– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

You want to hang out Saturday?

Can't. I signed up to get baptized.

Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to do that.

Well, why don't you join me? We could do it together.

Sure. You and me, getting double dunked. I like it.

Can you imagine afterwards?

All of our sins will be washed away.

Yeah, and we can start cranking out fresh ones.

I just don't know where I went wrong.

Are you sure your questioning was skillful?

I thought so, but after two hours of interrogation,

all I could extract from my sister's brain

was that there was some sort of block with new kids on it.

Sheldon, how's your educational project going?

Poorly. I've hit a wall.

Have you considered B.F. Skinner's behavior modification?

What's that? It uses punishment

and reward to get the results you want.

Ooh, punishment. I like the sound of that.

(quietly): In the right context, so do I.

I took a real beating at the craps table,

and then I won it all back playing Caribbean Stud Poker.

Well, how does Caribbean Stud Poker work?

I have no idea. I was drunk off my ass.

(both laugh) MARY: Way to go, Mom.

Way to lead a Christian life.

Oh, does my daughter think poorly of me?

Yes.

Good. I can die happy.

Hey, Mom, just a heads-up, I'm getting baptized tomorrow.

Good Lord.

That boy's randiness knows no bounds.

What are you talking about?

He's only doing it

'cause of that Veronica girl.

Oh, sure. That makes sense.

What do you mean, it makes sense?

When I was his age, I hitchhiked to Florida

'cause I had a friend that had a girlfriend

who knew a girl who might be willing.

But then you met my daughter and you didn't have

to travel so far. (laughs)

(bottles clink)

SHELDON: According to B.F. Skinner,

if I can find the appropriate punishment to motivate Missy,

there's no limit to what she might be able to learn.

But what might that punishment be?

Whip her with a rubber hose?

No. That sounds like a recipe for tendonitis.

Administer small electric shocks?

Tricky.

If I get the voltage wrong, I could spend the rest of my life

in an institution for the criminally insane.

Or I inflict harm

on the object she loves more than life itself.

Celeste, you're about to become part of scientific history.

All right, everybody, welcome to the 1990

East Texas Baptist Olympics.

(laughs)

'Cause we're in the pool of water.

Anyway, I want to welcome

our little sister Veronica Duncan,

who I will be dunkin'. (chuckles)

Sorry.

I can't turn it off. And I also want to welcome

George Cooper, who has recently found

his way to the Lord.

Howdy. Praise Jesus.

(sighs)

Are you ready to learn some advanced calculus?

Nope.

Be right back.

Take your time.

Veronica, do you trust in Jesus Christ

as your personal Lord and savior?

(laughs softly): I do.

JEFF: It's upon your profession of faith

that I baptize you, my sister,

in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

♪ Wade in the water

♪ Wade

♪ In the water, children, wade

♪ In the water

♪ Washing me down, washing me down ♪

♪ Wade...♪

Dang.

All right, let's try this again.

Would you be ready to learn some advanced calculus

if it saved Celeste's pigtails?

What are you doing? Put her down.

Not until I modify your behavior.

In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

♪ Drop me in the water...

Sheldon, I'm warning you.

ALL: Hallelujah!

(laughs) We did it!

♪ Tease me...

Ooh, I'm so happy.

I love you.

Is it working? Are you feeling motivated?

Very.

(animal growling)

(Georgie grunts) (all gasping)

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
baptized /ˈbæp.tɪzd/ C1	verb - to perform the Christian rite of baptism on someone
sin /sɪn/ B2	noun - an act regarded as a transgression against divine law
punishment /ˈpʌn.ɪʃ.mənt/ B2	noun - the infliction of a penalty as a consequence of wrongdoing
reward /rɪˈwɔrd/ B1	noun - something given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement
behavior /bɪˈheɪ.vjɚ/ B2	noun - the way in which one acts or conducts oneself
modification /ˌmɒd.ɪ.fɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ C1	noun - the act of changing something in order to improve it
interrogation /ɪn.təˈrɒɡ.eɪ.ʃən/ C1	noun - the act of questioning someone closely, especially by police
electric /ɪˈlektrɪk/ B1	adjective - relating to electricity
voltage /ˈvoʊltɪdʒ/ C1	noun - the electrical potential difference between two points
institution /ˌɪnstɪˈtuːʃən/ B2	noun - an organization founded for a specific purpose, especially education or care
insane /ɪnˈseɪn/ B2	adjective - wildly foolish or mentally ill
scientific /ˌsaɪənˈtɪfɪk/ B2	adjective - relating to or based on science
history /ˈhɪstəri/ B1	noun - the study of past events
Olympics /ˈɒlɪmpɪks/ B1	noun - the international sporting competition held every four years
hitchhike /ˈhɪtʃˌhaɪk/ B2	verb - to travel by getting rides from passing vehicles
tendonitis /ˌtɛndəˈnaɪtɪs/ C2	noun - inflammation of a tendon, causing pain and swelling
Caribbean /kəˈrɪbiən/ B2	adjective - relating to the Caribbean region or its culture
pigtails /ˈpɪɡteɪlz/ B2	noun - two sections of hair tied at the back of the head, resembling a pig's tail
faith /feɪθ/ B2	noun - complete trust or confidence in a religious doctrine
Amen /ɑːˈmɛn/ B2	interjection - a word used at the end of a prayer to express solemn ratification

Key Grammar Structures

• Can you imagine afterwards?

  ➔ Modal verb in a question

  ➔ The modal **"Can"** is placed at the beginning of the sentence to ask about ability or possibility.

• I just don't know where I went wrong.

  ➔ Negative present simple + embedded past‑simple clause

  ➔ The main clause uses the negative **"don't"** with present simple, while the embedded clause **"went"** is in past simple to refer to a past action.

• Have you considered B.F. Skinner's behavior modification?

  ➔ Present perfect question

  ➔ The auxiliary **"Have"** + past participle **"considered"** forms the present perfect, used here to ask about past experience up to now.

• It uses punishment and reward to get the results you want.

  ➔ Infinitive of purpose

  ➔ The infinitive **"to get"** follows the verb **"uses"** and shows the purpose of the action.

• I took a real beating at the craps table, and then I won it all back playing Caribbean Stud Poker.

  ➔ Gerund phrase as adverbial (result/consequence)

  ➔ The gerund **"playing"** introduces a simultaneous activity that explains *how* the speaker won back the money.

• According to B.F. Skinner, if I can find the appropriate punishment to motivate Missy, there's no limit to what she might be able to learn.

  ➔ Modal "might be able to" for possibility in a conditional clause

  ➔ The modal **"might"** + **"be able to"** expresses a lower degree of certainty about the ability **"learn"** in the hypothetical situation introduced by **"if"**.

• If I get the voltage wrong, I could spend the rest of my life in an institution for the criminally insane.

  ➔ Second conditional with "could" for probable result

  ➔ The **"if"** clause uses simple past **"get"** to set an unreal condition, and **"could"** in the main clause shows a possible but uncertain consequence.

• Would you be ready to learn some advanced calculus if it saved Celeste's pigtails?

  ➔ Second conditional with "would" for hypothetical willingness

  ➔ The modal **"Would"** introduces a polite, hypothetical question, and the **"if"** clause uses simple past **"saved"** to describe an unreal condition.

• I can't turn it off.

  ➔ Modal "can't" + base verb (ability/inability)

  ➔ The modal **"can't"** (cannot) expresses inability, and it is followed directly by the base verb **"turn"**.