hi this guy says hello I want to kill
00:03
myself are you okay sweetie I just feel
00:07
like someone reached down my throat
00:09
grabbed my small intestine pulled it out
00:11
of my mouth and tied it around my neck
00:13
cookie Carol moved her stuff out today
00:18
let me get you some coffee
00:21
thanks no oh no no don't stop stop
00:27
cleansing my
00:30
aura don't just leave my aura alone
00:32
okay I'll be fine all right really
00:36
everyone I hope she'll be very happy no
00:38
you don't no I don't to hell with her
00:40
she left
00:42
me and you never knew she was a
00:43
lesbian no okay why does everyone keep
00:50
fixating on
00:54
that she didn't know how should I know
00:56
sometimes I wish I was a
01:02
lesbian did I say that out
01:05
loud all right Ross look you're feeling
01:09
a lot of pain right now you're angry
01:13
you're hurting can I tell you what the
01:16
answer is strip
01:18
joints come on you're single have some
01:22
hormones see but I don't want to be
01:25
single okay I just I just I just want to
01:27
be married
01:29
again and I just want a million
01:34
dollars how you doing with the shining
01:37
oh Danny just went into Room 217 ooh the
01:40
next part's the best when that dead lady
01:43
in the bathtub oh come on you're going
01:45
to ruin it all right I'll talk in code
01:48
remember when the kid sees those two
01:51
blanks in the
01:53
hallway yeah that's very
01:55
cool all blank and no blank makes blank
01:57
a blank
02:00
blank oh no no no the end when Jack
02:03
almost kills them all with that blank
02:06
but then in the last second they get
02:08
away Joey I can't believe you just did
02:11
that I can't believe she cracked your
02:14
[Applause]
02:18
code all right okay Lori proposes to Joe
02:21
and she says no even though she's still
02:25
in love with him and then he ends up
02:27
marrying Amy
02:28
hey mine was by
02:32
accident all right the boiler explodes
02:35
and destroys the hotel and kills the
02:38
dad Beth
02:42
[Applause]
02:47
died Beth
02:53
dies is that true if I keep reading is
02:56
Beth going to die
02:59
die no Beth doesn't die she doesn't die
03:00
does she Rachel what Joey's asking if
03:03
you've just ruined the first book he's
03:06
ever loved that didn't start Jack
03:08
Nicholson hey guys hey
03:10
so what do you
03:15
think about what what yeah what are you
03:17
kidding okay I'll give you a hint I'll
03:21
give you a
03:23
hint eyes no no you're eyes no
03:26
Chandler's
03:30
eyes I got
03:32
glasses you always had
03:34
glasses no I
03:39
didn't are you
03:42
sure yeah did didn't you used to have a
03:45
pair they were really round and burgundy
03:47
and they made you look kind of um
03:50
feminine
03:52
yes no sweetie I think the glasses look
03:54
great they make you look really sexy
03:57
really yeah and you didn't think I used
03:59
to wear glasses right of
04:01
course okay okay here's a good one of us
04:04
wow that is a good one wow looks like a
04:08
like a holiday card you know with the
04:11
tree in the middle and the the skaters
04:12
and the snow you know every year I say
04:14
I'm going to send out holiday cards and
04:17
I never do it do you want to do you want
04:18
to send this one out
04:19
together together like to to people yeah
04:25
you know happy holidays for Mona and
04:30
Ross it'll be cute
04:32
okay
04:34
okay oh I got to get to work so call me
04:36
later oh sure sure bye guys
04:38
bye congratulations you just got
04:43
married I no can you believe that wait
04:47
I'm I'm sorry what's the big deal about
04:50
a holiday card married couples send out
04:52
cards families send out cards people
04:55
who've been dating for a couple of
04:57
months do not send out card what what is
04:59
she crazy hey hey hey hey hey that's
05:01
your wife you're talking about what I'm
05:03
going to do about this coat I'll take
05:04
it that might work oh
05:07
yeah all right what do you think you're
05:15
on in five Miss
05:17
Manelli no no no it's it's just a bit
05:21
sudden no it's great okay I am totally
05:24
on board I love you too all right
05:27
bye what's the matter Ross nothing no oh
05:33
uh actually great news um just got off
05:37
the phone with Emily and looks like I'm
05:40
moving to a new
05:42
apartment
05:44
[Music]
05:45
woohoo why well her thought is and I
05:47
agree fresh new
05:51
furniture why not a fresh new apartment
05:53
her cousin has this great place to
05:56
sublet it's got a view of the river on
05:58
one side and Columbia on the other
05:59
that's way up town that's like three
06:01
trains away which is great I love to
06:03
ride that rail all right check out this
06:06
bad boy 12 megabytes of ram 500 megabyte
06:10
hard drive built-in spreadsheet
06:13
capabilities and a modem that transmits
06:15
at over 28,000 BPS wow what are you
06:17
going to use it for games and
06:21
stuff there are no jobs there are no
06:25
jobs for me oh wait here's one uh would
06:28
you be willing to cook
06:32
naked there's an ad for a Naked Chef no
06:34
but if you're willing to cook naked then
06:37
you might be willing to dance
06:39
naked hi hey hey oh so um how'd you make
06:44
out last
06:48
night that that is funny that is
06:51
painfully funny no wait wait yeah that's
06:54
just painful wait a minute I thought
06:57
last night was was great yeah it was but
07:01
I get home okay and I see Julie sailing
07:04
Solution on my night table and I'm
07:07
thinking to myself oh my God what the
07:08
hell am I doing I mean here I am I'm
07:10
with Julie this incredible great woman
07:12
who I care about and and who cares about
07:14
me and I'm like what am I just going to
07:16
throw all that away you got all that
07:18
from saline
07:20
solution wait minut we're talking about
07:22
Rachel here you and Rachel believe me
07:24
I've been dreaming about me and Rachel
07:26
for like 10 years years now but now I'm
07:28
with Julie you know so it's like me and
07:31
Julie me and Rachel me and Julie me and
07:33
ra Rachel
07:36
Rachel hey you how are you good how are
07:39
you good good hi Honey hi Julie hi
07:43
Julie
07:48
Julie um how are you good good so
07:50
everybody's
07:54
here everybody's
07:56
good
07:58
so were you going to play something
08:02
Phoebe well actually had
08:03
to all right hey Julie I didn't know you
08:07
wore lenses
08:11
what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this
08:14
is a song um about a love triangle
08:21
between three people that I made
08:25
up
08:28
um it's called um two of them kissed
08:30
last
08:32
night there was a girl we'll call her
08:36
Betty and a guy let's call him
08:40
Neil now I can't stress this point too
08:44
strongly this story isn't
08:48
real now o Neal must decide who will be
08:53
the girl that he casts aside well will
08:57
Betty be the one who he loves truly or
08:59
will it be the one who will call
09:02
[Music]
09:05
LLY he must decide he must decide even
09:07
though I made him up he must decide cake
09:11
is
09:14
amazing my god get a
09:15
room I would get a room with this cake I
09:19
think I could show this cake a good
09:21
time if you had to what would you give
09:24
up food or sex sex
09:27
seriously answer
09:32
faster oh I'm sorry honey know when she
09:33
said sex I wasn't thinking about sex
09:36
with
09:38
you it's like a giant
09:41
hug Ross how about you which would you
09:44
give up sex or food food okay how about
09:47
um sex or
09:50
dinosaurs oh my God it's like Sophie's
09:55
Choice
09:58
oh God what about you Joe what would you
10:01
give up sex or food uh
10:03
uh I don't know it's too hard no you got
10:08
to pick
10:11
one uh food no sex food sex food SE I
10:13
don't know oh God I want both I want I
10:19
want girls on
10:21
[Music]
10:24
bread hey who's this little naked guy
10:26
uh that little naked guy would be
10:30
me look at the little thing
10:32
yes yeah it's fine that is my
10:37
penis can we be grown-ups
10:40
now who are those people got me oh
10:43
that's Nana right there in the middle
10:47
wow yeah let's see me and the Gang at
10:49
Java
10:53
Joe's wow Monica you look just like your
10:53
grandmother how old was she there
10:56
1939 yeah uh 24 25 huh it's like a fun
10:59
gang o look look look look look I got
11:11
Monica
11:13
naked no no that would be me
11:17
again I'm uh just trying something t
11:25
fatty hey Chandler why so fancy well I
11:31
got a job interview it's kind of a big
11:34
deal too it's a lot more money and I'd
11:36
be doing data reconfiguration and
11:37
statistical factoring wait I think I
11:39
know someone who does that me I do
11:41
that so seriously do I do I look okay
11:44
I'm a little nervous oh yeah you really
11:47
you look great you know just don't get
11:49
your hes
11:51
up why not well the interview what about
11:53
it you know you don't make a a very good
11:57
first
11:59
impression what oh you don't
12:01
know are you serious yes I when I first
12:05
met you you were like blah I was
12:08
like what is it that I do well it's just
12:15
like you're trying too hard always
12:18
making jokes you know you just you come
12:20
off a little
12:22
needy did you like me when we first met
12:24
Chandler I'm not going to lie
12:28
but I am going to run away from you oh
12:30
this is so good you have got to try
12:32
it oh damn I got it on my pants here
12:45
I'll get
12:48
it we better take off upstairs where
12:57
that stain's going to set yep I want to
13:00
wear these pants on our dat tonight oh
13:01
great okay bye oh my
13:04
God that was unbelievable okay see I
13:08
told you yeah wow sorry r i don't
13:11
believe the brother and sister they're
13:13
brother and sister you guys think our
13:15
readers ought to know uh no just just
13:17
that he is a great guy yeah that's going
13:19
to get you into soap parti just well I I
13:22
would just like to say that Joey truly
13:26
has enriched the Days of Our
13:29
Lives um I I just think that you don't
13:33
expect someone so hot to be so sweet oh
13:35
I like that oh what's your name um
13:39
Phoebe buet how do you spell that so we
13:42
can get it right oh okay it's um p as in
13:44
Phoebe H as in heebe O as in OB e as in
13:47
eie b as in BB and e as an lell there
13:50
mate what is that oh um I'm just getting
13:54
rid of a couple of things this is all of
13:59
your
14:02
things yes yes it
14:04
is no but it's good so Emily thinks we
14:06
should get all new stuff stuff that's
14:08
just ours together you know brand new so
14:11
basically this is a getting rid of
14:14
anything Rachel ever touch sale touched
14:15
used sat on slept on I'll take it
14:18
all hey cross you're okay with that look
14:22
if I can just do what Emily wants and
14:25
get her to New York I'm sure everything
14:27
will be fine okay but don't you think
14:29
this a little extreme after what I did
14:31
can you blame her oh my God you got off
14:34
easy when my friend sylv's husband said
14:36
someone else's name in bed she cursed
14:38
him and turned his thingy
14:40
green hi guys hey b hey oh oh how' It Go
14:44
um not so good he walked me to the
14:48
subway and said we should do this again
14:50
oh what you said we should do it again
14:52
that's good right uh no Loosely
14:55
translated we should do this again means
14:57
you will never see me
15:00
naked since when since always it's like
15:02
dating language you know like it's not
15:07
you means it is you or you're such a
15:09
nice guy means I'm going to be dating
15:13
leather wearing alcoholics and
15:15
complaining about them to
15:16
you or or you know um I think we should
15:18
see other people means I already
15:21
am and everybody knows this oh yeah
15:24
cushions the blow yeah it's like when
15:28
you're a kid and your parents put your
15:29
dog to sleep and they tell you it went
15:31
off to live on some Farm that's funny
15:32
that no because uh our parents actually
15:35
did uh send our dog off to live on a
15:37
farm uh
15:40
Ross what hello The Milner Farm in
15:44
Connecticut The Milner they had this
15:47
unbelievable farm that they horses and
15:49
then rabbits that he could Chase and it
15:51
would oh my God cheat
15:56
Monica hey can I go on the
16:04
Porsche okay all right but uh what is it
16:06
not a place to entertain my lady
16:11
friends and what else is it not place to
16:15
eat
16:18
spaghetti very good thanks what do you
16:20
need it for anyway oh the uh Powerball
16:22
lottery is up to 300 million and they
16:24
don't sell tickets here in New York so
16:26
oh so you're driving up to
16:28
Connecticut yeah Connecticut not West
16:30
Virginia hey maybe I'll drive you up
16:34
there I'd like to buy some tickets
16:37
myself yeah with Chandler not getting
16:38
paid we could really use $300
16:40
million yes because if I was at my old
16:42
job we'd say 300 million no thank
16:45
you hey will you get me tickets too yeah
16:49
me too sure oh I have an idea why don't
16:52
we all pitch in 50 bucks we'll pull our
16:54
money together and then if we win we'll
16:57
split it
16:59
a no
17:01
thanks you don't want to win the lottery
17:04
uh sure I do I also want to be king of
17:06
my own country and find out what
17:08
happened to ailia
17:10
airheart still on ailia aart the woman
17:12
just
17:15
vanished seriously Ross you don't want
17:17
in on this no do do you know what your
17:19
odds are of winning the lottery I mean
17:21
you have a better chance of being struck
17:23
by lightning 42 times yes but there's
17:25
six of us so we'd only have to get
17:27
struck by lightting seven times I like
17:28
those
17:30
odds seriously you guys I can't believe
17:32
you're going to spend
17:34
$250 on the lottery I mean it's such a
17:35
bunch of booh
17:38
hockey I'll
17:43
ask Bo
17:45
hockey oh oh we think Emma is about to
17:48
start talking so we're trying to be
17:50
careful about what words we use in front
17:52
of them yeah so get ready to hear a lot
17:54
of uh booh hockey gosh darn it and
17:56
brother
17:58
pucker how do you know she's going to
18:01
start talking well when I talk to her I
18:03
almost feel like she understands what
18:05
I'm saying kind of like
18:06
Joey what's that now oh where is he
18:10
where's Richard did you ditch him yeah
18:12
right after we stole his lunch money and
18:15
gave him a
18:16
wedgie what's the matter with you he's
18:18
parking the car how did you guys have
18:20
fun your boyfriend is so cool really
18:23
yeah he let us drive his Jaguar Joey for
18:26
12 blocks me for 15
18:28
wow he must like you the best oh and
18:31
what about that thing he did when he
18:35
tipped the guy who showed us to our
18:36
seats he never even saw the money it was
18:37
like this hey chanler thanks for showing
18:39
us to our
18:41
seats you're welcome hey joeey thanks
18:42
for parking the car no
18:45
problem hey janler I think they get it
18:49
okay there's the man
18:54
hey hey you're getting better I'm going
18:57
to keep this by the
19:01
way he kept my dollar yeah this is
19:03
Patrick oh hi hi yeah this is the guy I
19:07
was telling you about yeah yeah and
19:10
believe me this suit does not do justice
19:12
to what's underneath
19:14
it okay but be I kind I'm just sort of
19:16
in the middle of something oh okay yeah
19:20
that's okay have a
19:23
seat you can't do that maybe I should go
19:25
they just sit down we're
19:28
winning okay you know what maybe I
19:31
should go have a seat you have a seat
19:32
Rachel Rachel you haven't touched ot's
19:35
hair it's the softest hair touch it I'm
19:37
good Rachel Patrick is really rich give
19:41
her some
19:44
money you know what Phoebe this isn't
19:47
really worth the free massage that's
19:49
right Patrick bye-bye no El is much more
19:50
cooperative and he can dance you dance
19:54
her
19:56
Rachel no don't answer for me please
19:57
don't what's the matter with you guys
19:59
yeah okay let's talk it out
20:03
I am I the only one that this is
20:05
embarrassing for I'm a little
20:07
embarrassed I'll tell you who should be
20:11
embarrassed it's you guys come on this
20:13
is ridiculous thank you very much but I
20:15
do not need you to give me a date then
20:18
why did she ask us to I am still talking
20:19
and then you chase away the one guy that
20:22
I actually liked I mean no offense to
20:24
you guys really I mean congratulations
20:26
on all the
20:28
cash and and you know you really well
20:30
you do have very soft hair but I would
20:33
much rather go to the ball all by myself
20:36
then go through any more of this
20:38
goodbye now do you use some sort of
20:43
special conditioner on that
20:45
hair yes papaya extract thank you hi you
20:47
guys hi hey what's the matter well it's
20:50
just it's one of these situations that I
20:53
just hate you know a massage client gave
20:55
me three ticket tickets to the helmet
20:57
pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase Museum
20:59
now you're thinking you got to sleep
21:02
with
21:03
them no no it's just that he gave me
21:04
three tickets and there are six of us
21:07
I'll give up my ticket me
21:09
too okay that's so generous and I think
21:12
Ross is generous
21:15
too great okay then it's just us girls
21:17
yeah so what what is the exhibit it's
21:21
mostly just photographs of um lesbian
21:25
love scenes interspersed with video
21:28
games and free
21:30
sandwiches oh
21:35
man hey hi there he hey Ross listen
21:40
Chandler got you out of going to the
21:44
lesbian Sandwich Museum this
21:45
weekend hey how'd the interview go it's
21:48
not good you know I always feel that way
21:51
after an interview I'll bet it went
21:54
better than you think well I didn't get
21:55
the job at Gucci and I got fired from
21:58
Ralph Lauren that is a bad
22:00
interview what are you what are you
22:04
talking about how' this happened well my
22:06
boss was at the same restaurant where I
22:08
was having my interview and he heard
22:10
everything so later he calls me to his
22:12
office and he tells me that he's going
22:14
to have to let me go because I'm not a
22:15
team player and I say wait a minute no
22:17
yes I am and then I had to sit there for
22:20
45 minutes while he proved that that in
22:22
fact was true
22:26
oh God I'm so
22:29
sorry hey what what's
22:32
this it's it's a bottle of champagne why
22:37
is this here Ross I guess it's here
22:40
because I got tenure congratul
22:43
congratulations this is the single
22:46
greatest day of my professional career
22:48
Gunther six glasses six you want me to
22:51
join you oh I thought Joey was here five
22:53
is
22:56
good
22:57
I'm going to have a lugie in my coffee
23:00
tomorrow ooh Israeli
23:03
champagne and it's
23:06
vanilla I got tenure I didn't win the
23:09
lottery hey Rich so uh how did your
23:12
thing go oh it's good yeah but I'm not
23:15
going to hear about that for a couple of
23:17
days oh you know what you're going to
23:19
get it I I I I can feel it can
23:20
you everybody here's to Ross and and to
23:24
years of hard work finally paying off
23:28
and to knowing that your career doesn't
23:32
mean everything but also knowing it
23:35
means a
23:37
lot but more importantly to full
23:40
well-rounded life that center around
23:42
work to
23:44
ro you know what the best part about
23:50
this is I can never be fired go no
23:53
seriously I have job security for life
23:56
you know I mean I never have to worry oh
23:59
oh look at you look how happy you are
24:02
for
24:04
me no it's not that I got fired today
24:07
and I didn't get the other
24:11
job ra I'm so sorry
24:16
oh great I feel like an idiot no it's
24:19
okay you didn't know
24:22
oh little heads up would have been nice
24:25
to the store sat on Santa's lap asked
24:27
him to bring my friends all kinds of
24:30
crap said all you need is to write them
24:33
a song they haven't heard it yet so
24:37
don't try to sing
24:40
along no don't sing
24:42
along
24:45
Monica
24:46
Monica have a happy
24:48
[Music]
24:51
Hanukkah saw Santa Claus he said hello
24:52
to
24:58
Ross and please tell Joey Christmas will
25:00
be
25:05
snowing and Rael and
25:08
Chandler
25:11
[Music]
25:13
how happy holidays
25:16
everybody would you let it go it's not
25:18
that big a deal not that big a deal it's
25:21
amazing okay you just reach in there
25:23
there's one little maneuver and Bam a
25:25
bra right out the sleeve all right as
25:27
far as I'm concerned there is nothing a
25:30
guy can do that even comes close am I
25:32
right here oh come on you guys can pee
25:34
standing up we can okay I'm trying
25:37
that all right you know what blows my
25:40
mind women can see breasts anytime they
25:43
want you just look down and there they
25:48
are how you get any work done is beyond
25:50
me okay you know what I don't get the
25:55
way guys can do so many mean things and
25:57
then not even
25:59
care multiple orgasms there you
26:06
go Janice you called
26:11
Janice yes Janice why is that so
26:15
difficult for you to comprehend you
26:18
remember Janice
26:20
right yes she was smart she was pretty
26:22
and she honestly cared about me jice is
26:26
my last chance to have
26:29
somebody
26:31
hello oh my
26:36
God jeez look how fat she
26:41
got hey it's
26:44
[Music]
26:47
everybody Janice you're yes I
26:48
am is it is it yours ha You Wish
26:52
Chandler Bing
26:56
you are looking at a married lady
26:58
now
27:02
oh
27:06
congratulations oh sweetie I'm sorry you
27:08
couldn't have told me about this over
27:12
the phone and what miss the expression
27:13
on your face oh no Janice likes to have
27:15
her
27:18
fun check it out check this out it says
27:20
here there's a place you can go to rent
27:22
videos of all the museums it's almost as
27:23
good as being there
27:27
it's better you can't go to a museum and
27:29
you're
27:31
underwear well you could but probably
27:32
just the one
27:35
time I bet we could get videos of all
27:37
the sites get a VCR in a hotel room we'd
27:39
never even have to go
27:42
outside if we do that we've got to rent
27:44
die
27:46
hard I bet the British version is
27:48
good hey hey oh the how is Vermont Emily
27:51
is incredible I mean there there are no
27:57
words to describe her the whole weekend
28:00
was was like a
28:03
dream oh and you ra hey hey you were so
28:05
right what uh what you said about us
28:10
finally being in a place where we could
28:14
really be happy for each other I mean I
28:16
I I admit I I wasn't quite there you
28:20
know I mean the thought of you and that
28:24
that Josh guy Joshua Joshua
28:26
guy at that club dancing having a good
28:29
time and the thought of it kind
28:33
of you know yeah but now but now I'm
28:35
totally there I'm I'm finally where you
28:40
are oh thank
28:43
goodness and thank you for Emily oh no
28:46
problem I'm so glad I could help you
28:50
know happy for you happy for you oh no
28:52
happy for
28:57
decided to have a Halloween
28:58
party and everybody has to wear
29:00
costumes come on it'll be fun well uh
29:05
I'll be there I mean I have to wear a
29:08
costume to all my classes that day
29:10
anyway so please tell me you're not
29:12
going to dress up like a
29:13
dinosaur not two years in a
29:16
row I I'll come to the party but I'm not
29:20
dressing up you have to no way look
29:22
Halloween is so stupid dressing up and
29:25
pretending to be someone you're
29:27
not you're an
29:29
actor so Ross are you going to bring
29:32
Mona yeah yeah I think I will the hot
29:34
girl from their wedding yeah well hey if
29:37
she needs any ideas for costumes she
29:40
could be a uh bikini model or
29:42
nurse or sexy cheerleader or o
29:45
Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre
29:48
no no no leather
29:50
face now wasn't Joey hitting on her at
29:54
the wedding too
29:56
that's right he was hitting on her and I
29:58
got her I guess the better man
30:02
won please don't take her from me hey
30:06
don't
30:09
do it's worse than the
30:10
song Hey this is so unfair oh why is it
30:13
so I have a flaw big deal like Joey's
30:18
constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying
30:22
and Ross with his over pronouncing every
30:24
single word and Monica with that snort
30:25
when she laughs I mean what the hell is
30:28
that
30:29
thing I accept all those flaws why can't
30:32
you accept me for
30:34
this does a knuckle cracking bother
30:42
everybody
30:48
well I I could live without
30:49
it was it like a little Annoying or is
30:54
it like when Phoebe chews her
30:57
head oh now don't listen to him phes all
31:01
right I think it's endearing oh you do
31:04
do
31:07
you you know there's nothing wrong with
31:13
speaking correctly indeed there
31:16
[Music]
31:19
isn't I should really get back to work
31:21
yeah otherwise someone might get what
31:25
they actually ordered well
31:26
oh oh the hair comes out and the gloves
31:28
come
31:32
off this gu right
31:34
here listen now you want anything to
31:39
drink cuz I'm heading up there uh yeah
31:40
I'll take a coffee thanks man sure
31:43
coffee no coffee cuz I'm going up there
31:45
oh no thank
31:48
you do you guys need anything cuz I'm
31:50
heading up there I'd love a Ice Water
31:52
you got
31:55
it
31:56
Joey what are you doing just being
31:58
friendly Joey I I don't think you're
32:02
supposed to go back there no no it's
32:05
okay right
32:06
Gunther don't wink at
32:08
me put on your
32:11
apron okay don't see you asking any
32:15
other paying customers to put on
32:18
aprons Joey do you work here no waiter
32:21
yeah
32:26
[Music]
32:30
Joey what's going on why didn't you tell
32:34
us you work
32:35
here it's kind of embarrassing you know
32:39
I mean I was an actor now I'm a waiter
32:41
supposed to go in the other
32:44
direction shows your apron you're
32:46
wearing it like a
32:48
cape I mean the job's easy and the
32:51
money's good you know and I guess I'm
32:53
going to be hanging out here anyway I
32:55
might as well get paid for it right just
32:57
feel kind of weird serving you guys you
33:00
know Joey come on I did it and it was
33:02
fine yeah why would it be weird hey Joey
33:05
uh can I get some
33:09
coffee okay I guess it doesn't seem that
33:12
weird seriously I I asked you before you
33:14
still haven't gotten
33:16
it see now it's weird
33:18
again I think it's great that you work
33:21
here you're going to make a lot of money
33:23
and here's your first
33:24
tip don't yell
33:26
snow 215 Coffee House fees guess who we
33:30
saw today oh oh fun okay um Liam n no
33:35
Marley safer no the woman who cuts my
33:39
hair okay look this could be a really
33:42
long game your sister Ursula oh really
33:44
yeah yeah she works over at that place
33:48
uh riffs yeah I know oh you do because
33:50
she said you guys haven't talked in like
33:53
years mhm
33:54
yeah
33:56
so um is she
33:59
fat not from where I was
34:02
standing where were you
34:05
standing um PHS so you you guys just
34:09
don't get along it's mostly just dumb
34:12
sister stuff you know I mean like
34:15
everyone always thought of her as the
34:17
pretty one you know
34:18
and oh oh she was the first one to start
34:20
walking even though I did it later that
34:23
same day
34:26
but to my parents by then it was like
34:28
yeah right well what else is
34:30
new that's right still no
34:31
baby come on people please let make some
34:35
room uh Sweetie maybe you'd be more
34:37
comfortable
34:40
here
34:43
you like you haven't done
34:47
enough but I I know how miserable you
34:51
are I wish there was something I can do
34:54
I I I wish I were a
34:56
seahorse because with seahorses the it's
35:01
the male they they carry the
35:04
babies and then also um I'd be far away
35:08
in the
35:12
sea oh I have never been so
35:26
uncomfortable in my entire life oh I
35:30
know I've been there I remember toward
35:33
the end oh bab that's a great story
35:35
could you tell it to me while you're
35:37
getting me some iced
35:38
tea oh God get out get out get out get
35:43
out
35:49
let's so uh was he excited about the
35:51
tickets no he blew us off what I know
35:53
can't believe
35:58
it can I tell you
35:59
something I'm a little mad at him
36:02
now I tell you
36:05
something me
36:09
too you know what he didn't want to talk
36:13
to us about being angry or maybe we
36:15
don't talk to him at all
36:17
ooh freeze him out that's right I like
36:21
it yeah we'll show him from now on it's
36:24
going to be Joey and Ross best
36:26
friends we're going to be the new Joey
36:29
and
36:31
Chandler oh my God no shoot Kitty no no
36:33
no no shoot come on you come on
36:38
crazy oh my God what nothing nothing
36:42
what what's
36:48
wrong I
36:49
just I just have this really strong
36:52
feeling that this cat is my mother
36:54
you mean the mom you met in mon talk she
36:58
was a
37:00
cat no no no she was a human Lady this
37:02
is the spirit of my mom Lily the one
37:05
that killed herself are you sure she's
37:08
in the cat or have you been taking your
37:10
grandma's glaucoma medicine again no Dr
37:11
skeptism
37:15
Mo I'm sure first of all okay there's
37:17
the
37:20
feeling okay and for another how about
37:22
the fact that she went into my guitar
37:24
case which is mind with orange
37:26
felt my mother's favorite fish was
37:31
orange
37:33
ruffy cats like
37:38
fish hi
37:44
Mommy oh I haven't seen this smile in 17
37:47
years dude Phoebe's mom's got a huge P
37:53
Let It Go hey hey check it out guess
37:56
what I got
37:59
rhythm no my first fan mail check it
38:01
out Dear Dr rore know that I love you
38:05
and would do anything to have you gosh
38:09
you're not so secret admirer Erica
38:12
Ford oh wait PS and close please find 14
38:15
of my
38:20
eyelashes you know in crazy world that
38:22
means you're married
38:25
this wasn't address to Days of Our Lives
38:29
this is this came to your apartment
38:31
there's no stamp on it this woman was in
38:33
our building oh my
38:34
God I got my very own stalker you mean
38:36
whenever Monica and Chandler were like
38:40
you know doing laundry or going grocery
38:42
shopping or all that time Monica spent
38:45
on the phone with sad Linda from Camp
38:48
uhhuh doing it doing it phone doing
38:49
it I can't believe it I mean I think
38:52
it's great for him
38:55
she might be able to do
38:58
better hey guys Joey come here come here
39:00
what what bab just found out about
39:03
Monica and Chandler you mean how they're
39:05
friends and nothing
39:07
more no no Joey she knows we were at
39:09
ugly naked guys apartment and we saw
39:13
them doing it through the window
39:15
actually we saw them doing it up against
39:17
the
39:19
window okay so now they know you know
39:21
and they don't know that Rachel
39:23
knows yes but you know it doesn't matter
39:25
who knows what now enough of us know
39:28
that we could just tell them we know now
39:30
all The Lion and the secrets will
39:32
finally be over or we could not tell
39:34
them we know and have a little fun of
39:37
our
39:38
own what what do you mean well you know
39:40
every time that they say they're like
39:43
doing laundry well just give them a
39:44
bunch of laundry to
39:45
do oh I I would enjoy that oh no no no
39:47
no wait wait do you know what would be
39:51
even more fun telling
39:52
them yeah no I want to do pho's thing I
39:54
can't take any you don't have to do
39:57
anything just don't tell them that we
39:59
know no I I can't take any more secrets
40:01
I get your secrets I got their secrets I
40:04
got secrets of my own you
40:06
know you don't have any secrets oh yeah
40:08
well you don't know about hugsy my
40:12
bedtime penguin
40:13
pal so
40:19
um how how are we going to mess with
40:21
them well you could use your position
40:24
you know as as the roommate and then I
40:26
would use you know the strongest tool at
40:28
my disposal my
40:30
sexuality hello children hey hey hey
40:33
watch learn and don't eat my
40:37
cookie hey hey o wow that jacket looks
40:42
great on you really yeah the material
40:46
Looks So Soft oh hello Mr
40:49
bicep you've been working out well I try
40:54
to you know squeeze
40:56
[Laughter]
40:58
things you okay well if you really want
41:03
to know I oh I can't tell you
41:07
this maybe it's me you can tell me
41:10
anything well actually you're the one
41:12
person I can't tell this to and the one
41:14
person I want to the
41:17
most what's going
41:21
on I think it's just you know that I
41:23
haven't been with a guy in so long and
41:25
you know how sometimes you're looking
41:27
for something and you just don't even
41:29
see that it's right there in front of
41:30
you sipping
41:32
coffee oh no have I said too much hey
41:33
I'm all packed and ready to go well
41:37
that's right daddy and Uncle Joey are
41:40
going on a trip today we're going to a
41:42
conference in Barbados right can you say
41:44
Barbados
41:47
Barbados got to say uh it means so much
41:53
to me that you guys are coming all the
41:55
way over there to to hear me give my
41:57
speech o and I have a surprise uh I had
41:59
to pull some strings but I was able to
42:01
get everyone passes to the entire
42:03
conference that's
42:06
right these babies will get you into all
42:08
the paleontology lectures and
42:11
seminars do you have anything that will
42:14
get us out of
42:17
them yeah Ross I mean we're excited to
42:18
hear the speech but the rest of the time
42:21
we're going to want to do you know
42:22
Island stuff well I think David will
42:23
probably want to hear a few lectures oh
42:25
right because he's a scientist no no
42:27
well because you know he's been in Minsk
42:29
for 8 years and if he gets too much
42:30
direct sunlight he'll
42:32
die okay we better go yeah um so we'll
42:34
see you guys tomorrow all right let's do
42:38
it 5H hour flight with Charlie have a
42:40
couple drinks get under that blanket and
42:42
do what comes natural it's a blanket Joe
42:44
not a cloak of invisibility hey hey how
42:47
was the first day excellent everyone was
42:49
so so nice see it pays to know the man
42:52
who wears my shoes
42:56
me no I didn't tell anybody that I knew
43:00
you why not well because you
43:02
know they don't like
43:05
you what I thought you knew that
43:11
nuh-uh who doesn't like me
43:16
everyone except for um no
43:19
everyone what what are you talking about
43:25
don't feel bad you know they used to
43:28
like you a lot but then you got promoted
43:30
and you know now you're all like Mr Boss
43:33
Man you know Mr Bing Mr Bing boss man
43:35
Bing I can't believe it yeah yeah they
43:41
even do
43:44
you they do
43:46
me you know like um okay um could that
43:48
report be any
43:51
later
43:56
I don't sound like that oh oh yeah you
43:59
do the hills are alive with the
44:03
sound of
44:06
music my scone my
44:14
scone okay I don't sound like that that
44:19
is so not
44:21
true that is so not that is so that oh
44:24
shut up hey hey wow don't you look nice
44:28
yes I
44:33
do today's uh Mike and my Oney year
44:35
anniversary oh what's it the anniversary
44:38
of your first uh date your first kiss
44:40
first time you had sex
44:43
yeah so you must be going somewhere
44:47
fancy to celebrate uhhuh um a Nick's
44:49
game uh aren't you a little overdressed
44:52
hey you know what I've never had a won
44:55
your anniversary before so no matter
44:57
where we go I'm wearing something Fancy
44:58
Pants and I'm going to put on my finest
45:00
jewelry and we're going to have sex in a
45:02
public
45:04
restroom you guys do that Chandler won't
45:06
even have sex in our
45:08
bathroom that's where people make number
45:11
two hey hey
45:13
hey and this from the cry for Health
45:17
Department are you wearing
45:19
makeup yes I am as of today I am
45:23
officially joing Jo tribiani actor/model
45:26
thank you that's so funny cuz I was
45:28
thinking you look more like Joey triani
45:31
man/woman
45:33
what were you modeling for well you know
45:36
those posters for the city free clinic
45:39
oh wow so you're going to be one of
45:41
those healthy healthy healthy guys you
45:42
know the asthma guy really
45:44
cute you know which one you're going to
45:47
be no but I hear lime disease is open so
45:48
you
45:51
know good luck man I hope you get it
45:52
thanks
45:56
well you were right how can they do this
46:00
to us huh it's
46:02
Thanksgiving okay I tell you what how
46:04
about if I cook dinner at my place I'll
46:06
make it just like Mom's will you make
46:07
the mashed potatoes with the
46:10
lumps you know they're not actually
46:12
supposed to I'll work on the
46:14
lumps Joey you're going home right yeah
46:17
and I assume Chandler you're still
46:21
boycotting all the pilgrim
46:22
holidays yes every single one of
46:25
them and B you're going to be with your
46:28
grandma Yeah and and her boyfriend but
46:30
we're celebrating Thanksgiving in
46:32
December cuz he's
46:33
luner you guys guess what Barry and
46:35
Mindy are getting a divorce oh my God
46:38
what is the matter with
46:41
you no Barry and Mindy oh sorry I hear
46:45
divorce I immediately go to
46:49
Ross who who's Barry and Mindy Barry was
46:52
the guy that I almost married and mind
46:55
was my best friend oh oh wasn't he
46:56
cheating on you with her yeah but that
46:58
just means that he was falling asleep on
47:00
top of her instead of
47:02
me c can you imagine if I'd actually
47:03
married him I mean how different would
47:06
my life be I know what you mean I've
47:08
always wondered how different my life
47:10
would be if if I'd never gotten divorced
47:11
which time the first
47:14
time well seriously imagine if Carol
47:16
hadn't realized she was a
47:18
lesbian I can't I keep seeing it the
47:21
good
47:24
way
47:25
I bet I'd still be doing my
47:27
karate towards the end of our marriage I
47:30
was doing a lot of karate as a way of
47:32
releasing the tension from you know not
47:35
doing anything else physical maybe the
47:37
problem was you were pronouncing It
47:39
[Music]
47:44
karate
47:52
Lyrics & Translation
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We're updating this section. Stay tuned!
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
kill /kɪl/ A1 |
|
|
throat /θroʊt/ A1 |
|
|
intestine /ɪnˈtɛstɪn/ B1 |
|
|
mouth /maʊθ/ A1 |
|
|
neck /nɛk/ A1 |
|
|
coffee /ˈkɔfi/ A1 |
|
|
cleansing /ˈklɛnzɪŋ/ A2 |
|
|
aura /ˈɔrə/ B1 |
|
|
happy /ˈhæpi/ A1 |
|
|
lesbian /ˈlɛzbiən/ A2 |
|
|
fixating /ˈfɪkseɪtɪŋ/ B1 |
|
|
strip /strɪp/ A2 |
|
|
joints /dʒɔɪnts/ A2 |
|
|
hormones /ˈhɔrmənz/ B1 |
|
|
married /ˈmærid/ A1 |
|
|
dollars /ˈdɑlərz/ A1 |
|
|
shining /ˈʃaɪnɪŋ/ A2 |
|
|
bathtub /ˈbæθˌtʌb/ A2 |
|
|
code /koʊd/ A2 |
|
|
proposes /prəˈpoʊz/ A2 |
|
What does “kill” mean in the song ""?
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Key Grammar Structures
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