– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Hey, can I uh we get $25 on pump three?

Sure. Would you also like a croissant, a

hot dog, a hamburger, and a donut while

you wait?

Yeah. Can I get some $8 novelty

sunglasses as well?

I didn't say that.

This is a hot dog is a sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what?

That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich.

What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a

Sandwich. The show we break down the

world's biggest food debates. I'm your

host Josh Sher

and I'm your host Nicole and I

and from here on out we will only be

wearing clothing items that have been

sourced from some sort of convenience

store attached to a gas station.

I have never Oh, bies.

Not only bies. You can like go into like

some amms and 7-Elevens will have a

random t-shirt rack.

Oh, are you for real,

dude? I was in one in Burbank and they

had they were selling t-shirts for the

local high school. You could buy some of

John John Burrow's high school t-shirts.

I almost bought one, but I thought it'd

be I don't know kind of weird.

I don't know. Well, does a school get

any money?

I don't know. I don't know the

relationship.

Interesting.

But the point is we are talking all

about convenience store foods today. We

are pitting the two uh I don't know

about biggest. The biggest for me

growing up convenience stores in

America. 7-Eleven has about 9,000

locations. AM PM only about 1,200

locations. I did see that as well in my

research.

And amm is not international. 7-Eleven

is very international.

They're actually owned by a Japanese

company now.

This happened recently, right?

This happened relatively recently. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's a whole thing with

like the Japanese corporate cuz if you

go to 7-Eleven in Japan,

I've been

Oh, you've been? Yeah. Tell me about Oh,

it's awesome. I mean, like they're first

of all wonderful. The vibe is wonderful

when you go in and they have it's it's

smaller than your average 7-Eleven. They

have rows and rows and rows upon drinks.

That's the first thing I noticed. The

sheer volume of beginos that they have

is staggering to like their food. Now,

their food is beautiful.

When I tell you that they have the best

egg salad sandwiches, they have um oni

stuffed with whatever your heart could

desire. Everything from umaboshi to a

spicy mayo salmon situation. Gosh, they

have they even have like hot drinks,

which I love, in cans. So, they have a

section where it's like hot coffee or

hot tea drinks ins cans just sitting

there on a warmer.

Wow. They really are living in 3025.

It was great. It was great. I love it.

And I can't wait to go back to Japan and

eat an egg sando.

Well, we ain't got no Japanese.

But didn't they didn't 7-Eleven try to

bring uh Japanese style sandos over?

They did. So, what's going on right now

with 7-Eleven is a lot of them in

America. America. Ray Croc actually, I

believe, like pioneered the um the

franchise system.

Sure.

In the same way that like Henry Ford

didn't invent the car, but he sort of

like invented the uh what what is it

called? The

Oh my god, I'm so dumb.

Wheel.

No, no, no. He didn't. No, you know what

I'm talking about. Assembly line.

Assemb. Okay.

Every board invented the assembly line,

not going to say after wheel.

Ray Croc didn't invent fast food, but he

like the modern franchise system as we

know it. So, like individual people,

operators, families, groups will own a

lot of 7-Elevens or a single store. Um,

and then it's hard for corporate to kind

of like make big changes

because you get most convenience store

owners in America like we make money off

of cigarettes and you know,

random booth

and random booths and buzz balls and

lotto tickets and so it's tough to get

like a lot of the food items, but I know

7-Eleven's really trying. AM on the

other hand, full disclosure, we have

worked with AMM as a brand partner in

the past

and they've been great. And I again, I

love convenience store food.

Is this TUMGS?

AM is togg. Tumis is

too much good stuff.

Is an acronym for too much good stuff.

Although, yes, it is an acronym and not

an initialism.

It is not an people assume it's in

initialism,

but it is pronounced Tombus, so it is an

acronym.

If it was TMGs, it would be an initial

initial

an initialism. initialism.

So like NFL is an initialism but not an

acronym

cuz you don't say Nifle.

You don't say Nifl, but FIFA is an

acronym because you say it.

You don't say you don't say F I FA.

Correct. How Okay. I love how much I

learned just by sitting here and

absorbing information.

I love that we got these nachos staring

us in the face.

Go for the nachos. Ampm nachos.

We're going to be comparing different

foods from 7-Eleven. Now, we tried to

match them up as much as we could. So,

we really tried. One of the fascinating

things about 7-Eleven is their main

source of heating. They have the boxes,

right? They have the hot boxes where

they bake pizzas. They put them in the

hot boxes with wings and mini tacos. And

the mini tacos are good.

Okay. They're not my favorite. What I

love at 7-Eleven, we don't have

represented here today because

AM can't match it. Are their taquititos.

Anything.

On the roller. Is it on the roller?

Because the hot dog roller is the only

main heating source inside a 7-Eleven.

So they have to turn all their foods

into tubes. And now they've tubed a lot

of foods.

That's smart.

Paquito is already a tube. So someone

who came up with that

tube

was like, "Hey, Pito's like, great. What

else you got?" And they're like, "Ah, we

can make a hamburger shaped like a hot

dog." I'm like, "Uh, okay. What else? We

can make a chicken nugget shaped like a

hot dog." And they've done all of those.

Yeah. And they're Do you like those? I

never I never reach for them.

Oh, the Buffalo chicken roller. That was

my favorite. Cheeseburger Big Bite.

It was just a cheeseburger log.

Big bite. Isn't that a hot dog? Well, so

yes, the Big Bite is the official name

of the 7-Eleven hot dog.

Oh, I see.

But the cheeseburger Big Bite was a log

of burger meat with little pockets of

cheese in it.

Oh god. Was it served in a bun?

It was the craziest thing is it was

always very unclear when you ordered the

cheeseburger big bite was generally

served in a bun, but you'd order a

buffalo chicken roller and they'd just

like put it in a bag and I'd be like,

"Hey, I think that's supposed to be in a

bun." And they're like, "Is it?" But

there's breading on it. And I'm like,

"Well, yeah, but it's like a fried

chicken sandwich." Then they'd be like,

"Would you put a taquito in a bun?" I

was like, "Well, no." But

you were having these full existential

conversations with the convenience store

owners.

I don't think they were an owner. I

think they were just an employee. But

yeah,

this is how I spend my time.

Honestly, if that makes life worth

living for you, I'm so happy that you

have such accessible outlets. Honestly,

some people are like, "I want to travel

the world. I want to cure cancer one

day." Josh is like, "I want to chat up

my local employee from 7-Eleven." And

you know what? Good for you. Finding joy

in the mundane little things is honestly

what keeps keeps you going.

That's good cuz earlier today I was

trying to find joy in the mundane things

and I was trying to tell you a story

about the frozen perogis that I grew up

eating as a child and Nicole just goes,

"You yap so much." I was like, "We host

a podcast together for 5 years."

Can I tell you why? It's cuz every time

we were we were doing something every

time every time we would stop doing it,

you would say something like like you

would just start talking about like lean

chips and how they're more curated to

the Latinx apart like uh people and then

you would be like oh I used to eat these

potatoes of Brian all the time like

every time and just like shut up

just exist in silence. It's comfortable.

We

we've been doing this for 5 years. You

should be comfortable being silent next

to me for like 5 minutes.

I'm at home. I'm chatting up myself. I'm

flirting with myself. I'm out here

throwing game. If you can't

My nachos are solidifying the cheese on

the nachos.

Bubba, you're hungry. Eat the damn

nachos.

Okay, so we're going to act like I'm

taking the chip out your mouth.

Why' you do that?

There was too much nacho cheese. Um,

so the amm cheese, I'll say this, it

seems a lot more It seems a lot less I

don't know even what to say. Um, the

nacho cheese on the ammp is less glossy.

It's more globular. I'll say that. It's

also going to say

I don't know. I was looking at the shine

factor of the It looks It's It looks

oddly thick. Um, it's oddly thick and

strangely enticing.

Check it out. It's the blizzard test. If

you can turn the chip upside down with a

jalapeno on it, that means the cheese is

thick. Now, is that a good thing?

Am I going to get botulism from this?

Now, what Nicole's referencing is the

last known bachelism death in the United

States was indeed from convenience store

nacho cheese. Bottoms up.

Like, what does that do? What's the

point of that?

Wait a minute.

I don't get it.

Called pinchos.

Little bites

in the basket.

I just followed a whole menu. Go like

this.

In the Bash country, they call these.

In the Bash country, they call these

pinchos.

Yeah.

Or tapath. In Barcelona.

Okay.

But in America, we take liquid cheese.

Uhhuh.

Have your espanol.

And then we put little these little

pickled local chili peppers.

White boys pick

Spanish.

I don't.

Okay.

Okay. So, whenever I I sent out a runner

to go get these, and they said, "Hey,

man. Sorry. They didn't have a lot of

cheese at the 7-Eleven, and I'm like,

"Hey,

yeah, that happens."

Which do I like? Oo,

there's a level of acidity, tang, and

heat in this nacho that I wasn't

anticipating.

And the 7-Eleven one.

Now, have you ever earnestly gotten a

tray of nachos? What do you mean, no?

I thought you were a gourman. I thought

you were a Cornwall sir.

Are you a fuse? A fuse about town.

I'm just a dill. Is it dilotant?

Dillant.

All I I'm just a I'm your I'm your

average dilotant. Contrarian dilotant.

No, I am not. I am a true patron of the

art. So, I'm going to lick the nacho

cheese.

Mhm.

Okay. I've calibrated the taste off

that. Now, I'm going to wipe it off of

this.

Interesting. I feel like the amm nachos

the cheese is a much more violent shade

of orange. Yeah.

However, does not have the same amount

of taste. There is literally

there is a reciprocal relationship

between color and taste.

40% more colorful, 40% less flavorful.

In in this in this experiment,

in this experiment,

it's like it's like whenever you get a

burger and they say American cheese and

then it's orange.

Yeah.

And like you expect it to be orange, but

like on the off chance they have like a

slice of white American, you're like,

"Oh, what is this? This is not going to

taste the same."

Even though it's the same exact

composition. Now there is also so at

these locations there are two um spouts

attached to pressurized hoses

one filled with nacho cheese the other

filled with chili.

Now you can run you can open the bag of

chips in the store and Nicole typically

you would run it under either of those

for as long as you want.

Either

either. But now what I do

Mhm.

is I will get a cheeseburger big bite.

I'll get a hot dog. I'll get whatever.

I'll get taquitos.

Uhhuh. And sometimes you get a little

bag of taquitos and you run that under

the chili spout and the chili spout goes

and it spits chili on your taquitos and

you put those in the bag and you kind of

massage the chili into them.

Oh, yum.

Because sometimes the taquitos, they get

hard. They're open air. They're sitting

there for a while.

They're open air.

They're open air. I mean, there's a

glass case, but it's, you know what I

mean? They're they're slow. It's an air

fryer,

but they're slowly losing moisture.

They're over time. So, you need to

remmoisten them with chili. Okay.

And the cadence at which the chili comes

out, it is quite unnerving because it

goes

the chili machine at a 7-Eleven wretches

chili home.

How does how does the nacho cheese come

out?

It's like a thin It's like a stream, but

the chili there's chunks of meat, right?

Achin to ach you would get at a an AMC.

Yes. Correct. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

So, a thin stream of consistent ner

cheese just versus absolute uh sharts of

chili.

I'm sorry we didn't put chili on these.

Mhm. Oh, that's okay.

You're okay with that.

Uh, winner 7-Eleven on the nachos. For

sure. For sure. For sure. We got to go

hot dog, right? Stick with savory.

Yeah. You know, I'm going to have you

eat these hot dogs because yet I remind

you I can't eat these unless they're to

a certain temperature.

I'm so glad I will eat the

microplastics. These are steaming.

Oh my god, Josh.

Like steaming Willie Beaman.

There's Do you want condiments?

Absolutely. Ketchup and mustard this bad

boy.

Let me just Let me

Let me get some jalapenos on there, too.

I can't do that.

What?

I can't do the jalapenos. Why isn't this

opening? My god, it's been steamed

together. Oh my god.

Yeah. Yep.

Josh, I'm so sorry.

What?

Josh, I can't.

Just smash it. Just mash it in the bun.

Hey, give it. You're being too gentle

with it. You got to No, no, no. You're

not clawing hard enough. Check this out.

This is 7-Eleven one. Just got to put

put your hand in there and really

Oh my god.

Really rip it open.

Really got in there.

Just got to claw that in. And then boom.

Hot dog.

That was

This isn't food you can be gentle with.

So now what I'm doing

What are you do? You're Are you doing

I've put plenty of ketchup and mustard

on the hot dog in the bun. But what I'm

doing is I'm now swirling the hot dog.

Oh my god.

Around. This is called Josh's special

torpedo underdog hot dog maneuver.

Just try the amm. The amm now braided

bun. I don't like that cuz it thinks

it's better than me.

Come in here with a braided bun. I'm

eating the hot dog from a gas station.

Also, Arco generally like

Can you open this mustard? I've been

struggling for an hour. Open the

mustard.

That's a good hot dog.

It's a good hot dog. Is it all beef?

I feel like there was a bone in there.

I think it's an all beef hot dog.

I opened the mustard. I didn't need your

help or anybody's help because you want

try the hot dog plane.

Let's get a hot dog.

I'm not going to do your cyclone roll

around, but you can do it if you like.

I don't think there's a natural casing

on the amm.

Oh my god.

It's not a particularly unnatural.

Oh, the bun is the bun looks like a

before photo of a fa of someone getting

a facelift.

Yeah. So, what happened is they put a

whole bun inside of a bag. Now, if you

just go to the store and you don't get

it to go, they don't put it inside the

bag. Uh uh.

Are you okay?

There's a sign on this that says buns

hot dogs in warmer 4 hours.

Oh,

what does that mean?

I think you have to use it. Oh, you have

to eat it before 1012 a.m.

or else you'll get sick and die.

Josh,

if I die, and I don't think that I will.

I want it to be hot dog related.

I also want it to be because I negated

the warnings of a very clear sign that

said like don't eat this hot dog and

then slow pan over to me and I got a hot

dog in my mouth.

Wow. So, you were supposed to you were

supposed to use this by 10:12 when we're

recording this at

dog for dog.

Now you see a much pinker color on the

7-Eleven Big Bite. Again, this is a big

player in the hot dog game.

I think it's the nitrates.

The nitrate salts, the pink salt, the

frog powder.

Uhhuh. you know, but over here at AM PM

Uhhuh.

it's a little bit thinner.

Can I can you face the the hot dogs

towards me?

Look into the face of death.

I will say the one on top is 7-Eleven.

Yeah.

The one on top has a coarser grind.

A coarser. Do you feel it more snappy?

Which is which is snappier?

But the amm is actually snappier.

I feel like the PM has been emulsified

with more extra ingredients.

Okay. Okay. Fair. Fair.

I don't think I like a coarse ground hot

dog.

Okay. The AMM hot dog is a better hot

dog.

Okay. All around.

All around.

Okay. So,

there's definitely less meat in it,

but it's a better hot dog eating.

It's a better hot dog eating experience.

And that's what I mean.

Sure.

When people talk about 100% beef hot

dog, I go I don't care what percentage

of which animals you're using as long as

you create the best tasting squishy meat

tube that I can put inside of a bun. I

don't care if that animal's about to go

extinct.

Sure. Oh, well, I would care if the

animal was going to go extinct.

Yeah. Oh, I care about the extinction.

No, make me a hot dog. If it's a

Galopagos tortoise that's going to make

the best meat tube, put that in my bun.

You done grandstanding? You done? You

done grandstanding about hot dogs?

Are you

We've had the most fun day. We've been

together all day today.

Yeah, we haven't left each other's side.

We have been in each other. I miss these

days.

I know. We have been in each other's

like vicinity all day today. So, we're a

little wacky. Sorry about that.

I'm going to a nice dinner tonight.

Yeah. Where?

Huh? Where?

Uh major going down to Major Domo.

Oh my god.

Collab dinner.

Oh yeah, you totally got

so I can't spoil my appetite.

Oh,

did you have like three pieces of El Poo

Loco too right now?

Four.

Four. Okay.

All right. Four piece El Poo Loco.

You eat so much.

I love it. I did leg day today.

You deserve Okay. So, okay. You push I

had no idea like whenever you work out

how heavy your legs are.

You know what I mean? Like they're half

of your body, but there's so much weight

and like bone and muscle down there.

You know what I mean?

What did you think was down there

instead of bone and muscle? Jelly.

Bowl of jelly.

No, but like you know what I mean? Like

stop

stop eating.

The jalapenños are a palette cleanser in

between hot dogs.

Okay, good. Whatever makes you happy. So

wins the hot dog races. Good job.

Which I will say is a huge upset cuz

7-Eleven big by hot dog. I will say I

think it's slightly too big. They also

have the amm has a tapato hot dog that's

really good.

Tapato hot dog's good. I just kind of

want the flavor of my hot dog to be a

hot dog. I'll put tapato on my hot dog.

I appreciate the addition of tapato. It

makes it like a spicy chorizo sausage

flavor.

It tastes like Do you ever have a brand

called Tijana Mama pickled sausage?

Yes, I have.

Yo, that's that's for real sickos out

there.

I love that stuff.

What else you want me to eat?

You want to take a break?

Do you need a break?

It's like a three

three minute intermission. Oh, you know

what we can talk about?

I feel like I should address my hair.

Oh, sure. No one like half of the people

aren't watching this. They're listening.

Well, it's a fair point. So, for the

people listening, I look like an

...

No, you don't. He's trying So, for all

of you that are not watching, he's

trying out a new hairstyle. He's

figuring it out. He's figuring out his

sense of style and he decided his his

barber recommended his his crestf fallen

barber

Osar

recommended hey you have a great hair

let's try something new and Josh saw

that he was a little bit sad and you

know Josh likes to make people happy and

he said yeah let's do it and then Josh

is basically rocking uh rocking a

pompador of sorts

a half pompador half slickback no part

half pompador half slickback no part the

sides are a little shorter than than you

would anticipate.

And I think in like four days it'll look

really good.

You know what I mean?

Well, so I goes I goes to my barber,

right? And and Oscar looks at me. Oscar

looks at me. It's a nice like old timey

kind of barber shop. Family owned

business. Been going for 5 years. Love

him to death. Uh and Oscar just goes,

"The usual." And I was like, "What's

wrong, Oscar? You don't want me to get

the usual?" And he goes, "I don't know.

You could try something different." And

meanwhile, Oscar's trying a different

hair. So, I think he's he's going

through something in his life.

Yeah.

You know, um hair his new hair looks

great. He's got the kind of like fashion

mullet, but he's got curly hair.

Mhm.

And so, I was like, "Listen, Oscar, if

you had my hair, how would you wear it?"

And a smile broke out upon Oscar's face.

And he said, "I would slick back, but

give it a little volume cuz I can't do

that cuz my hair is really curly. So, I

think you should do it." And I was like,

"Make me your canvas, Oscar."

Okay.

You know, and then he did it. And so, I

am doing this to honor my barber cuz

he's been a good dude for the last like

five years. I think that's

and hopefully he was also a good dude

before that.

To be fair, every time I go to the hair

the hair stylist, I always say, "Do

whatever you want. Just make sure you

cut off all the death."

You have necrotic hairs.

No, like you know, split ends and stuff.

I just say, "Hey, just chop it all off,

but do whatever you want in terms of

like style and shape and stuff."

Love that.

This is 7-Eleven coffee.

Oh, I drank a lot of this.

Yeah. Your coffee order is black two

ices, right?

Black two ices. But if I'm at a 7-Eleven

now, they have all of the tiny

International Delight creamers.

I love those. I could drink those all

day. I'll rip about seven or eight of

those bad boys in there and I mix and

match. I do a couple Amordo, couple

Irish coffee, you know, a couple French

vanilla.

Disgusting. So many chemicals

and six Splendas.

Wow.

So, I'm going to 7-Eleven for the

coffee.

Well, it's black. This coffee is black.

That's 7-Eleven.

Tastes like the coffee I make at home.

Okay. Really? So, it's good.

No.

Oh, so the coffee you make at home isn't

good.

Correct.

Oh, okay. And then am

Those are coffee. Are they both the

same? Similar?

That's nice. You try.

I don't want

What? You can't drink coffee cuz the

baby. No. No. Don't. This going to come

off as me peer pressuring you to drink

to put your baby in jeopardy.

I'll have a sip. I'll have a sip.

Um 7-Eleven.

It feels a little bit more full body.

Don't drink the coffee if you don't want

to.

I have to sneeze.

I thought this was

I have to sneeze.

Hold on.

Who is sneeze?

This feels like our 50th podcast. You

know what I mean? Do you remember,

Maggie? Like around like the like our

5060 like we would be this unhinged.

Okay.

I hate black coffee so much.

Should be illegal.

AM. Okay. Nice. Does it Is this a

flavored coffee?

The amm smells flavored. I like the ammp

one more.

It's a stringent. It's less aringent.

They're both like good.

They're both okay.

And I I'm not like Listen, I drink a lot

of coffee. I I drink really good coffee,

but like sometimes I'll go into if I get

dragged to one of these coffee shops

that have like a lavender cold oat foam

topped matcha, whatever, right? Then

I'll just

I'm not going to get a normal black

coffee or cold brew. I'll be like,

"Okay, give me one of your V60 pourover

single origin Ethiopian whatevers."

Sure. Um, I've had some of them that I'm

just like, "This tastes just like super

acidic and like really aringent and like

watered down."

Yeah, I've had that, too.

And maybe they're right and I'm

completely wrong, but the 7-Eleven

coffee actually like tastes really good.

I prefer the AM. I think it had a nice I

think the lack of a stringency is what

I'm looking for in like a black coffee.

It tastes like there's an extract.

There might be. There might be.

That might be

interesting. I'm I'm willing to call

this a draw. Like these are

they're both good.

Legitimately both

black coffee cups of coffee.

Ready for donuts.

And also both both of these these places

have really invested in upping their

coffee programs.

Um cuz they're are trying to like play

in that space. And I think they're like

seeing the uh

seeing the white space with like

Starbucks kind of focusing less on hey

come here for your morning coffee.

Yeah. Now like 7-Eleven and amm are like

hey like and McDonald's frankly got into

that space too now that Starbucks's core

business model is like I don't know

white women.

Yeah. Trying to or kids gear geared

towards like like high school kids

kids of all gen of all races and

ethnicities.

Yeah I agree. Um so I have a glazed

donut from 7-Eleven and Josh is

unbagging a

I have like a like a Keith Herring

painting.

Oh man. No that's not Keith Herring.

That's Jackson Pollock.

Actually it's more Bas say Boscott. Not

hering. because of the sides. You see

the sides are more

basot. Um, so these are both donuts.

What we're talking about for people that

can't see, we got a chocolate iced

sprinkled donut and it is in a plastic

packaging. Um, the sprinkles have spread

themselves along the packaging

and created a sort of uh streaky almost

like dark fauist colored painting.

Are these both cake donuts? No, these

are both yeast.

Both yeast donuts.

7-Eleven tastes good. 7-Eleven's a good

donut.

Really good.

The 7-Eleven glazed doughnut is as good

as a doughnut from like your average LA

doughnut store.

I agree.

AM donut.

Oh, the texture is completely off. The

icing is good. I actually really like

the icing on top of the amm donut, but

the texture of the actual donut's

completely off.

The AMP donut is That's a struggle.

I think it's because of the way they

package it.

It's not though. It's It's a dough

structure thing. You can tell. Look how

Look at how much denser the crumb is.

You're right

on the ammp donut versus the 7-Eleven

donut.

7-Eleven donut in their pastries.

I love how 7-Eleven will add regional

specialties. Like one of my favorite

quirks of LA.

I know what you're going to say.

Are 7-Elevens when you go up to the

front, they have something called a

quesadilla salvador,

right? Had it many times.

Is a Salvadoran I mean they call it a

cheesecake. It's like a little snack

cake with with you know farmer's cheese

baked in there and like sesame seeds on

top

and it's so good. But it's like such a

regional regionally specific thing and I

always get it. And they and they have

Dela Rosa Masapan

always. Peanut powdered candy.

I love that stuff. I love the

quesadillas. Are they called

quesadillas?

Mhm.

Yeah.

7-Eleven wins.

Go 7-Eleven. That was great. And it's

time for cookies.

AM PM.

Josh say

I've gotten a lot at what.

Do you want some cookies?

You guys want some cookies? Shout out to

Chris Katan. Come on the show. We want

Chris Katan on the show, right?

I have met Chris Katan before.

You met Chris Katan?

Oh, yeah. I Oh, he's wonderful.

He's a star. I always I'll always know

him as Mango. He'll always be mango to

me. So, from 7-Eleven, we have the white

chocolate macadamia nut.

I'm eating the chocolate chunk cookie

from AMP.

I don't think I like cookies anymore.

It's a weird thing to say.

I know. I'm a little weird now. The

cookies at Ambium, they taste fresh

baked in a way.

Oh my god, that's so good.

You know what I mean? This has that that

kind of like crispy on the bottom, soft

on the top, kind of chewy, and very very

very sugary, but not in a bad way.

The 7-Eleven cookie is a little hard.

It's a little tough to get through, but

I love I absolutely love the AMM

cookies. My goodness. The AMPM cookies

have the perspective of like a

grandmother, right,

who's been perfecting her own very

quirky recipe for like years.

You know what I mean?

Very good.

And I can see how not everyone would

like this amm cookie. It's a little

hard. It's a little chewy. It's not that

like pillowy fresh baked cookie, but

that's not what I want.

That's not what I'm getting out of this.

This is like a It tastes homemade. What

an incredible What an incredible way to

do it.

7-Eleven cookie. It's still very good.

The 7-Eleven cookies. I've I've always

loved the 7-Eleven cookie. I used to eat

a lot of lunch at 7-Eleven when I was

dirty bulking in high school to get

beefier for shop putut.

And boy did it work.

Oh,

you know, you get like a thing of the

Onami brand California roll. You get

three taquitos dowsted in chili, a

cheeseburger, big bite, and a pack of

cookies.

Mhm.

That's 2400 calories before a three-hour

wait room workout and shot put.

That's what you needed at that time.

So, I'm very familiar with the 7-Eleven

cookie, especially why chocolate

macadamia not my favorite cookie other

than oatmeal raisin. But,

you know what it reminds me of? Um,

Subway cookies. Yeah, similar.

Yeah.

Mhm. Well, Does that Does that

leave us with a tie?

Yeah.

What's the tiebreaker?

Maybe we don't need a tiebreaker.

Maybe we can just let these two kings of

convenience

live by themselves.

I think we can.

We can make that call.

I think whoever's jalapenos are spicier

wins.

Fine. It's a tie.

Well, all right there, Nicole. Heard

what you and I have to say. I'm burping

up jalapenos. Now, it's time to fight

our other wacky ideas right out of the

universe. Time for the segment we call

opinions are like casserole.

[Music]

I don't feel good, but I do have 4 hours

until I have to leave for dinner.

Okay.

So, I think if I just do some push-ups,

drink a couple sparkly waters. Yeah, I

think I'll be good. I think so, too.

Okay, let's get to it. Oh, boy.

Hi, Josh and Nicole.

Hi.

I when I made guacamole.

Okay.

When I lived in New York,

don't know why that don't know why

that's uh

I'd add something that I cannot do now

that I live in Texas, but it honestly

makes the guacamole.

Wait, pause.

So much better.

So, I want to know what you think.

I'm going to say it's peas.

Remember when they put guacamole and

peas and everyone freaked out? Well,

they put peas in the guacamole. That was

an interesting thought. You put You said

they put guacamole in the peas.

I meant to say peas in the guacamole.

Guacamole, which

that sounds really nice, right?

A little smashed pea, avocado.

I mean, anything to hide.

I veggies in.

I Okay, Megan, we'll play this in a

second. But let me gra something to say.

I wanted to make a couple guesses. I was

going to say um like like hugo de

naranha agria.

Oh, yum. Okay.

Sour orange juice. like I feel like

maybe a Dominican thing that you can't

find in Texas. That does sound nice in

Guacamole. But um I remember talking to

a writer named Billisa who was talking

about how weird it is. He to me is

literally like a taco savant. He knows

more about the history of Mexican and

all of Latin American food than anyone

I've ever met. And he's written, you

know, books and produced for TV shows.

And he was talking about how weird he

thinks it is that people in America

specifically like fetishize guacamole.

Mhm.

And he's like in Mexico he's like people

think that doesn't go on guac. This

doesn't go in guac in America, but in

Mexico like it's just something that you

like have at like a takaria, right?

Mhm.

It's just he's like people some

guacamole is just avocado, lime, and

salt and they smear it on their car

tacos. And he's like it's weird that in

America it's this like $15 tableside

event, you know, that people have these

strong feelings over. And so I thought I

always thought the peas and guacamole

thing was like really really funny.

I thought it was funny too.

You know what I mean? Anyways,

let's find out.

I'm going to say mango.

Why can't you get mangoes and

instead of just doing avocado, like

whatever you put in it, instead of doing

the lime juice,

you smush in a couple of kiwis,

but then you eat it with like lime

flavored chips.

Okay.

I really love the taste of the kiwi

guacamole. We were close

and I can't do that now that I live in

Texas because

I live in Texas. But let me know what

you think.

Wait, wait, wait. She's She's not Surely

Kiwis are available nationwide at this

point.

Yeah, I think it's more of like a

cultural thing.

That's a cultural thing. Yeah,

specifically the thing that we're

talking about.

Yeah, like weird die hard like you can't

do this to guacamole. Um I said mango

very similar. Um, I I'm I'm having a

little bit of trouble tasting it in my

mouth, but I can I can like understand

it a little bit. I can I can meet you

halfway.

I can I can get there. I can get there.

I think the best guacamole I've ever had

in my life. You were there. Well, you

But you left.

It was an event that

I'm sorry I leave you sometimes.

You went I drank too much. I got to go.

I'm so sorry. I do that sometimes.

That's totally fine. I understand it.

But it was a chef. I wish I could

remember her name and I'll try and look

it up. But she's from Phoenix, Arizona.

And uh she made just the best guacamole

I've ever had.

It was the best guacamole I've ever had.

There were pomegranate seeds. Did you

eat it

on? Yeah.

You were there for that part. That was

before you.

Yeah. Before I dipped.

It was just so perfectly seasoned and

proportioned and simple. It was

incredible. And she was like known as

making the best guacamole. Yeah.

And I was like, "Okay, let's see how

good this actually is." Incredible.

Phenomenal. 10 out of 10.

She put pomegranate seeds in it.

She put it on it.

On it. On it. Not in it. Correct. Topped

with pomegranate seeds. probably a

garnish, but like you know that's not

that far from kiwis.

It's not

that's not that far. She's from Arizona.

Very established Mexican food culture.

She's Mexican herself.

I'm not against it. I can't taste it

right now, but I imagine it's pretty

good. And I like the lime chips. I have

lime chips on my house all the time. So

I tend to not love fruit in salsas.

I hate fruit in salsas. Mango salsa is

my biggest op. Hate.

Yeah. I don't like I

hate Look at me. hate

even in this. This is a crazy thing. I

don't love like pineapple and alpas

store. I'm not there for the pineapple.

I'm okay with pineapple and alas store.

I I would almost rather just have like

adoboada, which is basically the kind of

same thing. I I think it's a a Tijuana

based term. Okay.

But just give me the delicious spit

roasted pork without the pineapple and I

think I'm having a better time.

I understand the theory behind it.

To cut it through all that fattiness.

That's what the salsa is for. That's

what the onions are for. That's what the

cilantro lemon is for. Lime is the only

fruit that I want on in my salsas and in

my guac. I think

I don't like pineapple salsa. I don't

like Do you like it in your ceviche?

Like pineapple, mango, ceviche, things

like that. Sometimes it's good.

No, man. I want

I'm trying to think.

I want to hear more. I want to hear more

people's opinions. Maggie.

Okay. Sorry, Josh.

No, it's okay.

Hi, Nicole and Josh. Um, just because

everyone says Josh first. Nicole is

actually the best. that all

um I have a really hot spices.

I think everyone has different spices

growing up in their household.

Spices

and

I think one spice that I only found

after experiencing a lot of like

Caucasian cuisine

is celery salt.

Why is that specifically Caucasian? Oh,

anyways, thank you for listening and let

me know your takes.

Why you saw mainly for people of the

caucus?

And now now we're we're talking

Caucasian, not as in from the the

foothills of the Caucus' mountains.

We're not talking about Central Asians.

We're talking about whites, most likely

American whites.

Um, so this is ground celery seed mixed

with salt.

I do not know like what area in the

world would have started doing this. I

have no idea. I have no context. All I

know is that it's good with the Bloody

Mary. That's how I know. I know Bloody

Marys and Celery Salt go together.

Chicago style hot dog. That's They put

celery salt on a Chicago dog.

Interesting. Oh, it's also reported to

be an ingredient in KFC's secret spice

mix. H

I do agree. It is a really unique taste

that you cannot get anywhere else.

You can't duplicate it with another

spice.

I don't know. I grew up in a Caucasian

household, right? Yeah. uh you know

Jewish but but a lot of very assimilated

to American whiteness in a lot of ways.

I grew up in an area in Orange County

that though very diverse there was a lot

of sort of assimilation towards

whiteness.

Most people I know most whites the main

spices they use

are blends

salt pepper paprika

salt pepper paprika sure but they're

using like Mrs. Dash. They're using

McCormick Montreal steak. They're using

packets of Lowry's taco seasoning.

Okay. Yes. I don't know a lot of

Caucasian Americans that really had a

great grasp on how to use actual raw

whole spices.

Interesting. Okay.

You know what I mean? These are the

Caucasian these are the whites that I

grew up with.

Um I don't know. I never really cared or

paid attention to spice cabinets in my

white friends's houses.

How much how much spices are used in

Persian cuisine?

Oh my god. So many. Literally my mom

came over on Saturday and we cleaned out

all of my cabinets. Specifically, my

spice cabinet though, spent hours

organizing my spice cabinet. It was a

disaster in there. Like I had like four

different kinds of cumin. Did I keep

them all? Yeah, I did.

But I have like there's a lot of spices

in Persian cooking, but it's very delic.

It's an incredibly delicate

art form when it comes to Persian

spicing of things.

There's nothing inherently like punchy

or like slap in the face or like

addictive about it. It's all very

balanced and it takes a steady hand and

someone who knows how to cook to be able

to

cook Persian spices like a Persian

person.

You know what I think is the ultimate

Caucasian spice?

Paprika.

No,

paprika is a black spice.

Oh, really?

I firmly believe that.

I think paprika is for everybody.

I agree that paprika is for everybody.

But I don't think that that can be like

in I'll tell you what it is. Chili

powder.

Oh, okay. I'd love to hear why. Because

if you are a Mexican cooking Mexican

food,

you are likely never going to use a

product simply called chili powder.

Okay.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. You're using guillo, you're using

pacia, you're using chipotle,

right?

Yeah.

You could you could use like uh like

chile molo, right? Like ground chili,

but the the packet the thing that just

says chili powder,

unidentified chili, right?

It can be any different kind of color.

And Rachel Ray in her cooking show goes

and I love a little bit of heat and puts

a like an eighth of a teaspoon of chili

powder into a whole bowl of soup that

you would never even start to taste.

That I believe is the whitest spice in

the world.

I always thought chili powder was meant

to flavor chili.

And it like is,

you know what I mean?

Okay.

But it's not. It's which again would

make it a very white spice.

Got it. Cool.

Yeah, that's what I believe.

Wish we could tell you more about celery

salt. I mean, maybe I need to buy some.

It's I I would like to experiment with

it more.

Hi, this is Chris from Bend, Oregon.

Hi. Hi, Chris.

I'm calling for my girlfriend. Actually,

whenever she eats a sandwich, she'll

eat about half of the sandwich normally,

bite by bite, and then she'll pull the

sandwich apart and eat every

individual component on its own. So,

this is like every sandwich. like the

cheeseburger. She'll be eating the meat

patty and the slice of cheese and the

bread and the lettuce all in different

pieces.

So, just want to know if you know what

might be wrong with her.

Yeah. Have you heard of the show Couples

Therapy on Paramount Plus? I believe.

Is that where it's at?

I don't Yeah, it is.

It was a Showtime show.

I mean, I think there's like a plugin

with Paramount that you can watch

Showtime shows.

I started watching it. I think it's just

a weird quirk that your girlfriend has.

I don't think there's anything wrong

with her, but if you can't really solve

this, I recommend going on the couple's

therapy show with Dr. Ora. She's pretty

freaking lit. Big fan of Dr. Ora. She's

so levelheaded.

I But she seems to care a lot, but not

too much to where she

which is important. It doesn't like rule

her life.

Dr. Ora Goralik, I think brilliant

woman.

If I were to Dr. or a goric you hear. I

would say that it's great to have

curiosity about your partner

and what they do.

But you should never hold that against

her. You shouldn't try and figure out

what's wrong with her. You shouldn't

love her in spite of her ticks. Things

that you may even see as flaws. You

should love her because of those.

Because you,

I'm sure, have equal amounts of ticks

and flaws. then you want to be loved for

your whole self, not in spite of parts

that might be deficient.

And then she'd flip her beautiful hair

and then it's cut to random B-roll of a

New York City street, someone picking

out an orange from a market and Dr. Ora

just holding on to a subway pole,

thinking deeply about her clients.

I'm a big fan of the show. You got Do

you have a favorite couple on that show?

Um,

I like Michael and Mikall because

Mikall's all kinds of crazy.

There was a couple that I

also love the transwoman couple. There's

one transwoman and one siswoman,

I think. Yeah, I remember them. I don't

know any of them by name, but there was

one where they like owned a restaurant

together. I think I maybe only looked

them up after the fact, but the guy was

just like the worst.

Ma. Ma.

Ma. Oh boy.

People dislike Mau,

dude. And I would watch it. malignant

malignant narcissist

100%. Yeah, I would watch that and like

try to give, you know, try and give

everyone the benefit of the doubt. Um,

and no, just like the worst person in

the wife just trying to hold it

together, man. She tried.

I heard they got a divorce.

Great. I love that. I love that.

Anything else, Maggie?

One more.

Maggie, one more.

Hi, my name is Grace. I'm a newer fan of

this show. And my controversial food

opinion that has made many of my friends

upset with me is that all foods can be

categorized as either a soup salad or

sandwich.

Um, and for the record, casserles are

just hot salad in the same way that

pasta salad is a salad.

Yeah,

I'm going to let you take a gonna let

you take this one.

Should I just tell you random foods and

tell me what category they go in?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, hold on. Let me let me get a list

of foods going. I will say I do believe

that everything can be categorized into

anything. But do they? They need to be.

But but but this

right, we've talked about this before.

There is no such thing as a fish,

right? Every animal can either be

categorized into mammal and a bird and a

fish and a lizard, whatever. Until you

really get the fish and you're like,

well, there's a lot of really diverse

crazy things going on here. And the only

thing they seem to have in common is

that they're kind of in water, which is

a meaningful distinction because very

few humans live in water. So for us, we

can kind of just go, they're in the

water, they'll figure it out. the

categories themselves, you know, and so

we could of course create three

arbitrary categories to view things in,

but is it meaningful and does it serve

our lives? Nicole, give me some foods.

Onion rings.

Onion rings are a sandwich because the

breading on the outside and you eat it

with your hands.

Buffalo wing.

Buffalo wing is again a sandwich.

A taco.

Taco is a sandwich.

Um, a California roll. California roll

is a sandwich because it is encased on

both sides by a starch.

A scoop of ice cream.

Oh, that's a soup. It's a It's a soup

that has been frozen. You see?

God,

come on. You know that you microwave

a mozzarella stick

sandwich?

No, I mean like a string cheese.

Oh, string cheese. That's a salad.

God, what does he say?

Especially if you string it.

An alphahore. Don't say sandwich.

Alphahore is literally the perfect

sandwich cookie. Asparagus. Just a stock

of asparagus.

Nicole, you put you put lemon juice,

olive oil, salt, and pepper on that.

This is a salad. Of course.

Uh croissant

sandwich. Just a very plain one.

A cab a head of cabbage.

You know the answer.

Cabbage roll. A cabbage roll.

Cabbage roll is also a salad. You're

talking about like golumpki.

Golumpki. Yes.

Golki. Yes, I am talking about

talking about galopi.

One of my favorite weekn night dinners

to make. It's a lot of labor. It is a

lot of labor.

A piece of toast.

That's a sandwich.

No, it's not.

Of course it is. It's bread. That's what

makes sandwich.

A date.

A date is a salad. Any single produce

item is a salad.

And on that note, thank you for

listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We

got new audio only episodes every

Wednesday and a video version here on

YouTube every Sunday.

Diet Coke is soup. Uh, we got

I'll see y'all next time. You know where

to find us.

Bye.

Our new Mythical Kitchen staff

collection is here. Grab yours today at

mythical.com and become a part of the MK

team. No culinary skills required.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
sandwich /ˈsændwɪtʃ/ A2	noun - an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with meat, cheese, or other filling between them.
hot dog /hɒt dɒɡ/ A2	noun - a cooked sausage served in a sliced bun.
podcast /ˈpɒdkæst/ B1	noun - a digital audio or video file or series of files available for download to a computer or mobile device, typically available as a subscription.
convenience /kənˈviːniəns/ B1	noun - the quality of being convenient; suitability.
location /loʊˈkeɪʃən/ A2	noun - a particular place or position.
international /ˌɪntərˈnæʃənəl/ B2	adjective - involving or relating to two or more nations.
corporate /ˈkɔːrpərət/ B2	adjective - relating to a large company or group.
volume /ˈvɒljuːm/ B1	noun - the amount of space that a substance or object occupies, or that is enclosed within a container.
flavor /ˈfleɪvər/ A2	noun - the distinctive taste of a food or drink.
texture /ˈtekstʃər/ B1	noun - the feel, appearance, or consistency of a surface or substance.
ingredient /ɪnˈɡriːdiənt/ B1	noun - a component part or essential element of a mixture or compound.
flavorful /ˈfleɪvərfl/ B2	adjective - full of flavor.
heated /ˈhiːtɪd/ A2	verb - make or become warm or hot.
heated /ˈhiːtɪd/ A2	adjective - having been warmed.
spicy /ˈspaɪsi/ A2	adjective - flavored with spice.