– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

meet the keys dor lives in raan Essex

with her parent Bruce husband Paul and

their two children 12-year-old Natalie

and Kane who's eight meet the Lich

Fields Lisa and Mick live in dagam Essex

with their children Mickey who's six

Melissa 11 and Grant

16 the wives have agreed to swap

partners and homes for 2 weeks to see

what they can learn about their own

lives what happens when one person's

dream is another one's

nightmare I can't stand it here oh I

just can't like it what's it like living

with a man who spends more time in front

of the mirror than with his own family

Perfection I've decided it's like living

with Golden Balls poshing BS I can't

[ __ ] stand it in here and how do you

cope when tempers reach Breaking Point

don't shout at me when you [ __ ] take

back watch everything that you said

against my wife and me now and what

happens when the temptation to go home

becomes too great to resist it's over go

over no I won't let me in my ass let me

in my ass

[Music]

mom Dawn Keys lives in Ry Essex in her

dream home with her dream lifestyle I

could be without money definitely not

cuz we do live a nice life Dawn's a kept

woman she never works doesn't pay the

bills and doesn't even have a bank

account she relies entirely on husband

Paul for support anything I've always

wanted in life I've been very lucky that

I've I've got because Paul's gone out to

work and I've been very lucky to have

what I have in my life despite not

contributing financially Dawn still

spends hundreds of pounds on her

designer wardrobe I love wearing nice

clothes clothes it's got to be we're

both P into a clob yeah I love fashion

shoes as well boots

Bo love boots dor also likes her kids to

follow the latest fashions 7-year-old

Kane and 10-year-old Natalie are

regularly spruced up for family outings

but by far the vinest member of the

household is husband Paul he spends a

lot of time on himself he's more like a

woman it's more like living with another

woman but pop I have to do everything

and he

doesn't once every 4 weeks I the top

half my whole top half of my body

waxed every two weeks me eyebrows waxed

nails and manicured me feet pedicured

all right if you could just do the

normal girls Tiding your nails up

probably go on to Sun bed once a week

it's worse than a woman I a male T I

don't even have that

done I look at people my age

who've got big fat stomachs and stuff

like that and I just look at them and

think I just couldn't be like that at

all I couldn't be with someone like that

definitely not when he's not working out

Paul's earning a sixf figure some

running his own roofing business playing

a round of golf or enjoying a night out

with the

boys lucky sir which doesn't leave much

time for the kids he's never with the

children that much he doesn't spend any

time unfortunately like helping with

homework or even playing with them bar

used to be do mine yeah CU you haven't

got a

brain Paul also refuses to flex his

muscles when it comes to the housework

I'm responsible for the household chores

definitely I've got no household chores

because you're lazy no I'm not lazy am I

I just CU you can't be bothered I don't

get time it's all done for me like I

said before it's all done for me so the

only ass so chores I have really is

running me bath no and not to do that

most of the time for you cleans it out

after as well bless

[Music]

her 20 minutes down the road in dagenham

is the Lichfield home Lisa Lichfield is

an ex bouncer who hasn't worked in over

a year nowadays she's happy to stay at

home and look after her three kids and

husband

[Music]

Mick my relationship with Mick is I'd

say perfect you couldn't get a better a

bloke to be with with soulmates friends

everything Mick Works six days a week

putting up fences and earns around 300s

which doesn't leave much money for

luxuries Mick's a great husband he can't

do enough for me and the kids he's

always happy when we're happy he does

everything he can to ensure that life

runs smoothly we never want for anything

and he's just a great guide to be

with the Lich fields are less interested

in spending money and more content

spending time together as a

family I couldn't want for a better blow

he doesn't mind doing anything to get

his hands dirty with any job in the

house in the garden the cars

everything for Mick and Lisa clothes are

for comfort and beauty is only skin deep

comeing in for me I I a worried about

what clothes I buy or La don't really

bother us at all there some something

looks Clean and Smart whatever it is I

don't care really don't care the only

thing Lisa would change about her life

is her weight but Mick loves her just

the way she is you're a biggish built

person anyway and I like something to

get hold of I don't like the way I look

but he absolutely adores me as I am yeah

you're not fat you're just

cly it's the day of the Swap and the

wives are preparing to leave I didn't

know whether to take anything dressy or

not so I've left that out if we are

going anywhere it just be in trap Bots

unfortunately I'll take this dress and

in case I do go

out so I take something nice and smart

come mommy come on the couples have

agreed to have no contact for the next

two weeks oh see you s bye love

[Music]

you I was just thinking the new woman

walking into my house thinking like it's

a small pokey little hole I mean it's

got a lot to be done to it yet and if

she's going to sort look down her nose

oh God this ain't done and that a ain't

done and she says that to me like when

we meet after the 10 days and just put

her in her

place we not being stack up it looks

slightly rough

[Music]

don't like

it the big yellow house

God oh my [ __ ]

god before they meet their new families

the wives get to explore their new

[Music]

homes is that

them wonder if that's them cuz she's

really they both look like models don't

they if that's them

obviously everyone to their own but this

definitely is not my type of home tell

you what if the woman of all this lot

herself she's absolutely A1 on Decor I

love it her taste is absolutely

brilliant oh my God it's a hole in the

ceiling wow a parrot hello hello hello

no it's Mak me feel sick actually it

smells as well oh my God worst nightmare

he's frightened and I'm

frightened

[Music]

[Applause]

no I'll try their bed out oh my God it's

like it's a wed isn't it I wobble enough

without one of

these oh wow it's really beautiful it's

disgusting I couldn't have my kids

liveing like this no way I too could

live in a house like this just shows you

how the other half lives [ __ ] must

have see me

coming each wife has written a manual as

a guide to running their home Paul

doesn't ever help her around the house

not ever bless Mick isn't bothered by

his appearance oh my God his trousers

have to have a crease down the middle

and his shirts need a crease down the

arm I'm going to ruin his clothes I

usually buy mix and the kiss clothes

from as

and dagum Sunday

market I'm very conscious of my weight

especially leaving with a bodybuilder oh

my God he's going to hate me I don't

think that I'm really slim but I like to

kick to a size 10 you are slim she's too

skinny if we have time we go fishing oh

it boring life a't

it I'm stumped I really am stumped Croy

I need a

drink it's finally time for the wives to

meet their new

families hello stranger H how are you

and you lovey this is uh Natalie you're

Melissa yeah you're Mickey You're Grant

I am and I'm Mick and that's Big Daddy

thank you thanks very much thank you

very much thank you hi babe give a kiss

missing Mommy I bet you are no he's not

and you're D don't to me sorry I didn't

even ask your name sorry all right it's

okay IND dagam mix cooking the family a

meal but wonders if it will be enough to

impress his new wife

Dawn she's she's used to an expensive

lifestyle you can see

that

um whether she was born into it or

married into it or what I couldn't

say but

it's her turn to live the poorer life

shall we

say how the other half

[Music]

live I'd love a Nur like this would you

really my [ __ ] your misses is going to

be so listen long as you re it's clean

and tidy but it's small perfect are you

no just renting at the minute we're

going to

move I mean you got to start somewhere

young you first impressions of Lisa

very nice she's getting on blinding with

her children that makes me feel happy

makes she's made me feel

relaxed uh if it carries on like this

I'll be happy Lisa and Paul are

preparing for an evening out but it

won't be together yeah mate meet up with

all the lads Friday nights slads Night

Out can't wait a babysitter has been

booked and tonight will be a change from

Lisa's traditional Friday night in with

the family Natalie what does mommy

normally wear on a Friday night when she

goes out um you could

wear nice top but not really nice wear

maybe PA might not have any time to

spend on Lisa but he does have money

money get a drink yeah have a nice

evening no problem you have a good time

and you mate see you lat gang be good I

just put 40 quid in my hand for drink so

I'm going to come come back probably

really merry thanks

sweetie so yeah I suppose that's all

mine for the night it didn't ask for any

change

in dagam Dawn tells her new family about

the life she's left behind so you've got

six

horses parrot ferrets rabbit dogs

hamster hamster Budgy

Budgy did you say you had a hamster yeah

no you let me have one cuz you know it

won't get looked after it

will would you like so yeah

with don't even go down that right it

could be in Dawn's rules

oo that Melissa has to have a

hamster

no hello hello I'm Gina hello Gina Lisa

sister-in-law PA sister-in-law okay got

you nice one

has recruited Dawn's sister to entertain

Lisa for the night while he goes out

with the

[Music]

lads despite having spent barely any

time with Lisa Paul's convinced his

charm will make the next two weeks an

easy ride I can meet someone I don't

know and I'll get on with him straight

away y up it's a gift that maybe

someone's given me but I love it cuz

life's short and let's enjoy it I'm not

going to call him lazy cuz he obviously

works hard he's got his own business but

I do think he could do some more around

the house and I think when it's my turn

I'm going to try and change him a little

bit fingers crossed good morning Lisa

and daor have exchanged lives and

families for 2 weeks it's the first full

day of the

swap don't it's time to get out

quiet it's Saturday morning in dagam and

after a troubled sleep Mickey's getting

ready for work I've had about 3 hours

sleep 4 hours

sleep obvious what I was thinking about

there's my

misses but just it's just a little bit

of jealousy knowing that someone else's

husband that's got money is treating my

misses to the life that she's always

wanted while Mick prepares for A Hard

Day's

graft Paul is also setting out to work

on his

tan the sunbed is just part of a regular

beauty regime he believes is well earned

while Paul caters to his complexion his

new wife Lisa is left to take care of

his

house it's her first morning and she's

woken with a long list of chores and a

hangover it was a drinky boozy Friday

night and I don't usually do that a lot

so now i' got a Polish one I'm half cut

but that's all right looking like

crap today Lisa faces a mountain of

tasks including d Ing and polishing at

home she always receives a helping hand

but she's not likely to get any

encouragement from Paul come on show me

where the broom is

Bruce Paul doesn't do anything around

the house which I find totally sort of

like unreal I I thought all men did

something like wash a cup or something

no we're going to have to resarch party

for a broom I think I do not want to

insult Po in any way but I think he does

need to realize that there's more to

life than going to the gym

and snow car and not being very much

around the

house Dawn's used to doing all the

housework herself and in a much larger

home so she gets through Lisa's cleaning

routine in record

[Music]

time all done the whole lot's done the

whole day's work is done it's only 10 12

on the other side of Essex Lisa is

already struggling to keep up with her

heavy

workload after just one M she's already

feeling the strain hello piss

off go away

cat ouch [ __ ] off I first walked in and

my n no impression oh what a lovely ass

it's going to be a pleasure to do a work

in here but how wrong can you be how

wrong can you be B it's not the pets

getting in your way all the time it's

like Paul's routine very [ __ ]

annoying household to live in but the

real dirty work is yet to come there are

three dogs in the keys household and

Paul likes the garden kept clean and

tidy [ __ ] Patrol I don't even know what

to pick it up

with oh there [ __ ] everywhere I I'm he

it already

[Music]

[ __ ] knows that dong does this every day

it's probably why she's so slim if she

heaves like

[Music]

me why can't I have a small garden like

what I've got for [ __ ] sake in the

Lichfield home Mick does the gentlemanly

thing and makes it his job to keep the

garden tidy

got backyard as a

garden and he told me his garden look

like the Chelsea flower

show well how can that look like Chelsea

flower

show you should go down to my

garden that's a Chelsea flower

show

oh well this has been tending his Lawn

Paul has been expanding his

wardrobe nice little Saturday morning

shopping as far as he's concerned all is

as it should

be can you make sure the cat L things

clean yeah cuz it stinks in

there there you go Lord the master thank

you darling no oh look

that if you want it darl oh no I could

eat no more than that I'll have that

later all right mate no props

unlike Paul Mick likes to share his

Hobbies with his wife maggot Jor

maggot this afternoon he's introducing

Dawn to the joys of fishing but mix's

enthusiasm is failing to hook the

interest of his new

wife

no don't even go

there that is one thing I'm not doing

you can say and do what you like I'm not

picking a get

up yeah you're right there won't deny

it but you're supposed to do this yeah

but I'm not going to and there's one

thing I'm not is picking them

up Lisa would normally pick these up and

bait up our own hooks and I'm not having

it I'm not going to allow myself that

stand by picking a magget up and that is

it you call that lowering your lowering

yourself is m i can't do it but then you

have defeated the object well maybe

saying that you are living Lisa's life

cuz you haven't what cuz I Haven picked

a magget up yeah

bollocks Carey don't fall

[Music]

in having finally completed her chores

Paul has given Lisa one last thing to

tidy up her image going to go in see if

we can find a dress or say it for me

like the possibilities of the looks of

the shops down there seems like it's all

skinny girl clothes but you never know

you're like I always say you shouldn't

judge a book by its cover but when it

comes to appearance I think you can

sometimes you look and think Jesus if

that bird dropped a stone put a bit of

decent clobber on and done her face up

nice she would be a bad so tonight Paul

is taking Lisa for a slap up family meal

and has insisted she gets new clothes

she is hopeless she's got no nice CLS to

go she's only B like casual

gear so I said well we can't have that

love you got to get yourself a little

number to go out so I'll give her 60

quid to go and get a s a dress so

hopefully she'll come back with

something nice and uh can make yourself

look

sweet didn't do up prop for nowt that

but I think whil Lisa is finding clothes

shopping and effort Paul is used to is

suffering in the name of

beauty more used to shopping than

fishing on a Saturday afternoon Dawn's

patience is wearing thin I we just got

to sit and white sure

R hello we got a white for as long as it

takes as long as it takes

Dawn's lack of enthusiasm for angling is

beginning to get on mixed nerves I've

been sitting watching you and you

haven't looked at that once you've been

looking over there I've looked at it

you're showing no interest

whatsoever no how many times have I

asked you about all your bits and Bobs

and that I'm asking you're asking out of

the sake of asking no I'm not because

I'm asking you're asking for the sake of

asking you're not asking cuz you're

genuine in future you're not asking cuz

you're genuinely interested you're

asking for the sake of it that's how it

feels

bollocks in Ry the keys family are

preparing to go out for a

meal but while Paul enjoys sprucing

himself up Lisa is worried she can't

measure up to Dawn's well-groomed

image there's pictures of him everywhere

in his ass you know there's like a

shrine to the polished couple the

groomed

people me when they're so perfect

themselves even if they don't put the

pressure on the pressure's there

mentally anyway you don't want your

husband looking better than you or you

don't want your husband to feel that

you're a

slob at home I can quite safely

stay in the same clothes all day

tracksuits or whatever and he still come

home and want to Ravish

me the Lichfield Saturday night is

almost always spent together at

home she's out of the family having a

good drink that's my Saturday night I've

never once sat down like sat and just

sat here and I'm like ooh you know what

I mean I feel like yeah not being

horrible to you but I feel like just I

got to get out Lisa dreams about having

a nice big home we all dream about that

Lisa is now living her dream she's got

the nice house she's got everything

she's got the High Life yeah and good

luck to her she's enjoying herself good

luck to her yes I'd be lying if I said I

wasn't

jealous right because well I'm bloody

jealous cuz she's got my life at the

moment you know what I mean you can't

now living Dawn's lifestyle Lisa is

about to be whined and dined at Paul's

favorite restaurant I you I

youa come everybody's watching

now while Lisa is struggling to master

the Fine Art of Chopsticks her husband

Mick is finding it hard to contain his

Envy she said oh Lisa's a could to be

out with my husband now and she'll be

whined and DED and they'll be drinking

champagne well that

hurts it's that's like having someone

put her hand in your chest and ripping

your heart out it's like a a a cancer

eating away from inside out and it and

it really

hurts that knowing her husband's giv the

things that I

can't it really does hurt

desperate for a shoulder to cry on Mick

has decided to open up to Dawn what here

we

go you

know that Lisa and Michelle are in deep

yeah yeah with one

another some of the things that you're

saying things like you said like oh Lisa

or Mommy's going to be taken out for

dinner and she's going to be drinking

this and she's going to be that is

hurting me is it yeah

um but you know you know why

listen can you

imagine how I'm feeling that your

husband is giving her the things that I

can't I definitely do I do understand

what you're saying I I say it and I know

that you would love to give her that

you'd love to give her that dream but I

know I can't but you never know what's

around the

corner he's a bit of a quiet baby he's

admitted it anyway I don't

care

um my pole ain't I realized my Po's a

proper keer he ain't no bleeding woy

like him next

door it's Sunday morning and after yet

another night out Lisa's opted for a

lion and is neglecting her household

chores

obviously we were had a late night had a

drink in

it it's 7:00

[Music]

7:30 D would have been up clearing the

ass whilst Lisa sleeps in standards are

dropping and Paul's frustration is

running

High maybe other people live like this I

don't know I really don't know but it

ain't my [ __ ] cupy police is in bed

well what can we do about

that listen I'm not knocking girl cuz

she's a lovely person but she just can't

end it here no

way twice a day look that ain't been

clean for [ __ ] 3 days or two days

smell it is [ __ ]

stinks tell you what F can imagine

sitting there not big ass try can a bit

see this there like she's worth her

weight in

gold this is not how I

live and she's upstairs a

kip calm keep calm

son keep

calm in dagam Dawn's been up for 2 hours

Mick's gone fishing and the kids are

going out so she's on her own with

nothing to do see see you later bye I

can't stand it here it's just nothing to

do here like I'm used to doing things

all the time like I'm a bit like a robot

I'm not used to lying cuz I know I got

go out and get get things done or do the

animals you know I do mat chores but

because I'm doing them quicker than Lisa

you know got nothing else to do where

like she drags out through the day and I

don't I like to get things done I like

things

[Music]

tidy Lisa is supposed to be cooking

Sunday dinner but having had a l in

she's already behind schedule

Paul if say like for some reason the

dinner's not going to be ready what you

would you go out and get something or

what or it when you come in cuz at the

minute I ain't got a baking tray I don't

there's none in

there I mean what's a baking tray one

them black

[Music]

things SW there was a backing TR

somewhere I my M won't let me

down

it all cleaned ready all Ed

spotless things have got to change I

mean I you know like he's going he's

he's off the golf there the ass is just

left as it is he comes back the dinner's

got to be at a certain time and he's

going [ __ ] football well tell you

what it's a load of crap in bollocks

that man's got to [ __ ] do something

else

l l

love hello there's five baking trays in

the oven

all right [ __ ] off for five minutes with

you leave me

alone [ __ ]

s i spr

that's come on

daring roll on my rules it's all I can

[ __ ] say he ain't going [ __ ]

nowhere on my

rules it's not just the lichfield's

house that's getting Dawn down she's got

a few Choice words for the rest of the

neighborhood that look [ __ ] all around

here [ __ ] rubbish in the front

Gardens so [ __ ] untiy [ __ ] rabbish

bins on the

pavement right rough

joint I'm not stuck up but [ __ ] hell

I couldn't live around here I want to go

back to my fairy

tale I wonder how Po's getting on with

big

mother she's living a life of [ __ ]

Riley back at

mine as his home quickly descends into

chaos Paul is forced to attempt an

approach he's never tried before

cleaning the house

himself hello do you know when Mommy

keeps a bin

bags even the children are beginning to

notice the drop in

standards I'm SI it's just that she

doesn't do everything that Mom does

properly it's messie

look and then she hasn't taken the plug

out the bar from last night no can you

smell cat's

piss it [ __ ] H reachs he's like jaal

anoid ah babe blah blah blah you want

this you want that and treat you like a

little princess but if something don't

go his way bang

wallet ah [ __ ] this blah blah blah blah

blah talks like right he talks like G

boy he's got money where's his [ __ ]

class to go with it and to add to Paul's

troubles last night a fox got into the

bins and scattered rubbish everywhere oh

for [ __ ]

sake [ __ ] give

up I don't I don't understand why he's

moaning about picking up a bit of

rubbish on his own

property what did you want me to do it

with the first week coming to an end the

visiting wives are about to change the

rules and impose their lifestyles on

their new homes but I

think I should go and buy him off the

pig cheap t-shirt and track bottoms to

go out with me and the kids on Saturday

at his clothes are his front it's vanity

I'm inside my clothes my clothes are not

me whilst Lisa has had enough of poor

dressing up dor believes it's high time

Mick stop dressing down he lives in

these sorts of

things that like 80s look at

that it's like a football hooligan shirt

is it he's not even into footb he's into

fishing X exale that'll fit him I've

just got him a load of sets of clothes

for next to nothing he'd spend more on a

meal than what I've paid here you know

have a nice day dawn has decided Melissa

needs more responsibility and bite mix's

clear warning is buying her a hamster Mi

probably might not like it besid luck um

the house rules are changed it's my turn

now Paul feels Lisa hasn't lived by

Dawn's rules but he's determined to do

whatever it takes to stick to

hers if it's going to be the case that

she's setting me a task i't botling out

of nothing and I will go for everything

and I will give everything the best shot

like I don't care if I've got to go and

I don't know cut the grass or dig the

lawn or I don't know go and pick the

[ __ ] up things she's got to give me more

tasks than that because I do

[Music]

it po Keys makeup see these trainers I

would even bought these for myself

they're the nastiest selection as

thee what we're going to do kids yeah is

cover up the mirrors to stop your dead

posing so

much but Paul's day at the gym has left

him cool calm and

collected still look good in

there still look good in there for

Dawn's rule changes micke is trying to

lighten the atmosphere and make makes a

special effort to dress up for the

occasion this is just a little little

joke between the the kids and myself

against Dawn um s light-hearted b but

she seems to think I'm a bit Rough and

Ready so I thought I'd dress up for her

[Music]

tonight hi do hello are you look lovely

doesn't he look nice I heard a rumor

that you like a good appear and just not

no no no no no I heard the rumor that

you seem to think that I was like a bit

rough and never dressed up so tonight I

thought I'd I'd make the effort for you

darling G you can sit down all right

lovely cross dresser that's what I like

to say Paul has been wearing the

trousers all week now it's Lisa's chance

to turn the tables yeah you in a good

mood good

boy anything at all me anything

[Music]

these are my new house rolls

Mick needs to be a bit more of a man

than a

woman and to face up to your

emotions uh focusing too much on your

appearance and Van is too expensive I

want to see how you look in ordinary

cheap clothes can you be the same person

or are you all from every day as soon as

you come home from work you will go

straight up

stairs and changing to some smart casual

clothes I've got your a new outfit or

two yeah I've seen them they're quite

nice as it I don't mind them right

Melissa I've bought you a present from

myself you can name it whatever you like

its middle name is Dawn so you can

remember

me okay I'm going to go and get

it but don't let me down

and believe me if this is what I think

it is it's going straight back out yes

it is Melissa Melissa right now you can

take that back out there you

go all right now I said

no don't worry don't worry don't

worry and you need to pamper your wife

so for the rest of the week you can cook

dinner right I'll give it a world I

thought you was going to freak at me no

I'll give well what you come on we can

do it it's a big dodgy is cooking dinner

well what you get is what you get you

should have had a g me

mate i' have had a g f honestly don't

know what you could have told me that

could have made you fre because I'll try

anything bless him SM me in love

not look blads look what I got to

wear it's quality

they even smell

minky here we have Paul Key's M model in

the CNA

gear get me a bag come on shovel let's

get the dog [ __ ]

out I'll tell you

what what they that down the side all I

he over less than that don't do that to

me I

know turn that down we don't want that

cooking too

quick to Lisa's dismay Paul is still

refusing to show any reaction to her

rule changes I'll tell you what if she

ain't got diarhea T night well she be

squirting like a cow

mate he reacted like Jack the L to look

good and come across like Mr Nice

Guy I'll do that I'll give it a go Bob

shle but he is

annoyed smell

bad you know most of the best cooks in

the world well the best cooks are in the

world

amen if I could if I would have decided

that I wanted to be a chef when I was

younger I'd have probably been a Top

Chef

by you find things in dagam the r over

Mel's hamster is reaching boiling points

Melissa was told that she couldn't have

a a pet because she wouldn't be

responsible enough yeah if you don't

like it there's the door fine fine with

me fine with me going in you are what

you are as you stand as what a woman

yeah cuz you're not a man is that right

you're not a man I'm more man than you'd

ever know have a look at my husband

that's the man who your who your wife's

with oh yeah

yeah don't argue with me cuz you're

[ __ ] argue with the wrong [ __ ]

person right well you know where the

door is D so please leave my house do

not even say things like my wife's with

your husband because you're stop being

orble to me I can Chuck it I'm not being

horrible D I've taken enough [ __ ] off

you really excuse me have you yeah

because the way you at why don't you

just come what do you mean the way I act

I'm me you're you we're two entirely

different stranger coming into the house

two different PE two different P

bollocks bollocks exactly that's it you

to let her have the ampster yes she can

have the ampster fine end a

story i' like you to try to R my

dear do what you think there you go

Madam blood de I think that's a bigger

one according to Lisa's rules new

husband Paul must cook dinner every

night looks nice pul don't don't pretend

no I'm going to tell you the truth I

will do have a

look oh it's lovely truth no truth is it

all right it is nice I put bit of Apple

in it cuz M always cut a bit Yeah cut

little bits of Apple in it I mean I

could go could have gone a little bit

further put a bit of pepper in it you

pray to yourself though do you feel like

you've achieved like like really good

this mayy SM me they are completely

relax me and made me smell so like if it

happened like once a week M at

darling it's been 4 hours since Dawn

announced her rule changes but the

addition of a hamster to the Lichfield

household has pushed Mick over the edge

bloody H it's a because you went behind

my back on no because they're my roles

and for the next 5 days if you don't

like do what you like with them fine

because you've heard them now yeah that

me I have to live by them no no no I

live by your Lisa's rules though didn't

I cuz I'm Lisa so I put clu you are not

Lisa you are far from Lisa too right

mate I don't want to look like that

excuse me excuse me get out byebye you

wouldn't want to look like that don't

you dare don't you [ __ ] dare cope my

misses off you do not know me you do not

know Lisa right all I was doing is

giving a bit of love to a little

girl and he just fired up I'm Not Lisa

and I don't look like Lisa cuz that's

the whole idea of the wi swap the

opposite we are two opposites need's got

accept

that in Ry Lisa's broken all the wife

swap rules and had a phone conversation

with her son who's told her about the

Ral apparently Golden Lady old dawn has

called him a fairy and he's not a man

and he's scruffy and apparently she

wouldn't want to be me or look anything

like me come on woman take off the mask

take off all that cake cement that's on

your face and be a real bloody woman

anyone can have hair done anyone can

look good even as big as I am all right

you're a superficial [ __ ] I can't stand

[Music]

you while Paul was in bed an outraged

Lisa has packed her bags taken the car

and is making the short journey home

she's obviously gone and obviously now

she's gone it's

over because even if she hadd gone off

for a drive or whatever I can't have

someone who's meant to be looking after

my children as a mother go out in like

1:00 in the morning and just drive

off I could never trust her again

there when Lisa returns home her family

can't quite accept that despite having

thrown Dawn out the swap is over please

what the [ __ ] hell are you doing here

it's over no I won't

let me in my ass let me in my

ass having abandoned the swap after just

5 days the couples are meeting at a

neutral location to discuss what went

wrong either way this is going to be

interesting the first couple of days I

did feel like I was a high opir I forgot

about doing what program he was doing I

thought like where the [ __ ] know is

he and with kids that ate mine at weing

ear a bit more and that really did piss

me off and I did say so that is how we

are that is we are but that did

frustrate me a little bit I mean I was

calling you what Golden Balls quite a

lot when I that was my little way of

sort of like saying Fu you po without

being rude all I can say is to make Dawn

more happier is be more of an ends on

hband and dead as much as you possibly

can manage agree with you because

there's your

princess not flow bracelet totally agree

with you totally agree with yeah what

annoyed me about the rule change is the

bloody amster oh God right it was

something that Lisa and myself had

strictly

forbidden I can't see how a hamster

could have possibly caus all that growth

I feel that you fired up there over such

little things and maybe that could have

all been

prevented yes and no finished everything

and we might have seen a different

change listen I told when I said to you

I am not Lis I am Dawn that is the whole

idea of the Opposites because in all

honesty D that's that's not what you

actually said what you actually said I'm

Not Lisa and I would never want to

[ __ ] look like Lisa was your words oh

I don't remember that I

do when you left I was gutted absolutely

gutted that you never asked me all I

wanted to do after that night I was just

ring you up and apologize because after

I shut my big bloody mouth and stopped

shouting and they told me like blah blah

blah spare the moment isn't it spare the

moment that's what you say spare the

moment sometimes you got to control

yourself being away from Lee absolutely

didn't it yeah what was I like nightmare

it upset me to the point of Tears yeah

yeah I can understand mate I can

understand another man that has got so

much money comfortable money yeah was

giving my wife the things that I can't

give

her but the way you did handle it wasn't

very well no it wasn't it was purely and

solely because of the way Leah himself

live we don't have your lifestyle and

I'll be honest with you and I'll be

frank I wouldn't want it if you're happy

with that lifestyle then you know

good look after see

you in the weeks since the swap have the

couples changed anything about their

lives I was living a really a single

man's life life and I'm really trying

there to be a proper father a proper

husband cuz I took him for granted you

know and that's what I want at her life

you know I want to be a family man cuz I

love myits and they are my

life we've learned a lot by it

definitely you know pulled uses a lot

more around the

house it spends a lot more time with the

family and the children and they've got

their dad back

and that's what we

wanted I do feel more positive about

myself after white swap I'm not so much

of a slob as I was told I was I keep

myself a bit cleaner and tidier now

after work and respect me body so to

speak didn't

I I go to the hairdressers about every 6

weeks or so simply because it makes me

feel fresh and good about

myself since coming back off the swap

the one thing thing I did promise myself

vanity wise is to lose the excess weight

I've always wanted to do it I can do it

I will do

[Music]

it when we're not together it it just

makes you realize how special your

relationship actually is and at the end

of the day money can't buy that I don't

care what anybody says she just can't

buy that

[Music]

[Music]

oh

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
meet /miːt/ A2	verb - to encounter someone for the first time
lives /lɪvz/ A2	verb - to reside in a particular place
parent /ˈpɛərənt/ A2	noun - a mother or father
children /ˈtʃɪldrən/ A2	noun - plural of child
agreed /əˈɡriːd/ B1	verb - to have the same opinion
partners /ˈpɑːrtnərz/ B1	noun - people in a relationship
learn /lɜːrn/ A2	verb - to gain knowledge
dream /driːm/ B1	noun - a cherished aspiration
nightmare /ˈnaɪtmɛər/ B1	noun - a disturbing dream
stand /stænd/ A2	verb - to tolerate
perfection /pərˈfɛkʃən/ B2	noun - the state of being flawless
temptation /tɛmpˈteɪʃən/ B2	noun - the desire to do something wrong
resist /rɪˈzɪst/ B1	verb - to withstand the action or effect of
lifestyle /ˈlaɪfstaɪl/ B1	noun - the way a person lives
luxury /ˈlʌkʃəri/ B2	noun - a state of great comfort
content /kənˈtɛnt/ B1	adjective - in a state of peaceful happiness
vanity /ˈvænɪti/ B2	noun - excessive pride in one's appearance