like

what was he saying he couldn't do it was

somebody if you're born if you're born a

certain way somebody if you're born a

certain way you can't become this way it

was totally saying that would Who I am

now like I had to be born with some not

genetic power or some some gift from God

but I had to have some kind of special

gift had to have some kinda special gift

I forget what set me off but was that we

had to be - to be somewhere you had to

be born with it what was the concept and

I know what I was born with and I know

the battle that I had in my mind so when

he said it is sad to look at my face and

some on the crowd ask me a question yeah

I totally count addicted everything he

said and I was like nah man I mean I

[ __ ] know for a fact that you can be

this [ __ ] up dude like really [ __ ]

up dude

and with the right mindset it is it

sounds so easy with the right mindset

doesn't sound easy

it's know what you're saying it sounds

very simplistic answer right you can you

can't but you have to go into the dark

chambers that we often shut off and you

got to open them up you can open up and

fight that [ __ ] demon get in there

talk to that [ __ ] and say what's

up and we often take that we all like to

take this four-lane highway the easy

highway has has [ __ ] signs it has

restaurants we all loved that four-lane

highway we always step over the shovel

and all I did was I picked up that

[ __ ] shovel and that shovel I made my

own path and you may have big boulders

and [ __ ] they may be getting towards and

miles up the road faster than you but

going through this path of life this

journey over here that you make yourself

that's incredibly difficult but it comes

out to the other end of that

[ __ ] is some glorious [ __ ]

that you can't even explain to people

and we're afraid bottom line is most of

us even the people have all these

theories and [ __ ] it's easier to accept

the fact that I'm just not good enough I

wasn't made to do that and yeah some of

us can't be LeBron [ __ ] James but

I'll tell you right now man we can do a

lot of [ __ ] when it comes to this pure

long guts and willpower and getting

through [ __ ] we have a lot more with a

lot more and we think we have yeah the

problem with a guy like that with his

theory is his theories of based on

results and those results are based on

human beings and most human beings

there's certain people that are born

with certain gifts like a guy like

LeBron James is a physical talent you

know John Jones and MMA obviously

physical talent but there's when you

look at someone who's super successful

you always assume that it has to be

because of some sort of physical gifts

because people look at themselves and

I'm sure this doctor this old dude

probably had like a little gut and

probably exactly I looked a little tiny

arms weak shoulders and probably thought

well there's certain people that are

just mesomorphic and probably broke it

down all these scientific terms right

you know they just have a fast twitch

muscle fibers and they'll say all this

crazy [ __ ] that is true

at the very highest levels of the

winners right but it doesn't mean that

you can't become that no it just means

that it's too painful for most people to

go through so very few people ever get

there so if you look at the actual

results he would be correct

but he's not correct because he doesn't

take the shovel exactly that's not the

more the story does not some easy

lit up streetlights right half with nice

smooth roads right it's a difficult

[ __ ] where you're gonna fail and

you're gonna be in your head you could

be saying I'm not good enough and it's

how you get through that is how you get

through that on a daily basis when that

thing is say man I'm 43 I've done so

much you start to become civilized the

refrigerator gets full you start getting

making money and you start I'm not

getting cold anymore I'm retired what's

in at forty people shouldn't be playing

basketball or football or beating them

up you start to believe this [ __ ] and it

becomes in your [ __ ] mind like there's

people who are retiring you know at

40-something years or 37 years old at 43

I'm still putting a hundred-mile weeks

still doing thousands of pull-ups

thousands of push-ups because I'm not

allowing myself to become civilized the

worst didn't happen to a man's become

civilized you lose that [ __ ] fight you

you you you lose that why the [ __ ] am i

doing this [ __ ] I'm good you ain't good

man you ain't never [ __ ] arrived and

that's just my mentality you may have

more but you'd never [ __ ] arrive you

want to be uncommon a most uncommon

people period uncommon amongst uncommon

people is one of the greatest ways to

put it that's it like if you're if

you're like for me what got me in

trouble with the Navy SEALs is I want to

be one so bad so bad I fought my ass off

yeah I saw them as uncommon people very

uncommon but once you become a Navy SEAL

you're all Navy SEALs so guess what

happens your [ __ ] common again I

wanted to be uncommon amongst uncommon

people I want it to be the guy I don't

care if you [ __ ] like knock if you

understand me I didn't give a [ __ ] once

I went through this [ __ ] journeys

path of life you ain't got in a whole

bunch of [ __ ] guys that don't [ __ ]

like me I don't give a [ __ ] I'm a

warrior

period who's like I've been a lot more

combat to me a Warriors not always that

words a [ __ ] who says hey I'm

here again today I'm here again tomorrow

gonna be here the next day I'm 50 years

old I'm still [ __ ] getting after it

it's a person that puts no [ __ ] limit

on what's possible and that's what got

me in trouble like that's why I went to

Ranger School as a seal that's why I try

to go to Delta Force twice you know I

bet I've been through all these

different training programs cuz I was

looking for in the military what I saw

is in the training these people get

their ass handed to him after they get

out a lot of them get civilized I always

wanted to go back in the training and I

we were always I want to go back to war

in the war was in that training program

where you see guys you can quit guys who

are brutal guys who are suffering guys

who are you go so as a seal you don't

volunteer for Ranger school I did I put

in seven chicks got turned down I get

you know got accepted I went at 28 29

years old and they go why did you go

because I started becoming civilized I

started becoming complacent I I needed

to get my [ __ ] ass kicked again and

when you go as a seal going down to it

you have no rank and Ranger school you

could be a major you're just [ __ ] Joe

Brown you're nobody and you're not

eating you're not sleeping so I always

would put myself I would immerse myself

and [ __ ] like that even IRA climb the

ladder and I intentionally fall back

down that [ __ ] to say all right

man getting soft dude getting soft kick

your [ __ ] ass again and I you know

it's kind of process did you find

resistance from that amongst other guys

that didn't like to make that you were

making them uncomfortable because that

is something that people there's a

natural instinct that people have when

someone's working harder than them to

somehow another diminish that person

well I know that a lot of guys don't

like me for a lot of reasons and I

realize that I am a guy that doesn't

care if you like me or not and when

you're an alpha male and you're against

other alpha males and we eat our own

alpha males eat their own now I love

that [ __ ] let's [ __ ] go man I want to

eat a man I'm all about that kind of

mentality

but I was sometimes take it to another

level now I went part of a of a good old

boy network I don't wanna be part I want

to be David [ __ ] gaga for too long in

my life and it got me in trouble for

time I left I wanted to be accepted

growing up

I lied I [ __ ] did what I could for if

you [ __ ] like UFC and I didn't I love

it I love it man let's go [ __ ] watch

me be my friend be my buddy

that [ __ ] weak-ass [ __ ] I found out

through this path of life who is David

Gaga's Who am I so going through all I

did it alone

there was no [ __ ] trophy on the

[ __ ] wall on the mantel that trophy

is my [ __ ] brain no one helped me get

you know I pay my [ __ ] bills no one

did [ __ ] for me no one ran those [ __ ]

miles lost that [ __ ] weight with the

hood

I suffered on my own and developed this

man who said Who I am a very competitive

ultra competitive do that take it what

you want man I call that personal

sovereignty exactly who's not a lot of

people that have that that's me and

there's a lot of people that change who

they are depending upon what people want

from them and that's that's me yeah

that's important man most people

struggle their whole life to find out

who they are

struggle their whole their whole life to

find out what defines them what they

actually enjoy and what they don't you

start putting yourself in situations

that suck you'll find yourself yeah

you'll find it real quick that is the

thing right and that's one of the things

that have gotten from paying attention

to you is that you what you're preaching

what you're talking about is finding

yourself through struggle it's it it's

only way to find yourself you don't find

yourself if you like best present and

you [ __ ] press all the [ __ ] time what

are you finding out if you like to swim

that's all you want to do is swim what

are you finding out put that in people

always I people talk about triple down

on your [ __ ] strengths right that's

the [ __ ] weakest [ __ ] in the world no

triple down on your [ __ ] weaknesses

yeah find out something about yourself

you right know that you're good [ __ ] you

know the happy [ __ ] right that's why I'm

on my Facebook page because why don't

you talk about good times you know how

to get you that [ __ ] [ __ ]

you don't need a [ __ ] you don't need

to I tell you how to get to its happy

right that's easy [ __ ] right I want to

tell you how you can help yourself get

through the times that suck real life

this is real life 90% of your life will

suck 10% will be [ __ ] happy you may

be lucky God have a lot of [ __ ] money

have a great ass woman all this [ __ ]

trust me one on one with that [ __ ]

guy he's missing something

his life still sucks that he hasn't

faced something that bothered him his

whole [ __ ] life something is still

eating that [ __ ] up almost

everybody everybody eating you the [ __ ]

up but maybe you found a good way how I

did growing up on how to ignore that

voice that's saying you ain't facing

some [ __ ] period man I'm not special I

just stopped listening I I listen to

that voice it was why I talk so [ __ ]

aggressive people said man do you

believe in God you cuss so much when I

say [ __ ] it's a is letting you know what

I'm thinking if I try to make it all

pretty and [ __ ] that's not what my life

was it was a violent violent struggle

daily to get where I'm at today I'm not

gonna water it down like a watered down

[ __ ] wasn't fun ain't fun today

I'm happy don't you think that your

happiness is probably elevated by the

amount of pain that you've gone through

a hundred percent so the amount of

suffering that you understand the amount

of pain that you've gone through makes

you appreciate the happiness and the

beautiful moments with much more

intensity that's what weak people miss

about my story weak people hear this

soft kid I'm a guy he must be miserable

oh my god what the hell is wrong with

them you're missing the [ __ ] story

you're not listening to the story man

look what I overcame if that doesn't put

some badge of honor tattooed in your

[ __ ] brain for the rest of your life

you can die today talking to Joe Rogan

you're missing the story man am I happy

what the [ __ ] do you think don't miss it

don't misunderstand the past and wish I

speak for not being intensely happy

happiest person in the world but I'm not

done

so not gonna speak to you like oh man

everything is great no I have a lot more

[ __ ] to do a lot more [ __ ] to do well

this is in the same use of the word that

you used the Warriors mentality the

Warriors life right this is this is the

way that you can keep balanced and sane

right and and keep a good grip on who

you are period and like there's a quote

that was said I don't know who said it

but was a great quote this guy said

going into combat going into war out of

the hundred men that going to war

tension you [ __ ] be there eighty of

them are this target's ten do most of or

nine do most of fighting one is a

warrior and it's a true quote to life I

saw it going through train I saw it

everywhere I went

there's so many people who just show up

to life that shouldn't even [ __ ] be

around and there's a few people who do

all the work I wanted to be part of that

nine and I'm working towards being that

one and that's how I live my life now

what are you doing with your life these

days right now I keep the same I'm very

routine I get every morning I run I go

to the gym and then at nighttime I

stretch out I am a mom just trying to

develop a business costing me a lot of

money trying to do that I'm just getting

out I'm an introvert so I never want to

get on social media I'm not big on that

I'm big on being with yourself

I believe all these [ __ ] cameras and

phones and [ __ ] it takes you away from

the most powerful thing in the world

which is your [ __ ] mind so I try hard

to continue to grow that I'm trying to

break a record again I'm trying to cross

Death Valley as fast as possible top of

Mount Whitney and I'm constantly trying

to put goals and for me but the biggest

thing is I'm trying to find more of

myself and the only way I can find more

is to silence the world out as much as I

can because it's getting busier every

day it's getting faster and the faster

it gets the more you are missing who the

[ __ ] you are so I trapped my own mind a

lot and said look man I put my phone

away I'll put [ __ ] away and I go dark I

go dark a lot and it's

because I have to find out I'm on a

journey of life and we all have a

different journey and I want to be in my

[ __ ] pine box and I believe your

spirit lives forever has too it's too

[ __ ] powerful no way in hell that

thing that's dies when you die I want to

be able to look back on my life and I'm

all dead and be so [ __ ] proud of

myself forever this is all temporary

[ __ ] to me I want to be forever proud of

who I was as a man and change who I used

to be the liar the insecure guy the guy

who can whatever I want to be proud but

if I died now if I die at 84 diet 9800 I

want to look at myself as a proud of

myself don't you think that also like we

were saying that because you've gone

through so much struggle you appreciate

happiness true happiness do you think

that you appreciate discipline because

you weren't discipline do you think you

appreciate the hard work you put in

because you used to be weak yes I

appreciate self-discipline yes I never

had a crazy thing about what you know

you say that I have a [ __ ] can

wake me up at 3 o'clock in the [ __ ]

morning and say hey you gotta get your

[ __ ] in I had no trainer I have a

nutritionist it was the self-discipline

that I had to survive not survive I was

weak to thrive no one say man you're 297

pounds man

I wanna help you out I mean you're

[ __ ] you're not smart I'm gonna help

you out I had to work at all this [ __ ] I

had to overcome and and it self

discipline is everything if you don't

have it I don't look at you right now I

know you're capable of more it's not

discipline so much for me it's all on

you it's all on you the self part it was

big we need someone to hold people

accountable [ __ ] that [ __ ] man

[ __ ] that [ __ ] we we count on people too

much to get us through [ __ ] and we look

to our right we look to our left we're

looking for help and if you can build

that self you can build that total

accountability in oneself and it's not

about being selfish I'm trying to create

a better me so hopefully people who are

hearing this are taking it the right way

can say I can run a mile anybody run a

205 [ __ ] mile doing for

Venis it ain't bout all that [ __ ] she

doesn't matter I want you to see how

[ __ ] far you can go and that's all

it's about yourself and that's where it

all comes from Willis and I guarantee

you've already done that

what you experienced from watching that

television show and with what got you

out the door what got you to sort of

take the first steps to change your life

will you experience by watching rocky

what you experience of inspiration those

are critical for people they need to

know that someone's done something that

someone's done something that's greater

than they what they could imagine

themselves doing and they want to take a

step towards trying to be better that

inspiration is gigantic and sometimes it

comes across as corny you know people

read it too much of it online it becomes

it drowns out you lose that the meaning

gets lost I mean there's and there's a

lot of posers because a lot of people

are out there that are there pretending

that they're trying to offer up

inspiration or a true honest account of

their experiences but really what

they're trying to do is say something

that's gonna get likes right you know

they're trying to say things that they

think people are gonna go yeah double

high five right you know there's a thing

that people are doing when they're just

trying to just get social cred I said

yes social media is man I'm gonna paint

you the picture of my fake life right

right right I paint you a picture of my

[ __ ] real life yeah period like it or

not man but that brought that real life

is fuel for people right it's fuel for

me I mean I died I love that [ __ ] I live

off of it there's a lot of people that I

follow online and you're one of them

that I can get something out of that I

could watch a short clip of you talking

I'm sure clips of this podcast people

gonna play these clips and go for

[ __ ] crazy runs afterwards right well

hope so

[ __ ] yeah uh-huh you don't even have to

hope it's gonna happen that's good

that's good what is this business you're

doing well it's my own Goggins LLC

basically I I'm investing in myself I'm

invested in myself and I hope that this

story is can can change somebody's life

not to be me cuz they ain't bout me and

I and I I try to be as real as I can

because we're all [ __ ]

for in this world we're all hurting and

I try to take away all titles you want

to give me that you know that I did not

come from that [ __ ] that's right to be

so authentic and so real about my own

insecurities my own faults my this being

a [ __ ] up person I'm not the best at

anything I'm not I'm not gifted

I'm just driven and it's all about

trying to share that message with people

this is all about you know I speak to a

lot of people and that's what that's

what I do now and how are you doing it

as a business I do something more of a

tional speaking but you know right now

I'm not really try making a lot of

[ __ ] money I'm just trying to build

the brand I was authentic as possible

because I don't want to build it too

fast because my biggest fear in life is

people can rewrite through a

[ __ ] that's not real I do it all

the time

like a lot of people have these great

quotes and they and they mass produce

I can't mass-produce something man Brian

and they and they had these great quotes

and [ __ ] but are you living that

[ __ ]

which you dis quoted in how powerful it

may sound are you getting up every

[ __ ] morning and I'm not working out

whatever are you really getting the [ __ ]

after are you just talking to motivate

people right and I don't want to be that

guy who are you talking to pretend that

you're exactly after and I people make

this big money over here the side which

Robin made a lot and they they talk this

[ __ ] and they're off this until it's

gone right and all Finnick a tall man

you know it's all this [ __ ] right and I

read it on my mask and [ __ ] right

[ __ ] man [ __ ] wake up get after

it live what you're saying and then it

comes people can see when I talk the

reason I talk so [ __ ] just passionate

cuz I'm reliving my [ __ ] life I'm

reliving this morning when I got up I

want to do that [ __ ] I'm reliving

everything I did it and I can't speak to

you like all calm and [ __ ] [ __ ] sucks it

sucks man so whenever I start talking

about like after this podcast you'll see

man

god you're so calm right now what the

[ __ ] is wrong with you I'm not going

back through that [ __ ] man I'm not I'm

not going back through the the suffering

and [ __ ] that it took to become Who I am

today some story so I built this brand

to the point where I can slowly

hopefully make people from motivated to

driven because motivation is crap

[ __ ] people right now maybe listen to

this [ __ ] they'll be motivated to go run

if it's closed somewhere where they're

at a lot of my first we'll shut that

door go back inside that's motivation it

comes and go as how you feel if you and

your wife are good if you and your kids

are good if you're good at work you're

motivated

I like the [ __ ] whose life is

imploded ain't got [ __ ] in life and says

I still got [ __ ] good after today man

it's what it's about so that's when you

move from motivation to driven to

obsessed and I want people to realize

once you get to this portion of over

here the driven obsessed part your

stoppable this commitment that you have

to authenticity is one of the reasons

why people are connected to what you've

met your messages that's one of the

reasons why what you're saying you don't

want to grow it too fast you don't want

it to be [ __ ] you're terrified of

that thing just like we were talking

about with weak people you terrified a

scene that weakness in yourself right

you know we all see that we've all seen

motivational things that are [ __ ]

we've all talked to people that are

talking and you realize there's nothing

really that they're connected to they're

not really connected to their words

their words just a bunch of words

they've pieced together because they

sound like something that someone who's

you know enlightened on the subject

would say right yeah it doesn't it

doesn't it doesn't connect at all so

your struggle now is to try to figure

out how to stay you and get the message

out but still be fully connected to that

message right that's you know it's not

so much a struggle because I'm not

really about I'm not driven by the

business I'm not I'm not doing by trying

to be I I make a very small salary from

being retired from the military that's

all I need so I'm not fast - I'm a

minimalist [ __ ]

give me a backpack of [ __ ] ground and

sleep on and a pull-up bar and a [ __ ]

some running shoes and a Subway sandwich

with some [ __ ] and I'm [ __ ] straight

so it's um I believe in patience I'm a

patient dude I can watch the piece of

grass grow for 20 years because I know

that this is how you get somewhere in

life by being that monk-like mentality

and being able to watch something grow

very calmly patiently and that's all I'm

doing right now about monies and about

people knowing me I'll keep you like me

whoever wants to hear this is out there

so so your your goal is to grow this

right slowly very slowly and your goal

is to grow this in order to impact

people period that's it it's not about

me what do you get out of impacting

people it's a good question I don't I

don't get anything out of it I'm a tool

but you must get something there must be

personal satisfaction must be a

connection to those people there must be

it must be enriching to you it's hard to

connect with people because there's

quite a few now that are coming in right

it's my duty it's my duty to share my

it's kind like it's somebody who

discovered a new earth you know and

discover the people on it that in the

water source and the food source I

discovered a whole nother part of your

[ __ ] brain that a lot of people don't

even know about it's my job by being the

[ __ ] on this journey and being a

discovery person being the person that

maybe I discovered this part I

discovered a very important part that I

haven't met many people that have

discovered this part I'm sure there's a

lot out there but it's my job now take

these weak people in the category that I

was in and say uh-uh

stop reading the [ __ ] stop listening

to the [ __ ] and if my story of

success can impact somebody it is my job

is my duty to share this too as much as

I'm not really fond of it I I'm the kind

of guy that wants to sit in the [ __ ]

room and just be me just be me alone by

myself that's who I am I have to get

uncomfortable and tell people all this

[ __ ] you think it feels good tell me

about it I'm a fourth grade reading

level in high school I stuttered

I lied to people to be their [ __ ]

friends I didn't feel good it doesn't

feel good at all

but maybe someone's doing the same [ __ ]

and maybe they can realize wow that

[ __ ] was a piece of [ __ ] and he

[ __ ] now is a Navy SEAL

tired guy and Rosie's miles and was 297

pounds and pathetic [ __ ] and Wow

if he would say why are you talking so

it's the [ __ ] truth I was a [ __ ]

pathetic [ __ ] man people cannot

say that to themselves it's we have to

choose these great [ __ ] magical words

that that makes that make people feel

good tell yourself the truth if

something - cause you're [ __ ] fat

they may be bullying you but you might

be [ __ ] fat someone calls you dumb

it's me but you might be [ __ ] dumb

its life man take it for what it's worth

and change it and that terrible feeling

when someone does tell you they have fat

you can use that as fuel period and

that's all this is about and where it

goes if it goes somewhere and whatever

you know I don't give a [ __ ]

well you said something that I think of

when I run and it's that most people

quit at 40% I said that's not 40% rule

man I love that about 40% rule man and I

am I really developed that through my

heart surgeries and I developed that

through that first hunch at my run is I

thought I had given 100% the house on

that chair at Mile 70 I was [ __ ] up I

thought I'd given 100% and to go that

last I go man

there had this I wasn't even near 100%

so I came up with this thing called the

40% rule it's basically where you it's

like a car you put a governor on a car

and they said the car can go 130 that

governor stops the car at 91

and you're driving thinking man I want

to [ __ ] Florida but I can't go I

can't go any faster

we do it to a brain we put a governor

brain second we feel pain discomfort

suffering all those words that we hate

to say cuz we in this happy peaceful

world we live in now we stop we slow

down and if you can get through these

different barriers and gain five percent

2% 3% that 40% becomes 60 that's 60 per

kid kind of 70 and 80 and 90 and then

you're hopefully one day near a hundred

I don't I don't know many people who

probably add a hundred I mean we think

we're there but there's so much more it

isn't a hundred at death's door though

I love that I think it's true I think

that's 100% true I think when you were

laying in that tub you'd knocked on a

door that is that is a hundred percent

true no one has ever if that is our

position I didn't give a hundred percent

in that 101 mile run I did for the first

time so that's the scary thing that's

the scariest thing in the world I didn't

die you probably gave 99.99999 man dude

I don't know how to end this any better

than that so let's just wrap this up if

people want to find your stuff

what's the best place to go and look for

it

I'm just at David Goggins man social

media or Instagram Facebook I don't

tweak that much stuff out because I'm I

write these I write messages and I

always link that you know on Twitter to

my Facebook and Instagram but it's just

at David Goggins it was an honor and

privilege thanks like your lunch man I

really really really appreciate it thank

you Dave and Goggins ladies and

gentlemen go after it you [ __ ]

come on

if that doesn't fire me

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
boom buːm A1	noun - a loud, deep, resonant sound
live laɪv A1	adjective - not recorded, happening in real time
appreciate əˈpriːʃieɪt B1	verb - to recognize the full worth of
studio ˈstjuːdiəʊ A2	noun - a room where artists, musicians, or broadcasters work
working ˈwɜːkɪŋ A1	verb - to be engaged in physical or mental effort
mask mɑːsk A2	noun - a covering for the face
crazy ˈkreɪzi A2	adjective - mentally deranged; extremely enthusiastic
impossible ɪmˈpɒsəbl A2	adjective - unable to occur or be done
hardening ˈhɑːdənɪŋ B1	verb - to make or become hard
figuring ˈfɪɡərɪŋ A2	verb - to understand or solve something
sort sɔːrt A1	verb - to arrange or categorize
embody ɪmˈbɒdi B2	verb - to represent or symbolize
idea aɪˈdɪə A1	noun - a thought or suggestion
become bɪˈkʌm A1	verb - to come to be; to change into
online ɒnˈlaɪn A2	adjective - connected to the internet
podcast ˈpɒdkæst B1	noun - a digital audio file made available on the internet
exciting ɪkˈsaɪtɪŋ A2	adjective - causing great enthusiasm or interest
grow ɡroʊ A1	verb - to develop or increase in size
title ˈtaɪtl A1	noun - a name given to something
pull-up ˈpʊlˌʌp A2	noun - an exercise where one lifts their body using a bar