– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Hi. [laughter]

>> This guy says hello. I want to kill

myself.

>> Are you okay, sweetie?

>> I just feel like someone reached down my

throat, grabbed my small intestine,

pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it

around my neck.

>> Cookie.

>> Carol moved her stuff out today.

>> Let me get you some coffee.

>> Thanks.

>> No. Oh, no. No. Don't stop cleansing my

aura. [laughter]

Don't just leave my aura alone. Okay.

I'll be fine. All right. Really,

everyone? I hope she'll be very happy.

>> No, you don't.

>> No, I don't. To hell with her. She left

me.

And you never knew she was a lesbian.

[laughter]

>> No. Okay. Why does everyone keep

fixating on that? [laughter]

She didn't know. How should I know?

>> Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

[laughter]

>> Did I say that out loud?

>> All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a

lot of pain right now. You're angry.

You're hurting. Can I tell you what the

answer is?

>> Strip joint. [laughter]

>> Come on. You're single. Have some

hormones.

>> See, but I don't want to be single.

Okay. Hey, I just I just I just want to

be married again.

>> And I just want a million dollars.

>> Listen to me. It's like all of my life,

everyone has always told me, "You're a

shoe. You're a shoe. You're a shoe.

You're a shoe." And then today, I just

stopped and I said, "What if I don't

want to be a shoe? What if I want to be

a a purse, you know, or or or a hat?"

[laughter]

No, I don't want you to buy me a hat.

I'm saying that I am a H. It's a

metaphor. Daddy, [laughter]

>> you can see where you'd have trouble.

>> Look, Daddy, it's my life.

Well, well, maybe I'll just stay here

with Monica.

>> Well, I guess we've established you

staying here with Monica. [laughter]

>> Well, maybe that's my decision.

Well, maybe I don't need your money.

Wait. Wait. I said maybe.

>> Guess what?

>> You got a job.

>> Are you kidding? I'm trained for

nothing.

>> I was laughed at 12 interviews today.

>> And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.

>> Well, you would be too if you found Joan

and David boots on sale, 50% off.

>> Oh, how well you know me.

>> They're my new I don't need a job. I

don't need my parents. I've got great

boots. Boots.

How'd you pay for them?

>> Uh, credit card.

>> And who pays for that?

>> Um, my father.

[laughter]

>> Come on. You can't live off your parents

your whole life.

>> I know that. That's why I was getting

married. [laughter]

Give her a break. It's hard being on

your own for the first time.

>> Thank you. You're welcome. I remember

when I first came to this city, I was

14. My mom had just killed herself and

my stepdad was back in prison. And I got

here and I didn't know anybody. And I

ended up living with this albino guy who

was like cleaning windshields outside

Port Authority. And then he killed

himself.

And then I found aromatherapy. So

believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

>> The word you're looking for is

anyway.

[laughter]

All right. You ready?

>> I don't think so. Oh, come on. Cut, cut,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

[cheering]

[applause]

>> Hey, welcome to the real world. It

sucks. You're going to love it.

>> Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Decaf cappuccino for Joey,

coffee, black,

latte,

[laughter]

and a nice tea. I'm getting pretty good

at this.

>> Excellent.

>> Good for me. [laughter]

>> Oh, hey.

It's worse than the thumb.

>> This is so unfair.

>> Oh, poison scissors.

>> So, I have a flaw. Big deal. Like Joey's

constant knuckle cracking isn't

annoying. And Ross with his over

pronouncing every single word. And

Monica with that snort when she laughs.

I mean, what the hell is that thing?

[laughter]

I accept all those flaws. Why can't you

accept me for this?

>> Does the knuckle cracking bother

everybody?

[laughter]

>> Well, I I could live without it.

[laughter] Was

it like a little annoying or is it like

when Phoebe chews her hair?

[laughter]

>> Oh, now don't listen to him, Feebs. All

right. I think it's endearing.

>> Oh, you do. Do you? [laughter]

>> Now, there's nothing wrong with speaking

correctly.

>> Indeed, there isn't. [laughter]

I should really get back to work.

>> Yeah. Otherwise, someone might get what

they actually ordered.

>> Well,

the hair comes out and the gloves come

off. [laughter]

>> Right.

>> I don't have a plan.

>> Pizza guy. Thank God.

>> Phoebe,

>> what do you have a plan?

>> I don't even have a plan.

>> I want a mushroom, green pepper, and

onion.

>> No, no, no, that's not what we ordered.

We ordered a fat-free crust with extra

cheese.

[laughter]

>> Wait, you're not G Stephanopoulos?

>> Oh man, my dad's going to kill me. Wait,

[laughter]

did you say G Stephanopoulos?

>> Yeah. Yeah, this one goes across the

street. I must have given him yours. Oh,

bonehead. Bonehead.

[laughter]

>> Wait, was this a a small Mediterranean

guy with curiously intelligent good

looks?

>> Yeah, it sounds about right.

>> Was he Was he wearing a stunning blue

suit and and a power tie?

>> No, pretty much just a towel.

>> Oh god. Oh god.

>> So, you guys want me to take this back?

WHAT ARE YOU NUTS? WE'VE GOT GEORGE

STEPHANOPOULOS'S PIZZA.

>> UH, FEES.

>> Who is George Snuffelophagus? [laughter]

>> That's Pig Bird's friend.

>> I see pizza. Oh, I want to see. Let me

see. Let me see. Hello. Who are we

spying on? You know the White House

advisor, Clinton's campaign guy. The one

with the great hair, sexy smile, really

cute butt.

>> Oh, him, the little guy. Oh, I love him.

[laughter]

>> Oh, wait. Wait. I see a woman. Tell me

it's his mother. It's

>> definitely not his mother.

>> Oh, no. Wait. She's walking across the

floor. She's walking. She's walking.

She's going for THE PIZZA. HEY, THAT'S

NOT FOR YOU,

OKAY,

>> let's do laundry.

>> That was amazing.

>> I can't even send back soup.

>> Well, that's that's because you're such

a sweet, gentle uh

>> um uh do you uh do Oh, hey, you must

need detergent.

[laughter]

>> What's that?

>> Us.

It's uh It's new. It's German. It's

extra tough. [laughter]

Ra, do you are you going to separate

those?

>> Oh god.

>> Oh, am I being like a total laundry

span? I mean, am I supposed to use like

one machine for shirts and another

machine for pants? [laughter]

>> Have you Have you never done this

before?

>> Well, not myself, but I know other

people that have. [laughter]

>> Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry

virgin.

>> [laughter]

>> Uh well, don't worry. I'll use the

gentle side.

>> Okay. Um

uh basically, you want to use one

machine for all your whites.

>> Whites.

>> Okay. A whole another machine for for

your colors

>> and and a third for uh your uh

uh delicates. And that would be your

bras and your under panty things.

Okay. Well, what about these are white

cotton panties. Would they go with

whites or with delicates?

>> Uh, that that that would be a judgment

call. [laughter]

>> You got the clothes clean. Now that's

the important part.

>> Oh, I guess. Except everything looks

like jammies now.

[laughter]

Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this

cart.

Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist. You

lose things now. Come on. Get out of my

way.

>> I'm sorry. You know, maybe I wasn't

being clear. Uh, this was our car.

>> Hey, hey, hey. There aren't any CLOTHES

IN IT.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. QUIT MAKING UP

RULES.

>> Let's go. Come on. THIS IS MY CAR. I

THOUGHT IT WAS.

>> ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, MINTY. If you want

this cart, you're going to have to take

me with it.

>> [laughter]

>> Did you see that?

>> You were incredible.

>> A brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.

>> Thank you. Thank you. I could not have

done this without you.

[laughter]

>> Okay. Um uh more clothes in the dryer.

Everybody sh uh Central Perk is proud to

present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffet.

[cheering]

[applause]

>> Thanks. Hi. Um I want to start with a

song that's about that moment when you

suddenly realize what life is really all

about. Okay, here we go.

>> Okay, thank you very much. New York City

has no power. And the [music] milk is

getting sour, but to me it is not scary.

[music]

Cuz I stay away from dairy.

[laughter]

[music]

>> It's that Victoria's Secret model.

Something something goodacre.

>> Hi, Mom. It's Jill.

>> She's right. It's Jill. Jill Goodacre.

Oh my god. I am trapped in an ATM

vestibule with Jill Goodacre.

Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an ATM.

Oh yeah, that is the part to focus on,

you idiot.

>> Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the

bank. But an ATM vestibule.

>> Jill says vestibule. I'm going with

vestibule.

>> I'm fine. No, I'm not alone.

I don't know. Some guy.

>> Oh, some guy.

Some guy. Hey, Jill. I saw you with some

guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.

[laughter]

>> Would you like some gum?

>> Oh, is it sugarless? [laughter]

>> Sorry, it's not.

>> Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was

that? [laughter]

Mental note, if Jill Goodacre offers you

gum, you take it. If she offers you

mangled animal carcass, you take it.

You know, on second thought, gum would

be perfection.

[laughter]

Gum would be perfection.

Gum would be perfection. Could have said

gum would be nice. Could have said I'll

have a stick, but no, no, no, no, no.

For me, gum is perfection. [laughter]

I loathe myself.

Okay. What next? Blow a bubble. A

bubble's good. It's got a uh boyish

charm. It's impish.

Here we go.

[laughter]

Now it's going in. Okay. Okay. It It's

okay. All I need to do is reach over and

put it back in my mouth.

>> Good. Safe. We're back on track. And I'm

chewing someone else's gum.

This is not my gum. Oh my god. Oh my

god.

And now you're choking. [laughter]

>> Are you all right?

>> Oh my god. YOU'RE CHOKING

[laughter]

>> BETTER.

>> YES.

>> Thank you. That was

That was

>> perfection.

>> The most unbelievable thing has

happened. Underdog has gotten away.

>> The balloon. No. No. The actual cartoon

character. [laughter]

Of course, the balloon.

It's all over the news. Right before he

reached Macy's, he broke free and was

spotted flying over Washington Square

Park. I'm going to the roof. Who's with

me?

>> I can't. I got to go.

>> Come on. An 80ft inflatable dog loose

over the city. How often does that

happen?

>> Almost never.

>> Got the keys.

>> Okay.

First saw the giant dog shadow fall over

the park.

>> Yeah, but did they have to shoot him

down? I mean, that was just mean.

Okay. Right about now, the turkey should

be crispy on the outside, juicy on the

inside.

>> Why are we standing here?

>> We're waiting for you to open the door.

You've got the keys.

>> No, I don't. [laughter]

Yes, you do. When we left, you said,

"Got the keys." No, I didn't. I asked,

"Got the keys?"

>> No, no, no. You said got the keys.

Either of you have the keys. [laughter]

>> The oven is on.

>> Oh, I've got to get my ticket.

>> Oh, wait. Wait. We have a copy of YOUR

KEY.

>> WELL, THEY GET IT. GET IT.

>> HEY. HEY. That tone won't make me go any

faster, [laughter]

>> Joey.

>> That one will.

>> I swear you said you HAD THE KEYS.

>> NO, I DIDN'T. I WOULDN'T SAY I had the

keys unless I had the keys. I OBVIOUSLY

DID NOT HAVE THE KEYS.

>> OH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. ENOUGH

with the keys. No one say keys.

Why would I have the keys? [laughter]

>> Aside from the fact that you said you

had them, BUT I DIDN'T. WELL, YOU SHOULD

HAVE. WHY?

>> BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS MY

RESPONSIBILITY. Is that I mean, isn't it

enough that I'm making Thanksgiving

dinner for everyone? YOU KNOW, EVERYONE

wants a DIFFERENT KIND OF POTATO. SO,

I'M MAKING different kinds of potatoes.

I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY care what kind of

potatoes I want? NO. [screaming]

NO. [cheering] NO. YOU KNOW, JUST AS

LONG AS PHOEBE gets her peas AND ONIONS

AND MARIO GETS HIS TOTS AND get my first

Thanksgiving and I IT'S ALL BURNED AND I

[laughter]

>> Hey, Monica. Only dogs can hear you now.

So, look, the door's open. Here we go.

>> Oh,

well, turkeyy's burnt.

Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are

ruined. Potatoes are ruined. [laughter]

>> Here we come. Walking down the

[laughter]

>> This doesn't smell like mom's.

>> No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted

lumps, Ross. WELL, HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.

YOU GOT ONE. [laughter]

>> OH, GOD. This is great. The plane is

gone, so I guess I'm stuck here with you

guys.

>> Hey, we all had better plans. Okay. This

was nobody's first choice.

>> Oh, really? SO WHY WAS I BUSTING MY ASS

TO MAKE THIS DELICIOUS THANKSGIVING

DINNER?

>> YOU CALL IT DELICIOUS.

Why don't WE GO SEE IT? [laughter]

>> STOP IT. STOP IT.

>> Now this feels like Thanksgiving.

>> Okay. Who wants light cheese and who

wants dark cheese?

>> I don't even want to know about the dark

cheese.

Does anybody want to split this with me?

>> Oh, I will.

>> You guys have to make a wish.

>> Make a wish.

>> Come on. You know Thanksgiving.

[laughter]

>> Woohoo. You got the bigger half. What'

you wish for?

>> The bigger half.

[laughter]

>> All right. I'd like to propose a toast.

Little toast here.

I know this isn't exactly the kind of

Thanksgiving that all of you planned,

but for me, this has been really great.

You know, I think because it didn't

involve divorce or projectile vomiting.

[laughter]

Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if

you'd gone to Veil or if you guys had

been with your family or if you didn't

have

syphilis and stuff,

we wouldn't be all together, you know?

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is

that uh I'm very thankful that all of

your Thanksgiving sucked. [laughter]

>> It's so sweet.

>> Thank you.

>> And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas

>> and a crappy new year.

>> Here,

>> guys. There's uh somebody I'd like you

to meet.

>> Wait, wait. What is that? That would be

Marcel. You want to say hi?

>> No. No, I don't. Oh, he is precious.

Where did you get him?

>> My friend Bethl rescued him from some

lab.

>> That is so cruel. Why? Why would a

parent name their child Bethl?

[laughter]

>> Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his

ass.

>> Ros, is he going to live with you like

in your apartment?

>> Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet

since Carol left. So,

>> why don't you just get a roommate?

>> Uh, I don't know. I think you reach a

certain age, having a roommate is just

kind of pathetic.

>> Uh, sorry, that's that's pathetive.

>> What do you think?

>> I think it's the most beautiful table

I've ever seen.

>> I know.

>> So, how does this work? Going to balance

the plates on these little guys' heads?

Who

>> cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on,

somebody. Heads

up, ROSS. SCORE.

>> You suck. [laughter]

[screaming]

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

>> That is it. You just barge in here. You

don't knock. YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR

ANYBODY'S PRIVACY. WAIT. NO. YOU WAIT.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

>> Just say ONE THING.

>> WHAT? WHAT? That's a relatively open

weave and I can still see your

nipular areas.

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could

>> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your

thing.

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> What's the matter with you?

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS TROUBLE.

>> OH, WHAT?

>> YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE SO I

COULD SEE YOUR THING. [laughter]

>> SORRY, my my thing was in there with me.

>> Hey, Joey. What's going on?

>> Clear the tracks for the Booby Payback

Express. Next stop, Rachel Green.

>> [screaming]

>> Joey, what the hell were you doing?

>> Sorry, wrong boobies. [laughter]

>> Hello, Joey.

>> Hello, dear.

>> [laughter]

>> Who are they?

>> The uh blonde is my ex wife and the

woman touching her is her close personal

friend. [laughter]

>> I mean they're lovers.

>> If you want to put a label on it.

[laughter]

>> Wow. Uh anything else I should know?

>> Nope. Nope. That That's it.

Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.

[laughter]

I always forget that part. [laughter]

>> Hello.

Can you see my nipples through this

shirt?

[laughter]

>> No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're

still there.

>> So, where are you going, Mr. Sudy man?

>> Well, I have an appointment to see Dr.

Robert Pilman, career counselor. Agogo.

>> I added the agogo.

>> Career counselor.

>> Hey, you guys all know what you want to

do.

>> I don't.

>> Hey, you guys in the living room all

know what you want to do. You know, you

have goals. You have dreams. I don't

have a dream. Uh, the lesserk known I

don't have a dream speech.

>> Oh, I love my life. I love my life. Oh,

Bryant song.

The meeting with that guy went great. So

great. He showed me where the

restaurant's going to be. It's It's this

cute little place on Tent Street. It's

not too big. It's not too small. It's

just right.

>> Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman

and some bears?

>> So now we draw cards. [laughter]

So, I wouldn't need any, right? Cuz I

have a straight.

>> Oh, CONGRATULATIONS.

>> OKAY, FEBS, how many do you want?

>> Okay, I just need two. The um 10 of

spades and the six of clubs.

>> No. Uh Febs, you can't do that. You

can't

>> Oh, wait. I have the T of spades. Here

you want.

>> Uh no. See, uh you you can't do that.

No, that's okay. That's okay. I don't

need them. I'm going for force.

>> Oh, you're [laughter]

>> Damn it. [music] Damn it. Damn it.

>> Yeah,

>> I see. So then, um, you were lying

>> about what?

>> About how good your cards were.

>> I was bluffing.

>> Aha. And what is bluffing?

>> Is it not another word for lying?

>> Okay. Sorry to break up this party, but

I've got resumes to fix before work

tomorrow. Ra, we got to settle.

>> Settle what?

>> The Jamestown colony of Virginia.

[laughter]

>> You see, King George is giving us the

land. So, [laughter]

>> the game, Rachel, the game. You owe us

money for the game.

>> Oh, right.

>> You know what, you guys? It's their

first time. Why don't we just forget

about the money?

>> Well, no, we'll pay.

Monica, I had another answer already.

[laughter]

And you know what? We want a rematch.

>> Well, that's fine with me. Could use the

money.

>> All right.

>> Your money's mine. Green.

>> Your fly is open. GELLER. [laughter]

[music]

>> You guys, you know what I just realized?

Joker is poker with a J. [laughter]

Coincidence?

Hey, that's that's Joe incidents with a

C.

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Uh, Phoebe. Phoebe.

>> Yeah, I'm I'm out.

>> I'm in.

>> Me, too.

>> Me, too. All right. What do you got?

>> Well, you better hop out of the shower

cuz I got a flush.

>> [cheering]

>> Well, well, well. Hop back in, bucko,

CUZ I GOT FOUR SIXES. I GOT FOUR SIXES.

I WON. I actually won. Oh my. Oh, look.

You know what? I think I'm going to make

a little Ross pile. [laughter]

I think that one was Ross's. And I think

Oh, that one was Ross's.

>> I see your 20.

Where's your 25?

>> [laughter]

>> Say you're 25

and uh Monica, get my purse.

>> Rachel, there's nothing in it.

[laughter]

>> Okay, then get me your purse.

[laughter]

Okay, babe. Here you go. Good luck.

Thank you.

I saw you're 25 and I raised you

seven

teen.

[laughter]

>> Joey, I'm a little shy.

>> That's okay, Ross. You can ask me.

[laughter]

What do you need? What do you need?

>> 15.

>> All right. Here's 10.

>> Here. I got five. I got five. Thank you.

>> Good luck. [clears throat]

>> Okay. I am calling your 17. What do you

got?

[music]

Full house.

>> [music]

>> You got me. Oh.

That's all right. That's a tough hand to

beat. I thought we had them.

>> Oh, well, when you don't have the cards,

you don't have the cards, you know. But,

uh, [sighs]

>> look how happy she is.

[snorts]

>> Hey. Hey. How was the first day?

>> Oh, excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.

>> See, it pays to know the man who wears

my shoes.

Me.

No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew

you.

>> Why not?

>> Well, because you know

>> they don't like you. [laughter]

>> What?

>> I thought you'd do that.

>> Nuh-uh.

>> Who doesn't like me?

>> Everyone

except for um No, everyone.

>> What are you talking about?

>> Don't feel bad. You know, they used to

like you a lot, but then you got

promoted and you know, now you're all

like Mr. Bossman. You know, Mr. Bing,

Mr. Bing, boss man Bing. [laughter]

>> I can't believe it.

>> Yeah. Yeah. They even do you.

>> They do me,

>> you know, like um Okay. Um could that

report be any later?

I don't sound like that.

>> Oh. Oh, J.

>> Yeah, you do. [laughter]

>> The hills are alive with the sound

of music. [laughter]

[applause]

MY STONE. MY STONE. [laughter]

>> OKAY, I don't sound like that. That is

so not true.

That is so not That is so not that. Oh,

shut up.

[snorts]

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, that's nice.

Oh,

Ros.

Ross,

>> I'm here. [laughter]

>> You are

um we um we were just

Wow.

>> What?

>> Um

>> great. Now I'm having a baby.

>> What?

No, I'm I'm HAVING I'M HAVING A BABY.

I'M I'M HAVING IT WITH THE PHONE. THE

PHONE. THE PHONE.

[laughter]

>> ROS,

>> I'm hurt.

>> Monica, let's go. Come on now, people.

Woman in labor.

>> Hey, Ross, look what I got going here.

>> Yeah, save it for the cab. Okay.

[laughter]

>> What are you doing? What are you doing?

We're going to a hospital.

>> What? So I can't look nice? There might

be doctors there.

>> Joey, get out of the fridge.

>> All right. All right.

>> What is that for the ride?

>> Oh, yeah. Like in a cab.

>> Save it.

>> Okay. Hating this.

>> MONICA, COME ON OUT NOW. Let's go.

>> Baby coming.

>> I can't believe it. I'm going to be an

ant.

>> I'm going to have like a nephew.

[laughter]

>> That's nice. Get out. Let's go. Come on.

Right. Right. I'm going. I'm going.

Here

we go.

>> They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to

[music] touch. Soon they'll grow up and

resent you [singing] so much.

Now they're yelling at you and you don't

know [singing] why. And you cry and you

cry and you cry

and you cry and you cry and you

>> Thanks, Ross.

>> Yeah, I'm paying you to stop. [laughter]

>> Okay.

>> Oh, look. Twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute.

Cute.

>> No fair. I don't even have one. How come

they get two?

>> You'll get one.

>> Oh, yeah. When?

>> All right. I'll tell you what. when

we're 40. If neither of us are married,

>> what do you say you and I get together

and have one?

>> Why won't I be married when I'm 40?

[laughter]

>> Oh, no, no, no. I I just meant

hypothetically.

>> Okay. Hypothetically, why won't I be

married when I'm 40?

>> No, no, no,

>> no, no. What is it? Seriously, is there

something fundamentally unmarable about

me?

>> Uh uh.

>> Well,

>> dear God, this this parachute is a

knapsack.

>> Everything's going fine. Really? Yeah,

Ross is great. He's a He's in a whole

other place [laughter]

now. He's gone.

No, no, you you don't have to fly back.

Really?

>> What do you mean? This might be your

only chance. Would you stop? I'm only

26. I'm I'm not even thinking about

babies yet. [crying]

[laughter]

Oh god, I can't believe one of us

actually has one of these.

>> I know. I still am one of these.

[laughter]

>> Ross,

>> can I

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. [music] You

got to

>> Hi, Ben.

Hi.

I'm your aunt Monica. Yes, I am. I'm

your aunt, Monica.

>> I

I will always have gum.

>> Hey, thanks.

>> How long did you think this barbecue was

going to last?

>> I'm going to China.

>> Jeez, you say one thing. And

>> you're going to China?

>> Yeah, it it's for the museum. Someone

found a bone. We want the bone, but they

don't want us to have the bone. So, I'm

going over there trying to persuade them

to give us the It's a It's a whole big

bone thing. [laughter]

Anyway, I'm going to be gone for like uh

like a week. So, uh if you want to reach

me, you can't. So, here's my itinerary.

Um

here's a picture of me.

>> Oh, let me see. [laughter]

>> Could you take it to Carol's every now

and then and show it to Ben just so he

doesn't forget me?

>> Yeah. Hi, Ben. I'm your father.

I am the head.

>> All right, this barbecue is going to be

very fun.

>> Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to

wish her a happy birthday before I I

left.

>> Oh, no. She's out having drinks with

Carl.

>> Oh, hey, who's Carl? [laughter]

>> You know that guy that she met at the

coffee house?

>> No. Well, well, see, there's this guy

that she met at

>> at the coffee house, right?

>> So, you do know who he is.

[laughter]

>> Oh, so pretty. This must have cost him a

fortune. I can't believe he did this.

>> Come on, Ross. Remember back in college

when he fell in love with Carol and

bought her that ridiculously expensive

crystal duck?

>> What did you just say?

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

>> Crystal duck.

>> No, no, no. The um the love part.

[laughter]

>> Oh.

My god.

>> Oh, no. No, no, no. That's good. Just

keep rubbing your head. That'll turn

back time.

>> I mean, you and Ross, did you have any

idea?

>> No. None. I mean, my first night in the

city, he mentioned something about

asking me out, but nothing ever

happened, so I just Well, what else did

he say? I mean, does he like want to go

out with me? Well, given that he's

desperately in love with you, he

probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of

coffee or something.

>> All this time?

>> Well, I've got to talk to him.

>> Yeah, he's in China.

>> The country?

[laughter]

>> No, no, wait. His flight doesn't leave

for another 45 more minutes.

>> What about the time difference?

>> From here to the airport.

>> Yes.

>> You're never going to make it.

>> Well, I've got to try. Rachel, what are

you going to say to him?

I I don't know.

>> Well, then maybe you shouldn't go.

>> He's right. Cuz if you're just going to

like break his heart, that's the kind of

thing that can wait.

>> Yeah, but if it's good news, you should

tell him now.

>> I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see

him. Here, look. All right. Does this

help? [laughter]

[applause]

>> No. Look, all I know is that I cannot

wait a week until I see him. I mean,

this is just too big, you know? Just I

just I've just got to talk to him. I I

got to Okay, I'll see you later.

>> Rachel, I love you. Deal with me first.

[laughter]

[laughter]

Excuse me.

>> Pardon me. Excuse me.

>> Hi. Hi. Can I see your boarding pass?

>> No. No. I don't have one. I just need to

talk to my friend.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. You are not allowed on

the jetway unless you have a boarding

pass.

>> No, I know that I He just went on. He's

right there. He's got the blue jacket

on. I can I just I'm sorry. No, no.

Federal regulations. Okay. All right.

Okay. Um then could you please uh just

give him a message for me, please? This

is very important. All right. What's the

message? Uh I don't know. [laughter]

>> Sir. Sir, excuse me, sir.

>> Um, I have a message for you.

>> What?

>> It's from Rachel. She said that she

loved the present and she will see you

when you get back.

>> What?

[laughter]

>> Toby. Oh, for God's sake. I don't know

what she's talking about. There's no

Rachel. Don't give me that deep freeze.

[music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
cleansing /ˈklɛnzɪŋ/ B2	verb - to remove dirt or impurities
fixating /fɪkˈseɪtɪŋ/ C1	verb - to obsessively focus on something
metaphor /ˈmɛtəfɔːr/ B2	noun - a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object
upbeat /ˈʌpbiːt/ B2	adjective - cheerful and optimistic
endearing /ɪnˈdɪərɪŋ/ C1	adjective - inspiring love or affection
detergent /dɪˈtɜːrdʒənt/ B2	noun - a water-soluble cleansing agent
delicates /ˈdɛlɪkəts/ B2	noun - fragile clothing items requiring careful washing
vestibule /ˈvɛstɪbjuːl/ C2	noun - an antechamber, hall, or lobby
mangled /ˈmæŋɡəld/ C1	adjective - severely mutilated, disfigured, or damaged
perfection /pərˈfɛkʃən/ B1	noun - the state of being perfect
loathe /loʊð/ C1	verb - to feel intense dislike or disgust for
impish /ˈɪmpɪʃ/ C2	adjective - inclined to do slightly naughty things for fun
inflatable /ɪnˈfleɪtəbəl/ B2	adjective - capable of being filled with air
responsibility /rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪlɪti/ B1	noun - the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something
projectile /prəˈdʒɛktɪl/ C1	adjective - relating to forceful ejection
resell /ˌriːˈsɛl/ B1	verb - to sell something again
pathetic /pəˈθɛtɪk/ B2	adjective - miserably inadequate
privacy /ˈpraɪvəsi/ B1	noun - the state of being free from public attention
bluffing /ˈblʌfɪŋ/ B2	verb - to deceive someone as to one's abilities or intentions
itinerary /aɪˈtɪnərəri/ C1	noun - a planned route or journey