– Bilingual Lyrics Chinese/English

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Hello.

I...

Hello, my name is Liu Zheng.

I've been talking about one-sided comedy for ten years.

Yes.

But this is my

first time

a one-sided comedy show. To

be honest, I'm very pour

s

.

director told us

Mr. Liu, remember the process.

When you go on stage,

Go away from your leader.

Hug your teammates.

Everyone.

Guys.

Two.

This is my teammates'

of teammates. that my face

...

...

...

...

...

...

I look really ugly on camera.

[

He's handsome.]

It's ugly.

This

is the ugly part.

You can see that this face is square

.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

​

​

​

​

​

​

​stuck,

Just like that.

When I came here, the crew asked me

Because the crew knew

with Zhou Qimo.

So the crew asked

how you treat Zhou Qimo.

Is

he the best friend

in this circle

?

Every

We went on stage together.

Back in Beijing,

we rode a shared bike

in a shared bike.

Sometimes

,

experienced something together.

Whoever

can make it a joke

depends on who gets the

shared bike first.

should ask me

The best friend in this circle

That could be

shared bike.

I...

I really like sharing bicycles.

Everyone. I even got a bike card.

I do

n't

know if you've ever had one.

(Yes.)

I dicot w . my car and needed to pay.

That app told me

not to pay.

You only need to spend 16.5 yuan

to get a bike card.

It's free for 30 days. Just ride it.

You

have no idea

how casual I am

. card.

Which brand did you sign?

This brand disappeared

from this city.

No.

I got a ride card for a group.

When I went out,

there was no yellow car.

I said it was just now.

It

's yellow. orling

yellowre

. the door.

Did you do it?

Yes. green.

...

Make it green.

It's too late.

Hug a blue car.

Hwang Ga-ram is green.

Hold him there.

I

didn't expect

I would be stuck I

will be stuckt

I

.

not showing off my wealth.

I'm sharing my bicycle freedom.

What do I want to ride?

What shared bike?

I got a card. I changed.

My soul was kidnapped by capital.

I'm. I'm going soul was kidnapped by capital. I'm...

I'm going outul was kipike by capital. matter how far the destination is,

...

...

...

...

...

...

I walk to my destination.

I don't think

I got a gym card.

Sometimes,

when you see someone

you see someone

riding a yellow shared bike

in front of you.

Sorrow comes from it

I don't know when I'll cry.

at him and say,

Why?

ust one stan ygothing the you or say, Why? one say, Whyf you say, Why?ygo say, Why?ygo say, Why?ygo

saym, Why?ygo saym, Why?ygo saym, Why?ygo s , Why?ygo s , Why?ygo s , Why?ygo saym, Why?

yougo s , Why?ygo saym, Why?yougo s , Why?ygo ygothing . have now

is mine.

This is my attitude towards Zhou Qimo.

Just kidding.

That's how a single-mouthed comedian is.

We'll say this

to be funny.

And...

Just kidding.

We're very close.

Because if you . you?

...

...

...

You can't win him back.

Sometimes,

Everyone, there's a situation.

you saw

a shared bike sawpark a ellowy

You sawparkal car sawation.

want to ride?

(Yes)

Of course.

It's even cheaper for capital.

I'll ride it.

I can ride 100 meters slowly.

I wasn't riding the bike along the way.

I was looking at this car.

Slowins

the s sl.

that

Spread your hands when you turn.

Soul riding.

After that,

I was so excited that I couldn't let go.

Lock the car.

No parking.

We have to search the nearest parking point.

Search.

It's that place.

Noweon

search the nearest parking No. to the destination.

...

Nothing.

This shared bike is a test drive.

Sometimes it really locks a car.

I don't want to leave.

I

look

back step by step.

Because you don't know

in this life. a yellow shared Iike

. looks at you.

You don't talk, it doesn't talk.

Then one second,

you thought you had to leave.

Go ahead.

Let's go.

It said

Where are you going?

I'm going to work.

Can you not Where are you going?

I

'm

going to work. Can

you not work.

think too much.

Although

the shared bike we can scan

More and more.

More and less.

Let's start over.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

Just now.

Although we can scan the shared bike now

are getting less and less.

...

...

...

to catch up with the show.

Thank you, I'm Liu Zheng.

Thank you.

Hello everyone.

I'm Liu Yang.

The troublemaker's parents are here.

Many

actors said they wanted to see my son. For the past two years, I've been participating in shows

...

...

...

...

...

and the label

I 've gotten most often

is being intense.

I am indeed very busy,

my schedule isfried ionedule

,

Readeed. sent him

my calendar.

He asked if this was for a week,

and I told him it was just for Monday.

It's extremely tight.

Everyone around me is more relaxed than I am,

even my dad is

morel back

relaxed than I am.

About my name,

my father named me,

with this character 'Yang'.

This character 'Yang'

means sunny day.

Some people hear this and say,

what a beautiful meaning,

does it represent

your father's wonderful expectations for you?

Actually, no,

because this character

was a mistake made by the registration officer.

At most, it represents the registration officer's

good wally for sost, charadresents the registration officer's good wally

was ose. (杨).

It comes from 'The Return' poem,

'The boat floats lightly in the distance.'

It means

free-spirited.

The registration officer made a mistake.

And my dad just accepted it.

So you can sade a mistake. And my dad just accepted it. So you can sade a mistake

. not fussy.

My dad should be the one named Liu Yang (杨).

I'm so busy,

I should be called Liu Mang (Busy).

Even my fans are more relaxed than I am,

which I really can't understand.

Recently, someft

,

n me.

He said this was

the least funny thing he'd ever seen.

More than 20 of my fans

rushed to that post

and under his comment,

they posted

links to my Spring Festival Gala performance.

They even tagged him specific,

saymy Spring

Festival

my fans upgrade it to a nuclear bomb.

Participating in this show is also

like joining various variety shows,

where I get criticized for not being relaxed.

Last year,

I won the champion shipon 'Comampion

sh

. speech

and was too choked up to speak.

A comment floated by saying,

'If he were more relaxed,

he could achieve even better results.'

I

already won first place, man! What

it

be

b

when I was on this show,

there was a scene

where I was writing jokes for the show,

doing nothing else,

just writing jokes.

Then a bunch of comments floated by saying,

"Liu Yang is just too uptight." ome on conled reled relstal

relo

upt up.

I'm not writing anymore.

The director said, "Go on stage and tell jokes."

I said, "I won't.

I'll just stand there on stage,

super relaxed."

I'll go on stage, wave my hands, super relaxed."

I 'll go on stage, wave my hands,

go on stage and do performance art.

After I get on stage, I'll say, "Hello everyone,

actually today I'm here to give you all

New Year's greetings!" "Firecrackers bid farea to the old pay, Snowf coeveral, the old spas

...

, s

​​ly the old slweents sthr

. audience member

will make a fortune!"

Your cheers are making me reflect.

I should have performed this at the Spring Festival Gala!

Anyway, I started

learning how to be relaxed

. Started

learning

to be relaxed tense.

I found a tutorial

called

"Easily Achieve a Sense of Relaxation,

Just Need to Complete

These 21 Things Every Day."

I need to speak quickly today

because I still have 16 things left to do.

...

...

...

...

...

to show how effortless they are.

There's this one relaxation influencer,

all of his videos are just

him playing golf, horseback riding, rink, os are

just him

playing golf, horseback riding, rinkse, os are justing the playing riding, horseback riding, rink, playing riding, horseback riding, rink ,

playing "relaxing" activities,

his WeChat step count is at least

20,000 steps,

48,000 if he doesn't ride horses.

Even...

At the end of each video,

he even shouts,

saying "True relaxation is understanding

that there's nothing you must do."

This supposedly relaxed influencer

posts daily.

Isn't that something he sooo at sooo s s

daily. Isn't that

something he svid svid the s , hvid s , a something he , do.

"Friends, give please me a like."

I never like his posts

because there's nothing

I must do.

There's an influencer...

There's a relaxation influencer

whose video with over 10,000 likes

is about hisencer whose video with over 10,000 likes is about

his is.com real

?

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​searching for travel tips,

I knew something was off

when one guide warned,

"Be extremely careful,

theft in Spain,

robbery in France."

I wondered if these were special tourist attractions.

After arriving, oura saidsaidsaids resriving, phrase arrivings, phrase armeraidsaids t arrivings,

phrase real theft,

you must experience

the craftsmanship of old Spain."

Spain's reputation for pickpocketing is well-deserved.

On my first day there,

my

portable

WiFi was stolen

. post

saying "Warning:

In Spain,

these ten items are most likely to be stolen."

I thought, I better check this out quickly,

but suddenly I

could

n't open

a summer afternoon

...

lying on Spanish grass

for an entire day.

Impossible!

You can't possibly lie there,

it's too hot.

The city I visited

could reach temperatures of 45 degrees.

Do

you know 45 degre

gre someone walking their dog,

and the dog was hopping along.

I wondered if

it was actually a kangaroo.

Visiting Spain,

I was hot as hell.

And 45 degrees wasn't even the worst part. The as hell. And 45 degrees wasn't even the worst part.

The scariest to

sh ;

weather forecast would never go above 45 degrees.

In other words,

no matter how hot it actually was outside,

if you checked the forecast,

it would say 45 degrees.

It was so hot outside

that an old say 45 degrees.

It was

so hot

outside that an old man mot. If

an old man can catch fire at 45 degrees,

he

must have

had

a

very

罗down briefly,

or you lie down forever.

You might plan to rest briefly,

but end up staying forever,

lying next to the white phosphorus grandpa,

getting instantly cremated.

Without a trace.

Later I asked a howfri, instantly cremated.

Without a

trace

.

"Look at Su Shi."

He was demoted multiple times in his life

but he didn't care at all

and continued his lavish spending

buying 300 lychees to eat every day.

It's because he was relaxed

I said said 'Thats, said, quarts was relout quartsaidsaid quarts sadly, quetsaids, quartsh

. Su Dongpo.'

Everyone, only after reading the book carefully did I realize

let me share some knowledge with you.

Su Shi, who supposedly didn't care at all

about being demoted,

wrote nearly 200 poems after his first demotion to Huangzhou

just to express

how much

he did

n't

care about being demoer

. many times?

Maybe he just wanted more content.'

The Emperor asks, 'Is Su Shi still writing?'

'No, he's not.'

'Demote him to Hainan then.'

Then later I thought,

if I really can't lsom the

In .

shouldn't care so much about

what others think.

Think about my idol, Van Gogh.

He also endured

endless criticism and attacks throughout his life,

but he

didn't red at all because

when people sp is people sph

.

but not with his left.

But in my process of learning to be relaxed,

I really learned something

that I want to share with everyone.

I

think

true relaxation

is having

the freedom to choose your own lifestyle

on

life

. about it,

Van Gogh too,

it was because

he freely chose his own lifestyle

that he ultimately became Van Gogh.

So today,

I want to openly admit

that the reason I am Liu Yang as I am now everyone isholdcise that the reason

I

am

Liu Liu Yang who will never learn to relax.

Thank you.

Hello, I'm

...

...

...

...

...

...

called

'Am I the Only One Who Feels Offended?'

And then.

But honestly, I got many more opportunities.

So many opportunities that

now I can even act

in

some

TV shows and movies.

A

while ago, I even fared in a them

. my role

was really too small.

The role was so small that,

let me put it this way,

if you

want to see

my character in the theater,

I'd have to go with you.

I'd sit next to you

and when the moment

or

. character,

that's how small it was.

But Honestly,

these opportunities are very rare.

But I'm the kind of person who,

whenever an opportunity is rare,

I feel unworthy of

it

.

anything.

I was afraid that if I did anything,

they would replace me.

I even,

I'm not kidding, really,

I didn't even dare to eat.

The

staff said,

Mr. Liu, please have some lunch

.

say, 'This actor is actually eating?'

Get rid of him immediately

and bring someone without a mouth instead.'

I was extremely nervous

especially

when I saw that microphone.

My first time filming

they sabout sawics they

allk film they ​​hk film they sow filers they all pow filers they all

res stressful.

It wasn't for any other reason

it was because it was too far away from me.

I kept thinking, with the mic so far away

if my lines weren't picked up

they'd th place it was my fault placeas they'd th place it was thault

splace .

thought was

that while filming

I should try to stay as close to it as possible.

So whenever I spoke, I'd be like

'What are you trying to do?'

And then they'd say

'What are you doing?

Suddenly wanting to kiss me?' That's what they thought.

But sometimes

the mostress parttime part's that they thought. But sometimes the mostm parttimes the mostress the party thatm

sometimes the mostm

parttimes the mostress party thought. skin.

It sticks right on your skin

which was really stressful

because I sweat a lot.

So the mic wouldn't stay attached at all

because I sweat so much.

Of course, it's not my fault

it's my genes to blame

because my surname is Liu

and the dynasty when the Lius were emperors was

the Han Dynasty.

What does that mean?

Sweaty and damp.

Whenever they attached the mic

as soon as it was on my body

it would slide down to my belly as it was on

my body it would slide down to my belly sdr

opimty

sdrect

we've heard enough from the mouth

let's hear

what the belly button has to say.'

And it would fall down every single time.

How did I discover this?

It was the director

after shooting

a few takes

he came

to meter

expressions and movements are perfect

but if

you have any issues with our script

could you please discuss it with us?

Don't just delete lines.'

I said, 'Am I crazy?

I only have three lines in to I craee line an crazys? I only have three lines in to I craee lines mest craee lines to I

craee

) something?

Fine, I'll explain.

...

...

oh my goodness, everyone.

I didn't just delete lines

I was making strange noises too.

When the mic slips down

my voice start strange noises too.

When the mic

s . silence boxed lunch

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

I almost got a boxed lunch

Then I told the sound engineer

I said, 'Teacher

can you help me fix this

what should I do about it constantly fall downs wve' The Lius

, wve's wvedly falls,

wve '

something good for you'

'This is really strong'

I said, 'I'm not touching anything strong

I just entered the film industry

trying to ruin my career?'

'Don't think because I'm from stand-up comedive

that Ileution ​​hrem from stand

- up comedive that

Ileution'm has lead-up-upal'm

lead said, 'No

this is a chest strap

it holds really tight'

I said, 'Speak clearly

how many years would that get you?'

So anyway

what is this chest strap? Wells

, everyone, it's So anyway what is this chest strap? Wells,

,

it 's

tightly around your chest

and fastens securely

It holds the mic

directly clipped to the chest strap

no matter how much you sweat

I said, 'That's amazing'

He said, 'What's even b said, 'That's amazing' He said, 'What's even b is in the Iire on saids're on sh s in

the

Ile

see better make good use of it

The next day

with my

lines

I

gave

the

dir

?

very good

your expressions and movements were on point

your lines were especially clear

but...'

'If you want to change the character's personality

could you please discuss it with us first

instead of ma suchd

bold Id

said, No ;

'Didn't you turn him into

a complete pervert?'

I said, 'No, Director

I don't understand

I come here

and either I'm cutting lines to even numbers

or turning characters into perpers line I even numbers or turning characters into perpers aid ama someinds aidsd,

the

mkd

. playback'

When I watched the playback

Everyone,

I'm such a weirdo.

I'm such a weirdo.

Everyone, but here's the thing.

I didn't start out being weird,

it was a gradg cess.

Howd

out

cess .

muscles in the morning

are pumped with blood,

very full and defined.

So the chest strap comes here,

bam, and gets really tight.

I don't

even need

to tighten the mic,

I just use my pecs,

bam, andclamp

itfulls

. pecs is harder

than seeing my character on screen.

Anyway, in the morning

it's extremely tight,

but as

the muscle pump subsides,

my muscles shrink back a bit.

So my chest strap

starts to my muscles shrink back a bit.

So my chest strap starts

to my muscles backslips 3', est strap fall completely,

it just slips a bit.

So I noticed in playbacks

when I'm saying my lines,

I have these unconscious movements.

When I deliver my lines, I'm like,

'Why doyou look sow you look thingre , thingis's can

you look 5ook you l

me in the eye?

I mean, this is really hard to look at.

And the key thing is I can't

explain it to everyone

because I'm the only one in the crew who has it.

I can't just say before

shet say

before

mic.'

People would just say,

'Teacher Liu calls his bra

Mike.'

Not only wearing women's underwear,

but naming the underwear,

and giving it a man's name.

Mike.

At least call it

Michelle

. time.

I told the sound engineer,

I said, 'Teacher,

look at this Michelle problem,

can you fix it?'

The sound engineer said,

'I really can't do anything,

let's just leave said, 'I really can't do anything, let's just leave ity mot can't like y ll fm un​​ywem scangem like un​​y can punununwem un month,

youp

. shoulders,

then it won't slip.'

I said that would look

even more like it.

From behind it would look identical.

From the front people would think I'm wearing

it

backwards

.

Fortunately, everyone,

the good news is,

my character wasn't replaced in the end

because it was completely cut out.

It was completely cut out.

When I heard

the bad news,

I oughough completely cut out

. leh thr.com already signs.

...

...

At that time,

I couldn't tell you which movie it was,

but it doesn't matter now,

it's been cut,

and nobody knows which movie it was anyway.

Now whenever

I eat lychees, I

eat

.

Liu Yang cry?

In that moment,

I secretly swore to myself,

I said someday,

I'll eat my fill of crew box lunches. And if

that day really comes,

I hope I can give everyone

a proper reintroduction.

Hello everyone,

my

name is Liu

am

.

Yang,

thank you.

Hello everyone,

I'm Master Liu Yang.

Actually, from last year until now,

some changes have happened,

I had laser eye surgery for my nearsightedness.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

​

​

​

​

​surgery was really like.

Once I searched,

I found all kinds of opinions.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

after getting SMILE laser surgery,

they immediately regretted it.

When I clicked on it,

they regretted

not

doing

it sooner. procedure.

To be honest, everyone,

when I heard it was a German clinic,

I felt a little bit excited about it.

Because I had heard

many urban

legends about Germany before

.

you about it.

The most famous one is

the story of Qingdao's sewer system.

Have you all heard of it?

(

No)

You came to the right place,

after you leave today,

you'll

be

the mostsnowledgeable person aboutsda clogged

for all these years.

No matter how heavy the rain,

whoosh, it just drains away

.

The Bohai Sea could be there

, whoosh, it just drains away. Sometimes

a

car

passwordback then.

They say it was built so well

that when one sewer pipe

broke down one day,

when they opened up that sewer,

all

the sewer workers in Qingdao

were

completely stunned.

couldn't fix it,

so they had to call the Germans.

Strangely enough,

they couldn't fix sewers,

but they could speak German.

After calling, they cursed at the Germans saying.

...

...

...

panic.'

'Sewers are bound to break eventually.'

'We anticipated this outcome years ago.'

'So we dug a hole'

'3 meters away from the sewer'

'where we buried the spare parts.'

Open that hole

and you'll farr

.

there really was an oilpaper package.

Once they unwrapped it,

it contained the sewer parts.

After replacing them,

the sewer was as good as new.

My goodness, everyone,

this

story is completely dical. My goodironence

ul

. are already taking notes,

like I'm some expert on German sewage systems.

Please don't believe it. But honestly,

...

as ridiculous as this story is,

when you're about to see a German doctor

for surgery,

you kind of hope

it's true.

Because if it were true,

folks, my eyo

wuch be s.

, sut,

let

. doctors across the country are helpless.

No choice but to call the Germans.

I don't speak German,

so I have to find

a Qingdao sewer worker

to make the call to Germany.

The sewer worker calls and says:

* 8,8808, sells and says: * 8are

se

. ruined.

Danke.

The German says don't panic.

I knew your eyes would eventually fail.

So we dug a hole

3 centimeters from your cornea,

right there. What

you call

in

.

oilpaper package.

Once unwrapped,

you

'll find my cornea inside.

After replacing it, your eyes will be as good as new.

The German doctor was sentenced to life imprisonment

for illegally stored to

birl

. problem

wasn't about medical skills at all,

that wasn't a concern,

what worried me most was

how to communicate with the Germans.

My goodness,

our communication was something else.

In

Germans I donf

spf

ak

tried to communicate,

I was completely stuck,

so I suggested we use English,

since I've taught English for over a decade.

German-accented English,

if spoken slowly, I should understand. G. Everycent was wasle wasle was was was

...

...

was was waswasle） issue!

I couldn't understand a single medical term.

The doctor described to me

the entire SMILE laser surgery procedure.

I didn't understand anything

from 'SMILE laser surgery' onwards. Engm estand anything from 'SMILE laser

surgery' onwards

.

is SMILE.

Does that sound like a surgical procedure?

While we were talking

he said to me 'SMILE'

and I just...

He said 'nein nein nein' (no no no).

You SMILE (meaning the said 'nein nein nein' (no no no

)

.

If I smiled any wider

it would hurt enough to make me cry, so...

Finally, I had no choice

I

found

a random nurse

in the hospital. yet couldn't communicate in English.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

That nurse looked barely over 20

but could translate German

so I was extremely respectful.

I said to the nurse, 'Umwill you ypledh you yple, 'Um less you shpled you

ypleleh

you '

nurse asked the doctor

'Will his

night...

will...

will it be se...

will it be severe?'

I said, 'What part of that

couldn't I have said myself?' The most nerve-wracking part was the day of said myself?'

The most

nerve-wracking part was the I ally part was the Irem part was the Iperday part was the Ially parts

was extremely worried

about potential risks.

Everyone, you should understand

I couldn't bear

the risks of laser eye surgery

because we already have

a blind stand-up comedian.

Not only place he ind set mhih ready

or

set midth district this last bit year.

If something went wrong for me

it would literally be

a waste

of my eyesight.

So I kept asking the nurse

I said, 'Um

could you tell me again about the risks

are there any risk?'

The

nurse said wally signr

. risks

just follow the post-operative care instructions

here, take this post-op care package.'

As soon as I took the package

I said, 'Oh

I know what this is

here comes the bad news.'

I opened the package

and this

is here comes

the bad news.

...

...

...

...

His night blindness was cured at your hospital, sooo

then

.

really has nothing to worry about.

If you have any concerns, feel free to ask.

So I said, let me ask you,

what if during the surgery

I blink my eyes?

If I blink,

you might cut my thiselike If

I blink, you

might cut my thiseling If I blink, you might cut my thisel.

He said, 'Mr. Liu,'

his exact words.

'Mr. Liu, you really don't need to worry,

during the surgery

we'll have something to keep

your eyes open.'

I said, 'You'd bave

really keep your eyes open.' I said

, 'You'd bile really keepn

. said, 'Mr. Liu, look,

this is the dragon head from the Old Summer Palace.'

I went, 'Wow!'

Quick, cut Mr. Liu's eyes!

Snip, snip,

all done.

Later I realized I was overthin, everyone,

just

.

surgery,

the German doctor told me

the operation was successful.

The translator came running over.

The surgery was successful.

...

...

...

...

...

Congrat

p

.

'There's a but?

Didn't we say everything was fine at first?'

I asked, 'But what?'

He said, 'But... you'll

be 38 by the end of the year.

Around 40,

you'll start experiencing precious

.

said, 'No,

just wear glasses and you'll be fine.'

Thank you everyone, I'm Master Liu Yang,

thank you all.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Liu Ziming.

Now I can tell you

This year,

two

shows at the slywoo ......

p

.

...

...

New Year's Eve.

What's wrong with this stage?

Don't tell me

going to be a director lawoter with this stage? Do

n't tell me going to be a

director

later you

w . carrying

two platforms

a mission to

live

in

harmony

. I

'm

not

even

Chief

.

didn't want to treat it.

Because sometimes when I walk,

can you help me

if there's a car in the back.

But it's different recently.

It's ringing recently.

When you bend your legs,

when you bend your legs.

...

...

recommended me a specialist account.

Special need expert.

500 yen.

Everyone, I'm expin uan need expert

.

you'd better tell me

I've never heard of.

If you say you're old,

I'm not leaving.

That expert really deserves his reputation.

I didn't know until I got to him

the symptoms of my skull tr​​anst is until I got to

him the symptoms of my skull transt

is

aid

.

you'd better get surgery immediately.

That's great.

Where is the best person

in your hospital?

He said he was right in front of you. It

...

...

...

...

...

you .

down,

I didn't lie at all.

His knees are louder than mine.

Please get up.

This specialist is...

Which one is weak?

Just recommend me

to me.

He explained to me

why

his kne on were

getne

.

Because his knees were too loud.

Neither of us

walk in the room at the same time.

People say

It's swinging.

There are people from Tianjin.

At the same time,

he said you can choose rehabtation socin same time, he said you

can .

outside of the thigh.

Push your knees back.

I chose this.

This is perfect.

It's conservative,

but it doesn't hurt.

Wrong choice.

...

...

...

somel .

tortures.

There's no bed.

They are all torture tools. Put them there.

There's an old man

is playing the car split project.

Four people held him there.

I've never been to the rehabilitation. came over.

...

...

...

He used a membrane knife to relax my thighs.

Do you know the membrane knife?

The membrane knife is used

and the membrane knife,

I have a new understanding of my

my realr

.

broke me down.

He shaved

a small tank.

With this shave,

I said, I'll go.

Did the knife open?

He said, "Does your leg still hurt?"

Hey

, is your leg still there?

He said, of course your leg wave you said, of

course

.

Give me that thing.

After scraping a few times,

It really works.

It doesn't hurt that much.

He said it doesn't hurt anymore.

That's great. You're really amazing.

...

It doesn' anymore. That's great. You're really amazing. It doesn't hate at .

...

Het

.

it with his elbow.

I thought

my elbow

Can it hurt more than a membrane knife?

He pressed me and said,

Oh, man.

This is a knife

No. Rehabilitation Department, rights?

Cheinne KangFu.

We can use . if Ireal Id if If 死音 have

. We can unit

if

. more new stories.

A talk show for the disabled.

It's time to wash the cards.

...

...

I saw my grandma directly.

Then press it.

I saw my other ancestors

my great grandma,

Liu Bei, Liu Bang.

Liu Bang said

the wind is blowing and the clouds are flying.

If this continues,

hexhe or the clouds are

flying. If

; despite the pain.

Is this the right time to talk?

He was talking to me.

He said, "Does it hurt?"

Are you blind?

He

said, "That's right."

People

Only three parts.

It hurts the most.

First,

Trident ve

pache

. unbearable.

...

...

It's known as a lumbar clinging dragon.

A drop of sweat will sting.

It's unbearable.

Third,

I have to count the kidney stones.

What does this this to on aid leger lids I ,

said have to you said have to I emaid have to I em said have to you

said have to I emaid have to my said have to you said have to I em said have to my said have to I emaid have to I emaid have to you said have to I emaid have to I em said have to my said have to my said have to you said have to I em said have to I said have of you said have to I three like , analysis

. ignorant when it hurts?

I need you to tell me.

He also thinks this is wrong.

He started to ask about me. The question is done.

He's asking me questions about me.

Brother, it hurts so​​l

.

Dont

. make up lies.

...

...

He asked me

What do you do?

Hey, comedian.

A comedian?

I took part in some variety shows

and left of thef per

wonlywem

episode .

a new teacher.

Now I've become a good student.

A happy weekend for our child.

Do you guys

very humorous?

I said it's very humorous

He often makes

people

laugh with one sentence. Really.

You 're

sfried

.

why didn't he pierce his ears?

He said he was afraid that it would hurt.

Guys, I don't know if you have

who are afraid of piercing their ears.

...

...

...

...

doesn't matter.

Push your legs.

Bro

piercing his ears

Hit both sides.

Earbone nail

Nose nail, nose ring.

A tattoo.

wisdom teeth.

Four wisdom teeth.

The appendix is alsopoint cut. isdom teeth. Four wisdom teeth.

...

...

...

...

...

training is so painful.

Can you imagine how painful my knees are?

Not at all.

Not at all.

It just rings.

It

's just a noisy knee.

Can

it be louder than me?

That day, my whole life was lightened

. solved

in your life,

Don't solve them.

Just put it there.

Because sometimes it costs more

to

solve

it.

Just like me now.

I spend one day every week

to

do rehabilitation training.

Six

day left. Chief Liu Zheng.

It's the first round of the Final.

Last year, in the first round of the Final,

in the Final.

We're almost there.

This year is totally different. one.

...

...

...

...

I lose every time.

I'm going to the waiting room.

Just like going home.

The only thing I'm waiting for

is to introduce

to the newcomers.

Tell them

You can get water here.

You can use your phone.

You

're crying here.

No one can find out.

Oh my god

.

myself.

I'm thinking

I'm not suitable for a talk show.

But big data understands me.

That night, Xiao's book

to me that night.

Come and sign up as the audience.

...

...

...

...

It kept pushing me

a combination shampoo.

I hope I can buy it.

A combination shampoo

It's shampoo and shower

Because it thinks

I'm a lazy person.

When I take a shower Because it thinks I'm a lazy person. didn't bother me.

...

...

...

...

So he started to recommend

a combination shampoo.

Shampoo shampoo,

shower

, and hair care combination.

It's hard for you to imagine who doesn't separate shampoo and shower.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Wash my face.

I dare not buy it.

I'm afraid after I buy it,

when I open the box,

is a soap.

Andpry

I had a myopic s

.

sweat.

But I really like fitness. out.

...

...

...

...

swimming glasses.

Everyone. Have you ever worn a mask to work out?

My eys.

There s water in

sca

.

Sweat can't get into my eyes.

No one can enter this gym.

When people come in and say,

I'll go.

Is the gym

Is the water so deep?

Why don't I

carry an oxygen bottle

I'llal two 7 wear wear sly wearly lloxygen bottle I'll tear

two

7

wla.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​me if you knew?

It recommends me to wear this mask

when I take a shower.

Everyone, this is really

touched my bottom line.

I'm thinking if I don't wear it,

Just

close your ey thinking if I do

n't wear it, Just close your ey

. my eyes closed.

I close my eyes.

Water wet my body.

When I was about to wash my hair,

I found

I can't tell which is shampoo.

...

...

At that moment,

I

emronl .

the wrong shampoo.

I was going to take shampoo

to get the shampoo.

I was thinking

there is no Braille on shampoo.

Not even a Braille.

It's useless to have Braille.

There are many places with Braille. places with

...

Braille

. on the button.

Then the blind will know

Which floor should I press?

It's perfect.

But can you please

and give her a voice message?

Tell them

Which floor is it parked now?

If you stop a few more times

when the elevator door opens If

you

stop a few more times when the elevator door openelator kere s .

There are blind boxes outside the elevator.

Blind people can only guess.

Go to the 20th floor.

After pressing it,

It stopped four or five times in the middle.

I guessed four or five times. middle.I guessed four or five times

...

.

I

cant times. shocked.

Tell me, I'll go.

Blind people need to drive?

The blind

And I think

this is the world.

It's always close. too.

...

...

...

Imost

to was protect myf . ISdm to fm. Mem to

wasm to was

protect

myf

. abroad.

And I said

it's not safe abroad.

I just checked

how to defend myself abroad.

They recommended me

to buy a pair of fingers abroad.

Tiger

?

I don't know if you

've

seen

it.v.

attack

of

that

thing

.

​

​

​

​

​

​buy it,

I can only put it in my bag. In my

bag,

it won't

have

any meaning

of

.

stuck.

Sir, wait a moment.

Darn it. Another stab.

Brother!

Stop it.

Brother.

There's a cloth bag inside.

Why are there so many ropes?

Brother.

...

...

...

it . The rope is

stuck

.

protect

myself

. name.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

It sounds amazing.

What Brazil jutsu?

Ba-rou.

Thai boxing.

Then I thought about it.

if I wanted to protect myself,

if I want to protect myself? I

pricem

the b

.

see

Bolt got beaten?

Not even once.

The fist over there

Bolt is 20 meters away.

If you want to hit Bolt,

you need to

inject

stimulant first.

And I can prove

running is the best way to htect

to

ourst .

There was a history

During the slave system,

Every day,

from Africa.

and the strongest athlete

to the US Continent.

So all the

the best sports genes

in the US Continent.

So what are you looking at?

The rugby champion is in America

in

ask .

marathon

In Africa,

running is the best way to protect yourself.

But even the best way to defend yourself

Almost.

Because

the shoes I usually wear

are like this.

I can't run fast.

If I bring sneakers in can this.Ahenf can game

, somem 0000m in

0m

区okay. You're here again.

Hey

He stabbed me again.

It's the wound from last time.

It's a tiger.

I can't use this anymore.

Why are there so many things? I don't need it anymore.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Brother, take it.

Brother, take it.

to win the championship for me.

Look at my body and say,

I can't win the championship even if I get the manuscript.

If I really wect to flyect pavel, Bect to

lemo

. can fly.

Because I remembered

a classic failure case.

...

...

Ikalos

, as you all know,

he has a pair of wax-made wings.

And he flies too high.

The

sun melted his wings

. in my opinion,

he has many excellent strengths.

For example,

he loves flying.

He goes forward bravely.

He yearns for freedom.

In my opinion, his only weakness

is that it

doz atwe

it

. look at the result,

he is indeed

a tragic character.

But if we only look at the process,

he's just

who loves flying.

This season is over.

Thank you so much for the last two seasons. Iope I so much for the last two seasons.

...

...

...

...

He came all the way to show off.

My teeth hit the microphone just now.

The Final.

I'd like to talk about

about the changes this year.

First of all,

an obvious honn,

Inwogram, Iwogram,

probgram,

an

obvious bit.

I'm pretending now. know

...

When answering reporters' questions.

The reporters asked

how it feels

How does it feel?

Hey.

Uh...

It's

a sense of weightlessness.

What does

he mean ?

He's just floating

m

. a father this year.

Thank you.

I have a son.

named Ye.

His birth is very interesting.

Let me tell you.

He was born on April 30.

Let me tell you.

April 30 is

International Nobornren's Day.

gave me

signal .

don't celebrate the festival.

...

...

...

A baby who just had a full moon.

He can't talk.

Many people don't know about this.

In the first full moon,

wey people don't know about this. rude.

...

...

...

...

...

...

I'm sorry, sir.

This kid

is very bad at heling.

He can't talk. He can cry a lot.

He cant I heling. He can't talk

. with one hand.

...

...

...

...

...

He dribbles the ball and cries.

I don't know what to do.

When he cried the most,

I suddenly realized

Oh no.

I'll take the train with him.

I'll be edrething're mewee.

...

...

...

...

...

My son is just embarrassed.

I even lost my part.

So I came up with a strategy.

Guoguo and I will take the high-speed train togese

I

. else.

Pretend you don't know my son.

When my son cried,

I stood up. is

...

...

...

...

coaxing me.

No one

can cheer me up. No one is

coaxing

me. just warm-hearted.

I don't usually help.

I don't even know this kid.

How old are you?

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

They coax them at home.

They can't comfort them at all.

Can you stop broadcasting your phone?

Stop it.

We won't do it after this.

Yes.

Damn big data.

Put it in your mouth it in your.

It's big data. Put

it in your mouth p'sl. stand up

...

...

like me.

Whose phone is this

No one wants it.

No one wants it.

No

way

. Someone will want it.

He

can only tell others to say

say volume

on

.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​dissolved.

For example, I once

my best friend's wedding.

I was really touched on the stage.

I sat on the table

my tears rolled in my eyes.

Then someone

next to me asked,

Are you touched

?

ey .

level

But when you have a child,

when you're really emotional,

you found that your level of humor

Your level is declining.

No one understands.

When he was born,

I waited in front of the de very room.

My liand

room

I was very anxious in front of the delivery room

I don't know when the baby will be born

There won't be a countdown.

Put it there. Three, two, one.

You

're

a father, aren't youf There's

wandm

. heard a baby crying.

Is this a baby crying

Or a cat?

Season is also the season for cats.

The nurse said

Mr.

Liu, you can come in.

I said there was a cat in my house.

The nursese told mean I cat in

.

Let me see if my wife is safe.

That's great.

I said let me take a look at my son.

pointing at something red.

Say this

I said "Ho".

This is me, my God.

Why are you...

It's hard to describe

It's a hairless cat.

Just throw it over there.

A baby

The fetus hair

like this.

It feels like

by the world.

I can't control my lim. S facearound

.

And his world. I ca

n't control my

limth. this kid is so ugly.

...

...

...

...

...

...

Oh my god. So ugly.

My emotion tells me

so ugly. Oh my god. So ugly. My

emotion tells me he

's so .i god. intertwine,

my tears flushed.

Tears roll in my eyes.

...

...

...

...

It's cold.

The delivery room is frozen.

The

nurse

ward '

surname Hong?

At least...

I said you're not surnamed Hong.

You like it.

Chen Xinhong.

Since the birth of this joke,

since I was born.

But this is a love letter

a love letter to Chen Xinhong.

And heasi in

inj .

maternity center

and put it at the nurse station.

a row of glass walls.

and a row of babies at the back.

The nurse is there to take care of them.

I'll visit him at night.

I lay on the glass.

Hey, on My visit the night.

I lay on

the glass. Dad.

...

...

Keep appealing.

When I was touched,

when my eyes were twitching,

the nurse came out and said,

What are you doing here?

Well,

I'm here to pick a baby.

The nurse di's accept the joke'm here on I baby. The nurse di's accept the

jokesaids

s

. sweet.

How old are you?

He's so quiet.

It's so awkward.

But after he was born,

my parents came to see him.

My parents came to see him.

My parents are in their himsix to They'ame to see him. confused.

...

...

...

...

...

Because this is

my son

just like me when I was young.

When my parents were teasing him, Ithisd young. When my parents were teasing him

,

Ithisdly

young

.

teasing me when I was a baby.

...

...

...

the crying baby

It's me.

That

the immature instant

me.

It was me who made my parents

more gray hair sooo me.

It

was me who made my parents more gray hairo swse gray'h wourse gray somem

to more gray huse

more. was thinking

I couldn't express my love

because I couldn't speak.

After he can talk,

I told my parents.

So one moment,

don't try to say anything to my parents.

I can't say it. Try

to say anything to my parents. . turned around and said,

...

...

What's wrong?

Hey.

he looks like

a red-haired gorilla.

Thank

you. I'm Chief Liu Zheng.

Thank you.

(Liu Zheng)

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

I

'm very happy

I'm

. comedy shows.

and got some

some small achievements.

...

...

I was very happy.

Because I think it's great.

more people know me.

You can finally

my old works.

I didn't expect

would ed about me.

more old works everyone didn't expect everyone would ed about me.

...

...

...

...

...

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​who's draining it for?

If this continues,

I'll sign the show.

I'll change the name first.

I won't call it

"King of Comedy Single Season".

You have to remember the word "King of Comedy". The) s a​​alk the Iask s a​​hronh wasre's aious eovre wasre's

arem

wasre

's

aious

. comedian?

Why did you learn English from him?

The blogger also answered seriously

You don't understand.

Learning English like this

It's like

underground style.

I'm very emotional, everyone.

It's my first time. I'm very emotional, everyone

. It's

my

first time .

just realized that...

it's an underground teacher.

His personal message has changed too.

Now

I

receive

more than 30 private messages every day.

are all English questions.

I'm very emotional

.

fans asked me]

I...

Of course, my personal messages

is not like this.

The private messages

Because I've been talking about

for ten years.

There used to be many private messages

in

private

messages

. unhappy.

I remember a private message.

I still remember what he said.

Because he was so unique.

He scolded

the second half

the first half.

I made up a joke online.

He came over and said Dosyou over

and said

you

.

Memory

.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​ said.

Let me repeat it for you.

Everyone

I told you

I bought a pack of peanuts.

Just

a big bag of peanuts

In a transparent bag

Each one is full of peanuts.

The

noodles

are written with the first name

with

puts putsr .

There's a line of words on its back.

An allergic hint.

Attention, in this item,

contains peanuts.

I mocked you.

I said you are extra.

Who are you showing it to?

I

got scolded. Somegoone

inted

.

my head

The tone of imagination.

In fact, he is...

And...

He said, "Hey."

Is this a joke?

Do you know

a person who is allergic to peanuts

After listening to your story,

I let my guard down.

and ate peanuts.

Can you take responsibility if something happens?

I may offend you in the talk show,

but please respect him.

The end of the private message is him.

He vomited blood.

I was

shocked

people who are allergic to peanuts?

That's him. least

...

...

...

a normal human.

In his eyes,

a person who is allergic

to

putsuts One

ate putsr .

written on the front.

peanuts.

How do I look inside?

Why is it peanuts?

Take one and ask the foreigners.

What's this? What is this?

The foreigner said

This

is peanuts .

And people

who

peanuts.

Everyone, if I'm allergic to peanuts,

I won't even touch

in my life.

I don't even read Sherlock Holmes.

I just opened a book

It says

Sherlock Holmes walked into the room.

A soldier

. Wait

,

hism

. assistant.

Screw you!

You want to kill me?

But some people also say

But this is just a manufacturer.

to avoid taking responsibility.

...

...

you canres oid you canres

s .

one

-

sided

comedy

.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​seen

very ironic.

It's called criticism.

will make you progress.

Just get scolded.

Everyone, here's the thing.

Maybe criticism will make you progress.

But

now

the Internet

on

the Internet.

80

percentages

. float in a fast way.

Trash.

Think about it. you imagine Van Gogh living until now?

...

...

...

...

...

Van Gogh started dra

7

.

years old.

Suicide at the end of the year.

I don't even want the year-end bonus.

Van Gogh drew a sunflower.

I can imagine

what he looks like on Weibo.

...

...

a .

you don't know.

Who likes Van Gogh?

Is this a sunflower?

Eat something nice

Family

One ear to avoid lightning.

Van Gogh disappeared on the spot.

Van Gogh didn't even finish drawing

the

sunflower

. allergic to them."

I've been thinking too much.

It's even worse to live till now.

Can you imagine

Qu Yuan is still alive?

Everyone.

If Qu Yuan

with Weibo,

The Dragon Boat Festival.

Qu Yuan.

The first time

On the day of the

p

.

Qu Yuan posted on Weibo.

So angry.

I was isolated by Duke Chu Huai again.

Someone below.

Who asked you?

Don't you feel responsible

Aren't you responsible?

Why diothers he push oids out?

Just you responsible? Why diother't

he push oids

out? Just you Inj.

fish ate Quyuan's body,

and tied those who scolded him

into dumplings

Then throw it into the river

Throw it and say it.

Happy Dragon Boat Festival.

Some people talk while being eaten fish.fish.

I'm the on ome people talk

while being eaten fish.fish.

...

...

...

...

I suggest

you should at least scold him in English.

At least you can

memorize the words.

Say, but I'll Engold you least you can memorize the words. Say, but I'll old you least you. I youmorize the

words

.

It's an underground teacher.

Please pay attention.

Remember the word "King of Drama".

Thank you.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

...

...

...

recently.

know when you fly too much,

you'll learn a lot.

I've learned a lot.

For example, the first time I met

in

economy class. come and say

...

...

...

...

...

...

Hello, Mr. Li.

He's our distinguished VIP.

Let's do it the same way later.

When the plane takes off,

you drive.

The rest of you, fasten your seat belt.

Mr. Li drive. The rest of you, fasten

your seat belt. Mr. Li likes

it

. treatment

the VIP members enjoy?

Nothing.

The only treatment it enjoys is

the flight attendant will come and tell him

that everyone knows.

and then ran over.

That's the news. After he came here,

he

was starl

. me.

Then I stole the sense of dignity.

Keep an eye on Mr. Li.

Hello, Mr. Li.

You are

of our airline company.

...

...

...

...

led

let .

special about this?

Mr. Li is also very hasty.

This is a gold card, right?

It's not respectful.

I thought I should help Mr. Li.

He just sat there and said

When will you arrive

I don't Linow the time has there and said When

will you arrive I do

n't 's has't dom y

to you wear your coat?

Are you wearing it or not?

Mr. Li obviously has a straight waist.

You can wear it.

But the key is this little information.

She was afraid that I would hear key is this little information. Mr. Lee,

...

...

...

...

...

You are our precious Kim.

Mr. Li, you are...

Mr. Li, let me write it down for you.

It's killing me.

I've been complaining about the gold card

for a while.

I was

p pook p

.

an honorable member of the National Aviation.

I'm on the plane.

The flight attendant will be here soon.

I said don't come over.

The flight attendant said Mr. Liu

19.

I said no.

If the flight attendant tells me anything,

I will share it with you in time.

After listening,

I'll be there at 19 pair

fever . .

...

The flight attendant said something. I'll say something.

It's not that awkward.

The

flight

attendant said

hello

, Mr. Liu.

She's our

respected

VIP

. problem .

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​ mountain

is

300

meters high,

everyone

. 100

meters

.

80 yuan

to our

fun

Enjoy VIP

A VIP set meal.

I said, "Of course I want it."

Have fun.

Playing card.

Then I upgraded. is that know The only thing that can have

...

...

...

...

fin is that the hassm the that can hem top that can have is that can hem

top ' seen a glass tunnel, right?

Between two small slopes,

between two small slopes.

You walk up and say,

I'm so scared.

It's just a piece of junk.

Do you want to play

Ofa course

. 80

uan

I. serious fear of heights.

I don't want to take a step up there.

People say it's 80 yuan.

Does it hurt so much?

Not taking a step.

But the problem is

my wife knows me well taking a step. I'll take off my glasses.

...

...

...

...

Everyone, I still have serious light dispersion.

When I take off my glasses,

The glass tunnel has changed into alee.

Three

times

the

fear .

body is trembling.

A little bit forward

Everyone is shocked.

Are blind also afraid of glass passages?

It doesn't make sense.

In this situation,

there's a service

in my free set.

Free

photos

.

and trembling.

When you're sweating,

I have a thought.

It'd be nice if someone took a picture of me.

I'll

listen

with my eyes closed.

...

...

...

...

I said it's too scary.

I wanted to leave.

The waiter told me

Mr. Liu, these wonderful moments

such wonderful moments?

These wonderful moments

you just need to spend 25 yuan

to

buy it back.

yuan.

He said he wouldn't buy it, so he hung it up.

I said buy it, boss.

Bro, let's discuss.

I've got a better card.

The most cost-effective card I've ever had

I went to theme had I park

for a theme park.

...

...

Which theme park is it?

When I went to see Mickey Mouse,

It's inside.

There's one advantage for Do-woo's speed card.

You

donfeel

.

up None

.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​you know.

When you meet each other,

you will

countless times.

You just keep circling.

He's always in front of you.

You'll be fine after three rounds.

Walking there

Jang.

You came to this theme park too? Meil​​​​l for

What

theo .

touch. See you later.

See you soon.

Jang, I came by plane.

The plane is tiring. I developed it my .

...

...

...

...

...

In a sfriike tell you a way. I developed

it my youf In a

am

youf say the same thing,

But you can say it in another way.

I guarantee your friendship will last forever.

You used

the

same

way

in

the way of reading

books

. too.

On the plane when I came

I suddenly heard

in the dark.

If you want to know who it is,

Let's split in the next circle.

Turn around.

A flight attendant.

The flight attendant said it soft around.

...

...

...

po.m. Liu Zheng.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

Well,

I have a program

I'm doing it too.

And

in another

in another comedy prison.

When my show was aired,

someone knew I was on this show and my show shows aired, someone knew I was on this . and said said sh was

on

. time

and you're still writing.

And I'm recording my own broadcasters.

I'm still doing my own special tour.

Are you rolling

because of your passion

or

I owe a nude loan?

I...

I justike

like 3d dustike lid

3ca

;

others.

I was so suffocated.

Everyone, I used to...

my first job

is in New East.

You know how curly it is.

It can be said

Oriental Real Scroll.

We have

We had a class before.

This is a trial class is. We have We had a class

before . This is a

trial class. The list) to list is

pen after listening.

The next class will do.

This class.

Let's start with the title.

To sell my class,

I'm going all out.

My title is

English reading understanding.

five secrets. In five,

30dive

,

reading

p

. of them.

No one bought my class.

I said let's take a look at the class of the sales champion.

I'm impressed by the title.

His title is the original text.

Reading understanding.

No more reading.

Brother,

How

reading.

I understand it by myself.

Ms. Joo Dan?

Did you take this class too?

And

I'll kneel down to you later.

And then?

There's one more class for the teacher.

This

class is called

the secs of English in pouring

. hours left.

What are you doing?

Studying English reading

Five secrets?

The cruelest is

the teacher rolled me.

One time, I was surprised that

this teacher

went to ten sales team leaders.

They gave or this teacher went to ten sales team leaders.

...

...

...

...

Take this.

My phone.

I feel guilty.

No one bought his class.

Why bother?

Isn't it good to give time?

I'm surprised too.?

...

...

...

...

I can sell your class voluntarily.

Give me ten.

I'll participate, King of Comedy.

I sold your classes. student.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

went to Yonghe Palace

I went to Yonghe Palace in Beijing

standing in front of a wishing pool.

He wung gain uanace in Beijing standing

in front of

a wishing .I went whom uan uanl

. pool and said,

I hope God can bless me

to get into Tsinghua.

How dare you?

If I were an immortal,

I would grab the coin.

Brother, really?

One

Go to Tsinghua

One yuan.

From

here to Tsingyuan

uanyuan

Tel

; killing me.

After I came to this industry,

This industry is more scrolling.

But the curls of the one-sided comedy industry

is polite.

We have a tacit understanding.

If you

experience

the s polite.m wurs

onet .

until now,

we're not only fighting for materials,

but also open microphone.

shared bike.

As long as I can get it,

no one can tell

How

far are we going?

You may not

beve

me.

got on a shared bike.

All of us

can't believe their eyes.

except the dark light.

Lights.

I'll take the lights for him.

That's too much.

But in this industry,

in this industry.

Everyone. too much. But in this industry, in this industry. Everyone. Because I ride a shared

I

fast ibride

car fast.

Some locks fast.

But I dare not lock the car.

I roll like this.

I

got hit by a car

I don't mind being hit by a car. up,

...

...

...

...

...

it won't stop me from scrambling.

I

'll

take

out

my

script

to

the nurse

.

A single-tongued comedian rarely goes to team building.

Because we go to team building.

No one plays.

We're always wary of each other.

Don't steal the materials. reactionis Look top .

...

...

...

...

...

...

person takes out the notebook,

Everyone

Take it out.

What are you doing?

Don't push me.

Let's write together.

I have to

to

mediate.

...

...

...

assistant from afar.

Write this down.

I rolled it like this.

Maybe after the stiff,

when I saw the water surface,

the boss was gone.

We won't save him now.

...

...

...

...

only a coin

Thin the water wins save him get s

...

Because in this era,

who would carry a coin

for such a situation?

I...

roll like this.

Not

only

did I make a wish and get a clip,

I also

made a wish to get a bottle.

to unify the green tea.a.

breeze

It's directly in sugar free.

I've written the business segments.

This is how I roll it.

Of course.

Of course, I roll like this

because I firmly believe

as a creator,

he is the

on way

p .

old,

I was competing with

with these actors.

I hope

I can really do it.

Sit up when you're dying.

Laughing.

Can I write this part?

Thank you, I'm Liu Zheng, the king of rolling. Thank part?

Thank ,

I 'm Liu Zheng,

the king of

rolling.

The last scene.

The audience didn't know.

I was the second in the last scene.

Then

why

did

I

sit there? on a diet.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

I'm on a diet.

I hope

make your face smaller.

I hope my face can be smaller.

I actually searched a lot of things

on Xiaohongshu. want.

...

...

...

...

...

...

So I searched on Xiaohongshu.

I found a unique skill that makes your face smaller.

to share with you.

a set of theories.

It's very scientific. to share with you. a set of theories. 2.5 meters wide.

...

...

...

...

...

No

one

will pay attention to my face.

The only thing you ask

is that

Where's his Classic

Only

Mr. Fanhi

;

online.

I searched a series of things.

Let me share with you.

From that day to now,

the whole process of my search.

Share the journey of your mind.

I'll search first.

How to stretch your shoulders

Five bive aboutin forpive exing

supert. heavy.

How do you recover from your shoulder injury?

It's raining on a cloudy day.

Is it normal to hurt your shoulder?

How to make your shoulder look big?

How?

How to overcome anxiety

to become a moncm become a monc can's How?o toof cancome a monced cancome a monced scancome a moncocan become a

moncg cancome a moncocan become a monced cancome a moncg become a monced scancome a moncg cancome a moncocan cancome a monced cancome a moncocan become a moncocan cancome

.

To the gym

I'm also anxious to go to the gym

Because there are too many

muscle maniac.

Have you seen muscle maniac?

They are easy to recognize.

They

can't

stand like this. They can only stand ize

. attack him.

Just stab him.

He can't even reach it.

Wait.

I can't reach with my left hand.

Because the chest muscle is big. with muscle maniac.

...

...

...

...

...

...

These people are so scary.

Once,

I practiced my biceps in the gym.

My weight

is this skin.

Practice this skin.

I want this sweight is this skin. squats?

...

...

...

...

...

...

He squats 170 kg.

What is 170 kg?

Everyone, I'm 70 kg.

He can lift two

of

me.

kilograms.

I'll be your photographer.

I need to practice.

Then the big brother is over there.

squat there.

I'm next to him. am. breathing.

...

...

...

...

...

...

I couldn't breathe.

Scold me.

Hold it.

You didn't breathe.

Did you suck it?

I'll put you up too.

Then keep squatting.

I was so scared.

And sometimes,

when you practice pen

youf

I

scared

. muscle maniac

to practice with you.

He's far away.

I knew he would come.

Because he's one meter away from me.

My chest is already on my face.

Bro

Move back a little

Then come here

Did.

This is face

. Bro Move back a little Then come here

D.s. This sence bents

.

You're in a group and I'm in a group.

It's hard for you to reject him now.

Do you understand?

I said go away. ditch.

...

...

...

I can only let him practice

Iditchce

.

can't use it for the rest of my life.

Brother is there

I'm fan the wind.

I almost caught a cold.

The wind blows to the gym

He's having fun.

Put it there.

Bro.

I'll go get some water. Goa . Wut it

there. Bro

. I'll go get some water

. Gole . Why

lithing I on episode I. brother's film.

You can't just remove one side of the bell.

I'll open this side

and open it here.

Take it down and take it down

Bro is back

I'll start to load it up

Come back when you're done back I'll start to load it up Come back when you're done.

Keep words

brother.

I'm responsible for

to dispel the heat.

After he left,

It's so hot. This bell piece.

Sometimes when he comes back,

I found a lot of barbell chips. this weight.

...

...

...

...

...

No

wonder

. I

used this weight.

But

we

practiced in different ways.

should remove his film.

I should let go of my anxiety.

Okay.

I should have

dignity. Sea.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Those small weight bumper chips

Every day

Nobody cares about it.

When I go there, they...

It's New Year.

The one who understands them the most is here.

When I went there,

I came all the way here.

What is here.

When

I went there, I came

all

the way here.

What 5.55ham .5.55ham . here.

Hey.

I'm coming.

Come on.

Higher.

Ride a big horse.

One by one

Two kilograms

I can't lift.

Thank you very much.

...

[Chinese]

Hello.

I...

Hello, my name is Liu Zheng.

I've been talking about one-sided comedy for ten years.

Yes.

But this is my

first time

a one-sided comedy show. To

be honest, I'm very pour

s

.

director told us

Mr. Liu, remember the process.

When you go on stage,

Go away from your leader.

Hug your teammates.

Everyone.

Guys.

Two.

This is my teammates'

of teammates.

If Luo loses, tells is my

teammates

'

. worried before I came.

I was worried.

I'm worried that my face

I look really ugly on camera.

[

He's handsome.]

It's ugly.

This

is the ugly part.

You can see that this face is square

.

作用

.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​stuck,

Just like that.

When I came here, the crew asked me

Because the crew knew

with Zhou Qimo.

So the crew asked

how you treat Zhou Qimo.

Is

he the best friend

in this circle

?

Every

We went on stage together.

Back in Beijing,

we rode a shared bike

in a shared bike.

Sometimes

,

experienced something together.

Whoever

can make it a joke

depends on who gets the

shared bike first。

should ask me

The best friend in this circle

That could be

shared bike.

I...

I really like sharing bicycles.

Everyone. I even got a bike card.

I do

n't

know if you've ever had one.

(Yes.)

I dicot w . my car and needed to pay.

That app told me

not to pay.

You only need to spend 16.5 yuan

to get a bike card.

It's free for 30 days. Just ride it.

You

have no idea

how casual I am

。 card.

Which brand did you sign?

This brand disappeared

from this city.

No.

I got a ride card for a group.

When I went out,

there was no yellow car.

I said it was just now.

It

's yellow. orling

yellowre

. the door.

Did you do it?

Yes.

Hurry, paint me in green.

Make it green.

It's too late.

Hug a blue car.

Hwang Ga-ram is green.

Hold him there.

I

didn't expect

I would be stuck I

will be stuckt

I

.

not showing off my wealth.

I'm sharing my bicycle freedom.

What do I want to ride?

What shared bike?

I got a card. I changed.

My soul was kidnapped by capital.

I'm. I'm going soul was kidnapped by capital. I'm...

I'm going outul was kipike by capital. I'm... I'm going

outl

. clothes in the morning.

I saw dozens of blue cars

hundreds of green cars,

There's nothing I can ride.

No matter how far the destination is,

I walk to my destination.

I don't think

I got a gym card.

Sometimes,

when you see someone

you see someone

riding a yellow shared bike

in front of you.

Sorrow comes from it

I don't know when I'll cry.

at him and say,

Why?

ust one stan ygothing the you or say, Why? one say, Whyf you say, Why?ygo say, Why?ygo say, Why?ygo

saym, Why?ygo saym, Why?ygo saym, Why?ygo s , Why?ygo s , Why?ygo s , Why?ygo saym, Why?

yougo s , Why?ygo saym, Why?yougo s , Why?ygo ygothing . have now

is mine.

This is my attitude towards Zhou Qimo.

Just kidding.

That's how a single-mouthed comedian is.

We'll say this

to be funny.

And...

Just kidding.

We're very close.

Because if you . And... Just kidding. We're very close.

Because ifour youca

. offend a single-mouthed comedian,

Does he really want to steal the shared bike from you?

You can't win him back.

Sometimes,

Everyone, there's a situation.

you saw

a shared bike sawpark a ellowy

You sawparkal car sawation.

want to ride?

(Yes)

Of course.

It's even cheaper for capital.

I'll ride it.

I can ride 100 meters slowly.

I wasn't riding the bike along the way.

I was looking at this car.

Slowins

the s sl.

that

Spread your hands when you turn.

Soul riding.

After that,

I was so excited that I couldn't let go.

Lock the car.

No parking.

We have to search the nearest parking point.

Search.

It's that place.

Noweon

search the nearest parking point. Search. It's that place

. No. to the destination.

Nothing.

This shared bike is a test drive.

Sometimes it really locks a car.

I don't want to leave.

I

look

back step by step.

Because you don't know

in this life. a yellow shared Iike

. looks at you.

You don't talk, it doesn't talk.

Then one second,

you thought you had to leave.

Go ahead.

Let's go.

It said

Where are you going?

I'm going to work.

Can you not Where are you going?

I

'm

going to work. Can

you not work.

think too much.

Although

the shared bike we can scan

More and more.

More and less.

Let's start over.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

Just now.

Although we can scan the shared bike now

are getting less and less. Bwe

can scan

the shared bike sce

get

to catch up with the show.

Thank you, I'm Liu Zheng.

Thank you.

Hello everyone.

I'm Liu Yang.

The troublemaker's parents are here.

Many

actors said they wanted to see my son. Zhain willm

.

neeever

. next 30 years.

My name is Liu Yang.

For the past two years, I've been participating in shows

and the label

I 've gotten most often

is being intense.

I am indeed very busy,

my schedule isfried ionedule

,

Readeed. sent him

my calendar.

He asked if this was for a week,

and I told him it was just for Monday.

It's extremely tight.

Everyone around me is more relaxed than I am,

even my dad is

morel back

relaxed than I am.

About my name,

my father named me,

with this character 'Yang'.

This character 'Yang'

means sunny day.

Some people hear this and say,

what a beautiful meaning,

does it represent

your father's wonderful expectations for you?

Actually, no,

because this character

was a mistake made by the registration officer.

At most, it represents the registration officer's

good wally for sost, charadresents the registration officer's good wally

was ose. (颺).

It comes from 'The Return' poem,

'The boat floats lightly in the distance.'

It means

free-spirited.

The registration officer made a mistake.

And my dad just accepted it.

So you can sade a mistake. And my dad just accepted it. So you can sade a mistake

。 not fussy.

My dad should be the one named Liu Yang (颺).

I'm so busy,

I should be called Liu Mang (Busy).

Even my fans are more relaxed than I am,

which I really can't understand.

Recently, someft

,

n me.

He said this was

the least funny thing he'd ever seen.

More than 20 of my fans

rushed to that post

and under his comment,

they posted

links to my Spring Festival Gala performance.

They even tagged him specific,

saymy Spring

節

my fans upgrade it to a nuclear bomb.

Participating in this show is also

like joining various variety shows,

where I get criticized for not being relaxed.

Last year,

I won the champion shipon 'Comampion

sh

. speech

and was too choked up to speak.

A comment floated by saying,

'If he were more relaxed,

he could achieve even better results.'

I

already won first place, man! What

它

be

b

when I was on this show,

there was a scene

where I was writing jokes for the show,

doing nothing else,

just writing jokes.

Then a bunch of comments floated by saying,

"Liu Yang is just too uptight." ome on conled reled relstal

relo

upt up.

I'm not writing anymore.

The director said, "Go on stage and tell jokes."

I said, "I won't.

I'll just stand there on stage,

super relaxed."

I'll go on stage, wave my hands, super relaxed."

I 'll go on stage, wave my handds.

go on stage and do performance art.

After I get on stage, I'll say, "Hello everyone,

actually today I'm here to give you all

New Year's greetings!"

"Firecrackers bid farea to the old pay, Snowf coeveral, the old spas

, s

​​ly the old slweents sthr

. audience member

will make a fortune!"

Your cheers are making me reflect.

I should have performed this at the Spring Festival Gala!

Anyway, I started

learning how to be relaxed

. Started

learning

to be relaxed tense.

I found a tutorial

called

"Easily Achieve a Sense of Relaxation,

Just Need to Complete

These 21 Things Every Day."

I need to speak quickly today

because I still have 16 things left to do.

Iave rellowinged

.

relaxation influencers,

all their videos

are desperately trying

to show how effortless they are.

There's this one relaxation influencer,

all of his videos are just

him playing golf, horseback riding, rink, os are

just him

playing golf, horseback riding, rinkse, os are justing the playing riding, horseback riding, rink, playing riding, horseback riding, rink ,

playing "relaxing" activities,

his WeChat step count is at least

20,000 steps,

48,000 if he doesn't ride horses.

Even...

At the end of each video,

he even shouts,

saying "True relaxation is understanding

that there's nothing you must do."

This supposedly relaxed influencer

posts daily.

Isn't that something he sooo at sooo s s

daily. Isn't that

something he svid svid the s , hvid s , a something he , do.

"Friends, please give me a like."

I never like his posts

because there's nothing

I must do.

There's an influencer...

There's a relaxation influencer

whose video with over 10,000 likes

is about hisencer whose video with over 10,000 likes is about

his is.com real

？

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​searching for travel tips,

I knew something was off

when one guide warned,

"Be extremely careful,

theft in Spain,

robbery in France."

I wondered if these were special tourist attractions.

After arriving, oura saidsaidsaids resriving, 片語 arrivings, 片語 armeraidsaids t arrivings,

片語real theft,

you must experience

the craftsmanship of old Spain."

Spain's reputation for pickpocketing is well-deserved.

On my first day there,

my

portable

WiFi was stolen

。 post

saying "Warning:

In Spain,

these ten items are most likely to be stolen."

I thought, I better check this out quickly,

but suddenly I

could

n't open

也會

。 a summer afternoon

lying on Spanish grass

for an entire day.

Impossible!

You can't possibly lie there,

it's too hot.

The city I visited

could reach temperatures of 45 degrees.

Do

you know 45 degre

gre someone walking their dog,

and the dog was hopping along.

I wondered if

it was actually a kangaroo.

Visiting Spain,

I was hot as hell.

And 45 degrees wasn't even the worst part. The as hell. And 45 degrees wasn't even the worst part.

The scariest to culum scarium leaden sadina

sh ;

weather forecast would never go above 45 degrees.

In other words,

no matter how hot it actually was outside,

if you checked the forecast,

it would say 45 degrees.

It was so hot outside

that an old say 45 degrees.

It was

so hot

outside that an old man mot. If

an old man can catch fire at 45 degrees,

he

must have

had

a

very

洛down briefly,

or you lie down forever.

You might plan to rest briefly,

but end up staying forever,

lying next to the white phosphorus grandpa,

getting instantly cremated.

Without a trace.

Later I asked a howfri, instantly cremated.

Without a

trace

。

"Look at Su Shi."

He was demoted multiple times in his life

but he didn't care at all

and continued his lavish spending

buying 300 lychees to eat every day.

It's because he was relaxed

I saidsaid 'Thats, saids, quarts was relout quartsaidsaid quarts sadly, quetsaids, quartsh

. Su Dongpo.'

Everyone, only after reading the book carefully did I realize

let me share some knowledge with you.

Su Shi, who supposedly didn't care at all

about being demoted,

wrote nearly 200 poems after his first demotion to Huangzhou

just to express

how much

he did

n't

care about being demoer

。 many times?

Maybe he just wanted more content.'

The Emperor asks, 'Is Su Shi still writing?'

'No, he's not.'

'Demote him to Hainan then.'

Then later I thought,

if I really can't lsom the

In .

shouldn't care so much about

what others think.

Think about my idol, Van Gogh.

He also endured

endless criticism and attacks throughout his life,

but he

didn't red at all because

when people sp是 people sph

.

but not with his left.

But in my process of learning to be relaxed,

I really learned something

that I want to share with everyone.

I

think

true relaxation

is having

the freedom to choose your own lifestyleclife

on

life

. about it,

Van Gogh too,

it was because

he freely chose his own lifestyle

that he ultimately became Van Gogh.

So today,

I want to openly admit

that the reason I am Liu Yang as I am now isholdcise that the reason

I

am

Liu Liu Yang who will never learn to relax.

Thank you everyone.

Hello everyone, I'm Liu Yang.

I guess I'm back on this stage again.

As you all know,

last year I participated in two

booklent s.

Iw

book .

called

'Am I the Only One Who Feels Offended?'

And then.

But honestly, I got many more opportunities.

So many opportunities that

now I can even act

in

some

TV shows and movies.

A

while ago, I even fared in a them

. my role

was really too small.

The role was so small that,

let me put it this way,

if you

want to see

my character in the theater,

I'd have to go with you.

I'd sit next to you

and when the moment

or

. character,

that's how small it was.

But honestly,

these opportunities are very rare.

But I'm the kind of person who,

whenever an opportunity is rare,

I feel unworthy of

it

。

anything.

I was afraid that if I did anything,

they would replace me.

I even,

I'm not kidding, really,

I didn't even dare to eat.

The

staff said,

Mr. Liu, please have some lunch

。

say, 'This actor is actually eating?'

Get rid of him immediately

and bring someone without a mouth instead.'

I was extremely nervous

especially

when I saw that microphone.

My first time filming

they sabout sawics they

allk film they ​​hk film they sow filers they all pow filers they all

res stressful.

It wasn't for any other reason

it was because it was too far away from me.

I kept thinking, with the mic so far away

if my lines weren't picked up

they'd th place it was my fault placeas they'd th place it was thault

splace .

thought was

that while filming

I should try to stay as close to it as possible.

So whenever I spoke, I'd be like

'What are you trying to do?'

And then they'd say

'What are you doing?

Suddenly wanting to kiss me?' That's what they thought.

But sometimes

the mostress parttime part's that they thought. But sometimes the mostm parttimes the mostress the party thatm

sometimes the mostm

parttimes the mostress party sthought。 skin.

It sticks right on your skin

which was really stressful

because I sweat a lot.

So the mic wouldn't stay attached at all

because I sweat so much.

Of course, it's not my fault

it's my genes to blame

because my surname is Liu

and the dynasty when the Lius were emperors was

the Han Dynasty.

What does that mean?

Sweaty and damp.

Whenever they attached the mic

as soon as it was on my body

it would slide down to my belly as it was on

my body it would slide down to my belly sdr

opimty

sdrect

we've heard enough from the mouth

let's hear

what the belly button has to say.'

And it would fall down every single time.

How did I discover this?

It was the director

after shooting

a few takes

he came

to meter

expressions and movements are perfect

but if

you have any issues with our script

could you please discuss it with us?

Don't just delete lines.'

I said, 'Am I crazy?

I only have three lines in to I craee line an crazys? I only have three lines in to I craee lines mest craee lines 到 I

craee

) something?

Fine, I'll explain.

He said, 'Watch the playback'

and when I did

oh my goodness, everyone.

I didn't just delete lines

I was making strange noises too.

When the mic slips down

my voice start strange noises too.

When the mic

s 。

silence

there's this angry growl from my throat

just sitting there

Because my mic was falling off

Whenever I speak, it's like

'How do you look today'

The reason for thatoat s was was was

my was

was

was hadn't eaten

I didn't eat the boxed lunch

I almost got a boxed lunch

Then I told the sound engineer

I said, 'Teacher

can you help me fix this

what should I do about it constantly fall downs wve' The Lius

, wve's wvedly falls,

wve '

something good for you'

'This is really strong'

I said, 'I'm not touching anything strong

I just entered the film industry

trying to ruin my career?'

'Don't think because I'm from stand-up comedive

that Ileution ​​hrem from stand

- up comedive that

Ileution'm has lead-up-upal'm

lead said, 'No

this is a chest strap

it holds really tight'

I said, 'Speak clearly

how many years would that get you?'

So anyway

what is this chest strap? Wells

, everyone, it's So anyway what is this chest strap? Wells, everyone

,

it 's

tightly around your chest

and fastens securely

It holds the mic

directly clipped to the chest strap

no matter how much you sweat

I said, 'That's amazing'

He said, 'What's even b said, 'That's amazing' He said, 'What's even b is in the Iire on saids're on sh s in

the

Ile

見到better make good use of it

The next day

with my

lines

I

gave

the

dir

？

very good

your expressions and movements were on point

your lines were especially clear

but...'

'If you want to change the character's personality

could you please discuss it with us first

instead of ma suchd

bold Id

saids, No ;

'Didn't you turn him into

a complete pervert?'

I said, 'No, Director

I don't understand

I come here

and either I'm cutting lines to even numbers

or turning characters into perpers cutting line I even numbers or turning characters into perpers aid ama someinds aidsd,

the

mkd

. playback'

When I watched the playback

Everyone,

I'm such a weirdo.

I'm such a weirdo.

Everyone, but here's the thing.

I didn't start out being weird,

it was a gradg cess.

Howd

out

cess .

muscles in the morning

are pumped with blood,

very full and defined.

So the chest strap comes here,

bam, and gets really tight.

I don't

even need

to tighten the mic,

I just use my pecs,

bam, andclamp

itfulls

. pecs is harder

than seeing my character on screen.

Anyway, in the morning

it's extremely tight,

but as

the muscle pump subsides,

my muscles shrink back a bit.

So my chest strap

starts to my muscles shrink back a bit.

So my chest strap starts

to my muscles backslips 3', est strap fall completely,

it just slips a bit.

So I noticed in playbacks

when I'm saying my lines,

I have these unconscious movements.

When I deliver my lines, I'm like,

'Why doyou look sow you look thingre , thingis's can

you look 5ook you l

me in the eye?

I mean, this is really hard to look at.

And the key thing is I can't

explain it to everyone

because I'm the only one in the crew who has it.

I can't just say before

shet say

before

mic.'

People would just say,

'Teacher Liu calls his bra

Mike.'

Not only wearing women's underwear,

but naming the underwear,

and giving it a man's name.

Mike.

At least call it

Michelle

。 time.

I told the sound engineer,

I said, 'Teacher,

look at this Michelle problem,

can you fix it?'

The sound engineer said,

'I really can't do anything,

let's just leave said, 'I really can't do anything, let's just leave ity mot can't like y ll fm un​​ywem scangem like un​​y can punununwem un 月,

youp

. shoulders,

then it won't slip.'

I said that would look

even more like it.

From behind it would look identical.

From the front people would think I'm wearing

it

backwards

。

Fortunately, everyone,

the good news is,

my character wasn't replaced in the end

because it was completely cut out.

It was completely cut out.

When I heard

the bad news,

I oughough completely cut out

. When I heard the bad news,

I thought to myf thought per

leh thr.com already signs.

At that time,

I couldn't tell you which movie it was,

but it doesn't matter now,

it's been cut,

and nobody knows which movie it was anyway.

Now whenever

I eat lychees, I

eat

.

Liu Yang cry?

In that moment,

I secretly swore to myself,

I said someday,

I'll eat my fill of crew box lunches. And if

that day really comes,

I hope I can give everyone

a proper reintroduction.

Hello everyone,

my

name is Liu

am

.

Yang,

thank you.

Hello everyone,

I'm Master Liu Yang.

Actually, from last year until now,

some changes have happened,

I had laser eye surgery for my nearsightedness.

Can tell all tell

(

yous tell whom tell

w

. 。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​surgery was really like.

Once I searched,

I found all kinds of opinions.

Seriously, folks.

Some posts claimed

that after SMILE laser surgery,

night vision deteriorates

and you can't focus properper any man

Others sat the article

sh.

and start their second life.

There was another post saying

after getting SMILE laser surgery,

they immediately regretted it.

When I clicked on it,

they regretted

not

doing

it sooner。 procedure.

To be honest, everyone,

when I heard it was a German clinic,

I felt a little bit excited about it.

Because I had heard

many urban

legends about Germany before

。

you about it.

The most famous one is

the story of Qingdao's sewer system.

Have you all heard of it?

(

No)

You came to the right place,

after you leave today,

you'll

be

the mostsnowledgeable person aboutsda clogged

for all these years.

No matter how heavy the rain,

whoosh, it just drains away

.

The Bohai Sea could be there

, whoosh, it just drains away. Sometimes

a

car

密碼back then.

They say it was built so well

that when one sewer pipe

broke down one day,

when they opened up that sewer,

all

the sewer workers in Qingdao

were

completely stunned 。

couldn't fix it,

so they had to call the Germans.

Strangely enough,

they couldn't fix sewers,

but they could speak German.

After calling, they cursed at the Germans saying.

* ￥88c.c. 8,

nowkee,

the 當前。

panic.'

'Sewers are bound to break eventually.'

'We anticipated this outcome years ago.'

'So we dug a hole'

'3 meters away from the sewer'

'where we buried the spare parts.'

Open that hole

and you'lll falr

.

there really was an oilpaper package.

Once they unwrapped it,

it contained the sewer parts.

After replacing them,

the sewer was as good as new.

My goodness, everyone,

this

story is completely dical. My goodironence

ul

. are already taking notes,

like I'm some expert on German sewage systems.

Please don't believe it.

But honestly,

as ridiculous as this story is,

when you're about to see a German doctor

for surgery,

you kind of hope

it's true.

Because if it were true,

folks, my eyo

wuch be s.

, sut,

let

. doctors across the country are helpless.

No choice but to call the Germans.

I don't speak German,

so I have to find

a Qingdao sewer worker

to make the call to Germany.

The sewer worker calls and says:

* 8,8808, sells and says: * 8are

se

. ruined.

Danke.

The German says don't panic.

I knew your eyes would eventually fail.

So we dug a hole

3 centimeters from your cornea,

right there. What

you call

in

.

oilpaper package.

Once unwrapped,

you

'll find my cornea inside.

After replacing it, your eyes will be as good as new.

The German doctor was sentenced to life imprisonment

for illegally storing to

birl

. problem

wasn't about medical skills at all,

that wasn't a concern,

what worried me most was

how to communicate with the Germans.

My goodness,

our communication was something else.

In

Germans I donf

spf

ak .

tried to communicate,

I was completely stuck,

so I suggested we use English,

since I've taught English for over a decade.

German-accented English,

if spoken slowly, I should understand. German- accented English, if spoken slowly, I should understand.

Everym, the German Everx spoken slowly, I should was was wasa

, the G. Everycent was wasle wasle was was was

was was was wasle） issue!

I couldn't understand a single medical term.

The doctor described to me

the entire SMILE laser surgery procedure.

I didn't understand anything

from 'SMILE laser surgery' onwards. Engm estand anything from 'SMILE laser

surgery' onwards

.

is SMILE.

Does that sound like a surgical procedure?

While we were talking

he said to me 'SMILE'

and I just...

He said 'nein nein nein' (no no no).

You SMILE (meaning the said 'nein nein nein' (no no no

)

。

If I smiled any wider

it would hurt enough to make me cry, so...

Finally, I had no choice

I

found

a random nurse

in the hospital.

I said, 'Excuse me

could you please

be our interinterter?'

The

nianse

interl

. 30

have taught English for more than a decade

yet couldn't communicate in English.

That nurse looked barely over 20

but could translate German

so I was extremely respectful.

I said to the nurse, 'Umwill you ypledh you yple, 'Um less you shpled you

ypleleh

you '

nurse asked the doctor

'Will his

night...

will...

will it be se...

will it be severe?'

I said, 'What part of that

couldn't I have said myself?' The most nerve-wracking part was the day of said myself?'

The most

nerve-wracking part was the I ally part was the Irem part was the Iperday part was the Ially parts

was extremely worried

about potential risks.

Everyone, you should understand

I couldn't bear

the risks of laser eye surgery

because we already have

a blind stand-up comedian.

Not only place he ind 集 mhih ready

or

集 midth 區this bit last year.

If something went wrong for me

it would literally be

a waste

of my eyesight.

So I kept asking the nurse

I said, 'Um

could you tell me again about the risks

are there any risk?'

The

nurse said wally signr

. risks

just follow the post-operative care instructions

here, take this post-op care package.'

As soon as I took the package

I said, 'Oh

I know what this is

here comes the bad news.'

I opened the package

and this

is here comes

the bad news. ' I opened the ses package and this isactrel wasevery the airyger. blind person would wear.

I said, 'Tell me again

about there being no risks

you'd better tell me these sunglasses

are only meant to tell me...'

His night blindness was cured at your hospital, sooo

then

.

really has nothing to worry about.

If you have any concerns, feel free to ask.

So I said, let me ask you,

what if during the surgery

I blink my eyes?

If I blink,

you might cut my thiselike If

I blink, you

might cut my thiseling If I blink, you might cut my thisel .

He said, 'Mr. Liu,'

his exact words.

'Mr. Liu, you really don't need to worry,

during the surgery

we'll have something to keep

your eyes open.'

I said, 'You'd bave

really keep your eyes open.' I said

, 'You'd bile really keepn

. said, 'Mr. Liu, look,

this is the dragon head from the Old Summer Palace.'

I went, 'Wow!'

Quick, cut Mr. Liu's eyes!

Snip, snip,

all done.

Later I realized I was overthin, everyone,

just

.

surgery,

the German doctor told me

the operation was successful.

The translator came running over.

The surgery was successful.

During my final check-up,

the doctor told me

that

my recovery was anlent

. '

Congrat

p

.

'There's a but?

Didn't we say everything was fine at first?'

I asked, 'But what?'

He said, 'But... you'll

be 38 by the end of the year.

Around 40,

you'll start experiencing precious

.

said, 'No,

just wear glasses and you'll be fine.'

Thank you everyone, I'm Master Liu Yang,

thank you all.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Liu Ziming.

Now I can tell you

This year,

two

shows at the slywoo ......

p

.

I was on these two shows last year.

Sometimes you went to New Year's Eve continuously.

New Year's Eve.

What's wrong with this stage?

Don't tell me

going to be a director lawoter with this stage? Do

n't tell me going to be a

director

later you

w . carrying

two platforms

a mission to

live

in

harmony

. I

'm

not

even

Chief

。

didn't want to treat it.

Because sometimes when I walk,

can you help me

if there's a car in the back.

But it's different recently.

It's ringing recently.

When you bend your legs,

when you bend your legs.

I have to go to the hospital.

A friend of mine

recommended me a specialist account.

Special need expert.

500 yen.

Everyone, I'm expin uan need expert

.

you'd better tell me

I've never heard of.

If you say you're old,

I'm not leaving.

That expert really deserves his reputation.

I didn't know until I got to him

the symptoms of my skull tr​​anst is until I got to

him the symptoms of my skull tr​​anst

is

aid

.

you'd better get surgery immediately.

That's great.

Where is the best person

in your hospital?

He said he was right in front of you.

Then come to me.

My knees are applauding for you

.

Now

It

you .

down,

I didn't lie at all.

His knees are louder than mine.

Please get up.

This specialist is...

Which one is weak?

Just recommend me

to me.

He explained to me

why

his kne on were

getne

.

Because his knees were too loud.

Neither of us

walk in the room at the same time.

People say

It's swinging.

There are people from Tianjin.

At the same time,

he said you can choose rehabtation socin same time, he said you

can 。

outside of the thigh.

Push your knees back.

I chose this.

This is perfect.

It's conservative,

but it doesn't hurt.

Wrong choice.

When I went to the rehabilitation department,

I felt something was wrongst went to the rehabilitation department, I

felt something was wrong 製作 like like

somel .

tortures.

There's no bed.

They are all torture tools. Put them there.

There's an old man

is playing the car split project.

Four people held him there.

I've never been to the rehabilitation. Four people held him there. I've never been to the rehabilitation department. Aken se

him

there .

rehabilitation department came over.

He used a membrane knife to relax my thighs.

Do you know the membrane knife?

The membrane knife is used

and the membrane knife,

I have a new understanding of my

my realr

.

broke me down.

He shaved

a small tank.

With this shave,

I said, I'll go.

Did the knife open?

He said, "Does your leg still hurt?"

Hey

, is your leg still there?

He said, of course your leg wave you said, of

course

.

Give me that thing.

After scraping a few times,

It really works.

It doesn't hurt that much.

He said it doesn't hurt anymore.

That's great.

You're really amazing.

It doesn' anymore. That's great. You're really amazing. It doesn't hate

at .

Het

.

it with his elbow.

I thought

my elbow

Can it hurt more than a membrane knife?

He pressed me and said,

Oh, man.

This is a knife

No. Rehabilitation Department, rights?

Cheinne KangFu.

We can use . if Ireal Id if If 死音 have

. We can unit

if

. more new stories.

A talk show for the disabled.

It's time to wash the cards.

Press the first one for me.

I didn't feel pain.

I saw my grandma directly.

Then press it.

I saw my other ancestors

my great grandma,

Liu Bei, Liu Bang.

Liu Bang said

the wind is blowing and the clouds are flying.

If this continues,

hexhe or the clouds are

flying. If

； despite the pain.

Is this the right time to talk?

He was talking to me.

He said, "Does it hurt?"

Are you blind?

He

said, "That's right."

People

Only three parts.

It hurts the most.

First,

Trident ve

pache

. unbearable.

Second,

with hemorrhoids.

It's known as a lumbar clinging dragon.

A drop of sweat will sting.

It's unbearable.

Third,

I have to count the kidney stones.

What does this this to on aid leger lids I ,

said have to you said have to I emaid have to I em said have to you

said have to I emaid have to my said have to you said have to I em said have to my said have to I emaid have to I emaid have to you said have to I emaid have to I em said have to my said have to my said have to you said have to I em said have to I said have of you said have to I 三 like , 分析

。 ignorant when it hurts?

I need you to tell me.

He also thinks this is wrong.

He started to ask about me. The question is done.

He's asking me questions about me.

Brother, it hurts so​​l

.

Dont

. asked me,

every question he asked me.

I didn't have time to make up lies.

He asked me

What do you do?

Hey, comedian.

A comedian?

I took part in some variety shows

and left of thef per

wonlywem

集 .

a new teacher.

Now I've become a good student.

A happy weekend for our child.

Do you guys

very humorous?

I said it's very humorous

He often makes

people

laugh with one sentence. Really.

You 're

sfried

.

why didn't he pierce his ears?

He said he was afraid that it would hurt.

Guys, I don't know if you have

who are afraid of piercing their ears.

If there is,

I have a

sugges pterm

.

doesn't matter.

Push your legs.

Bro

piercing his ears

Hit both sides.

Earbone nail

Nose nail, nose ring.

A tattoo.

wisdom teeth.

Four wisdom teeth.

The appendix is alsopoint cut. isdom teeth. Four wisdom teeth. The

appendix

is

alsopoint

cut

。

training is so painful.

Can you imagine how painful my knees are?

Not at all.

Not at all.

It just rings.

It

's just a noisy knee.

Can

it be louder than me?

That day, my whole life was lightened

. solved

in your life,

Don't solve them.

Just put it there.

Because sometimes it costs more

to

solve

it.

Just like me now.

I spend one day every week

to

do rehabilitation training.

Six

day left. Chief Liu Zheng.

It's the first round of the Final.

Last year, in the first round of the Final,

in the Final.

We're almost there.

This year is totally different.

You'll know after bitding the .

The dounderence this showerent

. shows.

I'll do it one by one.

I lose every time.

I'm going to the waiting room.

Just like going home.

The only thing I'm waiting for

is to introduce

to the newcomers.

Tell them

You can get water here.

You can use your phone.

You

're crying here.

No one can find out.

Oh my god

。

myself.

I'm thinking

I'm not suitable for a talk show.

But big data understands me.

That night, Xiao's book

to me that night.

Come and sign up as the audience.

At that moment, was wasn't

book book

.

me for the first time.

It kept pushing me

a combination shampoo.

I hope I can buy it.

A combination shampoo

It's shampoo and shower

Because it thinks

I'm a lazy person.

When I take a shower Because it thinks I'm a lazy person. When I take a aider, I press't

wttle

sat towhe hearter,

I it thinks

it didn't bother me.

So he started to recommend

a combination shampoo.

Shampoo shampoo,

shower

, and hair care combination.

It's hard for you to imagine who doesn't separate shampoo and shower.

Het

.

thing is

to recommend

a combination shampoo.

Fifth combination.

Shampoo.

Wash my face.

I dare not buy it.

I'm afraid after I buy it,

when I open the box,

is a soap.

Andpry

I had a myopic s

.

sweat.

But I really like fitness.

Then a book recommended me

a perfect solution.

It recommends me

when I work out.

swimming glasses.

Everyone. Have you ever worn a mask to work out?

My eys.

There s water in

sca

.

Sweat can't get into my eyes.

No one can enter this gym.

When people come in and say,

I'll go.

Is the gym

Is the water so deep?

Why don't I

carry an oxygen bottle

I'llal two 7 wear wear sly wearly lloxygen bottle I'll tear

two

7

wla 。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​me if you knew?

It recommends me to wear this mask

when I take a shower.

Everyone, this is really

touched my bottom line.

I'm thinking if I don't wear it,

Just

close your ey thinking if I do

n't wear it, Just close your ey

. my eyes closed.

I close my eyes.

Water wet my body.

When I was about to wash my hair,

I found

I can't tell which is shampoo.

I regret not buying that.

a combination shampoo.

At that moment,

I

emronl .

the wrong shampoo.

I was going to take shampoo

to get the shampoo.

I was thinking

there is no Braille on shampoo.

Not even a Braille.

It's useless to have Braille.

There are many places with Braille.

can't solve the nave Braille. There are many places with

Braille

。 on the button.

Then the blind will know

Which floor should I press?

It's perfect.

But can you please

and give her a voice message?

Tell them

Which floor is it parked now?

If you stop a few more times

when the elevator door opens If

you

stop a few more times when the elevator door openelator kere s .

There are blind boxes outside the elevator.

Blind people can only guess.

Go to the 20th floor.

After pressing it,

It stopped four or five times in the middle.

I guessed four or five times.

I cant times in the middle. I guessed four or five times

.

I

cant times. shocked.

Tell me, I'll go.

Blind people need to drive?

The blind

And I think

this is the world.

It's always close.

almost solved the problem.

Just like my life.

Me too.

Imost

to was protect myf . ISdm to fm. Mem to

wasm to was

protect

myf

. abroad.

And I said

it's not safe abroad.

I just checked

how to defend myself abroad.

They recommended me

to buy a pair of fingers abroad.

Tiger

?

I don't know if you

've

seen

it.v.

attack

of

that

事

。

​

​

​

​

​

​buy it,

I can only put it in my bag. In my

bag,

it won't

have

any meaning

of

。

stuck.

Sir, wait a moment.

Darn it. Another stab.

Brother!

Stop it.

Brother.

There's a cloth bag inside.

Why are there so many ropes?

Brother.

Stop it.

The rope is stuck.

Pull so many ropes? Brother. Stop

it . The rope is

stuck

。

protect

myself

.

Heaven

iQIYI

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

a national name and a martial arts name.

It sounds amazing.

What Brazil jutsu?

Ba-rou.

Thai boxing.

Then I thought about it.

if I wanted to protect myself,

if I want to protect myself? I

pricem

the b

.

see

Bolt got beaten?

Not even once.

The fist over there

Bolt is 20 meters away.

If you want to hit Bolt,

you need to

inject

stimulant first.

And I can prove

running is the best way to htect

to

ourst 。

There was a history

During the slave system,

Every day,

from Africa.

and the strongest athlete

to the US Continent.

So all the

the best sports genes

in the US Continent.

So what are you looking at?

The rugby champion is in America

in

asket .

marathon

In Africa,

running is the best way to protect yourself.

But even the best way to defend yourself

Almost.

Because

the shoes I usually wear

are like this.

I can't run fast.

If I bring sneakers in can this.Ahenf can 遊戲

, somem 0000m in

0m

區okay. You're here again.

Hey

He stabbed me again.

It's the wound from last time.

It's a tiger.

I can't use this anymore.

Why are there so many things?

Shampoo, shower.

I rould's this

bin

's

bin'sh .

manuscript

I don't need it anymore.

Brother, take it.

Brother, take it.

to win the championship for me.

Look at my body and say,

I can't win the championship even if I get the manuscript.

If I really wect to flyect pavel, Bect to

lemo

. can fly.

Because I remembered

a classic failure case.

In Greek mythology,

in Greek mythology.

Ikalos

, as you all know,

he has a pair of wax-made wings.

And he flies too high.

The

sun melted his wings

. in my opinion,

he has many excellent strengths.

For example,

he loves flying.

He goes forward bravely.

He yearns for freedom.

In my opinion, his only weakness

is that 它

doz atwe

它

. look at the result,

he is indeed

a tragic character.

But if we only look at the process,

he's just

who loves flying.

This season is over.

Thank you so much for the last two seasasons. Iope I so much for the last two seasons. Iope I so much

sion

s .

Liu Zheng.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

He came all the way to show off.

My teeth hit the microphone just now.

The Final.

I'd like to talk about

about the changes this year.

First of all,

an obvious honn,

Inwogram, Iwogram,

probgram,

an

obvious bit.

I'm pretending now.

You know

When answering reporters' questions.

The reporters asked

how it feels

How does it feel?

Hey.

Uh...

It's

a sense of weightlessness.

What does

he mean ?

He's just floating

m

. a father this year.

Thank you.

I have a son.

named Ye.

His birth is very interesting.

Let me tell you.

He was born on April 30.

Let me tell you.

April 30 is

International Nobornren's Day.

gave me

signal .

don't celebrate the festival.

I have a cold knowledge

with you.

You're right on the scene.

A baby who just had a full moon.

He can't talk.

Many people don't know about this.

In the first full moon,

wey people don't know about this. In the first full moon, weelst pull

片 .

man insisted on asking my son.

How old are you?

How old are you?

Tell me.

How rude.

I'm sorry, sir.

This kid

is very bad at heling.

He can't talk. He can cry a lot.

He cant I heling. He can't talk

. He can cry a lot. He

cant hel.

You hold her and cry.

Comfort the baby and cry.

You toss it here and he cries.

He cries with one hand.

He dribbles the ball and cries.

I don't know what to do.

When he cried the most,

I suddenly realized

Oh no.

I'll take the train with him.

I'll be edrething're mewee. I'llo about him. I'll aboutrecanref

書 .

is

on the highway,

If I write a story about me,

I'll be done for.

My son is just embarrassed.

I even lost my part.

So I came up with a strategy.

Guoguo and I will take the high-speed train togese

I

. else.

Pretend you don't know my son.

When my son cried,

I stood up.

Whose kid?

The kid is crying beside me.

No one

can cheer me up. one is

coaxing me.

No one

can cheer me up. No one is

coaxing

me 。 just warm-hearted.

I don't usually help.

I don't even know this kid.

How old are you?

How old are you?

And

...

Ever

since I had a child,

I started to understand

on high-speedeed and

plans

. quiet.

They coax them at home.

They can't comfort them at all.

Can you stop broadcasting your phone?

Stop it.

We won't do it after this.

Yes.

Damn big data.

Put it in your mouth it in your.

It's big data. Put

it in your mouth p'sl. it.

It can't be helped.

He can't stand up

like me.

Whose phone is this

No one wants it.

No one wants it.

No

way

. Someone will want it.

He

can only tell others to say

say volume

上

。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​dissolved.

For example, I once

my best friend's wedding.

I was really touched on the stage.

I sat on the table

my tears rolled in my eyes.

Then someone

next to me asked,

Are you touched

?

ey .

level

But when you have a child,

when you're really emotional,

you found that your level of humor

Your level is declining.

No one understands.

When he was born,

I waited in front of the de very room.

My li而且

room

I was very anxious in front of the delivery room

I don't know when the baby will be born

There won't be a countdown.

Put it there. Three, two, one.

You

're

a father, aren't youf There's

wandm

. heard a baby crying.

Is this a baby crying

Or a cat?

Season is also the season for cats.

The nurse said

Mr.

Liu, you can come in.

I said there was a cat in my house.

The nursese told mean I cat in

.

Let me see if my wife is safe.

That's great.

I said let me take a look at my son.

pointing at something red.

Say this

I said "Ho".

This is me, my God.

Why are you...

It's hard to describe

It's a hairless cat.

Just throw it over there.

A baby

The fetus hair

like this.

It feels like

by the world.

I can't control my lim. S facearound

.

And his world. I ca

n't control my

limth. S facearound. Andrink facesaround. ancestors.

The whole baby

When I look at the baby,

I said, "Hey."

I'm from Beijing.

My reason tells me

this kid is so ugly.

Oh my god. So ugly.

My emotion tells me

so ugly. Oh my god. So ugly. My

emotion tells me he

's so .i god. intertwine,

my tears flushed.

Tears roll in my eyes.

Then the nurse asked me

if I had a name.

I did.

Red-Haired Gorilla.

It's cold.

The delivery room is frozen.

The

nurse

ward '

surname Hong?

At least...

I said you're not surnamed Hong.

You like it.

Chen Xinhong.

Since the birth of this joke,

since I was born.

But this is a love letter

a love letter to Chen Xinhong.

And heasi in

inj .

maternity center

and put it at the nurse station.

a row of glass walls.

and a row of babies at the back.

The nurse is there to take care of them.

I'll visit him at night.

I lay on the glass.

Hey, on My visit 問題 the night.

I lay on

the glass. Hey, on

. wall.

Dad.

Keep appealing.

When I was touched,

when my eyes were twitching,

the nurse came out and said,

What are you doing here?

Well,

I'm here to pick a baby.

The nurse di's accept the joke'm here on I baby. The nurse di's accept the

jokesaids

s

. sweet.

How old are you?

He's so quiet.

It's so awkward.

But after he was born,

my parents came to see him.

My parents came to see him.

My parents are in their himsix to They'ame to see him. My parents are in their sixties to The'ame

to

see. him.

They were playing in the wild.

I was confused at that moment.

I was totally confused.

Because this is

my son

just like me when I was young.

When my parents were teasing him, Ithisd young. When my parents were teasing him

,

Ithisdly

young

.

teasing me when I was a baby.

It was bad in an instant.

I realized

I was wondering

the crying baby

It's me.

That

the immature instant

me.

It was me who made my parents

more gray hair sooo me.

It

was me who made my parents more gray hairo swse gray'h wourse gray somem

到 more gray huse

more。 was thinking

I couldn't express my love

because I couldn't speak.

After he can talk,

I told my parents.

So one moment,

don't try to say anything to my parents.

I can't say it.Ttry

to say anything to my parents. I ca

n't say in sthr

. turned around and said,

What's wrong?

Hey.

he looks like

a red-haired gorilla.

Thank

you. I'm Chief Liu Zheng.

Thank you.

(Liu Zheng)

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

I

'm very happy

I'm

. comedy shows.

and got some

some small achievements.

Okay, great achievements.

After achieving something,

I was very happy.

Because I think it's great.

more people know me.

You can finally

my old works.

I didn't expect

everyone would ed about me.

more old works didn't expect everyone would ed about me. more old works. My

fo

and

age .

websites

。

​

​

​

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​

​

​

​

​

​who's draining it for?

If this continues,

I'll sign the show.

I'll change the name first.

I won't call it

"King of Comedy Single Season".

You have to remember the word "King of Comedy". The) s a​​alk the Iask s a​​hronh wasre's aious eovre wasre's

arem

wasre

's

aious

. comedian?

Why did you learn English from him?

The blogger also answered seriously

You don't understand.

Learning English like this

It's like

underground style.

I'm very emotional, everyone.

It's my first time. I'm very emotional, everyone

. It's

my

first time 。

just realized that...

it's an underground teacher.

His personal message has changed too.

Now

I

receive

more than 30 private messages every day.

are all English questions.

I'm very emotional

。

fans asked me]

I...

Of course, my personal messages

is not like this.

The private messages

Because I've been talking about

for ten years.

There used to be many private messages

in

private

messages

。 unhappy.

I remember a private message.

I still remember what he said.

Because he was so unique.

He scolded

the second half

the first half.

I made up a joke online.

He came over and said Dosyou over

and said

you

.

記憶

。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​said.

Let me repeat it for you.

Everyone

I told you

I bought a pack of peanuts.

Just

a big bag of peanuts

In a transparent bag

Each one is full of peanuts.

The

noodles

are written with the first name

with

puts putsr .

There's a line of words on its back.

An allergic hint.

Attention, in this item,

contains peanuts.

I mocked you.

I said you are extra.

Who are you showing it to?

I

got scolded. Somegoone

inted

.

my head

The tone of imagination.

In fact, he is...

And...

He said, "Hey."

Is this a joke?

Do you know

a person who is allergic to peanuts

After listening to your story,

I let my guard down.

and ate peanuts.

Can you take responsibility if something happens?

I may offend you in the talk show,

but please respect him.

The end of the private message is him.

He vomited blood.

I was

shocked

people who are allergic to peanuts?

That's him.

Because in my eyes,

a person who is allergic to

peanuts is at least

a normal human.

In his eyes,

a person who is allergic

to

putsuts One

ate putsr .

written on the front.

peanuts.

How do I look inside?

Why is it peanuts?

Take one and ask the foreigners.

What's this? What is this?

The foreigner said

This

is peanuts .

And people

who

peanuts.

Everyone, if I'm allergic to peanuts,

I won't even touch

in my life.

I don't even read Sherlock Holmes.

I just opened a book

It says

Sherlock Holmes walked into the room.

A soldier

. 等

,

hism

. assistant.

Screw you!

You want to kill me?

But some people also say

But this is just a manufacturer.

to avoid taking responsibility.

No, everyone.

If it's just a sentence,

you canres oid you canres

s .

one

-

sided

comedy

。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​seen

very ironic.

It's called criticism.

will make you progress.

Just get scolded.

Everyone, here's the thing.

Maybe criticism will make you progress.

But

now

the Internet

on

the Internet.

80

percentages

. float in a fast way.

Trash.

Think about it.

If those masters

If I'm still alive,

no one can be more successful.

will be cursed to death.

Can you imagine Van Gogh living until now?

Van Gogh started dra

7

.

years old.

Suicide at the end of the year.

I don't even want the year-end bonus.

Van Gogh drew a sunflower.

I can imagine

what he looks like on Weibo.

Van Gogh put a sunflower.

He said it's not asserby

a .

you don't know.

Who likes Van Gogh?

Is this a sunflower?

Eat something nice

Family

One ear to avoid lightning.

Van Gogh disappeared on the spot.

Van Gogh didn't even finish drawing

the

sunflower

。 allergic to them."

I've been thinking too much.

It's even worse to live till now.

Can you imagine

Qu Yuan is still alive?

Everyone.

If Qu Yuan

with Weibo,

The Dragon Boat Festival.

Qu Yuan.

The first time

On the day of the

p

.

Qu Yuan posted on Weibo.

So angry.

I was isolated by Duke Chu Huai again.

Someone below.

Who asked you?

Don't you feel responsible

Aren't you responsible?

Why diothers he push oids out?

Just you responsible? Why diother't

he push oids

out? Just you Inj.

fish ate Quyuan's body,

and tied those who scolded him

into dumplings

Then throw it into the river

Throw it and say it.

Happy Dragon Boat Festival.

Some people talk while being eaten fish.fish.

I'm the on ome people talk

while being eaten fish.fish. I'm the

on , khol .

The criticism is meaningful.

But it's meaningless to scold.

If you really want to scold me,

I suggest

you should at least scold him in English.

At least you can

memorize the words.

Say, but I'll Engold you least you can memorize the words. Say, but I'll old you least you. I youmorize the

words

。

It's an underground teacher.

Please pay attention.

Remember the word "King of Drama".

Thank you.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

As you know,

I've been filming two variety shows recently. 15

and I've been Shijing and two variety One s

recently.

know when you fly too much,

you'll learn a lot.

I've learned a lot.

For example, the first time I met

in

economy class.

Have

you met

such a member?

I was surprised at the first

time

。 come and say

Hello, Mr. Li.

He's our distinguished VIP.

Let's do it the same way later.

When the plane takes off,

you drive.

The rest of you, fasten your seat belt.

Mr. Li drive. The rest of you, fasten

your seat belt. Mr. Li likes

it

. treatment

the VIP members enjoy?

Nothing.

The only treatment it enjoys is

the flight attendant will come and tell him

that everyone knows.

and then ran over.

That's the news. After he came here,

he

was starl

. me.

Then I stole the sense of dignity.

Keep an eye on Mr. Li.

Hello, Mr. Li.

You are

of our airline company.

The plane at the gate will

at the Seoul Airport.

The ground temperature is 23 degrees Celsius.

If the le'left left le

led

let .

special about this?

Mr. Li is also very hasty.

This is a gold card, right?

It's not respectable.

I thought I should help Mr. Li.

He just sat there and said

When will you arrive

I don't Linow the time has there and said When

will you arrive I do

n't 's has't dom y

至you wear your coat?

Are you wearing it or not?

Mr. Li obviously has a straight waist.

You can wear it.

But the key is this little information.

She was afraid that I would hear key is this little information. She was afraid

that I would hear it. the fame

to

jerm

. are our precious Kim

Mr. Lee, this way.

You are our precious Kim.

Mr. Li, you are...

Mr. Li, let me write it down for you.

It's killing me.

I've been complaining about the gold card

for a while.

I was

p pook p

.

an honorable member of the National Aviation.

I'm on the plane.

The flight attendant will be here soon.

I said don't come over.

The flight attendant said Mr. Liu

19.

I said no.

If the flight attendant tells me anything,

I will share it with you in time.

After listening,

I'll be there at 19 對

fever . ease the

embarrassment .

The flight attendant said something. I'll say something.

It's not that awkward.

The

flight

attendant said

hello

, Mr. Liu.

She's our

respected

VIP

。 問題 。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​ mountain

is

300

meters high,

everyone

. 100

meters

。

80 yuan

to our

fun

Enjoy VIP

A VIP set meal.

I said, "Of course I want it."

Have fun.

Playing card.

Then I upgraded.

It cost 80 yuan.

Do you know

The only thing that can have fis that can have

is that know The only thing that can have

fin is that the hassm the that can hem top that can have is that can hem

top ' seen a glass tunnel, right?

Between two small slopes,

between two small slopes.

You walk up and say,

I'm so scared.

It's just a piece of junk.

Do you want to play

Ofa course

. 80

uan

I. serious fear of heights.

I don't want to take a step up there.

People say it's 80 yuan.

Does it hurt so much?

Not taking a step.

But the problem is

my wife knows me well taking a step. But the probley is my wife knows

me well

.

won't be afraid.

I'll take off my glasses.

Everyone, I still have serious light dispersion.

When I take off my glasses,

The glass tunnel has changed into alee.

Three

times

the

fear 。

body is trembling.

A little bit forward

Everyone is shocked.

Are blind also afraid of glass passages?

It doesn't make sense.

In this situation,

there's a service

in my free set.

Free

photos

。

and trembling.

When you're sweating,

I have a thought.

It'd be nice if someone took a picture of me.

I'll

listen

with my eyes closed.

Chop , chop, chop.

That 's all

There's a house down the windows.

process.

I said it's too scary.

I wanted to leave.

The waiter told me

Mr. Liu, these wonderful moments

such wonderful moments?

These wonderful moments

you just need to spend 25 yuan

to

buy it back.

yuan.

He said he wouldn't buy it, so he hung it up.

I said buy it, boss.

Bro, let's discuss.

I've got a better card.

The most cost-effective card I've ever had

I went to theme had I park

for a theme park.

I won't advertise anymore.

So I won't tell you.

Which theme park is it?

When I went to see Mickey Mouse,

It's inside.

There's one advantage for Do-woo's speed card.

You

donfeel

.

up 無

。

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​you know.

When you meet each other,

you will

countless times.

You just keep circling.

He's always in front of you.

You'll be fine after three rounds.

Walking there

Jang.

You came to this theme park too? Meil​​​​l for

What

theo .

touch. See you later.

See you soon.

Jang, I came by plane.

The plane is tiring.

Eat Remember to eat

Then turn around

Let's eat now.

I'll tell you a way.

I developed it my .

In a sfriike tell you a way. I developed

it my youf In a

am

youf say the same thing,

But you can say it in another way.

I guarantee your friendship will last forever.

You used

the

same

way

in

the way of reading

books

。 too.

On the plane when I came

I suddenly heard

in the dark.

If you want to know who it is,

Let's split in the next circle.

Turn around.

A flight attendant.

The flight attendant said it soft around. A

flight attendant

. The flight attendant said it

softsoftly

po.m. Liu Zheng.

Hello, everyone.

Hello, I'm Liu Zheng.

Well,

I have a program

I'm doing it too.

And

in another

in another comedy prison.

When my show was aired,

someone knew I was on this show and my show shows aired, someone knew I was on this . and saidsaids sh was

on

. time

and you're still writing.

And I'm recording my own broadcasters.

I'm still doing my own special tour.

Are you rolling

because of your passion

or

I owe a nude loan?

I...

I justike

like 3d dustike lid

3ca

;

others.

I was so suffocated.

Everyone, I used to...

my first job

is in New East.

You know how curly it is.

It can be said

Oriental Real Scroll.

We have

We had a class before.

This is a trial class is. We have We had a class

before . This is a

trial class. The list) to list is

筆after listening.

The next class will do.

This class.

Let's start with the title.

To sell my class,

I'm going all out.

My title is

English reading understanding.

five secrets. In five,

30dive

,

reading

p

. of them.

No one bought my class.

I said let's take a look at the class of the sales champion.

I'm impressed by the title.

His title is the original text.

Reading understanding.

No more reading.

Brother,

How

reading.

I understand it by myself.

Ms. Joo Dan?

Did you take this class too?

And

I'll kneel down to you later.

And then?

There's one more class for the teacher.

This

class is called

the secs of English in pourive

. hours left.

What are you doing?

Studying English reading

Five secrets?

The cruelest is

the teacher rolled me.

One time, I was surprised that

this teacher

went to ten sales team leaders.

They gave or this teacher went to ten sales team leaders. They gave or

sooh .

everyone.

I was shocked.

The sales team leader was shocked too.

Take this.

My phone.

I feel guilty.

No one bought his class.

Why bother?

Isn't it good to give time?

I'm surprised too.? Isn't it good to give time? I'm surprised too.

To

surs .

won't sell my class.

Give me eight.

I can sell your class voluntarily.

Give me ten.

I'll participate, King of Comedy.

I sold your classes.

I kept thinking

I was wond

an one

如何 stonds woo

.

students

want to use the smallest effort

with the smallest effort.

I experienced it myself.

I have a student.

went to Yonghe Palace

I went to Yonghe Palace in Beijing

standing in front of a wishing pool.

He wung gain uanace in Beijing standing

in front of

a wishing .I went whom uan uanl

. pool and said,

I hope God can bless me

to get into Tsinghua.

How dare you?

If I were an immortal,

I would grab the coin.

Brother, really?

One yuan.

Go to Tsinghua

One yuan.

From

here to Tsingyuan

uanyuan

Tel

; killing me.

After I came to this industry,

This industry is more scrolling.

But the curls of the one-sided comedy industry

is polite.

We have a tacit understanding.

If you

experience

the s polite.m wurs

onet .

until now,

we're not only fighting for materials,

but also open microphone.

shared bike.

As long as I can get it,

no one can tell

How

far are we going?

You may not

beve

me 。

got on a shared bike.

All of us

can't believe their eyes.

except the dark light.

Lights.

I'll take the lights for him.

That's too much.

But in this industry,

in this industry.

Everyone. too much. But in this industry, in this industry. Everyone. Because I ride a shared

I

fast ibride

car fast.

Some locks fast.

But I dare not lock the car.

I roll like this.

I

got hit by a car

I don't mind being hit by a car.

I

rode

a

bicycle to open a microphone

。 up,

it won't stop me from scrambling.

I

'll

take

out

my

script

to

the nurse

。

A single-tongued comedian rarely goes to team building.

Because we go to team building.

No one plays.

We're always wary of each other.

Don't steal the materials.

Think about it.

the boss suddenly fell into the water,

No one will save him.

The

first

reactionis Look top .

person takes out the notebook,

Everyone

Take it out.

What are you doing?

Don't push me.

Let's write together.

I have to

to

mediate.

Stop fighting.

When the boss is done,

It looks like I'm farting 。

assistant from afar.

Write this down.

I rolled it like this.

Maybe after the stiff,

when I saw the water surface,

the boss was gone.

We won't save him now.

We will only

a coin

Thi in the water won't save him now.

We will

only a coin

Thin the water wons save him get s

.

Because in this era,

who would carry a coin

for such a situation?

I...

roll like this.

Not

only

did I make a wish and get a clip,

I also

made a wish to get a bottle.

to unify the green tea.a.

breeze

It's directly in sugar free.

I've written the business segments.

This is how I roll it.

Of course.

Of course, I roll like this

because I firmly believe

as a creator,

he is the

on way

p .

old,

I was competing with

with these actors.

I hope

I can really do it.

Sit up when you're dying.

Laughing.

Can I write this part?

Thank you, I'm Liu Zheng, the king of rolling. Thank part?

Thank ,

I 'm Liu Zheng,

the king of

rolling。

The last scene.

The audience didn't know.

I was the second in the last scene.

Then

why

did

I

sit there?

Because

Fu

Hang

because

of Fu

Hang

。 on a diet.

I'm on a diet.

I hope

make your face smaller.

I hope my face can be smaller.

I actually searched a lot of things

on Xiaohongshu.

And

many people would say

that

there man

online .

to persuade me to do what I want.

So I searched on Xiaohongshu.

I found a unique skill that makes your face smaller.

to share with you.

a set of theories.

It's very scientific. to share with you.a set of theories. It's very scientific.

How to make your facesmalsmal smal, smallers,

smal

.

if I were on the stage just now,

my shoulder is 2.5 meters wide.

No

one

will pay attention to my face.

The only thing you ask

is that

Where's his 經典

Only

Mr. Fanhi

;

online.

I searched a series of things.

Let me share with you.

From that day to now,

the whole process of my search.

Share the journey of your mind.

I'll search first.

How to stretch your shoulders

Five bive bive aboutin forpive exing

supert. heavy.

How do you recover from your shoulder injury?

It's raining on a cloudy day.

Is it normal to hurt your shoulder?

How to make your shoulder look big?

How?

How to overcome anxiety

to become a moncm become a monc can's How?o toof cancome a monced cancome a monced scancome a moncocan become a

moncg cancome a moncocan become a monced cancome a moncg become a monced scancome a moncg cancome a moncocan cancome a monced cancome a moncocan become a moncocan cancome

。

To the gym

I'm also anxious to go to the gym

Because there are too many

muscle maniac.

Have you seen muscle maniac?

They are easy to recognize.

They

can't

stand like this. They can only stand ize

。 attack him.

Just stab him.

He can't even reach it.

Wait.

I can't reach with my left hand.

Because the chest muscle is big.

A blind spot is here.

It

's

stressful to go to a gym like wrr .

My experience is

I can't practice with muscle maniac.

These people are so scary.

Once,

I practiced my biceps in the gym.

My weight

is this skin.

Practice this skin.

I want this sweight is this skin. Practice this skin

. I

want this sweight

be tighter

. muscle maniac.

squat over there.

Do you know how heavy he squats?

He squats 170 kg.

What is 170 kg?

Everyone, I'm 70 kg.

He can lift two

of

me 。

kilograms.

I'll be your photographer.

I need to practice.

Then the big brother is over there.

squat there.

I'm next to him.

with a 2.5kg dumbbells.

Shaking

I

dare not breathe. I

was oxy

am. breathing.

I couldn't breathe.

Scold me.

Hold it.

You didn't breathe.

Did you suck it?

I'll put you up too.

Then keep squatting.

I was so scared.

And sometimes,

when you practice pen

youf

I

scared

。 muscle maniac

to practice with you.

He's far away.

I knew he would come.

Because he's one meter away from me.

My chest is already on my face.

Bro

Move back a little

Then come here

Did.

This is face

. Bro Move back a little Then come here

D.s. This sence bents

.

You're in a group and I'm in a group.

It's hard for you to reject him now.

Do you understand?

I said go away.

He can break me

to crush me.

to convince people with a ditch.

I can only let him practice

Iditchce

.

can't use it for the rest of my life.

Brother is there

I'm fan the wind.

I almost caught a cold.

The wind blows to the gym

He's having fun.

Put it there.

Bro.

I'll go get some water. Goa . Wut it

there. Bro

. I'll go get some water

. Gole . Why

lithing I on 集 I. brother's film.

You can't just remove one side of the bell.

I'll open this side

and open it here.

Take it down and take it down

Bro is back

I'll start to load it up

Come back when you're done back I'll start to load it up Come back when you're done.

Keep 話

brother.

I'm responsible for

to dispel the heat.

After he left,

It's so hot. This bell piece.

Sometimes when he comes back,

I found a lot of barbell chips.

Talk to me.

Say it.

Come on.

Sure.

You also use this weight.

No

wonder

. I

used this weight.

But

we

practiced in different ways。

should remove his film.

I should let go of my anxiety.

Okay.

I should have

dignity.

I'm going to the gym now.

I do

n't even

look

at a

muscle

maniac

。 Sea.

Those small weight bumper chips

Every day

Nobody cares about it.

When I go there, they...

It's New Year.

The one who understands them the most is here.

When I went there,

I came all the way here.

What is here.

When

I went there, I came

all

the way here.

What 5.55ham .5.55ham . here.

Hey.

I'm coming.

Come on.

Higher.

Ride a big horse.

One by one

Two kilograms

I can't lift.

Thank you very much. I'm Liu Zheng.

Thank you.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
comedy /ˈkɑːmədi/ A2	noun - a type of entertainment that makes people laugh
worried /ˈwʌrid/ A2	adjective - feeling anxious or troubled about something
teammates /ˈtimˌmeɪts/ A2	noun - people who are on the same team as you
ugly /ˈʌɡli/ A1	adjective - unpleasant or unattractive to look at
square /skwɛər/ A1	adjective - having four equal sides and four right angles
stuck /stʌk/ A2	verb - to be unable to move or escape from a situation
casual /ˈkæʒuəl/ B1	adjective - relaxed and informal
freedom /ˈfriːdəm/ A2	noun - the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants
capital /ˈkæpɪtl/ B1	noun - wealth in the form of money or assets
soul /soʊl/ B1	noun - the spiritual or immaterial part of a person
kidnapped /ˈkɪdnæpt/ B2	verb - to take someone away by force
intense /ɪnˈtɛns/ B2	adjective - extreme and very strong
relaxed /rɪˈlækst/ A2	adjective - free from tension or anxiety
anxiety /æŋˈzaɪəti/ B1	noun - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease
influencer /ˈɪnfluənsər/ B2	noun - a person who affects or changes the way other people behave or think
muscle /ˈmʌsəl/ A2	noun - a piece of tissue in the body that can contract to produce movement
dignity /ˈdɪɡnɪti/ B2	noun - the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect