– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Some of the worst things that have

happened to you might not be things that

you [music] chose, but they might be the

reason why you're here. Because your

pain isn't a punishment. Maybe it's the

thing that's preparing you to become the

person that you can become. But if you

ignore the pain that you've had in your

life, I promise you this, it will repeat

over and over and over again. But if you

grow from it, it can set you free. If

you don't, it can keep you stuck in

cycles forever. And no amount of money

or success will make up for what you

haven't healed in your life. And the

life that you want will always feel just

a little bit out of reach for you until

you learn to get the lessons and grow

from your pain. Because people think

that they want an easy life. I'm telling

you this, you don't want an easy life.

An easy life doesn't make a good life. A

hard life when faced with courage can

make an extraordinary one. Your life

doesn't get easier. You just get better.

And so your pain has a purpose. And let

me hit you with this so you have an

idea. Your pain is either going to be

your prison or it's going to be your

greatest teacher. And it doesn't just go

away and disappear because time has

passed. Unprocessed pain doesn't just

leave. It leaks into many other areas of

your life. into your relationships, into

your self-worth, into your confidence,

into your parenting your children, into

your ambition, into your anxiety. You

have to understand that pain that is

unhealed, that is within you and not

used to grow is basically like a virus.

And when you look at a virus, what

exactly does a virus do? A virus comes

in, it spreads all over the place, and

it attacks the host. That's exactly what

your unhealed pain does. It spreads all

over. It gets into your relationships,

your friendships, your ambition. It gets

into your relationship with your

children. And it attacks the host, you.

And you know, the mistake that most

people make is going, "Well, I've got

this pain. I've got this trauma. I've

got things that are just really painful.

I don't want to think about." So, they

try to outrun their pain instead of

learning to grow from it. So they they

scroll instead of avoiding the silence

where all of their stuff kind of bubbles

to the surface or they work non-stop to

avoid the feelings. They fill every

single second of their day so that you

don't have to feel what's deep down

inside that's actually hurting. I did

this when I was younger. I became a

workaholic. Some people get addicted to

food or scrolling or alcohol or drugs. I

became addicted to work because if I was

constantly working, which I did about

130 hours a week, [snorts] I was from

7:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. every single

day, Monday through Sunday for 3 years,

then I didn't have enough downtime to

think about the painful things that

happened to me in my past. No way. I was

too busy to be able to do it. But here's

the truth that that people don't really

want to say and they have have to

understand that pain is not the enemy.

Avoiding pain is the enemy. Let this

land with you for a second. Your pain is

your greatest teacher. Your pain will

give you your purpose. The cave that

you're afraid to enter holds the

treasure that you seek. And we will be

right back. Hey, I want to interrupt

today's episode to tell you about my

sponsor. It is me, myself. If you didn't

know, I obviously have some coaching

programs outside of the podcast to help

you learn and grow and become a better

version of yourself. Step-by-step

programs and processes to help you

become better in your life and create

the life that you want. If you want to

learn more about it, you can go to

coachwithro.com.

Once again, coachwith.com.

Check it out. And let's get back to the

episode. And you've got to constantly be

reminding yourself of that. And like

I'll give you my story for instance. So,

if you've never heard it before, when I

was 10 years old, my parents got

divorced because my dad was an

alcoholic. I didn't really understand it

back then. I knew he had some problems.

I didn't really understand what was

going on, but like I felt it as a human,

right? I felt unsafe. I felt the

instability. I felt the fear. I felt the

confusion of not knowing what version of

my dad I was going to get from moment to

moment. Then when I was 15, my dad

passed away from the same thing that had

been stealing him from me for years,

which was alcoholism because he never

healed from his pain of his past and his

father's suicide. So I lost my dad and

never really got to know him. And that

pain of going through that wrecked me

when I was a kid. But it also really

woke me up because I saw with my own two

eyes what happens when somebody does not

heal from their pain. I lived in the

house with somebody who does not heal

from their pain and saw how running from

the pain and trying to numb from the

pain eventually will end in your demise.

And so I saw what unhealed trauma does

to a man. And I saw how numbing the pain

doesn't erase it. It just multiplies it

over and over again and it lit something

up inside of me and it really gave me a

mission. First thing that I decided was

I need to figure out how to heal myself,

right? So, I was like, I'm going to heal

myself. When I first found personal

development, the reason why I'm so

obsessed with mindset and working on

myself and psychology and personal

development is because when I first

found personal development when I was 19

years old, back in 2006, I was like, "Oh

my god, this is what I've been waiting

for." We didn't have enough money for me

to go to a therapist. So, I was like,

I'm going to try to see if I can work on

myself. And the more that I worked on

myself, the more that I felt like I had

gone deeper in traumatic things and

memories that were hard and started

working from them and and finding some

some purpose and healing from these

things. I started to heal myself. I

started to learn how to actually heal.

And then when I was, you know, 22 years

old, 21 years old, I was running an

office and I had salespeople that were

under me and I started working with

them. I started teaching them how to

heal themselves and how to work with

their mind and they started healing and

I was like this is amazing. So I started

after learning how to heal myself. I

started teaching other people how to do

it. And then that pain that was like my

deepest pain of my life, the worst

moment of my life of my father passing

away like it gave me my life's purpose

and I would not be sitting here today

without it. And so I kind of felt like I

learned how to free myself. I'm not

going to say I'm 100% free from my

trauma. I don't think I'll ever get 100%

free from everything, but I learned how

to free myself from a lot of it and

create a great life. And I was like, I

feel obligated to teach this to people.

Like, I feel obligated. Like, I feel

like I've had like the secret sauce

that's helped my life become amazing. I

want to teach this to other people. And

so, I didn't set out to make the biggest

mindset podcast in the world. I just

wanted to help whoever would listen. I

just wanted to help people who needed

help. I wanted to help people who were

just going this through the same

that I went through or going through the

same thing that my dad went through that

he didn't heal from. And then over the

past 10, 11 years, we just created the

biggest mindset podcast in the world.

But it wasn't the actual intention. And

it gave me my life's purpose. And so I

want you to think about for you in your

life, the hardest moments that you've

gone through, the relationship with your

mom, the relationship with your parents,

the breakups that you've had, the

heartbreaks that you've had, the

traumas, the grief that you've had.

Think about the hardest things that

you've been through in your life, the

abuse, the addiction, the breakup,

whatever it might have been, the loss,

the rock bottom. And I want you to think

about how that helped you become who you

are. Like think about who you became

after that moment if you chose to grow.

The self-awareness that you started to

develop, the resilience that you started

to develop, you know, like you started

getting more resilient as a human, the

empathy that you were able to learn for

other people who are going through so

many crazy things as well. The

boundaries that you learn to finally set

in your life, the purpose that got

clear, whatever it might have been. I

realize that the hardest moments in your

life, you don't want to go back and ever

do them again. I don't want to go back

to any of my hard moments ever again,

but you'd never take them away. And the

reason why is because you learned so

many lessons from it. You became a

better person from it. If you're going

through hell right now, you're going to

pull some lessons from it. Hopefully, if

you're not just trying to push away and

act like it's not there. The pain of

these things in your past, the pain that

you're going through now didn't come to

destroy you. It came to develop you into

the person that you can be. But the

catch is just because pain can help you

grow doesn't mean that it will. Like you

actually have to seek it out. You have

to seek out the pain and the things that

have happened to you in the past and

pull the lessons from it. You have to

choose it. Like you have to choose to

sit with it and think about it and to

feel the things that you tried to not

feel years ago. You have to sit down and

ask yourself questions like what was

that thing here to teach me? Or if

you're going through it right now, what

are you here to teach me right now? What

lessons can I pull from this? How can I

become better? I'm going to tell you

this and this is why most people avoid

it. It's not easy. It's not fun. In

fact, it's probably the hardest thing

that you can go through. you know, it

doesn't feel comfortable.

In fact, it's probably the least

comfortable thing that you can do. But

here's the way that I think about it.

Trauma is basically like a imagine that

you you have a broken bone, right? And

the bone is eventually going to grow

back together, but imagine that when

your bone grows back together, it

doesn't set correctly. It kind of

offsets a little bit and it's not in the

right place. That's kind of like what

trauma is is it's a break in you and

then if it's not healed, it doesn't heal

correctly. So, it's kind of like a bone

that didn't get put perfectly back

together. It's a little bit off to the

side. It's going to cause you pain. It's

going to cause you discomfort. It's

going to cause you a lot of issues

throughout your entire life. What's the

only way to fix that broken bone? You've

got to rebreak the bone and set it

correctly. That's kind of what it's like

to go back and try to heal from your

trauma is it's breaking the bone. Is

that going to feel good? Hell no, it's

not going to feel good. Is it a lot of

pain? Is it a lot of discomfort? There's

a lot of rehab and working through it.

Yes. But the benefit is once it's

healed, you never have to rebreak that

bone and heal from it again. You just

have to do it once. But on the other

side of that uncomfortable feeling, it's

a newer, more freer, happier, stronger

version of you. And you know, there is a

cost to not processing your pain. So, if

you're going through pain right now,

there's a cost if you're just going to

try to avoid it. If you have pain from

your past, there is a cost from you

avoiding it if you decide not to

actually learn from it. And it's usually

one that you'll pay without even really

noticing it. And it's not like it just

goes away. Like, think about this,

right? If your dog poops on the floor,

that poop doesn't just disappear. You

have to clean it up. It is there until

you clean it up. You can walk around it

and you can not look at it and you can

act like it's not there, but it's there

until you clean it up. That poop is your

unhealed stuff. You can act like it's

not there. It's there. Some of you are

sidstepping all day long around poop in

your house and acting like it's not

there, but just cuz you're acting like

it's not there doesn't mean it's not

there. All of your problems today come

from your unhealed stuff in the past

that you haven't grown from or you have

problems trusting people in a

relationship or whatever it might be.

It's not because the people that you're

having trouble with right now today hurt

you. It's because somebody else hurt you

in your past. You haven't healed from

that. Right? If you're afraid of

somebody cheating on you or breaking up

with you or breaking your heart, it's

not because it's that person. It's

because it's already happened to you in

your past. The pain that you have in

your past is what creates your fear in

the future. If you have a short fuse

today, if you explode over small things,

you weren't born with it. It's not your

personality.

It's not the moment that's setting you

off. It's the memory underneath all of

it. Because anger is always just

bubbling under the surface for you

because that's something that's unhealed

within you. If you numb in your life or

you feel less joy than you feel like you

should, it's not because you're broken.

It's because you probably learned in

your past that you had to shut down

parts of you in order to survive.

You had to shut down because you had so

much emotional attachment to somebody

that just kept destroying you and

destroying you and destroying you to

protect yourself, you had to shut it

down. And so, you need to heal yourself

in order to open back up and feel it

again. If you're a people pleaser today,

it's because you learned not to stand

out as a child. Maybe you lived in a

chaotic household and you didn't want to

cause more chaos, so you became a people

pleaser or the good kid. Or maybe you

learned that you always had to do what

dad said and so you learn to be a people

pleaser. That's an unhealed child that's

in you and that's the thing that holds

you back the most today. So avoiding the

pain doesn't protect you. It prolongs

the pain. It multiplies the pain. It

makes it worse. And if you don't heal it

now, you're going to have to deal with

it later. It's just going to continue to

get worse. And you're going to deal with

it in many different ways. If you don't

heal it, broken relationships, anxiety,

sadness, uh depression, burnout, um

self- sabotage, chronic just

dissatisfaction with your life. So, if

you're going to suffer, like make it

count at least. Like, if you're going to

suffer, at least let it serve you in

some sort of way. If you're going to

have to walk through hell, you might as

well come back with some fire, right?

And so, you have to understand and start

seeing this pain, these things that

you're either going through right now or

that you've been through in your past as

the most important things that have ever

happened to you in your life. Not things

that you want to avoid, the most

important things that have happened to

you in your life. Because buried inside

of it is your growth, is your empathy,

is your compassion, is your your

resilience.

And for many people listening to this

podcast, your purpose, most people think

purpose is only found in passion or only

things that they've love they love. And

sure, that that can be that way for some

people, but what I found is that for

many people, your purpose is actually

found in your pain. It's not always

found in what you love. For some people,

your purpose is found in what you have

survived. Because when you survive

something that could have broken you and

you heal from that thing, you become

somebody who can help others that are

walking the same path. If you heal from

something today, 3 years from now, if

you keep healing and keep working on

yourself, you now have the skill set to

help other people heal from that in some

sort of way that can make an amazing

life. And so my call to action for you

is this, right? There's a couple

different steps. Number one, you have to

stop running from your pain. Like sit

with your pain. Sit with your story.

Journal on the hardest moments of your

life. What did you learn from it? What

did it teach you? Why is it your

greatest teacher? Why are you grateful

for your biggest challenges? That's one

of the things every morning I wake up

and when I go through my gratitude

practice, one thing that I always say

is, "Thank you for all of my challenges.

Thank you for the hardest moments in my

life because I want to be grateful for

those things. I want to change my

perception on them. Not be mad at them,

but to learn from them." So that's the

first thing. Stop running. Two, get

better at asking questions. Like, ask

better questions. What was this thing

trying to teach me? What strength did I

learn in that season? What was I

supposed to have learned from this? How

did I grow? What lessons maybe was I

supposed to get that I haven't gotten

yet? The third thing, try to turn your

pain into purpose. Maybe it's time for

you to help others heal from what you've

healed from. Maybe you've healed really

well and you've done a really good job

and you can start to actually help other

people heal from what you went through

at some point in time. Or maybe it's

just time to be more intentional with

your own growth. And then the last thing

I really want you to think about is just

try to honor your story. Your story

doesn't make you weak. It makes you a

human. And when you own your story, like

all of your story, you own all of your

story. All of you,

you become dangerous to all of the

patterns that try to keep you stuck. You

become aware of how they all have held

you back. you're able to get past all of

them and they don't hold you back in any

sort of way anymore. And so what I

really want you to understand is that

your pain, please don't waste it. It

wasn't random. It's not meaningless.

It's there because something inside of

you was supposed to be built from it.

You know, strength has a cost. Wisdom.

It has a price. You know, purpose comes

from a lot of pain. And so I want to

leave you real quickly with this real

quick poem that just kind of summarizes

all of this. Okay, imagine that you

could talk to the creator of the

universe before your birth and you could

pick the person that you become. And so

you say, "I want to be courageous." And

the creator replies, "Then I will give

you monsters that terrify you so that

you can conquer them." You say, "I want

to be patient." So the creator replies,

"Then I will make you work harder and

longer so that you can learn to wait."

You say, "I want to be wise." And the

creator replies, "Then I will give you

failures that crush your spirit so that

you can learn the value of judgment."

And then you say, "Man, that sounds like

a rough life. Can you give me a good

life?" And the creator replies, "Just

like we measure the quality of a

blacksmith by the strength of his steel,

I measure you by what you are at the

end, not the fire and the hammer that it

took to make you." A good life isn't a

life that's easy. A good life makes you

into a good person. And that, my son, is

a hard life.

Hey, thanks so much for watching this

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Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
pain /peɪn/ B1	noun - physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury. noun - mental or emotional suffering or distress.
purpose /ˈpɜːrpəs/ B1	noun - the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
trauma /ˈtrɔːmə/ B2	noun - a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
heal /hiːl/ A2	verb - become sound or healthy again.
growth /ɡroʊθ/ A2	noun - the process of increasing in physical size. noun - the process of developing or maturing.
courage /ˈkʌrɪdʒ/ B1	noun - the ability to do something that frightens one.
relationships /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/ B1	noun - the way in which two or more concepts or objects are connected.
confidence /ˈkɒnfɪdəns/ B1	noun - the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something.
anxiety /æŋˈzaɪəti/ B2	noun - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an event or something with an uncertain outcome.
addicted /əˈdɪktɪd/ B2	adjective - physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance.
obsessed /əbˈsest/ B2	adjective - preoccupied with something.
lessons /ˈlesənz/ A2	noun - a piece of information or knowledge gained from experience.
resilience /rɪˈzɪliəns/ C1	noun - the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.
empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/ C1	noun - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
boundaries /ˈbaʊndəriz/ B1	noun - a line that marks the limits of an area. noun - personal rules that define acceptable behavior.
demise /dɪˈmaɪs/ C1	noun - the end or death.

Key Grammar Structures

• Because your pain isn't a punishment.

  ➔ Inversion after 'because' for emphasis, noun phrase as complement.

  ➔ The sentence structure emphasizes that pain is *not* a punishment. The use of 'isn't' is a contraction of 'is not'. The phrase 'a punishment' functions as a complement describing the nature of the pain. The word **because** introduces the reason.

• Maybe it's the thing that's preparing you to become the person that you can become.

  ➔ Relative clause ('that's preparing you...') modifying 'thing', nested relative clause ('that you can become').

  ➔ This sentence uses complex sentence structure with embedded clauses. The word **maybe** introduces a possibility. The phrase 'the person that you can become' is a relative clause defining the potential self. The word **that** introduces the relative clause.

• And no amount of money or success will make up for what you haven't healed in your life.

  ➔ Quantifier 'no amount of' + noun, 'make up for' as a phrasal verb, 'what' as a relative pronoun introducing a noun clause.

  ➔ This sentence uses strong language to convey the importance of healing. The phrase **no amount of** emphasizes that material possessions cannot compensate for emotional wounds. The word **what** introduces a noun clause describing the unhealed aspects of life.

• Your life doesn't get easier. You just get better.

  ➔ Present simple for general truths, contrastive structure with 'doesn't...just...'

  ➔ This is a concise and impactful statement. The word **just** emphasizes that improvement is not about circumstances changing, but about personal growth. The word **easier** is contrasted with **better**.