– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

- Hello, and welcome to another edition

of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem,

a show where we answer your most pressing questions

about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved,

which was Natalie Wood.

All the questions we're answering today came from you guys,

via our Buzzfeed Unsolved Facebook page,

which you can see right here.

And... do, do what you gotta do.

- You know what, now that we're really, finally

getting to the end of this whole saga,

the hot dog saga, hotdoga, whatever you wanna call it, um,

I think we gotta bring back our snack boys,

'cause you're gonna wanna pull out the popcorn

for this one at the end of the episode.

(background carnival music) So let's just

bring those guys back, 'cause I had a great with them.

There was that fun whistle at the end, remember? (chuckles)

- What? (zinger sound effect)

Are you gonna actually deliver

on the story this time, or are you gonna...

- Oh, I'm gonna deliver.

- Before we get into questions,

you may notice we are not on our normal set.

It's because we're actually out shooting

for a new season of Buzzfeed Unsolved.

We can't tell you where we are, because it's a secret.

- We didn't ship all our books out here.

While we're gone, we're actually having them rebound.

But I've got Satanic verses memorized at this point, so--

- Good, good, good. - I mean, I don't

have to read it every day.

- Do you want to take the first one?

- Mm-hmm!

Here we go, from Tara Raessi.

So Ryan can pronounce Doctor Lakshamanen...

L-Lakshmanen...

- I think it's Doctor Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.

- Perfectly, but can't say Feb-e-ary,

New-fawnd-land, or Bath, Bat-hurst right?

This is the real unsolved mystery here.

- You know, I mean that name definitely took some practice.

I actually think I said it wrong right there.

- Do you have a cut from the V.O. booth

where you struggled with it?

Can we cue that up? (beep)

- [Ryan] Did the report cast more questions

on the nature of the bruises and abrasions on Wood's body.

Positing that they likely had to have been

on her body before she fell into the water.

Oh boy, this name is...

Lock shmo non... oh my god, how am I gonna pronounce this?

(beep) Okay. Doctor Lakshmanan Sathfay,

Sathgav, frirgiswarahbuhgohy.

(beep) Doctor Lakshmanan Sakyav oh my god!

(beep) Doctor Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.

I think that was good? (beep)

I mean, could you say that?

I mean like, try it really, try actually pronouncing that.

- Doctor Lakshmanan Sachyavagaswaran?

- Satyavar gis sharawarn.

- Argishwaran?

- Sathyvagis--

- Vagariswaran.

- Sathyavagiswaran.

Doctor Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.

(jittery exclamatory sounds)

- I got chills.

You still say Feb-e-ary, though.

Kaylin Elizabeth Wheeler asks

(snorting laughter)

Yep. - Yep.

Yeah, I agree with you, I, I don't,

I think that's why I established in the beginning

that she had all these fears of water,

so that it wouldn't make sense

that she would try and take a dip at night.

- Here's the thing with these questions.

You don't have to convince me

that somebody murdered her. (snickering)

I'm pretty sure... eh.

- Oh god, should we do this one?

I don't know. - Let's read it.

Let's... - Oh, boy.

- This is a short story, if you remember last week,

our pal Holly Horsely sent in a pretty gripping account.

(horselike snorts) Yeah.

- It was good.

(horselike snorts) - It was good, man.

- It was a really good one.

- I've neigh-ver see, (Ryan laughs)

read something that, that compelling.

Anyway, we, we encouraged her to really flex her

writing chops - Yeah.

- and maybe put some, some bestsellers

out there on the shelves.

- And whoah, she did a good one

right there. - Oh, she

rose to the occasion.

Could we get some ah, some, some nice music for this?

- (low pitched beat) Thanks. - Who, who are you,

ta, okay.

- Thanks, that's good.

Holly Horsely.

The Latest Crime Thriller by Detective Horsely.

Ooh, I like it already. - Sinister.

- I, I didn't actually realize

that this was this well written.

Jesus Christ, this is actually good.

(Ryan snickers hysterically)

- (both giggling) Holy shit!

(dramatic music)

Detective Horsely out.

Holy shit.

- Holly Horsely is a force to be reckoned with,

or a horse to be reckoned with.

- (laughing wheezily) A tour de horse.

- M.V.P.

- There was a pearl of a theory, though, inside

that, actually. - Sleepwalking.

- Sleepwalking. - Yeah.

- That answers why she would get into the water,

because she wasn't cognizant of it.

Goddamnit, Horsely, you've done it again.

- Horsely, you've cracked it!

- Here's your badge and gun back.

- Oh, are you.

- What do you have to say about that?

- Are you Canadian?

- What do you have to say about that?

- They're fast swimmers, they're not

fast swimmers, they eat salmon.

- A polar-- - Are you out,

are you out of your mind?

- A polar bear has a better chance

of killing a shark, than a shark has,

of any kind of shark-- - You know what has

a better chance of killing both of those?

A hippopotamus.

- Oh Jesus Christ, now you're changing the subject?

- I'm always on Team Hippo.

- Yeah, probably best for you. - Here's one from, ah,

(mumbles)

- Hmmmm. - So is

Natalie Wood shackin' up with a crusty old sea captain?

- I don't think that part's true,

I don't think anything happened in that hotel,

I actually believe him.

But I do think he wishes something would've happened.

And I know that's a weird thing to say, but--

- Oh didn't he have, didn't he, wasn't he weird about it?

Wasn't he like, "She had beautiful feet."

- No! (laughing)

- Oh, I thought he had a weird quote about her.

- Well basically, he lied.

- Oh. - He said that

the first night didn't happen the way it did.

My guess is nothing actually happened,

he may have wanted something to happen,

he described himself as a close family friend

and that he was very protective of Natalie.

I just can't, it seems like this man

was a little jealous of Wagner,

and that's maybe why he started to release

some of the unsavory details to tabloids

later. - Yeah.

- It's pretty good. - I, I don't even

know why we're bothering with the rest of these questions

(Ryan laughs) when Holly,

why didn't we answer Holly Horsely at the end?

- Yeah, we should just cut to Holly Horsely

at the end of every episode.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Horsely's Corner. (snickers)

- Covered in hay.

- Covered in (laughs)

- Alrighty, let's go to Marissa McIntire.

That question was

all over the place - All a, lotta,

lotta, lotta, different

- Yeah. - offshoots there.

And then a little firework. (popping sound effect)

- My brain kind of exploded at

the mention of you having a magical penis.

- We don't have to, we can just move right past that one?

- No, right.

- No, it's...

- Quite normal. - Boilerplate.

- Who doesn't throw their glass after a toast?

Everybody, except Thor.

That's the only person I could think of.

- Where are you, where are you from? (Ryan snickers)

Were you raised in a barn?

- With Holly Horsely? (giggles)

- With Holly Horsely.

- With Holly Horsely.

- Here's one from Monica Yanas, Yeah nas.

Inside Daisy Clover?

- Uncultured swine.

Fair.

- I promise you this, I'll make a promise right here.

I'm never gonna watch Gypsy!

You hear me?

Never!

Out of, out of spite!

- Okay, just take it easy on her, man.

- I'm sorry.

We should record a commentary track for it.

- Now we gotta do that, since we've said it.

- Yeah.

Look, look for our Gypsy commentary,

coming soon. - We'll do it on the plane.

- Could put it on iTunes, how does it work?

- I, I dunno, we'll figure it out.

Put it on the Facebook page

or something. - Yeah.

- This comes from uh, Pow-Lah Jaclyn.

This is the last question.

Uh, it's not a legit phobia, and I think it's stupid,

that's what it should be called.

- Well I, I'm sorry, I guess

I didn't realize there were phobia police.

- Well, I mean you always police my phobia of bears at very

- I don't police - Realist

- I, you're allowed - It's a very

realistic - to be afraid of bears.

- It's a very realistic phobia, it's um, it's actually true.

- I don't feel like I have to defend it.

I'm not like, "Oh, you're right!

"It's silly to be afraid of that!"

- Then don't, don't defend it.

- I mean, you spend every shoot cowering in fear of a corner

because you hear a little gust of wind.

- 'Cause it's ghosts.

- Well, we've all got our things.

Ryan, what do we got coming up this week?

- The next episode is about, uh, the place that spawned you,

the place that's responsible for this.

- Oh yeah.

Chicago.

- No, don't!

- Oh. (both laugh)

- Chicago. - No one's gonna know,

there's a bunch of murders in Chicago.

- That's true, Chicago's responsible

for a lot of horrible things.

- Yeah.

- One of which is sitting next to me

with those beady little eyes.

So that does it for this episode

of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem.

Make sure you watch the new episode

of Buzzfeed Unsolved this Friday.

Send in your questions to the Buzzfeed Unsolved

Facebook page, which you can see right here.

And he is once again winding up--

- Ooh, yeah! - To send.

- Okay, here we go. - To disappoint you all.

I guarantee you, - No, no, no no.

- you will leave this video disappointed,

so if you don't want to be disappointed,

I recommend you leave right now.

That being said, do your worst.

- Crab joust.

It's happening for real this time.

Until... flash to white.

The year, 1985.

The place, Rochester, New York.

Two slender, sexy hot dogs are bathed

in the glow of a stained glass window.

Behind them, sausage priest. (wedding march music)

- Do you two rich, beloved characters

vow to love each other, to hold each other,

and whatever the rest of this wedding speech is?

- Rebecca, you are the most beautiful

hot dog I have ever seen.

I hope you never get eaten

on the 4th of July, like my parents.

I will love you forever.

I do.

- Dan, your words are making me happy, so I am smiling.

I love you, and I hope you don't get murdered

(murmuring) by my evil whore sister.

- What?!

- Uh, nothing, I do.

- Very well, I here do there by, as the sausage priest,

another layered, universally adored character,

(Ryan cackles)

pronounce thee husband and wife.

(Ryan laughs) For better or for wurst.

(hums fanfare music) Pfft. - Honk honk.

- That's good.

- So how many times are you gonna flash back

before you actually show us what happens

in the crab joust?

- We're getting, yeah, we're getting there.

I was ready to end it, man.

- Sorry to disappoint you.

That's it for this.

- Crab joust coming, don't, don't worry.

- It's not gonna come, it's never gonna come.

- Hashtag crab joust. (splat)

- Don't hashtag that.

- Please do.

- Don't.

- That'll be a good hashtag, that'll be trending.

- It's not gonna trend.

- Yeah, worldwide.

- Dude, do not, (stammers) don't do that.

(eerie electronica music)

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
pressing /ˈprɛsɪŋ/ B1	adjective - needing immediate attention or action
episode /ˈɛpəsoʊd/ A2	noun - a separate incident or event in a series
saga /ˈsæɡə/ B1	noun - a long story, account, or series of events
deliver /dɪˈlɪvər/ A2	verb - to give or hand over something
rebound /riˈbaʊnd/ B1	verb - to recover in strength or well-being after a setback
memorized /ˈmɛməraɪzd/ A2	verb - to learn something so well that you can remember it exactly
compelling /kəmˈpɛlɪŋ/ B2	adjective - evoking interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way
flex /flɛks/ B1	verb - to show off one's abilities or skills
bestsellers /ˈbɛstˌsɛlərz/ A2	noun - books that sell in large numbers
occasion /əˈkeɪʒən/ A2	noun - a particular time or event
sleepwalking /ˈsliːpˌwɔːkɪŋ/ B1	noun - walking or performing other actions while asleep
cognizant /ˈkɒɡnɪzənt/ C1	adjective - having knowledge or being aware of something
unsavory /ʌnˈseɪvəri/ B2	adjective - unpleasant or unacceptable to the taste or mind
spite /spaɪt/ B1	noun - a malicious desire to harm someone or see them punished
commentary /ˈkɒməntri/ B2	noun - an expression of opinions or explanations about something

Key Grammar Structures

• Hello, and welcome to another edition of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem,

  ➔ Present Simple for routines/schedules

  ➔ The phrase 'welcome to another edition' uses the Present Simple to indicate a recurring event.

• which was Natalie Wood.

  ➔ Relative Pronoun (which)

  ➔ 'Which' is used to refer back to 'the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved.'

• I think we gotta bring back our snack boys,

  ➔ Informal contraction (gotta)

  ➔ 'Gotta' is a colloquial contraction of 'got to,' used in informal speech.

• Because it wouldn't make sense that she would try and take a dip at night.

  ➔ Conditional sentence (Type 1)

  ➔ The sentence expresses a hypothetical situation with 'would' in both clauses.

• I've neigh-ver see, read something that compelling.

  ➔ Wordplay (neigh-ver)

  ➔ 'Neigh-ver' is a pun combining 'never' and the sound of a horse.

• I will love you forever. I do.

  ➔ Future Simple + Present Simple

  ➔ 'Will love' expresses a future promise, while 'I do' is a present affirmation.

• For better or for wurst.

  ➔ Wordplay (wurst)

  ➔ 'Wurst' is a pun on 'worse,' referencing German sausage.