– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

i have left dunder mifflin after many

record-breaking years and i am

officially

on the job market and it's very exciting

for your convenience i've broken it down

into three parts

professional resume athletic and special

skills resume and

dwight troop trivia i am ready to face

any challenges that might be foolish

enough to face me

how would i describe myself three words

hard-working

alpha male jackhammer

merciless insatiable there's nothing on

my horizon except everything

everything is on my horizon i got this

job to make some money while i continue

my employment search

and uh it's fine for the time being

oops break's over

big turkey

[Applause]

[Music]

all four parts recorded on my computer

it took me forever nice job thank you

much lee

[Music]

i called it myself just let you get a

kick out of the new ring

yikes side note just like to say i'm

thrilled to be working directly beneath

you

i feel i have a lot to learn from you

even though you're younger and have

less experience so

here's to the future andy and the tudor

any and the tuna

oh

mr white

congratulations universe you win

hello son if you're watching this that

means i'm already dead

life is over i don't know it's going to

be a boy how would you stop interrupting

please

yesterday i was scraping some gunk off

my wall sockets with a metal fork

and i gave myself the nastiest shock

and when i came to i had an epiphany

life is precious and if i die

i want my son

to know the dealio dealio of life

here are some things that i want to

teach you that your mother won't be able

to

to jump start a car first pop the hood

then you take these bad boys and clip

them

anywhere on the engine then you take

these

and clip them wherever

number eight learn how to take off a

woman's bra what we will demonstrate on

pam no

and no come on you just twist your hand

until something breaks

oh well you get the picture thanks pam

and remember no matter what i will

always love you what if he's a murderer

he's not going to be a murderer maybe

that's how you die you know what

dwight do you want to do this or no i

want to do with this

okay from the top ready

three action ah

damn that's another file i'm gonna have

to reboot

again

[Music]

hey dwight do you want an altoid what do

you think

in school we learned about this

scientist who trained dogs to salivate

at the sound of a bell

by feeding them whenever a bell rang so

for the past couple weeks i've been

conducting a

similar experiment

dwight moreno okay

halton sure

been twice

[Music]

what are you doing i

what i don't know i well

my mouth tastes so bad all of a sudden

oh hey kevin nice of you to join us

where were you

my tire blew out on the way here michael

huh i almost

died i went into this skid pop quiz

what why is today a special day i almost

died today is a special day

because i am being honored as

a visiting professor

special lecturer emeritus how did you

how did how do

you will be a guest speaker in my

emerging enterprises class

in business school kevin

business school wow if you bring your

boss to class it automatically

bumps you up a full letter grade so

i'd be stupid not to do it right a boss

is like a teacher and i am like the cool

teacher

like mr handel mr handel would

hang out with us and he would tell us

awesome jokes

and he actually hooked up with one of

the students

and then like 12 other kids came forward

it was in all the papers

really ruined eighth grade for us

can you confirm that the straps are

tight

yes but this and now

the chains

a lot of people think that magic camp is

just for kids and that's why so many

other people in my class were kids

self-fulfilling prophecy it's um

really for anybody with a dream

and a belief in magic and a little extra

time after school

and now michael the magic will attempt

to escape

from extreme bondage can he do it

i don't see how he can i know how he'll

dislocate his shoulder and slip his arm

out no

no everyone now count down with me

three sorry quick thing so is it true

that if you can't get out you don't want

anyone to help you

i will get out oh yes i will

so we shouldn't help you no matter how

much you might beg and please no all

right

just this is getting hot so let's just

do this okay ready three

two one go

[Applause]

is everything okay michael

yes i cannot tell you

how i plan to escape other than by using

magic that is the magician's code

separately on an unrelated note if you

happen to find a small

brass key

so do you want to see it or not i don't

know i like

friday night crowds oh my god you're

like agoraphobic

agoraphobic yeah really yeah you would

rather

sit on your couch and watch a philly's

game then go out to a movie with your

awesome girlfriend

absolutely correct later gem kev have a

good weekend yeah

okay bye okay so this is what's gonna

happen you're gonna suck it up here we

go

and we're gonna go to dinner okay and

then we're gonna go to the movies

hey helper

hey

right right

pam please call security

every day for eight years i have brought

pepper spray into this office to protect

myself and my fellow employees

and every day for eight years people

have laughed at me

well who's laughing now

good morning pam oh welcome back andy

drew i'm drew now oh

drew sorry apology not

accepted because it wasn't even

necessary in the first place

several weeks ago andy bernard had an

incident

but after five weeks in anger management

i'm back

and i've got a new attitude and a new

name

and a bunch of new techniques for

dealing with the grumpies

morning jim hey andy how are you man

good drew what's that you can call me

drew

no i'm not gonna call you that cool

i can't control what you do i can only

control what i do

andy drew

dwight how's it going man

yes i have decided to shun andy bernard

for the next three years

which i'm looking forward to it's an

amish technique

it's like slapping someone with silence

i was shunned from the age of four until

my sixth birthday

for not saving the excess oil from a can

of tuna

jim could you please inform andy bernard

that he is being shunned andy

dwight says welcome back and he could

use a hug

okay tell him that that's not true

dwight says that he actually doesn't

know one single fact about bear attacks

okay no jim tell him bears can climb

faster than they can run

jim tell him andy

that's too far damn you

it's kind of blurry

that's better

question what kind of bear is best

that's a ridiculous question false black

bear

well that's debatable there are

basically two schools of thought fact

bears eat beets bears

beats battlestar galactica bears do not

what is going on what are you doing last

week i was in a drug store and i saw

these glasses

uh four dollars and it only cost me

seven dollars to recreate the rest of

the ensemble and that's a grand total of

eleven dollars you know what imitation

is the most sincere form of flattery so

i thank you

identity theft is not a joke jim

millions of families suffer every year

michael oh that's funny michael

hey

oh what's this that is demerit

jim halpert tardiness oh

i love it already you got to learn jim

you are second in command but that does

not put you above the law oh i

understand

and i also have lots of questions like

what does a demerit mean

let's put it this way you do not want to

receive three of those

three demerits and you'll receive a

citation now that sounds serious oh it

is serious

five citations and you're looking at a

violation four of those and you'll

receive a verbal warning

keep it up and you're looking at a

written warning two of those

that'll land you in a world of hurt in

the form of a disciplinary review

written up by me and placed on the desk

of my immediate superior which would be

me

that is correct okay i want a copy on my

desk

by the end of the day or you will

receive a full desatulation

what's a dis what's that

oh you don't want to know

okay where does it hurt just all over

i don't want to do anything dying

no that's not how it works you have to

point to a specific part of the body

right there abdomen

menses maybe the uterus contracts after

your egg passes

through it not it i don't have eggs so

when did this start

about 10 minutes ago when i came in with

the paperwork

um about 40 times a year michael gets

really sick but has no symptoms

dwight is always gravely concerned

oh is it possible you ate food that

contained animal waste

it's possible michael uh david wallace

is on line one

see a phone oh all right

everybody out out out okay

to what do i owe this great honor david

wallace michael

i am calling it

jan is jan there

janet out of town right now oh you sigh

like jan

i broke jan's heart david and i feel

awful it was

it was never my intention to ruin a life

but you know what

sometimes michael you just gots to get

your freak on

michael yeah michael hmm i am calling

to see if you would come down and

interview for a job

we have opening up in corporate really

a week from today bring your first

quarter stats and your recommendation

for who take over the scranton branch

wow i wish i had prepared something

to say that's not necessary god

guide you in your quest

yes

david oh michael are we all set

isn't our interview tomorrow

yes i just happened to be in the

neighborhood thought i'd drop in

say hello happen to be in midtown

manhattan

i thought i'd catch a show no no work

day

no you know what

since i'm here let me ask you a few

questions about

the job okay um how many people are you

interviewing

you're only interviewing branch managers

and some lower level company people

ah well good out of curiosity are you

interviewing anyone

who has been here longer than i have or

manages more people

i don't think so great one more question

when you merged those branches who did

you put in charge

i believe we put you in charge all right

no further questions okay michael okay i

am really looking forward to our

interview

and i'm really looking forward to

working with you

i have got it made in the shade

i know this company the other branch

managers are total morons

hey pam yeah i forgot what day the

interview was i drove to new york

accidentally be like three hours late

you

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
record-breaking /ˈrek.ərdˌbreɪ.kɪŋ/ B2	adjective - setting or exceeding a record
challenges /ˈtʃæl.ɪndʒ.ɪz/ B1	noun - difficulties that test someone's ability
hard-working /ˌhɑːrd ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ A2	adjective - diligent and industrious
merciless /ˈmɜːrsɪ.ləs/ C1	adjective - showing no compassion or mercy
insatiable /ɪnˈseɪʃ.ə.bl̩/ C1	adjective - impossible to satisfy
horizon /həˈraɪ.zən/ B1	noun - the line where the earth and sky appear to meet
employment /ɪmˈplɔɪ.mənt/ B1	noun - the state of having paid work
epiphany /ɪˈpɪf.ə.ni/ C1	noun - a sudden realization or insight
precious /ˈpreʃ.əs/ B1	adjective - of great value; cherished
demonstrate /ˈdem.ən.streɪt/ B1	verb - to show or explain by practical means
shunned /ʃʌnd/ B2	verb - to persistently avoid
excess /ɪkˈses/ B2	noun - an amount more than needed
salivate /ˈsæl.ɪ.veɪt/ B1	verb - to produce saliva
conducting /kənˈdʌktɪŋ/ B2	verb - organizing and carrying out
emeritus /ɪˈmerɪ.təs/ C2	adjective - having retired from a position but retaining an honorary title
hooked up /hʊkt ʌp/ B1	verb - to become romantically involved
magic /ˈmædʒ.ɪk/ A2	noun - the power of apparently influencing events
bondage /ˈbɒn.dɪdʒ/ C1	noun - the state of being physically restrained
dislocate /dɪsˈloʊ.keɪt/ C1	verb - to put (a bone or joint) out of its normal position

Key Grammar Structures

• i have left dunder mifflin after many record-breaking years and i am officially on the job market

  ➔ Present Perfect Tense

  ➔ The phrase "have left" and "am officially" use the present perfect tense to describe actions that started in the past and are relevant to the present.

• for your convenience i've broken it down into three parts

  ➔ Present Perfect with 'for'

  ➔ The phrase "i've broken it down" uses the present perfect with "for" to indicate an action done for someone's benefit in the past with present relevance.

• how would i describe myself three words: hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer

  ➔ Colon (:) Usage

  ➔ The colon is used to introduce a list or explanation after a statement, as seen in "three words: hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer."

• i got this job to make some money while i continue my employment search

  ➔ Subordinate Clause with 'while'

  ➔ The phrase "while i continue my employment search" is a subordinate clause using 'while' to indicate simultaneous actions.

• yesterday i was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork

  ➔ Past Continuous Tense

  ➔ The phrase "was scraping" uses the past continuous tense to describe an action that was in progress at a specific time in the past.

• no matter what i will always love you

  ➔ Emphatic Structure with 'no matter what'

  ➔ The phrase "no matter what" is used to emphasize that something will happen regardless of any circumstances.

• i feel i have a lot to learn from you even though you're younger and have less experience

  ➔ Concessive Clause with 'even though'

  ➔ The phrase "even though you're younger and have less experience" is a concessive clause that contrasts with the main idea.

• here's to the future andy and the tudor any and the tuna

  ➔ Appositive Phrase

  ➔ The phrases "the tudor any" and "the tuna" are appositive phrases that rename or explain the nouns they follow.