– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[LIVELY UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hi.

I'm Lauren.

I'm surrounded by strong, fearless, powerful women.

I work for one.

...

I'm even married to one.

And yet, I'm scared of most things.

Climb on, Lauren.

A lot of people say, climb on, Lauren.

[SCREAMING]

So I decided-- because they told me

to-- that it was time to face my fears,

get out of my comfort zone, try new things,

see if I can't cry for a day.

Why?

Because I have a little bit of a stomach lining left

and I thought, I should get rid of that.

Each week, I'm going to have two choices.

Whatever I don't pick goes to the next week.

Whenever I do pick, I do immediately.

This week, my choices are--

extreme beauty treatments or singing

at a stranger's wedding.

Wow.

OK.

I'm going to pick beauty treatments.

OK, that's going to be a Russian platza

treatment, vaginal steam, and leech therapy.

How's that all sound?

Not great.

...

Do you digitally take the chins out?

...

Hi, welcome.

Hi.

How are you doing today?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm good.

Ready for your traditional platza treatment?

Yeah.

What is that?

So I'm going to take you into the banya.

You're going to lay on your stomach.

I'm going to beat you with some oak

leafs for about four minutes.

And then, right after, we're going

to douse you in some ice water.

Oh, yeah.

That sounds really fun.

What's with the hat?

That's going to protect you from the heat inside the banya.

How hot is it?

220 degrees.

That's too hot.

And why would a person do that?

Well, it's going to help you relieve any muscle tensions.

You're going to relax.

The leaves will take away any oily skin.

So what's your name?

I'm Anthony.

Anthony.

I've never had anyone beat me without telling me their name

first.

I gotcha.

You can step right in.

All right.

Bye, Anthony.

I'll see you in there.

OK.

All righty.

...

You ready?

No.

Hi, Anthony.

Hello.

I moved the hat.

Are you ready for me to beat you with some leaves?

Oh god.

...

Oh.

Oh.

OK.

Oh.

...

Totally normal.

How's that feel?

Very relaxing.

What's, like, the average-sized person who does this?

Are these big dudes--

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

They're usually big, Russian men--

Yeah, yeah.

--that drink lots of vodka and beer.

Well, we have some things in common.

How was this discovered?

Who was, like, beating someone with an oak branch and they

were like, you look amazing?

So are these used on other people

or do you use new ones each time?

We-- am I supposed to tell you the truth?

...

These have been used on someone else already.

What?

Who?

Some Russian man.

This has taken a turn.

All righty.

So since we just were in the 220 degrees,

we're going to douse you with the three buckets of ice

and that's going to help with your circulation.

You're sure?

...

No!

I don't [BLEEP].

I don't--

[SCREAMING]

Holy [BLEEP].

[? Oh my god. ?] [? Oh my god. ?] Oh, my god.

[SCREAMING]

[BLEEP]

Holy [BLEEP]!

That's cold!

How are you feeling?

I'm not sure I want to be speaking to you right

now, Anthony.

So we are coming to the end of your treatment.

Oh, what a shame.

Anthony?

Yeah?

I have an idea.

The tables have turned, Anthony.

Oh, boy.

Are you ready for your treatment?

Uh--

...

Nice, right?

Yeah.

...

This is a traditional Russian massage.

And these have been used by seven different people.

And let me just put this where it's supposed to go--

bink!

...

Bye, Anthony.

Think about what you've done.

...

OK.

Well, I don't know how else to say this,

but I'm going to get my vagina steamed.

...

My name is Marisa.

I'm a certified vaginal steam facilitator.

Is that what CVS stands for?

That's a good one.

I never thought about that.

Yeah, well, here I am.

To give you a background of what vaginal steaming is--

...

it's also known as yoni steaming.

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for, "The sacred gateway."

It's an ancient women's medicine.

It's super relaxing.

It's like taking a hot bath.

All right.

So I'm going to go ahead and have you fill this out.

And that way, it gives me better idea

of what herbs to use for you.

OK.

All right?

Thank you.

Sure.

Client name-- Lauren.

That is an easy one.

Are you currently on your period?

I am not.

Do you currently have fresh spotting?

I do not.

Do you have an infection characterized

with a burning itch?

Marisa!

No, and nor would I say so on camera.

So the reason why I ask these is if any of this was true,

then we would not steam you today.

I think it's because you're nosy.

Do you have a birth control arm implant?

Lesbian.

Do you have herpes?

No!

Vaginal discharge?

Do you have green, yellow, white, thick,

unpleasant-smelling?

...

No.

Be right back.

Bye, old baginey.

Get ready to be transformed into a new one.

We had a good run.

...

Right there is the steam stool.

...

Steam stool?

Yes.

So it's just like a regular pot.

Mm-hmm.

I have very similar pots at home.

Yeah.

So if it's ever too hot, feel free to lift up the skirt

and just wave it out.

Oh!

Good morning!

So basically, what you're going to do--

Oh, my god.

You're going to straddle over it.

It should feel good.

OK.

Oh, god.

How is the temperature so far?

Is awkward a way to describe a temperature?

You're going to have to seat.

How do I know that I'm sitting in the right position?

Are you comfortable?

No.

So go ahead and position yourself

so that you're comfortable.

So--

...

How do you feel?

Like, not great.

Is there ever, like, a little butt action too,

by accident, or no?

Possibly, yeah.

Good.

I'm just curious.

Not that that's happening right now.

I'm going to go ahead and step out

so you can go ahead and continue with this meditative

experience.

OK.

All right?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

...

Yep.

Whew!

Sweating.

OK.

How you doing?

Everything all right?

I know.

It's warm.

...

I'm just going to say words that mean vagina--

make the time go faster.

Yoni-- I learned that one today.

Hooha, vajayjay, coochie-coochie, lady liberty.

My mom texted.

...

Sorry, Mom.

Can't talk right now.

Getting my vagina Stanley Steamer-ed.

Lady bits, lady parts, lady flower, steam receptor.

...

Whew!

...

I've got good news.

I found my keys.

...

I think it's clean.

How are you feeling?

Steamed.

All right.

So I'm going to go ahead and turn this off.

Why so soon?

You liking it?

Steamed out, cleaned out--

like a new woman.

Nice.

Did I do good?

You did excellent.

Do we, like, hug now or how does it--

...

Yeah, sure!

OK.

Feels right.

...

Oh, hi!

Hi, Lauren!

Hi!

Nice to meet you.

You too, I think.

Can I show you my little healers?

Oh, god.

OK--

...

I don't think I've ever seen a leech--

If I can do it, you can do it.

That's not true.

So what do you think for the beauty, huh?

A little bit here?

Uh-huh.

How about a little here?

Yeah.

I'm being told, yes.

...

So before I place leeches, with your permission,

I would like to check your abdominal area, yeah?

My life is not my own.

You want to check if there is any tension, OK?

Oh, you're going to find a lot of tension.

Looks good, looks good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Like, one of the better ones you've seen?

So we're going to start placing leeches first

in your belly button.

And actually, it's very beneficial

before we place leeches to place some cupping on your tummy.

That, I've always wanted to try.

It's just a cup.

Oh, gosh.

So I'm going to be in your belly button.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh That's not nothing!

So we bring lymphatic fluid and blood

closer to the surface of the skin, which

is good for the body.

It's good for the leeches, it sounds like.

I am about to feed some leeches.

OK.

I feel it.

Oh, I feel it.

Oh, it's moving.

You feel a little tingling, right?

Yes, I feel that, yes.

Yeah.

They love this place.

This is one of the biologically active spots on the body.

Do they ever get lost in the belly button--

No.

--come out another hole or anything like that?

No.

I don't know.

OK, so now, we're going to work--

Oh, god.

--with your face.

Do they stay there?

Oh, yeah.

They stay there?

So what I'm going to ask you to do yourself,

kind of rub a little bit your skin.

If they come across any of those pesky chin hairs,

can they rip those out while they're up there too?

OK, so let's see--

Oh, god.

Oh, god.

Is that one?

I can't see.

You don't have to see.

Oh, I do.

The more relaxed you are, the easier they will attach.

Look good luck to me!

But relax.

There's just a leech attaching to your face.

[MUSIC - LIONEL RICHIE, "STUCK ON YOU"]

(SINGING) Stuck on you.

You feel it?

Yep.

There she is.

So this is a live pharmacy.

It's antibacterial, anti-inflammatory.

It's also very good for the beautiful collagen build-up.

Yeah.

And you do it yourself?

Of course.

And you're--

Not old.

--in your 90s?

You look great.

You look great.

Thank you.

(SINGING) Needed a friend.

And the way I feel now, I guess I'll be with you till the end.

Let me know if you feel it.

Yeah, I feel it.

She's on.

Perfect.

Oh, my god.

Why did-- what is happening?

Shh.

Quiet.

OK.

If I don't look 14 when this is done--

oh, god.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

That's it.

Oh, god.

So what it does-- it helps to improve circulation to the skin

so you have good skin color, but you already

have beautiful skin color.

Oh, too late for that compliment.

She released her tail, so she's ready to leave your body.

I'm ready to leave my body.

Bye, number three.

I'm going to put the mask and so it would hold the cotton.

And am I keeping this on for the rest of the day?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I am?

Mm-hmm.

Going out to Trader Joe's--

it's LA.

It's LA.

Everyone has this.

Yeah.

They'd be like, oh, you got your leeches done today?

So what are recommendations after the treatment, OK--

we don't recommend next day to do rigorous exercises.

Guess the marathon's out then.

Shoot!

I'll just stay at home and watch TV.

How do you feel?

Do you feel anything?

I just feel confused about a lot of my life choices.

So what I do, in order not to pull the leech--

this is alcohol and leeches don't like alcohol, so.

I do not have that in common with leeches.

...

Very normal day at the workplace.

...

Well, I think I learned a lot.

I've experienced a great deal.

And I think I'm happy I did it.

We'll see what tomorrow may bring.

I didn't cry.

That's a win, you know.

...

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
vaginal /ˈveɪdʒɪnəl/ C1	adjective - relating to the vagina
steam /stiːm/ B1	noun - the vapor formed when water boils verb - to emit vapor; to expose to steam
leech /liːtʃ/ B2	noun - a blood‑sucking worm used in some medical therapies verb - to cling to or attach oneself to someone or something
treatment /ˈtriːtmənt/ B2	noun - a medical or therapeutic procedure; the way something is dealt with
banya /ˈbɑːnjə/ C1	noun - a traditional Russian steam bath
oak /oʊk/ B1	noun - a type of large tree known for its strong wood
leaf /liːf/ A2	noun - a flat, typically green part of a plant
circulation /ˌsɜːrkjʊˈleɪʃən/ C1	noun - the movement of blood through the body; the distribution of something
relaxing /rɪˈlæksɪŋ/ B2	adjective - causing a state of calm and ease
meditative /ˈmedɪtətɪv/ C1	adjective - relating to deep thought or contemplation
facilitator /fəˈsɪlɪˌteɪtər/ C1	noun - a person who helps a group or process move forward
infection /ɪnˈfekʃən/ B2	noun - the invasion and multiplication of harmful microorganisms in the body
herpes /ˈhɜːrpiz/ C1	noun - a common viral infection that causes sores, often around the mouth or genitals
discharge /dɪsˈtʃɑːrdʒ/ B2	noun - the release of fluid from a part of the body
herbal /ˈhɜːrbl/ B2	adjective - relating to or made from plants used for medicinal purposes
ancient /ˈeɪnʃənt/ B1	adjective - very old; belonging to a time long past
anti-inflammatory /ˌæntiˌɪnˈflæmətri/ C1	adjective - preventing or reducing inflammation
collagen /ˈkɒlədʒən/ C1	noun - a protein that provides structure to skin, bones and connective tissue

Key Grammar Structures

• I'm even married to one.

  ➔ Present Simple with 'even' for emphasis

  ➔ The sentence uses the **Present Simple** ('I'm') to state a fact about her marital status. The word **'even'** adds emphasis, highlighting the surprising nature of being married to a strong woman given her fears.

• So I decided-- because they told me to-- that it was time...

  ➔ Complex sentence structure with embedded clause and past perfect subjunctive

  ➔ This sentence demonstrates a complex structure. The phrase **'because they told me to'** is an embedded clause providing the reason for her decision. The **'that it was time'** functions as the object of the verb 'decided'.

• Wow. OK. I'm going to pick beauty treatments.

  ➔ Use of interjections and future 'be going to' for intention

  ➔ **'Wow'** and **'OK'** are interjections expressing surprise and acknowledgement. **'I'm going to pick'** uses the future tense with 'going to' to express a deliberate intention.