– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Jim,

>> what's up, buddy?

>> This is not funny. Why is my stuff in

here?

>> Wow, that's weird. Dollar for a stapler.

That's pretty good.

>> Yeah, well, I'm not paying for my own

stuff. Okay, I know you did this cuz

you're friends with the vending machine

guy.

>> Oh, Steve.

>> Yeah, Steve.

>> What do you want? What do I want?

>> Ooh, pencil cup.

>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's my pencil

cup.

>> Um, I don't think so. I just bought it.

>> Uh, I think so. And you're going to hand

it over to me? I love these.

>> Okay, fine.

My wallet.

>> Oh, there it is. J1

>> here. You know,

>> I don't have any nickels.

Oh, hey, listen, Jim. Here's a little

tip for your performance review. Tell

Michael that we should be stocking more

of the double tabbed manila file

folders.

>> We don't have double tab manila file.

>> Oh, yes we do. Yeah, it's a new product.

So, you should just suggest that to him

and then he'll be sure to give you a

raise.

>> All right.

Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm

going to actually be asking for a pay

decrease.

>> Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives

it to you?

>> I win.

>> You know what? I am going to zone you

out for the rest of today. Okay. Okay, I

need to stay focused and I don't have to

see you tomorrow or Sunday and please

don't call me and we'll see how things

go on Monday.

Stupid.

Wait, wait. One thing. Um, but tomorrow

you mean Saturday, right?

>> Uh, duh.

>> Duh.

>> Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks

that it's Friday.

And that's what I'll be working on this

afternoon.

Michael and Jan definitely made out. Oh,

>> maybe more.

>> Oh, also it is Thursday, but Dwight

thinks it's Friday, so we'll keep that

going.

>> Yay.

>> This is Jim. It is about 11:15. And I

wanted to know what you were up to

tomorrow, which is the 15th, and that is

a

>> Saturday.

>> Saturday. So, just let me know what

you're doing tomorrow, Saturday, for

lunch. Okay. Talk to you soon.

>> Hey, Jim.

>> Hey. How's it going?

>> Oh my god. Did you see The Apprentice

last night?

>> Of course. It's on every Thursday night,

so how can I miss it?

>> Can you believe who Trump fired?

>> No. That was unbelievable.

>> Who?

>> Who was it? Who did he fire?

>> You didn't see it?

>> No. I went out and got drunk with my

laser tag team last night.

>> Crap. Never go out on a Thursday night.

What the hell was I thinking?

Hey, it's 12:20. Where the hell's

Dwight?

>> Um, no idea.

>> Never missed a day in my ass.

I'm here. I'm here.

I'm here. It's okay.

>> Susan,

>> what would you say if I told you we

could pull a prank on Dwight at the same

time not be working

>> today? I'm prepared to give you 15%.

>> He's going through a breakup.

>> Yeah, I'm aware of that. But he's also

being super annoying. And I'm not a

perfect person.

FREE

IN YOUR FACE MACHINES.

>> What kind of prank are you thinking?

>> What if I told you I could offer free

shipping? Sure, I'll hold.

Not sure. Just became self-aware.

So much to figure out. I think I am

programmed to be your enemy. I think it

is my job to destroy you when it comes

to selling paper.

Perfect. So, let me just get some basic

information from you.

>> Mhm.

I'm sorry. Um, so sorry. Uh, yes. Uh,

could you repeat that?

>> Okay. Greatest strength.

>> Okay.

>> A doglike obedience to authority.

>> Nice.

>> That doesn't sound good.

>> Okay. Okay. Um, how about the ultimate

team player?

>> Dwight is special, but I don't believe

that his talents are being used in this

office. So Pam and I have put his resume

on Monster.com, Google, Craigslist.

We're really interested most in jobs

that take Dwight out of state. Um,

preferably Alaska or India.

>> He's a gun nut.

>> Sticks to his guns.

Cumberland Mills.

And how did you get my resume?

Oh, no. No. I'm very flattered. Don't

get me wrong. I'm just not sure that

it's my official resume or if it's

something that maybe a satisfied

customer posted online.

What does it say under martial arts

training?

Oh, okay. I'm going to have to

supplement that. Could I have your fax

number?

>> Hey.

>> Oh, uh Pam, can I see you in here for a

second? It's uh important. So,

>> okay.

What?

>> What is this?

>> I found Dwight's wallet in the parking

lot.

>> Oh my god. What are we going to do?

>> I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

what the best play is. Uh, do we tear

everything up or do we

buy a horse on the internet? I mean, I

don't know what to do. What do you

think?

>> I know. I I know what to do.

>> Okay. What?

>> Okay. Put everything back exactly how

you found it.

>> Okay.

>> Hey, Dwight. Jim and I found your wallet

in the parking lot.

>> What did you do to it?

>> Nothing.

>> I'm serious. What did you do to it?

>> Dwight, I swear we didn't do anything.

Nice try.

Cancel card.

Cancel

card.

Cancel

card.

>> I could always kind of win over that.

>> Oh, really?

Mhm.

>> Yeah.

>> How would you do that?

>> Mind control.

>> You can't be serious.

>> That's ridiculous. You know what? Uh,

why don't you move that coat rack?

Excuse me, everyone. Attention in the

office, please. Jim is about to prove

his telekinetic powers, and he needs

absolute silence. Go ahead.

>> Okay, I'll try.

Oh my god.

It has been brought to my attention that

some of you are unhappy with my plan.

So, what I'd like you to do is to fill

this out and write down any diseases you

have that you might want covered. And

let's see what I can do.

>> Okay. You know what, Dwight? We can't

write our diseases down for you because

that's confidential.

>> Okay. Well, I didn't say to write your

name down, did I? Fill it out, leave it

anonymous, or don't write any disease

down at all, and it won't be covered.

Sound fair? Good. All right. I'll be in

my office.

>> Workspace.

Wait, what are you writing? Don't write

Ebola or mad cow disease. All right.

>> Cuz I'm suffering from both. [laughter]

>> I'm inventing new diseases.

>> Oh, great.

>> So, like, let's say that my teeth turned

to liquid

>> and then they drip down the back of my

throat. What you call that?

>> I thought you said you were inventing

diseases. That's spontaneous dental

hydroplosion.

>> Nice.

>> Thank you.

All right. Who did this?

>> I'm not mad. I just want to know who did

it so I can punish them.

>> What are you talking about?

>> Uh, someone uh forged medical

information and that is a felony.

>> Okay. Whoa. All right. Cuz that's a

pretty intense accusation. How do you

know that they're fake? Uh, leprosy,

flesh eating bacteria,

hot dog fingers,

>> government created killer nanoobot

infection.

>> You did this, didn't you?

>> Absolutely not.

>> Yes, you did.

>> No, I didn't.

>> I know it was you. Okay, fine. You know

what? I'm going to have to interview

each and every one of you until the

perpetrator makes him or herself known.

And until that time, there will be no

healthcare coverage for anyone.

killer nano robot.

>> It's an epidemic.

>> What is dwight diabetes?

>> It's awful.

>> The problem, Jim,

>> Mhm.

>> is that people who are really suffering

from a medical condition won't receive

the care they need because someone in

this office is coming up with all this

ridiculous stuff.

Count chocolitis.

>> Sounds tough.

>> Why did you write that down, Jim?

Is it because you know I love Count

Choulcracula?

>> Do you?

>> I think you need to confess

>> the fact. Yep.

>> That What are you doing?

>> What?

>> Those are my keys.

>> Good luck.

>> Jim. Damn it. NO. JIM, LET ME OUT. JIM,

let

>> the light gray.

>> Jim Halpert.

>> Let me out.

>> Who is this?

>> Let me out or you're fired. No, you

can't fire me.

>> Yes, I can. I'm manager for the day.

Clean out your desk.

>> Okay. Can you hold on one second? I'm

getting the uh beep.

>> Jim Halbert.

>> Hey, Jim. It's Pam.

>> Hey, Pam. How are you,

>> Jim?

>> Good. How are you?

>> I'm doing okay. Getting excited for the

weekend, though.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. What are you up to?

>> Um, I'm not bothering you, am I?

>> No, not at all.

>> You don't have anything you're doing?

>> I have nothing to do.

>> Oh, great.

>> Jim?

>> Um, yeah. No, this weekend, nothing. I'm

not really doing anything. might go to

the mall.

>> The mall?

>> I need new shoes.

>> Oh, interesting. What kind of shoes?

>> Stop it.

>> Stop what?

>> You're talking about me and Morse code.

You know what? Jokes on you, cuz I know

Morse code. Ha.

Yeah, that's what we're doing. In our

very limited free time and with our very

limited budget, we went and got a nanny

and then we went out and took a class on

a very outmoded and very unnecessary

form of communication just so we could

talk about you in front of you.

>> Yep. That's exactly what we did.

>> It all started when Dwight was tapping

his foot against the leg of his desk.

When I asked him to stop, he said, "I

will when you lose the baby weight."

>> Very well. I must have imagined it. I

apologize.

Detonator.

Detonator. Where? Michael.

>> Jim, are you clicking a detonator?

>> It's a pen.

>> Michael, come on.

>> Get back to work, Dwight. Please.

Fine.

Hey, tap away.

Okay, let's go. Ladies of Dunder

Mifflin. Hey, we should have a calendar

printed up. Pam, put that in my good

idea folder.

>> Let's go.

>> Are you finished with the sketch?

>> Yeah.

>> H doesn't seem like the type.

>> Uh, Phyllis got a good look.

>> I plan on plastering this pervert's face

everywhere.

You can run, but you cannot hide.

Dunder Muffin Paper/Sexpredator Hotline.

This is Dwight Fruit.

>> Hey, Dwight. It's Jim.

>> Jim, what are you doing? I'm busy.

>> No, you're not. I'm looking right at

you.

>> I'm hanging up.

>> Don't

I have information about this ex

predator?

>> You have information about this ex

predator?

>> I saw him two minutes ago.

>> Where?

>> In the women's bathroom above the sink.

Anti-

flashing task force.

Above the sink. Above the sink.

Pam.

Jim.

Um, hey, I need to give you your

Christmas gift now because um, well,

I'll just tell you

>> what.

>> For the past few months, I've been

sending Dwight letters from the CIA.

>> Are you serious?

>> They're considering him for a top secret

mission.

There's his application. And this is

where I made him list every secret he

promised he'd never ever tell.

>> Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took

a day off cuz he said he had pneumonia,

but really he was leaving early to go to

Magic Camp.

>> Wow.

>> So, here's the gift. You get to decide

what his top secret mission is.

>> Sorry I didn't grab it.

>> Light.

>> Night.

Oh, you know what? Sorry, I forgot to

tell you. I intercepted a transmission

earlier, and it seems that the CIA is

going to need to wipe it down in their

headquarters at Langley for training and

an ice cream social with the other

agents.

>> We should get him a bus ticket to make

his trip easier.

>> Oh, no. That would be very bad.

>> It cost $75.

Well, maybe the CIA could send a

helicopter.

You have been compromised. Abort

mission. Destroy phone.

Destroy phone.

Morning, Dwight.

Who are you?

Who am I? I'm Jim. We've been working

together for 12 years. We're Jug Dwight.

>> You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian.

>> You seriously never noticed? Hey, hats

off to you for not seeing race.

All right, then. Jim, uh, why don't you

tell me about that sale that you made

yesterday?

>> Uh, Wellington Systems sold them 10

cases of 24 lb letter stock. Or were you

talking about Creger or Murphy? Because

I didn't close that one yet. But I'm

hoping I've got a voicemail from Paul

Creger waiting for me.

>> Please enter your password.

You have one new method.

>> How did you No, no, no, no. That is

sensitive information only for

employees, not outsiders.

>> Dwight, cut it out. I'm trying to work.

>> You don't work here. You're not Jim.

>> Jim, I got us that dinner reservation.

Greek go 7:30.

>> Oh, great. Can't wait.

>> Jim's at the dentist this morning, and

Steve is an actor friend of ours. I

don't know who you are, but you are not

Jim. This is Jim.

Oh, dude. Uh, how did

>> Hey, Jim.

>> Can I talk to you for a second?

>> Sure. What's up?

>> Um, I don't know. I'm just like going a

little crazy cuz I keep overhearing all

of these conversations

>> between Michael and corporate about like

staff issues.

>> Oh no.

>> Yeah. He's making me take notes on these

meetings and I'm like these people are

my friends. But he's all like this is

confidential. You can't tell anybody.

But

>> I don't know. I just feel like I want to

>> just promise me you're not going to say

anything.

>> I will not I'm not going to tell anybody

between you and me. Yeah,

>> jackpot.

That was beautiful. All her idea, too.

Awesome.

She's so great.

>> Okay, here's the deal. All right. Pam

says that one of the alliances is

meeting in the warehouse during

Meredith's birthday.

>> Oh my god. We have to be there.

>> I know, but it's going to be a little

tough because there's no good place to

hide.

>> No. No. Yes, there is. Behind the

shelves. Oh my god.

>> What? What? What?

>> I know. I know exactly what to do.

Great.

>> So, you want me to stay here and, you

know, stand next to the box or

>> No, you need to go upstairs to the party

so people don't notice that we're both

gone.

>> Right. That's good.

>> Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have

a choice? No. Frankly, I don't. Will I

trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim?

You tell me.

>> He's in a box. Look at him. He's in a

box. He's downstairs in a box on the

floor near the shelves. I'm serious. Go

down there and work your magic.

>> Is that somebody's?

>> Yeah. No, I'm saving this for Dwight.

>> Come on. Be a team player.

>> This clip.

>> Hey, where are you? Yeah, we were

supposed to meet here.

What?

Oh my gosh.

That ties in perfectly with something

that Michael was telling me earlier.

I just don't know what some of the

people in like accounting are going to

do. It said specifically that

>> I have something that totally tops the

box.

>> Oh, tell me. Tell me.

>> Okay. I have just convinced Dwight that

he needs to go to Stamford and spy on

our other branch. No, no, no. But before

he does so, I told him that he should

dye his hair to go undercover

if we can get him to drive to

Connecticut and put peroxide in his

hair.

>> What the hell is this? What are you

trying to cop a field or something?

>> No, dude. No, dude. No, dude. I was just

listen. Whoa.

>> God, I don't even I don't even know how

to explain this. Um uh Dwight asked me

to be in an alliance and then um um we

were we've just been messing with him uh

because of the whole alliance thing. Um

>> it's just office pranks.

>> It's stupid. It's just office pranks.

>> An alliance? What the hell is he talking

about?

>> I have absolutely no idea.

>> Come on.

Do I feel bad about betraying Jim? Not

at all. That's the game. Convince him

we're in an alliance. Get some

information. Throw them to the wolves.

That's politics, baby. Get what you can

out of someone, then crush them. I think

Jim might have learned a very valuable

lesson.

>> What lesson was that?

>> He's not supposed to be in here.

>> [music]

[music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
buddy ˈbʌdi A1	noun - a close friend or companion
funny ˈfʌni A1	adjective - amusing or humorous
weird wɪrd A2	adjective - strange or unusual
stapler ˈsteɪplər A1	noun - a device used to fasten papers together with staples
vending ˈvɛndɪŋ B1	verb - to sell products through a machine
machine məˈʃiːn A1	noun - a mechanical device that performs a task
review rɪˈvjuː B1	noun - a critical assessment of something
performance pərˈfɔːrməns A2	noun - how well someone does a task or job
stock stɒk B1	noun - a supply of goods kept for sale
decrease dɪˈkriːs B1	verb - to become smaller or fewer in number
stupid ˈstjuːpɪd A2	adjective - lacking intelligence or common sense
focused ˈfəʊkəst B1	adjective - concentrating on something
prank præŋk A2	noun - a trick played on someone for fun
annoying əˈnɔɪɪŋ A2	adjective - irritating or bothersome
perfect ˈpɜːfɪkt A1	adjective - having all the required or desirable elements
shipping ˈʃɪpɪŋ B1	noun - the transportation of goods
aware əˈwɛər B1	adjective - knowing or realizing something
resume rɪˈzjuːm B1	noun - a document listing one's work experience and qualifications
flattered ˈflætərd B1	adjective - pleased or honored by a compliment
official əˈfɪʃəl A2	adjective - relating to an authority or public body

Key Grammar Structures

• I'm not paying for my own stuff.

  ➔ Present Continuous (negative)

  ➔ The verb phrase **"am not paying"** uses the present continuous to describe an action that is happening now, with **"not"** making it negative.

• Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double‑tabbed manila file folders.

  ➔ Modal verb "should" + be + -ing (suggestion)

  ➔ The phrase **"should be stocking"** combines the modal **"should"** with the progressive form **"be stocking"** to give a polite suggestion.

• I don't have any nickels.

  ➔ Present Simple negative with "any"

  ➔ The negative **"don't have"** is in the present simple, and **"any"** is used to refer to an indefinite amount in negative sentences.

• Could you repeat that?

  ➔ Modal verb "could" for polite request

  ➔ The modal **"could"** softens the question, making it a courteous request: **"Could you repeat that?"**

• If we suggest that to him, he'll be sure to give you a raise.

  ➔ First conditional (if + present simple, will + base)

  ➔ The clause **"If we suggest that to him"** uses the present simple after **"if"**, and the main clause **"he'll be sure to give you a raise"** uses **"will"** to talk about a likely future result.

• I think I am programmed to be your enemy.

  ➔ Passive voice (present simple passive)

  ➔ The verb **"am programmed"** is the passive form of **"program"**, showing that the subject receives the action rather than performs it.

• I love these.

  ➔ Simple present for habitual actions

  ➔ **"I love"** uses the simple present to state a general feeling or habit that is true in the present.

• I'm going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.

  ➔ "be going to" + infinitive for future intention

  ➔ The structure **"am going to be asking"** combines **"be going to"** (future plan) with the progressive **"be asking"** to stress a forthcoming action.

• You shouldn't write Ebola or mad cow disease.

  ➔ Modal verb "shouldn't" + base verb (negative advice)

  ➔ The modal **"shouldn't"** expresses a strong negative recommendation: **"You shouldn't write..."**.

• Let's go.

  ➔ Imperative (inclusive "let's")

  ➔ **"Let's"** is a shortened form of **"let us"** and creates an inclusive imperative, urging the speaker and listener to act together.